November 6, 2024 • 43 mins
What happens when the joys and challenges of middle age collide with summer adventures? We share the laughs and heartfelt moments of our post-summer reunion, swapping stories of sleep schedules and life updates. From Trisha's bittersweet farewell to her son heading off to the Air Force Academy to Pam's delight in her daughter's spirited cheering at UGA, our anecdotes paint a vivid picture of life's transitions.
Ever wondered why sorority rush feels like a pressure cooker compared to fraternity recruitment? We unpack the intense expectations that young women face, driven by social media and parental pressures. It’s a conversation that questions the sustainability of these standards and the materialistic culture it fosters. We dive deep into the implications for mental health, urging a shift towards valuing inner happiness over superficial metrics, and share insights on how this mindset could lead to a more fulfilling life.
As the episode progresses, we tackle themes of entitlement and politics with a touch of humor and candidness. Our light-hearted musings on running for president transition into a poignant reflection on September 11, 2001. We share personal stories of that day, honoring the heroism and unity that emerged from the tragedy. These memories serve as a reminder of the profound impact of courage and compassion, inspiring us to seek understanding and unity in today's divided world. Join us for a heartfelt exploration of life’s complexities and the bonds that hold us together.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to the Middle Age-ish Podcast, authentically
and unapologetically keeping itreal, discussing all things
Middle Age-ish, a time whenmetabolism slows and confidence
grows.
Join fashion and fitnessentrepreneur Ashley Badowski,
former Celtic woman and founderof the Lisa Kelly Voice Academy,
lisa Kelly licensedpsychologist and mental health
(00:24):
expert, dr Pam Wright, andhighly sought after cosmetic
injector and board certifiednurse practitioner, trisha
Kennedy Roman.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Join your hosts on the journey of Middle Age-ish.
Hello everyone and welcome backto Middle Age-ish.
I'm Trisha Kennedy, roman andI'm joined with my co-host, lisa
Kelly, dr Pam Wright and AshleyBadowski, and we are excited to
be back.
It's been a little bit.
We are back.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Back.
I know what's that song BackAgain.
Oh, we do need some music, thatwould be fun, we do.
Yeah, you can, but it's been afun summer, but I've missed you
guys.
Speaker 5 (01:02):
I know I've missed this.
I know I've forgotten how to dothis.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
That is true, like today, I got thrown off, like,
oh, I got stuff to do tonight.
Speaker 4 (01:12):
I'm going to be somewhere.
Speaker 5 (01:12):
You must have been in bed really early last night to
prepare for your late night,okay.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
First of all, I'm in bed early every night.
I wake up to 55,000 textmessages from you guys.
I'm like good morning.
Speaker 4 (01:24):
She's like a day late , that was good.
Yes, I agree.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
Yes, fabulous.
Heart, heart, heart, heart,heart, oh my God.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
I know what text I'm going to be said to do that?
Ashley's morning text is whenI'm going to bed.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Yeah, yeah, like it'll be about what?
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Five, 45, six o'clock I five, six o'clock, I'll start
responding yeah, yeah, you'repretty much done at seven.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
We're the night owls, for sure, oh my God yeah.
Well, at least I'll D and D,unless it's something important.
Speaker 5 (01:53):
Yeah, I'd be asleep by 10 ish.
Really yeah, yeah, 10, 30 ish,yeah, unless there's a really
good Netflix.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
I'm in like the most amazing REM sleep at 10 AMm or
10 pm.
I'm like so deep into dreams Icould?
Speaker 5 (02:04):
I actually could do that.
If I didn't work so late, Icould do that.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
I'd be asleep, and that's valid yeah.
Speaker 5 (02:10):
But I need to wind down.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
I'm a night owl, that's when my creative brain
starts working.
Speaker 4 (02:15):
That's when I do morning stuff, like 1 am I'm
like oh, oh, my God, I'm a goodnoon to two.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
I'm not a morning person and I'm not a night
person, unless I'm on a girl'strip, yeah.
And then you're a night person,then you can switch it up.
Then I might switch it up alittle bit.
Speaker 5 (02:31):
Oh no, I still go to bed at 10.
Do you really?
Yeah, yeah, I'm the worst.
I leave Scott to entertain.
I'm like, okay, peace out,cinderella.
I have to be asleep beforemidnight.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
Okay, that's interesting, I'm going to do it
too.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
We're the night owls I used to try not to text you
guys super late, but I knowyou're all on, do Not Disturb
anyway.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
I was like it doesn't matter, I don't hear anything,
I'm just like I'm out.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
I'm so out.
Yeah, you probably do wake upto some serious text tosses
there.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
I know I mean, yeah, I'm just like okay, girls, I
miss so much.
I know I do feel like I missedout, but I was in dreamland.
Did you all have a good summer?
Yes, it just went by so fast.
I know I mean, and you guyshave so much to like, kind of
touch base and give us info.
I mean I've been an emptynester for a while.
(03:22):
So to me it was a fabuloussummer, but it was kind of just
status quo for the Badoskis forsure, but you two, Trisha and
Pam, let's, I mean, you guys hadsome big stuff going on.
We did.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Corbin went off to the Air Force Academy, so that
was exciting.
My first baby leaving the house, but he's super happy and
loving it and I'm very proud ofhim.
He looks so cute in a uniform.
My goodness, he looks cute in auniform.
He does look cute, he looks sohappy.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
I know, and that's like the biggest thing, yes,
super happy.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
But that was definitely.
I'm proud of him, but that wasa big change, oh my God, the
first one going.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
Yeah, that is hard.
Yeah, that's hard on a mama'sheart for sure Mine keep coming
back.
Speaker 4 (04:12):
They do not, they do, oh my goodness, I don't think
you ever really empty nest,right?
No?
Speaker 5 (04:19):
I am Well, yeah, your boys are.
Yeah, your boys are gong-gong.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Ashley close that.
Yes, You're out.
Yeah, Like.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
I know like no, my boys, yeah, Steven's in Kansas
city, Treson, Birmingham, andit's been that way for five
years.
Speaker 5 (04:36):
Oh, so you're truly emptiness.
Like I'm a truly I mean, I justkeep adopting more deer.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Oh sweet which.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
I know that sounds crazy, but like, seriously like.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
I have a deer family and my dogs, my husband is like
a pet.
We had that conversation thatif I buy any more, I mean I go
through like 300 pounds of deercorn a week.
That's so sweet though, butyeah no, I'm an empty, empty,
empty nester.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
So Pam tell us about yours.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
Oh my gosh, I'm never going to empty nest because now
my daughter cheers at UGA, sowe're going to all the away
games and the home games.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
Not all of them, but most of them, so fun.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
And then my son won male best dancer.
So, he's going to travel thecountry and world somewhat this
year, so we'll be traveling backand forth and he gets to go
assist all these greatchoreographers and like, do his
solo and start working on hiscareer as a dancer.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
It just truly is so amazing.
Like seriously, it's a funchapter of life.
Speaker 4 (05:34):
But then I think about where you are and where
you are.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
It's like once they're like done with school
and done with everything, likeyou really are an empty duster,
yeah, but then you just travelwith your hubby and you go to
like fun and exciting placesLike that's what my kids are
like, constantly telling us,Like I cannot believe that you
and dad are off this place andthat place and I mean hello.
So it really is.
Speaker 4 (05:55):
It's a fun a travel.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
Yeah, it's a fun chapter to reconnect, cause
we've talked about that so manytimes that, like, parenting is
not easy, marriage and parentingis not easy, yeah, and so like
to kind of like, have and seeyour kids be super successful
and go on and do what they'remeant to do in their life
journey and then reconnectingwith your spouse.
(06:18):
I mean it does.
It's like it's a gift, to behonest, because otherwise you
would be super sad.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
Because they are our babies and they were given to us
and everything.
Speaker 4 (06:31):
So when you get to kind of reconnect, so it's fun,
you get to just so if you becomea grandparent, will you be more
at home and like with agrandkid, probably?
Speaker 3 (06:40):
I mean, I think, so, but I also think that I would
still cause.
I mean, michael and I actuallyhave that conversation, probably
a couple of months ago, and no,my, not that I'm aware of.
(07:08):
I'm about to be a grandmother,but I have no idea.
I like Coco.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
I can see you being a Coco.
I love Coco.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
And then my nieces call me Ashy, so I'm thinking
like maybe this, but I also havelearned that grandchildren
actually pick your name.
Speaker 5 (07:25):
They do, that's true, yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
So yeah, so I don't, I don't, but please, please
don't be granny, but I mean ifit is granny, I will try and be
the best granny on the planet,but I'm really.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
I think you should be Granny Ashley.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
Auntie, auntie.
Speaker 4 (07:40):
Ashley Auntie, ashley Auntie, ashley.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
I know that's right, Because I mean, how can I be a
grandmother when I'm 35?
Exactly.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
That just doesn't make sense.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
Like turning 28, you're not a grandmother, I mean
that's how I tell people I'mlike my kids are 27 and 24.
I mean, that's just so weirdbecause I'm 32.
I don't know how that happened.
Speaker 4 (07:57):
You had kids at 12.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
I know I mean yeah, so I'm going to be the aunt
forever.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
If anyone's wondering if Santa Claus is coming to
town, that's just Ashley.
Speaker 5 (08:09):
Oh, I'm sorry your jingle jangling.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
It's like a little tambourine Every time you talk,
so when Ash is talking, she'sgot accompaniment of her
tambourine.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
Okay, but you can tell that I haven't been here in
a very long time because I knewthis back before the rules of
Santa, you need to give a goodjingle.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
so they're aware that's a lot, that's a lot.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
There's some like meditation beads.
Speaker 4 (08:37):
Ashley, should we put you on the outfit of the day at
Alabama sororities?
Speaker 3 (08:44):
I would love that, because you know, I love fashion
, however, so I've gone down therabbit hole.
I think I've talked about reelsbefore I'm not very into social
media and.
But I went down the rabbit holeof watching this reel of the
outfit of the day at thesesororities and how they would
have this little thing and theywould dissect everything that
(09:07):
they were wearing and I mean, ohmy Lord, like I don't know if I
could afford all of that.
Speaker 4 (09:15):
That's when you realize there's an 18 year old
with a better wardrobe than you.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
I mean seriously like I had to like kind of like
rethink things, because I mean Ifeel like I'm fairly successful
and I love fashion.
But I'm like when they becausethey would do like a little
price point, like okay, so thiswas my Cartier bracelet and my
golden goose shoes and my LouisVuitton purse, and they would do
(09:40):
it and I'm like that's $2,300for one outfit.
Speaker 5 (09:46):
That's crazy.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
For one, not even a full day, I don't think it's for
one session, and I mean Godlove whatever their parents do.
But that's insane Even for me,and I love fashion there's
absolutely no way.
So I think what the girls areput through with this sorority
(10:07):
and rush and I mean.
I know it makes people happyand I think that's so fantastic
and you gotta go do you.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
But that's some crazy expectations for an 18 year old
to be honest, that's when I'mreally happy to be a boy mom oh,
I am so happy to be a boy momso is there nothing like that in
a fraternity?
Speaker 5 (10:25):
it's not like no there nothing like that in a
fraternity?
