December 4, 2022 • 20 mins
Your Host: Shyra DeJuan (ShyTheHealer)
Healing from unhealthy boundaries, shift your mindset using the power of peace by setting healthy boundaries.
If you’re like me and you struggle with setting boundaries with people you love, share this podcast and listen together or start the conversation as a question… “What's your view on healthy boundaries?”
There is always a stage of healing that hurts. When you set a boundary with someone extremely close to you, it will be painful for as long as they fight against the boundary being set. They may stop talking to you for a while, the relationship may shift. But if this person genuinely values having you in their life, they will respect the boundary and embrace the new healthier relationship. You must grow! No more enabling, no more guilt remorse, no more resentment from giving in to the boundary violations!
In this episode you will elevate your mind and be open to understanding boundary violations, setting boundaries and healing from the aftermath of setting those boundaries. We are champions! We heal together! We win together!
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Quotes from the book by Bestselling Author and Relationship Therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab- "Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A guide to reclaiming yourself"
Click link below to purchase!
https://amzn.to/3IJQHRO
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Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:04):
All smiles champions.
Welcome to mine.
Elevation health and wealth.
My name is Dhawan.
I'm an emotional healer,educator and entrepreneur.
Each week, we will dig deep intoemotionally healing, all aspects
of your life to increase yourability to create prosperity
mind, elevation health andwealth allows you to elevate and
(00:26):
shift into a growth mindset.
Share each moment with me, I'mgiving you permission to fulfill
all of the unique desires ofyour heart judgment free
shame-free guilt-free elementsto heal your mind and body as
you listen and consume the wordsof the session with no fear.
Fear of loss champions if weheal together we'll be real
(00:47):
together Embrace unconditionallove and keep listening healing
is health health is wealth youare here on purpose Session to
healing from unhealthyboundaries.
Listen and listen well,champions, whether you get peace
(01:10):
from God, peace from theuniverse or peace within itself.
Lacking in setting healthyboundaries, disturbs your peace.
Some of you may not even know.
You have a close relationshipwith someone you love and they
constantly overstep or violateyour boundaries, but because
it's always been normal to you,you've allowed these boundaries
(01:33):
to be crossed.
Even when you secretly getupset.
You shamefully hold resentmentor seek advice from everyone
else to verify if your feelingsare valid.
For example.
(01:54):
An extremely close family memberviolates.
You physically dictates yourfriendships, monopolizes your
time and makes you feel guilty.
If you don't agree with theirviews on a topic, but since this
person holds a top role in yourlife.
You will allow them to keepviolating you, sacrificing your
time, energy feelings and mentalhealth.
(02:16):
If you're wondering how healingfrom unhealthy boundaries
creates wealth.
Remember that we are healingfrom negative generational
behaviors.
You will have the power to mendbroken relationship with your
family members.
You will have the power to givebirth parent and raise
emotionally healthy children.
You are embracing the power toheal your future grandchildren,
(02:41):
preventing them from toxicity,trauma, and unhealthy
relationships.
Most prison inmates chose a lifeof crime because they have
untreated.
Mental health issues orunhealthy relationships with
loved ones, absent mothers.
Absent fathers feelingmisunderstood and unheard.
(03:02):
At some point, their boundariesmay have been violated by
someone they loved and theyprojected by negative behavior,
not knowing how to properly healand cope.
If we are wanting to creategenerational health and wealth
for our future, the healingstarts with us.
We must teach and startpracticing new, healthy
(03:25):
generational behaviors, mindelevation, and mindset shifts
for our future children for ourfuture grandchildren, so that we
can create generational wealth.
And keep it.
I'm going to quickly discussfour major common boundary
(03:46):
violations.
Boundary violation.
Number one.
Emotional boundaries.
Don't allow others to dismiss orcriticize your feelings.
If you tell someone they hurtyour feelings and the response
is I hurt your feelings.
You just being too sensitive.
They've violated your emotionalboundary.
(04:07):
Your feelings and emotions arevalid and you must remind them
of this.
Don't allow others toemotionally dump their drama and
problems on you without yourpermission.
You can politely say, Hey, I'msorry, you're going through a
lot, but you may want to shareyour problems with someone
that's trained to help youprocess your emotions.
(04:27):
I'm not able to help you withthat at this time.
Don't allow others to shameguilt, blame, or make demands of
you.
No one has the right to make youfeel ashamed or guilty for not
doing something you don't feelcomfortable doing.
