March 13, 2024 • 35 mins
Have you ever found yourself at a crossroads, the life you planned crumbling around you? That's where Steve Gamlin, the Motivational Firewood Guy, stood before he ignited a new chapter filled with humor and hope. In a heartfelt conversation, Steve shares his transformation from hitting rock bottom to warming hearts with his blend of stand-up comedy and motivational speaking. His journey is a powerful reminder that adversity isn't a roadblock, but a catalyst for uncovering our true purpose and potential.
Laughter, they say, is the shortest distance between two people, and Steve proves it with every chuckle and life lesson shared. We get into the nitty-gritty of how a single laugh can build a bridge, create a memory, and change a life. During the episode, we also peel back the curtain on vision boards and reveal their unexpected depth. They're not just about pasting pictures of fast cars or exotic vacations; they're a map to the soul's deepest desires and the step-by-step path to fulfillment.
But what about joy? Can we really integrate our childhood passions into our adult lives? Steve enlightens us on this topic, exploring how volunteering and simple acts of love can reignite that spark of pure happiness. We wrap things up with a high-energy discussion on fostering positivity, no matter the hurdles life throws our way. So, grab your own motivational firewood, and let's light up a path to a life packed with positivity and a good dose of laughter.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to the Middle-Age-ish podcast.
Authentically andunapologetically, keeping it
real, discussing all thingsmiddle-age-ish, a time when
metabolism slows and confidencegrows.
Join fashion and fitnessentrepreneur Ashley Badosky,
former Celtic woman and founderof the Lisa Kelly Voice Academy,
lisa Kelly, licensedpsychologist and mental health
(00:24):
expert, dr Pam Wright, andhighly sought-after cosmetic
injector and board-certifiednurse practitioner, trisha
Kennedy-Roman.
Join your host on the journeyof Middle-Age-ish.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode
of Middle-Age-ish podcast.
I'm Trisha Kennedy-Roman andI'm joined here today with my
co-host, Ashley Badosky, LisaKelly and Dr Pam Wright, and we
are joined today by Steve Gamlin.
We're excited to have him here.
He is a background in radio asan MC in stand-up comedy and he
is known as the MotivationalFirewood Guy.
(00:58):
So welcome to the podcast,Steve.
We're so glad to have you andwe are really anxious to hear
about one where we got the namethe Motivational Firewood.
So welcome.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Thank you so much for having me Looking forward to
our conversation and thatactually came out very early in
my speaking career, right around2005.
And at the suggestion of afriend, I attended a national
speaker for association of NewEngland meeting and I walked in
so intimidated because everybodyhas their lanyards and their
name badges and they're alldressed up nice, and somebody
(01:26):
points me to the table with thehi my name is Sticker and a
Sharpie and I just kind of wrotemy name on there and one of the
people that his name was Donand he said so, steve, what
brings you here today?
I said, well, I'm becoming aspeaker.
And he said, well, what setsyou apart from other speakers?
And I said I want to helppeople.
I said, steve, we all want tohelp people.
What makes you different andunique?
And for about three to fiveminutes I sputtered sentence
(01:48):
fragments that meant absolutelynothing, because I was just
cornered like a deer in theheadlights and finally I just
said you know what, don, ifpeople are coming to hear me
speak, it means they have a tinyspark or something in their
heart they want to create intheir life.
And if I share a story, a tip,a tactic, a strategy, a lesson,
something that inspires them totake action and they create a
win.
I said it's kind of like I gavehim a piece of motivational
(02:10):
firewood, now his fingers and hegoes that is really unique.
He says it's really cool andyou might want to trademark that
, that's really interesting.
But you know, what I like bestis the way your face just lit up
when you said that and he saidyoung man, you hang on to that
and you take that and run withit.
And I've been.
I've owned the trademark eversince.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
Oh man.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
That's amazing.
Speaker 5 (02:30):
I love it.
Speaker 4 (02:31):
I knew it had to be like a really good story, right.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Had to.
So how did you go from movingto that part of motivational
speaking, from being on when youwere in radio?
Was it?
Did I have to do anything withthat, or how did you make that
transition?
Speaker 3 (02:44):
Do you remember the old Wiley Coyote and Roderick
cartoons back in the day?
I've got a few forth again.
I knew it but if you recallthem, basically in the early
2000s, I pulled the Wiley Coyote, acme, rocket, roller Skates
right out the cliff to thebottom of the canyon.
I quit my radio career, myfirst marriage fell apart and at
age 35, I was $62,000 in debt.
(03:06):
It had to crawl back home andlive with Spanley and I pretty
much blew up my entire life andjust sat in the ashes wondering
what the heck I was going to do.
And a hot August afternoon in2003, I had $3 in my pocket on
Friday and I decided to take outmy frustrations on a bucket of
golf balls.
And I was underneath these big,tall steel towered power lines.
(03:27):
And hot August afternoon in NewEngland, a thunderstorm came
through and everybody but me ranfrom the store because I was
just there taking out myfrustrations, mad at myself and,
in a thunderstorm, barefoot inthe wet grass, because I took my
shoes off holding the club up.
I just looked up and said goahead, I dare you.
And I hit my bucket and thebuckets of two other guys who
(03:48):
had run from the store.
And at the end of the hour Icouldn't lift my arms.
I got back to my car and when Iopened the door the rain
stopped and the sun came backout.
And the next day I had aconversation with my brand new
life coach and he said how wasyour week?
And as funny as I could make itsound, it was pathetic and fun.
I told him about that hour andwhen he stopped laughing he
asked have you ever thought ofbeing a motivational speaker or
(04:11):
a standup comedian?
I think you'd be really good atboth.
And what he did not know wasthat when I was 11 years old, I
wanted to be a radio DJ andauthor of my own books, a
standup comedian and a teacherof people, but not in the
classroom.
And within two weeks I went tomy first comedy class and a week
after that my first hostmaster's meeting.
And here we are.
Speaker 6 (04:29):
That's so cool.
Speaker 4 (04:30):
I love that.
Yeah, it just proves that youjust never give up on yourself.
You find the gifts where theycome.
Follow the dream.
Speaker 6 (04:35):
Yeah, did you go back into radio or were you just
done at that point?
Speaker 3 (04:40):
I was done During my 10 years.
I worked about 15 years worthof hours and twice the radio
stations I worked for got soldand it got to the point where
every time I heard we aregetting sold, it made you're
getting fired.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Yeah, because I haven't twice.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
And I heard the rumblings a third time right
around the early 2000s and Ijust pulled the recording,
bailed.
Not my most well thought outdecision ever, but here we are.
Speaker 6 (05:05):
I think when you're young enough, though you think
you like in some ways, I knowyou hit rock bottom, but you, I
think, when you're young enough,you kind of have that
invincible quality aboutyourself.
You're like it doesn't matter,I can start over.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
Yeah, I can do this.
Speaker 6 (05:17):
Yeah, you know, if you have any sort of ambition.
I think that's part of beingyoung and going forward and
achieving what you want toachieve.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
We're very resilient creatures and I just lived by
the credo that which doesn'tkill me gives me a great story
to share on stage.
I've jumped out of threeperfectly good airplanes with
2.5 perfectly packed parachutes.
I get stories there.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
My goodness, yeah, that's something.
Pam is only one of our greats.
That is brave enough to.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
Yeah, she's the only one out of this group who will
ever do that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, it's so much fun.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Yeah, did you do that just for the thriller?
Is that something that helpedyou move to something else?
Was that conquering of fear,what made you decide to jump out
of a perfectly good plane?
Speaker 3 (05:58):
I got to do it for free Back in my radio days.
I'd gotten two tandem jumps.
And then in the early 2000sthey reached out to me and said
hey, steve, do you still DJ?
Because I had a DJ business onthe side.
And I said, yeah, I DJ.
And they said oh, we're havingthis big bonfire and this big
party and can you come out andplay some music?
And I said, okay, what's yourbudget?
And they go well, we don't haveany money.
(06:19):
I said give me two solo jumps,because I wanted to give one to
my coach.
And they said do you?
We played music for about anhour and the neighbors called
the cops.
They shut us down when I stillgot my jumps.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
So it was a win Trade alone.
I got to see why it was a win.
Speaker 5 (06:38):
All right.
So I have a question for you,because I feel like public
speaking is probably thescariest thing that people do,
but I would think being acomedian in front of people
because the audience is eithergoing to be great or you're
going to tell the same jokes andthe next audience is going to
bomb how do you deal with thatand how do you get the courage
to go on each night, I guess, todo that?
Speaker 3 (06:58):
I am by nature an introvert and I'm actually a
relatively shy person and itwould have been easier had I not
been mortally embarrassed inthe seventh grade spelling B
when I was 13, because thatkilled my confidence for about
12 to 15 years.
So for people that say, ohSteve, it's so easy for you to
(07:19):
get up there, oh Steve, do youever get nervous?
And they told somebody thismorning who asked me, don't you
ever get nervous?
I said well, I only get nervousevery time.
You know, the only part Ireally worry about is about the
first 60 to 90 seconds.
I just want to connect.
You get that first laugh andthen we're off and rolling.
