June 28, 2024 • 20 mins
Ever wondered why midlife can feel like such a rollercoaster, especially for women in their 40s, 50s, and beyond? This episode promises to unravel the societal pressures and internal battles, like self-sabotage and excuses, that often stand in the way of personal progress. Through eye-opening client stories and candid discussions, we spotlight the common tendency to use food as a celebration and connection tool. Our conversations are filled with tough love and practical advice aimed at helping you navigate special occasions without compromising your health goals.
Be inspired by the incredible journey of one of our clients who conquered self-sabotage and lost 60 pounds. Discover the transformative power of a mindset change and learn practical techniques like the countdown method to develop new habits. We also tackle the tricky terrain of peer pressure during social events and offer strategies to maintain your dietary goals. Additionally, we explore the identity struggles women often face post-pregnancy and how these can impact health and self-care routines. This episode is a heartfelt guide to reclaiming your identity and enhancing your well-being during midlife.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
welcome back to episode number 10 of the mid
life madness.
Everybody loves that name, man.
Let me tell you we need thispodcast, don't we?
Everybody on this earth needs amidlife madness podcast.
I think.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
I think there's so many different things that we go
through some which are spokenabout and some which, you know,
kind of fly under the radar, butmost of us are going through
similar things.
Yep, um, that I you know.
I think we landed on a greatname.
I know we did a little shiftfrom what we used to do before,
but we'd like to have a littlebit more fun with it.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Yeah, and we, speaking of fun, we're all
trying to gracefully navigatethrough this midlife madness,
which sometimes is not sograceful.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
Some days are better than others.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
There's so much that is not spoken.
You know, know, I think there'sa lot of negativity around
around.
You know menopause and midlifecrisis and this and that, but
there's things that can bebeautiful too, if you do certain
things.
And so, when we were talkingabout doing a little pivot with
(01:19):
our podcast and our youtube, itonly makes sense that the three
of us that are going throughthis midlife madness can just
come together and have real raw,freaking conversations about
what we're going through andwhere, what everybody else women
like us.
I'm 49 years old you know in the40s, in the 50s, in the 60s,
(01:43):
30s, right, right, we walkedthrough that too, so we are so
excited to bring you guys someawesome content about freaking
midlife midlife listen every day.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Every day, it's something new.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and every dayis something new, you know um.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
So we've, we've discussed, basically the people
that come into our office aremostly women, like us, you know
um, guys typically come in whentheir wife drags them in right
like that's that, we see thatthey get a chronic, some kind
that chronic disease or chronicdisease and then, yeah, yep, but
(02:29):
typically it's women just likeus that come into our office.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
And one of the things that you know we talk about
this all the time is, you know,the self-sabotage, the analysis,
paralysis, the analysis,paralysis, the I don't yeah, the
(02:52):
excuses.
And I guess today I want totalk a little bit about, like,
what does it take to break downthose excuses, you know, for
ourselves, for the stuff that weknow we need to do and don't
love doing it for our listeners?
Well, how we help kind of gothrough some of that stuff in
our office, sometimes with toughlove, sometimes with laughter
and empathy.
But you know, whatever it takesto get from point A to point B,
(03:14):
because some of the times I'mjust completely baffled by the
stuff that I hear, and I knowyou guys are also- yeah, yeah,
for sure.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
I was just telling.
I was just telling you guysabout the, the nice lady that
that came to my office speakingof excuses.
She's like I'm going to abirthday party.
Is it okay if I have cake?
I'm like no, not while you'retrying to lose.
And she goes what if I cry Iwant that piece of cake?
I said no, it's an excuse,excuse.
And it's like, and you reallyhave to think about it.
It's like why, why, why do youwant to to have that piece of
(03:50):
cake and set yourself back?
Speaker 1 (03:53):
you know, you know so .
Speaker 2 (03:55):
So these are these are the things that we that we
like generally guide our clientsthat come into the office and
like reasons why yeah one of thethings that we do in the office
deeper on, like why do you feellike you have to have that
piece of cake?
Speaker 1 (04:13):
I had a I had the same scenario, dr donna, in my
office with a client and when wehad that conversation she was
saying that had thatconversation, she was saying
that they're so used to likecelebrations around food.