It's not like no.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Well, I haven't experienced a fraternity thing
yet, because we're obviouslygoing to Air Force Academy.
But from patients and peopleI've talked to whose kids have
gone and joined a fraternity,they're like they went to a
fraternity house played somepool with them.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
The boys are in football.
So that was their kind offraternity.
Speaker 4 (10:43):
As I understand it, it's not even like a formal
thing, like the rush thing.
Sorry, like it's a formal forthese days.
And I think for thefraternities a lot of times it's
just like they have some gettogethers over the summer and if
you get together and they likeyou, then they're like you go
into the fall and they're like,oh, we're already full, we
already have enough people.
So before even people from outof state or whatever get there,
(11:05):
they're already completelybooked with their guys, Cause
it's not a formal process.
That's what.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
I understand Like it just is absolutely insanity.
Speaker 5 (11:13):
And who puts like all this pressure again, like we're
saying it's harder for thegirls, but who's like?
Who's driving this pressure?
Is it like competition from thegirls trying to get into the
sorority or is it the sororityitself going?
This is what we want.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
I think it's a combination of both.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
It's a mixed, but you'd be surprised how many
parents are like I want my childto be this, this or this, and
I'm going to be upset if they'renot.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
So it's the same yeah .
Speaker 5 (11:46):
It's like psychologically there's some
parental pressure as well,because I've seen, like our
local pages or friends that Iknow, and they're always saying
do I have any friends here here,will you?
Is it?
What is it?
What's the?
Speaker 2 (11:53):
right letter a recommendation for yeah.
Speaker 5 (11:56):
And then everybody jumps in and goes oh yeah, well,
I can write one for here.
And I can write well, my god,this is nuts this is quite crazy
from what I.
Speaker 4 (12:03):
That doesn't even hold as much weight as it used
to.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
I don't think it does .
Some don't even accept itanymore.
Speaker 5 (12:09):
It's about popular girls, Is it just?
Speaker 2 (12:11):
well, I mean it's just.
Or if you're Insta-famousapparently.
Speaker 5 (12:15):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
Social media famous.
I think that that's like athing now with everything.
I think yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5 (12:22):
Life now with jobs, and stuff.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
I just feel like it's just another thing that these
kids it's just setting them upfor failure.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Because life is not like that.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
If you've got an 18-year-old who's going to have
an entire outfit, from theirearrings to their bracelets, to
their watch, to their shoes,purse $2,300 for the whole.
Get up, you're 18.
What is your expectation whenyou get out of school and you're
22?
Speaker 4 (12:49):
But it's so weird, like, even like in the, in the
dance world, like even in otherfields.
I'll just say that you'll seepeople, and they've got, they
buy followers, right, so they'vegot two point 1.2 million
followers.
Yes, so they buy followers andthen you look at their reels or
their likes, so they'll have,like you know, I'm just gonna
(13:10):
make this up 800,000 followersand then you look at their reel
and they've got like 200 likesand you're kind of like but you
can buy it, like you can buy theblue check now next to your
name.
You can buy followers.
I mean, you can buy anything.
And so it's like, and I'veknown parents I will say this,
I've known parents who havebought followers for their kids
(13:33):
to make them look like they havemore clout, prestige, whatever,
because they think people lookfor that.
But I'm like but here's thething.
But then you go and you've got,even if you don't show cause
now you can show how many peoplelike your stuff and are not
show, but regardless like youcan go on and count it number
one, but if you've got eightcomments and like 800,000
(13:53):
followers, then you know there'slike a.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
It's just a not realistic world.
Speaker 4 (13:58):
And I just feel like you can buy anything.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
And I and I know I mean growing up, when we did I
mean, obviously parents wantedyou to dress nice and they you
know whatever.
But it's just to such anextreme, to this point, that,
again, how do you create a lifeoutside of mom and dad that
supports that type of money?
Right, and it's not realistic.
(14:21):
It's not realistic and I justwhat does it teach them, though?
It teaches them that somethingfalse matters, when that
actually they'll learn a reallyhard lesson when they realize
that that's not the that's notthe case.
Speaker 5 (14:35):
Do people like that, though, ever learn the lesson,
do they not just?
Do you not feel that kind ofmoney finds money and money
makes more money Like?
It's very rare that thosepeople fall flat on their face,
but it's the ordinary jazz hopeswho are trying to live up to it
.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
I feel like they might keep the facade up.
But I mean, I think we've alllearned in our lives that money
doesn't bring happiness.
And if it, if you don't find itfrom within, and if you don't
fall on your face and have tocrawl back up and learn that
lesson, then who actually areyou as a person?
Speaker 2 (15:12):
Yeah, I agree, and so more depression and everything,
yeah, so I just I mean and andand.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
maybe they just go through life Like you can have
great cars and you can have abeautiful home and you can have
all of this stuff.
But I mean, if it's not comingfrom within, but then that's sad
too, cause then that's so manypeople running around that
you're like, oh my God.
But again I don't know how thatkind of stuff, with the rush
and all of that, is sustainablein setting your child up for
(15:39):
success.
I mean you can have nice things, but you have to appreciate it.
You don't have to.
Speaker 4 (15:46):
But don't you think that's why so many people end up
back at home?
Speaker 3 (15:50):
Well, yeah, when they're 30 and 35.
Think about what kind of jobyou would have to have if you
were so conditioned to have tohave the latest handbag all like
all and again.
I love fashion, but you alsocan do it on a really great
budget and still look amazingand people don't know what you
(16:11):
spent.
I just don't know.
I mean, it's a very smallpercentage where that is
sustainable and otherwise you'rejust miserable because you
don't have it.
And you're constantly judgingyourself based on the next door
neighbor or the pretty housewifein the neighborhood.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
There's always something better, always,
there's always someone prettier.
There's always someone richerthere's always someone funnier,
absolutely, you have to.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
And again, that's easy for us to say at our age,
but I do look at those girls.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
I don't know.
Actually you're pretty funny.
Yes, you might be a top tier,I'm just an idiot, but I do look
at those girls.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
I don't know, Ashley, you're pretty funny.
You might be a top tier.
I'm just an idiot, but I do.
I looked at all of those reelsand I it actually made me sad.
It makes me sad.
It makes me really sad, Cause Ijust know what's coming.
Like that's the thing I know,what's coming for the majority
of those girls, and it really itis sad.
Speaker 5 (17:04):
And social media and reality TV and all those kind of
things just don't help theyjust don't help.
Speaker 3 (17:12):
It makes the world look like you should be
Cinderella.
Yeah, and that's not reality,even reality TV.
We all know that.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
I love it.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
I mean I just watched the Housewives of Dubai reunion
show Amazing.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Well, I think it even gives us an unrealistic
expectation of like how you haveto work hard to get things to,
or that you don't have to workhard, Even with what I do.
I mean, there's there's so manypeople on Instagram now, you
know, showing like their, theirGucci bags, stuff like that, and
like there's people who want todo what we do and think you
just you start it and you'rethere and you have to work hard
and you can't.
You can't just all of a suddenbe at that level without working
(17:48):
hard.
It's, that's not sustainableand you gotta.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
And I mean I.
I truly feel like the harderyou work, the more that you
appreciate it.
If you're given something, it'seasy and I just so.
It just makes me sad.
Speaker 4 (18:05):
And again, that's coming from someone who adores
fashion and but I never wentthrough college and thought when
I graduate I'm going to bewhere my parents are and.
I don't think my parents wereanywhere.
Great, but I didn't expect togo into like a mansion or
whatever.
I just wanted to be in a onebedroom apartment struggling to
make rent and figuring it out.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
I didn't want to like I wanted to become more
successful than my parents,because, I mean, I had grown up
that each generation wanted thenext generation to be more
successful.
Right, but I didn't expect itat 25.
Right, and again you.
Speaker 4 (18:41):
Just I think you see a lot of that.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
No, you do, Cause I just think again.
It goes back to what Lisa said.
Like the social media andeverything is made to look
picture perfect, women arepitted against women whether
you're 18, 16, 25, 35, 55,doesn't matter.
We're pitted against each otheron who is better and, at the
(19:04):
end of the day, that's the stuffthat actually doesn't matter.
No, which is just so crazy.
So, anyway, yeah, I know mybracelets.
I'm sorry, I probably need totake them off, don't I?
You're like we know when you'retalking.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
It's a cute little jingle.
When they hear that, they knowyou're getting really emotional.
Speaker 5 (19:23):
Nobody understands how animated I am, but now you
can tell, because I'm like andthis, oh, yeah, it's, yeah, it's
a sad, it's a sad state ofaffairs, and I think, because
everything is so instant, yes,these days as well.
You see it, you want it, I loveit, I got it yeah, you just go,
(19:43):
you go on and buy it.
I'm totally guilty of it myself, but still, I would not, I
wouldn't be guilty of kind ofmaking a golden goose purchase
once a week, like I just, I justcan't justify that.
And I think the older you get,maybe it's because they have
nothing else to spend theirmoney on, but I'm assuming
because when they're in collegemaybe they're not eating, I
don't know, but there'sdefinitely wine.
I mean, like, how are youaffording your wine?
Speaker 3 (20:04):
I mean again, I think my parents were very, very
generous.
Nothing to this extent.
My parents were very gracious,yeah, but even they would have
been like what are you smoking?
Oh, yeah, no, and absolutelynot because I mean I wouldn't
have been able to afford it onmy own.
I mean, are you kidding me?
Speaker 4 (20:25):
But I remember I said I went to college at UGA and my
mom took out another job, soshe worked 40 hours and then she
worked a second job for likeliterally like 18 to 20 hours
and I would be at school andthink, okay, this is opposite.
Be at school and think, okay,this is opposite.
But my friends would want to goout to eat and I would not want
to go because I felt cause meand my brother like back to back
(20:47):
.
So we were in college togetherfor three years.
So he started, I started, we'rethree years together and then
it was after him and back thenit wasn't like hope and like
Zell and there was noscholarship.
You're having to pay the fullthing, and he went out of state
and so I just remember like Iwould just sit there and think
I'd feel so bad if my parents,like my mom, is working like 60
hours a week, yeah.
(21:07):
I'm not going to go and likespend more money on whatever
Papa John's or whatever it wasback in the day, but you just
feel bad.
Speaker 5 (21:18):
But it's like going from that to what you see now.
Speaker 4 (21:19):
It's a, it's a whole switch, right, yeah, it's
entitlement, and I would feelawful and I didn't go out much
Like I remember I'd be like,okay, I go out to dinner once
every two weeks or once a month,I'm good.
But I didn't want to spendtheir money because I knew how
hard they were working and Iappreciated it, of course.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
But that's Because you're a good human, pam, but
it's just different now it, it'sjust different.
Speaker 5 (21:43):
Now it's very different now.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
There is an expectation, it's just expected.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
I think entitlement is one of the deadly sins that's
just not spoken about.
It's so frustrating.
Yeah, to be honest.
Speaker 5 (21:48):
I really do.
Speaker 3 (21:49):
I mean, I think that entitlement is one of it should
be one of the sins.
Speaker 5 (21:52):
But you know, what really bugs me is that we've
created it in those kids.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
No, and that's true.
