December 6, 2023 • 45 mins
Have you ever wondered how a decorated combat veteran conquers the challenges of dyslexia and rises to the rank of Lieutenant Colonel? That’s exactly what we delve into with our inspiring guest, Lieutenant Colonel Jason Pike, on today's Middle Ageish podcast. We uncover the riveting story of Pike’s three-decades-long journey in the Army and how he transformed his struggles into strengths, inspiring us all with his resilience and determination.
We take a deeper look into the often overlooked world of veterans and the daunting challenges they face upon their return home. Pike offers insightful perspectives into his own encounters with PTSD and the daily battles veterans confront. We address the pressing concerns surrounding resources and support available for veterans. We urge everyone to rally behind our veterans, acknowledging the sacrifices they have made for our nation.
Our conversation then veers towards the struggles of learning disabilities and the power of education. Pike’s personal narrative of overcoming dyslexia and pursuing multiple degrees transcends the ordinary, illuminating the path for others battling similar setbacks. The episode wraps up with an empowering message underscoring the importance of self-confidence, grit, and the will to triumph over any obstacle. So tune in, and prepare to be moved by this phenomenal tale of adversity, perseverance, and triumph.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to the Middle-Age-ish podcast,
authentically andunapologetically, keeping it
real, discussing all thingsmiddle-age-ish, a time when
metabolism slows and confidencegrows.
Join fashion and fitnessentrepreneur Ashley Badosky,
former Celtic woman and founderof the Lisa Kelly Voice Academy,
lisa Kelly, licensedpsychologist and mental health
(00:24):
expert, dr Pam Wright, andhighly sought-after cosmetic
injector and board certifiednurse practitioner, trisha
Kennedy-Roman.
Join your hosts on the journeyof Middle-Age-ish.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode
of Middle-Age-ish podcast.
I'm Trisha Kennedy-Roman andI'm joined here today with my
co-host, ashley Badosky, lisaKelly and Dr Pam Wright.
And today we are honored tohave with us Lieutenant Colonel
Jason Pike, who has served overthree decades in the Army and is
a decorated combat veteran andhas written two books.
One is Soldier Against All Oddsand the other one is Out of
(01:01):
Uniform Back in a Civilian Life.
So we are excited to talk tohim just about his long military
career as well as his books.
So welcome to our show.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
Thank you so much for coming on, so excited oh yeah,
it's been something else gettingthese books out and going on to
my passion right now andcreativity, but yeah, it was a
long time in the Army Awesome.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Well, thank you for your service.
We were talking just about whata sacrifice it is and how much
we appreciated how much we wouldnot be able to hang with being
in the military, so we have alot of admiration for those who
can't Amen to that.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Yes, Well, I nearly got kicked out myself three
different times, but that's inmy book.
Speaker 4 (01:37):
Oh, that's juicy, though, I know yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
It's very juicy.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
No, yeah.
Speaker 5 (01:44):
So how did you pick the path of military?
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Well, there was not a whole lot of options.
Academics were out of thequestion.
But I did get three collegedegrees but it was just I don't
know.
I was not a criminal and I wasstill.
I was physically fit and Ithink I could have passed the
entrance exam and but no, thatwas because there just wasn't
much options.
Or I was from a small towncalled Fingerville, south
(02:08):
Carolina, which is a town inSouth Carolina, northern
Spartanburg County.
So that's kind of why I kind ofput my foot in the door.
So yeah, that's kind of howthat worked.
Speaker 5 (02:17):
So what kept you?
Because I mean, like Trishasaid, you were there.
You served for over threedecades and we appreciate anyone
who serves, but you made it acareer and led you to where you
are now.
So, like, how did you just Imean not to sound cheesy, but
stay in the fight.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
Oh, there was just so many benefits I found out.
It was not just the retirementsystem, which is an excellent
retirement system, but it wasthe travel and the opportunities
to see other things, othercultures and people that I would
never been able to have seen ifI didn't join.
So once I got in I was thinkingyou know, this is this might be
a pretty good deal for a longterm career.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Right and you lived in multiple countries, correct?
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Oh wow, five different countries, nearly nine
years overseas.
We got Germany, got Afghanistan, el Salvador, korea, a lot of
time in South Korea and someother countries that I can't
talk about, but a lot of my timewas overseas.
That's amazing.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
So I know you mentioned your multiple degrees,
which is awesome, because Iknow just by reading you know
your bio that you had a lot ofdifficulties when you were
younger, so I think that that'sreally cool.
I mean, you were definitely anovercomer with that.
Can you tell us a little bitabout your journey through and
how that came about?
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Yeah, I surprised the hell out of my family.
There are no doubt about that.
And my high school counselor too.
But no, I was learning,identified when I was seven
years old as someone that was aSloan learner.
There was a term floatingaround called dyslexia, but it
wouldn't diagnosed officially onthat, Even after I had my
(03:52):
college degrees.
A standardized test to me andany type of instruction.
I think all your viewers outthere can change a tire much
better than me.
I mean, if you give me thepractice to do something, I can
do it, but I have to work at itharder and I'm slower Right and
a lot of people are like youknow.
I mean, you don't know how to doit, but no, I had to work.
I had to work at it and a goodquestion would be how in the
(04:12):
hell did you join the Army?
Because you have to pass abasic entrance exam and I
started in the National Guard,which was the less than best.
We were weekend warriors, oneweekend a month, two weeks a
year, drinking beer and goofingoff.
But they used to call us nastygirls no goes things of that
nature.
But I saw I went in at.
The very bottom is rank andeducation.
(04:33):
I went into a junior collegeand I got my basics up and then
I went transfer over to areputable college, plimpson
University.
So I started real slow andmethodical and just kind of
worked my way in that way oneducation, which was to me even
to this day is difficult for me.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
So you started out, then enlisted and then you ended
up obviously as LieutenantColonel, so kind of went in and
made it work yeah made it work.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
Yeah, then they're in the reviews of the first book,
a Soldier Against All Odds.
There's folks that knew me andsays he's surprised the hell out
of me and I kind of like thiswas kind of fun to surprise
everybody about what I'm doing.
And just I wouldn't know, I wasa quiet guy.
I started talking a lot lateron in life, maybe after some of
my siblings said I didn't starttalking until I was age 30 or my
(05:23):
confidence was low.
Speaker 5 (05:24):
Oh, that's sibling.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
But yeah, it was just a slow, methodical and in many
times a painful process.
Once I got in, I see I almostgot kicked out when I was age 17
.
I had failed.
I was older than most people inhigh school and I never said
anything about me failing thefirst grade and having problems
learning.
My high school counselor knewabout it and some others, but
for the most part it was keptsort of a secret.
(05:50):
I guess each 17,.
I almost got thrown out.
I went into a criminalcorrectional facility, not
because I did anything criminalin the army, it was just because
I wasn't able to drink the damnwater that was coming out of
that fire hose.
It was coming too fast.
You had to learn things quicklyand I was one of the worst ones
there.
And it was a motivationalprogram criminal correctional
(06:10):
facility.
They made big rocks in thesmall rocks and climbed obstacle
courses and it was a shit stone.
It was much, much more advancedthan just a much more degree of
hill.
And I come out of thatgraduated basic training when I
was 18.
And in my brain at that timeI'm thinking I think I can do a
whole lot more because I peoplejust don't understand what I
(06:32):
just went through and I startedgaining a little bit more
confidence.
Got my first girlfriend afterthat, but so, but yeah.
So things started working outreal.
So I said well, I think I cango to college, and even though
they tell me I can't, that's theway I become a leader.
You got to get a college degree.
And so that's how that startedreal slow from a junior college,
(06:52):
yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
So you started in the military when you were 17?
, 17, I was still in high school.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
I had to even graduate.
We called nasty girls NationalGuard, I mean, you didn't have
to have a high school diploma,yeah, so I think they just
slipped me on through and I feelthat I probably failed the test
.
But they just weren't numbersand things but once I got my
foot in the door.
Once I got my foot in the door,it was in the door.
So yeah, a 17,.
(07:19):
I was a junior.
Well, yeah, I was a junior inhigh school.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
They don't do that.
Now.
You have to be older, don't youknow how to enlist.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
Definitely you need to have a high school diploma to
go into the army.
I don't know about the NationalGuard or the reserves, I don't
know if they'll let you inwithout a high school diploma or
a GED.
But at the time in the guard Ijust remember I had to get my
mom's signature.
I remember that and I was like,okay, she'll sign off on it,
(07:46):
but other than that, yeah, Idon't know these days.
Speaker 4 (07:50):
So which was scarier than like being in the army or
doing your college degree?
Speaker 3 (07:55):
Oh, I was scared to death walking into a college
classroom because that was aplace.
Oh yeah, it was well known thatthis is a place that's outlined
for me and but once I got thefirst semester of the second
semester, I started to slowlybuilding up the confidence.
I think, I can handle this andyou know it wasn't anything
technical, it was an education.
So I was on a slower path,maybe the five, five and a half
(08:16):
year program.
At the same time I was still inthe reserves or the National
Guard and then I'd be.
I got a ROTC scholarship.
I applied well, I applied onceand failed and got it on the
second try.
But I went to Clemson and wasable to get my degree in
agriculture education.
I was from a rural backgroundand that's what you needed.
(08:37):
You needed a bachelor degreeand that was my goal and I got
that.
I was able to get that.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
That's incredible.
Yeah, that's amazing.
So you tell them about gainingconfidence, but obviously, as
you went up in ranks, you wereresponsible for a lot of people
and a lot more people as it wenton, and so I can't imagine
having that responsibility ofhaving platoon or yeah, yeah,
kind of you're a young guy andyou're in charge of maybe 20, 30
, 40 people and they have a lotmore experience in you.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
But leadership was pounded into me early and I got
leadership pretty well as far asjust treating others like you
want to be treated, and to me itwas sort of common sense and
you give the task down to yoursubordinate leaders and they
allow them to carry it out, andI did well with that.
I did well with that.
So that was something that theytaught us to trust your leaders
(09:25):
and trust your subordinateleaders.
And I did well.
And I was never you canprobably detect I never thought
I was better than anyone.
I was.
I felt always blessed that Iwas in the position I was.
Speaker 5 (09:35):
Yeah, but those are the best leaders, I think, the
ones that continue to have ahumble heart and they lead by
example.
I think that that actuallyshows how you were able to
overcome what you did in move on.
I think that's so important.
I think in life, yeah, andnobody's better than anybody
else.
You've got to work just as hard, if not harder.
Speaker 4 (09:55):
And having the knowledge that you need to
continue learning as well tomake yourself better.
I always think it's because weall run our own businesses, but
I always feel it's nice to beable to sit back and listen to
others' opinions and take it onboard and not be so full of
yourself that you're notavailable to learn or listen or
gain some new knowledge all thetime.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Oh yeah, and I was definitely all for you know,
help me out, man, help me out, Idon't know.
But yeah, exactly, I agree withthat, for a hard time yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Point eight too just the fact that it didn't come
easy for you.
I think that that again is aleader who can understand other
struggles and be more of anencourager versus someone who
you know it is very natural andeasy for them.
I think that that would makeeven a stronger leader to
overcome those challenges, to beable to work hard to get where
you want it to be.
I think that's really cool.
Speaker 3 (10:40):
I was always empathetic with the folks that
did the work at the bottom,because I used to be there
myself.
Speaker 5 (10:45):
Right.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
Yeah, yeah, that's right.
They call that term Mustang inthe military, someone who came
from the lower ranks and made itup and I, yeah, exactly being
very humble.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Because is that common, you know, for people
that are enlisted?
