June 17, 2024 • 23 mins
What if you could transform your life just by mastering self-discipline? In this compelling episode of Mind Manners, we uncover the secrets to building extreme discipline, drawing on my personal experiences with martial arts. We'll explore the vital role of delayed gratification and impulse control in achieving success. Imagine the consequences of a lack of self-discipline—poor habits, financial woes, and lost focus—and take the first step toward a better future by starting small today.
Discover the fast track to mastering self-discipline and boosting productivity through discomfort training, strategic pressure, and accountability. We'll discuss how doing important tasks, especially when you don’t feel like it, can train your mind to follow your lead. Learn the power of setting deadlines, leveraging competition, and reaffirming your 'why'. Embrace discomfort and view failure as part of the growth process to build resilience and mental toughness.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Most of us struggle with self-discipline, and it
shows up in many ways.
Whether it's falling victim toprocrastination, poor eating
habits, skipping exercise,neglecting good hygiene,
struggling to sustain attention,indulging in emotional eating
or bad spending habits.
We often find ourselves wastingtime and acting on impulses.
(00:21):
Sounds like you?
Well, you're in good company,because we all struggle with it.
Discipline isn't somethingwe're born with, but here's the
good news it's a skill and, likeany skill, we can choose to get
better at it.
In today's session, I want totalk about how you can build
extreme discipline quickly andsimply.
(00:42):
If you listen and practice whatI tell you, you will
undoubtedly develop soliddiscipline.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
You're listening to Mind Manners, hosted by licensed
psychotherapist Albert Nguyen.
Albert helps his clientsovercome past trauma, change
their mindset and acceleratetheir personal and professional
development.
This podcast covers a widerange of mental health and
self-development topics, witheach episode offering an
actionable step towards a betteryou.
(01:10):
If you're on a wellness journey, keep listening.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
I've spent more than half my life training and
practicing martial arts.
We're talking more than20-some-odd years.
When you hear about someonedoing something that long, you
can imagine that, whatever thatthing is, that it's become an
integral and inherent part ofwho they are.
From my young teen years untilnow, martial arts have taught me
a lot about myself and how topractice principles and values.
(01:35):
Now what's interesting for meto reflect on is that I didn't
have anyone constantly pushingme or motivating me to keep
going.
Sure, there were people aroundwho supplemented my motivation,
but the driving force was aburning, intrinsic desire to get
better.
I actually wanted to get better, and getting better in martial
(01:55):
arts was connected to somethingdeeper than just getting my
black belt or becoming achampion at some point.
I spent years doing the sametechniques punches and kicks
over and over again hundreds oftimes a day.
Even when I got better, Icontinued to push myself further
.
Did it ever get boring?
Absolutely, it got reallyboring and tedious.
(02:17):
Did it ever get challenging?
Of course, anyone who has evergained any level of mastery and
developed a deep passion forsomething would understand how
lonely it can feel.
I spent many of my daystraining in solitude while
friends and family were outeating whatever they want and
having fun.
While I maintained discipline,there were plenty of days when I
(02:38):
didn't want to train a practice.
As I got older, there were evenmore reasons and excuses to
skip training, but I kept going.
And you know what?
I don't regret any of it.
Reflecting on these memories ofhow I lived in my teens, I am
in awe and wonder, with so muchappreciation and gratitude for
my younger self.
(02:59):
When I was younger, I didn'tfully understand it, but now
more than ever I realized that Ihad developed self-discipline
in a way that went beyond thenorm.
People often wrote me off asunique or different, but the
truth is I'm just like everyoneelse.
In fact, I would go as far asto say that I was below average
in both physicality andmentality.
(03:20):
I wasn't naturally talented atall.
I had to work really hard forevery skill.
I went on to performdemonstrations and competed at
some of the highest levels in myrespective field of martial
arts, from state to nationallevels.
I've also experienced someserious injuries and losses
through competition, but nomatter what, I never gave up.
(03:42):
I also never did the bareminimum.
I was able to thrive.
I tell the story, not to strokemy own ego, but to give you a
glimpse into my journey and tohelp you understand why I'm so
passionate about the topic ofdiscipline.
So what made me become sodisciplined?