You know, connection withpeople is around food and and we
had a really, really great anddeep conversation about that's
(04:35):
something that that has been,you know, made by society.
But the truth of the matter isyou can connect with people
without food around.
That's true, but that's yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
And culturally, like you know, in the Latinos and I'm
Italian, you know our wholeworld revolves around the food
and that's what we were.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
But I think every culture, I agree, revolves
around food.
I don't know, you know cause.
I have people from all over.
You know I'm in central Florida.
It's very metropolitan, youknow there's there's some of
everything and I, there.
There's not a single culture ofhuman that has come into my
(05:23):
office that doesn't gatheraround the table, celebrate a
holiday, celebrate every food,do a cookout.
You know whatever version ofthat applies to you and you know
you have to.
You know something that I tellmy clients all the time, because
I get this all the time.
It's like, you know, you're agrown ass adult.
(05:43):
You could have cake when you'redone.
You don't have to have cakethis weekend.
You could, you know, you can,you can.
You can have this when you'restabilized, when you're at your
goal weight, when you are, youknow, allowed to take that break
.
You know.
But our programs go in shortstints.
I mean we, you know we go atmost six weeks at a time.
(06:06):
We stabilize your body, we goagain.
You've made this commitmentright.
This baffles me.
You come in An investment, aninvestment 100%.
You come in right Typically bythe time that you come into our
office.
We're not your first time thatyou've tried something.
(06:27):
I mean, how many of yourclients that come into your
office this is the first timethat they've ever thought oh my
goodness I'm overweight.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
I need to do right, like it's usually a long list of
different things that they'vetried.
Long list.
I've tried everything, yeah, soif you're at the point
Speaker 1 (06:46):
if you're at the point for our when we were
larger and we were doing ourjourney right yeah, this is
everything as well.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
It's normal.
Yeah, right, but when you'vegotten to the point that you're
asking for help, then you needto be ready to accept that help
and do what you're asked to do.
And I'm sure you know primaryhealth providers have the same
situation.
You know how many patients dodoctors have that they're like
(07:16):
you need to do this, you need todo that.
Oh, that's just hard.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
Or I don't have time or.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
I think that's where Inspire Weight Loss comes in.
Really, what separates InspireWeight Loss from all the other
things that people have tried?
Because you know, even thoughpeople have tried all these
things and they come in andthey're you know, you've tried
all these things, you'reinvested on it.
Why are you still doing thisthis?
(07:46):
Well, I think that there is aperiod of time that they haven't
had the accountability andsupport that they needed to
break through these culturalhabits, to break through, um,
low self-esteem, to breakthrough low willpower to, to
break through you know, themental sabotage and mental
gymnastics, to break throughfood addictions and sugar
addictions.
You know, most of the timepeople can't do that on their
(08:08):
own because you know they're,they're in their head, so they
need somebody else to walk themthrough it and challenge them
and ask them the right questionsand show them and this and that
, and and.
So we're baffled in a verycompassionate way at Inspire
because we've walked itourselves as well.
Yeah, and we have to make surethat that the client understands
(08:33):
that they can do it.
Yeah, I can, and they can breakthrough these things, um, and
they do I.
I just met with a clientyesterday that she's lost 60
pounds, the, the I mean talkabout.
She's like the queen ofself-sabotage, queen queen like
she.
She holds the title everything.
(08:53):
It was she because she didn'tthink she can do it like she
didn't have the faith.
She didn't have faith that shecan.
She had the strength and thepower and the ability to break
through these things andactually do it, and I had to
walk her through it and assureher that she does have the
(09:13):
strength, that she can controlher thoughts, that she can take
a time out and I show her thecountdown method to talk herself
out of reaching for thesethings.
Separates us from everybodyelse is that we actually take
(09:38):
the time to walk the clientsthrough the excuses of
self-sabotaging and the analysisparalysis that our clients
experience.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
It's it's mindset change too, and and it comes
along with how we educate ourclients as they go through the
program you know the woman Imentioned that wanted the cake.