So it's not that I'm nervousabout the whole thing, it's just
(07:40):
connecting very quickly withthe audience.
And once I get that first laugh, oh it's on, and I love what I
get to do for a living.
I truly love it, and I didstand up for about seven years.
I haven't done it now at about12 or 13 years, but I may go
back to that.
It just I fell in love and wewanted to spend more time
(08:02):
together and it was just gettingtough to drive an hour and a
half to do five minutes ofcomedy for free.
Speaker 4 (08:07):
Right, yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 6 (08:09):
I think that connection is really important
and very few people ever saythat about performing and being
on stage, but I assume it's thesame, that motivational speaking
as well, because you have to,in a sense, get people to trust
you, because once you have themin the palm of your hand,
trusting you and I coach singingnow, but I was a singer but I'm
always saying to the kids, likethose first few minutes that
(08:30):
you get out on the stage, youhave to fool them into believing
you're better than you are andthat's like making a connection.
If you can make that connectionwith them, they the audience
will forgive anything becausethey feel like they're the only
person in the room and I thinkthat's really important.
I think people sometimes,especially with, well, musicians
, mainly because sometimes Ithink people go out on stage for
(08:53):
themselves as opposed to theconnection that they're trying
to make, and I think that's areally, really important point.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
Yeah, there's a lot of people in my industry who
have egos bigger than theirtrucks.
And it's all about them and I'vetried to never, ever be one of
those people.
It doesn't matter to me.
I had a speaker kind of get inmy face one time and said, well,
I've got more than 500 standingovations, I'm better than you.
And I just looked them in theeye and said I got one and I
(09:20):
cheated to get it to win a $5bet.
So a friend would buy me adrink after the event.
What you do is get people tostand up right near the part
where you say thank you, goodnight enjoy the rest of the
event Perfect, awesome.
And they start clapping and tome it's that first set of
eyeballs.
When you gesture and you pauseand say something, walk right on
(09:40):
one person, and they can't helpbut nod and in my head I'm
going OK, there's one, let'smake another connection.
Speaker 6 (09:47):
Absolutely, because that instills the confidence in
you then to continue on as well,because you kind of you walk
out.
I mean, I assume you're thesame as I am when I walk out,
because I'm nervous every time Igo out, and we were on tour for
a really long time, so you knownot that it never became a not
in us, because every audiencewas a little bit different, but
you go out on the stage andyou'd always have the first.
You know the super fans whowere there and would love them
(10:09):
be so excited.
But our aim was to get thesulky girl in the front row.
So it just became a competitionand you try extra hard, you get
it to, whatever it takes.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
I know that you're actually connected with them.
It's such a reward and I stillremember.
I'll never, ever forget this.
This was around 2008.
It was a small comedy club nearwhere I grew up and I was the
opening act and one thing I usedto love to do is go around and
just thank everybody afterwardfor coming to the show and we
enjoyed it.
Hope they had a good night,hope they had a great experience
, and I was the only one who wasdoing that.
(10:41):
I don't know why, but I love todo it.
And two women came over andthey pointed across the room.
They said do you see that womanover there going to get her
coat?
I said, yeah, she goes well,that's our best friend and this
is the first time she's come outin six months.
Something very bad had happenedto her life and she had a major
loss in her life.
And they said tonight was thefirst time we heard her laugh in
(11:02):
six months and you made herlaugh and I'll never forget that
.
It's not about standingovations or who's the best, it's
connections.
Speaker 4 (11:10):
Yeah, and I do think that laughter is medicine.
Speaker 6 (11:13):
No, I don't think so I mean.
Speaker 4 (11:15):
I don't think that there's been any part of my life
, whether it's the peaks ofalleys or whatever, but if you
can infuse laughter, it is likenature's natural wonder, at
least for me.
For real.
Yeah, I think it's amazingbecause, again I go back to,
laughter cures everything,absolutely.
(11:35):
You can get your point across,as you know, but just, I think
it's just the universal language.
Speaker 6 (11:41):
And it breaks barriers with people.
It's definitely uncomfortableif you can laugh at yourself or
even at somebody else and feelOK about doing it.
It really does break barriers.
I love to see that when youhear motivational speakers or
even pastors or anybody who hasto stand up, because we all know
if you're just lecturing people.
Speaker 4 (12:00):
But you're still right, like when you infuse
laughter in any type of message,whether it's church or
motivational speaking orwhatever, for some reason it
keeps people's interest and itseems to resonate.
When you could say the exactsame things, but then this is
what I want you to do, and I'llfollow one, two, three and
(12:23):
report back to me.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
I think the funniest things that I've seen are the
ones that would be tooembarrassing for you to actually
say out loud, but the otherperson does and you can relate
to it.
Speaker 6 (12:31):
I think that's probably the funniest.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
So just in looking at , kind of looking at your
background, reading some thingson you, obviously I know that
you really like to motivatepeople and to have something
that they're reaching for inlife.
But one thing I read I'mcurious about is you created a
T-shirt that said friends don'tlet friends attend vision board
parties.
So tell us about that one.
I need that T-shirt.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Well, I've got a couple of my.
I had one hanging in here andfinally had to go into the
laundry, but it's usually herein the studio.
My main topic is visualizationand vision boards and doing my
best to teach the world thatthey are not arts and crafts
projects.
And you're right around NewYear's.
You see all these things pop up.
Hey, we're having a visionboard party.
(13:16):
We're going to have wine,cheese, cracker, scissors,
glitter, acoustic, folks, boards, magazines.
Come on, make your vision boardand create success in your life
.
To me, like you've got NewYear's resolutions which are
small and then you've got goalswhich are bigger, vision board
parties to me are small.
They're not worthless, they'renot dumb, they're.
They're small Because theybarely scratch the surface of
(13:37):
what visualization is all about.
So I was talking to a friendone day and she said something.
She goes oh, you're going tolove this.
I saw another ad for a visionboard event, vision board party
with wine, she's and all that.
She goes 25 bucks and you'regoing to create success.
And I just, I just kind ofsnapped and I said friends,
don't let friends go to visionboard parties.
And she started laughing.
So I said let me hold on, letme write that down.
(13:59):
It was in three days and suremade.
And then it says that and it'sjust a warning to people to if
you're going to do visualizationto create a vision board,
understand it's not a surfacelevel thing.
We are talking about going sodeep into not just what you want
to get, but who you want tobecome.
And it's not just materialthings, because so many people
(14:19):
send me pictures deep.
You're going to be so proud.
I made a vision board.
Now say, send me a picture andwhat is it?
That's what I call the visionboard starter kit Labor, yeety
yacht, mansion, private jet,helicopter, big rock and gold
watch and a big stack of goldbars and pellets of cash in
their basement.
Okay, there's nothing wrong withany of these things, but who do
(14:40):
you need to become to make allthis happen?
Who do you need to be?
And besides, there are eightmajor areas of your life your
physical health, your emotionalwell-being, your closest
relationships, core values thatguide everything you do, your
faith and spirituality, yourconnection to the world in real
ways, your work and your money.
Where's the rest of it?
(15:01):
And they go.
Oh.
So that's my challenge withvision board parties.
Again, they're not worthlessand they're not stupid, they're
not dumb, but I don't believethey go deeply enough and it's
like planting seeds in very,very shallow water.
If it even rains a little bit,they're going to wash away and
be gone.
Speaker 6 (15:17):
I don't think I've ever been invited to a vision
board party either.
Speaker 4 (15:21):
I mean, I've seen it for like home decor.
You know like if you're working, Wow, but I've never.
Yeah, I haven't.
Speaker 5 (15:29):
I use them.
I'm a psychologist, I use themwith clients, but it's more
about one certain goal, and soif you want to work on being a
comedian, okay.
Well, if that's a 10-year plan,then how do we?
What do you need to do in eightyears?
Or where do you need to be infive?
Years, and then you kind oflike walk it back, so it's more
a doable.
Substance yes, yeah, there's away to get to that goal.
(15:50):
But I agree, like having a lotof things on the board and what
does that mean to you, and moneyand things like that.
Like people always chasesometimes that kind of facade
that doesn't bring themhappiness or doesn't make them
who they are a better person inthe end.
They think it's what they wantbut it's not really so you have
to even go a deep into like whyis this on your board?
Speaker 4 (16:08):
Yeah, I would think that if you had to have to do
one of those boards and again,this is coming from someone
who's never been to one of thoseparties, but like, the first
picture needs to be of you happy, because I feel like to get all
of those things whatever yourvision is, you got to be at
peace with yourself and be happyfirst, in my opinion.
But I am not.
I am not Dr Pam, and I'm not acomedian, although I do think
(16:31):
I'm funny.
Speaker 5 (16:34):
But you know it's right, you are.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
But that has to be the like, that has to be the
center picture, of course,because that's where the
manifestation comes from, is, ifyou like, it comes from within.
So I think people think thesethings equal happiness or these
things equal Absolutely butthat's when you're like you got
to circle back around and butanyway, again, that is my two
cents on, and never being too.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
I think, vision board , vision board.
We just did the wine and cheeseparties.
Speaker 4 (17:05):
We concentrated on the wine, the cheese and the
talking aspect of a vision board.