I've had many opportunities tosupport others and reflect on
(04:05):
the nature of self-disciplinethrough my work as a therapist
over the years and today I wantto break down what I've learned
and share the insights that canhelp you develop solid
discipline in your own life.
When I was 15, I developed myown philosophy on how to
cultivate discipline that Ithink is still relevant today.
For me, it was all about doingsomething you know is good, even
(04:27):
when you don't feel like it.
I recognize that there weremany times when I didn't want to
do what was important simplybecause I didn't feel like it,
but I knew deep down that thesetasks were important to me, so I
couldn't let my emotions decidefor me.
So what's discipline?
Discipline is simply delayedgratification and impulse
(04:48):
control.
It's the ability to direct yourmotivation and attention,
deciding to do what you believeis right and good, regardless of
temptations and impulses, andstill move towards a goal, even
when it's challenging.
There are countless reasons whywe all struggle with being more
disciplined.
At the core of it, it's simplya skill many of us don't
practice.
When I was planning thissession, I realized I didn't
(05:11):
want to waste your timeexplaining all the other reasons
, because, honestly, thatdoesn't matter.
Those reasons haven't done youany good, have they?
They're most likely justexcuses valid or not.
They are disempowering.
So instead of telling you why,let's talk about what will
happen if you keep living as youare now without deliberately
(05:32):
developing self-discipline.
You will lack control over thedirection of your life.
You will struggle with healthproblems that are within your
control.
You will become easilydistracted.
You will have financialproblems.
You will have financialproblems.
You will struggle with clutterand possibly hoarding.
You will quit when things getdifficult or, worse, you will
(05:53):
avoid it completely, even ifthey're important to you.
You will complain more and moreabout life.
Can you add to this list?
Or, better yet, I want you toreally envision your life ahead
if you don't developself-discipline.
What would that life look likeSix months, one year, five years
from now?
Is that the life you reallywant?
(06:15):
Take a moment to think aboutthat as we dive into the first
lesson of self-discipline smallactions.
This is where your journeybegins, what you need to start
doing today is taking smallactions.
Just like you would withreading or writing.
I didn't become a black beltand start competing at the
highest level overnight.
No one gets good at anythingfrom day one without a strong
(06:36):
foundation of useful habitsthat's been refined through
trial and error.
Let's be real and use somecommon sense.
Everything starts with smallactions until you can adapt and
handle more.
Let's be real and use somecommon sense.
Everything starts with smallactions until you can adapt and
handle more.
It's all about building theability to delay gratification
so that you can stay within thediscomfort longer than last time
.
At its core, discipline is aboutdelaying gratification, and
(06:58):
this is a practice.
You can start by delayinggratification in simple, mundane
habits throughout the day.
For example, when you'rewaiting in line, practice being
patient just a bit longerInstead of eating so fast.
Slow down and savor your food.
These small changes in youreveryday autopilot behaviors
might seem minor, but theycompound over time.
(07:19):
Trust me, these small actionsadd up.
In the beginning, frequency ismore important than duration and
intensity of the practice.
This means I, rather you,practice more often than doing
that practice once in a whilefor a longer period of time with
more intensity.
Frequency allows you to movefrom intention to follow through
(07:40):
and reinforce the positivefeedback loop that builds
momentum.
Think about how school trains usto learn.
They give us homework andthings to practice and then,
once in a while, we have a majorexam or test.
This is the same approach youshould take with developing
self-discipline.
One thing I want to really etchinto your brain is that
discipline has to be a voluntaryand deliberate choice and
(08:04):
action.
So let me reiterate this Tobuild self-discipline, it has to
be voluntary.
Being forced into something isnot how you develop
self-discipline.
It will teach you to be relianton external forces.
You must hold yourselfaccountable and choose to take
these actions yourself.
(08:24):
Let's move on to another crucialaspect of developing
self-discipline discomforttraining.
I spent over four yearstreating individuals struggling
with OCD using a method calledexposure and response prevention
, or ERP therapy.
Let me tell you, ocd can bevery severe and debilitating,
and I saw firsthand how mucheffort it takes for these
(08:47):
individuals to get better.
The important thing here isthat ERP reflects what
discipline is all about.
Here's something I really wantyou to know Discipline is more
about positive action and lessabout positive thinking.