You know, if you give yourselfthe opportunity to go through
the program and learn andeducate, your mindset will
(10:06):
certainly change.
And by the time you get to thepart where you're at your goal
weight and you're stabilized andyou're on maintenance, you know
how to manage that.
Hey, you know what?
I want a piece of cake, but Idon't think I'm going to eat the
whole thing.
I want a bite of it.
Taste it.
I'm probably going to besatisfied with it.
(10:26):
It's a matter of giving yourselfthe opportunity, giving
yourself that chance.
Yes, I know willpower comes in.
You know the willpowersometimes can take over.
But, like Martha, like you said, you know the willpower
sometimes can take over.
But, like Martha, like you said, you know, countdown, distract
yourself, give yourself a chanceto to go through it, go through
the feelings.
Why do you want it?
(10:47):
You know, is it going to makeyou feel better or worse after?
Because most of the time whenpeople go off track, they're
like why did I do it?
And then the whole guilt.
And then sometimes people go gobig or go home.
I had that piece of cake, nowI'm going to eat the rest of the
cake and that that talk aboutself-sabotage on that you know,
(11:12):
and.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
I think one of the things that people need to give
themselves grace for is thatthey need to practice.
I don't know, Do you guysremember Because I go through
this with my clients and we talkabout scenarios and we talk
about okay, so what will you doif, and what happens if?
Right?
(11:32):
And I remember when my kidswere little and they'd be
playing outside and I'd be likeif somebody comes up to the gate
, what do you do, you know?
And they're like I run insideand tell mommy Okay, good, you
know, and you, we practiced thatright, Because it's a skill
learning to say no to excessfood, learning to say no to
(11:55):
things you know you shouldn't bedoing, learning to say no
things you know you shouldn't bedoing learning to say no, so
you need to to an extent peerpressure, and peer pressure is
worse as adults.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
It's adult.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Yeah, a hundred percent.
I'm just going to say that,just because everybody else is
drinking, you feel like you haveto drink.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
Yep, and I was going to say alcohol is the worst for
peer pressure.
For adults, alcohol is theworst, to the point that I'll
you know, I'll tell my clients alot of times get yourself some
seltzer water, put a lemon in it.
If somebody asks, tell them youare and that's it.
Yeah, nobody, that's yoursecret, nobody needs to know.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
I don't understand that If somebody says, no, I'm
not drinking, thank you verymuch, I don't.
Speaker 3 (12:30):
I don't get that, that adult pressure Just one
yeah, yeah, it's not going tohurt.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
It's low carb.
It's low carb, yeah, it's, it's, it's um, it's challenging.
We all agree.
It's challenging, going todifferent events and different
functions and, much like you, drMurthy, um, I, I, we talk to
our clients like we asked them,they and they'll tell us, I have
a wedding coming up.
What do I do?
(12:57):
And we guide them, we guidethem through it.
You know, hey, cocktail hour ifthey have a cocktail hour, hit
the veggies.
You know, stay away from therice, don't go to the bar.
You know, yeah, stay away, stayaway, stay away.
You know, I had a woman theother day who did complete
opposite and came in for herfollow-up and she just happened
to get me.
(13:17):
I was afraid I was going to getyou.
She goes.
I went to a wedding and shegoes.
The first place I went was thebar and I got.
I had, I drank.
I wound up drinking threeglasses of wine and then I went
right for the rice and I said,oh no.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Not the rice.
Yeah, I went right for the rice.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
And I said oh no, no, not the rice.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Yeah, we're right for the rice.
So I wonder also, like we'retalking through like scenarios,
of why people operate this way.
We identify cultural anddifferent things, but I wonder
also too, like when you're awoman and you go through the
process of having kids, you knowa lot of women lose their
(14:02):
identity when they go through,when they go through so much
life change, not just physical,but like mental and emotional,
and all the things like what?
what do I do with my new body?
What do I do with this new babythat's taking over my life?
How do I, how do I juggle myhusband, my, my baby myself, my
(14:23):
career, my housework, and peoplelose their identity and a lot
of times, within that,everything else becomes priority
.
Right, the kid becomes priority, everything you know, the job
becomes priority, becomespriority.
