Relinking Wakefulness | Ep 56

Have you ever wondered what actually makes insomnia recovery possible?

In this episode, I talk about exactly that.

We explore one of the most hopeful principles of neuroplasticity — and why it’s the reason getting beyond insomnia isn't just possible… but inevitable when you understand how the brain works.

The human brain has the amazing capacity to change associations and shift links.

And truly, is there anything more miraculous than that?

In this episode, you’ll learn how:

• Your responses play a key role in rewiring the brain
• Insomnia isn’t a sign that something is broken, but a conditioned pattern rooted in hyperarousal
• Changing your brain’s association with wakefulness can be a turning point in recovery

I also share a personal story that illustrates how learned fear responses can shift, and why that same shift is completely possible for you, too.

Enjoy!

Mentioned Resources:

Ep 32: “Neurons that fire together, wire together.”

Connect with Beth:

 👉  Instagram 

Work with Beth:

👉   Learn About the Mind. Body. Sleep. Mentorship
👉   Start the Free Insomnia Course Here

Full Show Notes & Transcription HERE.

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About Beth Kendall MA, FNTP: 

For decades, Beth struggled with the relentless grip of insomnia. After finally understanding insomnia from a mind-body perspective, she changed her relationship with sleep, and completely recovered. Liberated from the constant worry of not sleeping, she’s on a mission to help others recover as well. Her transformative program Mind. Body. Sleep.® has been a beacon of light for hundreds of others seeking solace from sleepless nights.

© 2023 - 2025 Beth Kendall

DISCLAIMER: The podcasts available on this website have been produced for informational, educational and entertainment purposes only. The contents of this podcast do not constitute medical or professional advice. No person listening to and/or viewing any podcast from this website should act or refrain from acting on the basis of the content of a podcast without first seeking appropriate professional advice and/or counseling, nor shall the information be used as a substitute for professional advice and/or counseling. The Mind. Body. Sleep. Podcast expressly disclaims any and all liability relating to any actions taken or not taken based on any or all contents of this site as there are no assurances as to any particular outcome.

Mind. Body. Sleep.® with Beth Kendall is your trusted source for holistic insomnia recovery, blending neuroplasticity, nervous system health, and mind-body coaching to help you finally sleep again.

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:05):
Hello and welcome to Mind Body Sleep, the podcast for
anyone out there who wants tounderstand and recover from
insomnia using a holisticperspective.
I'm Beth Kendall, your host.
Let's get started.
Hello, everyone.
It is so good to be with you onthe podcast today.

(00:26):
This is gonna be a juicyepisode, I think.
So I'm glad you're here with me.
My name is Beth.
I'm a sleep coach for peoplewith insomnia, and I help you
understand what's going on inyour mind and body so you can
get back to living the life thatyou love free from the fear of

(00:48):
not sleeping.
Today we're going to talk aboutwhat it means to relink
wakefulness and how changingyour brain's association with
being awake at night is one ofthe most integral keys to
lasting recovery from insomnia.

(01:10):
This was an understanding I hadwhen I was going through my own
recovery process.
So I hope that something that Ishare here will be helpful for
you too.
Someone asked me recently on agroup call how I see the role of
neuroplasticity factoring intothe recovery path.

(01:33):
And I thought this was such agreat question because the truth
is neuroplasticity is the basisfor why we can recover at all.
And neuroplasticity is simplythe brain's ability to change.
It's a big word for a beautifulprocess that allows us to

(01:57):
unlearn previous patterns ofassociation.
So let's just talk aboutassociations and how they factor
into today's conversation.
All learning happens throughassociation.
The brain links certainexperiences together through our

(02:22):
senses.
So sight, sound, smell, taste,and touch.
It's kind of like how the smellof cookies might remind you of
your grandma's house or how acertain song takes you back to a
moment in time.
In much the same way, your braincan link being awake at night