Engage in positive actions,even when your mind resists and
is still being negative.
Train your mind to follow yourlead.
(09:07):
Eventually, the negativethoughts will have less power
over you it won't go away but itwill certainly be less
convincing where you base yourdecisions off of them and you'd
pay much less attention to them.
Be mindful and take consistentactions that you know are good
for you.
A fast way to develop disciplineis by doing things that are
(09:27):
important, especially when youdon't feel like it.
This is something I observed inERP therapy, where individuals
learn to do just a little bitmore, especially in moments when
their minds make up excuses ortry to avoid a task.
When you catch those moments,it's vital that you do not let
that influencing thought off thehook quickly or easily.
Try to push yourself to do abit extra just to teach that
(09:51):
thought a lesson.
You are in control, not thoseautomatic thoughts trying to
keep you complacent, scared orhelpless.
As you practice these smallmicro activities throughout the
day, this compound effect willmake it easier to be disciplined
for bigger and more importanttasks.
Another key point is thatstress, when managed properly,
(10:13):
can actually enhance yourperformance by improving your
focus.
Think of discomfort training asa way to harness that stress
and use it to your advantage.
So the valuable lesson here iswhen our unhelpful thoughts make
excuses to avoid a task, doingit anyway especially if it's
important trains your mind toobey you.
(10:34):
By pushing a little bit more atthe end of a task, you
reinforce who's in control,letting your mind know who's
boss.
This technique isn't just forthose struggling with OCD.
It's useful for anyone tryingto build discipline.
Remember OCD.
It's useful for anyone tryingto build discipline.
Remember discipline at its coreis about delaying gratification
.
Now let's dive into anothercrucial element pressure and
(10:56):
urgency.
For all of you procrastinatorsout there, let me ask you
something why do you keepprocrastinating?
You know you do it and you evendescribe yourself as a
procrastinator, yet you continueto procrastinate.
Why, yeah, I'm really askingyou.
You know who you are.
Well, here's my simple answerto your why.
(11:17):
You do it?
Because it works.
And why does it work?
Because of the pressure from asense of urgency.
Procrastination is good becauseit pushes you to get things done
.
The important thing is how canwe be more deliberate with using
the motivation behindprocrastination?
We can leverage this tendencyto work harder by intentionally
(11:40):
developing pressure and a senseof urgency.
The simplest way is to setdeadlines.
Deadlines are important.
We need some pressure, but keepin mind that it's best if it's
a deadline for something that'simportant to you.
Another thing to think aboutwhen someone is relying on you,
whether it's your family,friends or colleagues, don't you
(12:01):
feel a greater sense ofresponsibility and urgency?
Developing urgency for yourselfrequires making the task as
important as possible andsetting benchmarks to measure
your progress.
When you don't feel like doingsomething, that's an opportunity
to reaffirm to yourself whyit's important.
Your belief system arounddiscipline matters.
(12:21):
So let me break it down Tocreate urgency and leverage
pressure.
To create urgency and leveragepressure, set clear deadlines.
Make sure these deadlines arefor tasks that truly matter to
you or, better yet, make thosetasks matter.
You are responsible to makewhat you do matter to you.
Engage in healthy competition,whether it's with others or
(12:46):
yourself.
Competition can drive you toperform better.
Find accountability.
Having someone rely on you orholding yourself accountable can
create a sense of urgency.
Reaffirm your why.
You hear this a lot from a lotof thought leaders, and the
reason is because it's important.
Look, you don't need a specificpassion to develop
self-discipline, but you need tohave a passion for being
(13:08):
self-discipline, but you need tohave a passion for being
self-disciplined andunderstanding why it's important
.
I see it as a moral obligation.
That is extremely importantbecause there are a lot of risks
and dangers to beingundisciplined not just for
yourself, as mentioned earlier,but for those around you, and
this is something I can do adeeper dive on and talk more
about in another session.
The point here is that you needto make it important to you,
(13:33):
constantly remind yourself whythe task is important to you,
especially when you feel likenot doing it or giving up
Reasons reap results.
Too many of us have a closetfull of excuses and we walk
around weaponizing these excusesagainst our better judgment, so
cultivate your why instead.