The husband, whatever it may be.
(14:45):
And so when they finally get toa point like they're like man,
I gotta do something about myweight because it's just I don't
feel good, I feel, I feel, youknow, 90 years old and and I
have all this extra weightbecause of the baby or whatever
it may be, and they, they'vegone through a postpartum
depression.
It, you know, it, takes them aminute to like regain their
(15:06):
identity.
You know, and and and with thatit's like self, like your,
their value, their strength,their ability to, to shut off,
you know, bad noise in theirbrain, like they have to create
that skillset again to be ableto think that way.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Yeah, yeah, I, it's, it's.
It's interesting that you knowwe're.
We're talking about this justthis.
This past week I had a clientthat came in.
She came in with her husband.
She was like, I want to say shewas like 60, 62.
She says to me and her husbandwas so supportive.
She says to me I have fivechildren, she goes.
(15:44):
One.
We had four we adopted.
She goes.
I always put them first.
I sent them all to privateschool.
They went to college.
I worked hard, I paid foreverything, and she goes.
Now they're all grown, they'reout of the house.
She goes.
And now I look at me and I lookin the mirror and I don't
recognize who I see.
(16:04):
And she says I have lost myselfand I have tried and tried and
tried and I don't know how toget back on track.
Um, and he goes.
I want to enjoy my retirement,I want to be there for my
grandchildren, I want to go totheir recitals and I want to go
to their graduations.
And she goes.
(16:25):
It's time for me.
And she said it's going to be along time to figure it out and
to get here.
She goes, but I'm here.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
And then one thing is saying that, another thing that
while you're on the program istaking action, some people
figure out that they're not asstrong or as ready as they
thought they were going to be,and so then we have to deal with
that too and help them throughthat.
Yeah, you know sometimes likeokay, I'm ready, I'm ready to do
this, I'm ready, but then whenyou actually have to take action
(16:57):
and do it, you're like crap,maybe I wasn't as ready as I
thought I was is it?
Speaker 3 (17:03):
I'm ready, but is it this week?
Speaker 1 (17:04):
yeah, or maybe you know there's something that I
gotta work through to get to thepoint that I'm 100% yeah, like,
like, how do I live without theflavored creamers?
Like yeah, oh my gosh thefrappuccino and starbucks that
I'm used to.
Yeah, like it's such a shift oflife, um, and the way that,
that the person needs to eat andand the way that they look at
(17:27):
food and the food relationship.
There's so much to it.
Yeah, as, as humans, as adefault, we go back to excuses,
self-sabotaging and analysis,paralysis.
Speaker 3 (17:39):
So, it is, yeah, it's , you know.
I, I guess if know, if somebodyis out there and they're
listening.
Please understand this is whateverybody defaults to uh, at
least once before they get ittogether, because I think we've
(18:04):
all gone through it.
I don't know a single personwho's like super disciplined.
I don't know anybody that'ssuper disciplined all the time.
I don't know anybody that isthat always does the right
choice.
I don't know anybody that, youknow, never hesitates, never
wonders, and certainly, as women, like Martha said, you, you
know, we start giving ofourselves and giving of
(18:26):
ourselves and giving ofourselves.
You know, and a lot of men dotoo they work their butts off
for their family and you knowall that self-care, you know,
all the gym, all the.
You know healthy eating and theprotein powder and the did that
they were doing, you know, kindof goes out the window.
Hence they paint the dad bod.
You know, like it's not justexclusive to women.
(18:49):
It's a thing, right, lifehappens and we get busy and we
lose.
You know.
We lose track of what we needto do for ourselves because we
don't want to be selfish.
But the problem is, if you'renot somewhat selfish in how you
take care of your physical selfright.
(19:09):
If you do not make time to keepyourself healthy, you will
eventually have no choice but tomake time for whatever illness
develops.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
True, your body's gonna make you go there.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
You know.
A lot of times, too, thesethings are habits that you have
to change right, like snackingat night.
Are you really hungry or is ita habit, Like you need something
in your hand to snack on, andso it's hard.
It's hard to make these changes, but once you start making them
, they stick.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Yeah, yeah.
