December 11, 2022 • 36 mins
Your Host: Shyra DeJuan (ShyTheHealer)
Healing from negative generational cycles and behaviors. Shift your mindset using the power of becoming a cycle breaker. Start by acknowledging your family truths and avoid denial of the dysfunction. Forgive yourself for being a victim of your negative generational cycle, forgive your parents and grandparents, they were also unaware of the negative behavior, they simply did the best they could with what they learned. Be open and willing to get professional help with your addictions, or mental health or eating habits! Make a list of all the positive benefits from overall mental health, physical health, emotional health and financial stability by taking the initiative and breaking the cycle. Verbally express and have open conversations with your family members about why it will be healthier for your family to end the cycle. You are a cycle breaker!
In this episode you will elevate your mind and be open to understanding how to heal and break negative generational cycles, We are champions! We heal together! We win together!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:04):
All smiles champions.
Welcome to mine.
Elevation health and wealth.
My name is Dhawan.
I'm an emotional healer,educator and entrepreneur.
Each week, we will dig deep intoemotionally healing, all aspects
of your life to increase yourability to create prosperity
mind, elevation health andwealth allows you to elevate and
(00:26):
shift into a growth mindset.
Share each moment with me, I'mgiving you permission to fulfill
all of the unique desires ofyour heart judgment free
shame-free guilt-free elementsto heal your mind and body as
you listen and consume the wordsof the session with no fear.
Fear of loss champions if weheal together we'll be real
(00:47):
together Embrace unconditionallove and keep listening healing
is health health is wealth youare here on purpose Session
three.
Healing from generationalbehaviors.
whether you get peace from God.
Piece from the universe or peacewith himself.
(01:09):
Become a generational cyclebreaker.
And enjoy emotional stabilityand liberation.
You are now self aware of allthe family drama and mess.
You don't have to wait until afamily functioned to know that
you're emotionally affected byyour family's dysfunction.
(01:31):
You already know who's toxic.
Who has addictions.
You know, who is abusive?
Who the fighter is who don't paybills.
Poor always broke.
You know who the family thiefis, you know, who's most likely
to catch a case.
You don't hold lies abouteverything.
(01:52):
You know who the creepy uncleis, the unstable artsy.
You know, has a mental illness,but refuses to get help.
You know, who ran away from thefamily and only comes back for
funerals.
You know, who abandoned theirchildren or have children in
foster care.
You know, who lives a secretlife?
(02:12):
You know, the matriarch.
That keeps bad family secretsenables the negative behavior.
Being in denial of all the mess.
It's time to let go of the fearof facing family truths.
If something negative runs inyour family, it's time for the
negativity to run out.
It's time for you to be thepeacemaker and cycle breaker.
(02:36):
And rewrite your family legacy.
Negative generational cycles inwith you.
Although there are manydifferent forms of unhealthy
generational cycles that mayneed to be broken.
I'm going to quickly discussfour major common generational
(02:57):
cycles and behaviors.
Negative generational cycle.
Number one.
Financial instability andpoverty.
As a mentor to young adults, Ialways give this advice.
I tell them, make a promise toyour unborn child.
Promise your future child, thatyou will not bring them into
this world in poverty.
(03:19):
You will not bring them hereuntil you've already started
your career, purchased your homeand have their nursery already
decorated and ready.
Teen pregnancy can be directlyrelated to poverty.
Most people of color, the UnitedStates were born into poverty
due to oppression from slaveryand being forced to do free
(03:41):
labor while building the.
The U S economy for the rich.
Went free slaves began to buildtheir own wealth and communities
in the late 1860s.
Those empower would destroy thecommunities with massacres
bombings lootings shooting.
Killing the whole blackcommunities.
(04:03):
If you want to further yourresearch, here's a list of
thriving, black us communitiesthat were actually destroyed by
supremacists with the help ofthe us government.
There was Tulsa, Oklahoma.
Historically known as black wallstreet masker.
So it was Colfax, Louisianamassacre, Wilmington, North
Carolina, masker andinsurrection.
(04:24):
Elaine Arkansas massacre,Rosewood, Florida massacre.
Then there was the destructionof Freedmen's town, Texas and
Houston.
Right after they were free fromGalveston.
There were other small townswhere land was stolen and
businesses shut down by thesupremacist.
Rest empower and peace to thefamilies that lost their
(04:45):
financial stability and wealth.
Due to the hate crimes and themassacres.
To this day, those familiesstill have not received
reparations from the UnitedStates government.
We must have knowledge of ourhistory to navigate a successful
future without fear.
Although many of us were notborn into wealth.
(05:06):
That does not mean we cannotcreate generational wealth for
our future.
We must create a healthyrelationship with money by
becoming financially literate.
Elevate your mind create wealth.
I will be posting a podcasttitle, creating a healthy
relationship with money.
So stay tuned and listen everyself care Sunday to my podcast.
(05:29):
Cycle breakers.
In the generational cycle ofpoverty.
Living paycheck to paycheck isnot acceptable behavior refusing
to save and pay your savingsaccount.
First is not acceptablebehavior.
The phrase.
I don't make enough money tosave.
Should not be afraid you use.
(05:49):
If you have a job within com.
Now.
I will pay my savings account.
First is an acceptable mindset.
Start speaking, acceptablephrases.
Getting evicted.
For not paying rent or househopping with relatives.
Is not acceptable behavior.
(06:11):
However, if you are living withfamily or friends, while you
save your money to purchase ahome, That is totally acceptable
it should happen more often toassist in creating generational
wealth.
Like we can help each other outlike that.
Um, so parents, if you haveadult children living with you,
It's fine for them to be livingwith you as long as they have a
(06:34):
strict budget.
And saving money for theirfuture investment or property.
It's not okay.
If they're living with you.
And they cannot show you theirmonthly savings.
Everyone needs to have a budgetand a savings account.
Your budget should be adjustingeach time.
(06:56):
There's a major financialchange.
Start the new generationalbehavior of creating a budget.
Saving 20% or more of yourincome first.
And not allowing anyone to livewith you.
If they cannot show proof ofmonthly savings.
If you have young children startthem out really young.
Give them an allowance for theworst.
(07:18):
They do sit with them and createa budget based on their
allowance.
Make them save a portion oftheir allowance by letting them
create and make.
A savings goal for the wholeyear.
Most importantly, you need tomodel the behavior.
If you have already raised yourchildren.
(07:39):
Start.
This with your grandchildren.
Oh, the joys of a mindset shift.
If you're a young adult and youhave your first job and you
spend your whole paycheckwithout saving any of it.
You need to set a savings goaland start saving a portion of
your paycheck.
The sooner you create positivefinancial habits.
(08:02):
You are less likely continue thegenerational cycle of poverty
and being poor.
Always have money saved so youcan pay your bills on time and
have discretionary income.
Chances are, if you look like amillion books, you don't really
have a million books because youspent it all.
(08:25):
Negative generational cycle.
Number two.
Lack of educational and careergoals.
As an educator.
I feel that everyone shouldgraduate from high school or
achieve their general educationdegree.