Not even your toxic parents.
Okay.
(04:47):
Boundary violation.
Number two.
Mental boundaries.
Don't allow others to be little,your thoughts, ideas.
Or communicate disrespectful toyou.
Your thoughts and ideas are justas creative as anyone else's
mentally allowing someone elseto dictate your life goals and
(05:08):
your aspirations.
If you know what your life goalsare, don't change your
aspirations because someonemakes the comment.
Well, that don't make sense.
You should do this.
Don't give people unsolicitedadvice.
If your close friend is sharingtheir relationship issues and
they just want you to listen.
I don't give them unsolicitedadvice.
(05:30):
Listen.
After they finish ask them, doyou want my advice or do you
just want someone to listen toyou?
Boundary violation.
Number three.
Physical boundaries.
Don't allow others toinappropriately touch you and
don't allow unwanted touch.
If you're not a hugger politelysay.
(05:53):
I'm more comfortable with fistbumps.
I'm not a hugger.
Don't allow others to borrowyour physical possessions
without asking.
Don't allow people to use moneyto manipulate and control.
You don't allow others to alwaysregularly make you late to
events.
Show up late.
(06:14):
Or cancel on you last minute.
These are all violations of yourphysical energy and time.
Boundary violation.
Number four.
Spiritual boundaries.
Do what you think is morallyright?
Trust your own spirituality andethics.
Don't allow others to forcetheir views on you.
(06:36):
Everyone's ethics and morals arenot aligned.
Be careful.
Don't go against your ownpersonal values to please
someone else, especially whenyou're trying to find love.
Don't change your beliefsbecause you want to fall for
someone that has differentbeliefs, don't allow others to
force unsolicited, conspiracytheory, materials, violent
(06:58):
videos, inappropriate content,or sad news articles.
Learn how to protect your energyand your spiritual beliefs.
Hey, you.
Champion for life changes.
Be open to set healthyboundaries in new romantic
relationships by expressing yourvalues and expectations upfront
(07:21):
with your partner or during afirst date.
If you don't know what youvalue, you are not ready for a
relationship.
Oops.
Don't get mad at me, but I'mgoing to repeat this.
If you don't know your values oryour worth.
You are not ready for a romanticrelationship.
(07:45):
This should be part of yourself.
Love journey.
I hope you out just a little,but I'll be sharing details
about understanding values andself-worth and romantic
relationships in a differentepisode.
So stay tuned every Sunday.
Here are some quick tips to getyou started.
Before starting and settingboundaries in a romantic
(08:07):
relationship.
No.
Your financial values, yourintellectual values, your
physical values, your emotionalvalues and your special values.
Also know how to embrace andsteer your love language.
Start there.
On that first, before going intorelationship.
Okay.
Be open to set healthyboundaries with your parents.
(08:30):
The power of parents.
Oh boy.
Do we have the ability tomanipulate and guilt trip?
Our young children and our adultchildren.
Parents have the right toviolate boundaries.
Wrong.
This is what toxic parentssounds like.
(08:51):
Because I'm your mama becauseI'm your daddy.
That power or the popular,because I said so, or if you
don't do it, don't ask me foranything else.
Or.
I have taken care of you yourwhole life and you act like you
can't do nothing for me.
(09:12):
If you're not a parent.
You've probably use the, becauseI'm your big sister, big
brother.
I'm your cousin.
I'm your favorite auntie?
I'm your best friend power.
These are all forms of abuse ofpower and violating boundaries.
(09:34):
Those of you that are thinkingain't no way I can set a
boundary with my mama, my daddy,my siblings, or my family
members.
Trust me.
I used to have the same fear,but when you elevate your mind,
you no longer operate in fear.
You operate in healing mode anda growth mindset.
(09:56):
So it is very possible.
Setting healthy boundaries maysound like this.
This is what it sounds like.
I respect that you disagree withmy opinion.
But please don't force youropinion on me.
Or.
I don't find comments like that.
Funny.
(10:17):
Or.
I'm not comfortable withdiscussing that.
Please don't discuss that topicwith me.
Or I can no longer allow you touse what I did in the past
against me now.
Or.
I appreciate all that you haveand will do for me, but I can't
(10:38):
allow you to use that tomanipulate me.
Or.
I will end this phone call.
If you continue to yell at me.
Or.
Thank you for the offer.
Unfortunately, I can't make itto your event.
Or.
