Celebrating Episode 250 and Raising Awareness with Tiffany Eldefonso

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:25):
Tiffany Aldeponso.
How are you?
I'm great thanks.
Thanks for having me.

Speaker 2 (00:31):
I'm happy you're here .
I'm glad you're here.

Speaker 1 (00:34):
I'm happy to be here.

Speaker 2 (00:35):
You're here.
You're a huge supporter.
Surprise you're here because alot of people like I talk to I
don't really promote it, butyou've been like the number one
supporter since I've told youand you listen and you're like,
oh, I like that episode.
I'm like really I thought itwas trash, but you always, you
know, uh, turn it into positiveand you know, just basically

(00:59):
dissect it your way and it'sbeen helpful ever since.
So I appreciate you and yoursupport and the love of the game
, whether it's rodeo or running,but you're here because of
running and the active lifestyle.

Speaker 1 (01:21):
Yeah, I'm trying to stay with an active lifestyle,
really trying to promote that.
It's been a tough few years, soto be consistent and really
stay in that mental space, it'sbeen difficult.
So really trying to get backinto it.

(01:43):
So really trying to get backinto it.
Um, we got the badger challengecoming up and once again I'm
going to attempt the 100k.
I um what dnf the 100k, but Iguess I finished the 50 miler,
so whatever that means.
Um, that was the first race Idnf'd.
It was kind of disappointing,but that was a rough one for me.

(02:09):
I don't know if I was in thebeginning stages of hypothermia
towards the last, like ten, sixmiles, but I was like falling
asleep with my eyes open,running the trail and I had my
pal behind me back that I've mettwo years ago at Badger, so

(02:33):
she's going to come over andwe're going to do the 100K
together this year.
Yes, Well, in the last two yearswe had just happened to meet up
at an aid station and last yearwe just just happened to meet
up at an aid station and lastyear we just made this really
special connection.
We found out we were, um, bothof our moms had passed away the

(02:53):
previous year and, withoutcommunicating, um, while we
caught up to each other duringthe race, uh, we found out that
we were doing that race for ourmothers Okay.
So yeah, we made a greatconnection and have stayed in
touch and we're going to do this, we're going to complete it

(03:16):
this year.

Speaker 2 (03:16):
And do it together.

Speaker 1 (03:17):
Yeah, the 100K.

Speaker 2 (03:19):
And what are you going to do it for this time?
Just for yourself, you guys,guys, the team, what?

Speaker 1 (03:29):
have you thought?
Of that yet I have 100 okay sowhat is it?

Speaker 2 (03:33):
why are you guys doing it this year?

Speaker 1 (03:35):
um, her, we haven't talked about it but, um,
something that's been close, uh,to my heart, and I have a
couple special people in my lifewho have gone through something
, something that you know couldhave been very devastating, and

(03:57):
it turns out the outcome has,you know, been a little bit
better than maybe expected.
Okay, been a little bit betterthan maybe expected.
So, yeah, I have a really goodgirlfriend that I've been
friends with for over 30 years,and then you Me, yeah, so you

(04:19):
both had the same diagnosis.

Speaker 2 (04:24):
The Hodgkin's lymphoma.

Speaker 1 (04:25):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (04:26):
Yeah, okay.

Speaker 1 (04:27):
And so I was like you know what, I always try to pick
something.
I wasn't extremely vocal aboutit last year, I was a little bit
, but it was super personal whenit came to my mother that I was
running for that and herpassing from ultimately passing

(04:50):
from cirrhosis.
And then the year before thatwas for the MMIW.
So murdering missing indigenouswomen yeah, okay, so, okay, so,
yeah.
So this year I was debatingwhether or not I was going to

(05:12):
and I'm like you know whatthat's going to be my whatever
awareness.

Speaker 2 (05:20):
Yeah, you guys are going to do it together.
Is that your way of showing?
And then she has her own, orare you guys both coming
together and raising awarenessof the same causes?

Speaker 1 (05:32):
of breast cancer awareness.
She's actually climbed MountShasta last year for that,
raising like thousands ofdollars for that, and she had

(05:53):
put up a post asking people tojoin her this year.
So you know, if time allows it,I think I'm going to join her
with that.

Speaker 2 (06:02):
Yeah, yeah, for a mountain, mount Shasta.
Mount Shasta, and she did itlast year.

Speaker 1 (06:05):
Time allows it, I think I'm gonna join her with
that, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (06:06):
So for mountain mount shasta mount shasta, and she
did it last year.
Why is she gonna do it again?

Speaker 1 (06:10):
it's it's quite hectic yeah, the the same breast
cancer awareness.
Okay all right, so I'm like, ohyeah, if I have time, heck yeah
, I'll jump on board.

Speaker 2 (06:22):
You're going to do it today.

Speaker 1 (06:25):
I think that's what she did last year.

Speaker 2 (06:28):
Avalanche Gulch area.
Okay, today will be good, justmake sure you start.
When you go up there, you'rethe first group to go for,
depending on year, because ifit's during the dry season,
rocks.

Speaker 1 (06:45):
Yeah.
Rocks are a problem if summeris the dry season, then yeah,
yeah.

Speaker 2 (06:51):
well, you got to get it at a perfect spot and misery
ridge, as they call it, up top,right before you hit um, uh, the
summit, that's, it's heck,that's.
That stops a lot of people.
But if she did it, more powerto you, yeah, and if you can do
it, hey, sign me up.

Speaker 1 (07:10):
I'll be.
Yeah, I haven't quite decided.
I'd have to see you know,figure out the logistics and see
where I'm going to be at thatpoint in time.
But, yeah, I definitely want tosupport her in that she's a
really super special person.

Speaker 2 (07:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (07:27):
Super special, yeah.
So if you're around during theBadger, I will introduce you.

Speaker 2 (07:34):
She's still debating on it.
I'm still debating because Ijust don't want to fly right now
.
I don't want to fly, I'm stilldebating.

Speaker 1 (07:43):
So I might be on there.

Speaker 2 (07:44):
But now that you put that Hodgkin's lymphoma thing in
there, I'm like oh gosh.
You know I have to do my bestto support you.

Speaker 1 (07:51):
Oh gosh, yeah, I don't know.
Yeah, I've always thought the100 miler and I'm obviously just
not there.
I just haven't that one I wouldneed to put an effort into.
I've tried it three times inDNF.

Speaker 2 (08:08):
That's another reason why I'm not really focusing on
Badger right now.
I donate so much money there.
I'm tired of donating right nowand I just needed a break from
Badger even though it's in mybackyard.

Speaker 1 (08:22):
Yes, yes, it is difficult just going through it
one time and then having to godo it again.

Speaker 2 (08:32):
Think about it Doing it again.
It's intimidating.

Speaker 1 (08:36):
It's very, very intimidating, but yeah, so I'm
sticking to the 50-miler,probably the 50Ks and 50 miler.
If I dabble much more intoultra would probably be my
distances.

Speaker 2 (08:55):
How much training are you doing right now?

Speaker 1 (08:58):
I just started.

Speaker 2 (08:59):
Yeah, okay.

Speaker 1 (09:00):
A little bit up, just getting up those hills, just
getting my legs up those hills,because those I don't know why,
like downhill, I can go downhill.
It is those uphills that justkill.
So just going up the front partof Badger, or the beginning

(09:23):
part of the Badger, yep, what isit?
Not the face, but just going thestart of Badger, yeah, the
start of the course and I tellyou what.
That is what gets me, and Idon't know if it's just because
you I'm warming up, but just thebeginning of any run.

(09:46):
Yeah, badger, especially thatjust going up just well, the
steps are the worst part periodthe steps.

Speaker 2 (09:55):
The steps are the worst part.
I'll.
I'll let you know that.
That's how I feel, so.
But it's also, you know, youstart with the group and then
it's like, okay, it's notintimidation, it's more like,
okay, let's fill it out a bit.
But as you're filling it out,you're also filling out the
crowd, the competition, and soyou're trying to stay afloat but

(10:18):
not look weak.

Speaker 1 (10:19):
Oh, 100%.
But you know what, At the verybeginning, I'm like DFL, I don't
even care.
I just want to get up thisfirst part.
Once I get up there and mymuscles warm up.
I can start running the backface and start running.
But yeah, it is intimidatingand it's a little bit of a

(10:43):
little check to the ego,especially for me, you know.

Speaker 2 (10:47):
Yeah, I'm like I know this course.
It's a check to the ego foreveryone.

Speaker 1 (10:50):
This is my backyard and I'm like trailing towards
the end.

Speaker 2 (10:55):
Right.

Speaker 1 (10:56):
But that also goes, you know, like you said, my
training or lack thereof.

Speaker 2 (11:01):
I don't say lack thereof, thereof.
So I don't say lack thereof.
I just get a trip because themore like I've said before, the
podcast, the more I interviewpeople, starting from John Kelly
you know, I've had MikeMcKnight on, I've had some big
names on and so the more I'vebeen interviewing just daily
runners at.

(11:21):
You know, not average runnersbut daily runners that just go
out there and do what they dobest.
I've noticed, you know, they dominimal work but they conquer
it.
Me, I have to not go minimal, Idon't have to go above and
beyond, but I have to get tothat right mojo, to the point

(11:43):
that you know mentally I canprepare myself to finish
something like that or dosomething that way.
But then, you know, deshauna Jocame on and I asked her
recently did you listen?

Speaker 1 (11:53):
to that episode.
Oh my God loved her Right.

Speaker 2 (11:55):
And I just love that she's.

Speaker 1 (11:56):
You know she's native .
And I was like oh, my God, likeI have no desire, no huge, you
know driving desire to do 100mile.
I'm like you know what, maybeonce upon a time it was there,
but maybe that wasn't, it wasn'tmy dream, maybe it was somebody
else's and I wanted, so Iwanted it too.