I know there are I'm here inWarren officers and such but is
it common to then go back andbecome a commissioned officer?
Speaker 3 (11:04):
At the time it was not.
It's more common now.
They have programs where theytry to get enlisted to become
officers.
Well, I was in an era at thattime that it was not common and
once you're enlisted you sort ofhave the tendency to stay
enlisted because once you gobecome an officer you go down to
the, you're down at Butter Bar,which is the second lieutenant,
which is at the lowest of theofficers.
(11:25):
You're still in charge ofpeople and you're still higher
up there, make more money.
But still it's more commontoday that it was when I joined.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
So your book, I know, talks about some of the
struggles you went through workanyway and does it cover a lot
of events through your militarycareer as well.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
Yeah, I say pretty much goes into detail and I
pretty much I'm very, veryvulnerable with everything that
I've done good in the bad andthe ugly, which is really hard
to get.
The vulnerability thing,because I grew up in the south
as a man and you're in themilitary, you suck it up, you
take it all, you don't complain.
But in the book I pretty muchgave it all up and it's that was
(12:03):
the hard part of the book is tohave somebody work with you to
get the details of girlfriendproblems, car crashes, jealousy,
all the human rage, emotions,fun, all those things and just
pack them together as a life.
And that was real difficultbecause you got to think, well,
what are they going to thinkabout me?
And then I think that this andthat are destroy your
(12:25):
friendships.
So really that was the reallyhard part of the book is just
vomiting it out.
Speaker 5 (12:32):
But was it a healing process for you to be so raw and
vulnerable?
Speaker 3 (12:38):
Yeah, it was a healing process that I got over
a lot of things that I had hangups with Right, yes, there was a
healing process to this anddefinitely was.
Speaker 6 (12:49):
We talked about how it's so hard to adjust to coming
back to life here.
If you've been overseas oryou've been at war and there's
no other things.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Oh, that's tough yeah .
Speaker 6 (12:57):
So how is that for you?
I mean, was there like somePTSD?
Oh yeah, was there other thingsgoing on, or?
Oh, yeah, I burned.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
I got PTSD really later in my career, before I
even went to war.
I've got my PTSD from like amean girl event that occurred in
the military where I had abunch of false accusations that
were throwing against me forthings that I went through a
federal investigation ofespionage against the US
government.
But in organizations such or itcould be cliques or things if
(13:26):
things don't fall into place toowell with leaders, there's
things that they can do and Istarted developing PTSD later.
I was a senior military officer, lieutenant Colonel at the time
.
That was before I went toAfghanistan and then, of course,
my father's death inAfghanistan really solidified
that.
Yeah, and you talked aboutgetting out and the transition
(13:47):
and you think about all thosethings that you did overseas
doesn't have to do with war, itcould have to do with just being
a team member, could be thefoods, the taste, the smells and
all the things that.
And then you're back in Americaand you're on drive by Popeyes
and you feel like you're goingto throw up.
It's just, you know, you goback to all the other things
that were that you remember andsometimes you miss and kind of
(14:10):
wish that you were back.
But once you get the PTSD andthat forms in you and you're
getting burned, burned out.
Then that's the reason I gotout, was I needed to heal.
I need to find something toheal.
Speaker 6 (14:21):
And I think people don't realize how, because I've
worked with a lot of veteranswith PTSD like the little things
that can set them off it justcould be like a plastic bag
that's going across the road andthey think you know reminds
them of like a bomb or somethingyou know just little things
that can like, trigger thoselike thoughts and memories.
That can be yeah for me it was.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Yeah, it was loud noises for me and a backfire of
a car, things of that nature.
Any loud burst, even even mydaughter if she was to burst out
or you know, or iPod with somesound, it would give me a little
shock and reaction.
But I live now in thecountryside.
It was much more peaceful whereI have the nature going on.
But yeah, that's those thingscan.
(14:59):
They can trigger you and youmight go back.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Like that's what we really take for granted.
You know that you can't imaginehaving experienced those things
and having those type oftriggers and and be able to come
through it, you know such alarge, a large chunk of your
life to like.
Speaker 4 (15:18):
It always amazes me that you know people are kids
when they go into the army, likethey're 17 and 18.
You know, we have sons allaround the same age like.
I know they're not emotionallymature enough to handle sort of
anything really and you'rethinking that these four kids
are heading off into the armyand dealing with things that
they've never had to deal withbefore.
Speaker 5 (15:39):
It's just the sights that, yeah, the things that they
have to see, as you know, yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
And a lot of them don't stay as long as I did.
They might go in for three orfour years and come back, and
they'll go back to their sametown and everything's changed.
They well, they've changed.
But also, other figure once,there's an old term called once
you leave, you can never comeback, and so they feel that
they're out of place.
But you know, they've changed,the people have changed and
they're different folks as well,and you have to establish,
(16:06):
wherever you want, your pattern.
I mean, they may have driventanks and rode in helicopters
just freely and wildly, and thennow they're bagging bags at
Walmart or something and they'relike what is this?
What's up?
What's up with this stuff?
And they don't feel thecamaraderie, they don't feel the
excitement.
I used to drive a tank or where, this, this, this, and now I'm
doing this, I'm driving a truck,driving, you know.
Speaker 4 (16:26):
So it's not the same thing.
And the hard thing, when youcome back as well, is you don't
realize that people have movedon as well.
So they've moved on away fromyou and you think you're longing
for something that was therelike two or three years ago.
And then you go back andeverybody else has continued on
with their life and you're likeoh, this is, this is different.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
Oh yeah, so this, this thing about suicide and
there's a whole lot of it's ananimal that we've been looking
at for over a year and lookingat for over 10 years or more
around it, so we haven't got ourhands wrapped around it.
Speaker 5 (16:54):
We'll, we'll, no yeah , cause that's what we were
talking about Just the focusneeding to be on the veterans
coming home and to make surethat they're taking care of
mentally, spiritually.
And there is, it seems I meanto a lay person who doesn't have
any background like you do justthe disappointment in how
veterans are treated and theagencies and the services that
(17:18):
they need, just for us hearing,if we even listen to the news.
You know how that has to be astruggle for someone like
yourself.
That you know, you did, youwere there for 31 years and you
went through that stuff to comehome or just to see other
veterans in those differentsituations.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
Yeah, because you come back home and you you deal
with the veterans administration.
And then I deal with theveterans administration in my
second book, out of uniform andback into civilian life.
I try to break it down forfolks.
It's more of a self-help guidewith links, and I do speak that
the veterans administration is adifficult beast.
It's the largest healthcareagency, a huge bureaucratic
(17:59):
organization that's difficult toget through just because
there's so many differenthurdles.
And I try to tell them to stickwith it, just like anything
else in life, and to work withit the best you can.
Because a lot of folks think,well, that's where my money is
going to come from or wherethat's where my healthcare is
going to come from, and it mightbe, there's got to be, yes, but
there's second and third orderbenefits to belonging to the VA.
(18:22):
Then they don't.
They don't understand therecould be free cars, adaptive
housing, housing with ramps, andthere's you can't drive, or a
house.
If you can't afford a house, ifyou're under certain conditions
, you can apply to become ahomeowner for free, but you've
got to be rated, you've got tohave that VA rating.
And then if you've got PTSD andyou're impatient and you don't
(18:45):
want to work with it.
That can be some struggle forthe veterans.
Speaker 5 (18:49):
I just think that's so sad, though I know Like I
think it's again, it's just oneof the biggest injustices in a
world full of injustices.
But that is how our veterans,not how all veterans, but I mean
I do feel like it's a largepercentage of veterans, yeah you
can hear the horror stories,Especially with me.
Speaker 3 (19:07):
I did well, but I had prepared for it and I kind of
knew what was.
That was a good problem that Ihad, which was the person who
was supposed to help me was notaround and wouldn't help me, and
so I when and figured it out onmy own.
I went into the right which Idon't recommend because it's a
big.
It's like you know, you go tothe tax man, you give me taxes,
but I had to figure out a wholelot of things on my own.
(19:28):
I had the time to do it and ittook me a while and I got
paperwork and I cannot readreally well relatively fast
which was five months out, but alot of them don't have that
ability to read and have thetime to go through the
regulation.
The best thing to do is reallyget a good veteran service
officer that that will put thestuff in that represents you it
(19:50):
right your advocate, youradvocate, get the good
advocate.
It could be the american legion, it could be the bfw, it could
be a whole it but and get themthat are certified and know what
they're doing.
Mine wasn't around but I did it, but yeah, that's the biggest
takeaway is get a goodrepresentative to represent you
and just stick with it, becauseonce you put that paperwork in,
(20:10):
that's where it starts.
Once it's stamped, that's whereit starts, that's where you get
your back pay and so.
But I just try to try toencourage folks to try to hang
in there, because it's much morethan just your money monthly
and your health care right.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
What would you say is one of your biggest lessons you
learn from your years in themilitary?
Speaker 3 (20:27):
oh just show up at the right place at the right
time with the right attitude,even if you don't know a damn
thing, and you'll be doing much,much, much better than most
people.
Because when I showed up withthe right place, with having the
right attitude, um, that it maybe short a little earlier so
you can talk to some people inthe meetings and get a, get a
personal basis with them.
That'll help you out a lot aswell.
(20:49):
And and even if you don't knowwhat, what a lot of ambiguity
out there in the military, lotof times we don't know what
we're going to be doing or wherewe're going, and and you may
not know what to do and you, yougot to form together as a team.
And if you show up and you havea good attitude, maybe even 10
minutes before meeting or aformation, and just get on a
personal level before the anyinstructions occur, is my
(21:10):
biggest takeaway I think that'sa really good lesson.
Speaker 5 (21:13):
That's a life lesson just to go up, have a positive
attitude and do what it yeah,and do what you need to do, yeah
exactly.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
The leaders will take note of it and stay true to
your core and, whoever you are,be that person, because they'll
they'll know a fake in our beat.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
That's so true did you start writing your book
while you were in the military?
Was it after you got out youdecided to write a book?
Speaker 3 (21:34):
it was after I got out.
They had been nagging on me inthe military to do it, but I
definitely wanted to be out ofthat military before I did,
because there's just so manydeep, dark secrets and things
and so right but then I, Ididn't mean, I, I did not arrive
.
Look, I don't know how to work,but I, I felt the english of all
and so that is my, and englishis my worst subject.
(21:55):
Writing and reading are myworst subjects, and I'm from the
south.
We say y'all, not you.
I mean there's just so manydifferent vernettes and we spell
phonetically yeah, exactly.
Yeah, I mean south keralasculces were 49th in the country
and the only one lower than usis mississippi.
So yeah, but I wanted to getthe stories out and I wanted to
put that out for folks because Iwas a storied character in a
(22:17):
way and I thought I had somesomething to give back to folks.
That is not just life lessonsand just oh my god type of
things.
Speaker 4 (22:26):
It's uh, she versus well, funny stuff that occurred
and and just everything of lifethat's all wrapped up in a
military memoir biography andhas the army moved on in that
it's more supportive of peoplewith learning disabilities, or
is it a better environment to bein these days, because I'm sure
people are more aware ofeverybody learning differently?
Speaker 3 (22:46):
in those days it was not heard of at all.
I didn't hear anybody say and Inever did, except one time that
I had a problem learning andbut I don't know if it is
because you're supposed to becompetent in your basic skills
before you go in and I don't.
I don't know if that is broughtup to the like.
If you go to a college you canlike an idea.
(23:07):
Later on I figured out that youcan get an educational
psychologist to write a letterfor you so you have extra time
or space or place.
But in the military I'd neversaw that happen.
I haven't heard of thathappening.