But I do like.
Speaker 5 (17:12):
I like your idea about, you know, when you lost
your career, every time that youwould get fired or you would
lose a job like looking forsomething that you really wanted
to do and that you valued,versus just being like, oh wow,
throwing the towel.
Life's over, right?
You know, it's just, it's likea pivot moment, as I would say,
to go to something that youreally are passionate about.
Speaker 3 (17:33):
Yeah, and that was when I remembered that the four
things I'd wanted to do when Iwas 11 years old and I was
starting.
I was visualizing even then anddidn't even know it because I
didn't know such a thing existed.
But I used to imagine myself ina recording studio, being a DJ,
writing my own books.
When I was a kid.
I wish I still had these.
I used to write my old littlebooks and draw my own little
(17:54):
pictures and everything I wish Istill had.
All of these things wound uphappening over time and now that
I'm doing them moreintentionally, things happen
faster and things happen deeperand I'm more connected.
Because now I know and you saidit in one of the most powerful
words in the last conversationknowing why you want what you
want.
An emotionally connected walkcan be the gas in your tank, the
(18:16):
spark in your engine.
It can keep little pebbles frombecoming Jersey barriers.
If you know your why, you'regoing to power walls like the
Kool-Aid man to achieve what Iwant to do where, if it's just
something that's like, well,okay, well, I guess it's not
going to happen.
If you really want something tohappen.
I really wanted to fall in loveone more time in my life.
(18:37):
That was three years of workand I also love that.
You said the happiness and themost important stuff to go in
the center of the board.
That's where I start with everyboard.
Even before I fell in love withmy wife, tina, I had pictures
of happy couples in the centerof the board holding hands on a
B I'm a volpless romanticholding hands on the beach.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
There's nothing wrong with that?
Speaker 3 (18:57):
No, nothing, tina.
My wife Tina always says shegoes.
You realize you're the chick inthis relationship.
Speaker 5 (19:03):
Like, you're not worth your date.
Speaker 3 (19:04):
There's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 5 (19:05):
No, you're not At this hairline.
Speaker 4 (19:10):
there is nothing wrong with that statement.
That is all that is okay,they're good with it.
Speaker 5 (19:14):
They're good with it Anyone used to laugh at me for
that.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
Yeah, is it laughing anymore?
Now they're hiring me forcoaching.
Exactly.
Speaker 6 (19:22):
I'm going to create their link, yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:24):
No shame in my game, whatsoever.
Speaker 4 (19:27):
That's ignore, should there be, yeah that's great.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
You know you talked about when you were younger and
thinking about dreaming of beinga radio DJ and such like that.
And when we're young we have alot of goals.
You know, we're.
You know a lot of differentideas of what we want to do when
we grow up.
And then all of a sudden youblink and you're grown up.
And I'm curious of what, if youwere motivating someone to you
know, work towards theirhappiness, work towards their
best self the difference betweenwhat you would tell someone who
(19:51):
was 18 versus 81, because Ifeel like when we get to middle
age and beyond, you kind of feellike it's too late, yeah,
you're stuck.
All those hopes and dreams youhad as a child are too late,
you're already there.
So what would you tell someonelike who kind of felt like, hey,
my life's half over or whatevermore than half over, to keep
them motivated?
Speaker 3 (20:09):
I started asking them what their favorite
conversations were, they had inthe past week.
And if they say, well, I don'ttalk to too many people, I say,
all right, well, when was thelast time you went out and had a
little fun?
And if they're really, reallystuck, I'll ask them what did
you want to be when you wereyounger?
What did you want to do?
What did you like to do themost?
And it's funny becausesometimes people go, huh, I
haven't thought about that in along time.
(20:30):
I want it to be a trinariumbecause I love animals, and I'll
ask if they have any pets.
No, I'm not allowed to have anypets.
And then all of a sudden westart to strategize okay, can't
have pets, you always wanted tobe around animals.
Is there an animal shelter or arescue in your town?
Yeah, have you ever been there?
Have you gone to volunteer?
Have you signed up for maybehalf an hour once a month to go
(20:53):
walk some dogs or play with somecats to make their curb appeal
a little better for peoplecoming in and looking to adopt?
Could you make a donation?
Could you be around there, justeven sweeping up or something,
and immerse yourself somewherein the environment that could
even just spark the joy ofsomething that used to make you
very, very happy in your life.
(21:13):
And I remember when I was veryearly on, somebody very close to
me who is extremely intelligent, extremely hardworking.
She earns every dime she makeswhich she gets paid well, now
she wanted to dump it all to gowork with children with
disabilities and she couldn'tbecause she could never find a
place that would pay heranywhere near where what she was
(21:34):
making.
So I suggested she volunteerone morning a month to go do
activities with one of theorganizations.
She went to a bowling hour withone of the local nonprofits and
she started volunteering theretwo times a month and she
absolutely loved it.
She goes.
I don't even mind working 60hours a week just so I can get
(21:54):
to Saturday morning when I getto go do that.
So those are the conversationsI have with people.
You just kind of brush all themud and the clouds away and get
back to that original spark,that original glow in their
heart and you just find adifferent way.
You know you mentioned the wordpivot earlier.
I always say bounce it off thewall a different way and maybe
(22:15):
put it back into your lifesomehow and tap back into that
passion and that energy and thatsmile and that joy and that
feeling of value and just beingconnected again to who you
really want it to be.
Speaker 6 (22:26):
It's so simple when you think about it Like it's
just yeah, I think people thinkit's all and nothing.
Yeah, I think people thinkeverything has to be so
complicated and you have to doso many different things, when
the answer really is quitesimple and it's most definitely
inside you.
Speaker 4 (22:43):
You can figure it out if you just simplify everything
and just find your joy, yeah,and like you said, it doesn't
have to be all or nothing, itjust volunteering at a place
that makes you happy.
Again, I think it goes back tothen.
That's going to trickle through, like your friend, like it
trickles through the rest ofyour life.
(23:05):
You don't have to like all of asudden I'm 40 and I'm not going
to be a vet.
But finding those littlemoments of joy and then doing
those little moments of joydoesn't mean you have to do a
complete 180 to change your lifeand make things better Maybe 40
hours of thought a week, itwouldn't be your joy anymore, I
(23:26):
mean you know everybody's alwaysheard the sign to make your
hubby your job Right.
Speaker 6 (23:31):
You know I don't agree with that statement, but I
obviously don't either, but thefilm you know we're very lucky
and we're in, and that's true.
We're very lucky that we allget to do what we love.
But I can imagine, you know,people who are 40 hours a week
doing a job that they don'tparticularly love, but count
forward Right, and especially, Ithink, people who are paid very
well for a job they don't love.
Speaker 4 (23:50):
It's even harder to feed, right, I mean just like
this friend so hard.
Speaker 6 (23:54):
But it is just finding you don't have to do
what you love 40 hours a week,you just have to do it.
Yeah, at some point in themovie.
Speaker 5 (24:00):
But I do.
I wonder if there's like atrend, because when I used to
teach a master's class, I hadtwo attorneys that came into the
class and they were in their60s.
But they were like we are happyat our career, we want to go
and pursue a new career.
And then last week I did interninterviews the people who are
in the master's program who wantto come and interview at my
practice and it was amazingthere were so many that had had
(24:22):
two and three previous careers.
We're kind of middle age some ofthem younger, but it wasn't
just these kids who are rightout of undergrad going to
masters.
It was really a lot ofdiversity and a lot of people
who were kind of like older andsaying, like I did marketing
before, I did.
You know, whatever I did before, it wasn't really happy and I
just saved up money to be ableto go back to school and do what
(24:45):
I want to do.
So I don't think you're evertoo old, but I do.
I like your point aboutvolunteering and get involved
with the things that you reallyvalue.
Speaker 3 (24:52):
Yeah, and I tell people all the time look, you
know, we fall into those pitsand we crash and burn sometimes.
Sometimes we do it to ourselves, sometimes it gets done to us
like the pandemic.
I mean, we didn't see thatcoming.
I think a lot of people lookedaround at their lives and
thought, oh my gosh, is this it?
Yeah, I had people reach out tome saying Steve, I want to do
(25:14):
something else.
They say we're coming back tothe office soon.
I don't want to go back to that.
And it's during the 30s, 40s,50s, even early 60s, saying I
want more out of life than this.
And it doesn't mean I suggesteda job.
I would never do that, thatwould be reckless on my part.
But we start talking hobbiesand the passions and the
interest and just bring life tothemselves every day, share
(25:37):
themselves on in the mirrorfirst thing in the morning.
That's something I learned fromMel Robbins, a speaker who I
absolutely adore.
Five beeps and my alarm goesoff because Tina bought me a
clock that doesn't have a snoozebutton.
Speaker 4 (25:46):
I said I'd better get it Okay.
Well, that is not a nice tip.
I'm just going to tell you thatright now, for my husband
listening to this, because Istart my snooze button at 5.45
in the morning and I comerolling out about 6.20.
So please, if Michael'slistening do not ever think
about getting me a clock with asnooze button, Exactly.