(12:18):
But you know, if I can getthere, if I can get to the point
where I become more disciplinedin my training, you know, maybe
I can, but I don't have to bethere.
But listening to that podcast,she just moves.
I'm like if she can do it, youknow, yeah, but yeah, that was
awesome.
And yeah, her story, yeah, justlistening to, you know.

Speaker 2 (12:42):
Yeah, um, just listening to you know, yeah, and
she, she put on the mark, foryou know, more than anybody that
I've interviewed, just movementis helpful, is key.
You know a lot of people likehave this regiment their routine
.
You know, john Kelly, he ran towork, ran back, you know, after
work he, he had it all listedout because he's that he's an

(13:05):
engineer, you know, and so he,he has to have a routine.
And then you know there's otherpeople that will just make a
hundred miles of uh on a day,you know, and it's just like
gosh, that's a little too much.
But then some people would saythat's not enough.
But lately I've been gettingthe daily runners the daily
movers, as I would like to sayand call them that, asking them

(13:31):
what their regimen is or whattheir weekly miles are.
It's unbelievable to know thatthey put in 20 to 30 miles a
week and complete 250-mile racewith ease, not dead last, not, I
mean with ease.
It's unbelievable to even know,because we're, we're, we sign

(13:54):
up for these things, thinkingthat we can't do a minimum, we,
we have to do above and beyond.
But then there's a group ofpeople like yourself that just
put everything to shame, believeit or not, and just do it and
complete it.
Me, if I get in my own headbecause I have a 15-minute mile,

(14:17):
I start doubting myself and I'mlike in my head, in my head, I
try to get it out of my head,but I get so focused on that 15
minute mile.
That's something.
I forget, something you know,whether it's water or food or
you know electrolytes orsomething.
It just ruins my day.

(14:38):
So the smallest thing that Ifind like the pettiest thing, I
will have it make me quit.
I'll quit lately.
I just been quitting lately.
I'll finish, you know, the uh,the 12 hour, the 24 hour races,
but timed events, I'll just quit, I'll just quit.

(14:59):
It's like whatever, I don't knowwhy.
It's just because it I find itnot fun.
Fun, I find something out of myroutine.
It's just weird.
But then, when talking to youguys, I'm like how do you do
that?
How do you just say, okay, I'mgonna finish it the way I want
to finish it the way I want it,you know, and it's just it.

(15:19):
To me it's weird.
But the more I'm interviewingyou guys, it's like it's not
really weird, it's like I don'tknow, it feels good, it's a
relief, but I can't see it formyself if that makes sense, I am

(15:40):
fully aware and understand thatI am in no shape or form or
discipline at this stage in mylife.

Speaker 1 (15:52):
Not saying that it won't happen in the future, but
right now I am happy and beingbetter than I was yesterday and
that goes with all aspects of mylife.
You know what I mean.
Yeah, like you know what.
I don't care who.
You know what they're doingover there, what they're doing
over there.
What you know.
What I care about is you knowwhat am I doing?

(16:12):
And am I better than I wasyesterday?
And that you know, and thatjust you know, spills over into
running too Shoot, like when Ireally started getting back into
it, because I used to be arunner in junior high and
started in high school and, longstory short, you know, just

(16:35):
kind of had a little bit of adysfunctional childhood and my
parents couldn't keep ittogether.
My mom would come and go and Iwas just starting high school
and I was a good runner in thismid-distance track and
cross-country and had all theseplans to go places and I don't

(17:00):
know exactly what happened.
I just know that my mom tookoff and it was my first day
across country.
I had always been one of thetop girls, if not the top, you
know finishing whatever we weredoing in practice and I fell
behind the girl who always camein behind me.
I fell behind and I walked.

(17:23):
We were running laps around thetrack and I walked off the
track mid-practice and I waslike fuck it.

Speaker 2 (17:33):
That was end of it.

Speaker 1 (17:35):
It was For how long.

Speaker 2 (17:36):
For how long did you quit running from men?

Speaker 1 (17:39):
I would run off and on just to like try to stay in
shape.
You know, after I had my kidsno real commitment in shape.
You know, after I had my kids,um, no, no real commitment.
Just you know and nothing outof, mostly out of, I don't know,
vanity or just wanting to loseweight yeah um, but we started
back um again maybe in 2017 or18, started doing races and yeah

(18:06):
, it felt good.
Yeah, I was doing good, but yeah, that I will tell you, that has
.
I mean, if there's ever been aregret in my life, it was high
school.
Like there's so much truth inyou know, like when's the first
thing you quit, once you quit.

Speaker 2 (18:27):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (18:28):
You're going to be quit a rusty line.

Speaker 2 (18:31):
I gotcha, I gotcha.

Speaker 1 (18:34):
So that was yeah, that's very telling, that's very
telling.

Speaker 2 (18:39):
Let's go back to junior high high school.
Why did you start running backthen?
Why did you start?
Is it to get away from thehouse?

Speaker 1 (18:48):
No, I loved it.
You know I talk about runningnow and people go oh, you must
love running.
Oh, you must love it.
Dude.
No, you've got to like, I'vegot to mentally prepare myself,
sometimes like you're going todo this, but back then I loved
it.
It started one time when my momwas off on one of her little

(19:18):
adventures, I guess, and it wasjust my dad and my two younger
brothers.
So a lot of times he didn'thave babysitters for us.
But another thing was he alwaysstayed active, whether it's
playing racquetball, going tothe you know local little gym in
grand coulee, um.
But one of the main things ishe would pack us in the car,
take us down to this little roaddown by the river and we'd go

(19:40):
running.
He'd take us running and wejust followed behind, follow
behind him.
You know back then, no earbuds,nothing.
It was just you Well, didn'thave earbuds back then and the
pavement and I just rememberseeing my dad running ahead of
me and I just was like one day,one day.

Speaker 2 (19:59):
And.

Speaker 1 (19:59):
I don't remember how old I was.
I want to say I was probably insixth grade, Probably even
younger than that.
We're running and towards theend of the course or the road
that we would run on, there wasthis slight, you know, uphill
grade, not anything terriblejust a slight one and I remember

(20:23):
the day I passed him up and hewas like wow, he's like good job
, daughter.
So that's where it came from,just going running with my dad.

Speaker 2 (20:34):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (20:35):
Yeah, I loved it, and so it was love at first sight.
Yeah, I did, I loved it.
I would ask him.

Speaker 2 (20:45):
when are we going to go run in town?
That's cool, and he brought youin, correct?

Speaker 1 (20:48):
Oh, yeah me and my little brothers.
Yeah, they would trail behind,but we'd all do it.

Speaker 2 (20:56):
Well, I'm glad it was received well because I
remember when my dad finallyrealized he's done Boston a few
times, done JFK Marathon back inthe day, you know, before it
was big.

Speaker 1 (21:09):
Super cool.

Speaker 2 (21:10):
Yeah, ultra marathons weren't a thing, but he did it
and everything else.
But then when I did crosscountry in high school and
excelled in it and started doingraces against him and passed
him up, I never heard the end ofit and we never ran together
ever again.
Oh no, once he found out that Ibeat him in Army 10-miler, I

(21:33):
guess the last 10 minutes.
We were just going at it and heknew that he was going to get
beat.

Speaker 1 (21:40):
I heard it.

Speaker 2 (21:41):
I heard it and was not accepting.

Speaker 1 (21:43):
No, yeah that was not accepted.

Speaker 2 (21:44):
No, yeah, that was not the end of my running career
, but our career.
Because I remember growing upand you know when he's training
for all these races like theHonolulu Marathon.

Speaker 1 (21:58):
That's my favorite the Portland.

Speaker 2 (21:59):
Marathon back when it was, you know, not in shambles
and whatnot.
I'd always ride a bike and hewould travel to these races.
I would do the five mile, hewould do the 10K or the 10 mile
or you know the big races, andI'd, you know, be the youngest
one on the course and you knowdoing what I do best.
But yeah, once I beat him inthe Army 10 miler in my high

(22:24):
school years.
It just went south.

Speaker 1 (22:30):
Oh, super competitive huh.

Speaker 2 (22:32):
I guess.
So I don't know.
I just thought it was somethingthat we both enjoyed and we can
come together on.

Speaker 1 (22:39):
Right.

Speaker 2 (22:40):
That race.
I will never forget it.
We were coming past after theCapitol building.
It was almost towards the end.
We were Pentagon and thenCapitol building.
We were going head to head.
I passed him, didn't look back,beat him.
That ride home afterwards wasnot the best.

(23:02):
Oh man, you had a ride with himtoo, yeah yeah, so that was good
that you know your dad took youunder his wing and you guys
continued.
So when 2017 came this is afteryour long break, you know, from
quitting, as you said, 2017,what started it all back up

(23:25):
again.

Speaker 1 (23:27):
Well, it never completely left.
I would take up running hereand there, you know, a couple
miles, maybe upwards, aroundfive or six, just to kind of
stay in shape, but to do itconsistently.
I don't remember exactly whatthe date was 2017 or 2018.

(23:47):
My spouse at the time was like,hey, you know, we can, this is
something that maybe we can takeup and do together and we can
make like weekend getaways outof it.
And I was like heck, yeah,right out of it.

(24:07):
And I was like heck, yeah,Right, yeah, 100%, that would be
awesome.
So I think that kind of wasmaybe the catalyst to try more
distance.
Okay, but it had mostly beenhalf marathons and full
marathons just up in there.
And so just, I think up untiltwo years ago, oh, when I turned

(24:30):
50.
That was the big thing for me.
That year was 50, whether itwas a 50 miler or a 50K,
honolulu had their 50thanniversary for the Honolulu
Marathon that year.
So I was like, and I justturned 50 then.
So, yeah, 50.
I did the uh, what's that?

(24:50):
Bellingham, the big one.

Speaker 2 (24:51):
And checking up.
Okay, yeah, yeah, you likedthat one.