Uh, yeah, in the military.
Speaker 6 (23:19):
I think about when you're younger is such a shame
because I do that.
I do educational testing now,so I diagnosed like dyslexia and
dysgraphia my old like that.
Back then, though it wasn'theard of, and if you had slow
processing speed, you were justslow, you know, which meant like
, yeah, you're just not smart,so you're slow.
And so now there's so mucheducation about that and so much
testing that occurs and peopleyou know students get the
(23:39):
services that they need.
But it's sad to think that, likeyou probably missed that
because of the generation thatwe are up and you know the fact
that you could have had thoselike skills to like, but it put
you where you were, which is agood thing, obviously, but, um,
it's just great that there'smore supports and things and
information about that now yeah,it was in the 90s when I got my
(23:59):
second master's degree.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
Uh, and I did find out just by reading and things
are just talking to people thatand I did get extra time on the
graduate record exam and I didget extra time on that second
master's degree, but uh, yeah,and I and I had to study for it
as well and I and I studied, Igot a private, I hired a private
tutor to tutor me through the g, re and uh and I just did
(24:21):
slightly below average just bydoing all that work and having
that extra time, but I was ableto do it but it shows, with
dedication and passion andbelief in yourself, like you
mentioned earlier, that you cando this.
Speaker 5 (24:33):
Like you, a label is a label.
It doesn't go to the core and,like, the purpose of how driven
you are, yeah, and I think thatthat's such an amazing thing is
because we now hear all thesedifferent labels and and you
have to stay in this little likethis is your category now and
to show that you can.
(24:53):
That actually is not the rightway to do it.
Like, if you have a strongbelief in yourself and you know
you can do it, whether you learndifferently or not, and you can
do it and you can make animpact and not have to stay with
just a label.
Right, I think that's amazing,yeah, and I.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
I had a label until I went to army and then I said,
well, I'm gonna break, I'm gonnabreak it.
Speaker 5 (25:17):
No, but I think that's what's so encouraging
about your story, you know,because there's so many of those
out there that have gonethrough the same struggles and
just see that, no, okay, youhave to take a moment, but with
self confidence and you justsaying, no, I, I want better,
I'm gonna do better and I'mgonna get better yeah, and I did
(25:40):
.
Speaker 3 (25:40):
I got better and better and better, and so far,
what?
The world?
You got this, but as it, shouldbe as it should be.
Speaker 6 (25:50):
So I encourage you to go back to school or to go get
the degrees like what?
What was that choice?
Speaker 3 (25:55):
so to become senior in the military or in the army,
where you had to get a master'sdegree.
And so I went ahead and chose,well, a second master's degree,
and my wife was saying you oughtto get a phd, and I'm, and I
was still like no, I was like Ican just let me get another
master's degree into my area.
But education.
I felt that was a key to awhole lot of things I love to me
(26:18):
and I I took it pretty serious,as you can imagine, in college
and I enjoyed learning, I founda way to enjoy it, but I was
just slower at it.
I mean, even right now there'sa book I want to read, but I'm
just real slow at it and I haveto just methodically go through
the process.
But it's not like I'm goingthrough 10 books a year at all.
I'll go through one and I'mlearning and just, and I was a
(26:39):
bit creative as a leader and Ihad a creative strength to me
and I applied, I would apply theinformation.
One of my professor said youknow, one little piece of
information that's applied isbetter than one million
accumulated facts that are not.
Speaker 6 (26:53):
Yes, and then I would find ways to apply things that
I learned it may just be one ortwo things and that worked out
pretty well for me so for peoplewho struggled with, like maybe
the same things that you had todeal with with, you know the
reading and writing things likethat what would you tell them?
Like, what advice would yougive people to keep them moving
forward?
Just like you will motivate itkeep a motivated.
Speaker 3 (27:14):
If there was a recommendation from memory
university and my mother andfather did do it, but if you
could get him specialized intoan area, there might be a
particular piece of instructionwhere you could go and learn
reading comprehension muchbetter.
Maybe play and try to get intothat specific school or training
or certificate, if you can dothat.
And then, of course, if there'sclip notes or a bridge
(27:37):
diversions to the book of thematerial, do that.
Whatever is a summary and thenwhen you're in a classroom I
would sit at the front and bethe one of the first ones and
show that the professor thatyou're interested in, that
you're a serious student, to theprofessor there's also
personality dynamics going to aclass.
So those are the few tips.
I would take a lot of copiousnotes with a recorder and then
(28:00):
after my class instruction Iwould immediately review it for
five minutes only, and I wouldonly go in 10 to 15 minutes
segments and sometimes I wouldchange my location where I was
physically at present orsometime.
I found a way it was kind of ananimalistic skill of eating and
drinking anything while you'rereading or studying, because
(28:20):
there's sensations that aregoing on, you're learning and if
you've got the pizza or somesweet tea or whatever, whatever
you like, and you're reading andstudying.
That help me a lot as well.
Three by five cards do wonders,just multi-modal, incredibly
self aware that.
Speaker 4 (28:38):
did you like to do, come up with those things
yourself?
Or did you have somebody thatwould eventually say try this,
try this?
Speaker 3 (28:44):
Well, I had to.
There was a tape out vhsrecorder.
Where there's a wheel, there'san a is in the letter, great.
And I have a chapter on wherethere's a wheel, there's an a
and I sort of sum it up on howthe world I did that and I wrote
notes down from that tape andthen applied them in my studies
and Help down one.
(29:05):
And a lot of people think, well,I got to spend a lot of time
driving.
Well, I found a recorder and Iwould just listen to a recording
of my voice.
Yes, so I got that on my own.
And just creativity and slowlooking at it, where there's a
wheel, there's an a, and then Iwould apply.
Sometimes I would touch thepaper, I would physically touch
the paper, I would read it andthen I would record myself and
then sometimes, well, you haveto drive to class, drive
(29:27):
somewhere, and I just push therecorder on while I was driving
and I would hear myself as well.
That would give me some extratime to rehash and it was a.
Usually it was multiplerehearsals and relooks.
Usually when the test time came, there was no cramming for me.
I knew I was gonna make an athen.
So, because it's just a andeverybody else was running
around.
At the last minute I was.
(29:48):
I was like I'm fine, you know,I'll go out and drink some beer,
you know I love the fact thatyou really overcame when you
learned ways you didn't.
Speaker 6 (29:57):
Yes, yes, yes, yes, where?
Yeah, like okay, well, I've gotthis, so I can't do it.
You like, okay, I've got this,but I've got to find ways to do
better and ever come and it'smore work.
Speaker 3 (30:06):
I did, even though I have the book.
A soldier against all odds.
There was one odd.
There was one thing I was on myside, my father believed in me
and he was a good father, goodleader and yet a good influence
on me, and I think and he camefrom a very, very white trash,
eating dumpster food type of apoor Time rags on your feet poor
and he said we know, I made itwell and that means you can make
(30:28):
it well and there's no way Icould have compared.
I was never hungry, I never hadto steal food, what there was
in.
I was looking at someone whowas worse off than me, thinking
you know, you know he's myexample and he had a much worse
than I did.
So I think I can do somethingamazing yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
I think that's important have someone believe
in you, whether it's your parent, ask each other, or.
I think that just having thatperson that believes in you to,
especially when you're young, togive you that confidence, to
Not just say, hey, I've gotthese issues, I can't, I can't
do this.
I think that's important.
Speaker 3 (30:56):
Have somebody tells you can hear her he believed in
me and I get surprised, which Ikind of enjoy out of it.
It's a problem is this up oneof his, one of his favorite
things with son?
Speaker 5 (31:05):
you surprise a lot he would say that that's always a
good thing when you think theprice of your head and a good
way.
Speaker 2 (31:12):
It was a good way, yeah, good way so, with your,
your first book, how long didthe second book come?
Speaker 3 (31:19):
to be.
Well, the first, the first book, was hell.
I was about two and a halfthree years.
That was more of thevulnerability issue with.
The second book came out withinsix months because we had
something to go by.
We had the veteransadministration regulation which
we broke down and the lakes toit, and then my knowledge of
knowing how to proceed throughit, and so we had something to
go by with this book toformulate that, and I have a
(31:41):
ghost writer who knows me verywell.
But no, that was the.
That was quick.
I'm working on a third book aswell, and so once you got a good
ghost writer who knows youwhich that took a lot of
breaking ground to get someoneto know you and understand your
lingo and your, and then thesecond and the third and maybe
more than that is more.
It seems to be much moresimpler, easier.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
That's awesome, great .
Well, we are reallyappreciative of your.
I think that you are definitelyan inspiration to others,
especially just showing thatthose challenges can make you
stronger, and we are againthankful for you and will
definitely list your books onthe podcast.
Speaker 5 (32:17):
We put it out and Thank you for service yeah,
thank you for what you do andwhat you're continuing to do.
You're welcome.
Appreciate being on your show.
Speaker 3 (32:25):
Yeah, giving hope to many, and I have this is about,
is about inspiration, and hopeis what I'm selling here.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 5 (32:32):
Thank you so much.
Say go Otter.
Speaker 3 (32:34):
Thank you, take care.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
I was ready for you to ask about aliens.
I did too.
When he said secrets, I waslike.
Speaker 5 (32:40):
I know, but I mean, you guys told me not to ask
about aliens.
I was ready.
Speaker 6 (32:45):
When he said secrets, I was like oh, here comes,
ashley, you did Waiting.
Speaker 4 (32:49):
I'm proud of you for not asking.
Speaker 6 (32:51):
I thought you were going to ask.
Speaker 4 (32:52):
They meant to restrain.
Speaker 5 (32:52):
I wanted to that took so bad, I needed you to do it.
Speaker 6 (32:56):
I was waiting for you to be like so can you please
tell us?
You guys told me I couldn't.
What life is there, alan, I?
Speaker 4 (33:01):
didn't think it ever.
He's sweet.
How old is he?
Is he all?
Speaker 2 (33:04):
right, he's much older.
Speaker 4 (33:06):
Is he?
Because he said he was 30 yearsold and he was 17.
He's pretty recently out.
Speaker 6 (33:10):
I'm thinking he's in his 60s 50s, 60s, I was saying,
but he said he joined when hewas 17.
Speaker 4 (33:16):
And he was 32 years.
Speaker 6 (33:19):
But he said that he went to.
Speaker 5 (33:21):
But that's when he served for 32 years.
Speaker 6 (33:23):
Okay, he's been out since the 90s right.
Speaker 5 (33:27):
Yeah, and that was during when he was there he was
in his 60s.
He was in his 60s.
He was in his 60s.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
He was in his 60s.
Speaker 5 (33:34):
He was like wow, he ever came a lot.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
I can't even imagine that's exactly how I had to
learn.
Speaker 6 (33:39):
That's how you.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
Yeah, I'm a terrible reader and writer Terrible.
Speaker 6 (33:42):
Well, I think I had to record my voice back then.
And versus now.
Speaker 4 (33:45):
You know, there's like Dragon speak and there's
audio books and there's so muchmore that we have so much more
but back then.
Speaker 6 (33:51):
It was like yeah, you just felt like my dad was
undyced.
Speaker 4 (33:53):
I was like yeah, I was like yeah, I was like, yeah,
I was like yeah, I was like.
Speaker 6 (33:56):
I was like yeah, I was like wow, that's all I had.
Speaker 5 (34:01):
But back then it was like yeah, you just felt like
yeah, undyced Dislexic, yeah,yeah, I'm definitely diagnosed
Dislex, yeah, and so, like wetalk about it all the time,
because Steven, my oldest, wasdiagnosed and he is dyslexic,
yeah, and so he did like he,like he would learn best with a
(34:22):
white board written in green andall of that stuff, and so I do
you do hate it for those thathad to struggle and it was just
okay.