So all right, carry on.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
I'm logged in on fire First thing in the morning,
5.05 AM, alarm off in five.
I count five, four, three, two,one.
Both feet are on the floor.
I get up and I walk into thebathroom, turn on the light.
I'm smiling and I'm high-fivingthe mirror.
I said we're going to make agood day happen.
And then I go rock my workoutfor 90 minutes to two hours and
then start my day.
(26:28):
All because I get up in themorning and I choose that I'm
going to have a good day.
And then I put the actionsfollow.
Speaker 6 (26:35):
I do not know one Irish person who will be awake
at 5.00 in the morning.
Speaker 4 (26:39):
I just know that it takes me I get 35, 40 minutes to
get my brain going on themorning stretch.
Speaker 6 (26:45):
But I'm not like that .
Speaker 5 (26:47):
That's the only thing that you remember the whole get
up and get into the sun andthen do your exercise.
Speaker 4 (26:53):
I do think, getting up with a positive attitude,
even if it's 30 minutes afteryour alarm goes off.
I think that setting yourintentions for the day really
does matter, and I didn'trealize that when I was younger,
and I know that's kind of likewhat you're basis, isn't.
It's so true if you set yourattentions to positive, I feel
(27:14):
like throughout the day, youwill attract positive.
If you get up and,unfortunately, set your
intentions to negative, you havea better chance of then
attracting negative.
That's all you'll see all day.
Speaker 5 (27:26):
It's just really negative.
Speaker 4 (27:27):
I know it's a mindset and I know it's hard I don't
say it flippantly at all but itis really true.
When you set those intentionsin the right direction, you can
manifest more positivity or tryto.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
It all comes down to what you're noticing.
I mean, what you set for theintention is going to set your
energy.
It's going to set your filters,your ears, your eyes, your
heart, your everything.
Your brain is going to be awareof that.
Speaker 4 (27:52):
It's the right attitude.
Speaker 3 (27:53):
How I start.
Every day after my workout,I'll go upstairs and I'll write
in my gratitude journal.
My gratitude journal is mythree favorite moments from the
previous day, so I'm backloading and I'm writing them
down.
To start today, it's almostlike re-stoking a positive
that's great.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
You know the one example you gave about the
person you were talking towanting to become a vet and then
they couldn't be around animalsbecause their apartment didn't
allow pets.
I think it's really easy to getone little roadblock and it's
easier for us to just stop andsay, well, I can't have pets,
can't be around animals, versustrying to come up with solutions
.
Well, I can't have animals inmy house, but, as you said, you
know, going to volunteer in ananimal shelter, so what would
(28:29):
you say would be the greatestthing we can do for our future
self, to kind of be motivatedand move towards that positive
direction.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
If you think of it like an old wooden roller
coaster, because so many people,when I say imagine your best
future self, they getoverwhelmed and they just stop
and they go.
Well, I guess this isn't toobad.
I always say look, think of itlike an old wooden roller
coaster.
Your best self is at the top ofthat first hill.
You might be at the parking lotlevel right now and that's okay
, but you know where you are,you know where you want to be.
(29:00):
So think like an old woodenroller coaster.
You got to go, click, click,click, click, even if you start
at the end and work backwards.
Well, if I have that, I musthave done this, must have done
this, must have met.
This person must have learnedthis, must have listened to this
podcast, read this bookconnected with this group.
Think of all the little stepsyou have to take, and when you
think about it that way, it'snot as overwhelming, because you
(29:22):
can't start halfway, you can'tskip any steps.
You have to sit there and doall the little steps.
Now here's the cool part aboutit After a while, when you do
the steps, you look over yourshoulder and you realize you're
actually getting closer and youget more excited and you're
getting more confident.
And when you're more confidentin your daily actions, you can
build momentum.
(29:42):
When you build momentum andkeep doing it consistently,
you'll hardwire better habits.
So you're not going to be thatsame person you were at the park
and lot level.
You're getting bolder, gettingstronger and the closer you get
when you get over the top andyou do the last thing, it took
to get there.
You look all the way back downand you say I made it.
And then you go over the topand you scream your brains out
(30:03):
because it's a ride you can'tstop.
You just celebrate, scream, cry, whatever you want to do, grip
for dear life.
When you get to the end, if youreally enjoyed that ride, it's
the first thing you want to do.
Get on again when you'veachieved a goal and when you're
setting your next goal andyou're back in line, I want you
to look around and see anybodyaround you who also wants to set
(30:25):
a goal but looks really nervous, like it's their first time.
Say hey, I just had thisamazing ride.
Is this all new to you?
Yeah, why don't you come sitnext to me?
I'll tell you a couple ofstories on the way up.
I'm going to show you how thisworks, so you don't get scared
and climb out and walk all theway back down the walk machine.
We all get to be coaches.
Speaker 4 (30:43):
You're absolutely right.
When you create that visual,then it can take root and we can
all find little nuggets thatare relevant to our life or our
goals.
You just have to imagine it andyou've got to put that visual
in your mind.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
I love the motivational firewood and I just
love your outlook.
I love the idea of not hittingthe snooze and laying there
thinking about that I don't wantto get up and instead jumping
up and making a great day.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
Hey now there's another one.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
Yes, you don't want to do that, but I think that's
great, because the longer youlay there, the more you can
think about how early it is andyou don't want to get up.
You've been just a delight.
We're so glad to have had youon here and we'll definitely
include your information.
We put out this podcast so ourguests can get some of that
motivational firewood too.
Speaker 3 (31:25):
My pleasure.
Thank you so much.
I've loved this.
It went by so fast.
I mean, it was awesome.
Speaker 4 (31:30):
That's what positive talk does, yes, yes yes, so keep
doing what you're doing.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
Thank, you so much, Steve.
Have a great night.
Speaker 3 (31:37):
Take care.
Bye-bye, thank you.
Speaker 6 (31:40):
My spirit of positive people for change.
Speaker 2 (31:42):
Here it is.
I mean, I think that I think,yeah, just I don't know, he
makes you want to be happy andbe positive, and I think, when
you surround yourself withpeople like that, I think that
that just you can't help it.
Be positive, it's not necessary.
Speaker 4 (31:55):
You don't have to change the wheel Like you just
again set your intentions.
If you said it, that you aregoing to be positive, then you
will more than likely attractpositive.
Not all the time, it's not, youknow, but it's so true If you
wake up in the morning.
And I know people havedifferent circumstances and,
like I said, this is life ispeaks and valleys, like there's.
(32:17):
We've all had triumphs andtrials, but when you can find
kindness, you can findpositivity.
And even the littlest thing,like that little ice, he said
with the heart yeah, I mean,there's been days that you know
things have not gone great orwhatever, and like I'll see a
Cardinal and that's kind of likemy spirit.
Speaker 6 (32:36):
Oh.
Speaker 4 (32:37):
And it makes me pause .
I'd be like, okay, ashley, getit together.
Yeah, you know, things are okay, things are good.
So just finding those littlemoments, I have been in
perspective too.
Yes, like it makes you stop andbe like wait, what are you
doing?
Speaker 5 (32:55):
Right, that's really important.
We can all go down the rabbithole super fast.
Absolutely yeah.
Speaker 4 (33:00):
Because I think that's what the world is more
now geared towards.
It's like let 's just all stayin the rabbit hole yeah.
And so much better with therainbows and the unicorns.
Speaker 6 (33:09):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
And the leprechauns.
Speaker 6 (33:11):
And the leprechauns.
I'm a Cardinal.
I'm like thinking a little way.
He says what am I?
What's my spirit?
I'm a spirit, I'm a.
It's definitely a chimpanzee.
Speaker 5 (33:20):
Really, I just do say why.
Speaker 6 (33:22):
I'm hairy Okay.
Speaker 5 (33:24):
They're hairy.
Speaker 6 (33:26):
And I just they're smart, they're funny and they're
cuddly.
Speaker 4 (33:29):
They're cuddly, they have sense of humor, they do
crazy things.
Speaker 6 (33:33):
They hop on people, I hop on people.
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 4 (33:37):
Lisa's fans are going to be like I'm sorry, what now?
Can we clarify?
Speaker 5 (33:40):
that?
Can we clarify that?
Speaker 4 (33:41):
Oh my God, they're like okay, lisa's next master
class we want to know about that.
Speaker 6 (33:45):
Wouldn't that be a king room?
To be hairy like a chimpanzee.
Speaker 5 (33:49):
He has, like, turned them all off anyway, I was like
when they came to leave it, Ihop on people.
I was like, let's talk aboutthis, lisa, I think that's going
to be the next one.
Speaker 4 (33:57):
I hop on people We'll get t-shirts Yay.
Speaker 6 (34:01):
You're so regal with your, like, you know, with your-
.
Speaker 4 (34:04):
We like Lisa's spirit animal, a chimpanzee with Harry
, it likes to jump on you.
Speaker 6 (34:09):
I play with your feet and stuff.
Oh my.
Speaker 4 (34:11):
God, oh, why am I starting to see only fans,
exactly?
Speaker 5 (34:16):
As a chimpanzee here she is Cheers to our spirit
animals.
Speaker 4 (34:21):
Cheers to spirit animals.