Speaker 1 (24:56):
No, I didn't, I was a hot mess but I loved it.
You know what I loved about it?
I was, but I loved it.
You know what I loved about it?
I was sure I was like one ofthe last couple, like behind
everybody, and I'm going up thishill and it was still snowy,
yeah, so I'm just like it iswhat it is.

(25:17):
Yeah, I'm just kind of notworried about like walking.
If I had to walk even thougheverybody else was just like
flying by yeah, yeah, flyingdown.
So I see this woman like runningdown, just flying down, and I'm
like oh, right on.
And I was just like oh, leopardtattoos.
And I'm like oh God, I'm likegood job, right on.

Speaker 2 (25:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (25:41):
And then I was like oh my God, was that Devin.

Speaker 2 (25:48):
Devin Yank, job right on, yeah.
And then I was like, oh my god,was that devon, devon yanko?
I was like, oh, like yellowrunner, right huh, who's, who's
that the yellow runner correct?

Speaker 1 (25:53):
um, she's from, like, I think, the bellingham area,
and she's living down incolorado now yeah, what's her
name that everybody calls herdevon um I would.
You're right, there issomething I can't.

Speaker 2 (26:09):
It's not the yellow runner, is it?

Speaker 1 (26:10):
I think it's the yellow runner.
It might be Okay, no, but dude,um.
When I first started to getback into running, I would watch
YouTube and um, like womendistance runners or women who
run ultras and I came across herand her story, just freaking,

(26:32):
resonated.
I don't know if you've beenable to like look her up or
listen to her story.

Speaker 2 (26:37):
I looked her up.
I haven't listened to her story, though.

Speaker 1 (26:40):
But I was like oh my God, yeah, she's my hero, she's
incredible, yeah, she's my hero,yeah.
She's incredible.

Speaker 2 (26:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (26:53):
Do you consider yourself a hero to some?
I don't consider myself a hero.
I would like to be, and thepeople I would like to be is to
my kids.
Yeah, you know, like when yousaid that you get in your head,
or and I said, you know, mybiggest reason for running is,
you know, to prove to myselflike I'm competing against
myself.
And you know, as far asimpressing anybody, I don't hang

(27:18):
out with the runner crowd,that's correct.

Speaker 2 (27:20):
I'm not like huge into it.

Speaker 1 (27:26):
I'm an introvert really.
I think when people get to knowme and they can get me talking,
they're surprised by it.
But I'm an introvert, let's saynot.

Speaker 2 (27:35):
Let's say I mean you have a lot of encouraging words,
you're an encouraging person,you're very positive, especially
towards people who share thesame interests.
I'm going to say hero, let'ssay people who look up to you
Besides family members.

Speaker 1 (27:54):
I don't know anyone.
What about your friend, your?

Speaker 2 (27:59):
friend is coming here .
You don't think she looks up toyou.

Speaker 1 (28:03):
Beck yeah.

Speaker 2 (28:05):
Shout out to beck.
Yeah, I was gonna ask you beccayeah, she's awesome.

Speaker 1 (28:09):
Um, I like I said, I, if I am, you know what bonus
that's, you know bonus, I, Iwould like to be in, I would
like to be an inspiration, butthat's not necessarily my goal.
I am, you know.

Speaker 2 (28:26):
I know that, but I mean, you got to look back to
you know that work.
That's how I know you as well.
You know from work.

Speaker 1 (28:34):
I know I love it and those kids.

Speaker 2 (28:35):
Those kids look up to you as well.

Speaker 1 (28:38):
I don't know.
They probably think I'm a crazymean lunch lady.

Speaker 2 (28:41):
You're right, that's funny.
That's funny.
No, no, I mean it.
It's funny how you look at itbecause you know I'm there and I
, I make sure you know safety isfirst for everyone and I
interact, make sure people knowthat they can trust us adults at
school, whatnot you know, justpositive influence and and I'm
sitting there and I normally you, you know, talk to you or Miss

(29:04):
Steph, shout out to her.
You know People, the kids, lookup to you guys and definitely
see you as an influence.
Whether you want to believe itor not, I see it, I feel it, I
hear it, and it's weird how mystuff doesn't accept it until I

(29:28):
have to say tell her and then,for you, I believe you would
accept it.
If I told you that these kids dolook up to you, if, if, if that
is true, I'm going to startcrying because I it's so funny

(29:53):
I've never considered myself.

Speaker 1 (29:54):
I've always wanted to be a mom and I am so blessed.
I have four outstandingchildren, but I've never been
one to like enjoy other people'skids Does that make sense.

Speaker 2 (30:02):
I got you, I got you.

Speaker 1 (30:03):
Like I love my kids, but then you know you get around
other kids.
You're like oh yeah, don't yourparents teach you any manners
or anything?
Yeah so, and never in mywildest dreams did I ever aspire
to be a lunch lady.
I'll tell you what I'm like oh,I want to grow up to be a lunch

(30:23):
lady.
But you know I'm like oh, Iwant to grow up to be a lunch
lady.
You've been doing it for howlong?
Four years now.
I know I'm surprised, but lifethrew a curve and I'm like, oh,
I guess I'll try to do this.
Anyways, I did and I'm sothankful because during that

(30:46):
period of my life the districtdirector of the nutrition
services.
I had been working at anelementary a couple hours a day
and it was just to.
I just needed something.
So, um, she pulled me aside andshe goes.
I want you to apply for themanagement position at Richland

(31:09):
High and I'm like I'm likelooking around.
I'm like me like.
I saw something and um, youknow.
And to other people you knowthey're like oh, you're a lunch
lady or you know they might notthink too much of it, but the
girls I work with, terry andSteph, have been there, jesse,

(31:34):
almost since day one.
Yeah, I have so much fun.

Speaker 2 (31:40):
It looks like it.

Speaker 1 (31:41):
Oh God, it looks like it.
Oh God, we need to find awriter to come in and work with
us, because there's somethingthere.
There is a show, a sitcom, amovie about lunch, ladies.

Speaker 2 (31:56):
Like the Office, you would die.
Yeah, yeah, oh, no, yeah.

Speaker 1 (32:01):
It would be incredible.
So you know, I never thoughtmuch of that position and I am
so grateful for it because onthe days where I did not want to
get out of bed, it got me outof bed and I did it.
And then I started working withthese kids and I was like, ew,

(32:21):
are they people's teenagers?
And god darn it, I love them.
There have been a couple kids,it's rewarding.
And sometimes just with thisgeneration.
They don't know how tocommunicate.
They have a hard timecommunicating or making eye
contact, so I would makebreakfast in the morning.

(32:44):
I'm getting up at 4, 4.30 in themorning to come cook these kids
breakfast.
And I'm like, good morning,have a nice day.
And they're not even looking atme and I'm like, and I'm like
you, rotten kids.
And I'm like you know what, I'mgoing to keep doing it every
single day.
And then there was one kiddoing it every single day.
And then there was one kid Ihaven't seen him lately, but he,

(33:10):
yeah, would not and it was likea little bit embarrassing.
I would be like he would be theonly one going through the line
and I would be like goodmorning.
And he would continue to starehard down and grab his.
I'm like, have a good day, flatout ignore me.
And I'm like, oh, I'm like, oh,rotten kid.

(33:30):
But I'm like you know what?

Speaker 2 (33:32):
I don't care, I'm gonna keep doing it, you know
what they come around one dayyeah, it took probably three
quarters of the year.

Speaker 1 (33:43):
And then one day I said good morning and he started
to get his food and then I'mlike have a good day.
And then he stopped and helooked at me.
He goes thank you, have a goodday.

Speaker 2 (33:54):
From then on, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I'm like oh my
goodness, that's all it takes.

Speaker 1 (33:57):
That's all it takes, yeah.

Speaker 2 (34:12):
So, yeah, I totally agree, it's so rewarding.
You also have to know thatbeing quarantined this is the
time that these kids wereelementary slash middle school
in quarantine and they were leftout on a lot of things socially
yeah, so socially awkward ornot knowing how to approach
their parents at you know, and,yeah, once, once you start, you
know making headway and they,they see a friendly face and

(34:33):
then they see that you know it'snot fake, it's real.
And the consistency between youknow, your guys' relationship,
friendship or you know, whateveryou guys have, they see it and
it builds from there and you cansee so much from it.
That's what gets me, that'swhat gets me going in every day

(34:54):
in and out of.
Yeah, there's, it's veryuplifting to know the smallest
things get to these kids and youmake headway.

Speaker 1 (35:06):
You know exactly, and you don't ever know, I mean,
just like in anybody's life whatthey're going through, what's
going on, and sometimes I feelit just comes so naturally now,
because that's just what myroutine, you know, like good
morning, you know, just puttingan extra effort into

(35:32):
acknowledging them, letting themknow that they're being,
they're seen.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Oh yeah, and I don't know itcan make a difference.
I think that's huge, lettingpeople know that they are seen.

Speaker 2 (35:48):
Well, I'll let you know.
You'll see more if you continueto make pulled pork sandwiches.
It's a big seller there.
I like the baked potatoes.
Those kids are like what isthat?
Because when I stand therethey're always like what you?
Because you know, when I standthere they're always like what's
up there?
What's up there?
Oh, pork there.

(36:08):
Oh, that's their first, uh,first reaction.
Oh, and they're right there.

Speaker 1 (36:13):
Yeah, I wish I wish I could you know when the first
year I started I didn't reallyknow and I was just making
whatever I wanted like my ownrecipes and stuff and the kids
were like they loved it and theywere like, oh, and then the
second year my boss pulled measide and I've been told to rein
you in.
You need to start following the, which is 100, I do you know,

(36:38):
with all the allergies and stuffgoing on.
Yeah, um, but yeah, the kidsliked it better when I did my
own thing.

Speaker 2 (36:46):
So that leads me to bring on something else You've
been wanting and you've talkedabout it to me since I first met
you a food truck.
I know why is that on the backburner?
Why have you been thinkingabout it?
I know it's time consuming it.