I don't respond to work messagesafter 6:00 PM or on the
(11:02):
weekends.
Or.
I'm not comfortable with that.
If you do it again.
I will leave.
Or.
I'm now old enough to make myown decisions.
Please respect my wishes.
Or.
Please don't yell when wedisagree.
(11:23):
Can we talk through this in acalm manner or let's take a
break and finish when we bothcall down.
Okay.
That's what healthy boundariessound like after you set the
boundary, stick to it and beconsistent.
Don't let them fall back and getyou back into where you were.
(11:43):
Stay consistent.
Be serious about the boundarythat you've set.
Let's address the growing pains.
Okay.
When you grow a force, respectand change in your current
unhealthy relationships, therewill be paying one of the most
self-supporting things we can doin this life is embrace the
(12:05):
growing pains.
Trust me, when I say this willbecome a beneficial skill.
Remaining calm and faithfulduring painful life experiences.
Grow through what you go throughchampions.
Grow through what you go throughchampions.
(12:25):
That means embrace the pain.
Yes.
There are things we are afraidto do because we're operating in
fear.
You have to understand once youget through the pain, it all
gets better.
There's always that stage ofhealing that hurts when you set
a boundary with someoneextremely close to you, it will
(12:45):
be painful for as long as theyfight against the boundary being
set.
They may stop talking to you forawhile.
The relationship may shift forawhile, but if the person
genuinely values having you intheir life, they will respect
the boundary and embrace the newhealthier relationship.
(13:07):
You must grow no more enabling,no more guilt.
Remote Morse, no more resentmentfrom giving into the boundary
violators.
It's kind of like the beauty,Hertz type thingy, like setting
the boundary with your loved onewill hurt.
But after the boundaries are setand both parties are respecting
(13:29):
them, the relationship will bebeautiful, healthy, and will
flourish for years.
Young men.
It's okay to admit that yourmother has used her power over
you.
Young women.
It's okay to admit that yourfather has used his power over
you.
Significant others.
It's okay to admit you haveallowed your lover to use their
(13:50):
power over you.
Everyone it's okay to admit andaccept that the people that are
supposed to love you the mostmay be the number one cause of
your trauma and emotionalstress.
They also are the ones that mostlikely violate your boundaries.
Let's be real together so we canheal together.
(14:14):
Dear boundary violators.
I'm not trying to take away yourpower.
I'm just trying to show you thatabusing your power is causing
unhealthy relationships withyour child, your children, your
family members, your coworkers,your business partners, your
husband, your wife, yourboyfriend, your girlfriend, your
lover your life partner bemindful.
(14:37):
Of healthy boundaries in allaspects of your life.
If you're like me and youstruggle with setting boundaries
with people you love.
Share this podcast and listentogether and start the
conversation as a question.
Hey.
What's your view on healthyboundaries?
Recently at my Tinder older age.
(14:59):
I've missed setting, healthyboundaries in my life and I'm
reaping the benefits of it.
So please, don't be afraid tojoin me.
Setting a boundary if donecorrectly will not separate you,
but it'll actually bring yourrelationship closer.
If you don't trust me, maybeyou'll trust a licensed
therapist and relationshipexpert.
(15:21):
The author nidra Glover to Wobbein her book, set boundaries,
find peace.
She writes these words of truth.
People don't come to therapy,knowing they have boundary
issues.
When they walk in the door,boundary issues are disguised as
issues with self care conflictswith other people trouble with
(15:42):
time management or concernsabout how social media impacts
their emotional state.
Once they finished their talesof resentment on happiness,
feeling overwhelmed andcodependency.
I say to them gently.
You have an issue withboundaries with that?
We began to work on uncoveringboundary violations, learning to
communicate boundaries to othersand dealing with the aftermath
(16:05):
of setting boundaries.
Yes, there's aftermath.
When dealing with the discomfortand guilt that come from
asserting yourself.
I just read the introduction ofnature.
Gover knee-jerk Glover to WAPsbook, set boundaries, find
peace, go get your copy.
It's a life-changing book.
You are now a champion forhealing and change for quick
(16:29):
recaps of clarification andunderstanding.
Listen and listen.
Well, champions recap one.
No one, understand what boundaryviolations look like and sound
like, be prepared to set yourrespectable boundaries.
With starting new relationshipsand with your loved ones, your
(16:49):
emotions and feelings are valid.
Your mental stability should beprotected.