So for those who are listeningor watching, if this resonates
with you, you need to give us acall.
We help people every single daywalk through, break through,
conquer these challenges that weall go through.
Yeah, give us a call, messageus.
Our website isinspireweightlosscom and we are
(20:02):
here to help you.
Until next time, midlifeMadness podcast and YouTube Guys
, we're so excited to share morewith you.
Keep a lookout for our nextepisode.
Talk to you soon.
welcome back to episode number 10 of the mid
life madness.
Everybody loves that name, man.
Let me tell you we need thispodcast, don't we?
Everybody on this earth needs amidlife madness podcast.
I think.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
I think there's so many different things that we go
through some which are spokenabout and some which, you know,
kind of fly under the radar, butmost of us are going through
similar things.
Yep, um, that I you know.
I think we landed on a greatname.
I know we did a little shiftfrom what we used to do before,
but we'd like to have a littlebit more fun with it.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Yeah, and we, speaking of fun, we're all
trying to gracefully navigatethrough this midlife madness,
which sometimes is not sograceful.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
Some days are better than others.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
There's so much that is not spoken.
You know, know, I think there'sa lot of negativity around
around.
You know menopause and midlifecrisis and this and that, but
there's things that can bebeautiful too, if you do certain
things.
And so, when we were talkingabout doing a little pivot with
(01:19):
our podcast and our youtube, itonly makes sense that the three
of us that are going throughthis midlife madness can just
come together and have real raw,freaking conversations about
what we're going through andwhere, what everybody else women
like us.
I'm 49 years old you know in the40s, in the 50s, in the 60s,
(01:43):
30s, right, right, we walkedthrough that too, so we are so
excited to bring you guys someawesome content about freaking
midlife midlife listen every day.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Every day, it's something new.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and every dayis something new, you know um.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
So we've, we've discussed, basically the people
that come into our office aremostly women, like us, you know
um, guys typically come in whentheir wife drags them in right
like that's that, we see thatthey get a chronic, some kind
that chronic disease or chronicdisease and then, yeah, yep, but
(02:29):
typically it's women just likeus that come into our office.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
And one of the things that you know we talk about
this all the time is, you know,the self-sabotage, the analysis,
paralysis, the analysis,paralysis, the I don't yeah, the
(02:52):
excuses.
And I guess today I want totalk a little bit about, like,
what does it take to break downthose excuses, you know, for
ourselves, for the stuff that weknow we need to do and don't
love doing it for our listeners?
Well, how we help kind of gothrough some of that stuff in
our office, sometimes with toughlove, sometimes with laughter
and empathy.
But you know, whatever it takesto get from point A to point B,
(03:14):
because some of the times I'mjust completely baffled by the
stuff that I hear, and I knowyou guys are also- yeah, yeah,
for sure.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
I was just telling.
I was just telling you guysabout the, the nice lady that
that came to my office speakingof excuses.
She's like I'm going to abirthday party.
Is it okay if I have cake?
I'm like no, not while you'retrying to lose.
And she goes what if I cry Iwant that piece of cake?
I said no, it's an excuse,excuse.
And it's like, and you reallyhave to think about it.
It's like why, why, why do youwant to to have that piece of
(03:50):
cake and set yourself back?
Speaker 1 (03:53):
you know, you know so .
Speaker 2 (03:55):
So these are these are the things that we that we
like generally guide our clientsthat come into the office and
like reasons why yeah one of thethings that we do in the office
deeper on, like why do you feellike you have to have that
piece of cake?
Speaker 1 (04:13):
I had a I had the same scenario, dr donna, in my
office with a client and when wehad that conversation she was
saying that had thatconversation, she was saying
that they're so used to likecelebrations around food.
You know, connection withpeople is around food and and we
had a really, really great anddeep conversation about that's
(04:35):
something that that has been,you know, made by society.
But the truth of the matter isyou can connect with people
without food around.
That's true, but that's yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
And culturally, like you know, in the Latinos and I'm
Italian, you know our wholeworld revolves around the food
and that's what we were.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
But I think every culture, I agree, revolves
around food.