(37:08):
I know it's time consuming.
I know I've, you know,encouraged someone who's very
successful out in Kennewick.
You know, going from a foodtruck to mortar now brick and
mortar, you know, and justslaying the game.
So what's keeping you fromdoing that?

Speaker 1 (37:21):
Okay, so remember when I told you I lack
discipline.
Okay, so remember when I toldyou I lack discipline.

Speaker 2 (37:28):
I love the honesty.
I love the honesty.

Speaker 1 (37:33):
And I can, Like I said, I know myself and I know
me as a person and I love people.
I think and also, I won't gointo like a lot of detail, but I

(37:53):
am a Christian and I think mycalling has been to you know, be
of service and to love people,people, and with that being said
, I am not perfect.

Speaker 2 (38:11):
I'm a human being and I sometimes make horrible
decisions.

Speaker 1 (38:12):
So I you know that has been a huge part.
What I really need to do is tosit down and write a business
plan.
I think, like most people, whenyou are presented with a task
that seems overwhelming, it cankeep you from, you know,

(38:38):
completing it.

Speaker 2 (38:41):
It's something you're good at, it's great.
I mean, you brought homemadelumpias.
You've made homemade lumpiasfor us in the past, and when I
say us, it seems like ray and Iare treated like kings when you
make these foods, because it'seither the lumpias or something
that you just uh, what's that?
One thing that you madeenchiladasiladas.

(39:02):
Enchiladas.
But there was something elsethe cheesecake is out of this
world Indian tacos.

Speaker 1 (39:10):
Did you have the Indian tacos?
I made Indian tacos a few times.

Speaker 2 (39:14):
Yeah, I'm not sure, but all I know is the cheesecake
, the enchiladas, the food thatyou make, the lumpias.
Uh, you know, Ray and I arefirst ones there.
First guys there're not out outof the group the only you guys
are spoiled the only.
I haven't had a cheesecake in awhile, but I know I know I've

(39:35):
been thinking about it I wasthinking.
I was like I wonder if she'sgonna make a cheesecake but not.
Lumpia's are good.

Speaker 1 (39:42):
Lumpias are good.
The thing with a cheesecake ittakes a good few hours to make.

Speaker 2 (39:51):
But it's so delicious , yeah, and the fresh fruit that
you put on it.
I mean you put a lot on there,the fruit.

Speaker 1 (39:58):
Yeah, I do, and that's still I'm not going to
say in the back of my mind it's,it's floating around mid mid
mine, um, about making some sometype of headway.
Um, hopefully I get my, my foodtruck or something going Cause.

(40:20):
Um, if there's anything to be Iknow I'm good at, yeah Is
cooking, and you know whatbigger waste is there if you
don't use your talent.

Speaker 2 (40:38):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (40:40):
All right, well, some kind of fruition somewhere.

Speaker 2 (40:46):
All right, so Badger, right, you have, badger.
Any other races coming up thisyear, or is you just going one
by one and you're going to hitHonolulu?

Speaker 1 (40:59):
again the Hapalua, which is Oahu's big half
marathon, and it's usuallyduring spring break, but the
last couple years it's beenafter our spring break, so I

(41:21):
can't even hit it with a longweekend.
You know what I mean?
Well, no, actually I could, butafter coming off of spring
break that's going to really befrowned upon.
So I've missed Hapalua.
I have been doing the Jack andJill Snoqualmie to North Bend

(41:42):
consistently All downhill, alldownhill, I suppose, dude, I
don't know what is up with thatrace, you would think I'm like,
okay, maybe this year I can geta Boston qualifier.

Speaker 2 (41:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (41:52):
That race is my nemesis.

Speaker 2 (41:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (41:58):
It's embarrassing.

Speaker 2 (41:59):
How is it your nemesis when it's all downhill?

Speaker 1 (42:02):
Because I always have to poop going through the
tunnel and it screws me and Iend up DFL.
I'm kidding, I'm I'm gorillawalking it out of the tunnel and
I'm like oh, it's the elevation, stop and shiver.
And they're like are you okay?
And I'm like I just I'm gonnapoop my pants.

(42:23):
Um, it is so bad, like last year, I was like totally dead
fucking last.
And this old man, like one ofthe guys who you know takes care
of the last little bit ofrunners, and he's like, are you
doing okay?
And I'm like, yep, I just gotto go to the bathroom.
And he's like, oh, is this yourfirst race?
I'm like, nope, no, it is not,that's so funny.

(42:47):
I love the honesty no, it's sofunny, I love the honesty.
So, um, yeah, dude, it is.
Yeah, the girls at work, they,they die.
They're like, uh, and I'm like,yeah, no wonder I can't find a
boyfriend, but anyways.
So, um, that race kills me.
If I can get through the firstfive or six miles without the

(43:10):
bathroom issues, I think I coulddo really good because I finish
it strong.
But the first five or six miles, not any other race.

Speaker 2 (43:22):
Yeah, I have that problem.

Speaker 1 (43:24):
That one just really.

Speaker 2 (43:26):
What's the elevation when you start?
Do you know?

Speaker 1 (43:28):
Oh, I don't even remember.
That can be a factor as well.

Speaker 2 (43:30):
You think so, yeah that.
And you know, if it's known forbeing all downhill, it can be,
and plus it's gravel right.

Speaker 1 (43:41):
Yeah, it's gravel or like kind of dirt road.
Yep, yep, and I love thedownhill.

Speaker 2 (43:46):
But that can be a huge factor.
And I love the downhill, butthat can be a huge factor.
The elevation you know, alongwith the diet coming up to race
day.
I mean, hopefully you don'tdrink coffee before a race, 100%
, that's another thing.
Yeah, you probably have to dialit in diet-wise and go for that

(44:07):
, play it by that, but alwayshave to use the bathroom before
you leave the hotel or whereveryou stay, I okay sometimes.

Speaker 1 (44:18):
Sometimes I do, I don't know race day nerves too,
yeah, I don't know if it's thatrace day.
Yeah, I'm like, come on, comeon, let's, yeah, yeah change I
would.

Speaker 2 (44:30):
I would say change your diet a bit, the like two
weeks coming up, or at least aweek, uh, going up to the race
just to see how it goes.
Because I know certain foodswill do the same thing for me,
and so I found that out yearsago that certain foods I don't

(44:50):
eat because of that and I juststay away from them and just
stick with a dry diet up untilrace day.

Speaker 1 (45:00):
Leading up to a race.

Speaker 2 (45:02):
Dry is always good for me.

Speaker 1 (45:07):
I don't know.
It's like it gets stage fright.
It's like, oh yeah, it'sshowtime and they're like, nope,
I'm not coming out.

Speaker 2 (45:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (45:16):
So I don't know it is what it is, but I keep doing it
.
You know, after the firstcouple of times it's just like I
don't care.
I poo my pants, I don't evencare anymore.
Gosh, it is what my pants?
I don't even care anymore.

Speaker 2 (45:29):
Gosh, it is what it is.
I mean it happens.
Like you know, they say shithappens and it does In a race,
it happens to the best of us.
You're funny.
Seriously, I don't even care,I'm like I have no shame.
Obviously you don't care,because you just you said I feel
like I need no shame.
Obviously you don't care,because you just you said I feel

(45:51):
like I need to shit my pants.

Speaker 1 (45:53):
I'm like yeah, and the best way to describe it is
like you know that gorilla walk.

Speaker 2 (45:58):
It's like shiver, shiver sometimes you walk like a
penguin too yes, well, I don'teven know.
Yeah when is that normally?

Speaker 1 (46:13):
um, that is in july, that one and um, I I like doing
the bno half, that's the, Ibelieve, enum claude uh summoner
half marathon.

Speaker 2 (46:27):
Yeah, you did that last year right?

Speaker 1 (46:28):
Yeah, I've done that a few times.
I really like that one Don'thave anything really lined up.
I want to get some hikes inthere.
The last couple years I went ona couple and then that long one
to Jade Lake, which was, Ithink, around a 23-mile round

(46:50):
trip.

Speaker 2 (46:51):
Okay so, when picking up your schedule, do you just
go through a list and be like,oh, this fits my schedule, let's
just do this, or do you?
I mean, you take it, you see it, you take it and you stick with
it throughout the years, orwhat?

Speaker 1 (47:09):
I think there's certain ones that I'm familiar
with and I know how I do, sothat's why I'm like.
Why do I keep going back toJack and Jill?
Probably you know, like you andBadger, it's like I'm like and
then I downhill, and I do greatdownhill Like it's my thing, but

(47:32):
that check and jail race I getmy worst times too.
But yeah, I do tend to stick tothe ones that I've already done.
Definitely would like to trysome other ones.
I'm trying to think.
There is, I think, like sometype of goat.
Does that make sense?

(47:55):
Goat Ultra over in like thePort Angeles area?

Speaker 2 (48:02):
I'm not sure they have some different distances.

Speaker 1 (48:05):
I don't hang out on the west side.
They have some differentdistances.

Speaker 2 (48:06):
I don't hang out on the west side.
If I do, it's mostly GretchenWallace runs or races over in
Bellingham area or the tree lineover.
I try to stay away from thewest side just because of
traffic and annoyance.
There's a huge differencebetween Seattle runners and
eastern Washington or Spokanerunners or Idaho runners.

Speaker 1 (48:28):
Really, oregon runners?
Oregon runners, yes.
What's the difference?

Speaker 2 (48:31):
Just attitude, wise attitude, and I've said that
since day one.
There's a huge differencebetween Washington climbers,
mountain climbers, to Oregon.
You know, depending on whatpart of Oregon you go to, it's,
it's, it's quite um, um, yeah,it's a quite a huge difference.
And, uh, from, like easternsierras to, you know, other

(48:57):
california mountains, there's adifference.
It's just, it's more welcomingdown there than it is up here.
Oh, really, yeah, but certainpeople, if you see them and this
is my opinion when you see themmore than one race they get to
know you, you get to know them,the camaraderie's there.