Well, you're slow, like youtalked about him.
Speaker 6 (34:34):
I was the same way.
I remember reading college.
Speaker 5 (34:36):
That's what my dad would say.
He was like yeah I know myteachers would just say oh, he's
slow.
Speaker 6 (34:41):
Slow meaning dumb, right yeah.
Speaker 5 (34:44):
Like seriously one of the smartest, not just because
he's my father, but likeseriously so successful, super
smart.
But it's because I know, evenwith my boys before they, you
know, we had them tested Likethey were trying to figure out
how to learn and find their ownway.
But just to go through lifethinking, you know, because I
(35:05):
feel like at that era, when youwere said to be slow, quote
unquote, you were kind of justpushed to the side.
Like it wasn't like okay so wefeel like you're slow in
learning, but we're going tohelp you.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
It's like no, you're written off Right.
Speaker 5 (35:26):
He could have definitely slipped through the
cracks if he had been sodetermined.
Yeah, he has to have.
Oh, yeah, and I just I thinkthat it's that's such a good
lesson for anyone, in any genreand any profession or any level
or stage in their life is thatthe odds were stacked against
him.
He talked about his family and,coming from you know very, very
(35:47):
little to have the like, theself-awareness that, no, I think
I'm better than this.
Speaker 4 (35:57):
And I think I can be better yeah.
Speaker 6 (36:02):
So I mean I think One slow doesn't mean.
Yeah, I remember I would be onlike problem 10 and everybody
started in their test, you know,and I'm like what is?
Wrong with me.
Like I studied, I know this,but it's just, it wasn't about
knowing it was just processingspeed.
Yeah, you process differently,so yeah, yeah, I think a lot of
people have that whole.
They want everything to bedifferent and changed, versus
(36:22):
just being accepted, and so tome, he was accepted.
He accepted his limitations,but he overcame them by working
harder.
Speaker 5 (36:31):
With determination.
Speaker 6 (36:32):
Yeah, this is what I need to do, to work harder.
Speaker 5 (36:34):
Instead of just being like okay.
I have this With a label orwhatever, and just yeah, like
putting yourself on the shelf.
Yeah, now you know to have like.
Okay, I learned different or Ihave different experiences.
I've had a different upbringing.
I've had horrible things happenin my life, right Pushing
through, figuring out how toturn a negative into a positive
(36:58):
Right.
Speaker 4 (37:00):
I must be so hard like to hear you know that
you're slow, or like that,lingering in the back of your
head all the time of feelinglike, because those are the
experts at the time, yourteachers.
Speaker 5 (37:10):
You were so good.
Of course they didn't do befair, they didn't know any
difference.
No, I felt.
No, I mean it was, it was justYou're taking on.
Speaker 4 (37:17):
Absolutely.
They didn't have the knowledge.
I feel like it was changing alittle bit when I was in school,
but it still wasn't there.
But, like I think about myuncle, my uncle wrote with his
left hand, but he was beaten towrite with his right hand.
Speaker 5 (37:30):
I'm left handed and I was.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
Automatic brightness off.
Speaker 5 (37:35):
Hello, I what, like my teachers, literally tried to
change my handwriting.
Speaker 4 (37:43):
Which is the?
Speaker 5 (37:43):
reason that I can do most things with both hands.
It'd be the extra.
When I would play tennis Ididn't have a backhand.
I can write now, now, later inlife yeah, Because you know I'm
39.
So, but when I was younger youwould not be able to tell which
hand I was writing with.
That's crazy, Because they mademe make sure, because you know,
(38:05):
back then you had writinglessons.
Speaker 1 (38:08):
That was a class, like you, would have the lines
yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (38:10):
Like in elementary school, you would have to.
Speaker 5 (38:13):
Yeah, you would have to like tilt that everything had
to be perfection.
I had to learn because Irefused to write with my right
hand, so I learned how to writelike a right handed person with
my left hand.
Speaker 4 (38:27):
So hard Yep.
Speaker 2 (38:27):
And you should write Imagine everything.
Speaker 4 (38:30):
Imagine everything it drove me crazy.
Speaker 5 (38:32):
Well, the desks were Right hand desks.
Yeah, they had the right handdesk, so I had to.
And then like think about thesilliest things, scissors.
Yeah, back in the day, like inHellmac, you didn't you had the
scissors that were indented.
And it would like cause notthat I'm Hellmac, what?
Let's not, let's be honest, Iam not a sewer, but like I would
(38:58):
get like blisters, blisters onmy thumb, cause I cause every
like they.
Yeah, cause it was supposed tobe like bad if you were left
handed.
Speaker 4 (39:09):
There is a thing I know.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
I always said left handed people are cool.
I said it.
Speaker 6 (39:14):
I always want to write with my left hand.
Super cool, I think they'remore intelligent.
Speaker 4 (39:17):
I can write with my left hand a little bit.
Speaker 5 (39:19):
Yeah, I know, I like.
I said I haven't done it inyears, but I used to like you
would not be able to tell if Iwas writing left handed or right
handed.
Like I just made myself learnInteresting.
And I remember my grandmother.
She would sit with me at hertable and cause she had the most
beautiful handwriting and sheknew cause.
I'm pretty sure my mom was lefthanded and they made her.
Speaker 2 (39:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (39:40):
Right handed and I remember she would sit there
with me and just okay, you knowyou have to loop this and it'll
look this way and make sureyou're slant, yeah, so when?
Speaker 4 (39:49):
you think about it now?
They don't even learn to writelike this.
Speaker 5 (39:52):
They don't even know how to write like that they
can't do cursive at all.
Yeah, I don't think I, my kidscan't read my writing, cause I
write in cursive all the timewhere it's got writes in block.
Yeah, the kids don't understandmy block letters looks like
that Mine look pathetic too.
Speaker 6 (40:06):
Yeah, block just takes so much time from me.
My writing in general is so bad?
Speaker 5 (40:09):
I mean, it has gotten bad, you're a doctor, that's
why, I know I was
Speaker 4 (40:13):
like you're a doctor.
Speaker 5 (40:14):
You're not supposed to have a good writing.
Speaker 4 (40:16):
Yeah, just don't have a good handwriting.
They are the brains.
Speaker 6 (40:19):
Did you take typing?
Speaker 4 (40:20):
Yes, yes, mavis Beaton typing.
Speaker 6 (40:23):
We don't do that now.
Why?
Speaker 4 (40:24):
do they know they don't, cause they figured out.
You can do it just as fast withyour two fingers instead of you
like putting your hands up on apiano.
Speaker 5 (40:31):
The girls at my store laugh at me so hard when I type
cause I, or like I text cause Ione finger.
Speaker 4 (40:36):
Oh yeah, my mom's a one finger, oh my.
Speaker 5 (40:37):
God, yes, I can, I can't do that.
Really Don't do two fingers.
Speaker 6 (40:41):
No, two thumbs, yes, two thumbs.
Speaker 4 (40:43):
I actually have my pointer.
Thumbs more next.
Speaker 5 (40:44):
No, I do it with my pointer finger and I'll be like
my mom does it with her pointerfinger.
Speaker 2 (40:49):
My mom's like does they hit the?
Speaker 5 (40:51):
bell.
This is why Ashley loves emojis, I think.
I do love emojis.
Speaker 2 (40:55):
Just the right ones, guys.
Speaker 5 (40:57):
I know now that I know what some of them mean.
Speaker 2 (40:59):
Yes, exactly, I give thumbs up a lot more now,
actually, since I've been doingmy stuff.
Oh, mm-hmm, oh yeah.
Speaker 5 (41:04):
It's crazy.
I know I could seriously.
I've said this before, I willsay it again I can write an
entire book with emojis andyou're gonna know exactly what
I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (41:11):
I would.
Others are gonna think you'resaying something completely
different.
Speaker 5 (41:14):
Well, that could be it, but in my mind it's fabulous
and that is really all thatmatters.
In my mind, my emojis lightenthe mood they make you giggle.
Yes, you can roll your eyes.
I only think you're giggling.
Speaker 6 (41:27):
Yeah, so that's really all that matters.
So have you tried the thumbtexting or no?
Never.
Speaker 5 (41:32):
I have, and it's a night.
I look like it looks likesomething weird is going on.
Speaker 4 (41:36):
I don't know how you text with your nails anyway.
Well, that's true, I know I dohave really long nails, but now
I use my pointer finger and I'malways like hi, how are you?
Speaker 5 (41:45):
Oh, that didn't work out.
Hi, how are you?
I mean it might take me fiveminutes to say how are you?
Cause I'm deleting and but, butthen I'll throw an emoji in and
I feel better.
Speaker 4 (41:57):
Well, that's Siri thing is the one that drives me
inside the voice to text.
Speaker 2 (42:01):
She never understands anything I say no, I send some
crazy texts cause I do all talkto text.
She's like yeah, I don't evenknow how to do that, you don't.
Speaker 6 (42:09):
That's the easiest thing.
She's like okay, but this okay.
Speaker 5 (42:13):
I can just tell you guys right now, as we all know,
this is the reason I'm part ofthis podcast, because you guys
are educating me.
Because no, the only way that Iknow how to text with my voice
is if I hit the littlemicrophone.
Speaker 4 (42:26):
Yeah, but there's a blue like sand wave on your.
You know where your emojis are.
There's a blue sand wave comesup on your text message.
Speaker 5 (42:32):
I am going to hold on one second.
Speaker 4 (42:34):
I said this to my mom the other day I was like but
you can talk to text, like Icouldn't find my phone to text
you.
I'm just go well, I'll say hey,sorry, I'm saying it quietly.
So, like you can like so.
Speaker 5 (42:44):
So you go to your text message there.
Okay, so text message Pick upit.
Speaker 4 (42:49):
Yeah, and then this blue thing here, this oh sorry,
I can't do it with my glasses.
Yeah, there you go.
Add recipient to send an audio.
So put Trisha in.
Speaker 2 (43:01):
Trisha.
See, I don't know how you dothe audio messages.
I do talk to text.
See, you guys are trying toshow me something that doesn't
work.
Speaker 4 (43:10):
Okay, there's Trisha at eye class right Now.
Send your little messages tapthe microphone.
I love you emoji.
You have to tap the microphone.
Speaker 5 (43:18):
Oh see, this is too much, you got to tap stuff.
Speaker 4 (43:22):
Oh, this is a voicemail I love you emoji.
Well, that's the voice text.
Sorry, I mean I gave you thewrong one.
That's just send a voice textmessage.
This is the reason.
Speaker 5 (43:31):
I don't do it.
Speaker 4 (43:32):
Because there's too many options.
Speaker 5 (43:33):
I use my pointer finger An emojis.
Speaker 4 (43:37):
And the send because that's a voice text you send her
.
But if you want to let go, hey,Trisha, don't forget to bring
the wine Period.
Speaker 5 (43:46):
Period, period.
We don't call them periods athome, oh so yeah, because you
hit that little thing rightthere, right, yeah, so what's
the difference between that withthe big microphone and the
bottom?
Speaker 4 (43:54):
It's the same thing that talks to text.
It's the same thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5 (43:59):
Yeah, so funny, I freaking hate technology.
Speaker 2 (44:03):
I know, I already know Cheers to showing up and
having a good attitude.
Speaker 5 (44:06):
Yep, there we are, and me not talking about aliens,
cheers.
Speaker 1 (44:11):
Thank you for joining the ladies of the Middle
Age-ish podcast as they journeythrough the ups and downs of
this not young, but definitelynot old season of life.