Cardinal and a chimpanzee.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Thank you for joining the ladies of the Middle Ages
podcast as they journey throughthe ups and downs of this not
young but definitely not oldseason of life.
To hear past episodes or makesuggestions for future episodes,
visit wwwmiddleagishcom.
That's wwwmiddleagishcom.
(34:50):
You can follow along on socialmedia at middleagish.
Also, if you have a moment toleave a review rate and
subscribe.
That helps others find the showand we greatly appreciate it.
Once again, thank you so muchfor joining us and we'll catch
you in the next episode of theMiddle Ages podcast.
Welcome to the Middle-Age-ish podcast.
Authentically andunapologetically, keeping it
real, discussing all thingsmiddle-age-ish, a time when
metabolism slows and confidencegrows.
Join fashion and fitnessentrepreneur Ashley Badosky,
former Celtic woman and founderof the Lisa Kelly Voice Academy,
lisa Kelly, licensedpsychologist and mental health
(00:24):
expert, dr Pam Wright, andhighly sought-after cosmetic
injector and board-certifiednurse practitioner, trisha
Kennedy-Roman.
Join your host on the journeyof Middle-Age-ish.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode
of Middle-Age-ish podcast.
I'm Trisha Kennedy-Roman andI'm joined here today with my
co-host, Ashley Badosky, LisaKelly and Dr Pam Wright, and we
are joined today by Steve Gamlin.
We're excited to have him here.
He is a background in radio asan MC in stand-up comedy and he
is known as the MotivationalFirewood Guy.
(00:58):
So welcome to the podcast,Steve.
We're so glad to have you andwe are really anxious to hear
about one where we got the namethe Motivational Firewood.
So welcome.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Thank you so much for having me Looking forward to
our conversation and thatactually came out very early in
my speaking career, right around2005.
And at the suggestion of afriend, I attended a national
speaker for association of NewEngland meeting and I walked in
so intimidated because everybodyhas their lanyards and their
name badges and they're alldressed up nice, and somebody
(01:26):
points me to the table with thehi my name is Sticker and a
Sharpie and I just kind of wrotemy name on there and one of the
people that his name was Donand he said so, steve, what
brings you here today?
I said, well, I'm becoming aspeaker.
And he said, well, what setsyou apart from other speakers?
And I said I want to helppeople.
I said, steve, we all want tohelp people.
What makes you different andunique?
And for about three to fiveminutes I sputtered sentence
(01:48):
fragments that meant absolutelynothing, because I was just
cornered like a deer in theheadlights and finally I just
said you know what, don, ifpeople are coming to hear me
speak, it means they have a tinyspark or something in their
heart they want to create intheir life.
And if I share a story, a tip,a tactic, a strategy, a lesson,
something that inspires them totake action and they create a
win.
I said it's kind of like I gavehim a piece of motivational
(02:10):
firewood, now his fingers and hegoes that is really unique.
He says it's really cool andyou might want to trademark that
, that's really interesting.
But you know, what I like bestis the way your face just lit up
when you said that and he saidyoung man, you hang on to that
and you take that and run withit.
And I've been.
I've owned the trademark eversince.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
Oh man.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
That's amazing.
Speaker 5 (02:30):
I love it.
Speaker 4 (02:31):
I knew it had to be like a really good story, right.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Had to.
So how did you go from movingto that part of motivational
speaking, from being on when youwere in radio?
Was it?
Did I have to do anything withthat, or how did you make that
transition?
Speaker 3 (02:44):
Do you remember the old Wiley Coyote and Roderick
cartoons back in the day?
I've got a few forth again.
I knew it but if you recallthem, basically in the early
2000s, I pulled the Wiley Coyote, acme, rocket, roller Skates
right out the cliff to thebottom of the canyon.
I quit my radio career, myfirst marriage fell apart and at
age 35, I was $62,000 in debt.
(03:06):
It had to crawl back home andlive with Spanley and I pretty
much blew up my entire life andjust sat in the ashes wondering
what the heck I was going to do.
And a hot August afternoon in2003, I had $3 in my pocket on
Friday and I decided to take outmy frustrations on a bucket of
golf balls.
And I was underneath these big,tall steel towered power lines.
(03:27):
And hot August afternoon in NewEngland, a thunderstorm came
through and everybody but me ranfrom the store because I was
just there taking out myfrustrations, mad at myself and,
in a thunderstorm, barefoot inthe wet grass, because I took my
shoes off holding the club up.
I just looked up and said goahead, I dare you.
And I hit my bucket and thebuckets of two other guys who
(03:48):
had run from the store.
And at the end of the hour Icouldn't lift my arms.
I got back to my car and when Iopened the door the rain
stopped and the sun came backout.
And the next day I had aconversation with my brand new
life coach and he said how wasyour week?
And as funny as I could make itsound, it was pathetic and fun.
I told him about that hour andwhen he stopped laughing he
asked have you ever thought ofbeing a motivational speaker or
(04:11):
a standup comedian?
I think you'd be really good atboth.
And what he did not know wasthat when I was 11 years old, I
wanted to be a radio DJ andauthor of my own books, a
standup comedian and a teacherof people, but not in the
classroom.
And within two weeks I went tomy first comedy class and a week
after that my first hostmaster's meeting.
And here we are.
Speaker 6 (04:29):
That's so cool.
Speaker 4 (04:30):
I love that.
Yeah, it just proves that youjust never give up on yourself.
You find the gifts where theycome.
Follow the dream.
Speaker 6 (04:35):
Yeah, did you go back into radio or were you just
done at that point?
Speaker 3 (04:40):
I was done During my 10 years.
I worked about 15 years worthof hours and twice the radio
stations I worked for got soldand it got to the point where
every time I heard we aregetting sold, it made you're
getting fired.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Yeah, because I haven't twice.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
And I heard the rumblings a third time right
around the early 2000s and Ijust pulled the recording,
bailed.
Not my most well thought outdecision ever, but here we are.
Speaker 6 (05:05):
I think when you're young enough, though you think
you like in some ways, I knowyou hit rock bottom, but you, I
think, when you're young enough,you kind of have that
invincible quality aboutyourself.
You're like it doesn't matter,I can start over.
Speaker 4 (05:16):
Yeah, I can do this.
Speaker 6 (05:17):
Yeah, you know, if you have any sort of ambition.
I think that's part of beingyoung and going forward and
achieving what you want toachieve.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
We're very resilient creatures and I just lived by
the credo that which doesn'tkill me gives me a great story
to share on stage.
I've jumped out of threeperfectly good airplanes with
2.5 perfectly packed parachutes.
I get stories there.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
My goodness, yeah, that's something.
Pam is only one of our greats.
That is brave enough to.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
Yeah, she's the only one out of this group who will
ever do that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, it's so much fun.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Yeah, did you do that just for the thriller?
Is that something that helpedyou move to something else?
Was that conquering of fear,what made you decide to jump out
of a perfectly good plane?
Speaker 3 (05:58):
I got to do it for free Back in my radio days.
I'd gotten two tandem jumps.
And then in the early 2000sthey reached out to me and said
hey, steve, do you still DJ?
Because I had a DJ business onthe side.
And I said, yeah, I DJ.
And they said oh, we're havingthis big bonfire and this big
party and can you come out andplay some music?
And I said, okay, what's yourbudget?
And they go well, we don't haveany money.
(06:19):
I said give me two solo jumps,because I wanted to give one to
my coach.
And they said do you?
We played music for about anhour and the neighbors called
the cops.
They shut us down when I stillgot my jumps.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
So it was a win Trade alone.
I got to see why it was a win.
Speaker 5 (06:38):
All right.
So I have a question for you,because I feel like public
speaking is probably thescariest thing that people do,
but I would think being acomedian in front of people
because the audience is eithergoing to be great or you're
going to tell the same jokes andthe next audience is going to
bomb how do you deal with thatand how do you get the courage
to go on each night, I guess, todo that?
Speaker 3 (06:58):
I am by nature an introvert and I'm actually a
relatively shy person and itwould have been easier had I not
been mortally embarrassed inthe seventh grade spelling B
when I was 13, because thatkilled my confidence for about
12 to 15 years.
So for people that say, ohSteve, it's so easy for you to
(07:19):
get up there, oh Steve, do youever get nervous?
And they told somebody thismorning who asked me, don't you
ever get nervous?
I said well, I only get nervousevery time.
You know, the only part Ireally worry about is about the
first 60 to 90 seconds.
I just want to connect.
You get that first laugh andthen we're off and rolling.
So it's not that I'm nervousabout the whole thing, it's just
(07:40):
connecting very quickly withthe audience.
And once I get that first laugh, oh it's on, and I love what I
get to do for a living.
I truly love it, and I didstand up for about seven years.
I haven't done it now at about12 or 13 years, but I may go
back to that.
It just I fell in love and wewanted to spend more time
(08:02):
together and it was just gettingtough to drive an hour and a
half to do five minutes ofcomedy for free.