Their GED.
Being educated does not mean.
(08:46):
You must have fancy collegedegrees.
If your dream job or businessgoals can be accomplished
successfully.
Without a college degree, thengo for it.
Don't get yourself as.
It's still a long day.
If your career doesn't require acollege degree.
Being educated can beaccomplished by self-educating.
By doing your own research.
(09:07):
Reading books.
Listen to the podcast.
Watching YouTube videos.
Completing tutorials.
Getting a certificate fromtraining and.
True trial and error.
Many successful entrepreneursand vendors and entertainers.
Successful by believing inthemselves and following their
dreams.
I don't know what theypassionate about.
(09:30):
If your family members havegiven up on their dreams and
just settle for working a job.
To pay bills and live paycheckto paycheck.
They lack a success.
Driven mentality.
So accomplish our goals anddreams at some point in your
life.
Someone made you think yourdreams were not possible.
(09:50):
So you just gave up and lack themotivation to fight for it.
You can now follow your dreamand passion to end that
generational cycle.
Right someone you love wantingto be an actor and have they got
the active skills?
They got talent.
They was afraid to leave thefamily and relocate to
California to do auditions.
(10:12):
There's a fear of letting go ofthe comfortability and the guilt
of leaving family.
If you were looking for a signto follow your dreams and do
what you're passionate about,this is your sign.
Just because your family membersmight talk down on someone for
chasing their dreams andaspiring for success does not
mean you have to settle for justgetting a job to help out the
(10:35):
family.
Some families will laugh.
Ridicule.
You imply that you trying tobetray them when you discuss a
dream that they don't feel youcapable of.
They are just projecting theirfears of failure on to you.
Because they were afraid to doit.
Release your attachment and goafter your goals without fear of
(10:55):
failure.
Be the brave one with yourtalents.
Start the cycle of embracingfamily goals and dreams, not
settling for mediocre.
A person that lacks self-worthuneducated has no goals will
most likely result in thenegative generational cycle of
illegal activities.
(11:16):
Gang affiliation, drug dealing,scamming, or other bad decisions
that can lead to incarceration.
I was the first in my immediatefamily to get a master's degree.
However, my mother.
She frowned upon degrees.
She would say, you know, I knowpeople that have college degrees
and they work in JC Penny's.
(11:37):
As true as that maybe.
I did not allow her mentality ofjust getting a job and living
off of government assistance,stopped me from achieving my
goal of becoming an educator.
I consider myself to be a cyclebreaker.
You have the ability to be acycle breaker.
It is never too late toaccomplish your dreams,
(11:58):
educational goals or get yourhigh school diploma or GED.
Negative generational cycle.
Number three.
Drugs, alcohol sex, gambling,food addiction, addiction.
Hard drug addiction, whetherit's legally prescribed.
Or illegal street.
Drugs is a form of coping.
(12:20):
Coping from post traumaticstress disorder, coping from
some form of mental illness,coping from some type of sexual
abuse, coping from some form ofpain management, physical or
emotional.
Drugs are used to temporarilymask pain.
And it's highly addictive, whichcauses other forms of family
(12:40):
trauma.
Coping with drugs does not solveproblems.
It actually creates moreproblems.
We all know the negative effectsof the family drug addict.
If you have used drugs to copebecause your family has always
used drugs to cope, you arecontinue to add to the problems
of dependency.
(13:02):
Financial problems, suicide,murder, homelessness,
incarceration.
Birth defects.
Good help.
Manage your pain holisticallywithout drugs.
Seek therapy or emotionalhealing.
Facia problems to heal from theminstead of temporarily using
drugs as a band-aid.
(13:22):
We all know, once you sober up,the problems are still there.
Completely re yourself you'refor pain and you won't have to
depend on the drugs.
It's very possible.
Alcoholism is real.
And my opinion.
I'll cause one of the mostharmful legal substances on the
market.
(13:42):
Generationally family membersget drunk and party regularly.
This is not drinking socially.
This is abusing alcohol on aregular basis.
Being drunk every day is notacceptable behavior.
Getting drunk, angry and violentto family members and then
waking up the next day.
Acting like nothing happenedhappened is not acceptable
(14:05):
behavior.
Having more than one DUI andpossibly losing your driver's
license due to alcoholism'smeans you need to stop drinking.
Going to work smelling likealcohol or putting alcohol on
your coffee is a sign to me tostop drinking.
If you have to be drunk to fallasleep, or you need some type of
substance to sleep.
(14:25):
You're struggling with alcoholaddiction.
You are no longer a socialdrinker.
Family center drinking has beena norm for many of us.
We party.
Play loud music.
Get drunk, cuss each other outfight.
And then the party is over.
The cycle continues and we startto normalize the behavior, even
(14:46):
though it was detrimental to ourmental health.
Our liver and our ability tobuild a healthy relationship was
family and possibly cause workproblems.
Functional alcoholics makesexcuses for the alcoholism and
they alcoholism.
And they may say things like.
I keep a job and I pay my bills.
(15:06):
So it's not a problem.
Even though it is a hugeproblem.
I come from a family ofdrinkers.
I remember.
Asking my, my daddy.
I would say.
Daddy.
When are you going to quitdrinking?
He would say my mama didn'traise no quitter.
Then he was saying.
I ain't no alcoholic alcoholicsgo to those meetings.
(15:30):
My daddy is the reason my senseof humor is off the charts.
However, the truth is.
Generationally alcoholism,drugs, cigarette addiction, and
poor eating habits because earlydeaths in my family.
I lost my uncles in their latethirties, lost a cousin to drug
(15:50):
overdose, those lost, uh, auntto lung cancer.
They were gone.
They are gone too soon, buttheir lives are not in vain.
They are part of the reason I'mexpressing the importance of
being the cycle breaker in yourfamily.
I understand.
That you have always.
What you have always viewed as afamily norm.
(16:13):
Maybe.
Actually dysfunctional behavior.
You don't have to repeat thebehavior sex addiction.
Can consist of spending moneyfor sex, having multiple sex
partners that can lead tounprotected sex, unwanted
pregnancy, bringing babies intopoverty, untreated, deadly,
(16:34):
sexually transmitted diseasesthat can lead to an early death.
Gambling addictions can causeconstant financial hardships and
illegal activity.
I will leave all that rightthere on the crap table.
Just don't start gambling awaymoney while you smoking that
cigarette.
You have bills to pay and afamily to take care of bro.
(16:56):
All of you.
That we're listening and judgingthe drug and alcohol abusers.
I'm not finished.
Food addicts.
AKA foodies.
Your addiction to food is anumber one cause of death in the
United States, based on themedical news today, and an
article written and published byBenson J to Vela.
States.
Heart disease is the number onecause of gifts.
(17:18):
And the article also states.
That this is directly related topoor eating habits.
Lack of physical exercise.
Some other leading causes ofdeath.
We're diabetes and cancer.
Y'all are not surprised.
So understand that we know weneed to eat healthy food to
(17:39):
survive, but we also know thatwhen we overeat, I healthy food,
we die.