Speaker 5 (21:58):
We have done this and I often wonder how it's gotten
to that point.
Was it because of stories likeyours that you're like?
I don't want my kid to feel theway I felt when I was in
college, jean like how have wedone this?
How have we missed?
Speaker 3 (22:16):
it, I don't know, how do we put it back in the box?
Speaker 4 (22:18):
But I think that's so true because I've seen parents.
Lisa for president.
Speaker 3 (22:22):
I mean Lisa for president.
I'm telling you.
Speaker 5 (22:24):
It's the only thing we can agree on.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
It's the only president we can all agree on.
Can I please put me on thecabinet?
I don't have to be VP, but putme on the cabinet.
Speaker 4 (22:32):
I still isn't.
Come on, girl, let's run.
Speaker 5 (22:34):
I still think it would be a very good idea to
have one on each side of thepresident and the vice president
.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
I do agree, and I think the cabinet should be that
way too.
Speaker 5 (22:43):
Yeah, listen, we could go on forever about this.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
We're not going to go down that rabbit hole yet.
Speaker 4 (22:50):
I was like there's not enough wine to do the
drinking.
Not to Lisa, but it's aNovember 20th.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
I do feel like our podcast.
The week of November 5th needsto be at somebody's house and
we're going to spend the nightthe next day.
Everybody has to take offbecause it's going to be a play.
We're going to be like Fox newsand CNN.
Speaker 5 (23:08):
I didn't know what you were just going to say there
.
Speaker 4 (23:10):
Yes Me too, I was like is there going to be bleep,
lisa, bleep Actually?
Speaker 2 (23:15):
bleep.
There's going to be a lot ofbleeps, but that's what we've
said, because we had ourconversations actually before we
started recording that.
It's cool how we have differentviewpoints and we can talk
about that and get along andstill be friends.
Speaker 5 (23:27):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (23:28):
But that's the way it should be.
Speaker 5 (23:29):
That's just the way it should be.
How are people ever going tolearn from each other if we all
agree?
Speaker 3 (23:35):
on the same topic.
Speaker 5 (23:36):
Can you hear it?
Speaker 2 (23:41):
I'm sorry, Ashley is just like she's like a woman.
Are you ripping over?
Speaker 4 (23:46):
there Is that your hip.
What's going on, Ashley?
Speaker 1 (23:54):
I've lost weight.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
I'm feeling that this chair is about to like.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
I mean I have my my braces.
Speaker 3 (23:58):
At first I thought it was my bracelets and I'm like
oh my gosh, you're like thatwoman.
But then I move and I'm likewhy is this doing?
Oh, there you go.
Speaker 5 (24:09):
We're back, oh yes.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
You know, now we probably have our listeners all
going to vote on the wrong daybecause you were trying to tell
Lisa the wrong day to vote.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
That's right.
So the US is actually votingNovember 20th.
That's right.
So the US is actually votingNovember 20th.
So everybody out there thatmight be blue November 20th.
Speaker 5 (24:29):
Yes, yes, I know.
Yeah, you see, in Ireland wedon't discuss religion or
politics.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
Oh, I agree with that I think it is smart.
It's sad that that's how it is,though.
I don't know anything aboutpolitics in Ireland as a result,
Because then it talks about itand that is actually a valid
point, like we think it's safenow that that should be the
thing, because it's gotten soheated and it's like you hate
people just for, maybe, whattheir thoughts are or whatever,
(24:56):
and you don't actually grow Like.
I mean, lisa and I've hadamazing conversations and we do
differ on certain things, but itmakes me think like, okay, you
know what, that's actually avalid point and I just hate that
.
That's not where we are, likethat people have like moved away
from family and close friendsjust because of something like
(25:18):
that, and it's just, it is.
It's sad.
Yeah, so everybody vote onNovember 20th.
We are going to have ourselvesa rip roaring time on November
5th.
Yes, we're going to have thatbeep button ready Beep, beep.
Yes, we all know what myfavorite word is.
That would be one fabulousdrinking game, everybody.
Speaker 4 (25:39):
Yes, it would I just want people to be peaceful like
no, no drama, no shootings, noover political stuff let's just
all be calm and it is what it istogether, yeah like.
Speaker 5 (25:52):
I mean, it's not like we're living on a different
planet no, I was listening tothe thing this morning they were
talking about.
You know that 23 years ago waslike 9-11 and how America came
together after that and itdidn't matter anymore whether
you were red or blue it reallywas.
I was here for it.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
It was for something so tragic.
Speaker 5 (26:13):
It was the most amazing time to be here.
Speaker 3 (26:16):
It was actually so beautiful.
And I was really, really proudto be in America.
Speaker 5 (26:20):
American.
Oh wow, as you should be, itwas just, I was very proud it
was um.
Yeah, it was a very awful.
It was an awful, awful time,but also there was such a sense
of hope and camaraderie andtogetherness.
And where were you there?
I was in um, in Minneapolisdowntown Minneapolis.
Speaker 4 (26:37):
Okay, how long had you been?
I've been here a year, so whatwas your, what was your take on
that?
Speaker 5 (26:42):
honestly, it was.
Oh, it was so strange becauseit was a Monday, so when you're
touring, mondays are off.
So I was actually Scott hadgone to play golf.
This was pre cell phones aswell, so I can't remember how I
got in contact with him, butanyway, himself and his friend
Oisin, and a few of them hadgone off, probably a beeper.
Yeah, probably, and I was athome.
But machine and a few of themhad gone off, Probably a beeper?
(27:02):
Yeah, probably, and I was athome.
But I was awake.
I'm always awake early.
But Monday, traditionallyeverybody was still asleep and I
had called home and I wastalking to my dad on the phone.
And just as I was talking to mydad on the phone, my mom came
in from our neighbors and wentoh my God, planes crashed into
the Twin Towers and I didn'tknow.
So I turned on the TV CNN, Iforgive you, and I was.
I was watching it like livehappen.
(27:25):
Oh yeah, I was like, oh my God,I thought it was an accident.
Speaker 4 (27:27):
It was an accident.
No, he did the first one.
He thought that it was anaccident.
I did, yeah, I thought it wasjust total accident.
And they were.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
They were reporting it as an accident.
Speaker 5 (27:42):
So like every, and I could see the chopper.
There was a chopper flyingaround around and all of a
sudden, then obviously thesecond one hit and very quickly.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
I remember very quickly going.
Speaker 5 (27:46):
This is, this is an organized, this is.
This is not right.
Yeah, so I was, as I said, Iwas the only one awake, so I
phoned everybody.
I called everybody's room who Iknew was a New Yorker, so I
called, like Porrick and one ofthe tappers, and, because I knew
they were, they were all hadfamily in New York, right.
So we I actually ended upgetting up and going for a walk
and it was the weirdest thing,cause I was on the downtown in
Minneapolis and they actuallyclosed everything.
(28:07):
And Caribou coffee was rightbeside us and they were open.
Starbucks are closed, caribouwere still open and I went to
get a coffee and we literallyall everybody huddled into a
room and we just sat there andwatched everything all day.
But it was terrifying because,like you, didn't have the
information you have now, so youwere relying our parents and
our families didn't know whatwas going on and I want to say,
(28:28):
well, yeah, well, then there wasthe ones shut down around the
Pentagon and everything.
So it was just, it was horrific.
So I was a.
Speaker 4 (28:35):
I was a arise fellow, so I was in a fellowship at the
CDC and they sent everyone home.
But I actually had tickets thatweekend to go to New York and
they put it off to the followingweekend and I will never forget
we got on the plane and it wasan enormous plane and I promise
you there were like 18 of us onthat plane going to New York and
we went there, obviously likewe go.
(28:56):
We used to go every September,but we got there and we went and
it was like I mean, just a hazefog and just going, you
couldn't go so far.
Obviously you can't go on theMetro, like you can't go in that
area and people walking aroundand like that's when I first saw
masks.
Like people were like wearingmasks and like women pushing
their babies, and just thesadness.
And that's the first time Iremember because I go to New
(29:17):
York every year that it was justcompletely silent.
You didn't hear a taxi cab.
You didn't hear anybody, likeyou know, beep, nothing.
And then just walking aroundall the fire stations and seeing
like all the like flowers andmemorials and pictures and just
I mean this was like literally aweek after or a week and a half
after or 10 days, but it wasjust the most impactful, I think
(29:40):
time Just yeah, you'll neversee or experience that and I
didn't live there.
I'm not saying I was like theperson that was like there going
through it, but just to seethat even when you're used to
just going in, it's like youknow New York is loud and taxis
and everybody's, you know,blowing and mad at everybody.
But it was just so awful.
Speaker 5 (29:58):
It was such a strange .
Yeah, it was such a strangeplace.
Speaker 3 (30:02):
I had just dropped Stephen off at his little pre-K
at the church and Trey had justturned one, so we were up in the
playroom and they just came onFox News.
But to be honest, it wasactually a local station.
Speaker 5 (30:18):
Yeah, I think mine was too.
Speaker 3 (30:20):
It was a local station and I remember him and I
were playing and saw the firstone and I was like oh my gosh, I
mean cause they were sayingthat they thought that it was
like maybe like a private jet orlike a single in yeah.
And I was like, so sad Likesomeone maybe had a midair
emergency and oh my gosh.
And then the second, and youreally do.
It's kind of like how I alwaysremember my parents talking
(30:42):
about.
They knew exactly where theywere when jfk was assassinated
yeah, and like how they canremember it yeah, every day yeah
, and I remembered in thatmoment that that's what this is
like this is.
And then again, at least, likeyou were saying, like didn't
have social media, so we werewatching it in real time with
the local stations and Iremember seeing the, the people
(31:06):
that made the choice to jump,yeah, and I just, it just shakes
you because making your terroryeah, making those decisions and
then thinking and just whenthey came down and realizing how
many people were still thereand the first responders.
(31:27):
So it just yeah, it's horriblebecause everyone had a normal
day.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
They said goodbye.
Normal, they went to work,everything was normal.
Normal it's just crazy.
Speaker 3 (31:39):
I mean, how many days have we had that?
If you're going to get on aflight and you say, hey, I love
you.
Speaker 4 (31:43):
I'll text you when I land, or hey, I'll call you
during lunch and how many heroesI mean even that we didn't hear
about.
Like how many heroes were therethat day?
Speaker 3 (31:53):
Ordinary people that did extraordinary things and I
think that, that even in, likethe worst times, it does show
the immense power of the humanspirit.
Because, again, like I know, Iwas watching some interviews
this morning.
Was it Frank, is it Silverman?
From Tunnel to Tower, hisbrother.
(32:14):
Yeah, his brother is the one whowas the firefighter that they
started the whole thing and thatso many firefighters they
perished.
But they told their like Ithink his brother was like no,
you guys go back down.
And he stayed because one ofthe people in the stairwell
couldn't wasn't going to moveand he was going to stay, and so
just yeah, just the amazingthing that the human spirit can
(32:36):
do.
And again, it was such anabsolute horrific day, but to
see it's so amazing, yeah.
Speaker 4 (32:46):
And really the world and pull together yeah.
Speaker 3 (32:49):
Other than those who did it.
Speaker 4 (32:51):
Yeah, yeah, we've done it, but how?