Your personal space and privacyshould not be invaded.
Your spiritual, ethical andmoral beliefs are yours.
Be open to grow, but don't allowothers to pressure you into a
behavior or belief you are notcomfortable with.
You also don't have to discusstopics.
(17:12):
You don't feel comfortablediscussing.
Recap to acknowledge that youmay have violated someone's
boundary at some point in yourlife by abusing your power.
As a mother, father, child, bestfriend, significant other
supervisor, business partner, orfamily member reflect over a
boundary.
You may have unknowinglycrossed.
(17:32):
And work on ways to preventviolating the boundary in the
future.
You can even start byapologizing for violating a
boundary with someone you loveand start the process of
respecting each other'sboundaries going forward.
Recap three.
Except the pain that comes withsetting boundaries with the
people you love, you haveallowed it to happen for so long
(17:56):
that you're afraid to address itand start the process.
We discussed what healthyboundary sound like now,
practicing the phrase out loud.
Let go of the fear of settingthe boundary and prepare to
embrace the pain from theaftermath of setting the
boundary, understanding thatwhen both parties are in
agreement of respecting theboundary, the relationships will
(18:20):
flourish grow closer andhealthier than before.
It's a beautiful feeling champs.
Recap for shift your mindset toa place of peace, respect, and
emotional stability setting.
Healthy boundary means lettinggo of the trauma bonds that were
created from the unhealthyboundaries.
(18:42):
You can let go of feelingoverwhelmed, the resentment,
guilt, and the unhappinessrelease, the discomfort and your
personal and work life.
Step into a mindset of freedom,joy, and peace.
It is so worth it.
All right in closing.
Elevate your mind.
(19:03):
Be open to health and wealth.
Trust the healing process,sometimes healing hurts, but
when completely healed youbecome a stronger.
Wiser and amazing human.
That was heavy.
Let's relax and breathe.
Breathe in love.
(19:24):
Breathe out.
Love.
Breathe in peace.
Breathe out peace.
Breathe in love.
Share love.
(19:46):
Now, share this podcast to helpsomeone you love heal from
Unhealthy boundaries.
we are champions.
We win together.
Let's continue to connect.
I've done all the talking, butdon't forget.
I'm also a great listener.
So after listening to thissession, you can release,
respond, reflect, or open up andacknowledge your struggles.
(20:09):
Let's start the healing processtogether.
Record your voice.
Or record a video and D M at tomy Instagram at shy, the healer
that's shy.
S H Y T H E healer, H E a L E R.
All one word.
I will try to respond to allvoice recordings and videos
(20:30):
only, but if you want to writesomething.
Write a review our comment andshare this podcast.
Champions you can support byclicking my donate and support
link in my podcast notes.
Until then see you next.
Self-care Sunday.
All smiles champions.
Welcome to mine.
Elevation health and wealth.
My name is Dhawan.
I'm an emotional healer,educator and entrepreneur.
Each week, we will dig deep intoemotionally healing, all aspects
of your life to increase yourability to create prosperity
mind, elevation health andwealth allows you to elevate and
(00:26):
shift into a growth mindset.
Share each moment with me, I'mgiving you permission to fulfill
all of the unique desires ofyour heart judgment free
shame-free guilt-free elementsto heal your mind and body as
you listen and consume the wordsof the session with no fear.
Fear of loss champions if weheal together we'll be real
(00:47):
together Embrace unconditionallove and keep listening healing
is health health is wealth youare here on purpose Session to
healing from unhealthyboundaries.
Listen and listen well,champions, whether you get peace
(01:10):
from God, peace from theuniverse or peace within itself.
Lacking in setting healthyboundaries, disturbs your peace.
Some of you may not even know.
You have a close relationshipwith someone you love and they
constantly overstep or violateyour boundaries, but because
it's always been normal to you,you've allowed these boundaries
(01:33):
to be crossed.
Even when you secretly getupset.
You shamefully hold resentmentor seek advice from everyone
else to verify if your feelingsare valid.
For example.
(01:54):
An extremely close family memberviolates.
You physically dictates yourfriendships, monopolizes your
time and makes you feel guilty.
If you don't agree with theirviews on a topic, but since this
person holds a top role in yourlife.
You will allow them to keepviolating you, sacrificing your
time, energy feelings and mentalhealth.
(02:16):
If you're wondering how healingfrom unhealthy boundaries
creates wealth.
Remember that we are healingfrom negative generational
behaviors.