So, if you have been enablingyour family with those unhealthy
meals and you have been copingwith your stress by unhealthy
comfort food.
And you have all these bodyaches and pains and you don't
know why you get a headache whenyou haven't drank your coffee or
soda full of sugar and caffeine.
(18:01):
You want to go child sneak foodin the middle of the night, or
you keep getting all these fakediets and you get a gym
membership to go text socialmedia pics on the treadmill, and
then walk out the gym.
Instead of walking on thetreadmill.
It's time for you to createhealthy behaviors and eating
habits for your family.
You're killing yourself.
(18:21):
And the doctors will justprescribe two blood pressure
pills, insulin, and other drugsyou need.
For your ailments due to pooreating because big
pharmaceutical.
So.
Because big pharmaceuticalcompanies, AKA big pharma, AKA
the world's biggest drug dealerwill continue to make billions
(18:42):
from your poor health choices.
If you are suffering from poorhealth due to your food
addictions, please seek aregistered dietician or a
nutrition, nutrition.
Or a nutritionist.
To explore eating habits thatare more beneficial to you and
your family's health.
Getting weight loss surgery, orgetting a tummy tuck or BBL
(19:05):
before you have actively changedto a healthier lifestyle is a
waste of money.
So once again, Someone will getrich from your unhealthy life
choices.
If you are the head of thehousehold, your family will
follow your eating habits.
I'm a cycle breaker.
When I changed my eating habits,not only did my son changed his
(19:25):
eating habits, but familymembers in my circle became more
mindful of their foodconsumption and exercise
routines.
Your health is wealth.
Live longer.
Live pain-free.
Live healthy.
And courage workout days withyour family.
Create workout challenges foryour family.
Share healthy soul food recipes.
(19:47):
You can still eat what you love,but just watch your portion
sizes and be willing to burn thecalories with a great workout
afterwards.
Save that extra money you'vebeen spending on fast food.
Door dash and over ordering atfancy restaurants.
Save that extra money you havesuspend on hospital and urgent
care copays.
(20:08):
Save that extra money you beenspending on fake diets and
surgeries, and just create agenerational lifestyle change.
And plan for your family.
The ideas are temporary weightloss plans, but a healthy
lifestyle change.
Forms longterm habits, they mayincrease your lifespan and
change the genetic makeup ofyour future generation of
(20:31):
children and grandchildren.
Break the generational cycle offood edition and unhealthy
lifestyles.
Negative generational cyclenumber four.
Child abuse.
Lack of nurture abandonment.
I had to say the best for last.
(20:52):
I'm warning you now.
This will be D and defy all ofyour current beliefs about
weapons and me.
This one is one that I was ableto cycle break, but it was
extremely hard to mentally wrapmy mind around how and why.
Physical abuse is so wrongbecause you get so used to
knowing and hearing that you gotto whoop your kids.
(21:14):
You got to beat your kids.
So.
We all know the whole quote,spare the rod, spoil the child.
The rod represents discipline.
So many times older folk willsay beating the child is the
best form of discipline.
We have used physical abuse fordiscipline for generations and
(21:36):
generations.
Not even for just children, butalso physical abuse and
marriages and relationships.
My favorite movie, the colorpurple.
There's a scene when Harpo comesto Seely.
And ask for advice on how to getSophia, to comply, let him lead
and to be a good wife.
(21:57):
Prepares I reenact the scenewith my acting skills.
Harpo serious.
What.
That's all for you.
Sealy slowly stands up, looksheartful in the ISS.
Bita.
Later Sophia comes to Seeley,extremely angry and says.
(22:23):
You told cop beat me.
All my life.
I had to fight.
I had to fight my daddy.
I had to fight.
I had to fight my brothers.
Girl chatting safe in a familyof means, but I never thought I
have to find in my own house.
(22:45):
No.
God knows that.
Do.
But have kill him day before Ilet him beat me.
Now you won't have dead.
Son-in-law Ms.
Seeley.
You keep it fast.
At him like you doing.
It's an amazing film thatdepicts many different forms of
(23:06):
emotional generational abuse andtrauma from that time period.
However, Sealy didn't mean anyharm to Sophia.
She was just simply expressingthe only thing she has been
taught and experiencedgenerationally.
As the audience.
We all knew it was wrong, but weunderstood disturbingly that
this was the patriarchal normmen beat their wives and
(23:30):
children for obedience dominanceand to provoke, fear and power.
We have to dig deep to wherethis patriarchal dominance came
from.
I'll start.
On the plantation duringslavery.
If you ever watched the movieroots, there's a scene.
When a newly purchased slavenamed Kente was purchased and
(23:51):
brought to the United Statesslave plantation.
And the scene, the slave mastergives them a name.
Toby.
To strip him of his Africanroots and identity, they take
away their name and give them anew name.
Counter refuses to say that thisis name Toby.
So the slave master ties him upand whips him.
(24:13):
Until he complies.
It says his name was Toby.
He has all the other slaves justwatching.
To teach a lesson.
The scene is an emotional scene.
And if you cry watching themovie roots or cry watching any
other slave movie, then youshould understand why physical
abuse for compliance is not thebest form of discipline.
(24:36):
It should not be used.
To discipline our children.
It was a negative generationallearned behavior from the slave
plantations.
Even though people say.
The child, his dad, because hedidn't get enough weapons.
That is so far from the truthand reality, it's always the
child that received the mostweapons that happens to be the
(24:59):
baddest.
Because physical abuse createsemotional trauma.
It teaches violence anddehumanizes children.
You can discipline your childwithout physically abusing them
the same as you can be the headof your household without
abusing your significant otheror spouse.
We have to stop teaching ourchildren.
(25:20):
That physical abuse is anacceptable behavior for
discipline.
If you want to properlydiscipline someone.
The most effective way todiscipline is to take away a
privilege, take away materialpossession.
Or make the child correct theirnegative behavior, for example.
I have a child writes on thewall, make them clean all the
(25:40):
walls of the home.
If the child breaks or damagessomething, make them use their
own money to repair or replace.
And by all means.
Take away their cell phones andelectronic devices.
This type of discipline, teachesaccountability for their
actions.
Promote a better choice inbehavior and teaches a life
(26:03):
lesson.
A weapon just teaches himviolence and it's a quick and
easy way for them to get back totheir poor behavior.
That's why people eventually sayI beat them and they still bad.
Right because beatings don'tteach a change behavior.
Your children are not dogs.
You can train a dog with a ride.
(26:23):
Your children are humans.
They are capable of learningpositive behavior by using
proper discipline.
Slave masters, dehumanizeslaves.
Get off the plantation.
Ray's we spectacle non-violenthumans.
You wonder why your child startselementary school and smacks
another child because they don'tdo what they want it.
(26:45):
The first thing you say is, youknow, better than hitting
people.
But do they know better?
Or do they know the learnbehavior from home?
You wonder why the teacher callsyou because your child yells and
cusses out everyone in theclassroom and disrupts class by
yelling at others.