To hear past episodes or makesuggestions for future episodes,
visit wwwmiddleagishcom.
That's wwwmiddleagishcom.
(44:33):
You can follow along on socialmedia at MiddleAge-ish.
Also, if you have a moment, toleave a review rate and
subscribe.
That helps others find the showand we greatly appreciate it.
Once again, thank you so muchfor joining us and we'll catch
you in the next episode of theMiddle Age-ish podcast.
You, you, you, you, you, you,you, you, you, you, you, you,
(59:35):
you, you, you, you.
Welcome to the Middle-Age-ish podcast,
authentically andunapologetically, keeping it
real, discussing all thingsmiddle-age-ish, a time when
metabolism slows and confidencegrows.
Join fashion and fitnessentrepreneur Ashley Badosky,
former Celtic woman and founderof the Lisa Kelly Voice Academy,
lisa Kelly, licensedpsychologist and mental health
(00:24):
expert, dr Pam Wright, andhighly sought-after cosmetic
injector and board certifiednurse practitioner, trisha
Kennedy-Roman.
Join your hosts on the journeyof Middle-Age-ish.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode
of Middle-Age-ish podcast.
I'm Trisha Kennedy-Roman andI'm joined here today with my
co-host, ashley Badosky, lisaKelly and Dr Pam Wright.
And today we are honored tohave with us Lieutenant Colonel
Jason Pike, who has served overthree decades in the Army and is
a decorated combat veteran andhas written two books.
One is Soldier Against All Oddsand the other one is Out of
(01:01):
Uniform Back in a Civilian Life.
So we are excited to talk tohim just about his long military
career as well as his books.
So welcome to our show.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
Thank you so much for coming on, so excited oh yeah,
it's been something else gettingthese books out and going on to
my passion right now andcreativity, but yeah, it was a
long time in the Army Awesome.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Well, thank you for your service.
We were talking just about whata sacrifice it is and how much
we appreciated how much we wouldnot be able to hang with being
in the military, so we have alot of admiration for those who
can't Amen to that.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Yes, Well, I nearly got kicked out myself three
different times, but that's inmy book.
Speaker 4 (01:37):
Oh, that's juicy, though, I know yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
It's very juicy.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
No, yeah.
Speaker 5 (01:44):
So how did you pick the path of military?
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Well, there was not a whole lot of options.
Academics were out of thequestion.
But I did get three collegedegrees but it was just I don't
know.
I was not a criminal and I wasstill.
I was physically fit and Ithink I could have passed the
entrance exam and but no, thatwas because there just wasn't
much options.
Or I was from a small towncalled Fingerville, south
(02:08):
Carolina, which is a town inSouth Carolina, northern
Spartanburg County.
So that's kind of why I kind ofput my foot in the door.
So yeah, that's kind of howthat worked.
Speaker 5 (02:17):
So what kept you?
Because I mean, like Trishasaid, you were there.
You served for over threedecades and we appreciate anyone
who serves, but you made it acareer and led you to where you
are now.
So, like, how did you just Imean not to sound cheesy, but
stay in the fight.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
Oh, there was just so many benefits I found out.
It was not just the retirementsystem, which is an excellent
retirement system, but it wasthe travel and the opportunities
to see other things, othercultures and people that I would
never been able to have seen ifI didn't join.
So once I got in I was thinkingyou know, this is this might be
a pretty good deal for a longterm career.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Right and you lived in multiple countries, correct?
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Oh wow, five different countries, nearly nine
years overseas.
We got Germany, got Afghanistan, el Salvador, korea, a lot of
time in South Korea and someother countries that I can't
talk about, but a lot of my timewas overseas.
That's amazing.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
So I know you mentioned your multiple degrees,
which is awesome, because Iknow just by reading you know
your bio that you had a lot ofdifficulties when you were
younger, so I think that that'sreally cool.
I mean, you were definitely anovercomer with that.
Can you tell us a little bitabout your journey through and
how that came about?
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Yeah, I surprised the hell out of my family.
There are no doubt about that.
And my high school counselor too.
But no, I was learning,identified when I was seven
years old as someone that was aSloan learner.
There was a term floatingaround called dyslexia, but it
wouldn't diagnosed officially onthat, Even after I had my
(03:52):
college degrees.
A standardized test to me andany type of instruction.
I think all your viewers outthere can change a tire much
better than me.
I mean, if you give me thepractice to do something, I can
do it, but I have to work at itharder and I'm slower Right and
a lot of people are like youknow.
I mean, you don't know how to doit, but no, I had to work.
I had to work at it and a goodquestion would be how in the
(04:12):
hell did you join the Army?
Because you have to pass abasic entrance exam and I
started in the National Guard,which was the less than best.
We were weekend warriors, oneweekend a month, two weeks a
year, drinking beer and goofingoff.
But they used to call us nastygirls no goes things of that
nature.
But I saw I went in at.
The very bottom is rank andeducation.
(04:33):
I went into a junior collegeand I got my basics up and then
I went transfer over to areputable college, plimpson
University.
So I started real slow andmethodical and just kind of
worked my way in that way oneducation, which was to me even
to this day is difficult for me.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
So you started out, then enlisted and then you ended
up obviously as LieutenantColonel, so kind of went in and
made it work yeah made it work.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
Yeah, then they're in the reviews of the first book,
a Soldier Against All Odds.
There's folks that knew me andsays he's surprised the hell out
of me and I kind of like thiswas kind of fun to surprise
everybody about what I'm doing.
And just I wouldn't know, I wasa quiet guy.
I started talking a lot lateron in life, maybe after some of
my siblings said I didn't starttalking until I was age 30 or my
(05:23):
confidence was low.
Speaker 5 (05:24):
Oh, that's sibling.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
But yeah, it was just a slow, methodical and in many
times a painful process.
Once I got in, I see I almostgot kicked out when I was age 17
.
I had failed.
I was older than most people inhigh school and I never said
anything about me failing thefirst grade and having problems
learning.
My high school counselor knewabout it and some others, but
for the most part it was keptsort of a secret.
(05:50):
I guess each 17,.
I almost got thrown out.
I went into a criminalcorrectional facility, not
because I did anything criminalin the army, it was just because
I wasn't able to drink the damnwater that was coming out of
that fire hose.
It was coming too fast.
You had to learn things quicklyand I was one of the worst ones
there.
And it was a motivationalprogram criminal correctional
(06:10):
facility.
They made big rocks in thesmall rocks and climbed obstacle
courses and it was a shit stone.
It was much, much more advancedthan just a much more degree of
hill.
And I come out of thatgraduated basic training when I
was 18.
And in my brain at that timeI'm thinking I think I can do a
whole lot more because I peoplejust don't understand what I
(06:32):
just went through and I startedgaining a little bit more
confidence.
Got my first girlfriend afterthat, but so, but yeah.
So things started working outreal.
So I said well, I think I cango to college, and even though
they tell me I can't, that's theway I become a leader.
You got to get a college degree.
And so that's how that startedreal slow from a junior college,
(06:52):
yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
So you started in the military when you were 17?
, 17, I was still in high school.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
I had to even graduate.
We called nasty girls NationalGuard, I mean, you didn't have
to have a high school diploma,yeah, so I think they just
slipped me on through and I feelthat I probably failed the test
.
But they just weren't numbersand things but once I got my
foot in the door.
Once I got my foot in the door,it was in the door.
So yeah, a 17,.
(07:19):
I was a junior.
Well, yeah, I was a junior inhigh school.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
They don't do that.
Now.
You have to be older, don't youknow how to enlist.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
Definitely you need to have a high school diploma to
go into the army.
I don't know about the NationalGuard or the reserves, I don't
know if they'll let you inwithout a high school diploma or
a GED.
But at the time in the guard Ijust remember I had to get my
mom's signature.
I remember that and I was like,okay, she'll sign off on it,
(07:46):
but other than that, yeah, Idon't know these days.
Speaker 4 (07:50):
So which was scarier than like being in the army or
doing your college degree?
Speaker 3 (07:55):
Oh, I was scared to death walking into a college
classroom because that was aplace.
Oh yeah, it was well known thatthis is a place that's outlined
for me and but once I got thefirst semester of the second
semester, I started to slowlybuilding up the confidence.
I think, I can handle this andyou know it wasn't anything
technical, it was an education.
So I was on a slower path,maybe the five, five and a half
(08:16):
year program.
At the same time I was still inthe reserves or the National
Guard and then I'd be.
I got a ROTC scholarship.
I applied well, I applied onceand failed and got it on the
second try.
But I went to Clemson and wasable to get my degree in
agriculture education.
I was from a rural backgroundand that's what you needed.
(08:37):
You needed a bachelor degreeand that was my goal and I got
that.
I was able to get that.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
That's incredible.
Yeah, that's amazing.
So you tell them about gainingconfidence, but obviously, as
you went up in ranks, you wereresponsible for a lot of people
and a lot more people as it wenton, and so I can't imagine
having that responsibility ofhaving platoon or yeah, yeah,
kind of you're a young guy andyou're in charge of maybe 20, 30
, 40 people and they have a lotmore experience in you.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
But leadership was pounded into me early and I got
leadership pretty well as far asjust treating others like you
want to be treated, and to me itwas sort of common sense and
you give the task down to yoursubordinate leaders and they
allow them to carry it out, andI did well with that.
I did well with that.
So that was something that theytaught us to trust your leaders
(09:25):
and trust your subordinateleaders.
And I did well.
And I was never you canprobably detect I never thought
I was better than anyone.
I was.
I felt always blessed that Iwas in the position I was.
Speaker 5 (09:35):
Yeah, but those are the best leaders, I think, the
ones that continue to have ahumble heart and they lead by
example.
I think that that actuallyshows how you were able to
overcome what you did in move on.
I think that's so important.
I think in life, yeah, andnobody's better than anybody
else.
You've got to work just as hard, if not harder.
Speaker 4 (09:55):
And having the knowledge that you need to
continue learning as well tomake yourself better.
I always think it's because weall run our own businesses, but
I always feel it's nice to beable to sit back and listen to
others' opinions and take it onboard and not be so full of
yourself that you're notavailable to learn or listen or
gain some new knowledge all thetime.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Oh yeah, and I was definitely all for you know,
help me out, man, help me out, Idon't know.
But yeah, exactly, I agree withthat, for a hard time yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Point eight too just the fact that it didn't come
easy for you.
I think that that again is aleader who can understand other
struggles and be more of anencourager versus someone who
you know it is very natural andeasy for them.
I think that that would makeeven a stronger leader to
overcome those challenges, to beable to work hard to get where
you want it to be.
I think that's really cool.
Speaker 3 (10:40):
I was always empathetic with the folks that
did the work at the bottom,because I used to be there
myself.
Speaker 5 (10:45):
Right.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
Yeah, yeah, that's right.
They call that term Mustang inthe military, someone who came
from the lower ranks and made itup and I, yeah, exactly being
very humble.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Because is that common, you know, for people
that are enlisted?
I know there are I'm here inWarren officers and such but is
it common to then go back andbecome a commissioned officer?
Speaker 3 (11:04):
At the time it was not.
It's more common now.
They have programs where theytry to get enlisted to become
officers.
Well, I was in an era at thattime that it was not common and
once you're enlisted you sort ofhave the tendency to stay
enlisted because once you gobecome an officer you go down to
the, you're down at Butter Bar,which is the second lieutenant,
which is at the lowest of theofficers.
(11:25):
You're still in charge ofpeople and you're still higher
up there, make more money.