I don't know, you know cause.
I have people from all over.
You know I'm in central Florida.
It's very metropolitan, youknow there's there's some of
everything and I, there.
There's not a single culture ofhuman that has come into my
(05:23):
office that doesn't gatheraround the table, celebrate a
holiday, celebrate every food,do a cookout.
You know whatever version ofthat applies to you and you know
you have to.
You know something that I tellmy clients all the time, because
I get this all the time.
It's like, you know, you're agrown ass adult.
(05:43):
You could have cake when you'redone.
You don't have to have cakethis weekend.
You could, you know, you can,you can.
You can have this when you'restabilized, when you're at your
goal weight, when you are, youknow, allowed to take that break
.
You know.
But our programs go in shortstints.
I mean we, you know we go atmost six weeks at a time.
(06:06):
We stabilize your body, we goagain.
You've made this commitmentright.
This baffles me.
You come in An investment, aninvestment 100%.
You come in right Typically bythe time that you come into our
office.
We're not your first time thatyou've tried something.
(06:27):
I mean, how many of yourclients that come into your
office this is the first timethat they've ever thought oh my
goodness I'm overweight.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
I need to do right, like it's usually a long list of
different things that they'vetried.
Long list.
I've tried everything, yeah, soif you're at the point
Speaker 1 (06:46):
if you're at the point for our when we were
larger and we were doing ourjourney right yeah, this is
everything as well.
Speaker 3 (06:54):
It's normal.
Yeah, right, but when you'vegotten to the point that you're
asking for help, then you needto be ready to accept that help
and do what you're asked to do.
And I'm sure you know primaryhealth providers have the same
situation.
You know how many patients dodoctors have that they're like
(07:16):
you need to do this, you need todo that.
Oh, that's just hard.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:20):
Or I don't have time or.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
I think that's where Inspire Weight Loss comes in.
Really, what separates InspireWeight Loss from all the other
things that people have tried?
Because you know, even thoughpeople have tried all these
things and they come in andthey're you know, you've tried
all these things, you'reinvested on it.
Why are you still doing thisthis?
(07:46):
Well, I think that there is aperiod of time that they haven't
had the accountability andsupport that they needed to
break through these culturalhabits, to break through, um,
low self-esteem, to breakthrough low willpower to, to
break through you know, themental sabotage and mental
gymnastics, to break throughfood addictions and sugar
addictions.
You know, most of the timepeople can't do that on their
(08:08):
own because you know they're,they're in their head, so they
need somebody else to walk themthrough it and challenge them
and ask them the right questionsand show them and this and that
, and and.
So we're baffled in a verycompassionate way at Inspire
because we've walked itourselves as well.
Yeah, and we have to make surethat that the client understands
(08:33):
that they can do it.
Yeah, I can, and they can breakthrough these things, um, and
they do I.
I just met with a clientyesterday that she's lost 60
pounds, the, the I mean talkabout.
She's like the queen ofself-sabotage, queen queen like
she.
She holds the title everything.
(08:53):
It was she because she didn'tthink she can do it like she
didn't have the faith.
She didn't have faith that shecan.
She had the strength and thepower and the ability to break
through these things andactually do it, and I had to
walk her through it and assureher that she does have the
(09:13):
strength, that she can controlher thoughts, that she can take
a time out and I show her thecountdown method to talk herself
out of reaching for thesethings.
Separates us from everybodyelse is that we actually take
(09:38):
the time to walk the clientsthrough the excuses of
self-sabotaging and the analysisparalysis that our clients
experience.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
It's it's mindset change too, and and it comes
along with how we educate ourclients as they go through the
program you know the woman Imentioned that wanted the cake.
You know, if you give yourselfthe opportunity to go through
the program and learn andeducate, your mindset will
(10:06):
certainly change.
And by the time you get to thepart where you're at your goal
weight and you're stabilized andyou're on maintenance, you know
how to manage that.
Hey, you know what?
I want a piece of cake, but Idon't think I'm going to eat the
whole thing.
I want a bite of it.
Taste it.
I'm probably going to besatisfied with it.
(10:26):
It's a matter of giving yourselfthe opportunity, giving
yourself that chance.