The first thing you say is, youknow, better than yelling and
cussing in a class.
(27:06):
But do they know better afterall you yell and cuss out
everybody in the house?
This is a generational learnbehavior.
Nurture your children.
Hug your children.
Love on your children.
Discipline with an intent toteach a better behavior.
Talk to your children have realconversations with your
(27:28):
children.
They didn't ask to be here.
You brought them here.
And now they're here and youtreat them like they're an
unwanted, expensive pet.
This is why some of us that arecurrently in the process of
healing from negativegenerational behaviors.
Have to do what psychologistscall reparenting is a process
(27:49):
where you forgive your parentsfor the dysfunctional way they
raised you and become your ownparent and reparent to heal from
the trauma of your childhood.
You don't want your children torequire healing from having you
as a parent?
And the negative generationalcycle of child abuse.
Lack of nurture.
(28:09):
Neglect and abandonment byhealing before you become a
parent.
Abandoned children, our childrenleft to be raised with other
family members or foster care.
Feelings of abandonment can alsobe created by a parent that
works all the time and comeshome mad, overworked and tired.
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If you have to work all thetime, refer back to negative
generational cycle.
Number one, ending financialinstability, and poverty.
Don't come home, angry andyelling at everybody.
Stop all day yelling at yourhouse.
You already have high bloodpressure from the unhealthy
eating habits.
So now you've gone throwyourself into a stroke.
Cycle breaker, make your home apeaceful home with genuine love,
(28:55):
proper disciplinary techniques.
Nurturing and being a presentparent.
How are you?
Champion for a lot of changes.
Cycle breaker.
If you are hearing my voicetoday is a day you accept the
fact you were created with adivine purpose to break all
(29:17):
unhealthy generational behaviorswithin your family.
It does not matter how old youare.
How you have always been howmany true children you may
already have.
It starts with you.
Do it for your family?
Your siblings, yourgrandchildren leave a family
legacy.
That's more valuable than money.
(29:39):
Start by acknowledging yourfamily truths and avoid denial
of the dysfunction.
Forgive yourself for being avictim of your negative
generational cycle.
Forgive their parents andgrandparents.
They were also unaware of thenegative behavior.
They simply did the best theycould.
What they learned.
Be open and willing to get aprofessional help with your
(30:00):
addictions or mental health oreating habits.
Make a list.
All the positive benefits fromoverall mental health, physical
health, emotional health, andfinancial stability.
By taking the initiative andbreaking the cycle.
Verbally express and have openconversations with your family
members about why it will behealthier for your family to end
(30:22):
the cycle.
You all can become cyclebreakers.
Each week.
I wrote an author based on alife-changing book operate.
Bill hooks.
A distinguished professor,social activist and author.
She passed away in December of2021.
I admired her work and wouldhave wished to meet her.
(30:43):
If I could have in her booktitled salvation, she discusses
the negative impact of apatriarchal home by saying this.
And our patriarchal home.
Love for our father always tooksecond place to our fear of him.
Growing up in a household whereour mother was willingly
subordinate to our father anduse Christian teaching to
(31:05):
justify female obedience tomales.
I witnessed firsthand the way inwhich male domination.
Like all forms of domination.
Make love impossible.
While one can care for someonedeeply.
And dominate them.
It is impossible to truly lovesomeone and dominate and abuse
them.
(31:26):
She goes on to quote a reminderfrom rabbi Harold Kushner.
Which states.
Love can be generated onlybetween people who see
themselves as equals.
Between people who can bemutually fulfilling for each
other.
When one commands and the otherobeys, there can be loyalty and
gratitude, but not love.
(31:47):
Then she goes on to quote areminder from cycle analyst,
Carl Jones, who states.
You can love someone and givethem the room and the right to
be themselves.
You can try to control them.
To make them do your will,whether for his own good or for
the enhancement of your ego, butyou cannot do both at the same
(32:07):
time.
When people become obsessed withabuse and power.
Uh, barrier is created, blockingour capacity to truly love one
another.
Rest in peace of bell hooks inher creative works.
The book salvation islife-changing and an amazing
read.
If you're open to healing fromtrauma.
Lack of nurture and lack of truefamily love.
(32:30):
I also read her book title outabout love.
It's also a must read.
You are now a champion forhealing and change.
Or quick recaps.
Of clarification andunderstanding.
Listen and listen.
Well, Rick had one.
Don't bring the child intopoverty.
Your future child does notdeserve to be born.
(32:51):
Poor, create a budget of yourfinances or do financial
literacy workshop a new year asquickly approaching do a vision
board.
Financial budget party with yourfriends and family.
Learn how to sacrifice and saveyour money.
By paying your savings account.
First, pay yourself first.
If you have a job, the money isthere.
(33:13):
Get out of debt.
Recap too.
It's never too late toaccomplish your goals.
Self-educate use your talents tobe successful and avoid people
in your life or family thatcrush your dreams, or try to
prevent you from chasing yourgoals and dreams.
Be educated, work hard tofollow, whatever it is you are
passionate about.
Don't fear, failure, and don'tfear letting go of family
(33:35):
attachments.
Don't be afraid of negativeresponse from your family
members.
We kept three.
He'll from all addictions.
Don't be afraid to getprofessional help.
Genuinely heal.
Don't temporarily masterproblems by unhealthy coping.
There are healthy ways to copefrom trauma that don't involve
drugs, alcohol cigarettes, andunhealthy food.
(33:56):
Make healthy lifestyle changesthat can potentially change your
genetic makeup for futuregenerations of your family
health, which will also createfamily wealth.
Remembering that heart disease,diabetes and cancer are leading
causes of death in the UnitedStates.
I find a great dietician.
Nutritionist or fitness trainerthat can get you on the right
track.
Not a diet, a lifestyle changefor the whole family.
(34:20):
Holistically recap for physicalabuse, lack of nurture and
abandonment are dysfunctionalpatterns of child raising that
we learned from plantations,physical abuse and dominance was
used to evoke fear anddehumanized slaves.
Your children are human.
This was negatively passed on toour grandparents and parents.
(34:41):
They were unconsciously aware ofthe dysfunction and harm that it
has caused us.
It has caused us to learnviolence has psychological
trauma and broken families.
Let's create positive changes toour bloodline.
Be liberated from the emotionalscars of abuse.
Promote true love value, andself-worth to our children and
(35:02):
create a home full of peace,love and liberation.
Elevate your mind.
Be open to health and wealth.
Trust the healing process,sometimes healing hurts, but
when completely healed youbecome a stronger.
Wiser and amazing human.
That was heavy.
(35:23):
Let's relax and breathe.
Breathe in love.
Breathe out.
Love.
Breathe in peace.
Breathe out peace.
(35:44):
Breathe in love.
Share love.
Now, share this podcast to helpsomeone you love heal from
negative generational cycles.
we are champions.
We win together.
Let's continue to connect.
(36:05):
I've done all the talking, butdon't forget.
I'm also a great listener.
So after listening to thissession, you can release,
respond, reflect, or open up andacknowledge your struggles.
Let's start the healing processtogether.