Making tasks urgent increasesoutput and productivity.
(13:56):
This is why procrastinationworks.
The pressure and urgencymotivate us to complete the task
by setting clear deadlines,engaging in competition and
reaffirming your reasons cleardeadlines, engaging in
competition and reaffirming yourreasons you can harness this
pressure you often feel duringthose last-minute pushes to
complete things more effectively.
I hope by now, at this point inthe session, that you are
(14:19):
already shifting yourperspective around discomfort
Because, believe it or not, howyou think about discomfort does
influence how you behave when itshows up in your life.
By seeing discomfort as a tool,you can create the biology of
courage and willpower to do thehard things.
When you start to perceivediscomfort as a necessary part
of growth rather than somethingto shy away from, you unlock a
(14:42):
powerful mindset shift.
This shift allows you to facechallenges head-on and build the
resilience needed forself-discipline.
Because, let's be honest, inlife, anything meaningful will
require a lot of courage andbravery, and one of those
reasons is because we will makemistakes and fail at times.
So this mindset teaches us toembrace failure.
(15:04):
I know it might soundcounterintuitive, but let me
explain.
Research shows thatexperiencing failures and
learning to overcome themsignificantly increases
perseverance and resilience.
So, with that said, try to failfaster to get more practice in
knowing that each failurebecomes a stepping stone.
(15:25):
When you embrace failure, youbegin to see it not as a setback
but as an essential part of thelearning process.
Every failure provides valuableinsights and teaches you what
doesn't work, helping you refineyour approach and develop the
wisdom to do things better.
Failure also builds characterand mental toughness.
It teaches you how to cope withsetbacks, manage disappointment
(15:53):
and maintain your motivationdespite challenges.
This is crucial for developingself-discipline because it helps
you stay committed to yourgoals even when things don't go
as planned.
To put it simply, the more youfail, the more opportunities you
have to learn and grow.
By accepting failure as anatural part of your journey,
you remove the fear and stigmaassociated with it, making it
easier to take risks and pushyour limits.
(16:14):
Keep in mind that you need toreflect on your failures and
actually try to learn from themand make more informed decisions
and educated hypotheses, withmore direct knowledge and data
from first-hand experience.
By consistently engaging intasks that push your boundaries,
you train your mind and body toadapt and grow.
(16:35):
This process of steppingoutside your comfort zone not
only strengthens your discipline, but also enhances your overall
capacity for handling life'schallenges.
As you progress, you have toensure that you limit your
excuses and complaints.
This is one thing I preach alot, because, after years of
therapy, I see how harmful thehabit of complaining and making
(16:56):
excuses can be.
If left unchecked, it buildshelplessness, resentment and a
negative mindset.
If you find yourself constantlycomplaining and making excuses,
it's time to take a hard lookat this behavior.
Complaining and making excusesrewires our brains for
negativity.
Stanford studies show thatcomplaining actually shrinks the
hippocampus, a critical brainarea affected by Alzheimer's
(17:19):
disease.
This means that chroniccomplaining doesn't just impact
your mood, it can also affectyour brain's health and
functionality.
To combat this, limit yourcomplaints to problems you're
actively solving.
Stop feeding your excuses.
They shape your perspective andpersonality, making it that
much harder to break free.
And here's something importantto understand Discipline doesn't
(17:42):
require for you to feelmotivated, but having motivation
is helpful.
It's vital, but not sufficient,especially if the motivation
comes from anywhere else otherthan yourself, because the best
motivation is self-motivation.
The best motivation comes fromwithin.
I'm not going to spend a lot oftime on this, but I do want to
(18:04):
tell you to try and ditch yourattachments to external rewards
like grades or money.
While these can reinforce yourinternal drive, they shouldn't
define it.
Relying too much on externalrewards can damage your drive
and self-worth.
Instead, focus on improving inareas that truly matter to you.
Either the task itself mattersand you want to master it, or
(18:27):
accomplishing the task yields anoutcome that matters to the
people and life you care about.
We've covered some essentiallessons in building
self-discipline, from takingsmall actions to embracing
discomfort and limiting excuses.
Now let's end this with ourfinal lesson Visualization.
(18:47):
Visualization is the skillpracticed by many elite athletes
and high achievers.