(49:21):
But if the camaraderie's notthere or if they're not really
familiar with it or they're nota familiar face, you're
considered an outsider.
I get that, just like the nomads.
When the nomads go EasternWashington, nomads go to the
West Side, we stick out like asore thumb and it's just

(49:44):
different.
So when it comes to the WestSide side, I normally stick with
the directors I know and andand like, and.
Gretchen wall is by far one ofthe best uh race directors that
are in the state of washingtonand I'll stick with her.
This year I'm not gonna do itjust because I'm just focusing
more on mountains and myself andwhatnot.

(50:04):
But yeah, I've said it, there'sa huge difference, attitude wise
, and um, seattle lights, notafraid to say it, ruined, um the
glory for me in a lot of things.
Yeah, yeah, I mean it shouldn'tbe like that.

(50:25):
I know I shouldn shouldn't feelthat way or let anybody get to
me like that, but there's a hugedifference.
You go to Leavenworth.
You know the difference betweenand that's a fine example you
know the difference between westside to east side.
You do, you do, and I'm apeople watcher.

(50:45):
You know I watch and I'm apeople watcher.
You know I.
Yeah, people watch and I, yeah,I get turned off and I just
stay in my zone and stay in mylane.

Speaker 1 (50:56):
Yeah, and I think, and I get what you're saying,
and I think that's why I'mcomfortable, like, running with
myself.
I don't need the, you know,maybe a camaraderie would be
nice.
I I don't have it and I don't,you know, necessarily have a
group or friend or anyone to runwith here, and and I'm fine

(51:19):
with that, because I I get myown like, my own thoughts, um,
and I've found, when I do go outrunning, when I am training, um
, for me it's not so much a of asocial sport and that's one
thing that I do love, like whenI did pick up with Beck, like we

(51:40):
can have those moments where we, we shared our stories or we
shared what was on our hearts atthat time, our stories, or we
shared what was on our hearts atthat time and um, but we can
sit there and let some distancecome between us and, you know,
meet back up.

Speaker 2 (51:57):
So yeah, even a lot of the Facebook pages or the
groups.
You know the climbing groupsPNW peak baggers I'm I'm just
putting names out there.
You know peak baggersone-on-one or groups, pnw Peak
Baggers I'm just putting namesout there.
You know Peak Baggers 101 orsomething like that.
I've been a part of those.

(52:17):
I've been a part of thoseconversations.
I've been part of the incidenton Mount Hood.
I've talked about that on thepodcast earlier in years.
You're damned if you do, you'redamned if you don't, if you.
You know that mass exodus onMount hood because avalanche
issue, you know the, the socialmedia, just, you know

(52:38):
Portlanders and Seattle lightsall came um and basically just
crapped all over the group thatdid the mass exodus all the way
up in mount hood, you know, andthey were like, oh, this,
whatever thought you can have on, uh, degrading people, that's
what they were doing.

(52:59):
But it wasn't just one or twopeople, it was hundreds of
people that did a mass exodus.
We were all on a congo lineright ready to go do uh, mount
hood avalanche, uh, they did theavalanche square.
It was unsteady.
Come to find out people andthey're, you know uh, keyboard
warriors, couch potato.

(53:20):
You know warriors saying, oh,it was approachable.
You could have finished it, youcould have done it.
I did it that day.
You know, you just get that andyeah, it's just not friendly
and it's a turnoff.
Should I let it or should I letit get to me?
No, but the arrogance and thecommunity is why I stick to

(53:44):
myself too.
You, you know, oh yeah, whetherit's climbing mountains,
traveling, yeah.
I just I do it for me and nobodyelse.
But I'm also down If you're afriendly person.
I'm always down for a greatconversation.
Yeah, if you.
If I say hi and you don't sayhi back, or you know just if you

(54:07):
don't even say hi, I'm notgoing to give you the time of
day.

Speaker 1 (54:11):
Yeah, Well, I mean, I think I don't know what is your
take, my take, my experience ishaving grown up in the
environment that I grew up youknow, dysfunction and walking on
eggshells and learning at avery young age.
You become extremely hyperempathetic and sensitive to your

(54:33):
like, surroundings and thepeople around you, so it's very
easy to read a room.
Yeah, because you, because ofthat experience, you I mean, you
know, walking into the house.

Speaker 2 (54:45):
I lived there.
I don't want to.
I don't want to experience that.

Speaker 1 (54:48):
And so it's easy for me to be in a group of people
and, I don't know, feel theenergy.
I'm not trying to be all like,you know no no, I got you, I got
you.

Speaker 2 (55:00):
Like a I went through it, lived through it.
I'm a grown man.
I don't want to experience itnow.
You know, as a 43-year-old.

Speaker 1 (55:12):
Yeah, exactly so you know, you can, you have the
experience, especially in yourprofession.
You can tell if someone's beinggenuine or authentic, or you
know, or if it's just like sometype of toxic positivity.
I prefer it is toxicitypositive, toxicity positive, or
if it's just like some type oftoxic positivity.

Speaker 2 (55:32):
It is toxicity positive, toxicity positive.
I don't think toxic is positive.

Speaker 1 (55:39):
But do you see what I'm saying?
I crave genuine and authenticcompanionship.
It's really difficult for me tosit there and jump in and make
small talk.

Speaker 2 (55:57):
Okay, does it, I can make small talk that's how I can
fill the room, read the room.
That's that's my way.
But if you're not willing dothat, then I'm not willing to
give you my time too.
And that's how I am when I'm atthese races, and I just stick
to myself because you know,anybody, like I said, us Eastern

(56:20):
Washington guys people are.
They stick out like a sorethumb compared to the people
that are already in their groupon the west side.
Yeah, and they come over here.
They're different too.
Yeah, it shouldn't be that way,but it's looked as and felt
that way and it's likeeverybody's walking on eggshells

(56:40):
and it shouldn't be so.

Speaker 1 (56:42):
Yeah, so I'm just wearing awareness, putting
awareness out there.

Speaker 2 (56:48):
Yeah, speaking of awareness, not trying to get
political, don't ever want toget political right, but you
mentioned something and that Ithink we should dive into, if
that's okay.
Uh-huh, you, you were sayingthe, you you raised awareness on
indigenous uh, native americanwomen missing, murdered, correct

(57:11):
, right?
Yeah, was it?

Speaker 1 (57:13):
um murder, missing indigenous women or, you know,
could also be mmiap murdered,missing in um.
There is a huge amount ofmissing indigenous men as well

(57:34):
that turn up.
You know, just turn up missing,and it's not just a north or,
excuse me, united States thing,it's also huge in Canada or
First Nations right why is itnot on billboards as much as it
should be?

Speaker 2 (57:52):
because it is an issue.
Why, why, why don't you hearabout it like I?
I barely hear about it whendoing this, and then when I hear
somebody like yourself mentionit earlier in the pot in this
episode, it's like you, you know, you just say it and then we go
to another subject, which I,you know.

(58:13):
We can always do that.
But why is it like that in thereal world?
Why?
Why is it not in the forefront?
And, uh, people have talk aboutit more.
Why is that?

Speaker 1 (58:28):
they're, they're just forgotten people Like if you
don't know about them, you don'thear about them, then it's not
important.
A lot of these people come fromjust a long history of

(58:48):
generational trauma.
You can imagine and you know alot of people are like get over
it.
Get over it.
If you understand psychology,understand generational trauma,
that's like it's in your genesand they are we.
I'm not only a descendant ofthe Colville tribe here in

(59:12):
Washington State.

Speaker 2 (59:13):
Oh you're from Colville Okay.

Speaker 1 (59:15):
Yeah, registered First Nation.
My band is the Cat's Aid Bandin Canada.

Speaker 2 (59:21):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (59:21):
But they're just a forgotten people.
They are not important and it'ssad.
Yeah, they're just a forgottenpeople.
They are not important and it'ssad.
Yeah, because if you Ipersonally, off the top of my
head, I don't have thestatistics, but if you were to
go to look them up, you would befloored.
Yeah, yeah, like.

Speaker 2 (59:39):
It is a problem, it's an epidemic.
I don't care what people say,but why is it just on the back
burner?
Why is it?
You know one or two people inour lifetime that will mention
that and then leave it and notfocus on it.

Speaker 1 (01:00:00):
You're focused on it?
Well, because it does hit closeto home for me.
I I'm like I said, you know Iam, I have a native background,
um, and I haven't always grownup like on a reservation.
Um, part of my life I was, andyou know I've been in like the

(01:00:25):
powwow scene, um, um, and I didhave a cousin who was murdered.
They know what happened, but,and I think they're just the

(01:00:47):
forgotten people, they'reunimportant to everybody and
it's difficult because you seewhat happened to the young lady
Gabby.

Speaker 2 (01:00:58):
Petito, petito, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:01:01):
How much media coverage she got.

Speaker 2 (01:01:03):
Right.

Speaker 1 (01:01:03):
And you know, as she should have, but so should these
missing, you know, indigenouspeople, not just women, but men
and children.
Yeah, you know, and I don'thave an answer for that, other
than I just think to mainstreamculture they're not important.

(01:01:24):
You know, out of sight, out ofmind, that's unfortunate,
absolutely yeah, that'sunfortunate.
Mm-hmm.
Absolutely.

Speaker 2 (01:01:31):
Yeah, I think that Gabby story, well, I think it's
overplayed out.
But yeah, I think I didn't likehow it was portrayed on the
Netflix using AI and everythingelse.
I think it's a fraud.
But yeah, that's just my take.

(01:01:53):
But I feel you know Wind River.
You seen that movie, wind River?

Speaker 1 (01:02:00):
Is it with what's his name?

Speaker 2 (01:02:03):
Yeah, what's his?
He did Marvel movies.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, renner,jeremy Renner.

Speaker 1 (01:02:12):
Yeah, I absolutely did see that it's like that.
Renner, jeremy Renner, yeah, Iabsolutely did see that.