Speaker 3 (32:53):
the world came together.
Speaker 4 (32:54):
We've done a tour three times, like with the kids,
but it's there's like a churchthere, like everything around it
, kind of you know what I'mtalking about?
Yeah, st, like a church there,like everything around it, kind
of you know what I'm talkingabout.
Speaker 5 (33:01):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, st Patrick Is St Patrick.
No, st Patrick was in Paul's.
Speaker 4 (33:04):
Yeah, it's right there, but everything kind of
was gone with that.
But, that was their like kind ofresource camp where they like
come with like water and thingslike that.
But they do this tour and likeevery time you go, but the
person gives that account andyou just go through that and you
just get chills every time, nomatter who your person is, it's
(33:27):
just like their account of it,even if they weren't there, it's
just and it's so quiet and it'sso just serene, but sad and
just emotional, like seeing thewater, it's just all the energy
that.
Yeah, but I never don't gettouched.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
Yeah, the memorial is just so.
Yeah, it's, it's amazing to seeagain busy new york.
But I mean, I just went to ayear ago, two years ago, quiet,
and it's, everyone is so quietaround it like there's just such
a, just a respect.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
Where were you?
Speaker 2 (33:53):
and I was in my get ready to go to work and I
remember watching on the newsand you know the first one I
thought this is horrible.
And then the second one I waslike oh my gosh, it was, this
was planned.
Yeah, Terrifying.
Speaker 5 (34:04):
One of my friends, her brother, was actually killed
in the Twin Towers and sheshared this this morning.
She shared his last text, so itwas on instant message, and at
like 8.39, he said we have aconference a little while she
said morning sounds good, I haveto go into a nine o'clock
meeting.
And then at 9.06, he said aplane.
(34:26):
No, someone said to him a planejust hit the World Trade Center
and he signed off at 9.11.
Speaker 2 (34:31):
And that was yeah, that's so goosebumps.
Speaker 3 (34:33):
Oh, it's, yeah, me too so sad.
Yeah, just those messages, theones from the plane that went
down in Pennsylvania.
Speaker 4 (34:39):
Oh, yeah, that was the worst.
Speaker 3 (34:41):
Like just so sad.
Speaker 4 (34:45):
I mean again, just Well, then and after that, so
many that were going, so wethought one was coming to the
CDC in Atlanta.
Right, they thought that onewas going to San Francisco, san
Diego, somewhere on the WestCoast, like it just was.
It was scary, yeah, it's a verytough time.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
There are definitely a lot of people that unsung
heroes oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
Anything about first responders.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
I mean, I have so much respect for them.
Speaker 4 (35:05):
And just you know running into danger to save
people.
You can never predict.
That, like I mean, you thinkabout all the like things that
you would encounter for firstresponders it would never be
that severe.
Speaker 3 (35:16):
Like this is it?
Yeah, and that's what they sayLike the families are the ones
is that when they realized I'mnot, I'm still going to go up,
but I'm not coming down.
Speaker 5 (35:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (35:29):
And just that they still did it.
Yeah they did, so it's amazing.
Speaker 2 (35:34):
Yep, when you talk about you being united and
everything and there was I meanthere's definitely a uniting
that we've not had in mylifetime.
That was the most united.
Speaker 1 (35:41):
I've ever felt Right uniting that we've not had in my
lifetime.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
That was the most united I've ever felt Right.
But you think about, like thequote, better together and I
wish that somehow we could dothat again and be better
together Because you know I waspicturing.
I'm an analogy person.
If you picture like two peoplepushing against a rock, right
we're not getting anywhere.
Right If all of us want to pushit a certain direction and we
all want to be safe.
We all want to be safe, we allwant to have a great economy, we
(36:03):
all want to have better livesright Right.
And safe and good for ourchildren and grandchildren.
If we all were pushing thatrock in the same direction, like
that would be, Honey, that'sthe thing.
Speaker 3 (36:14):
Common sense has left the building.
Because you're so right Like wecan't have a world where we all
believe the exact same.
No, because then you, like yousaid, you go nowhere, like you
don't grow if you all believethe exact same.
Speaker 4 (36:28):
But you have to find connection and unity.
Speaker 3 (36:30):
You do Well, you have to find respect, and I think
that's what's missing.
Speaker 5 (36:34):
I think that's fair yeah.
Speaker 3 (36:36):
I just so yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
Tricia, like it's just Because, like you said, it
about respect, like listening tothe other person's opinion.
Oh wait, yeah, that's a validpoint and, yeah, I think that
that's something we definitelylack.
And, again, even though wemight have differences in
beliefs, we all still, ingeneral, have the same end goals
globally.
Speaker 3 (36:56):
There might be different things, but we want a
better world.
We want a better world for ourkids, yeah, and for all kids.
Speaker 4 (37:02):
And just empathy of like I don't.
If I see someone hurting, I'mgoing to help that person.
I don't care, I don't care whatthey're wearing or who they are
Right.
What they look like, or theirrace or their gender or whatever
.
I'm going to.
You want to like help and dothat, versus like putting a
roadblock up for whatever reasonyeah, like it's.
Speaker 3 (37:18):
That's my problem.
I know we just need a heart.
Speaker 5 (37:23):
We do yes we do it's, kelly for.
Speaker 2 (37:24):
President.
Speaker 3 (37:24):
I've called her.
Speaker 2 (37:26):
Hey I.
Speaker 3 (37:27):
Lisa is going to run.
What cabinet position.
We got to think about that.
That could be so.
Speaker 2 (37:31):
What cabinet position could I have?
Is there a fashion?
I don't think there's a fashion.
Speaker 5 (37:34):
Oh, you could be my stylist.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
Oh, I could be.
You can be my psychologist, youcan just do my face Gotcha, all
right.
Speaker 3 (37:43):
I got enough, okay, so actually you really don't
need a cabinet, we're good, no.
Speaker 5 (37:46):
I don't need an advisor.
No, I might need a financial.
I'm not good at math, but thatdoesn't seem to matter.
Speaker 2 (37:53):
So is it too late to enter an independent?
I don't think so.
Speaker 5 (37:56):
I think you should, lads, I wasn't born here.
Hey, I probably know somebodythat can fake that.
Speaker 4 (38:03):
We can fake that.
Speaker 3 (38:05):
Lisa Kelly for president Independent.
I know that Seriously.
Speaker 5 (38:09):
That's the thing you know.
You can't actually be presidentif you're not born in the
country we can lie.
Speaker 4 (38:14):
Your accent might give you away a little bit.
Speaker 5 (38:16):
It might just have a little bit of a like oh my God,
okay, come on.
Speaker 3 (38:18):
I, oh my God, okay, come on.
Speaker 5 (38:20):
I don't do my best.
I can't do it on the spot.
I can only do it now.
Yes, you can.
No, no, I'm going to do thevocal fry.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
Oh, my God, you know what my favorite thing?
So Lisa's son, Jack, works withme and people all the time
speak oh, where are you from?
And I go Alabama.
Speaker 5 (38:39):
That's the funniest thing ever.
It makes me proud One of thetimes Jack and I were going down
to Savannah last year and westopped in Dublin, georgia, on
the way down, because it was aDunkin', so Jack wanted a
Dunkin', so we stopped, gottaget a Dunkin' so this poor girl
behind the desk, she's like ohmy God, I love your accents,
where are you from?
(38:59):
And Jack went we're from Dublin,and she just kind of went I
don't know you.
He was like no, dublin Irelandand she was like what I don't
know Dublin Ireland Is that inGeorgia?
Speaker 3 (39:10):
Yeah, I'm from the South side of your state.
Speaker 4 (39:12):
You're like Dublin Ireland, georgia.
Speaker 5 (39:15):
Yeah, yes, yes, yes, so yeah.
No, I can't be president thistime, maybe.
Speaker 4 (39:19):
Harry can.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
I would vote for you.
Thanks, I would vote for you,thanks.
Speaker 5 (39:23):
Thanks, I wouldn't want the job.
Speaker 3 (39:25):
I mean right now, who ?
Speaker 5 (39:26):
would no, thank you, no, thank you, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I don't want 49% of the peoplehating me.
Speaker 4 (39:34):
I'm not sad because you used to think it would be
such like people that used to beso respected had that job, and
now people are like I wouldnever want that job.
Speaker 5 (39:41):
Oh god, no, I'd never want that job the families I
would not be president ofanywhere.
Oh gosh, right now I mean it'sjust awful it is social media
has ruined us they'rescrutinized.
Speaker 2 (39:52):
So bad yeah you know I have to.
I have to call out my collegeroommate who was so much fun.
She was like I'm the rulefollower.
She was not, but angie wouldanytime we go out and she'd
always be like well, there goesmy chances of being president,
so that was pretty funny.
Speaker 3 (40:04):
Oh, I lost that chance many years ago.
Speaker 4 (40:06):
If that was before social media, you may still be
okay, Trisha.
Speaker 3 (40:09):
I mean, I do think all the Polaroid pictures went
up in flames for me, but theremight be a couple out there.
Speaker 5 (40:14):
Can you imagine, though, people digging into your
past?
Speaker 3 (40:17):
to find things.
Oh, I mean, I would almost doit just to watch the reaction of
their like.
Is this for real?
Speaker 4 (40:26):
I will just say like I was just somewhere that I was
and we were going over likerules or regulations.
And then it's like people go onsocial media and they get on
this like group chat, right.
It's just like about just thegroup of, like the students that
were there and they're alldoing everything and bashing
people that they were just toldnot to do.
And I'm like this is in writing.
(40:47):
This is like why would youwrite something that people just
told you not to do?
That could be like.
So when that person gets mad atyou, they're like hey, look
what so-and-so said and it'slike everywhere, why would you
do that?
Speaker 3 (41:00):
I know it's like when the D1 scholarships like
football I mean I know about thefootball, but like they do a
deep dive into that child'ssocial media and so many kids
have had scholarships yankedbecause of that exact thing that
they were told don't do thismake good choices, I mean cause,
(41:23):
if you put it out there, it isthere, there is no deleting it.
I mean there's like asuperficial delete, but like
it's life changing.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
You know, I wonder if we're more aware of that
because we didn't have it.
And then I was like Whoa, thisis like out there versus going
up with it, and we also wouldn'thave put it in a letter Like do
you know the way you were?
Speaker 3 (41:43):
so no but you were so aware.
No, you're so right.
No, that's what I'm saying.
Like when I would writesomething they'd be like you're
so great Because it was drilledinto your head, if you put it in
writing.
Speaker 5 (41:53):
Whereas I don't like.
I think my kids are prettysmart, but the amount of times
I've, are you stupid?
Why would you put that?
Speaker 3 (42:00):
in a text.
You're kind of looking at melike are you in there, why would
you put?
Speaker 5 (42:04):
like we talk about this all the time.
Why would you put that in atext?
Speaker 3 (42:08):
because you can never like it, never goes away, can't
take it, nope that screenshot.
No, no, okay ladies, cheers to,cheers to the 80s, but also
cheers to first responders wholost their lives God love them,
and here's to just a betterworld.
Speaker 5 (42:26):
Yes, ma'am.
Speaker 2 (42:26):
Cheers to that.