(02:49):
with danger or stress, even ifnothing threatening is actually
happening.
That's just how our brains work.
It connects one thing to anotherto help us make sense of the
world, even when those linksdon't particularly serve us
anymore.
And I go deeper into thisconcept in a previous episode

(03:11):
called Neurons That FireTogether, Wire Together.
And I think it's episode number32, but I'll link that up in the
show notes for you.
Now, my first understanding andlived experience of this concept
was after reading Annie Hopper'sbook, Wired for Healing, which

(03:33):
was one of my firstintroductions into the whole
mind-body world.
But the premise of Annie's bookcenters on the idea that many
chronic conditions of which Iconsider insomnia to be one are
driven by maladaptiveplasticity, meaning the brain

(03:56):
can become hyper-vigilant andget stuck in a survival loop by
interpreting certain events as athreat, even when they're not.
Now, I don't really agree withthe term maladaptive because I
believe the brain and bodyalways has a good reason for
doing what it's doing.

(04:17):
But essentially, we go throughsomething difficult, like a
period of sleep disruption, orwe experience an association to
sleep that triggers a protectiveresponse called hyper-arousal.
And this response feels so realand like you truly have somehow

(04:39):
broken your own brain that webelieve we have lost our ability
to sleep.
But you haven't lost yourability to sleep, you've just
developed some conditionedarousal that's getting in the
way of that natural processhappening.
So one of the most mind-blowingways I personally experienced

(05:04):
the phenomenon that I callrelinking was through some
pretty intense chemicalsensitivities I developed during
chronic illness.
And I've always been moresensitive to chemicals and
fragrances than the averageperson.
But when I was going throughchronic Lyme disease, my brain

(05:24):
felt like it was on fire.
Even the faintest smell ofsomething, you know, a dryer
vent like a block away, candleswere the absolute worst, or even
Wi-Fi would send my body into afull inflammatory response.
My face would get all blotchy,my eyes would water, I couldn't

(05:45):
breathe, and sometimes Iliterally thought I was gonna
pass out.
And it made no logical sense.
I mean, how could a dryer sheeta block away take me down to
such a level?
Yet here my body was reactinglike I was in extreme danger.

(06:06):
And the even weirder part wasthat sometimes the reaction
would happen before I evenencountered a chemical.
So it was just the anticipationof it that would send my system
into a panic, which was anotherhuge clue to me that something

(06:27):
was up.
But after reading Annie's book,I started to understand that my
brain had labeled these thingsas threats.
And without even realizing it, Iwas constantly reinforcing that
threat through the way I lived.
So all of the Facebook groups Iwas in, the constant monitoring
and avoidance of all thingschemicals, the hours I spent

(06:50):
worrying about it andresearching it.
I had unintentionally trained mybrain to see the world as
dangerous.
So the survival loop just gotstronger.
But here is the good news, myfriends.
Because of neuroplasticity, wecan unlearn those patterns.

(07:14):
We can create new links.
And thank God for that.
Because that's basically what Idid.
I started to gently introducenew ways of being with the
things my brain had labeled asdangerous.

(07:34):
And then one day, and I'll neverforget this because it was such
a big moment.
I walked into a public restroom.
And this restroom had a candleburning in it.
So I sort of raced for areaction to come.

(07:54):
But it never came.
Nothing happened.
And not only did nothing happen,but the candle smelled good to
me, which hadn't happened inyears.
So I, you know, I stood there,like, what is even happening?
And I know this probably soundslike a really small thing, but
if you've ever dealt withchemical sensitivities, then you

(08:16):
know what a big deal it is.
And that day gave me all theevidence I needed to know that
change was possible.
And after that, I startedsmelling everything I could.
And sometimes I had a reactionand sometimes I didn't, but I
was no longer so deathly afraidof chemicals.

(08:38):
And now I can walk down a targetdetergent aisle with zero
response.
And I never take that forgranted because walking down the
target detergent aisle was kindof like my graduation day from
chemical sensitivities.
So life is good.