Speaker 2 (01:02:15):
It's like that.
Right, once in a Blue Moon,somebody brings awareness to a
damn good movie, great movie.
Right Brought a lot ofawareness.
People are like, oh my gosh,you know for that minute and
then you hear nothing about it.

Speaker 1 (01:02:31):
Mm-hmm, it's been surprisingly.
It's been brought into, woveninto some storylines, but again,
you're right, you know it'sbrought up for a minute and then
it disappears.
It was also.
There was a little storyline ofit in the Dexter series.

(01:02:52):
Okay, I didn and the Dexterseries Okay.

Speaker 2 (01:02:54):
I didn't watch Dexter .
The way he acts was just like aturn off.
Isn't he like British too?

Speaker 1 (01:03:05):
I don't know if he's.

Speaker 2 (01:03:06):
British.
I've only seen him.

Speaker 1 (01:03:07):
I think like mostly in Dexter, but I've Mannerism is
off, so I get turned off.

Speaker 2 (01:03:13):
I just don't want to watch it, and I haven't watched
Dexter.
But I've mannerisms like is off, so I just I get turned off.
I just don't want to watch it,and I haven't watched Dexter at
all.

Speaker 1 (01:03:17):
Um, but so there was a little bit in there.
No, you're fine, A little red,You're fine.
And I, I, I don't have ananswer, you know I I can't read
other people's minds, but youknow, if I were to, like I said,
they're just not important and,um, forgotten.

(01:03:40):
That's sad.
It's sad Whether you're, youknow, red, yellow, black or
white.

Speaker 2 (01:03:47):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:03:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:03:49):
So, but there are websites out there right that
bring awareness to it there.
There are websites out thereright that bring awareness to it
.
There there are instagram pages, correct?

Speaker 1 (01:04:00):
absolutely.
I I wouldn't be able to tellyou like off the top of my head,
I know if you hashtag mmiw, mmip, it'll bring you know just a
slew of different eitherresources or profiles.
Okay, right.

Speaker 2 (01:04:19):
All right.
Well, the reason why I bringthat up is because awareness to
it and then they live it.
You brought awareness to it andI just feel like I'm going to

(01:04:41):
pay it forward and continue tobring awareness to it myself.
That's why I'm mentioning it,not beat a dead horse or try to
bring a political subject try totry, try to uh, you know bring
a political subject and itshouldn't even be political it's
not a political, it's a peopleyeah, yeah, but you know what I
mean.
it's just don't want to do that,but I I think I'll make a point

(01:05:05):
, since you're bringingawareness to hodgkin's lymphoma,
I I will do make sure I bringawareness to this every episode
from here on out, that.

Speaker 1 (01:05:17):
Absolutely that hashtag.

Speaker 2 (01:05:18):
Yeah, I'll make sure that just because it is a
problem.
I do see it.
You just don't hear anythingabout it, unless you are in that
system.

Speaker 1 (01:05:30):
Or the community.

Speaker 2 (01:05:31):
The community yes.

Speaker 1 (01:05:32):
Yeah, I definitely don't do as much as I should.
Um, I think that just the likeI've, you know I said, and then
you know me personally, just thelast few years I've really kind
of been into my own shit.
And I think one of the greatestways to pull yourself out of

(01:05:55):
that is to be of service tosomebody else, so really been
giving that a lot of thought.
I have a phenomenal therapist,so you know, shout out to Dr Ted
, he's been freaking amazing.
I was fortunate enough, lucky,fortunate to find him last

(01:06:24):
spring Because, yeah, I was inlike a super, super dark place
and I actually called thedistrict and reached out to this
earth.
I got you nothing.
Yeah, that's what it's therefor, though.
No, but it yeah nothing.
How many times?

Speaker 2 (01:06:42):
uh, did it take to get this one person though um
how many visits well, out thereyeah before you met this one
whatever.

Speaker 1 (01:06:49):
What happened was I reached out to whatever you,
whatever support system we hadthrough the district, and they
just, I don't know, lack ofinterest or follow through,
which to me is sad, because ifsomebody is getting to the point
where they're reaching out toyou, they're probably near in

(01:07:10):
the end of their rope.
So what happened was there wasa list of, like other therapists
and counselors and I was justgoing down the line going.
I'm like somebody and he reachedout to me and um, and at first
he was like I don't accept yourinsurance.

(01:07:31):
It will have to be full pay.
I don't care, I will do fullpay.

Speaker 2 (01:07:41):
I'm not trying to cut you off.
Before you said that I wasgoing to say it has to do with
the provider and the money.
It's always money and that'sthe number one reason why I
didn't want to be in thecommunity.
I wanted to just be at a placelike where I'm at now to provide
um, because the more you getinvolved in the community,
especially in this field thatI'm in, that you're searching

(01:08:03):
for it's ugly and it's all aboutmoney and insurance.
It's not you know, it's not, youknow money and it should be.
It should be not money.
It's mostly money and for thegood, but a lot of people are
not in it for the good, they'rein it just to make that, that

(01:08:25):
buck.
Anything outside of it theydon't care about.
And the more you're in thisfield, you realize that and it's
just, it's, it's crushing.
And so, yeah, before youmentioned the money, the pay and
everything else that I wasgoing to say it's, it's, it has
to do the money.
It's not, you know, thedistrict or anything else, it's,

(01:08:47):
it's the providers that's atfault.

Speaker 1 (01:08:51):
Yeah, and it was so funny, and he was booked out,
yeah, and I'm like I don't, I'lltake it.
I need anything, I'll take it.
And then he happened to likecall me back, he goes, I have an
opening next Monday and I'mlike I'll take it.
And it just so happened he wasworking into being able to I

(01:09:15):
don't know the exact lingoaccept my insurance and it
happened like the followingsession.
So everything just really likeworked out with that.
But yeah, I don't know why Istarted talking about that.

Speaker 2 (01:09:33):
I just you know, looking for help.

Speaker 1 (01:09:36):
Yeah and just yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:09:38):
If it comes up, just cut me off, alright.
Another thing, another thing Ilike the fact that you know we
work together and lately we'vebeen the supporter, like
sometimes I really feel likethese episodes they're not up to
par, up to snuff.
You know I just like okay, butyou've been on it, you've been

(01:10:00):
like I really like this and II'll ask you why and then you
tell me and you you share.
You know you're vulnerable withme, you you're honest and so
recently you you mentionedsomething about how you, you
know we have something in common.
You know your mom, my dad whengrowing up.

(01:10:21):
Why don't they ever inform ushow bad alcoholism could get?
Is that a subject that we cantouch on?

Speaker 1 (01:10:31):
oh, 100, 100, because that was that's was gonna be
like in one of my races.
That was one that I wanted tobring awareness.

Speaker 2 (01:10:41):
You know, addiction on any level, yeah, but what
affected us was the alcoholismyeah, why don't we get to the
nitty-gritty you know, like,let's say, health class when
we're in high school, juniorhigh, elementary?
You know we always had sex ed,right, and it was the darndest
thing.
I don't know, did you have sexed when you were and they showed

(01:11:04):
like pictures of like wartssomewhere?
You don't want them.
You know it was just like ascare tactic.
But why don't they do the scaretactic with alcohol?
With alcohol?
Why don't they do that, aswe're in the teacup studio with
all paraphernalia and everythingelse that didn't even cross my

(01:11:25):
mind.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:11:27):
I just, you know, when I'm in thought, I just have
a tendency to.
When I'm in thought, I justhave a tendency to, I do not
know why, maybe because it tiesin with mental health, and that
is just not just doesn't seem tobe important.

(01:11:50):
Because it really does seem tobe important, because it really
does alcoholism really does,because eventually, what that
you know is is a form of escapeand numbing due to someone's
like breakdown or you know oftheir mental or emotional state.

(01:12:11):
So, but I don't know how, towhat do you think?

Speaker 2 (01:12:18):
Well, I think if they really put it down to what we
experienced you know, I don'tknow how far, but you, you know,
being honest, saying you know,I did not know this we have more
in common.
It gets me to believe that wedo have similar stories on it.

(01:12:38):
But I feel if there's morepeople stating the truth later
down the road, how it can be andhow it could be, and how you
end up you know, and how familymembers can, what they go
through during it, I think itwould stop a lot of people dead
in their tracks.
Actually, I really do.

(01:13:00):
I feel, if they're reallyreally wanting to put the kibosh
on alcoholism, because I don'tknow what you saw, but I didn't
see my dad at that moment, whenhe was in his deathbed I saw a
guy that was in and out ofwittiness, wet brain and to the

(01:13:25):
point that his body was notshaped like it was when he ran
Boston Marathon.

Speaker 1 (01:13:35):
That's what floors me is when you talk about him like
you used to do races together.
And then when I found out howhe passed away, I was like how
do you, how do you get there?
Right From a young age, my mom,she would binge drink, so she

(01:13:59):
wasn't every day, okay, but whenshe did, she did it good and it
was ugly.
It was just belligerent extreme, just slurring, and just not.

(01:14:20):
She wasn't herself.
Well, yeah, and yeah, therewere times like we had strangers
.

Speaker 2 (01:14:31):
And you know, I don't want to speak poorly of my mom
because I've come to terms and Icome to a place where um and
this wasn't to speak poorly, no,absolutely, but like I'm trying
to just said that, like, ifwe're gonna be, like brutally
honest it was.

Speaker 1 (01:14:48):
it was ugly and it was heartbreaking Having
strangers in our home when myfather was away.
I won't go into detail aboutthat, but you know that's
heartbreaking Just being spoketo, and you know her not being

(01:15:10):
able to differentiate me and mysisters when I was several years
younger than them.
Gotcha Seeing our windshield inour car like shattered because
she drove into a ditch one night.
That was younger years, so shewent through a time where she

(01:15:31):
did uh become sober, yeah, whenwe were older and I think when
it got really bad again.
Um, she had met my stepfatherand he got lymphoma and uh was
super aggressive.
Um, and he, yeah, he passed,yeah, he passed away.