It's something I do a lot as amartial artist, where I practice
techniques and scenarios in myhead with great detail, so much
so that it feels like I canexecute them in real life.
Visualization is not just aboutdaydreaming.
It's about mentally rehearsingyour actions with precision and
(19:12):
intention.
Our minds naturally engage invisualization when it comes to
negative things, which oftenshow up as worries and anxieties
.
But what if we harness thispowerful tool for positive
actions?
Just like how worries cantrigger anxiety in our bodies
even when nothing is happeningin real life, we can trigger
confidence and power byvisualizing positive outcomes.
(19:34):
Visualization is a form ofimaginal exposure similar to
techniques used in clinicalhypnotherapy and the treatment
of OCD and PTSD.
In these therapies, individualsare guided to visualize and
mentally engage with specificscenarios, which helps
desensitize them to fears andanxieties.
This process can rewire thebrain's response to stressors,
(19:58):
making it an effective methodfor overcoming psychological
barriers.
Here's how you can practicevisualization See yourself
succeeding.
Picture yourself doingdifficult things successfully.
Be specific the more detail youinclude, the more real it will
feel.
The more you do this, thebetter you'll get.
(20:20):
Just as you would physicallypractice a skill, mentally
rehearse the steps and actionsyou need to take.
This can be incrediblyeffective in building confidence
and preparing you for real-lifechallenges.
By visualizing positive actionsand outcomes, you can evoke
feelings of confidence, powerand preparedness.
You can evoke feelings ofconfidence, power and
(20:42):
preparedness.
This mental practice can helpyou approach your goals with a
stronger, more positive state ofenergy.
Visualization is a powerfultechnique that allows you to
practice and refine your skillsmentally while activating your
body in ways that generate asense of empowerment, which can
significantly enhance yourperformance when you put them
into action.
In the end, discipline isessentially a sense of
empowerment, which cansignificantly enhance your
performance when you put theminto action.
In the end, discipline isessentially a way of life.
(21:05):
It's a trait that demandspractice.
If you're not living the lifeyou want, maybe it's time to
develop a bit more discipline.
It's about having the abilityto direct your motivation and
invest your time and energytowards what truly matters,
instead of wasting time on what.
Your time and energy towardswhat truly matters, instead of
wasting time on what doesn't andcompromising what's important.
(21:30):
We've come a long way today,exploring various aspects of
building self-discipline.
I'm not telling you to train atthe discipline level of Olympic
athletes or elite UFC fighters.
In all honesty, we all have achampion and fighter mentality
in all of us.
Just know you have a choice andexercising the freedom of these
choices requiresself-discipline.
Thank you for joining me onthis journey towards mastering
(21:54):
self-discipline.
If you found this episodehelpful, please take a moment to
review, like and share it withothers who might benefit.
Don't forget to subscribe soyou never miss an episode, and
if you'd like to learn moreabout self-discipline, reach out
to me and stay tuned forcourses and valuable resources.
Check out our other episodesfor more insights and strategies
(22:16):
on personal growth and mentalwell-being.
Your feedback and support meanthe world to me and it helps me
continue to put out relevant andvaluable information and
resources and allows us to reachmore people who can benefit
from these discussions.
Until next time, take care, bekind to yourself and remember
(22:36):
you have the power to shape yourlife with discipline and
intention.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Thanks for tuning in to Mind Manners with Albert
Nguyen.
We hope you found value in thisepisode.
If you'd like to work withAlbert one-on-one, visit
OptiMindCounselingcom to learnmore about his private practice.
Looking to join a community oflike-minded individuals, Search
Mind Manners Podcast Communityon Facebook and join our group
(23:02):
to connect with others on theirwellness journeys.
Finally, if you haven't alreadydone so, please write us a
five-star review on ApplePodcast and let us know you're
enjoying the show.
Most of us struggle with self-discipline, and it
shows up in many ways.
Whether it's falling victim toprocrastination, poor eating
habits, skipping exercise,neglecting good hygiene,
struggling to sustain attention,indulging in emotional eating
or bad spending habits.
We often find ourselves wastingtime and acting on impulses.
(00:21):
Sounds like you?
Well, you're in good company,because we all struggle with it.