But still it's more commontoday that it was when I joined.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
So your book, I know, talks about some of the
struggles you went through workanyway and does it cover a lot
of events through your militarycareer as well.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
Yeah, I say pretty much goes into detail and I
pretty much I'm very, veryvulnerable with everything that
I've done good in the bad andthe ugly, which is really hard
to get.
The vulnerability thing,because I grew up in the south
as a man and you're in themilitary, you suck it up, you
take it all, you don't complain.
But in the book I pretty muchgave it all up and it's that was
(12:03):
the hard part of the book is tohave somebody work with you to
get the details of girlfriendproblems, car crashes, jealousy,
all the human rage, emotions,fun, all those things and just
pack them together as a life.
And that was real difficultbecause you got to think, well,
what are they going to thinkabout me?
And then I think that this andthat are destroy your
(12:25):
friendships.
So really that was the reallyhard part of the book is just
vomiting it out.
Speaker 5 (12:32):
But was it a healing process for you to be so raw and
vulnerable?
Speaker 3 (12:38):
Yeah, it was a healing process that I got over
a lot of things that I had hangups with Right, yes, there was a
healing process to this anddefinitely was.
Speaker 6 (12:49):
We talked about how it's so hard to adjust to coming
back to life here.
If you've been overseas oryou've been at war and there's
no other things.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Oh, that's tough yeah .
Speaker 6 (12:57):
So how is that for you?
I mean, was there like somePTSD?
Oh yeah, was there other thingsgoing on, or?
Oh, yeah, I burned.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
I got PTSD really later in my career, before I
even went to war.
I've got my PTSD from like amean girl event that occurred in
the military where I had abunch of false accusations that
were throwing against me forthings that I went through a
federal investigation ofespionage against the US
government.
But in organizations such or itcould be cliques or things if
(13:26):
things don't fall into place toowell with leaders, there's
things that they can do and Istarted developing PTSD later.
I was a senior military officer, lieutenant Colonel at the time
.
That was before I went toAfghanistan and then, of course,
my father's death inAfghanistan really solidified
that.
Yeah, and you talked aboutgetting out and the transition
(13:47):
and you think about all thosethings that you did overseas
doesn't have to do with war, itcould have to do with just being
a team member, could be thefoods, the taste, the smells and
all the things that.
And then you're back in Americaand you're on drive by Popeyes
and you feel like you're goingto throw up.
It's just, you know, you goback to all the other things
that were that you remember andsometimes you miss and kind of
(14:10):
wish that you were back.
But once you get the PTSD andthat forms in you and you're
getting burned, burned out.
Then that's the reason I gotout, was I needed to heal.
I need to find something toheal.
Speaker 6 (14:21):
And I think people don't realize how, because I've
worked with a lot of veteranswith PTSD like the little things
that can set them off it justcould be like a plastic bag
that's going across the road andthey think you know reminds
them of like a bomb or somethingyou know just little things
that can like, trigger thoselike thoughts and memories.
That can be yeah for me it was.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Yeah, it was loud noises for me and a backfire of
a car, things of that nature.
Any loud burst, even even mydaughter if she was to burst out
or you know, or iPod with somesound, it would give me a little
shock and reaction.
But I live now in thecountryside.
It was much more peaceful whereI have the nature going on.
But yeah, that's those thingscan.
(14:59):
They can trigger you and youmight go back.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Like that's what we really take for granted.
You know that you can't imaginehaving experienced those things
and having those type oftriggers and and be able to come
through it, you know such alarge, a large chunk of your
life to like.
Speaker 4 (15:18):
It always amazes me that you know people are kids
when they go into the army, likethey're 17 and 18.
You know, we have sons allaround the same age like.
I know they're not emotionallymature enough to handle sort of
anything really and you'rethinking that these four kids
are heading off into the armyand dealing with things that
they've never had to deal withbefore.
Speaker 5 (15:39):
It's just the sights that, yeah, the things that they
have to see, as you know, yeah.
Speaker 3 (15:44):
And a lot of them don't stay as long as I did.
They might go in for three orfour years and come back, and
they'll go back to their sametown and everything's changed.
They well, they've changed.
But also, other figure once,there's an old term called once
you leave, you can never comeback, and so they feel that
they're out of place.
But you know, they've changed,the people have changed and
they're different folks as well,and you have to establish,
(16:06):
wherever you want, your pattern.
I mean, they may have driventanks and rode in helicopters
just freely and wildly, and thennow they're bagging bags at
Walmart or something and they'relike what is this?
What's up?
What's up with this stuff?
And they don't feel thecamaraderie, they don't feel the
excitement.
I used to drive a tank or where, this, this, this, and now I'm
doing this, I'm driving a truck,driving, you know.
Speaker 4 (16:26):
So it's not the same thing.
And the hard thing, when youcome back as well, is you don't
realize that people have movedon as well.
So they've moved on away fromyou and you think you're longing
for something that was therelike two or three years ago.
And then you go back andeverybody else has continued on
with their life and you're likeoh, this is, this is different.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
Oh yeah, so this, this thing about suicide and
there's a whole lot of it's ananimal that we've been looking
at for over a year and lookingat for over 10 years or more
around it, so we haven't got ourhands wrapped around it.
Speaker 5 (16:54):
We'll, we'll, no yeah , cause that's what we were
talking about Just the focusneeding to be on the veterans
coming home and to make surethat they're taking care of
mentally, spiritually.
And there is, it seems I meanto a lay person who doesn't have
any background like you do justthe disappointment in how
veterans are treated and theagencies and the services that
(17:18):
they need, just for us hearing,if we even listen to the news.
You know how that has to be astruggle for someone like
yourself.
That you know, you did, youwere there for 31 years and you
went through that stuff to comehome or just to see other
veterans in those differentsituations.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
Yeah, because you come back home and you you deal
with the veterans administration.
And then I deal with theveterans administration in my
second book, out of uniform andback into civilian life.
I try to break it down forfolks.
It's more of a self-help guidewith links, and I do speak that
the veterans administration is adifficult beast.
It's the largest healthcareagency, a huge bureaucratic
(17:59):
organization that's difficult toget through just because
there's so many differenthurdles.
And I try to tell them to stickwith it, just like anything
else in life, and to work withit the best you can.
Because a lot of folks think,well, that's where my money is
going to come from or wherethat's where my healthcare is
going to come from, and it mightbe, there's got to be, yes, but
there's second and third orderbenefits to belonging to the VA.
(18:22):
Then they don't.
They don't understand therecould be free cars, adaptive
housing, housing with ramps, andthere's you can't drive, or a
house.
If you can't afford a house, ifyou're under certain conditions
, you can apply to become ahomeowner for free, but you've
got to be rated, you've got tohave that VA rating.
And then if you've got PTSD andyou're impatient and you don't
(18:45):
want to work with it.
That can be some struggle forthe veterans.
Speaker 5 (18:49):
I just think that's so sad, though I know Like I
think it's again, it's just oneof the biggest injustices in a
world full of injustices.
But that is how our veterans,not how all veterans, but I mean
I do feel like it's a largepercentage of veterans, yeah you
can hear the horror stories,Especially with me.
Speaker 3 (19:07):
I did well, but I had prepared for it and I kind of
knew what was.
That was a good problem that Ihad, which was the person who
was supposed to help me was notaround and wouldn't help me, and
so I when and figured it out onmy own.
I went into the right which Idon't recommend because it's a
big.
It's like you know, you go tothe tax man, you give me taxes,
but I had to figure out a wholelot of things on my own.
(19:28):
I had the time to do it and ittook me a while and I got
paperwork and I cannot readreally well relatively fast
which was five months out, but alot of them don't have that
ability to read and have thetime to go through the
regulation.
The best thing to do is reallyget a good veteran service
officer that that will put thestuff in that represents you it
(19:50):
right your advocate, youradvocate, get the good
advocate.
It could be the american legion, it could be the bfw, it could
be a whole it but and get themthat are certified and know what
they're doing.
Mine wasn't around but I did it, but yeah, that's the biggest
takeaway is get a goodrepresentative to represent you
and just stick with it, becauseonce you put that paperwork in,
(20:10):
that's where it starts.
Once it's stamped, that's whereit starts, that's where you get
your back pay and so.
But I just try to try toencourage folks to try to hang
in there, because it's much morethan just your money monthly
and your health care right.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
What would you say is one of your biggest lessons you
learn from your years in themilitary?
Speaker 3 (20:27):
oh just show up at the right place at the right
time with the right attitude,even if you don't know a damn
thing, and you'll be doing much,much, much better than most
people.
Because when I showed up withthe right place, with having the
right attitude, um, that it maybe short a little earlier so
you can talk to some people inthe meetings and get a, get a
personal basis with them.
That'll help you out a lot aswell.
(20:49):
And and even if you don't knowwhat, what a lot of ambiguity
out there in the military, lotof times we don't know what
we're going to be doing or wherewe're going, and and you may
not know what to do and you, yougot to form together as a team.
And if you show up and you havea good attitude, maybe even 10
minutes before meeting or aformation, and just get on a
personal level before the anyinstructions occur, is my
(21:10):
biggest takeaway I think that'sa really good lesson.
Speaker 5 (21:13):
That's a life lesson just to go up, have a positive
attitude and do what it yeah,and do what you need to do, yeah
exactly.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
The leaders will take note of it and stay true to
your core and, whoever you are,be that person, because they'll
they'll know a fake in our beat.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
That's so true did you start writing your book
while you were in the military?
Was it after you got out youdecided to write a book?
Speaker 3 (21:34):
it was after I got out.
They had been nagging on me inthe military to do it, but I
definitely wanted to be out ofthat military before I did,
because there's just so manydeep, dark secrets and things
and so right but then I, Ididn't mean, I, I did not arrive
.
Look, I don't know how to work,but I, I felt the english of all
and so that is my, and englishis my worst subject.
(21:55):
Writing and reading are myworst subjects, and I'm from the
south.
We say y'all, not you.
I mean there's just so manydifferent vernettes and we spell
phonetically yeah, exactly.
Yeah, I mean south keralasculces were 49th in the country
and the only one lower than usis mississippi.
So yeah, but I wanted to getthe stories out and I wanted to
put that out for folks because Iwas a storied character in a
(22:17):
way and I thought I had somesomething to give back to folks.
That is not just life lessonsand just oh my god type of
things.
Speaker 4 (22:26):
It's uh, she versus well, funny stuff that occurred
and and just everything of lifethat's all wrapped up in a
military memoir biography andhas the army moved on in that
it's more supportive of peoplewith learning disabilities, or
is it a better environment to bein these days, because I'm sure
people are more aware ofeverybody learning differently?
Speaker 3 (22:46):
in those days it was not heard of at all.
I didn't hear anybody say and Inever did, except one time that
I had a problem learning andbut I don't know if it is
because you're supposed to becompetent in your basic skills
before you go in and I don't.
I don't know if that is broughtup to the like.
If you go to a college you canlike an idea.
(23:07):
Later on I figured out that youcan get an educational
psychologist to write a letterfor you so you have extra time
or space or place.
But in the military I'd neversaw that happen.
I haven't heard of thathappening.
Uh, yeah, in the military.
Speaker 6 (23:19):
I think about when you're younger is such a shame
because I do that.
I do educational testing now,so I diagnosed like dyslexia and
dysgraphia my old like that.
Back then, though it wasn'theard of, and if you had slow
processing speed, you were justslow, you know, which meant like
, yeah, you're just not smart,so you're slow.
And so now there's so mucheducation about that and so much
testing that occurs and peopleyou know students get the
(23:39):
services that they need.