(01:15:54):
After he passed away, her heartwas broken and she dove full in
.
We're talking from morning tonight.
I was unaware because I— theyisolate themselves.
Oh yeah, so much so To the pointthat they make it believe in
their mind that we're the badpeople because we don't

(01:16:14):
understand absolutely and, um, I, I regret this, but it was a
form of like self-preservationthat I had to like cut off some
of the communication because itwas so, it was was so hurtful,
because it would just bring backso many memories of my

(01:16:36):
childhood.
And then I myself didn'tunderstand addiction.
You know, it wasn't.
I didn't understand.
It wasn't her choosing thealcohol over me, is she?
You know it comes to a point.
You know, with alcoholism theydon't have that, that freedom to
choose is gone.

Speaker 2 (01:16:57):
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's so bad that you know dadwas estranged for 15 years.
You know, never met Zoe, janeor Lillian.
He knew of them but never metthem.
Faith he met Faith when she wasone, when we got back from
Germany, and that was the lasttime I saw him myself before I

(01:17:21):
saw him on the deathbed.
And 15 years drinking I mean,he drank himself diabetic so I
guess he stopped drinking for abit.
But he was so wrapped up inthat mindset that he started
hoarding and and that rightthere was the ugliest, most

(01:17:43):
nastiest thing I've ever couldimagine.
They were true and we had, youknow, something like sex ed back
in school.
I think it would get some kindof change in people's thoughts

(01:18:03):
and habits in drinking.
Has it changed mine?
Yes, has cancer changed mythoughts of drinking?
Absolutely.
I had my first beer in like twoand a half months, well, since
December.
Just last week at theHofbrauhaus in Coeur d'Alene I
was like I had to get a Germanbeer.

Speaker 1 (01:18:30):
I'm sorry, just one beer had the schnitzel.
I love the Wiener schnitzel,yeah it's so good.

Speaker 2 (01:18:33):
Did they give you two patties?
So I was like, okay, well, didthe Oktoberfest?
Just one, it was good.
Did I enjoy it?
Yes, it's just too good, youknow German beer.
And so I was like, okay, youhad to get that experience.
And then yesterday I was goingto do karaoke, like I normally

(01:18:55):
do, and I just sat there and I'mlike thinking, thinking about
this episode, thinking aboutwhat we could talk about, and
then I had a beer which I loveIPAs but I haven't been doing it
because they're just too bigand filling.
So I had like a no lie, porchglow feeling.
So I had like a no lie, porchglow.

(01:19:15):
And I'm sitting there with mydiet coke as long with my beer,
because I always match it, youknow, with a diet coke or
mountain dew or a beer andwhatnot, but with the porch glow
it was just sitting there andI'm just drinking the diet coke,
listen to music.
Listening to music, because youknow they got that, um, that
one thing, that if you have anapp you can play the music and
they just put it on blast, andso they know I like that.

(01:19:36):
So they're very accommodating.
I love those people at thedugout here.
And so they asked me if Iwanted another one, and I'm just
like no, I'm good, I think I'mgoing to go home.
And I was just like I'm proudof myself.
But I'm like, was it a struggle?

(01:19:56):
Uh, to struggle to what notdrink another one?
yeah no, it's gotten to thepoint that I'm actually happy
that I'm able just to have one,or, like I did yesterday last
night, and be okay with it nowright on.
But during christmas break anddoing the treatments and

(01:20:19):
everything else you know, I wasthinking I want to drink.
I want to drink um, becausebefore I started the treatment I
was drinking pretty much dailyso was it?

Speaker 1 (01:20:31):
let me ask you this was it like that the flavor?
Was it just the the um, likethe action, the activity of
doing it?
Or did you crave it as a formof escapism?
Or as a form like numb thesituation?

Speaker 2 (01:20:50):
the numbs, the situation, and then, when I was
in the can you know, doing thetreatment, I was like, well, I
have to look at it a differentway.
So I'm like I don't want tobecause it's a you know, an
inflammatory.
So I was like, okay, well, Idon't want to mess up my
treatment, you know and I stillfeel like I don't want to mess
up my treatment.
So I think of you know thetreatment.

(01:21:13):
But then I'm all like, okay, ifI continue down this road, like
I did, you know, to numb thepain, uh, chances are I might
end up like my father.
You know to be real and I'mlike I don't want to be like my
father, I don't want to be ahoarder, I don't want to, you
know, lose my kids.
I don't want to be estranged, Iwant to be present, I want to

(01:21:34):
love life.
I don't want to be isolatingmyself and be a hermit to the
point that you can't getyourself out of it.
Yeah, and not the person that Ionce was.
When, you know, I first metTracy, or first met my kids, you

(01:21:56):
know, and my dad's been a hugepart of me trying to settle down
the drinking because I loved tobinge drink when I was in high
school and college.
I mean, I was always a drinker,drinker, binge drinker mostly,

(01:22:19):
um.
And then when I went graduatedcollege I went to go live closer
toward you know, with my dad toum for grad school, saw how he
drank.
I quit drinking because I justwas like back back then too, I
quit drinking.

Speaker 1 (01:22:28):
I quit because I didn't, I didn't, I don't want
to be part of that.

Speaker 2 (01:22:31):
I didn't want to do it, so he.
He found out that I don't liketo drink with him because it was
just horrible to watch, youknow, and so totally relate to
that.
And so, like because of what I,what I experienced when I was a
kid, I always told myself man, Ihave kids, I'm not going to let
them see me, you know like that.

(01:22:53):
And so when they told me I hadcancer, what it was and what to
expect, I found myself being notpresent with my kids and being
that person that I experiencedwhen I was a little kid and I

(01:23:17):
didn't want my kids to do it,and I told myself from day one
that I didn't want my kids towitness the things I did.
I still believe I haven'tallowed that, but I felt like I
was getting close and that'swhat has taken me from drinking
every day and going off to deepend like I could have last night

(01:23:42):
, if that makes sense.

Speaker 1 (01:23:45):
Yeah, 100%.
I don't know the short answerof how to bring that type of

(01:24:12):
awareness, because once somebodyis to that point, they almost
have to experience somethinglife-changing to change their
mindset right, especially whenthey're younger, because when
you're younger we can tell thosekids don't drink don't drink.
I mean even my kids.
They weren't perfect, you know.
I found things in there hiddenin their closets or whatever.
I don't think there's anythingI can I would be able to say or

(01:24:32):
do to tell them.
But, like I said, what therereally needs to be just a huge
shift in is how we view mentalhealth, because I think it all
boils down to that.

Speaker 2 (01:24:54):
Yeah, and I think COVID and that quarantine really
affected it, but it alsobrought mental health to light.
It's just whether or not fundsproviders are available, and
it's unfortunate they don't gohand in hand.
You know, it's always aboutmoney, unfortunately, and that's

(01:25:17):
one of the reasons why I'vestepped out and just enjoy where
I'm at now, because I don'thave to worry about that you're
like.
You know, when the kid wants tocome talk to you, they can come
talk to you and then they startunderstanding what I bring and
how I do it, and that's when theconversations arise and the
relationship it doesn't dwindle,the shapes and then gets bigger

(01:25:41):
, and not just with me, but withpeople around them teachers.
You believe it or not, steph,miss Steph, you know it's this.
Yeah, it's cool to be part ofthat and see it on a daily basis
and yeah just when having thatbeer last night, I was just like
I could have another one, but Iit's not good, so let's not so

(01:26:07):
right on yeah.
Yeah, feels good to say that,cause I tell you what I was in a
bad space when they left mehanging for two weeks and saying
I have cancer, but they're notgoing to tell me what that was
those two weeks, oh man.

Speaker 1 (01:26:24):
Now, when was that?

Speaker 2 (01:26:26):
I'm just kind of, it is a like when you talk about it
yeah, it happened fast.

Speaker 1 (01:26:32):
Like when was that?
When did you find it?
It happened fast.
When was that?
When did you find out?

Speaker 2 (01:26:36):
Between September and November, November, and then
that was the bad.
I felt like that was the worsttime of my life just because of
the uncertainty.
And then, from November toknowing when, from November like
Thanksgiving, it wasn't thatbad.

(01:26:59):
September, October was the worstpart worst time because I just
was like I found out finallyfound out, didn't know how to,
you know, take it, I had peoplecome and go in my life, you know
, and you really find yourfriends who do come around and
don't come around, and so withthat you're just like, ok, well,

(01:27:21):
it was just fake anyway.
So let me just continuedrinking and doing my thing,
putting work first, drinking,first, family.
Second, you know lifestyle, youknow just life in general.
Last you my therapy, where itwe followed it back.

Speaker 1 (01:27:59):
And it was that day, out on the track, like back then
.
I was a 3.8 student, I wantedto go to school, I wanted to go
to UW.
I wanted to either be a newsanchor or an attorney.
I got good grades.

Speaker 2 (01:28:19):
UW attorney.

Speaker 1 (01:28:20):
Yeah, I was a great athlete.
Only, you know, I didn't havejust being brought up in that
environment, not having thetools to overcome that, and I
just said fuck it.
And so that kind of was youknow something that followed me

(01:28:44):
around, like if things didn't go100% the way that I thought
they should go or wanted orwhatever, I was just like screw
it, want it or whatever.
It was just like screw it.
But so when you ask, like whenwe make this, come full circle,
like how I can complete amarathon or you know 50 mile or
whatever, on not a lot oftraining, it's because if I'm,

(01:29:09):
you know, that's something thatI'm going to finish, I'm going
to complete.
And I totally could hear youwhen you said you were going
through that.
And then you know some of thepeople that you thought were
going to be there, they weren't.
Yeah, that is tough.
That's toughest when you're ina steep dark place and those

(01:29:34):
core people are not nowhere tobe seen.
They're there when you're likethe good fun.