Speaker 4 (08:07):
Right, yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 6 (08:09):
I think that connection is really important
and very few people ever saythat about performing and being
on stage, but I assume it's thesame, that motivational speaking
as well, because you have to,in a sense, get people to trust
you, because once you have themin the palm of your hand,
trusting you and I coach singingnow, but I was a singer but I'm
always saying to the kids, likethose first few minutes that
(08:30):
you get out on the stage, youhave to fool them into believing
you're better than you are andthat's like making a connection.
If you can make that connectionwith them, they the audience
will forgive anything becausethey feel like they're the only
person in the room and I thinkthat's really important.
I think people sometimes,especially with, well, musicians
, mainly because sometimes Ithink people go out on stage for
(08:53):
themselves as opposed to theconnection that they're trying
to make, and I think that's areally, really important point.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
Yeah, there's a lot of people in my industry who
have egos bigger than theirtrucks.
And it's all about them and I'vetried to never, ever be one of
those people.
It doesn't matter to me.
I had a speaker kind of get inmy face one time and said, well,
I've got more than 500 standingovations, I'm better than you.
And I just looked them in theeye and said I got one and I
(09:20):
cheated to get it to win a $5bet.
So a friend would buy me adrink after the event.
What you do is get people tostand up right near the part
where you say thank you, goodnight enjoy the rest of the
event Perfect, awesome.
And they start clapping and tome it's that first set of
eyeballs.
When you gesture and you pauseand say something, walk right on
(09:40):
one person, and they can't helpbut nod and in my head I'm
going OK, there's one, let'smake another connection.
Speaker 6 (09:47):
Absolutely, because that instills the confidence in
you then to continue on as well,because you kind of you walk
out.
I mean, I assume you're thesame as I am when I walk out,
because I'm nervous every time Igo out, and we were on tour for
a really long time, so you knownot that it never became a not
in us, because every audiencewas a little bit different, but
you go out on the stage andyou'd always have the first.
You know the super fans whowere there and would love them
(10:09):
be so excited.
But our aim was to get thesulky girl in the front row.
So it just became a competitionand you try extra hard, you get
it to, whatever it takes.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
I know that you're actually connected with them.
It's such a reward and I stillremember.
I'll never, ever forget this.
This was around 2008.
It was a small comedy club nearwhere I grew up and I was the
opening act and one thing I usedto love to do is go around and
just thank everybody afterwardfor coming to the show and we
enjoyed it.
Hope they had a good night,hope they had a great experience
, and I was the only one who wasdoing that.
(10:41):
I don't know why, but I love todo it.
And two women came over andthey pointed across the room.
They said do you see that womanover there going to get her
coat?
I said, yeah, she goes well,that's our best friend and this
is the first time she's come outin six months.
Something very bad had happenedto her life and she had a major
loss in her life.
And they said tonight was thefirst time we heard her laugh in
(11:02):
six months and you made herlaugh and I'll never forget that
.
It's not about standingovations or who's the best, it's
connections.
Speaker 4 (11:10):
Yeah, and I do think that laughter is medicine.
Speaker 6 (11:13):
No, I don't think so I mean.
Speaker 4 (11:15):
I don't think that there's been any part of my life
, whether it's the peaks ofalleys or whatever, but if you
can infuse laughter, it is likenature's natural wonder, at
least for me.
For real.
Yeah, I think it's amazingbecause, again I go back to,
laughter cures everything,absolutely.
(11:35):
You can get your point across,as you know, but just, I think
it's just the universal language.
Speaker 6 (11:41):
And it breaks barriers with people.
It's definitely uncomfortableif you can laugh at yourself or
even at somebody else and feelOK about doing it.
It really does break barriers.
I love to see that when youhear motivational speakers or
even pastors or anybody who hasto stand up, because we all know
if you're just lecturing people.
Speaker 4 (12:00):
But you're still right, like when you infuse
laughter in any type of message,whether it's church or
motivational speaking orwhatever, for some reason it
keeps people's interest and itseems to resonate.
When you could say the exactsame things, but then this is
what I want you to do, and I'llfollow one, two, three and
(12:23):
report back to me.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
I think the funniest things that I've seen are the
ones that would be tooembarrassing for you to actually
say out loud, but the otherperson does and you can relate
to it.
Speaker 6 (12:31):
I think that's probably the funniest.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
So just in looking at , kind of looking at your
background, reading some thingson you, obviously I know that
you really like to motivatepeople and to have something
that they're reaching for inlife.
But one thing I read I'mcurious about is you created a
T-shirt that said friends don'tlet friends attend vision board
parties.
So tell us about that one.
I need that T-shirt.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Well, I've got a couple of my.
I had one hanging in here andfinally had to go into the
laundry, but it's usually herein the studio.
My main topic is visualizationand vision boards and doing my
best to teach the world thatthey are not arts and crafts
projects.
And you're right around NewYear's.
You see all these things pop up.
Hey, we're having a visionboard party.
(13:16):
We're going to have wine,cheese, cracker, scissors,
glitter, acoustic, folks, boards, magazines.
Come on, make your vision boardand create success in your life
.
To me, like you've got NewYear's resolutions which are
small and then you've got goalswhich are bigger, vision board
parties to me are small.
They're not worthless, they'renot dumb, they're.
They're small Because theybarely scratch the surface of
(13:37):
what visualization is all about.
So I was talking to a friendone day and she said something.
She goes oh, you're going tolove this.
I saw another ad for a visionboard event, vision board party
with wine, she's and all that.
She goes 25 bucks and you'regoing to create success.
And I just, I just kind ofsnapped and I said friends,
don't let friends go to visionboard parties.
And she started laughing.
So I said let me hold on, letme write that down.
(13:59):
It was in three days and suremade.
And then it says that and it'sjust a warning to people to if
you're going to do visualizationto create a vision board,
understand it's not a surfacelevel thing.
We are talking about going sodeep into not just what you want
to get, but who you want tobecome.
And it's not just materialthings, because so many people
(14:19):
send me pictures deep.
You're going to be so proud.
I made a vision board.
Now say, send me a picture andwhat is it?
That's what I call the visionboard starter kit Labor, yeety
yacht, mansion, private jet,helicopter, big rock and gold
watch and a big stack of goldbars and pellets of cash in
their basement.
Okay, there's nothing wrong withany of these things, but who do
(14:40):
you need to become to make allthis happen?
Who do you need to be?
And besides, there are eightmajor areas of your life your
physical health, your emotionalwell-being, your closest
relationships, core values thatguide everything you do, your
faith and spirituality, yourconnection to the world in real
ways, your work and your money.
Where's the rest of it?
(15:01):
And they go.
Oh.
So that's my challenge withvision board parties.
Again, they're not worthlessand they're not stupid, they're
not dumb, but I don't believethey go deeply enough and it's
like planting seeds in very,very shallow water.
If it even rains a little bit,they're going to wash away and
be gone.
Speaker 6 (15:17):
I don't think I've ever been invited to a vision
board party either.
Speaker 4 (15:21):
I mean, I've seen it for like home decor.
You know like if you're working, Wow, but I've never.
Yeah, I haven't.
Speaker 5 (15:29):
I use them.
I'm a psychologist, I use themwith clients, but it's more
about one certain goal, and soif you want to work on being a
comedian, okay.
Well, if that's a 10-year plan,then how do we?
What do you need to do in eightyears?
Or where do you need to be infive?
Years, and then you kind oflike walk it back, so it's more
a doable.
Substance yes, yeah, there's away to get to that goal.
(15:50):
But I agree, like having a lotof things on the board and what
does that mean to you, and moneyand things like that.
Like people always chasesometimes that kind of facade
that doesn't bring themhappiness or doesn't make them
who they are a better person inthe end.
They think it's what they wantbut it's not really so you have
to even go a deep into like whyis this on your board?
Speaker 4 (16:08):
Yeah, I would think that if you had to have to do
one of those boards and again,this is coming from someone
who's never been to one of thoseparties, but like, the first
picture needs to be of you happy, because I feel like to get all
of those things whatever yourvision is, you got to be at
peace with yourself and be happyfirst, in my opinion.
But I am not.
I am not Dr Pam, and I'm not acomedian, although I do think
(16:31):
I'm funny.
Speaker 5 (16:34):
But you know it's right, you are.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
But that has to be the like, that has to be the
center picture, of course,because that's where the
manifestation comes from, is, ifyou like, it comes from within.
So I think people think thesethings equal happiness or these
things equal Absolutely butthat's when you're like you got
to circle back around and butanyway, again, that is my two
cents on, and never being too.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
I think, vision board , vision board.
We just did the wine and cheeseparties.
Speaker 4 (17:05):
We concentrated on the wine, the cheese and the
talking aspect of a vision board.
But I do like.
Speaker 5 (17:12):
I like your idea about, you know, when you lost
your career, every time that youwould get fired or you would
lose a job like looking forsomething that you really wanted
to do and that you valued,versus just being like, oh wow,
throwing the towel.
Life's over, right?
You know, it's just, it's likea pivot moment, as I would say,
to go to something that youreally are passionate about.
Speaker 3 (17:33):
Yeah, and that was when I remembered that the four
things I'd wanted to do when Iwas 11 years old and I was
starting.
I was visualizing even then anddidn't even know it because I
didn't know such a thing existed.