Speaker 1 (42:29):
Thank you for joining the ladies of the Middle
Age-ish podcast as they journeythrough the ups and downs of
this not young but definitelynot old season of life.
To hear past episodes or makesuggestions for future episodes,
visit wwwmiddleagishcom.
That's wwwmiddleageishcom.
(42:51):
You can follow along on socialmedia at Middle Age-ish.
Also, if you have a moment, toleave a review, rate and
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That helps others find the showand we greatly appreciate it.
Once again, thank you so muchfor joining us and we'll catch
you in the next episode of themiddle-aged ish podcast.
Welcome to the Middle Age-ish Podcast, authentically
and unapologetically keeping itreal, discussing all things
Middle Age-ish, a time whenmetabolism slows and confidence
grows.
Join fashion and fitnessentrepreneur Ashley Badowski,
former Celtic woman and founderof the Lisa Kelly Voice Academy,
lisa Kelly licensedpsychologist and mental health
(00:24):
expert, dr Pam Wright, andhighly sought after cosmetic
injector and board certifiednurse practitioner, trisha
Kennedy Roman.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Join your hosts on the journey of Middle Age-ish.
Hello everyone and welcome backto Middle Age-ish.
I'm Trisha Kennedy, roman andI'm joined with my co-host, lisa
Kelly, dr Pam Wright and AshleyBadowski, and we are excited to
be back.
It's been a little bit.
We are back.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Back.
I know what's that song BackAgain.
Oh, we do need some music, thatwould be fun, we do.
Yeah, you can, but it's been afun summer, but I've missed you
guys.
Speaker 5 (01:02):
I know I've missed this.
I know I've forgotten how to dothis.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
That is true, like today, I got thrown off, like,
oh, I got stuff to do tonight.
Speaker 4 (01:12):
I'm going to be somewhere.
Speaker 5 (01:12):
You must have been in bed really early last night to
prepare for your late night,okay.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
First of all, I'm in bed early every night.
I wake up to 55,000 textmessages from you guys.
I'm like good morning.
Speaker 4 (01:24):
She's like a day late , that was good.
Yes, I agree.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
Yes, fabulous.
Heart, heart, heart, heart,heart, oh my God.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
I know what text I'm going to be said to do that?
Ashley's morning text is whenI'm going to bed.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Yeah, yeah, like it'll be about what?
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Five, 45, six o'clock I five, six o'clock, I'll start
responding yeah, yeah, you'repretty much done at seven.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
We're the night owls, for sure, oh my God yeah.
Well, at least I'll D and D,unless it's something important.
Speaker 5 (01:53):
Yeah, I'd be asleep by 10 ish.
Really yeah, yeah, 10, 30 ish,yeah, unless there's a really
good Netflix.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
I'm in like the most amazing REM sleep at 10 AMm or
10 pm.
I'm like so deep into dreams Icould?
Speaker 5 (02:04):
I actually could do that.
If I didn't work so late, Icould do that.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
I'd be asleep, and that's valid yeah.
Speaker 5 (02:10):
But I need to wind down.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
I'm a night owl, that's when my creative brain
starts working.
Speaker 4 (02:15):
That's when I do morning stuff, like 1 am I'm
like oh, oh, my God, I'm a goodnoon to two.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
I'm not a morning person and I'm not a night
person, unless I'm on a girl'strip, yeah.
And then you're a night person,then you can switch it up.
Then I might switch it up alittle bit.
Speaker 5 (02:31):
Oh no, I still go to bed at 10.
Do you really?
Yeah, yeah, I'm the worst.
I leave Scott to entertain.
I'm like, okay, peace out,cinderella.
I have to be asleep beforemidnight.
Speaker 4 (02:42):
Okay, that's interesting, I'm going to do it
too.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
We're the night owls I used to try not to text you
guys super late, but I knowyou're all on, do Not Disturb
anyway.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
I was like it doesn't matter, I don't hear anything,
I'm just like I'm out.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
I'm so out.
Yeah, you probably do wake upto some serious text tosses
there.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
I know I mean, yeah, I'm just like okay, girls, I
miss so much.
I know I do feel like I missedout, but I was in dreamland.
Did you all have a good summer?
Yes, it just went by so fast.
I know I mean, and you guyshave so much to like, kind of
touch base and give us info.
I mean I've been an emptynester for a while.
(03:22):
So to me it was a fabuloussummer, but it was kind of just
status quo for the Badoskis forsure, but you two, Trisha and
Pam, let's, I mean, you guys hadsome big stuff going on.
We did.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Corbin went off to the Air Force Academy, so that
was exciting.
My first baby leaving the house, but he's super happy and
loving it and I'm very proud ofhim.
He looks so cute in a uniform.
My goodness, he looks cute in auniform.
He does look cute, he looks sohappy.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
I know, and that's like the biggest thing, yes,
super happy.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
But that was definitely.
I'm proud of him, but that wasa big change, oh my God, the
first one going.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
Yeah, that is hard.
Yeah, that's hard on a mama'sheart for sure Mine keep coming
back.
Speaker 4 (04:12):
They do not, they do, oh my goodness, I don't think
you ever really empty nest,right?
No?
Speaker 5 (04:19):
I am Well, yeah, your boys are.
Yeah, your boys are gong-gong.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Ashley close that.
Yes, You're out.
Yeah, Like.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
I know like no, my boys, yeah, Steven's in Kansas
city, Treson, Birmingham, andit's been that way for five
years.
Speaker 5 (04:36):
Oh, so you're truly emptiness.
Like I'm a truly I mean, I justkeep adopting more deer.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Oh sweet which.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
I know that sounds crazy, but like, seriously like.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
I have a deer family and my dogs, my husband is like
a pet.
We had that conversation thatif I buy any more, I mean I go
through like 300 pounds of deercorn a week.
That's so sweet though, butyeah no, I'm an empty, empty,
empty nester.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
So Pam tell us about yours.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
Oh my gosh, I'm never going to empty nest because now
my daughter cheers at UGA, sowe're going to all the away
games and the home games.
Speaker 3 (05:07):
Not all of them, but most of them, so fun.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
And then my son won male best dancer.
So, he's going to travel thecountry and world somewhat this
year, so we'll be traveling backand forth and he gets to go
assist all these greatchoreographers and like, do his
solo and start working on hiscareer as a dancer.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
It just truly is so amazing.
Like seriously, it's a funchapter of life.
Speaker 4 (05:34):
But then I think about where you are and where
you are.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
It's like once they're like done with school
and done with everything, likeyou really are an empty duster,
yeah, but then you just travelwith your hubby and you go to
like fun and exciting placesLike that's what my kids are
like, constantly telling us,Like I cannot believe that you
and dad are off this place andthat place and I mean hello.
So it really is.
Speaker 4 (05:55):
It's a fun a travel.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
Yeah, it's a fun chapter to reconnect, cause
we've talked about that so manytimes that, like, parenting is
not easy, marriage and parentingis not easy, yeah, and so like
to kind of like, have and seeyour kids be super successful
and go on and do what they'remeant to do in their life
journey and then reconnectingwith your spouse.
(06:18):
I mean it does.
It's like it's a gift, to behonest, because otherwise you
would be super sad.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
Because they are our babies and they were given to us
and everything.
Speaker 4 (06:31):
So when you get to kind of reconnect, so it's fun,
you get to just so if you becomea grandparent, will you be more
at home and like with agrandkid, probably?
Speaker 3 (06:40):
I mean, I think, so, but I also think that I would
still cause.
I mean, michael and I actuallyhave that conversation, probably
a couple of months ago, and no,my, not that I'm aware of.
(07:08):
I'm about to be a grandmother,but I have no idea.
I like Coco.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
I can see you being a Coco.
I love Coco.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
And then my nieces call me Ashy, so I'm thinking
like maybe this, but I also havelearned that grandchildren
actually pick your name.
Speaker 5 (07:25):
They do, that's true, yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
So yeah, so I don't, I don't, but please, please
don't be granny, but I mean ifit is granny, I will try and be
the best granny on the planet,but I'm really.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
I think you should be Granny Ashley.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
Auntie, auntie.
Speaker 4 (07:40):
Ashley Auntie, ashley Auntie, ashley.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
I know that's right, Because I mean, how can I be a
grandmother when I'm 35?
Exactly.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
That just doesn't make sense.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
Like turning 28, you're not a grandmother, I mean
that's how I tell people I'mlike my kids are 27 and 24.
I mean, that's just so weirdbecause I'm 32.
I don't know how that happened.
Speaker 4 (07:57):
You had kids at 12.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
I know I mean yeah, so I'm going to be the aunt
forever.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
If anyone's wondering if Santa Claus is coming to
town, that's just Ashley.
Speaker 5 (08:09):
Oh, I'm sorry your jingle jangling.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
It's like a little tambourine Every time you talk,
so when Ash is talking, she'sgot accompaniment of her
tambourine.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
Okay, but you can tell that I haven't been here in
a very long time because I knewthis back before the rules of
Santa, you need to give a goodjingle.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
so they're aware that's a lot, that's a lot.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
There's some like meditation beads.
Speaker 4 (08:37):
Ashley, should we put you on the outfit of the day at
Alabama sororities?
Speaker 3 (08:44):
I would love that, because you know, I love fashion
, however, so I've gone down therabbit hole.
I think I've talked about reelsbefore I'm not very into social
media and.
But I went down the rabbit holeof watching this reel of the
outfit of the day at thesesororities and how they would
have this little thing and theywould dissect everything that
(09:07):
they were wearing and I mean, ohmy Lord, like I don't know if I
could afford all of that.
Speaker 4 (09:15):
That's when you realize there's an 18 year old
with a better wardrobe than you.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
I mean seriously like I had to like kind of like
rethink things, because I mean Ifeel like I'm fairly successful
and I love fashion.
But I'm like when they becausethey would do like a little
price point, like okay, so thiswas my Cartier bracelet and my
golden goose shoes and my LouisVuitton purse, and they would do
(09:40):
it and I'm like that's $2,300for one outfit.
Speaker 5 (09:46):
That's crazy.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
For one, not even a full day, I don't think it's for
one session, and I mean Godlove whatever their parents do.
But that's insane Even for me,and I love fashion there's
absolutely no way.
So I think what the girls areput through with this sorority
(10:07):
and rush and I mean.
I know it makes people happyand I think that's so fantastic
and you gotta go do you.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
But that's some crazy expectations for an 18 year old
to be honest, that's when I'mreally happy to be a boy mom oh,
I am so happy to be a boy momso is there nothing like that in
a fraternity?
Speaker 5 (10:25):
it's not like no there nothing like that in a
fraternity?
It's not like no.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Well, I haven't experienced a fraternity thing
yet, because we're obviouslygoing to Air Force Academy.
But from patients and peopleI've talked to whose kids have
gone and joined a fraternity,they're like they went to a
fraternity house played somepool with them.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
The boys are in football.
So that was their kind offraternity.
Speaker 4 (10:43):
As I understand it, it's not even like a formal
thing, like the rush thing.
Sorry, like it's a formal forthese days.
And I think for thefraternities a lot of times it's
just like they have some gettogethers over the summer and if
you get together and they likeyou, then they're like you go
into the fall and they're like,oh, we're already full, we
already have enough people.