Record your voice.
Or record a video and D M at tomy Instagram at shy, the healer
(36:27):
that's shy.
S H Y T H E healer, H E a L E R.
All one word.
I will try to respond to allvoice recordings and videos
only, but if you want to writesomething.
Write a review our comment andshare this podcast.
Champions you can support byclicking the link to donate and
(36:51):
support in my podcast notesuntil then see you next.
Healthcare sunday
All smiles champions.
Welcome to mine.
Elevation health and wealth.
My name is Dhawan.
I'm an emotional healer,educator and entrepreneur.
Each week, we will dig deep intoemotionally healing, all aspects
of your life to increase yourability to create prosperity
mind, elevation health andwealth allows you to elevate and
(00:26):
shift into a growth mindset.
Share each moment with me, I'mgiving you permission to fulfill
all of the unique desires ofyour heart judgment free
shame-free guilt-free elementsto heal your mind and body as
you listen and consume the wordsof the session with no fear.
Fear of loss champions if weheal together we'll be real
(00:47):
together Embrace unconditionallove and keep listening healing
is health health is wealth youare here on purpose Session
three.
Healing from generationalbehaviors.
whether you get peace from God.
Piece from the universe or peacewith himself.
(01:09):
Become a generational cyclebreaker.
And enjoy emotional stabilityand liberation.
You are now self aware of allthe family drama and mess.
You don't have to wait until afamily functioned to know that
you're emotionally affected byyour family's dysfunction.
(01:31):
You already know who's toxic.
Who has addictions.
You know, who is abusive?
Who the fighter is who don't paybills.
Poor always broke.
You know who the family thiefis, you know, who's most likely
to catch a case.
You don't hold lies abouteverything.
(01:52):
You know who the creepy uncleis, the unstable artsy.
You know, has a mental illness,but refuses to get help.
You know, who ran away from thefamily and only comes back for
funerals.
You know, who abandoned theirchildren or have children in
foster care.
You know, who lives a secretlife?
(02:12):
You know, the matriarch.
That keeps bad family secretsenables the negative behavior.
Being in denial of all the mess.
It's time to let go of the fearof facing family truths.
If something negative runs inyour family, it's time for the
negativity to run out.
It's time for you to be thepeacemaker and cycle breaker.
(02:36):
And rewrite your family legacy.
Negative generational cycles inwith you.
Although there are manydifferent forms of unhealthy
generational cycles that mayneed to be broken.
I'm going to quickly discussfour major common generational
(02:57):
cycles and behaviors.
Negative generational cycle.
Number one.
Financial instability andpoverty.
As a mentor to young adults, Ialways give this advice.
I tell them, make a promise toyour unborn child.
Promise your future child, thatyou will not bring them into
this world in poverty.
(03:19):
You will not bring them hereuntil you've already started
your career, purchased your homeand have their nursery already
decorated and ready.
Teen pregnancy can be directlyrelated to poverty.
Most people of color, the UnitedStates were born into poverty
due to oppression from slaveryand being forced to do free
(03:41):
labor while building the.
The U S economy for the rich.
Went free slaves began to buildtheir own wealth and communities
in the late 1860s.
Those empower would destroy thecommunities with massacres
bombings lootings shooting.
Killing the whole blackcommunities.
(04:03):
If you want to further yourresearch, here's a list of
thriving, black us communitiesthat were actually destroyed by
supremacists with the help ofthe us government.
There was Tulsa, Oklahoma.
Historically known as black wallstreet masker.
So it was Colfax, Louisianamassacre, Wilmington, North
Carolina, masker andinsurrection.
(04:24):
Elaine Arkansas massacre,Rosewood, Florida massacre.
Then there was the destructionof Freedmen's town, Texas and
Houston.
Right after they were free fromGalveston.
There were other small townswhere land was stolen and
businesses shut down by thesupremacist.
Rest empower and peace to thefamilies that lost their
(04:45):
financial stability and wealth.
Due to the hate crimes and themassacres.
To this day, those familiesstill have not received
reparations from the UnitedStates government.
We must have knowledge of ourhistory to navigate a successful
future without fear.
Although many of us were notborn into wealth.
(05:06):
That does not mean we cannotcreate generational wealth for
our future.
We must create a healthyrelationship with money by
becoming financially literate.
Elevate your mind create wealth.
I will be posting a podcasttitle, creating a healthy
relationship with money.
So stay tuned and listen everyself care Sunday to my podcast.
(05:29):
Cycle breakers.
In the generational cycle ofpoverty.
Living paycheck to paycheck isnot acceptable behavior refusing
to save and pay your savingsaccount.
First is not acceptablebehavior.
The phrase.
I don't make enough money tosave.
Should not be afraid you use.
(05:49):
If you have a job within com.
Now.
I will pay my savings account.
First is an acceptable mindset.
Start speaking, acceptablephrases.
Getting evicted.
For not paying rent or househopping with relatives.
Is not acceptable behavior.
(06:11):
However, if you are living withfamily or friends, while you
save your money to purchase ahome, That is totally acceptable
it should happen more often toassist in creating generational
wealth.
Like we can help each other outlike that.
Um, so parents, if you haveadult children living with you,
It's fine for them to be livingwith you as long as they have a
(06:34):
strict budget.
And saving money for theirfuture investment or property.
It's not okay.
If they're living with you.
And they cannot show you theirmonthly savings.
Everyone needs to have a budgetand a savings account.
Your budget should be adjustingeach time.
(06:56):
There's a major financialchange.
Start the new generationalbehavior of creating a budget.
Saving 20% or more of yourincome first.
And not allowing anyone to livewith you.
If they cannot show proof ofmonthly savings.
If you have young children startthem out really young.
Give them an allowance for theworst.
(07:18):
They do sit with them and createa budget based on their
allowance.
Make them save a portion oftheir allowance by letting them
create and make.
A savings goal for the wholeyear.
Most importantly, you need tomodel the behavior.
If you have already raised yourchildren.
(07:39):
Start.
This with your grandchildren.
Oh, the joys of a mindset shift.
If you're a young adult and youhave your first job and you
spend your whole paycheckwithout saving any of it.
You need to set a savings goaland start saving a portion of
your paycheck.
The sooner you create positivefinancial habits.
(08:02):
You are less likely continue thegenerational cycle of poverty
and being poor.
Always have money saved so youcan pay your bills on time and
have discretionary income.
Chances are, if you look like amillion books, you don't really
have a million books because youspent it all.
(08:25):
Negative generational cycle.
Number two.
Lack of educational and careergoals.
As an educator.
I feel that everyone shouldgraduate from high school or
achieve their general educationdegree.
Their GED.
Being educated does not mean.
(08:46):
You must have fancy collegedegrees.
If your dream job or businessgoals can be accomplished
successfully.
Without a college degree, thengo for it.
Don't get yourself as.
It's still a long day.
If your career doesn't require acollege degree.
Being educated can beaccomplished by self-educating.
By doing your own research.
(09:07):
Reading books.
Listen to the podcast.
Watching YouTube videos.