But I used to imagine myself ina recording studio, being a DJ,
writing my own books.
When I was a kid.
I wish I still had these.
I used to write my old littlebooks and draw my own little
(17:54):
pictures and everything I wish Istill had.
All of these things wound uphappening over time and now that
I'm doing them moreintentionally, things happen
faster and things happen deeperand I'm more connected.
Because now I know and you saidit in one of the most powerful
words in the last conversationknowing why you want what you
want.
An emotionally connected walkcan be the gas in your tank, the
(18:16):
spark in your engine.
It can keep little pebbles frombecoming Jersey barriers.
If you know your why, you'regoing to power walls like the
Kool-Aid man to achieve what Iwant to do where, if it's just
something that's like, well,okay, well, I guess it's not
going to happen.
If you really want something tohappen.
I really wanted to fall in loveone more time in my life.
(18:37):
That was three years of workand I also love that.
You said the happiness and themost important stuff to go in
the center of the board.
That's where I start with everyboard.
Even before I fell in love withmy wife, tina, I had pictures
of happy couples in the centerof the board holding hands on a
B I'm a volpless romanticholding hands on the beach.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
There's nothing wrong with that?
Speaker 3 (18:57):
No, nothing, tina.
My wife Tina always says shegoes.
You realize you're the chick inthis relationship.
Speaker 5 (19:03):
Like, you're not worth your date.
Speaker 3 (19:04):
There's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 5 (19:05):
No, you're not At this hairline.
Speaker 4 (19:10):
there is nothing wrong with that statement.
That is all that is okay,they're good with it.
Speaker 5 (19:14):
They're good with it Anyone used to laugh at me for
that.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
Yeah, is it laughing anymore?
Now they're hiring me forcoaching.
Exactly.
Speaker 6 (19:22):
I'm going to create their link, yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:24):
No shame in my game, whatsoever.
Speaker 4 (19:27):
That's ignore, should there be, yeah that's great.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
You know you talked about when you were younger and
thinking about dreaming of beinga radio DJ and such like that.
And when we're young we have alot of goals.
You know, we're.
You know a lot of differentideas of what we want to do when
we grow up.
And then all of a sudden youblink and you're grown up.
And I'm curious of what, if youwere motivating someone to you
know, work towards theirhappiness, work towards their
best self the difference betweenwhat you would tell someone who
(19:51):
was 18 versus 81, because Ifeel like when we get to middle
age and beyond, you kind of feellike it's too late, yeah,
you're stuck.
All those hopes and dreams youhad as a child are too late,
you're already there.
So what would you tell someonelike who kind of felt like, hey,
my life's half over or whatevermore than half over, to keep
them motivated?
Speaker 3 (20:09):
I started asking them what their favorite
conversations were, they had inthe past week.
And if they say, well, I don'ttalk to too many people, I say,
all right, well, when was thelast time you went out and had a
little fun?
And if they're really, reallystuck, I'll ask them what did
you want to be when you wereyounger?
What did you want to do?
What did you like to do themost?
And it's funny becausesometimes people go, huh, I
haven't thought about that in along time.
(20:30):
I want it to be a trinariumbecause I love animals, and I'll
ask if they have any pets.
No, I'm not allowed to have anypets.
And then all of a sudden westart to strategize okay, can't
have pets, you always wanted tobe around animals.
Is there an animal shelter or arescue in your town?
Yeah, have you ever been there?
Have you gone to volunteer?
Have you signed up for maybehalf an hour once a month to go
(20:53):
walk some dogs or play with somecats to make their curb appeal
a little better for peoplecoming in and looking to adopt?
Could you make a donation?
Could you be around there, justeven sweeping up or something,
and immerse yourself somewherein the environment that could
even just spark the joy ofsomething that used to make you
very, very happy in your life.
(21:13):
And I remember when I was veryearly on, somebody very close to
me who is extremely intelligent, extremely hardworking.
She earns every dime she makeswhich she gets paid well, now
she wanted to dump it all to gowork with children with
disabilities and she couldn'tbecause she could never find a
place that would pay heranywhere near where what she was
(21:34):
making.
So I suggested she volunteerone morning a month to go do
activities with one of theorganizations.
She went to a bowling hour withone of the local nonprofits and
she started volunteering theretwo times a month and she
absolutely loved it.
She goes.
I don't even mind working 60hours a week just so I can get
(21:54):
to Saturday morning when I getto go do that.
So those are the conversationsI have with people.
You just kind of brush all themud and the clouds away and get
back to that original spark,that original glow in their
heart and you just find adifferent way.
You know you mentioned the wordpivot earlier.
I always say bounce it off thewall a different way and maybe
(22:15):
put it back into your lifesomehow and tap back into that
passion and that energy and thatsmile and that joy and that
feeling of value and just beingconnected again to who you
really want it to be.
Speaker 6 (22:26):
It's so simple when you think about it Like it's
just yeah, I think people thinkit's all and nothing.
Yeah, I think people thinkeverything has to be so
complicated and you have to doso many different things, when
the answer really is quitesimple and it's most definitely
inside you.
Speaker 4 (22:43):
You can figure it out if you just simplify everything
and just find your joy, yeah,and like you said, it doesn't
have to be all or nothing, itjust volunteering at a place
that makes you happy.
Again, I think it goes back tothen.
That's going to trickle through, like your friend, like it
trickles through the rest ofyour life.
(23:05):
You don't have to like all of asudden I'm 40 and I'm not going
to be a vet.
But finding those littlemoments of joy and then doing
those little moments of joydoesn't mean you have to do a
complete 180 to change your lifeand make things better Maybe 40
hours of thought a week, itwouldn't be your joy anymore, I
(23:26):
mean you know everybody's alwaysheard the sign to make your
hubby your job Right.
Speaker 6 (23:31):
You know I don't agree with that statement, but I
obviously don't either, but thefilm you know we're very lucky
and we're in, and that's true.
We're very lucky that we allget to do what we love.
But I can imagine, you know,people who are 40 hours a week
doing a job that they don'tparticularly love, but count
forward Right, and especially, Ithink, people who are paid very
well for a job they don't love.
Speaker 4 (23:50):
It's even harder to feed, right, I mean just like
this friend so hard.
Speaker 6 (23:54):
But it is just finding you don't have to do
what you love 40 hours a week,you just have to do it.
Yeah, at some point in themovie.
Speaker 5 (24:00):
But I do.
I wonder if there's like atrend, because when I used to
teach a master's class, I hadtwo attorneys that came into the
class and they were in their60s.
But they were like we are happyat our career, we want to go
and pursue a new career.
And then last week I did interninterviews the people who are
in the master's program who wantto come and interview at my
practice and it was amazingthere were so many that had had
(24:22):
two and three previous careers.
We're kind of middle age some ofthem younger, but it wasn't
just these kids who are rightout of undergrad going to
masters.
It was really a lot ofdiversity and a lot of people
who were kind of like older andsaying, like I did marketing
before, I did.
You know, whatever I did before, it wasn't really happy and I
just saved up money to be ableto go back to school and do what
(24:45):
I want to do.
So I don't think you're evertoo old, but I do.
I like your point aboutvolunteering and get involved
with the things that you reallyvalue.
Speaker 3 (24:52):
Yeah, and I tell people all the time look, you
know, we fall into those pitsand we crash and burn sometimes.
Sometimes we do it to ourselves, sometimes it gets done to us
like the pandemic.
I mean, we didn't see thatcoming.
I think a lot of people lookedaround at their lives and
thought, oh my gosh, is this it?
Yeah, I had people reach out tome saying Steve, I want to do
(25:14):
something else.
They say we're coming back tothe office soon.
I don't want to go back to that.
And it's during the 30s, 40s,50s, even early 60s, saying I
want more out of life than this.
And it doesn't mean I suggesteda job.
I would never do that, thatwould be reckless on my part.
But we start talking hobbiesand the passions and the
interest and just bring life tothemselves every day, share
(25:37):
themselves on in the mirrorfirst thing in the morning.
That's something I learned fromMel Robbins, a speaker who I
absolutely adore.
Five beeps and my alarm goesoff because Tina bought me a
clock that doesn't have a snoozebutton.
Speaker 4 (25:46):
I said I'd better get it Okay.
Well, that is not a nice tip.
I'm just going to tell you thatright now, for my husband
listening to this, because Istart my snooze button at 5.45
in the morning and I comerolling out about 6.20.
So please, if Michael'slistening do not ever think
about getting me a clock with asnooze button, Exactly.
So all right, carry on.
Speaker 3 (26:08):
I'm logged in on fire First thing in the morning,
5.05 AM, alarm off in five.
I count five, four, three, two,one.
Both feet are on the floor.
I get up and I walk into thebathroom, turn on the light.
I'm smiling and I'm high-fivingthe mirror.
I said we're going to make agood day happen.
And then I go rock my workoutfor 90 minutes to two hours and
then start my day.
(26:28):
All because I get up in themorning and I choose that I'm
going to have a good day.
And then I put the actionsfollow.
Speaker 6 (26:35):
I do not know one Irish person who will be awake
at 5.00 in the morning.