So before even people from outof state or whatever get there,
(11:05):
they're already completelybooked with their guys, Cause
it's not a formal process.
That's what.
Speaker 3 (11:10):
I understand Like it just is absolutely insanity.
Speaker 5 (11:13):
And who puts like all this pressure again, like we're
saying it's harder for thegirls, but who's like?
Who's driving this pressure?
Is it like competition from thegirls trying to get into the
sorority or is it the sororityitself going?
This is what we want.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
I think it's a combination of both.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
It's a mixed, but you'd be surprised how many
parents are like I want my childto be this, this or this, and
I'm going to be upset if they'renot.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
So it's the same yeah .
Speaker 5 (11:46):
It's like psychologically there's some
parental pressure as well,because I've seen, like our
local pages or friends that Iknow, and they're always saying
do I have any friends here here,will you?
Is it?
What is it?
What's the?
Speaker 2 (11:53):
right letter a recommendation for yeah.
Speaker 5 (11:56):
And then everybody jumps in and goes oh yeah, well,
I can write one for here.
And I can write well, my god,this is nuts this is quite crazy
from what I.
Speaker 4 (12:03):
That doesn't even hold as much weight as it used
to.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
I don't think it does .
Some don't even accept itanymore.
Speaker 5 (12:09):
It's about popular girls, Is it just?
Speaker 2 (12:11):
well, I mean it's just.
Or if you're Insta-famousapparently.
Speaker 5 (12:15):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
Social media famous.
I think that that's like athing now with everything.
I think yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5 (12:22):
Life now with jobs, and stuff.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
I just feel like it's just another thing that these
kids it's just setting them upfor failure.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Because life is not like that.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
If you've got an 18-year-old who's going to have
an entire outfit, from theirearrings to their bracelets, to
their watch, to their shoes,purse $2,300 for the whole.
Get up, you're 18.
What is your expectation whenyou get out of school and you're
22?
Speaker 4 (12:49):
But it's so weird, like, even like in the, in the
dance world, like even in otherfields.
I'll just say that you'll seepeople, and they've got, they
buy followers, right, so they'vegot two point 1.2 million
followers.
Yes, so they buy followers andthen you look at their reels or
their likes, so they'll have,like you know, I'm just gonna
(13:10):
make this up 800,000 followersand then you look at their reel
and they've got like 200 likesand you're kind of like but you
can buy it, like you can buy theblue check now next to your
name.
You can buy followers.
I mean, you can buy anything.
And so it's like, and I'veknown parents I will say this,
I've known parents who havebought followers for their kids
(13:33):
to make them look like they havemore clout, prestige, whatever,
because they think people lookfor that.
But I'm like but here's thething.
But then you go and you've got,even if you don't show cause
now you can show how many peoplelike your stuff and are not
show, but regardless like youcan go on and count it number
one, but if you've got eightcomments and like 800,000
(13:53):
followers, then you know there'slike a.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
It's just a not realistic world.
Speaker 4 (13:58):
And I just feel like you can buy anything.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
And I and I know I mean growing up, when we did I
mean, obviously parents wantedyou to dress nice and they you
know whatever.
But it's just to such anextreme, to this point, that,
again, how do you create a lifeoutside of mom and dad that
supports that type of money?
Right, and it's not realistic.
(14:21):
It's not realistic and I justwhat does it teach them, though?
It teaches them that somethingfalse matters, when that
actually they'll learn a reallyhard lesson when they realize
that that's not the that's notthe case.
Speaker 5 (14:35):
Do people like that, though, ever learn the lesson,
do they not just?
Do you not feel that kind ofmoney finds money and money
makes more money Like?
It's very rare that thosepeople fall flat on their face,
but it's the ordinary jazz hopeswho are trying to live up to it
.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
I feel like they might keep the facade up.
But I mean, I think we've alllearned in our lives that money
doesn't bring happiness.
And if it, if you don't find itfrom within, and if you don't
fall on your face and have tocrawl back up and learn that
lesson, then who actually areyou as a person?
Speaker 2 (15:12):
Yeah, I agree, and so more depression and everything,
yeah, so I just I mean and andand.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
maybe they just go through life Like you can have
great cars and you can have abeautiful home and you can have
all of this stuff.
But I mean, if it's not comingfrom within, but then that's sad
too, cause then that's so manypeople running around that
you're like, oh my God.
But again I don't know how thatkind of stuff, with the rush
and all of that, is sustainablein setting your child up for
(15:39):
success.
I mean you can have nice things, but you have to appreciate it.
You don't have to.
Speaker 4 (15:46):
But don't you think that's why so many people end up
back at home?
Speaker 3 (15:50):
Well, yeah, when they're 30 and 35.
Think about what kind of jobyou would have to have if you
were so conditioned to have tohave the latest handbag all like
all and again.
I love fashion, but you alsocan do it on a really great
budget and still look amazingand people don't know what you
(16:11):
spent.
I just don't know.
I mean, it's a very smallpercentage where that is
sustainable and otherwise you'rejust miserable because you
don't have it.
And you're constantly judgingyourself based on the next door
neighbor or the pretty housewifein the neighborhood.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
There's always something better, always,
there's always someone prettier.
There's always someone richerthere's always someone funnier,
absolutely, you have to.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
And again, that's easy for us to say at our age,
but I do look at those girls.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
I don't know.
Actually you're pretty funny.
Yes, you might be a top tier,I'm just an idiot, but I do look
at those girls.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
I don't know, Ashley, you're pretty funny.
You might be a top tier.
I'm just an idiot, but I do.
I looked at all of those reelsand I it actually made me sad.
It makes me sad.
It makes me really sad, Cause Ijust know what's coming.
Like that's the thing I know,what's coming for the majority
of those girls, and it really itis sad.
Speaker 5 (17:04):
And social media and reality TV and all those kind of
things just don't help theyjust don't help.
Speaker 3 (17:12):
It makes the world look like you should be
Cinderella.
Yeah, and that's not reality,even reality TV.
We all know that.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
I love it.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
I mean I just watched the Housewives of Dubai reunion
show Amazing.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Well, I think it even gives us an unrealistic
expectation of like how you haveto work hard to get things to,
or that you don't have to workhard, Even with what I do.
I mean, there's there's so manypeople on Instagram now, you
know, showing like their, theirGucci bags, stuff like that, and
like there's people who want todo what we do and think you
just you start it and you'rethere and you have to work hard
and you can't.
You can't just all of a suddenbe at that level without working
(17:48):
hard.
It's, that's not sustainableand you gotta.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
And I mean I.
I truly feel like the harderyou work, the more that you
appreciate it.
If you're given something, it'seasy and I just so.
It just makes me sad.
Speaker 4 (18:05):
And again, that's coming from someone who adores
fashion and but I never wentthrough college and thought when
I graduate I'm going to bewhere my parents are and.
I don't think my parents wereanywhere.
Great, but I didn't expect togo into like a mansion or
whatever.
I just wanted to be in a onebedroom apartment struggling to
make rent and figuring it out.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
I didn't want to like I wanted to become more
successful than my parents,because, I mean, I had grown up
that each generation wanted thenext generation to be more
successful.
Right, but I didn't expect itat 25.
Right, and again you.
Speaker 4 (18:41):
Just I think you see a lot of that.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
No, you do, Cause I just think again.
It goes back to what Lisa said.
Like the social media andeverything is made to look
picture perfect, women arepitted against women whether
you're 18, 16, 25, 35, 55,doesn't matter.
We're pitted against each otheron who is better and, at the
(19:04):
end of the day, that's the stuffthat actually doesn't matter.
No, which is just so crazy.
So, anyway, yeah, I know mybracelets.
I'm sorry, I probably need totake them off, don't I?
You're like we know when you'retalking.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
It's a cute little jingle.
When they hear that, they knowyou're getting really emotional.
Speaker 5 (19:23):
Nobody understands how animated I am, but now you
can tell, because I'm like andthis, oh, yeah, it's, yeah, it's
a sad, it's a sad state ofaffairs, and I think, because
everything is so instant, yes,these days as well.
You see it, you want it, I loveit, I got it yeah, you just go,
(19:43):
you go on and buy it.
I'm totally guilty of it myself, but still, I would not, I
wouldn't be guilty of kind ofmaking a golden goose purchase
once a week, like I just, I justcan't justify that.
And I think the older you get,maybe it's because they have
nothing else to spend theirmoney on, but I'm assuming
because when they're in collegemaybe they're not eating, I
don't know, but there'sdefinitely wine.
I mean, like, how are youaffording your wine?
Speaker 3 (20:04):
I mean again, I think my parents were very, very
generous.
Nothing to this extent.
My parents were very gracious,yeah, but even they would have
been like what are you smoking?
Oh, yeah, no, and absolutelynot because I mean I wouldn't
have been able to afford it onmy own.
I mean, are you kidding me?
Speaker 4 (20:25):
But I remember I said I went to college at UGA and my
mom took out another job, soshe worked 40 hours and then she
worked a second job for likeliterally like 18 to 20 hours
and I would be at school andthink, okay, this is opposite.
Be at school and think, okay,this is opposite.
But my friends would want to goout to eat and I would not want
to go because I felt cause meand my brother like back to back
(20:47):
.
So we were in college togetherfor three years.
So he started, I started, we'rethree years together and then
it was after him and back thenit wasn't like hope and like
Zell and there was noscholarship.
You're having to pay the fullthing, and he went out of state
and so I just remember like Iwould just sit there and think
I'd feel so bad if my parents,like my mom, is working like 60
hours a week, yeah.
(21:07):
I'm not going to go and likespend more money on whatever
Papa John's or whatever it wasback in the day, but you just
feel bad.
Speaker 5 (21:18):
But it's like going from that to what you see now.
Speaker 4 (21:19):
It's a, it's a whole switch, right, yeah, it's
entitlement, and I would feelawful and I didn't go out much
Like I remember I'd be like,okay, I go out to dinner once
every two weeks or once a month,I'm good.
But I didn't want to spendtheir money because I knew how
hard they were working and Iappreciated it, of course.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
But that's Because you're a good human, pam, but
it's just different now it, it'sjust different.
Speaker 5 (21:43):
Now it's very different now.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
There is an expectation, it's just expected.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
I think entitlement is one of the deadly sins that's
just not spoken about.
It's so frustrating.
Yeah, to be honest.
Speaker 5 (21:48):
I really do.
Speaker 3 (21:49):
I mean, I think that entitlement is one of it should
be one of the sins.
Speaker 5 (21:52):
But you know, what really bugs me is that we've
created it in those kids.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
No, and that's true.
Speaker 5 (21:58):
We have done this and I often wonder how it's gotten
to that point.
Was it because of stories likeyours that you're like?
I don't want my kid to feel theway I felt when I was in
college, jean like how have wedone this?
How have we missed?
Speaker 3 (22:16):
it, I don't know, how do we put it back in the box?
Speaker 4 (22:18):
But I think that's so true because I've seen parents.
Lisa for president.
Speaker 3 (22:22):
I mean Lisa for president.
I'm telling you.
Speaker 5 (22:24):
It's the only thing we can agree on.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
It's the only president we can all agree on.