But it's sad to think that, likeyou probably missed that
because of the generation thatwe are up and you know the fact
that you could have had thoselike skills to like, but it put
you where you were, which is agood thing, obviously, but, um,
it's just great that there'smore supports and things and
information about that now yeah,it was in the 90s when I got my
(23:59):
second master's degree.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
Uh, and I did find out just by reading and things
are just talking to people thatand I did get extra time on the
graduate record exam and I didget extra time on that second
master's degree, but uh, yeah,and I and I had to study for it
as well and I and I studied, Igot a private, I hired a private
tutor to tutor me through the g, re and uh and I just did
(24:21):
slightly below average just bydoing all that work and having
that extra time, but I was ableto do it but it shows, with
dedication and passion andbelief in yourself, like you
mentioned earlier, that you cando this.
Speaker 5 (24:33):
Like you, a label is a label.
It doesn't go to the core and,like, the purpose of how driven
you are, yeah, and I think thatthat's such an amazing thing is
because we now hear all thesedifferent labels and and you
have to stay in this little likethis is your category now and
to show that you can.
(24:53):
That actually is not the rightway to do it.
Like, if you have a strongbelief in yourself and you know
you can do it, whether you learndifferently or not, and you can
do it and you can make animpact and not have to stay with
just a label.
Right, I think that's amazing,yeah, and I.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
I had a label until I went to army and then I said,
well, I'm gonna break, I'm gonnabreak it.
Speaker 5 (25:17):
No, but I think that's what's so encouraging
about your story, you know,because there's so many of those
out there that have gonethrough the same struggles and
just see that, no, okay, youhave to take a moment, but with
self confidence and you justsaying, no, I, I want better,
I'm gonna do better and I'mgonna get better yeah, and I did
(25:40):
.
Speaker 3 (25:40):
I got better and better and better, and so far,
what?
The world?
You got this, but as it, shouldbe as it should be.
Speaker 6 (25:50):
So I encourage you to go back to school or to go get
the degrees like what?
What was that choice?
Speaker 3 (25:55):
so to become senior in the military or in the army,
where you had to get a master'sdegree.
And so I went ahead and chose,well, a second master's degree,
and my wife was saying you oughtto get a phd, and I'm, and I
was still like no, I was like Ican just let me get another
master's degree into my area.
But education.
I felt that was a key to awhole lot of things I love to me
(26:18):
and I I took it pretty serious,as you can imagine, in college
and I enjoyed learning, I founda way to enjoy it, but I was
just slower at it.
I mean, even right now there'sa book I want to read, but I'm
just real slow at it and I haveto just methodically go through
the process.
But it's not like I'm goingthrough 10 books a year at all.
I'll go through one and I'mlearning and just, and I was a
(26:39):
bit creative as a leader and Ihad a creative strength to me
and I applied, I would apply theinformation.
One of my professor said youknow, one little piece of
information that's applied isbetter than one million
accumulated facts that are not.
Speaker 6 (26:53):
Yes, and then I would find ways to apply things that
I learned it may just be one ortwo things and that worked out
pretty well for me so for peoplewho struggled with, like maybe
the same things that you had todeal with with, you know the
reading and writing things likethat what would you tell them?
Like, what advice would yougive people to keep them moving
forward?
Just like you will motivate itkeep a motivated.
Speaker 3 (27:14):
If there was a recommendation from memory
university and my mother andfather did do it, but if you
could get him specialized intoan area, there might be a
particular piece of instructionwhere you could go and learn
reading comprehension muchbetter.
Maybe play and try to get intothat specific school or training
or certificate, if you can dothat.
And then, of course, if there'sclip notes or a bridge
(27:37):
diversions to the book of thematerial, do that.
Whatever is a summary and thenwhen you're in a classroom I
would sit at the front and bethe one of the first ones and
show that the professor thatyou're interested in, that
you're a serious student, to theprofessor there's also
personality dynamics going to aclass.
So those are the few tips.
I would take a lot of copiousnotes with a recorder and then
(28:00):
after my class instruction Iwould immediately review it for
five minutes only, and I wouldonly go in 10 to 15 minutes
segments and sometimes I wouldchange my location where I was
physically at present orsometime.
I found a way it was kind of ananimalistic skill of eating and
drinking anything while you'rereading or studying, because
(28:20):
there's sensations that aregoing on, you're learning and if
you've got the pizza or somesweet tea or whatever, whatever
you like, and you're reading andstudying.
That help me a lot as well.
Three by five cards do wonders,just multi-modal, incredibly
self aware that.
Speaker 4 (28:38):
did you like to do, come up with those things
yourself?
Or did you have somebody thatwould eventually say try this,
try this?
Speaker 3 (28:44):
Well, I had to.
There was a tape out vhsrecorder.
Where there's a wheel, there'san a is in the letter, great.
And I have a chapter on wherethere's a wheel, there's an a
and I sort of sum it up on howthe world I did that and I wrote
notes down from that tape andthen applied them in my studies
and Help down one.
(29:05):
And a lot of people think, well,I got to spend a lot of time
driving.
Well, I found a recorder and Iwould just listen to a recording
of my voice.
Yes, so I got that on my own.
And just creativity and slowlooking at it, where there's a
wheel, there's an a, and then Iwould apply.
Sometimes I would touch thepaper, I would physically touch
the paper, I would read it andthen I would record myself and
then sometimes, well, you haveto drive to class, drive
(29:27):
somewhere, and I just push therecorder on while I was driving
and I would hear myself as well.
That would give me some extratime to rehash and it was a.
Usually it was multiplerehearsals and relooks.
Usually when the test time came, there was no cramming for me.
I knew I was gonna make an athen.
So, because it's just a andeverybody else was running
around.
At the last minute I was.
(29:48):
I was like I'm fine, you know,I'll go out and drink some beer,
you know I love the fact thatyou really overcame when you
learned ways you didn't.
Speaker 6 (29:57):
Yes, yes, yes, yes, where?
Yeah, like okay, well, I've gotthis, so I can't do it.
You like, okay, I've got this,but I've got to find ways to do
better and ever come and it'smore work.
Speaker 3 (30:06):
I did, even though I have the book.
A soldier against all odds.
There was one odd.
There was one thing I was on myside, my father believed in me
and he was a good father, goodleader and yet a good influence
on me, and I think and he camefrom a very, very white trash,
eating dumpster food type of apoor Time rags on your feet poor
and he said we know, I made itwell and that means you can make
(30:28):
it well and there's no way Icould have compared.
I was never hungry, I never hadto steal food, what there was
in.
I was looking at someone whowas worse off than me, thinking
you know, you know he's myexample and he had a much worse
than I did.
So I think I can do somethingamazing yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
I think that's important have someone believe
in you, whether it's your parent, ask each other, or.
I think that just having thatperson that believes in you to,
especially when you're young, togive you that confidence, to
Not just say, hey, I've gotthese issues, I can't, I can't
do this.
I think that's important.
Speaker 3 (30:56):
Have somebody tells you can hear her he believed in
me and I get surprised, which Ikind of enjoy out of it.
It's a problem is this up oneof his, one of his favorite
things with son?
Speaker 5 (31:05):
you surprise a lot he would say that that's always a
good thing when you think theprice of your head and a good
way.
Speaker 2 (31:12):
It was a good way, yeah, good way so, with your,
your first book, how long didthe second book come?
Speaker 3 (31:19):
to be.
Well, the first, the first book, was hell.
I was about two and a halfthree years.
That was more of thevulnerability issue with.
The second book came out withinsix months because we had
something to go by.
We had the veteransadministration regulation which
we broke down and the lakes toit, and then my knowledge of
knowing how to proceed throughit, and so we had something to
go by with this book toformulate that, and I have a
(31:41):
ghost writer who knows me verywell.
But no, that was the.
That was quick.
I'm working on a third book aswell, and so once you got a good
ghost writer who knows youwhich that took a lot of
breaking ground to get someoneto know you and understand your
lingo and your, and then thesecond and the third and maybe
more than that is more.
It seems to be much moresimpler, easier.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
That's awesome, great .
Well, we are reallyappreciative of your.
I think that you are definitelyan inspiration to others,
especially just showing thatthose challenges can make you
stronger, and we are againthankful for you and will
definitely list your books onthe podcast.
Speaker 5 (32:17):
We put it out and Thank you for service yeah,
thank you for what you do andwhat you're continuing to do.
You're welcome.
Appreciate being on your show.
Speaker 3 (32:25):
Yeah, giving hope to many, and I have this is about,
is about inspiration, and hopeis what I'm selling here.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 5 (32:32):
Thank you so much.
Say go Otter.
Speaker 3 (32:34):
Thank you, take care.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
I was ready for you to ask about aliens.
I did too.
When he said secrets, I waslike.
Speaker 5 (32:40):
I know, but I mean, you guys told me not to ask
about aliens.
I was ready.
Speaker 6 (32:45):
When he said secrets, I was like oh, here comes,
ashley, you did Waiting.
Speaker 4 (32:49):
I'm proud of you for not asking.
Speaker 6 (32:51):
I thought you were going to ask.
Speaker 4 (32:52):
They meant to restrain.
Speaker 5 (32:52):
I wanted to that took so bad, I needed you to do it.
Speaker 6 (32:56):
I was waiting for you to be like so can you please
tell us?
You guys told me I couldn't.
What life is there, alan, I?
Speaker 4 (33:01):
didn't think it ever.
He's sweet.
How old is he?
Is he all?
Speaker 2 (33:04):
right, he's much older.
Speaker 4 (33:06):
Is he?
Because he said he was 30 yearsold and he was 17.
He's pretty recently out.
Speaker 6 (33:10):
I'm thinking he's in his 60s 50s, 60s, I was saying,
but he said he joined when hewas 17.
Speaker 4 (33:16):
And he was 32 years.
Speaker 6 (33:19):
But he said that he went to.
Speaker 5 (33:21):
But that's when he served for 32 years.
Speaker 6 (33:23):
Okay, he's been out since the 90s right.
Speaker 5 (33:27):
Yeah, and that was during when he was there he was
in his 60s.
He was in his 60s.
He was in his 60s.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
He was in his 60s.
Speaker 5 (33:34):
He was like wow, he ever came a lot.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
I can't even imagine that's exactly how I had to
learn.
Speaker 6 (33:39):
That's how you.
Speaker 2 (33:39):
Yeah, I'm a terrible reader and writer Terrible.
Speaker 6 (33:42):
Well, I think I had to record my voice back then.
And versus now.
Speaker 4 (33:45):
You know, there's like Dragon speak and there's
audio books and there's so muchmore that we have so much more
but back then.
Speaker 6 (33:51):
It was like yeah, you just felt like my dad was
undyced.
Speaker 4 (33:53):
I was like yeah, I was like yeah, I was like, yeah,
I was like yeah, I was like.
Speaker 6 (33:56):
I was like yeah, I was like wow, that's all I had.
Speaker 5 (34:01):
But back then it was like yeah, you just felt like
yeah, undyced Dislexic, yeah,yeah, I'm definitely diagnosed
Dislex, yeah, and so, like wetalk about it all the time,
because Steven, my oldest, wasdiagnosed and he is dyslexic,
yeah, and so he did like he,like he would learn best with a
(34:22):
white board written in green andall of that stuff, and so I do
you do hate it for those thathad to struggle and it was just
okay.
Well, you're slow, like youtalked about him.
Speaker 6 (34:34):
I was the same way.
I remember reading college.
Speaker 5 (34:36):
That's what my dad would say.
He was like yeah I know myteachers would just say oh, he's
slow.
Speaker 6 (34:41):
Slow meaning dumb, right yeah.
Speaker 5 (34:44):
Like seriously one of the smartest, not just because
he's my father, but likeseriously so successful, super
smart.