Yes, I know willpower comes in.
You know the willpowersometimes can take over.
But, like Martha, like you said, you know the willpower
sometimes can take over.
But, like Martha, like you said, you know, countdown, distract
yourself, give yourself a chanceto to go through it, go through
the feelings.
Why do you want it?
(10:47):
You know, is it going to makeyou feel better or worse after?
Because most of the time whenpeople go off track, they're
like why did I do it?
And then the whole guilt.
And then sometimes people go gobig or go home.
I had that piece of cake, nowI'm going to eat the rest of the
cake and that that talk aboutself-sabotage on that you know,
(11:12):
and.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
I think one of the things that people need to give
themselves grace for is thatthey need to practice.
I don't know, Do you guysremember Because I go through
this with my clients and we talkabout scenarios and we talk
about okay, so what will you doif, and what happens if?
Right?
(11:32):
And I remember when my kidswere little and they'd be
playing outside and I'd be likeif somebody comes up to the gate
, what do you do, you know?
And they're like I run insideand tell mommy Okay, good, you
know, and you, we practiced thatright, Because it's a skill
learning to say no to excessfood, learning to say no to
(11:55):
things you know you shouldn't bedoing, learning to say no
things you know you shouldn't bedoing learning to say no, so
you need to to an extent peerpressure, and peer pressure is
worse as adults.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
It's adult.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
Yeah, a hundred percent.
I'm just going to say that,just because everybody else is
drinking, you feel like you haveto drink.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
Yep, and I was going to say alcohol is the worst for
peer pressure.
For adults, alcohol is theworst, to the point that I'll
you know, I'll tell my clients alot of times get yourself some
seltzer water, put a lemon in it.
If somebody asks, tell them youare and that's it.
Yeah, nobody, that's yoursecret, nobody needs to know.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
I don't understand that If somebody says, no, I'm
not drinking, thank you verymuch, I don't.
Speaker 3 (12:30):
I don't get that, that adult pressure Just one
yeah, yeah, it's not going tohurt.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
It's low carb.
It's low carb, yeah, it's, it's, it's um, it's challenging.
We all agree.
It's challenging, going todifferent events and different
functions and, much like you, drMurthy, um, I, I, we talk to
our clients like we asked them,they and they'll tell us, I have
a wedding coming up.
What do I do?
(12:57):
And we guide them, we guidethem through it.
You know, hey, cocktail hour ifthey have a cocktail hour, hit
the veggies.
You know, stay away from therice, don't go to the bar.
You know, yeah, stay away, stayaway, stay away.
You know, I had a woman theother day who did complete
opposite and came in for herfollow-up and she just happened
to get me.
(13:17):
I was afraid I was going to getyou.
She goes.
I went to a wedding and shegoes.
The first place I went was thebar and I got.
I had, I drank.
I wound up drinking threeglasses of wine and then I went
right for the rice and I said,oh no.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Not the rice.
Yeah, I went right for the rice.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
And I said oh no, no, not the rice.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Yeah, we're right for the rice.
So I wonder also, like we'retalking through like scenarios,
of why people operate this way.
We identify cultural anddifferent things, but I wonder
also too, like when you're awoman and you go through the
process of having kids, you knowa lot of women lose their
(14:02):
identity when they go through,when they go through so much
life change, not just physical,but like mental and emotional,
and all the things like what?
what do I do with my new body?
What do I do with this new babythat's taking over my life?
How do I, how do I juggle myhusband, my, my baby myself, my
(14:23):
career, my housework, and peoplelose their identity and a lot
of times, within that,everything else becomes priority
.
Right, the kid becomes priority, everything you know, the job
becomes priority, becomespriority.
The husband, whatever it may be.
(14:45):
And so when they finally get toa point like they're like man,
I gotta do something about myweight because it's just I don't
feel good, I feel, I feel, youknow, 90 years old and and I
have all this extra weightbecause of the baby or whatever
it may be, and they, they'vegone through a postpartum
depression.
It, you know, it, takes them aminute to like regain their
(15:06):
identity.