Completing tutorials.
Getting a certificate fromtraining and.
True trial and error.
Many successful entrepreneursand vendors and entertainers.
Successful by believing inthemselves and following their
dreams.
I don't know what theypassionate about.
(09:30):
If your family members havegiven up on their dreams and
just settle for working a job.
To pay bills and live paycheckto paycheck.
They lack a success.
Driven mentality.
So accomplish our goals anddreams at some point in your
life.
Someone made you think yourdreams were not possible.
(09:50):
So you just gave up and lack themotivation to fight for it.
You can now follow your dreamand passion to end that
generational cycle.
Right someone you love wantingto be an actor and have they got
the active skills?
They got talent.
They was afraid to leave thefamily and relocate to
California to do auditions.
(10:12):
There's a fear of letting go ofthe comfortability and the guilt
of leaving family.
If you were looking for a signto follow your dreams and do
what you're passionate about,this is your sign.
Just because your family membersmight talk down on someone for
chasing their dreams andaspiring for success does not
mean you have to settle for justgetting a job to help out the
(10:35):
family.
Some families will laugh.
Ridicule.
You imply that you trying tobetray them when you discuss a
dream that they don't feel youcapable of.
They are just projecting theirfears of failure on to you.
Because they were afraid to doit.
Release your attachment and goafter your goals without fear of
(10:55):
failure.
Be the brave one with yourtalents.
Start the cycle of embracingfamily goals and dreams, not
settling for mediocre.
A person that lacks self-worthuneducated has no goals will
most likely result in thenegative generational cycle of
illegal activities.
(11:16):
Gang affiliation, drug dealing,scamming, or other bad decisions
that can lead to incarceration.
I was the first in my immediatefamily to get a master's degree.
However, my mother.
She frowned upon degrees.
She would say, you know, I knowpeople that have college degrees
and they work in JC Penny's.
(11:37):
As true as that maybe.
I did not allow her mentality ofjust getting a job and living
off of government assistance,stopped me from achieving my
goal of becoming an educator.
I consider myself to be a cyclebreaker.
You have the ability to be acycle breaker.
It is never too late toaccomplish your dreams,
(11:58):
educational goals or get yourhigh school diploma or GED.
Negative generational cycle.
Number three.
Drugs, alcohol sex, gambling,food addiction, addiction.
Hard drug addiction, whetherit's legally prescribed.
Or illegal street.
Drugs is a form of coping.
(12:20):
Coping from post traumaticstress disorder, coping from
some form of mental illness,coping from some type of sexual
abuse, coping from some form ofpain management, physical or
emotional.
Drugs are used to temporarilymask pain.
And it's highly addictive, whichcauses other forms of family
(12:40):
trauma.
Coping with drugs does not solveproblems.
It actually creates moreproblems.
We all know the negative effectsof the family drug addict.
If you have used drugs to copebecause your family has always
used drugs to cope, you arecontinue to add to the problems
of dependency.
(13:02):
Financial problems, suicide,murder, homelessness,
incarceration.
Birth defects.
Good help.
Manage your pain holisticallywithout drugs.
Seek therapy or emotionalhealing.
Facia problems to heal from theminstead of temporarily using
drugs as a band-aid.
(13:22):
We all know, once you sober up,the problems are still there.
Completely re yourself you'refor pain and you won't have to
depend on the drugs.
It's very possible.
Alcoholism is real.
And my opinion.
I'll cause one of the mostharmful legal substances on the
market.
(13:42):
Generationally family membersget drunk and party regularly.
This is not drinking socially.
This is abusing alcohol on aregular basis.
Being drunk every day is notacceptable behavior.
Getting drunk, angry and violentto family members and then
waking up the next day.
Acting like nothing happenedhappened is not acceptable
(14:05):
behavior.
Having more than one DUI andpossibly losing your driver's
license due to alcoholism'smeans you need to stop drinking.
Going to work smelling likealcohol or putting alcohol on
your coffee is a sign to me tostop drinking.
If you have to be drunk to fallasleep, or you need some type of
substance to sleep.
(14:25):
You're struggling with alcoholaddiction.
You are no longer a socialdrinker.
Family center drinking has beena norm for many of us.
We party.
Play loud music.
Get drunk, cuss each other outfight.
And then the party is over.
The cycle continues and we startto normalize the behavior, even
(14:46):
though it was detrimental to ourmental health.
Our liver and our ability tobuild a healthy relationship was
family and possibly cause workproblems.
Functional alcoholics makesexcuses for the alcoholism and
they alcoholism.
And they may say things like.
I keep a job and I pay my bills.
(15:06):
So it's not a problem.
Even though it is a hugeproblem.
I come from a family ofdrinkers.
I remember.
Asking my, my daddy.
I would say.
Daddy.
When are you going to quitdrinking?
He would say my mama didn'traise no quitter.
Then he was saying.
I ain't no alcoholic alcoholicsgo to those meetings.
(15:30):
My daddy is the reason my senseof humor is off the charts.
However, the truth is.
Generationally alcoholism,drugs, cigarette addiction, and
poor eating habits because earlydeaths in my family.
I lost my uncles in their latethirties, lost a cousin to drug
(15:50):
overdose, those lost, uh, auntto lung cancer.
They were gone.
They are gone too soon, buttheir lives are not in vain.
They are part of the reason I'mexpressing the importance of
being the cycle breaker in yourfamily.
I understand.
That you have always.
What you have always viewed as afamily norm.
(16:13):
Maybe.
Actually dysfunctional behavior.
You don't have to repeat thebehavior sex addiction.
Can consist of spending moneyfor sex, having multiple sex
partners that can lead tounprotected sex, unwanted
pregnancy, bringing babies intopoverty, untreated, deadly,
(16:34):
sexually transmitted diseasesthat can lead to an early death.
Gambling addictions can causeconstant financial hardships and
illegal activity.
I will leave all that rightthere on the crap table.
Just don't start gambling awaymoney while you smoking that
cigarette.
You have bills to pay and afamily to take care of bro.
(16:56):
All of you.
That we're listening and judgingthe drug and alcohol abusers.
I'm not finished.
Food addicts.
AKA foodies.
Your addiction to food is anumber one cause of death in the
United States, based on themedical news today, and an
article written and published byBenson J to Vela.
States.
Heart disease is the number onecause of gifts.
(17:18):
And the article also states.
That this is directly related topoor eating habits.
Lack of physical exercise.
Some other leading causes ofdeath.
We're diabetes and cancer.
Y'all are not surprised.
So understand that we know weneed to eat healthy food to
(17:39):
survive, but we also know thatwhen we overeat, I healthy food,
we die.
So, if you have been enablingyour family with those unhealthy
meals and you have been copingwith your stress by unhealthy
comfort food.
And you have all these bodyaches and pains and you don't
know why you get a headache whenyou haven't drank your coffee or
soda full of sugar and caffeine.
(18:01):
You want to go child sneak foodin the middle of the night, or
you keep getting all these fakediets and you get a gym
membership to go text socialmedia pics on the treadmill, and
then walk out the gym.