You will have the power to mendbroken relationship with your
family members.
You will have the power to givebirth parent and raise
emotionally healthy children.
You are embracing the power toheal your future grandchildren,
(02:41):
preventing them from toxicity,trauma, and unhealthy
relationships.
Most prison inmates chose a lifeof crime because they have
untreated.
Mental health issues orunhealthy relationships with
loved ones, absent mothers.
Absent fathers feelingmisunderstood and unheard.
(03:02):
At some point, their boundariesmay have been violated by
someone they loved and theyprojected by negative behavior,
not knowing how to properly healand cope.
If we are wanting to creategenerational health and wealth
for our future, the healingstarts with us.
We must teach and startpracticing new, healthy
(03:25):
generational behaviors, mindelevation, and mindset shifts
for our future children for ourfuture grandchildren, so that we
can create generational wealth.
And keep it.
I'm going to quickly discussfour major common boundary
(03:46):
violations.
Boundary violation.
Number one.
Emotional boundaries.
Don't allow others to dismiss orcriticize your feelings.
If you tell someone they hurtyour feelings and the response
is I hurt your feelings.
You just being too sensitive.
They've violated your emotionalboundary.
(04:07):
Your feelings and emotions arevalid and you must remind them
of this.
Don't allow others toemotionally dump their drama and
problems on you without yourpermission.
You can politely say, Hey, I'msorry, you're going through a
lot, but you may want to shareyour problems with someone
that's trained to help youprocess your emotions.
(04:27):
I'm not able to help you withthat at this time.
Don't allow others to shameguilt, blame, or make demands of
you.
No one has the right to make youfeel ashamed or guilty for not
doing something you don't feelcomfortable doing.
Not even your toxic parents.
Okay.
(04:47):
Boundary violation.
Number two.
Mental boundaries.
Don't allow others to be little,your thoughts, ideas.
Or communicate disrespectful toyou.
Your thoughts and ideas are justas creative as anyone else's
mentally allowing someone elseto dictate your life goals and
(05:08):
your aspirations.
If you know what your life goalsare, don't change your
aspirations because someonemakes the comment.
Well, that don't make sense.
You should do this.
Don't give people unsolicitedadvice.
If your close friend is sharingtheir relationship issues and
they just want you to listen.
I don't give them unsolicitedadvice.
(05:30):
Listen.
After they finish ask them, doyou want my advice or do you
just want someone to listen toyou?
Boundary violation.
Number three.
Physical boundaries.
Don't allow others toinappropriately touch you and
don't allow unwanted touch.
If you're not a hugger politelysay.
(05:53):
I'm more comfortable with fistbumps.
I'm not a hugger.
Don't allow others to borrowyour physical possessions
without asking.
Don't allow people to use moneyto manipulate and control.
You don't allow others to alwaysregularly make you late to
events.
Show up late.
(06:14):
Or cancel on you last minute.
These are all violations of yourphysical energy and time.
Boundary violation.
Number four.
Spiritual boundaries.
Do what you think is morallyright?
Trust your own spirituality andethics.
Don't allow others to forcetheir views on you.
(06:36):
Everyone's ethics and morals arenot aligned.
Be careful.
Don't go against your ownpersonal values to please
someone else, especially whenyou're trying to find love.
Don't change your beliefsbecause you want to fall for
someone that has differentbeliefs, don't allow others to
force unsolicited, conspiracytheory, materials, violent
(06:58):
videos, inappropriate content,or sad news articles.
Learn how to protect your energyand your spiritual beliefs.
Hey, you.
Champion for life changes.
Be open to set healthyboundaries in new romantic
relationships by expressing yourvalues and expectations upfront
(07:21):
with your partner or during afirst date.
If you don't know what youvalue, you are not ready for a
relationship.
Oops.
Don't get mad at me, but I'mgoing to repeat this.
If you don't know your values oryour worth.
You are not ready for a romanticrelationship.
(07:45):
This should be part of yourself.
Love journey.
I hope you out just a little,but I'll be sharing details
about understanding values andself-worth and romantic
relationships in a differentepisode.
So stay tuned every Sunday.
Here are some quick tips to getyou started.
Before starting and settingboundaries in a romantic
(08:07):
relationship.
No.
Your financial values, yourintellectual values, your
physical values, your emotionalvalues and your special values.
Also know how to embrace andsteer your love language.
Start there.
On that first, before going intorelationship.