(08:58):
But the whole reason I sharedthis story is that sometimes it
can be helpful to hear aboutsituations that aren't
necessarily insomnia, butclearly have some parallels to
insomnia.
And as a coach, these are theexperiences that I'm working
from.
So there was never actuallyanything wrong with my body's

(09:23):
resiliency to handle a dryersheet a block away.
It was that my limbic system hadbecome so sensitized to all
these things that it wascreating a danger response in my
body.
And I do want to definitelyemphasize that everything I was

(09:44):
feeling physically was real.
Everything you're going throughwith hyper-arousal and the
effects of not sleeping is real.
But the threat that the mind isoperating from is not.
Okay, so back to relinkingwakefulness, because that's what

(10:07):
this episode is about.
What do I mean by relinkingwakefulness?
Well, there are lots of waysthis concept has already been
introduced into the world.
And the first time I heard itwas with Claire Weeks, her
phrase of welcoming theunwelcome.

(10:27):
In my program, I use DanielErickson's term befriending
wakefulness.
But neither of these really getsunder the hood of why we would
want to do such a thing.
And I am a why person throughand through.
I like to get to the granular ofwhy as much as I possibly can,

(10:48):
because when something makessense to me, I'm much more
inclined to do it.
And once I understand the why,I'm pretty good at letting go of
the why.
So why would we want to befriendwakefulness or welcome the
unwelcome?
Because let's just be honest,this can feel like a pretty big

(11:11):
ask when you're going throughsuch a hard thing.
Well, we're taking oldassociations and creating new
associations.
We're taking a link of dangerand creating a link of safety.
We're basically creating a newexperience around something the

(11:33):
mind perceives as dangerous.
So it can let go ofhyper-arousal.
It really is that simple.
If my brain could relink theresponse I had to chemicals, I
knew it could do the same thingwith the amplified fear I felt
about not sleeping orexperiencing something that

(11:56):
could potentially disrupt mysleep.
Those felt like much biggerthreats in my past life than
they do now.
So the loop can change.
In fact, I would say that it hasno choice but to change when you
start interacting with itdifferently.

(12:18):
Let me throw out a simplifiedexample of this so you have
something to go on.
Let's just say that your currentsituation is that you're waking
up at 3 a.m.
and then not falling back tosleep, which is a pretty common
scenario.
So if you wake up at 3 a.m.
and immediately startcatastrophizing, worrying about

(12:41):
what it means, how you're gonnamake it through the next day,
maybe even going for Dr.
Google or trying everythingimaginable to prevent it from
ever happening again, your brainis likely going to tag this as a
pretty not good thing, right?

(13:16):
Then your brain starts to learnthat, okay, you know, this isn't
a threat.
And that's the differencebetween reinforcing a fear loop
and gently starting to unwind itand how our responses play a
role.
So I hope the concept ofrelinking makes sense because

(13:37):
it's one of the most powerfultools we have.
And I hope you see the hopebehind neuroplasticity because
it's what makes true recoveryfrom insomnia possible.
Many species can adapt andchange their brains in response
to experience, but only onespecies can consciously direct

(14:01):
that change.
And that's us, the humans.
We're the only beings on theplanet who can shape, sculpt,
and self-direct the circuitry ofour own brain, which I find
extraordinary.
Thanks for listening to the MindBody Sleep Podcast.
I'm Beth Kendall.
I'll see you next time.

(14:25):
Thanks for being here today.
If you love what you heard ontoday's episode, don't forget to
hit the like button andsubscribe to the podcast.
And if you need more supportwith your sleep, join me in the
Mind Body Sleep Mentorship.
This three month one on oneprogram will transform your
relationship with sleep so youcan get back to living the life
that you love free from the fearof not sleeping.

(14:46):
Head on over to bethkendle.comfor more details.
I'll see you next time.