Can I please put me on thecabinet?
I don't have to be VP, but putme on the cabinet.
Speaker 4 (22:32):
I still isn't.
Come on, girl, let's run.
Speaker 5 (22:34):
I still think it would be a very good idea to
have one on each side of thepresident and the vice president
.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
I do agree, and I think the cabinet should be that
way too.
Speaker 5 (22:43):
Yeah, listen, we could go on forever about this.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
We're not going to go down that rabbit hole yet.
Speaker 4 (22:50):
I was like there's not enough wine to do the
drinking.
Not to Lisa, but it's aNovember 20th.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
I do feel like our podcast.
The week of November 5th needsto be at somebody's house and
we're going to spend the nightthe next day.
Everybody has to take offbecause it's going to be a play.
We're going to be like Fox newsand CNN.
Speaker 5 (23:08):
I didn't know what you were just going to say there
.
Speaker 4 (23:10):
Yes Me too, I was like is there going to be bleep,
lisa, bleep Actually?
Speaker 2 (23:15):
bleep.
There's going to be a lot ofbleeps, but that's what we've
said, because we had ourconversations actually before we
started recording that.
It's cool how we have differentviewpoints and we can talk
about that and get along andstill be friends.
Speaker 5 (23:27):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (23:28):
But that's the way it should be.
Speaker 5 (23:29):
That's just the way it should be.
How are people ever going tolearn from each other if we all
agree?
Speaker 3 (23:35):
on the same topic.
Speaker 5 (23:36):
Can you hear it?
Speaker 2 (23:41):
I'm sorry, Ashley is just like she's like a woman.
Are you ripping over?
Speaker 4 (23:46):
there Is that your hip.
What's going on, Ashley?
Speaker 1 (23:54):
I've lost weight.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
I'm feeling that this chair is about to like.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
I mean I have my my braces.
Speaker 3 (23:58):
At first I thought it was my bracelets and I'm like
oh my gosh, you're like thatwoman.
But then I move and I'm likewhy is this doing?
Oh, there you go.
Speaker 5 (24:09):
We're back, oh yes.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
You know, now we probably have our listeners all
going to vote on the wrong daybecause you were trying to tell
Lisa the wrong day to vote.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
That's right.
So the US is actually votingNovember 20th.
That's right.
So the US is actually votingNovember 20th.
So everybody out there thatmight be blue November 20th.
Speaker 5 (24:29):
Yes, yes, I know.
Yeah, you see, in Ireland wedon't discuss religion or
politics.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
Oh, I agree with that I think it is smart.
It's sad that that's how it is,though.
I don't know anything aboutpolitics in Ireland as a result,
Because then it talks about itand that is actually a valid
point, like we think it's safenow that that should be the
thing, because it's gotten soheated and it's like you hate
people just for, maybe, whattheir thoughts are or whatever,
(24:56):
and you don't actually grow Like.
I mean, lisa and I've hadamazing conversations and we do
differ on certain things, but itmakes me think like, okay, you
know what, that's actually avalid point and I just hate that
.
That's not where we are, likethat people have like moved away
from family and close friendsjust because of something like
(25:18):
that, and it's just, it is.
It's sad.
Yeah, so everybody vote onNovember 20th.
We are going to have ourselvesa rip roaring time on November
5th.
Yes, we're going to have thatbeep button ready Beep, beep.
Yes, we all know what myfavorite word is.
That would be one fabulousdrinking game, everybody.
Speaker 4 (25:39):
Yes, it would I just want people to be peaceful like
no, no drama, no shootings, noover political stuff let's just
all be calm and it is what it istogether, yeah like.
Speaker 5 (25:52):
I mean, it's not like we're living on a different
planet no, I was listening tothe thing this morning they were
talking about.
You know that 23 years ago waslike 9-11 and how America came
together after that and itdidn't matter anymore whether
you were red or blue it reallywas.
I was here for it.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
It was for something so tragic.
Speaker 5 (26:13):
It was the most amazing time to be here.
Speaker 3 (26:16):
It was actually so beautiful.
And I was really, really proudto be in America.
Speaker 5 (26:20):
American.
Oh wow, as you should be, itwas just, I was very proud it
was um.
Yeah, it was a very awful.
It was an awful, awful time,but also there was such a sense
of hope and camaraderie andtogetherness.
And where were you there?
I was in um, in Minneapolisdowntown Minneapolis.
Speaker 4 (26:37):
Okay, how long had you been?
I've been here a year, so whatwas your, what was your take on
that?
Speaker 5 (26:42):
honestly, it was.
Oh, it was so strange becauseit was a Monday, so when you're
touring, mondays are off.
So I was actually Scott hadgone to play golf.
This was pre cell phones aswell, so I can't remember how I
got in contact with him, butanyway, himself and his friend
Oisin, and a few of them hadgone off, probably a beeper.
Yeah, probably, and I was athome.
But machine and a few of themhad gone off, Probably a beeper?
(27:02):
Yeah, probably, and I was athome.
But I was awake.
I'm always awake early.
But Monday, traditionallyeverybody was still asleep and I
had called home and I wastalking to my dad on the phone.
And just as I was talking to mydad on the phone, my mom came
in from our neighbors and wentoh my God, planes crashed into
the Twin Towers and I didn'tknow.
So I turned on the TV CNN, Iforgive you, and I was.
I was watching it like livehappen.
(27:25):
Oh yeah, I was like, oh my God,I thought it was an accident.
Speaker 4 (27:27):
It was an accident.
No, he did the first one.
He thought that it was anaccident.
I did, yeah, I thought it wasjust total accident.
And they were.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
They were reporting it as an accident.
Speaker 5 (27:42):
So like every, and I could see the chopper.
There was a chopper flyingaround around and all of a
sudden, then obviously thesecond one hit and very quickly.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
I remember very quickly going.
Speaker 5 (27:46):
This is, this is an organized, this is.
This is not right.
Yeah, so I was, as I said, Iwas the only one awake, so I
phoned everybody.
I called everybody's room who Iknew was a New Yorker, so I
called, like Porrick and one ofthe tappers, and, because I knew
they were, they were all hadfamily in New York, right.
So we I actually ended upgetting up and going for a walk
and it was the weirdest thing,cause I was on the downtown in
Minneapolis and they actuallyclosed everything.
(28:07):
And Caribou coffee was rightbeside us and they were open.
Starbucks are closed, caribouwere still open and I went to
get a coffee and we literallyall everybody huddled into a
room and we just sat there andwatched everything all day.
But it was terrifying because,like you, didn't have the
information you have now, so youwere relying our parents and
our families didn't know whatwas going on and I want to say,
(28:28):
well, yeah, well, then there wasthe ones shut down around the
Pentagon and everything.
So it was just, it was horrific.
So I was a.
Speaker 4 (28:35):
I was a arise fellow, so I was in a fellowship at the
CDC and they sent everyone home.
But I actually had tickets thatweekend to go to New York and
they put it off to the followingweekend and I will never forget
we got on the plane and it wasan enormous plane and I promise
you there were like 18 of us onthat plane going to New York and
we went there, obviously likewe go.
(28:56):
We used to go every September,but we got there and we went and
it was like I mean, just a hazefog and just going, you
couldn't go so far.
Obviously you can't go on theMetro, like you can't go in that
area and people walking aroundand like that's when I first saw
masks.
Like people were like wearingmasks and like women pushing
their babies, and just thesadness.
And that's the first time Iremember because I go to New
(29:17):
York every year that it was justcompletely silent.
You didn't hear a taxi cab.
You didn't hear anybody, likeyou know, beep, nothing.
And then just walking aroundall the fire stations and seeing
like all the like flowers andmemorials and pictures and just
I mean this was like literally aweek after or a week and a half
after or 10 days, but it wasjust the most impactful, I think
(29:40):
time Just yeah, you'll neversee or experience that and I
didn't live there.
I'm not saying I was like theperson that was like there going
through it, but just to seethat even when you're used to
just going in, it's like youknow New York is loud and taxis
and everybody's, you know,blowing and mad at everybody.
But it was just so awful.
Speaker 5 (29:58):
It was such a strange .
Yeah, it was such a strangeplace.
Speaker 3 (30:02):
I had just dropped Stephen off at his little pre-K
at the church and Trey had justturned one, so we were up in the
playroom and they just came onFox News.
But to be honest, it wasactually a local station.
Speaker 5 (30:18):
Yeah, I think mine was too.
Speaker 3 (30:20):
It was a local station and I remember him and I
were playing and saw the firstone and I was like oh my gosh, I
mean cause they were sayingthat they thought that it was
like maybe like a private jet orlike a single in yeah.
And I was like, so sad Likesomeone maybe had a midair
emergency and oh my gosh.
And then the second, and youreally do.
It's kind of like how I alwaysremember my parents talking
(30:42):
about.
They knew exactly where theywere when jfk was assassinated
yeah, and like how they canremember it yeah, every day yeah
, and I remembered in thatmoment that that's what this is
like this is.
And then again, at least, likeyou were saying, like didn't
have social media, so we werewatching it in real time with
the local stations and Iremember seeing the, the people
(31:06):
that made the choice to jump,yeah, and I just, it just shakes
you because making your terroryeah, making those decisions and
then thinking and just whenthey came down and realizing how
many people were still thereand the first responders.
(31:27):
So it just yeah, it's horriblebecause everyone had a normal
day.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
They said goodbye.
Normal, they went to work,everything was normal.
Normal it's just crazy.
Speaker 3 (31:39):
I mean, how many days have we had that?
If you're going to get on aflight and you say, hey, I love
you.
Speaker 4 (31:43):
I'll text you when I land, or hey, I'll call you
during lunch and how many heroesI mean even that we didn't hear
about.
Like how many heroes were therethat day?
Speaker 3 (31:53):
Ordinary people that did extraordinary things and I
think that, that even in, likethe worst times, it does show
the immense power of the humanspirit.
Because, again, like I know, Iwas watching some interviews
this morning.
Was it Frank, is it Silverman?
From Tunnel to Tower, hisbrother.
(32:14):
Yeah, his brother is the one whowas the firefighter that they
started the whole thing and thatso many firefighters they
perished.
But they told their like Ithink his brother was like no,
you guys go back down.
And he stayed because one ofthe people in the stairwell
couldn't wasn't going to moveand he was going to stay, and so
just yeah, just the amazingthing that the human spirit can
(32:36):
do.
And again, it was such anabsolute horrific day, but to
see it's so amazing, yeah.
Speaker 4 (32:46):
And really the world and pull together yeah.
Speaker 3 (32:49):
Other than those who did it.
Speaker 4 (32:51):
Yeah, yeah, we've done it, but how?
Speaker 3 (32:53):
the world came together.
Speaker 4 (32:54):
We've done a tour three times, like with the kids,
but it's there's like a churchthere, like everything around it
, kind of you know what I'mtalking about?
Yeah, st, like a church there,like everything around it, kind
of you know what I'm talkingabout.
Speaker 5 (33:01):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, st Patrick Is St Patrick.
No, st Patrick was in Paul's.
Speaker 4 (33:04):
Yeah, it's right there, but everything kind of
was gone with that.
But, that was their like kind ofresource camp where they like
come with like water and thingslike that.