You know, and and and with thatit's like self, like your,
their value, their strength,their ability to, to shut off,
you know, bad noise in theirbrain, like they have to create
that skillset again to be ableto think that way.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Yeah, yeah, I, it's, it's.
It's interesting that you knowwe're.
We're talking about this justthis.
This past week I had a clientthat came in.
She came in with her husband.
She was like, I want to say shewas like 60, 62.
She says to me and her husbandwas so supportive.
She says to me I have fivechildren, she goes.
(15:44):
One.
We had four we adopted.
She goes.
I always put them first.
I sent them all to privateschool.
They went to college.
I worked hard, I paid foreverything, and she goes.
Now they're all grown, they'reout of the house.
She goes.
And now I look at me and I lookin the mirror and I don't
recognize who I see.
(16:04):
And she says I have lost myselfand I have tried and tried and
tried and I don't know how toget back on track.
Um, and he goes.
I want to enjoy my retirement,I want to be there for my
grandchildren, I want to go totheir recitals and I want to go
to their graduations.
And she goes.
(16:25):
It's time for me.
And she said it's going to be along time to figure it out and
to get here.
She goes, but I'm here.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
And then one thing is saying that, another thing that
while you're on the program istaking action, some people
figure out that they're not asstrong or as ready as they
thought they were going to be,and so then we have to deal with
that too and help them throughthat.
Yeah, you know sometimes likeokay, I'm ready, I'm ready to do
this, I'm ready, but then whenyou actually have to take action
(16:57):
and do it, you're like crap,maybe I wasn't as ready as I
thought I was is it?
Speaker 3 (17:03):
I'm ready, but is it this week?
Speaker 1 (17:04):
yeah, or maybe you know there's something that I
gotta work through to get to thepoint that I'm 100% yeah, like,
like, how do I live without theflavored creamers?
Like yeah, oh my gosh thefrappuccino and starbucks that
I'm used to.
Yeah, like it's such a shift oflife, um, and the way that,
that the person needs to eat andand the way that they look at
(17:27):
food and the food relationship.
There's so much to it.
Yeah, as, as humans, as adefault, we go back to excuses,
self-sabotaging and analysis,paralysis.
Speaker 3 (17:39):
So, it is, yeah, it's , you know.
I, I guess if know, if somebodyis out there and they're
listening.
Please understand this is whateverybody defaults to uh, at
least once before they get ittogether, because I think we've
(18:04):
all gone through it.
I don't know a single personwho's like super disciplined.
I don't know anybody that'ssuper disciplined all the time.
I don't know anybody that isthat always does the right
choice.
I don't know anybody that, youknow, never hesitates, never
wonders, and certainly, as women, like Martha said, you, you
know, we start giving ofourselves and giving of
(18:26):
ourselves and giving ofourselves.
You know, and a lot of men dotoo they work their butts off
for their family and you knowall that self-care, you know,
all the gym, all the.
You know healthy eating and theprotein powder and the did that
they were doing, you know, kindof goes out the window.
Hence they paint the dad bod.
You know, like it's not justexclusive to women.
(18:49):
It's a thing, right, lifehappens and we get busy and we
lose.
You know.
We lose track of what we needto do for ourselves because we
don't want to be selfish.
But the problem is, if you'renot somewhat selfish in how you
take care of your physical selfright.
(19:09):
If you do not make time to keepyourself healthy, you will
eventually have no choice but tomake time for whatever illness
develops.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
True, your body's gonna make you go there.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
You know.
A lot of times, too, thesethings are habits that you have
to change right, like snackingat night.
Are you really hungry or is ita habit, Like you need something
in your hand to snack on, andso it's hard.
It's hard to make these changes, but once you start making them
, they stick.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Yeah, yeah.
So for those who are listeningor watching, if this resonates
with you, you need to give us acall.
We help people every single daywalk through, break through,
conquer these challenges that weall go through.
Yeah, give us a call, messageus.
Our website isinspireweightlosscom and we are
(20:02):
here to help you.
Until next time, midlifeMadness podcast and YouTube Guys
, we're so excited to share morewith you.
Keep a lookout for our nextepisode.
Talk to you soon.
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