Instead of walking on thetreadmill.
It's time for you to createhealthy behaviors and eating
habits for your family.
You're killing yourself.
(18:21):
And the doctors will justprescribe two blood pressure
pills, insulin, and other drugsyou need.
For your ailments due to pooreating because big
pharmaceutical.
So.
Because big pharmaceuticalcompanies, AKA big pharma, AKA
the world's biggest drug dealerwill continue to make billions
(18:42):
from your poor health choices.
If you are suffering from poorhealth due to your food
addictions, please seek aregistered dietician or a
nutrition, nutrition.
Or a nutritionist.
To explore eating habits thatare more beneficial to you and
your family's health.
Getting weight loss surgery, orgetting a tummy tuck or BBL
(19:05):
before you have actively changedto a healthier lifestyle is a
waste of money.
So once again, Someone will getrich from your unhealthy life
choices.
If you are the head of thehousehold, your family will
follow your eating habits.
I'm a cycle breaker.
When I changed my eating habits,not only did my son changed his
(19:25):
eating habits, but familymembers in my circle became more
mindful of their foodconsumption and exercise
routines.
Your health is wealth.
Live longer.
Live pain-free.
Live healthy.
And courage workout days withyour family.
Create workout challenges foryour family.
Share healthy soul food recipes.
(19:47):
You can still eat what you love,but just watch your portion
sizes and be willing to burn thecalories with a great workout
afterwards.
Save that extra money you'vebeen spending on fast food.
Door dash and over ordering atfancy restaurants.
Save that extra money you havesuspend on hospital and urgent
care copays.
(20:08):
Save that extra money you beenspending on fake diets and
surgeries, and just create agenerational lifestyle change.
And plan for your family.
The ideas are temporary weightloss plans, but a healthy
lifestyle change.
Forms longterm habits, they mayincrease your lifespan and
change the genetic makeup ofyour future generation of
(20:31):
children and grandchildren.
Break the generational cycle offood edition and unhealthy
lifestyles.
Negative generational cyclenumber four.
Child abuse.
Lack of nurture abandonment.
I had to say the best for last.
(20:52):
I'm warning you now.
This will be D and defy all ofyour current beliefs about
weapons and me.
This one is one that I was ableto cycle break, but it was
extremely hard to mentally wrapmy mind around how and why.
Physical abuse is so wrongbecause you get so used to
knowing and hearing that you gotto whoop your kids.
(21:14):
You got to beat your kids.
So.
We all know the whole quote,spare the rod, spoil the child.
The rod represents discipline.
So many times older folk willsay beating the child is the
best form of discipline.
We have used physical abuse fordiscipline for generations and
(21:36):
generations.
Not even for just children, butalso physical abuse and
marriages and relationships.
My favorite movie, the colorpurple.
There's a scene when Harpo comesto Seely.
And ask for advice on how to getSophia, to comply, let him lead
and to be a good wife.
(21:57):
Prepares I reenact the scenewith my acting skills.
Harpo serious.
What.
That's all for you.
Sealy slowly stands up, looksheartful in the ISS.
Bita.
Later Sophia comes to Seeley,extremely angry and says.
(22:23):
You told cop beat me.
All my life.
I had to fight.
I had to fight my daddy.
I had to fight.
I had to fight my brothers.
Girl chatting safe in a familyof means, but I never thought I
have to find in my own house.
(22:45):
No.
God knows that.
Do.
But have kill him day before Ilet him beat me.
Now you won't have dead.
Son-in-law Ms.
Seeley.
You keep it fast.
At him like you doing.
It's an amazing film thatdepicts many different forms of
(23:06):
emotional generational abuse andtrauma from that time period.
However, Sealy didn't mean anyharm to Sophia.
She was just simply expressingthe only thing she has been
taught and experiencedgenerationally.
As the audience.
We all knew it was wrong, but weunderstood disturbingly that
this was the patriarchal normmen beat their wives and
(23:30):
children for obedience dominanceand to provoke, fear and power.
We have to dig deep to wherethis patriarchal dominance came
from.
I'll start.
On the plantation duringslavery.
If you ever watched the movieroots, there's a scene.
When a newly purchased slavenamed Kente was purchased and
(23:51):
brought to the United Statesslave plantation.
And the scene, the slave mastergives them a name.
Toby.
To strip him of his Africanroots and identity, they take
away their name and give them anew name.
Counter refuses to say that thisis name Toby.
So the slave master ties him upand whips him.
(24:13):
Until he complies.
It says his name was Toby.
He has all the other slaves justwatching.
To teach a lesson.
The scene is an emotional scene.
And if you cry watching themovie roots or cry watching any
other slave movie, then youshould understand why physical
abuse for compliance is not thebest form of discipline.
(24:36):
It should not be used.
To discipline our children.
It was a negative generationallearned behavior from the slave
plantations.
Even though people say.
The child, his dad, because hedidn't get enough weapons.
That is so far from the truthand reality, it's always the
child that received the mostweapons that happens to be the
(24:59):
baddest.
Because physical abuse createsemotional trauma.
It teaches violence anddehumanizes children.
You can discipline your childwithout physically abusing them
the same as you can be the headof your household without
abusing your significant otheror spouse.
We have to stop teaching ourchildren.
(25:20):
That physical abuse is anacceptable behavior for
discipline.
If you want to properlydiscipline someone.
The most effective way todiscipline is to take away a
privilege, take away materialpossession.
Or make the child correct theirnegative behavior, for example.
I have a child writes on thewall, make them clean all the
(25:40):
walls of the home.
If the child breaks or damagessomething, make them use their
own money to repair or replace.
And by all means.
Take away their cell phones andelectronic devices.
This type of discipline, teachesaccountability for their
actions.
Promote a better choice inbehavior and teaches a life
(26:03):
lesson.
A weapon just teaches himviolence and it's a quick and
easy way for them to get back totheir poor behavior.
That's why people eventually sayI beat them and they still bad.
Right because beatings don'tteach a change behavior.
Your children are not dogs.
You can train a dog with a ride.
(26:23):
Your children are humans.
They are capable of learningpositive behavior by using
proper discipline.
Slave masters, dehumanizeslaves.
Get off the plantation.
Ray's we spectacle non-violenthumans.
You wonder why your child startselementary school and smacks
another child because they don'tdo what they want it.
(26:45):
The first thing you say is, youknow, better than hitting
people.
But do they know better?
Or do they know the learnbehavior from home?
You wonder why the teacher callsyou because your child yells and
cusses out everyone in theclassroom and disrupts class by
yelling at others.
The first thing you say is, youknow, better than yelling and
cussing in a class.
(27:06):
But do they know better afterall you yell and cuss out
everybody in the house?
This is a generational learnbehavior.
Nurture your children.
Hug your children.
Love on your children.
Discipline with an intent toteach a better behavior.
Talk to your children have realconversations with your
(27:28):
children.
They didn't ask to be here.
You brought them here.
And now they're here and youtreat them like they're an
unwanted, expensive pet.