Discipline isn't somethingwe're born with, but here's the
good news it's a skill and, likeany skill, we can choose to get
better at it.
In today's session, I want totalk about how you can build
extreme discipline quickly andsimply.
(00:42):
If you listen and practice whatI tell you, you will
undoubtedly develop soliddiscipline.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
You're listening to Mind Manners, hosted by licensed
psychotherapist Albert Nguyen.
Albert helps his clientsovercome past trauma, change
their mindset and acceleratetheir personal and professional
development.
This podcast covers a widerange of mental health and
self-development topics, witheach episode offering an
actionable step towards a betteryou.
(01:10):
If you're on a wellness journey, keep listening.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
I've spent more than half my life training and
practicing martial arts.
We're talking more than20-some-odd years.
When you hear about someonedoing something that long, you
can imagine that, whatever thatthing is, that it's become an
integral and inherent part ofwho they are.
From my young teen years untilnow, martial arts have taught me
a lot about myself and how topractice principles and values.
(01:35):
Now what's interesting for meto reflect on is that I didn't
have anyone constantly pushingme or motivating me to keep
going.
Sure, there were people aroundwho supplemented my motivation,
but the driving force was aburning, intrinsic desire to get
better.
I actually wanted to get better, and getting better in martial
(01:55):
arts was connected to somethingdeeper than just getting my
black belt or becoming achampion at some point.
I spent years doing the sametechniques punches and kicks
over and over again hundreds oftimes a day.
Even when I got better, Icontinued to push myself further
.
Did it ever get boring?
Absolutely, it got reallyboring and tedious.
(02:17):
Did it ever get challenging?
Of course, anyone who has evergained any level of mastery and
developed a deep passion forsomething would understand how
lonely it can feel.
I spent many of my daystraining in solitude while
friends and family were outeating whatever they want and
having fun.
While I maintained discipline,there were plenty of days when I
(02:38):
didn't want to train a practice.
As I got older, there were evenmore reasons and excuses to
skip training, but I kept going.
And you know what?
I don't regret any of it.
Reflecting on these memories ofhow I lived in my teens, I am
in awe and wonder, with so muchappreciation and gratitude for
my younger self.
(02:59):
When I was younger, I didn'tfully understand it, but now
more than ever I realized that Ihad developed self-discipline
in a way that went beyond thenorm.
People often wrote me off asunique or different, but the
truth is I'm just like everyoneelse.
In fact, I would go as far asto say that I was below average
in both physicality andmentality.
(03:20):
I wasn't naturally talented atall.
I had to work really hard forevery skill.
I went on to performdemonstrations and competed at
some of the highest levels in myrespective field of martial
arts, from state to nationallevels.
I've also experienced someserious injuries and losses
through competition, but nomatter what, I never gave up.
(03:42):
I also never did the bareminimum.
I was able to thrive.
I tell the story, not to strokemy own ego, but to give you a
glimpse into my journey and tohelp you understand why I'm so
passionate about the topic ofdiscipline.
So what made me become sodisciplined?
I've had many opportunities tosupport others and reflect on
(04:05):
the nature of self-disciplinethrough my work as a therapist
over the years and today I wantto break down what I've learned
and share the insights that canhelp you develop solid
discipline in your own life.
When I was 15, I developed myown philosophy on how to
cultivate discipline that Ithink is still relevant today.
For me, it was all about doingsomething you know is good, even
(04:27):
when you don't feel like it.
I recognize that there weremany times when I didn't want to
do what was important simplybecause I didn't feel like it,
but I knew deep down that thesetasks were important to me, so I
couldn't let my emotions decidefor me.
So what's discipline?
Discipline is simply delayedgratification and impulse
(04:48):
control.
It's the ability to direct yourmotivation and attention,
deciding to do what you believeis right and good, regardless of
temptations and impulses, andstill move towards a goal, even
when it's challenging.
There are countless reasons whywe all struggle with being more
disciplined.
At the core of it, it's simplya skill many of us don't
practice.
When I was planning thissession, I realized I didn't
(05:11):
want to waste your timeexplaining all the other reasons
, because, honestly, thatdoesn't matter.
Those reasons haven't done youany good, have they?
They're most likely justexcuses valid or not.
They are disempowering.