Okay.
Be open to set healthyboundaries with your parents.
(08:30):
The power of parents.
Oh boy.
Do we have the ability tomanipulate and guilt trip?
Our young children and our adultchildren.
Parents have the right toviolate boundaries.
Wrong.
This is what toxic parentssounds like.
(08:51):
Because I'm your mama becauseI'm your daddy.
That power or the popular,because I said so, or if you
don't do it, don't ask me foranything else.
Or.
I have taken care of you yourwhole life and you act like you
can't do nothing for me.
(09:12):
If you're not a parent.
You've probably use the, becauseI'm your big sister, big
brother.
I'm your cousin.
I'm your favorite auntie?
I'm your best friend power.
These are all forms of abuse ofpower and violating boundaries.
(09:34):
Those of you that are thinkingain't no way I can set a
boundary with my mama, my daddy,my siblings, or my family
members.
Trust me.
I used to have the same fear,but when you elevate your mind,
you no longer operate in fear.
You operate in healing mode anda growth mindset.
(09:56):
So it is very possible.
Setting healthy boundaries maysound like this.
This is what it sounds like.
I respect that you disagree withmy opinion.
But please don't force youropinion on me.
Or.
I don't find comments like that.
Funny.
(10:17):
Or.
I'm not comfortable withdiscussing that.
Please don't discuss that topicwith me.
Or I can no longer allow you touse what I did in the past
against me now.
Or.
I appreciate all that you haveand will do for me, but I can't
(10:38):
allow you to use that tomanipulate me.
Or.
I will end this phone call.
If you continue to yell at me.
Or.
Thank you for the offer.
Unfortunately, I can't make itto your event.
Or.
I don't respond to work messagesafter 6:00 PM or on the
(11:02):
weekends.
Or.
I'm not comfortable with that.
If you do it again.
I will leave.
Or.
I'm now old enough to make myown decisions.
Please respect my wishes.
Or.
Please don't yell when wedisagree.
(11:23):
Can we talk through this in acalm manner or let's take a
break and finish when we bothcall down.
Okay.
That's what healthy boundariessound like after you set the
boundary, stick to it and beconsistent.
Don't let them fall back and getyou back into where you were.
(11:43):
Stay consistent.
Be serious about the boundarythat you've set.
Let's address the growing pains.
Okay.
When you grow a force, respectand change in your current
unhealthy relationships, therewill be paying one of the most
self-supporting things we can doin this life is embrace the
(12:05):
growing pains.
Trust me, when I say this willbecome a beneficial skill.
Remaining calm and faithfulduring painful life experiences.
Grow through what you go throughchampions.
Grow through what you go throughchampions.
(12:25):
That means embrace the pain.
Yes.
There are things we are afraidto do because we're operating in
fear.
You have to understand once youget through the pain, it all
gets better.
There's always that stage ofhealing that hurts when you set
a boundary with someoneextremely close to you, it will
(12:45):
be painful for as long as theyfight against the boundary being
set.
They may stop talking to you forawhile.
The relationship may shift forawhile, but if the person
genuinely values having you intheir life, they will respect
the boundary and embrace the newhealthier relationship.
(13:07):
You must grow no more enabling,no more guilt.
Remote Morse, no more resentmentfrom giving into the boundary
violators.
It's kind of like the beauty,Hertz type thingy, like setting
the boundary with your loved onewill hurt.
But after the boundaries are setand both parties are respecting
(13:29):
them, the relationship will bebeautiful, healthy, and will
flourish for years.
Young men.
It's okay to admit that yourmother has used her power over
you.
Young women.
It's okay to admit that yourfather has used his power over
you.
Significant others.
It's okay to admit you haveallowed your lover to use their
(13:50):
power over you.
Everyone it's okay to admit andaccept that the people that are
supposed to love you the mostmay be the number one cause of
your trauma and emotionalstress.
They also are the ones that mostlikely violate your boundaries.
Let's be real together so we canheal together.
(14:14):
Dear boundary violators.
I'm not trying to take away yourpower.
I'm just trying to show you thatabusing your power is causing
unhealthy relationships withyour child, your children, your
family members, your coworkers,your business partners, your
husband, your wife, yourboyfriend, your girlfriend, your
lover your life partner bemindful.
(14:37):
Of healthy boundaries in allaspects of your life.
If you're like me and youstruggle with setting boundaries
with people you love.
Share this podcast and listentogether and start the
conversation as a question.