This is why some of us that arecurrently in the process of
healing from negativegenerational behaviors.
Have to do what psychologistscall reparenting is a process
(27:49):
where you forgive your parentsfor the dysfunctional way they
raised you and become your ownparent and reparent to heal from
the trauma of your childhood.
You don't want your children torequire healing from having you
as a parent?
And the negative generationalcycle of child abuse.
Lack of nurture.
(28:09):
Neglect and abandonment byhealing before you become a
parent.
Abandoned children, our childrenleft to be raised with other
family members or foster care.
Feelings of abandonment can alsobe created by a parent that
works all the time and comeshome mad, overworked and tired.
(28:31):
If you have to work all thetime, refer back to negative
generational cycle.
Number one, ending financialinstability, and poverty.
Don't come home, angry andyelling at everybody.
Stop all day yelling at yourhouse.
You already have high bloodpressure from the unhealthy
eating habits.
So now you've gone throwyourself into a stroke.
Cycle breaker, make your home apeaceful home with genuine love,
(28:55):
proper disciplinary techniques.
Nurturing and being a presentparent.
How are you?
Champion for a lot of changes.
Cycle breaker.
If you are hearing my voicetoday is a day you accept the
fact you were created with adivine purpose to break all
(29:17):
unhealthy generational behaviorswithin your family.
It does not matter how old youare.
How you have always been howmany true children you may
already have.
It starts with you.
Do it for your family?
Your siblings, yourgrandchildren leave a family
legacy.
That's more valuable than money.
(29:39):
Start by acknowledging yourfamily truths and avoid denial
of the dysfunction.
Forgive yourself for being avictim of your negative
generational cycle.
Forgive their parents andgrandparents.
They were also unaware of thenegative behavior.
They simply did the best theycould.
What they learned.
Be open and willing to get aprofessional help with your
(30:00):
addictions or mental health oreating habits.
Make a list.
All the positive benefits fromoverall mental health, physical
health, emotional health, andfinancial stability.
By taking the initiative andbreaking the cycle.
Verbally express and have openconversations with your family
members about why it will behealthier for your family to end
(30:22):
the cycle.
You all can become cyclebreakers.
Each week.
I wrote an author based on alife-changing book operate.
Bill hooks.
A distinguished professor,social activist and author.
She passed away in December of2021.
I admired her work and wouldhave wished to meet her.
(30:43):
If I could have in her booktitled salvation, she discusses
the negative impact of apatriarchal home by saying this.
And our patriarchal home.
Love for our father always tooksecond place to our fear of him.
Growing up in a household whereour mother was willingly
subordinate to our father anduse Christian teaching to
(31:05):
justify female obedience tomales.
I witnessed firsthand the way inwhich male domination.
Like all forms of domination.
Make love impossible.
While one can care for someonedeeply.
And dominate them.
It is impossible to truly lovesomeone and dominate and abuse
them.
(31:26):
She goes on to quote a reminderfrom rabbi Harold Kushner.
Which states.
Love can be generated onlybetween people who see
themselves as equals.
Between people who can bemutually fulfilling for each
other.
When one commands and the otherobeys, there can be loyalty and
gratitude, but not love.
(31:47):
Then she goes on to quote areminder from cycle analyst,
Carl Jones, who states.
You can love someone and givethem the room and the right to
be themselves.
You can try to control them.
To make them do your will,whether for his own good or for
the enhancement of your ego, butyou cannot do both at the same
(32:07):
time.
When people become obsessed withabuse and power.
Uh, barrier is created, blockingour capacity to truly love one
another.
Rest in peace of bell hooks inher creative works.
The book salvation islife-changing and an amazing
read.
If you're open to healing fromtrauma.
Lack of nurture and lack of truefamily love.
(32:30):
I also read her book title outabout love.
It's also a must read.
You are now a champion forhealing and change.
Or quick recaps.
Of clarification andunderstanding.
Listen and listen.
Well, Rick had one.
Don't bring the child intopoverty.
Your future child does notdeserve to be born.
(32:51):
Poor, create a budget of yourfinances or do financial
literacy workshop a new year asquickly approaching do a vision
board.
Financial budget party with yourfriends and family.
Learn how to sacrifice and saveyour money.
By paying your savings account.
First, pay yourself first.
If you have a job, the money isthere.
(33:13):
Get out of debt.
Recap too.
It's never too late toaccomplish your goals.
Self-educate use your talents tobe successful and avoid people
in your life or family thatcrush your dreams, or try to
prevent you from chasing yourgoals and dreams.
Be educated, work hard tofollow, whatever it is you are
passionate about.
Don't fear, failure, and don'tfear letting go of family
(33:35):
attachments.
Don't be afraid of negativeresponse from your family
members.
We kept three.
He'll from all addictions.
Don't be afraid to getprofessional help.
Genuinely heal.
Don't temporarily masterproblems by unhealthy coping.
There are healthy ways to copefrom trauma that don't involve
drugs, alcohol cigarettes, andunhealthy food.
(33:56):
Make healthy lifestyle changesthat can potentially change your
genetic makeup for futuregenerations of your family
health, which will also createfamily wealth.
Remembering that heart disease,diabetes and cancer are leading
causes of death in the UnitedStates.
I find a great dietician.
Nutritionist or fitness trainerthat can get you on the right
track.
Not a diet, a lifestyle changefor the whole family.
(34:20):
Holistically recap for physicalabuse, lack of nurture and
abandonment are dysfunctionalpatterns of child raising that
we learned from plantations,physical abuse and dominance was
used to evoke fear anddehumanized slaves.
Your children are human.
This was negatively passed on toour grandparents and parents.
(34:41):
They were unconsciously aware ofthe dysfunction and harm that it
has caused us.
It has caused us to learnviolence has psychological
trauma and broken families.
Let's create positive changes toour bloodline.
Be liberated from the emotionalscars of abuse.
Promote true love value, andself-worth to our children and
(35:02):
create a home full of peace,love and liberation.
Elevate your mind.
Be open to health and wealth.
Trust the healing process,sometimes healing hurts, but
when completely healed youbecome a stronger.
Wiser and amazing human.
That was heavy.
(35:23):
Let's relax and breathe.
Breathe in love.
Breathe out.
Love.
Breathe in peace.
Breathe out peace.
(35:44):
Breathe in love.
Share love.
Now, share this podcast to helpsomeone you love heal from
negative generational cycles.
we are champions.
We win together.
Let's continue to connect.
(36:05):
I've done all the talking, butdon't forget.
I'm also a great listener.
So after listening to thissession, you can release,
respond, reflect, or open up andacknowledge your struggles.
Let's start the healing processtogether.
Record your voice.
Or record a video and D M at tomy Instagram at shy, the healer
(36:27):
that's shy.
S H Y T H E healer, H E a L E R.
All one word.
I will try to respond to allvoice recordings and videos
only, but if you want to writesomething.
Write a review our comment andshare this podcast.
Champions you can support byclicking the link to donate and
(36:51):
support in my podcast notesuntil then see you next.
Healthcare sunday
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