But they do this tour and likeevery time you go, but the
person gives that account andyou just go through that and you
just get chills every time, nomatter who your person is, it's
(33:27):
just like their account of it,even if they weren't there, it's
just and it's so quiet and it'sso just serene, but sad and
just emotional, like seeing thewater, it's just all the energy
that.
Yeah, but I never don't gettouched.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
Yeah, the memorial is just so.
Yeah, it's, it's amazing to seeagain busy new york.
But I mean, I just went to ayear ago, two years ago, quiet,
and it's, everyone is so quietaround it like there's just such
a, just a respect.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
Where were you?
Speaker 2 (33:53):
and I was in my get ready to go to work and I
remember watching on the newsand you know the first one I
thought this is horrible.
And then the second one I waslike oh my gosh, it was, this
was planned.
Yeah, Terrifying.
Speaker 5 (34:04):
One of my friends, her brother, was actually killed
in the Twin Towers and sheshared this this morning.
She shared his last text, so itwas on instant message, and at
like 8.39, he said we have aconference a little while she
said morning sounds good, I haveto go into a nine o'clock
meeting.
And then at 9.06, he said aplane.
(34:26):
No, someone said to him a planejust hit the World Trade Center
and he signed off at 9.11.
Speaker 2 (34:31):
And that was yeah, that's so goosebumps.
Speaker 3 (34:33):
Oh, it's, yeah, me too so sad.
Yeah, just those messages, theones from the plane that went
down in Pennsylvania.
Speaker 4 (34:39):
Oh, yeah, that was the worst.
Speaker 3 (34:41):
Like just so sad.
Speaker 4 (34:45):
I mean again, just Well, then and after that, so
many that were going, so wethought one was coming to the
CDC in Atlanta.
Right, they thought that onewas going to San Francisco, san
Diego, somewhere on the WestCoast, like it just was.
It was scary, yeah, it's a verytough time.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
There are definitely a lot of people that unsung
heroes oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
Anything about first responders.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
I mean, I have so much respect for them.
Speaker 4 (35:05):
And just you know running into danger to save
people.
You can never predict.
That, like I mean, you thinkabout all the like things that
you would encounter for firstresponders it would never be
that severe.
Speaker 3 (35:16):
Like this is it?
Yeah, and that's what they sayLike the families are the ones
is that when they realized I'mnot, I'm still going to go up,
but I'm not coming down.
Speaker 5 (35:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (35:29):
And just that they still did it.
Yeah they did, so it's amazing.
Speaker 2 (35:34):
Yep, when you talk about you being united and
everything and there was I meanthere's definitely a uniting
that we've not had in mylifetime.
That was the most united.
Speaker 1 (35:41):
I've ever felt Right uniting that we've not had in my
lifetime.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
That was the most united I've ever felt Right.
But you think about, like thequote, better together and I
wish that somehow we could dothat again and be better
together Because you know I waspicturing.
I'm an analogy person.
If you picture like two peoplepushing against a rock, right
we're not getting anywhere.
Right If all of us want to pushit a certain direction and we
all want to be safe.
We all want to be safe, we allwant to have a great economy, we
(36:03):
all want to have better livesright Right.
And safe and good for ourchildren and grandchildren.
If we all were pushing thatrock in the same direction, like
that would be, Honey, that'sthe thing.
Speaker 3 (36:14):
Common sense has left the building.
Because you're so right Like wecan't have a world where we all
believe the exact same.
No, because then you, like yousaid, you go nowhere, like you
don't grow if you all believethe exact same.
Speaker 4 (36:28):
But you have to find connection and unity.
Speaker 3 (36:30):
You do Well, you have to find respect, and I think
that's what's missing.
Speaker 5 (36:34):
I think that's fair yeah.
Speaker 3 (36:36):
I just so yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
Tricia, like it's just Because, like you said, it
about respect, like listening tothe other person's opinion.
Oh wait, yeah, that's a validpoint and, yeah, I think that
that's something we definitelylack.
And, again, even though wemight have differences in
beliefs, we all still, ingeneral, have the same end goals
globally.
Speaker 3 (36:56):
There might be different things, but we want a
better world.
We want a better world for ourkids, yeah, and for all kids.
Speaker 4 (37:02):
And just empathy of like I don't.
If I see someone hurting, I'mgoing to help that person.
I don't care, I don't care whatthey're wearing or who they are
Right.
What they look like, or theirrace or their gender or whatever
.
I'm going to.
You want to like help and dothat, versus like putting a
roadblock up for whatever reasonyeah, like it's.
Speaker 3 (37:18):
That's my problem.
I know we just need a heart.
Speaker 5 (37:23):
We do yes we do it's, kelly for.
Speaker 2 (37:24):
President.
Speaker 3 (37:24):
I've called her.
Speaker 2 (37:26):
Hey I.
Speaker 3 (37:27):
Lisa is going to run.
What cabinet position.
We got to think about that.
That could be so.
Speaker 2 (37:31):
What cabinet position could I have?
Is there a fashion?
I don't think there's a fashion.
Speaker 5 (37:34):
Oh, you could be my stylist.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
Oh, I could be.
You can be my psychologist, youcan just do my face Gotcha, all
right.
Speaker 3 (37:43):
I got enough, okay, so actually you really don't
need a cabinet, we're good, no.
Speaker 5 (37:46):
I don't need an advisor.
No, I might need a financial.
I'm not good at math, but thatdoesn't seem to matter.
Speaker 2 (37:53):
So is it too late to enter an independent?
I don't think so.
Speaker 5 (37:56):
I think you should, lads, I wasn't born here.
Hey, I probably know somebodythat can fake that.
Speaker 4 (38:03):
We can fake that.
Speaker 3 (38:05):
Lisa Kelly for president Independent.
I know that Seriously.
Speaker 5 (38:09):
That's the thing you know.
You can't actually be presidentif you're not born in the
country we can lie.
Speaker 4 (38:14):
Your accent might give you away a little bit.
Speaker 5 (38:16):
It might just have a little bit of a like oh my God,
okay, come on.
Speaker 3 (38:18):
I, oh my God, okay, come on.
Speaker 5 (38:20):
I don't do my best.
I can't do it on the spot.
I can only do it now.
Yes, you can.
No, no, I'm going to do thevocal fry.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
Oh, my God, you know what my favorite thing?
So Lisa's son, Jack, works withme and people all the time
speak oh, where are you from?
And I go Alabama.
Speaker 5 (38:39):
That's the funniest thing ever.
It makes me proud One of thetimes Jack and I were going down
to Savannah last year and westopped in Dublin, georgia, on
the way down, because it was aDunkin', so Jack wanted a
Dunkin', so we stopped, gottaget a Dunkin' so this poor girl
behind the desk, she's like ohmy God, I love your accents,
where are you from?
(38:59):
And Jack went we're from Dublin,and she just kind of went I
don't know you.
He was like no, dublin Irelandand she was like what I don't
know Dublin Ireland Is that inGeorgia?
Speaker 3 (39:10):
Yeah, I'm from the South side of your state.
Speaker 4 (39:12):
You're like Dublin Ireland, georgia.
Speaker 5 (39:15):
Yeah, yes, yes, yes, so yeah.
No, I can't be president thistime, maybe.
Speaker 4 (39:19):
Harry can.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
I would vote for you.
Thanks, I would vote for you,thanks.
Speaker 5 (39:23):
Thanks, I wouldn't want the job.
Speaker 3 (39:25):
I mean right now, who ?
Speaker 5 (39:26):
would no, thank you, no, thank you, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I don't want 49% of the peoplehating me.
Speaker 4 (39:34):
I'm not sad because you used to think it would be
such like people that used to beso respected had that job, and
now people are like I wouldnever want that job.
Speaker 5 (39:41):
Oh god, no, I'd never want that job the families I
would not be president ofanywhere.
Oh gosh, right now I mean it'sjust awful it is social media
has ruined us they'rescrutinized.
Speaker 2 (39:52):
So bad yeah you know I have to.
I have to call out my collegeroommate who was so much fun.
She was like I'm the rulefollower.
She was not, but angie wouldanytime we go out and she'd
always be like well, there goesmy chances of being president,
so that was pretty funny.
Speaker 3 (40:04):
Oh, I lost that chance many years ago.
Speaker 4 (40:06):
If that was before social media, you may still be
okay, Trisha.
Speaker 3 (40:09):
I mean, I do think all the Polaroid pictures went
up in flames for me, but theremight be a couple out there.
Speaker 5 (40:14):
Can you imagine, though, people digging into your
past?
Speaker 3 (40:17):
to find things.
Oh, I mean, I would almost doit just to watch the reaction of
their like.
Is this for real?
Speaker 4 (40:26):
I will just say like I was just somewhere that I was
and we were going over likerules or regulations.
And then it's like people go onsocial media and they get on
this like group chat, right.
It's just like about just thegroup of, like the students that
were there and they're alldoing everything and bashing
people that they were just toldnot to do.
And I'm like this is in writing.
(40:47):
This is like why would youwrite something that people just
told you not to do?
That could be like.
So when that person gets mad atyou, they're like hey, look
what so-and-so said and it'slike everywhere, why would you
do that?
Speaker 3 (41:00):
I know it's like when the D1 scholarships like
football I mean I know about thefootball, but like they do a
deep dive into that child'ssocial media and so many kids
have had scholarships yankedbecause of that exact thing that
they were told don't do thismake good choices, I mean cause,
(41:23):
if you put it out there, it isthere, there is no deleting it.
I mean there's like asuperficial delete, but like
it's life changing.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
You know, I wonder if we're more aware of that
because we didn't have it.
And then I was like Whoa, thisis like out there versus going
up with it, and we also wouldn'thave put it in a letter Like do
you know the way you were?
Speaker 3 (41:43):
so no but you were so aware.
No, you're so right.
No, that's what I'm saying.
Like when I would writesomething they'd be like you're
so great Because it was drilledinto your head, if you put it in
writing.
Speaker 5 (41:53):
Whereas I don't like.
I think my kids are prettysmart, but the amount of times
I've, are you stupid?
Why would you put that?
Speaker 3 (42:00):
in a text.
You're kind of looking at melike are you in there, why would
you put?
Speaker 5 (42:04):
like we talk about this all the time.
Why would you put that in atext?
Speaker 3 (42:08):
because you can never like it, never goes away, can't
take it, nope that screenshot.
No, no, okay ladies, cheers to,cheers to the 80s, but also
cheers to first responders wholost their lives God love them,
and here's to just a betterworld.
Speaker 5 (42:26):
Yes, ma'am.
Speaker 2 (42:26):
Cheers to that.
Speaker 1 (42:29):
Thank you for joining the ladies of the Middle
Age-ish podcast as they journeythrough the ups and downs of
this not young but definitelynot old season of life.
To hear past episodes or makesuggestions for future episodes,
visit wwwmiddleagishcom.
That's wwwmiddleageishcom.
(42:51):
You can follow along on socialmedia at Middle Age-ish.
Also, if you have a moment, toleave a review, rate and
subscribe.
That helps others find the showand we greatly appreciate it.
Once again, thank you so muchfor joining us and we'll catch
you in the next episode of themiddle-aged ish podcast.
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