But it's because I know, evenwith my boys before they, you
know, we had them tested Likethey were trying to figure out
how to learn and find their ownway.
But just to go through lifethinking, you know, because I
(35:05):
feel like at that era, when youwere said to be slow, quote
unquote, you were kind of justpushed to the side.
Like it wasn't like okay so wefeel like you're slow in
learning, but we're going tohelp you.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
It's like no, you're written off Right.
Speaker 5 (35:26):
He could have definitely slipped through the
cracks if he had been sodetermined.
Yeah, he has to have.
Oh, yeah, and I just I thinkthat it's that's such a good
lesson for anyone, in any genreand any profession or any level
or stage in their life is thatthe odds were stacked against
him.
He talked about his family and,coming from you know very, very
(35:47):
little to have the like, theself-awareness that, no, I think
I'm better than this.
Speaker 4 (35:57):
And I think I can be better yeah.
Speaker 6 (36:02):
So I mean I think One slow doesn't mean.
Yeah, I remember I would be onlike problem 10 and everybody
started in their test, you know,and I'm like what is?
Wrong with me.
Like I studied, I know this,but it's just, it wasn't about
knowing it was just processingspeed.
Yeah, you process differently,so yeah, yeah, I think a lot of
people have that whole.
They want everything to bedifferent and changed, versus
(36:22):
just being accepted, and so tome, he was accepted.
He accepted his limitations,but he overcame them by working
harder.
Speaker 5 (36:31):
With determination.
Speaker 6 (36:32):
Yeah, this is what I need to do, to work harder.
Speaker 5 (36:34):
Instead of just being like okay.
I have this With a label orwhatever, and just yeah, like
putting yourself on the shelf.
Yeah, now you know to have like.
Okay, I learned different or Ihave different experiences.
I've had a different upbringing.
I've had horrible things happenin my life, right Pushing
through, figuring out how toturn a negative into a positive
(36:58):
Right.
Speaker 4 (37:00):
I must be so hard like to hear you know that
you're slow, or like that,lingering in the back of your
head all the time of feelinglike, because those are the
experts at the time, yourteachers.
Speaker 5 (37:10):
You were so good.
Of course they didn't do befair, they didn't know any
difference.
No, I felt.
No, I mean it was, it was justYou're taking on.
Speaker 4 (37:17):
Absolutely.
They didn't have the knowledge.
I feel like it was changing alittle bit when I was in school,
but it still wasn't there.
But, like I think about myuncle, my uncle wrote with his
left hand, but he was beaten towrite with his right hand.
Speaker 5 (37:30):
I'm left handed and I was.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
Automatic brightness off.
Speaker 5 (37:35):
Hello, I what, like my teachers, literally tried to
change my handwriting.
Speaker 4 (37:43):
Which is the?
Speaker 5 (37:43):
reason that I can do most things with both hands.
It'd be the extra.
When I would play tennis Ididn't have a backhand.
I can write now, now, later inlife yeah, Because you know I'm
39.
So, but when I was younger youwould not be able to tell which
hand I was writing with.
That's crazy, Because they mademe make sure, because you know,
(38:05):
back then you had writinglessons.
Speaker 1 (38:08):
That was a class, like you, would have the lines
yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4 (38:10):
Like in elementary school, you would have to.
Speaker 5 (38:13):
Yeah, you would have to like tilt that everything had
to be perfection.
I had to learn because Irefused to write with my right
hand, so I learned how to writelike a right handed person with
my left hand.
Speaker 4 (38:27):
So hard Yep.
Speaker 2 (38:27):
And you should write Imagine everything.
Speaker 4 (38:30):
Imagine everything it drove me crazy.
Speaker 5 (38:32):
Well, the desks were Right hand desks.
Yeah, they had the right handdesk, so I had to.
And then like think about thesilliest things, scissors.
Yeah, back in the day, like inHellmac, you didn't you had the
scissors that were indented.
And it would like cause notthat I'm Hellmac, what?
Let's not, let's be honest, Iam not a sewer, but like I would
(38:58):
get like blisters, blisters onmy thumb, cause I cause every
like they.
Yeah, cause it was supposed tobe like bad if you were left
handed.
Speaker 4 (39:09):
There is a thing I know.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
I always said left handed people are cool.
I said it.
Speaker 6 (39:14):
I always want to write with my left hand.
Super cool, I think they'remore intelligent.
Speaker 4 (39:17):
I can write with my left hand a little bit.
Speaker 5 (39:19):
Yeah, I know, I like.
I said I haven't done it inyears, but I used to like you
would not be able to tell if Iwas writing left handed or right
handed.
Like I just made myself learnInteresting.
And I remember my grandmother.
She would sit with me at hertable and cause she had the most
beautiful handwriting and sheknew cause.
I'm pretty sure my mom was lefthanded and they made her.
Speaker 2 (39:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (39:40):
Right handed and I remember she would sit there
with me and just okay, you knowyou have to loop this and it'll
look this way and make sureyou're slant, yeah, so when?
Speaker 4 (39:49):
you think about it now?
They don't even learn to writelike this.
Speaker 5 (39:52):
They don't even know how to write like that they
can't do cursive at all.
Yeah, I don't think I, my kidscan't read my writing, cause I
write in cursive all the timewhere it's got writes in block.
Yeah, the kids don't understandmy block letters looks like
that Mine look pathetic too.
Speaker 6 (40:06):
Yeah, block just takes so much time from me.
My writing in general is so bad?
Speaker 5 (40:09):
I mean, it has gotten bad, you're a doctor, that's
why, I know I was
Speaker 4 (40:13):
like you're a doctor.
Speaker 5 (40:14):
You're not supposed to have a good writing.
Speaker 4 (40:16):
Yeah, just don't have a good handwriting.
They are the brains.
Speaker 6 (40:19):
Did you take typing?
Speaker 4 (40:20):
Yes, yes, mavis Beaton typing.
Speaker 6 (40:23):
We don't do that now.
Why?
Speaker 4 (40:24):
do they know they don't, cause they figured out.
You can do it just as fast withyour two fingers instead of you
like putting your hands up on apiano.
Speaker 5 (40:31):
The girls at my store laugh at me so hard when I type
cause I, or like I text cause Ione finger.
Speaker 4 (40:36):
Oh yeah, my mom's a one finger, oh my.
Speaker 5 (40:37):
God, yes, I can, I can't do that.
Really Don't do two fingers.
Speaker 6 (40:41):
No, two thumbs, yes, two thumbs.
Speaker 4 (40:43):
I actually have my pointer.
Thumbs more next.
Speaker 5 (40:44):
No, I do it with my pointer finger and I'll be like
my mom does it with her pointerfinger.
Speaker 2 (40:49):
My mom's like does they hit the?
Speaker 5 (40:51):
bell.
This is why Ashley loves emojis, I think.
I do love emojis.
Speaker 2 (40:55):
Just the right ones, guys.
Speaker 5 (40:57):
I know now that I know what some of them mean.
Speaker 2 (40:59):
Yes, exactly, I give thumbs up a lot more now,
actually, since I've been doingmy stuff.
Oh, mm-hmm, oh yeah.
Speaker 5 (41:04):
It's crazy.
I know I could seriously.
I've said this before, I willsay it again I can write an
entire book with emojis andyou're gonna know exactly what
I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (41:11):
I would.
Others are gonna think you'resaying something completely
different.
Speaker 5 (41:14):
Well, that could be it, but in my mind it's fabulous
and that is really all thatmatters.
In my mind, my emojis lightenthe mood they make you giggle.
Yes, you can roll your eyes.
I only think you're giggling.
Speaker 6 (41:27):
Yeah, so that's really all that matters.
So have you tried the thumbtexting or no?
Never.
Speaker 5 (41:32):
I have, and it's a night.
I look like it looks likesomething weird is going on.
Speaker 4 (41:36):
I don't know how you text with your nails anyway.
Well, that's true, I know I dohave really long nails, but now
I use my pointer finger and I'malways like hi, how are you?
Speaker 5 (41:45):
Oh, that didn't work out.
Hi, how are you?
I mean it might take me fiveminutes to say how are you?
Cause I'm deleting and but, butthen I'll throw an emoji in and
I feel better.
Speaker 4 (41:57):
Well, that's Siri thing is the one that drives me
inside the voice to text.
Speaker 2 (42:01):
She never understands anything I say no, I send some
crazy texts cause I do all talkto text.
She's like yeah, I don't evenknow how to do that, you don't.
Speaker 6 (42:09):
That's the easiest thing.
She's like okay, but this okay.
Speaker 5 (42:13):
I can just tell you guys right now, as we all know,
this is the reason I'm part ofthis podcast, because you guys
are educating me.
Because no, the only way that Iknow how to text with my voice
is if I hit the littlemicrophone.
Speaker 4 (42:26):
Yeah, but there's a blue like sand wave on your.
You know where your emojis are.
There's a blue sand wave comesup on your text message.
Speaker 5 (42:32):
I am going to hold on one second.
Speaker 4 (42:34):
I said this to my mom the other day I was like but
you can talk to text, like Icouldn't find my phone to text
you.
I'm just go well, I'll say hey,sorry, I'm saying it quietly.
So, like you can like so.
Speaker 5 (42:44):
So you go to your text message there.
Okay, so text message Pick upit.
Speaker 4 (42:49):
Yeah, and then this blue thing here, this oh sorry,
I can't do it with my glasses.
Yeah, there you go.
Add recipient to send an audio.
So put Trisha in.
Speaker 2 (43:01):
Trisha.
See, I don't know how you dothe audio messages.
I do talk to text.
See, you guys are trying toshow me something that doesn't
work.
Speaker 4 (43:10):
Okay, there's Trisha at eye class right Now.
Send your little messages tapthe microphone.
I love you emoji.
You have to tap the microphone.
Speaker 5 (43:18):
Oh see, this is too much, you got to tap stuff.
Speaker 4 (43:22):
Oh, this is a voicemail I love you emoji.
Well, that's the voice text.
Sorry, I mean I gave you thewrong one.
That's just send a voice textmessage.
This is the reason.
Speaker 5 (43:31):
I don't do it.
Speaker 4 (43:32):
Because there's too many options.
Speaker 5 (43:33):
I use my pointer finger An emojis.
Speaker 4 (43:37):
And the send because that's a voice text you send her
.
But if you want to let go, hey,Trisha, don't forget to bring
the wine Period.
Speaker 5 (43:46):
Period, period.
We don't call them periods athome, oh so yeah, because you
hit that little thing rightthere, right, yeah, so what's
the difference between that withthe big microphone and the
bottom?
Speaker 4 (43:54):
It's the same thing that talks to text.
It's the same thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5 (43:59):
Yeah, so funny, I freaking hate technology.
Speaker 2 (44:03):
I know, I already know Cheers to showing up and
having a good attitude.
Speaker 5 (44:06):
Yep, there we are, and me not talking about aliens,
cheers.
Speaker 1 (44:11):
Thank you for joining the ladies of the Middle
Age-ish podcast as they journeythrough the ups and downs of
this not young, but definitelynot old season of life.
To hear past episodes or makesuggestions for future episodes,
visit wwwmiddleagishcom.
That's wwwmiddleagishcom.
(44:33):
You can follow along on socialmedia at MiddleAge-ish.
Also, if you have a moment, toleave a review rate and
subscribe.
That helps others find the showand we greatly appreciate it.
Once again, thank you so muchfor joining us and we'll catch
you in the next episode of theMiddle Age-ish podcast.
You, you, you, you, you, you,you, you, you, you, you, you,
(59:35):
you, you, you, you.
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