Hey.
What's your view on healthyboundaries?
Recently at my Tinder older age.
(14:59):
I've missed setting, healthyboundaries in my life and I'm
reaping the benefits of it.
So please, don't be afraid tojoin me.
Setting a boundary if donecorrectly will not separate you,
but it'll actually bring yourrelationship closer.
If you don't trust me, maybeyou'll trust a licensed
therapist and relationshipexpert.
(15:21):
The author nidra Glover to Wobbein her book, set boundaries,
find peace.
She writes these words of truth.
People don't come to therapy,knowing they have boundary
issues.
When they walk in the door,boundary issues are disguised as
issues with self care conflictswith other people trouble with
(15:42):
time management or concernsabout how social media impacts
their emotional state.
Once they finished their talesof resentment on happiness,
feeling overwhelmed andcodependency.
I say to them gently.
You have an issue withboundaries with that?
We began to work on uncoveringboundary violations, learning to
communicate boundaries to othersand dealing with the aftermath
(16:05):
of setting boundaries.
Yes, there's aftermath.
When dealing with the discomfortand guilt that come from
asserting yourself.
I just read the introduction ofnature.
Gover knee-jerk Glover to WAPsbook, set boundaries, find
peace, go get your copy.
It's a life-changing book.
You are now a champion forhealing and change for quick
(16:29):
recaps of clarification andunderstanding.
Listen and listen.
Well, champions recap one.
No one, understand what boundaryviolations look like and sound
like, be prepared to set yourrespectable boundaries.
With starting new relationshipsand with your loved ones, your
(16:49):
emotions and feelings are valid.
Your mental stability should beprotected.
Your personal space and privacyshould not be invaded.
Your spiritual, ethical andmoral beliefs are yours.
Be open to grow, but don't allowothers to pressure you into a
behavior or belief you are notcomfortable with.
You also don't have to discusstopics.
(17:12):
You don't feel comfortablediscussing.
Recap to acknowledge that youmay have violated someone's
boundary at some point in yourlife by abusing your power.
As a mother, father, child, bestfriend, significant other
supervisor, business partner, orfamily member reflect over a
boundary.
You may have unknowinglycrossed.
(17:32):
And work on ways to preventviolating the boundary in the
future.
You can even start byapologizing for violating a
boundary with someone you loveand start the process of
respecting each other'sboundaries going forward.
Recap three.
Except the pain that comes withsetting boundaries with the
people you love, you haveallowed it to happen for so long
(17:56):
that you're afraid to address itand start the process.
We discussed what healthyboundary sound like now,
practicing the phrase out loud.
Let go of the fear of settingthe boundary and prepare to
embrace the pain from theaftermath of setting the
boundary, understanding thatwhen both parties are in
agreement of respecting theboundary, the relationships will
(18:20):
flourish grow closer andhealthier than before.
It's a beautiful feeling champs.
Recap for shift your mindset toa place of peace, respect, and
emotional stability setting.
Healthy boundary means lettinggo of the trauma bonds that were
created from the unhealthyboundaries.
(18:42):
You can let go of feelingoverwhelmed, the resentment,
guilt, and the unhappinessrelease, the discomfort and your
personal and work life.
Step into a mindset of freedom,joy, and peace.
It is so worth it.
All right in closing.
Elevate your mind.
(19:03):
Be open to health and wealth.
Trust the healing process,sometimes healing hurts, but
when completely healed youbecome a stronger.
Wiser and amazing human.
That was heavy.
Let's relax and breathe.
Breathe in love.
(19:24):
Breathe out.
Love.
Breathe in peace.
Breathe out peace.
Breathe in love.
Share love.
(19:46):
Now, share this podcast to helpsomeone you love heal from
Unhealthy boundaries.
we are champions.
We win together.
Let's continue to connect.
I've done all the talking, butdon't forget.
I'm also a great listener.
So after listening to thissession, you can release,
respond, reflect, or open up andacknowledge your struggles.
(20:09):
Let's start the healing processtogether.
Record your voice.
Or record a video and D M at tomy Instagram at shy, the healer
that's shy.
S H Y T H E healer, H E a L E R.
All one word.
I will try to respond to allvoice recordings and videos
(20:30):
only, but if you want to writesomething.
Write a review our comment andshare this podcast.
Champions you can support byclicking my donate and support
link in my podcast notes.
Until then see you next.
Self-care Sunday.
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