Speaker 2 (01:29:42):
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah, oh yeah, and that'swhy, you know, I feel that so
much.
That's why you know, there's adifference between how I treat
you, miss Steph Ray.
You know the other people youwork around.
Compared to people I run withor used to run with, you know

(01:30:04):
what I mean.
There's a huge difference.
I'm very thankful that you were.
You know you're in my life andyou were able to um share that
early in the morning when I'mgetting the breakfast cookie you
know it felt good that it wasjust like, well, I'm not alone,
I know I wasn't, but it was justfelt good that you know that

(01:30:28):
you reiterated that, thatthought and that you know and
was just there that moment.
I was just like I needed that.
So I appreciate you 100%feelings mutual yeah.
So I do.
I appreciate you.
That's why I always talk to youand make sure you know things

(01:30:50):
are good.
Um, I know you're.
You're going through your thing, but um, I you're.
I know you're one heck of aperson and a mom.
You got a three-star stud totake care of who's gonna go to
college soon.
Hopefully he found, he findsout where he's gonna go soon and

(01:31:10):
and dominate either track orfootball.

Speaker 1 (01:31:15):
Track yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:31:17):
One of these things that these kids around here need
to focus on, and they need tofocus on not always wanting to
go D1.

Speaker 1 (01:31:26):
Oh yes, it's D1 or bust.
And I tell you what these kids.

Speaker 2 (01:31:30):
They have so much talent that they can.
And I tell you what these kids?
They have so much talent thatthey can.
If only they knew what they canbring at a junior college level
to NAIA or Division 1 orDivision 2, 3, it would motivate
them to be the best person thatthey are.
But they always think D1, notreDame or or WSU or UW or Bust.

(01:31:55):
It's like no, try the smallerschools.

Speaker 1 (01:32:03):
They've got more opportunities and better
programs than the schools thatthey're always looking at.
Yeah, I don't know what thecards have in store for him, but
oh darn it, he's a great kid.

Speaker 2 (01:32:16):
You know, he's one of those.
They all are.
They just make poor choices.

Speaker 1 (01:32:19):
Oh yeah, we talk about it at work.
You know I'm not going to airthis during laundry.
But I love that kid and myolder kids come home.
It's, oh my God, it's so funny.
They're like what happened.

Speaker 2 (01:32:32):
What Did you?

Speaker 1 (01:32:33):
did you beat his ass?
And I'm like he's my preciousbaby boy.

Speaker 2 (01:32:37):
What are you talking about?
Why does he get away witheverything?
Yeah, we get it too.

Speaker 1 (01:32:41):
And there is this meme, or the real or meme or
whatever I think I saw onInstagram and it just shows,
like the older kids, like youknow, you feel bad for, you know
your older children or youroldest child who had to go with
the rough, tough, no-nonsenseversion of you, and then the
baby of the family gets thegentler healed version.

Speaker 2 (01:33:04):
Oh, yeah, yeah, that's that.
My oldest is getting the sametreatment.
My small, the younger one istoo the middle one, she does her
thing.
So yeah, they each have theirown little version yeah yeah,
yeah, it's cool, though.
It's cool to just sit back andsee it work, but it works.
You know, to each their own, Ibelieve it works.

Speaker 1 (01:33:26):
Oh, absolutely.

Speaker 2 (01:33:28):
Some people just get a little butthurt over the
leniency or the treatmentdifferences.

Speaker 1 (01:33:35):
They're like what you would have beat our butts for
that and I'm like.
I don't have it in me right now.
Like leave your baby brotheralone, Right?

Speaker 2 (01:33:47):
So, Tiffany, I really do appreciate this conversation
.
We've almost been going at itfor two hours, Absolutely.
Does it feel like almost twohours?
I think it's an hour and40-something minutes.
Did it feel like it or did itcome easy, less stressful than
you thought?

(01:34:07):
What?

Speaker 1 (01:34:11):
No, it was not stressful.

Speaker 2 (01:34:14):
I think I'm in good company, so yeah I appreciate
the topics, I appreciate youbringing light to.
You know the natives and andthat it's very unfortunate that
it's not brought up to light,like a lot of things in this
life, what we're dealing withthese days.

(01:34:35):
You know and definitely enjoytalking about not so much
addiction but that part of theaddiction, the alcoholism that
you know 21,.
It's legal but you know it's ahorrible disease.
It is, it's legal but it's ahorrible disease.

Speaker 1 (01:34:55):
It is.

Speaker 2 (01:34:56):
It's a horrible way to go out.
The more I think about it, themore it just makes me want to go
sober and talk more about it,just because it is ugly, most
atrocious way to go out.
First I thought murder is badlike.
First I thought like murder isbad.
Right, murder, killing somebodyis bad, but when you're killing

(01:35:16):
yourself and what it does toyou and the mind, the body, uh,
the behaviors it, it's a wildway to go out and witnessing
that firsthand.
I don't want my kids to see thatyou know, I don't want anybody
to witness what we witnessed,and yeah.

(01:35:40):
So, if I can bring that tolight as well, I'm glad I was
able to do that with you,because you made it comfortable
when you approached me, or whenI approached you and you stated
hey, we have more in common.
I just thought I'd use thisplatform and this episode to
talk about it.

Speaker 1 (01:35:59):
Absolutely, and I feel comfortable in it because
you know we're humans.
Life happens and you know it's.
I don't know, I don't know how,I don't know how I can't speak
for you, and it's something thathappened.
It is something that is part ofmy life.

Speaker 2 (01:36:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:36:21):
And.
Yeah, but it's just ugly, it'sjust ugly, though that's the
only word I can say.
It's ugly.
I was through the thick of itwhere we had my mom come stay
with us.
We had her during her full-oninto it and I didn't fully

(01:36:44):
understand alcoholism.
She was not allowed to drink inher home and she came up for
Jada's graduation and I saidyou're staying with me, but
there is absolutely no drinking.
I didn't know that could killher.
And she went a couple days andthen one day she's with us.

(01:37:04):
I swear to God, I thought shehad snuck some alcohol because
she was behaving like she wasdrunk.
But what it was.
Dry drunk withdrawing, behavinglike she was drunk.
But what it was that I drunkthe?
Um ammonia, because her liverwas not fully functioning.
Um the ammonia was building upin her body and poisoning her

(01:37:26):
brain so she was, I thought shewas drunk.
I thought she was drunk.
I thought she was three sheetsto beyond near stumbling drunk,
but she was being poisoned bythe ammonia level.
So when I took her to the ER Icouldn't even hardly stand to be

(01:37:47):
near her because she smelledlike pee.
All the ammonia coming out ofher skin.

Speaker 2 (01:37:53):
It's wild.
That's why, like I, I just wishthey informed us about that
more than like marijuana orcocaine or crack.
I mean, I'm not.
I'm laughing, but I'm notlaughing.
I just wish they had moreinformation because it's legal.

Speaker 1 (01:38:12):
You know what?
That's what it?

Speaker 2 (01:38:13):
but wow it's horrendous and it's disgusting
and and yeah, but I just wishthey had more on that and get
people prepared or let peopleknow instead of waiting until it
happens to them and they'relike holy shit right, literally,
because we had three bouts ofemergency rooms that led to her

(01:38:37):
being admitted in a three-monthperiod where she they couldn't
understand how she was stillalive because her ammonia levels
the first time were so high.

Speaker 1 (01:38:49):
They're like, they're lethal and they're like like
how is she still with us?
But it's crazy, while she'sdetoxing she would be out of
conscient consciousness and Iwould go into the hospital and
I'm like why is she laying in acrappy diaper?

Speaker 2 (01:39:09):
yeah why?

Speaker 1 (01:39:10):
and they're like we're trying to get and I'm like
get me yeah get me a diaper.
I'm full-on, like I.
I'm the one in the family, I'mlike, you know, to get get
things done.
I, I'm the the voice and I'mnot afraid to.
Well you know, I've told youlike I'm not a sugar coater and
I think that's why I tend tostay sometimes to myself,

(01:39:32):
because if my mouth doesn't sayit, my face will.

Speaker 2 (01:39:36):
I got you.

Speaker 1 (01:39:38):
Yeah, I was down there changing my mother's
diapers.

Speaker 2 (01:39:42):
And the more you talk about it, the more it's just, I
see it, I saw it, I totallyunderstand.
Yeah, it's ugly.
I just wish but I reallyappreciate you allowing me to
talk about this in our episode.
I wanted a special you know,250 to be special.

(01:40:03):
I'm glad I was able to get youon 250.
I wouldn't want anybody else on250.
So, um, you being a supporter, Ijust thought this is my way of,
uh, showing appreciation and,um, sharing stuff that you know,
you, you enjoy and putting youon blast because I, honestly,

(01:40:25):
when I found out that you, whatyou, you do, what you do and
you're good at it, and Imentioned that and you're like,
that's nothing you know, youknow, doubting yourself, I'm
like, you know, I just want youto sit down and talk and
understand how badass you are,and I think I did that, I
believe I did that and hopefullyI did it justice, and I want

(01:40:48):
people to understand that youknow minimal work, you still get
the same results, and I'munderstanding that the more I
interview daily runners, movers,so, and you are a runner, a
mover, and yeah, it'sunbelievable what the body can

(01:41:09):
do and you're a prime example ofthat.
So, tiffany, thank you for yourtime.
Would you like to add anything?
Would you like to um?
Did I forget anything?

Speaker 1 (01:41:22):
Oh man, you know what , when I'm comfortable, I could
talk forever, so don't open thatcan of worms, um, but no, thank
you for having me.
That is like.
I'm completely like flattered,um, of what you had to say.
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (01:41:38):
Well, you're a rock star and I appreciate you, uh um
, being on this platform with meto talk about the things that
aren't brought to light until itcomes once in a blue moon.
So thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:41:51):
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (01:41:52):
Thank you Till next time, Tiff.

Speaker 1 (01:41:54):
Let's see what's today.
Saturday, monday, all right.

Speaker 2 (01:41:58):
I'll see you no-transcript.

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