Speaker 4 (26:39):
I just know that it takes me I get 35, 40 minutes to
get my brain going on themorning stretch.
Speaker 6 (26:45):
But I'm not like that .
Speaker 5 (26:47):
That's the only thing that you remember the whole get
up and get into the sun andthen do your exercise.
Speaker 4 (26:53):
I do think, getting up with a positive attitude,
even if it's 30 minutes afteryour alarm goes off.
I think that setting yourintentions for the day really
does matter, and I didn'trealize that when I was younger,
and I know that's kind of likewhat you're basis, isn't.
It's so true if you set yourattentions to positive, I feel
(27:14):
like throughout the day, youwill attract positive.
If you get up and,unfortunately, set your
intentions to negative, you havea better chance of then
attracting negative.
That's all you'll see all day.
Speaker 5 (27:26):
It's just really negative.
Speaker 4 (27:27):
I know it's a mindset and I know it's hard I don't
say it flippantly at all but itis really true.
When you set those intentionsin the right direction, you can
manifest more positivity or tryto.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
It all comes down to what you're noticing.
I mean, what you set for theintention is going to set your
energy.
It's going to set your filters,your ears, your eyes, your
heart, your everything.
Your brain is going to be awareof that.
Speaker 4 (27:52):
It's the right attitude.
Speaker 3 (27:53):
How I start.
Every day after my workout,I'll go upstairs and I'll write
in my gratitude journal.
My gratitude journal is mythree favorite moments from the
previous day, so I'm backloading and I'm writing them
down.
To start today, it's almostlike re-stoking a positive
that's great.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
You know the one example you gave about the
person you were talking towanting to become a vet and then
they couldn't be around animalsbecause their apartment didn't
allow pets.
I think it's really easy to getone little roadblock and it's
easier for us to just stop andsay, well, I can't have pets,
can't be around animals, versustrying to come up with solutions
.
Well, I can't have animals inmy house, but, as you said, you
know, going to volunteer in ananimal shelter, so what would
(28:29):
you say would be the greatestthing we can do for our future
self, to kind of be motivatedand move towards that positive
direction.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
If you think of it like an old wooden roller
coaster, because so many people,when I say imagine your best
future self, they getoverwhelmed and they just stop
and they go.
Well, I guess this isn't toobad.
I always say look, think of itlike an old wooden roller
coaster.
Your best self is at the top ofthat first hill.
You might be at the parking lotlevel right now and that's okay
, but you know where you are,you know where you want to be.
(29:00):
So think like an old woodenroller coaster.
You got to go, click, click,click, click, even if you start
at the end and work backwards.
Well, if I have that, I musthave done this, must have done
this, must have met.
This person must have learnedthis, must have listened to this
podcast, read this bookconnected with this group.
Think of all the little stepsyou have to take, and when you
think about it that way, it'snot as overwhelming, because you
(29:22):
can't start halfway, you can'tskip any steps.
You have to sit there and doall the little steps.
Now here's the cool part aboutit After a while, when you do
the steps, you look over yourshoulder and you realize you're
actually getting closer and youget more excited and you're
getting more confident.
And when you're more confidentin your daily actions, you can
build momentum.
(29:42):
When you build momentum andkeep doing it consistently,
you'll hardwire better habits.
So you're not going to be thatsame person you were at the park
and lot level.
You're getting bolder, gettingstronger and the closer you get
when you get over the top andyou do the last thing, it took
to get there.
You look all the way back downand you say I made it.
And then you go over the topand you scream your brains out
(30:03):
because it's a ride you can'tstop.
You just celebrate, scream, cry, whatever you want to do, grip
for dear life.
When you get to the end, if youreally enjoyed that ride, it's
the first thing you want to do.
Get on again when you'veachieved a goal and when you're
setting your next goal andyou're back in line, I want you
to look around and see anybodyaround you who also wants to set
(30:25):
a goal but looks really nervous, like it's their first time.
Say hey, I just had thisamazing ride.
Is this all new to you?
Yeah, why don't you come sitnext to me?
I'll tell you a couple ofstories on the way up.
I'm going to show you how thisworks, so you don't get scared
and climb out and walk all theway back down the walk machine.
We all get to be coaches.
Speaker 4 (30:43):
You're absolutely right.
When you create that visual,then it can take root and we can
all find little nuggets thatare relevant to our life or our
goals.
You just have to imagine it andyou've got to put that visual
in your mind.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
I love the motivational firewood and I just
love your outlook.
I love the idea of not hittingthe snooze and laying there
thinking about that I don't wantto get up and instead jumping
up and making a great day.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
Hey now there's another one.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
Yes, you don't want to do that, but I think that's
great, because the longer youlay there, the more you can
think about how early it is andyou don't want to get up.
You've been just a delight.
We're so glad to have had youon here and we'll definitely
include your information.
We put out this podcast so ourguests can get some of that
motivational firewood too.
Speaker 3 (31:25):
My pleasure.
Thank you so much.
I've loved this.
It went by so fast.
I mean, it was awesome.
Speaker 4 (31:30):
That's what positive talk does, yes, yes yes, so keep
doing what you're doing.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
Thank, you so much, Steve.
Have a great night.
Speaker 3 (31:37):
Take care.
Bye-bye, thank you.
Speaker 6 (31:40):
My spirit of positive people for change.
Speaker 2 (31:42):
Here it is.
I mean, I think that I think,yeah, just I don't know, he
makes you want to be happy andbe positive, and I think, when
you surround yourself withpeople like that, I think that
that just you can't help it.
Be positive, it's not necessary.
Speaker 4 (31:55):
You don't have to change the wheel Like you just
again set your intentions.
If you said it, that you aregoing to be positive, then you
will more than likely attractpositive.
Not all the time, it's not, youknow, but it's so true If you
wake up in the morning.
And I know people havedifferent circumstances and,
like I said, this is life ispeaks and valleys, like there's.
(32:17):
We've all had triumphs andtrials, but when you can find
kindness, you can findpositivity.
And even the littlest thing,like that little ice, he said
with the heart yeah, I mean,there's been days that you know
things have not gone great orwhatever, and like I'll see a
Cardinal and that's kind of likemy spirit.
Speaker 6 (32:36):
Oh.
Speaker 4 (32:37):
And it makes me pause .
I'd be like, okay, ashley, getit together.
Yeah, you know, things are okay, things are good.
So just finding those littlemoments, I have been in
perspective too.
Yes, like it makes you stop andbe like wait, what are you
doing?
Speaker 5 (32:55):
Right, that's really important.
We can all go down the rabbithole super fast.
Absolutely yeah.
Speaker 4 (33:00):
Because I think that's what the world is more
now geared towards.
It's like let 's just all stayin the rabbit hole yeah.
And so much better with therainbows and the unicorns.
Speaker 6 (33:09):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
And the leprechauns.
Speaker 6 (33:11):
And the leprechauns.
I'm a Cardinal.
I'm like thinking a little way.
He says what am I?
What's my spirit?
I'm a spirit, I'm a.
It's definitely a chimpanzee.
Speaker 5 (33:20):
Really, I just do say why.
Speaker 6 (33:22):
I'm hairy Okay.
Speaker 5 (33:24):
They're hairy.
Speaker 6 (33:26):
And I just they're smart, they're funny and they're
cuddly.
Speaker 4 (33:29):
They're cuddly, they have sense of humor, they do
crazy things.
Speaker 6 (33:33):
They hop on people, I hop on people.
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 4 (33:37):
Lisa's fans are going to be like I'm sorry, what now?
Can we clarify?
Speaker 5 (33:40):
that?
Can we clarify that?
Speaker 4 (33:41):
Oh my God, they're like okay, lisa's next master
class we want to know about that.
Speaker 6 (33:45):
Wouldn't that be a king room?
To be hairy like a chimpanzee.
Speaker 5 (33:49):
He has, like, turned them all off anyway, I was like
when they came to leave it, Ihop on people.
I was like, let's talk aboutthis, lisa, I think that's going
to be the next one.
Speaker 4 (33:57):
I hop on people We'll get t-shirts Yay.
Speaker 6 (34:01):
You're so regal with your, like, you know, with your-
.
Speaker 4 (34:04):
We like Lisa's spirit animal, a chimpanzee with Harry
, it likes to jump on you.
Speaker 6 (34:09):
I play with your feet and stuff.
Oh my.
Speaker 4 (34:11):
God, oh, why am I starting to see only fans,
exactly?
Speaker 5 (34:16):
As a chimpanzee here she is Cheers to our spirit
animals.
Speaker 4 (34:21):
Cheers to spirit animals.
Cardinal and a chimpanzee.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Thank you for joining the ladies of the Middle Ages
podcast as they journey throughthe ups and downs of this not
young but definitely not oldseason of life.
To hear past episodes or makesuggestions for future episodes,
visit wwwmiddleagishcom.
That's wwwmiddleagishcom.
(34:50):
You can follow along on socialmedia at middleagish.
Also, if you have a moment toleave a review rate and
subscribe.
That helps others find the showand we greatly appreciate it.
Once again, thank you so muchfor joining us and we'll catch
you in the next episode of theMiddle Ages podcast.
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