So instead of telling you why,let's talk about what will
happen if you keep living as youare now without deliberately
(05:32):
developing self-discipline.
You will lack control over thedirection of your life.
You will struggle with healthproblems that are within your
control.
You will become easilydistracted.
You will have financialproblems.
You will have financialproblems.
You will struggle with clutterand possibly hoarding.
You will quit when things getdifficult or, worse, you will
(05:53):
avoid it completely, even ifthey're important to you.
You will complain more and moreabout life.
Can you add to this list?
Or, better yet, I want you toreally envision your life ahead
if you don't developself-discipline.
What would that life look likeSix months, one year, five years
from now?
Is that the life you reallywant?
(06:15):
Take a moment to think aboutthat as we dive into the first
lesson of self-discipline smallactions.
This is where your journeybegins, what you need to start
doing today is taking smallactions.
Just like you would withreading or writing.
I didn't become a black beltand start competing at the
highest level overnight.
No one gets good at anythingfrom day one without a strong
(06:36):
foundation of useful habitsthat's been refined through
trial and error.
Let's be real and use somecommon sense.
Everything starts with smallactions until you can adapt and
handle more.
Let's be real and use somecommon sense.
Everything starts with smallactions until you can adapt and
handle more.
It's all about building theability to delay gratification
so that you can stay within thediscomfort longer than last time
.
At its core, discipline is aboutdelaying gratification, and
(06:58):
this is a practice.
You can start by delayinggratification in simple, mundane
habits throughout the day.
For example, when you'rewaiting in line, practice being
patient just a bit longerInstead of eating so fast.
Slow down and savor your food.
These small changes in youreveryday autopilot behaviors
might seem minor, but theycompound over time.
(07:19):
Trust me, these small actionsadd up.
In the beginning, frequency ismore important than duration and
intensity of the practice.
This means I, rather you,practice more often than doing
that practice once in a whilefor a longer period of time with
more intensity.
Frequency allows you to movefrom intention to follow through
(07:40):
and reinforce the positivefeedback loop that builds
momentum.
Think about how school trains usto learn.
They give us homework andthings to practice and then,
once in a while, we have a majorexam or test.
This is the same approach youshould take with developing
self-discipline.
One thing I want to really etchinto your brain is that
discipline has to be a voluntaryand deliberate choice and
(08:04):
action.
So let me reiterate this Tobuild self-discipline, it has to
be voluntary.
Being forced into something isnot how you develop
self-discipline.
It will teach you to be relianton external forces.
You must hold yourselfaccountable and choose to take
these actions yourself.
(08:24):
Let's move on to another crucialaspect of developing
self-discipline discomforttraining.
I spent over four yearstreating individuals struggling
with OCD using a method calledexposure and response prevention
, or ERP therapy.
Let me tell you, ocd can bevery severe and debilitating,
and I saw firsthand how mucheffort it takes for these
(08:47):
individuals to get better.
The important thing here isthat ERP reflects what
discipline is all about.
Here's something I really wantyou to know Discipline is more
about positive action and lessabout positive thinking.
Engage in positive actions,even when your mind resists and
is still being negative.
Train your mind to follow yourlead.
(09:07):
Eventually, the negativethoughts will have less power
over you it won't go away but itwill certainly be less
convincing where you base yourdecisions off of them and you'd
pay much less attention to them.
Be mindful and take consistentactions that you know are good
for you.
A fast way to develop disciplineis by doing things that are
(09:27):
important, especially when youdon't feel like it.
This is something I observed inERP therapy, where individuals
learn to do just a little bitmore, especially in moments when
their minds make up excuses ortry to avoid a task.
When you catch those moments,it's vital that you do not let
that influencing thought off thehook quickly or easily.
Try to push yourself to do abit extra just to teach that
(09:51):
thought a lesson.
You are in control, not thoseautomatic thoughts trying to
keep you complacent, scared orhelpless.
As you practice these smallmicro activities throughout the
day, this compound effect willmake it easier to be disciplined
for bigger and more importanttasks.
Another key point is thatstress, when managed properly,
(10:13):
can actually enhance yourperformance by improving your
focus.
Think of discomfort training asa way to harness that stress
and use it to your advantage.
So the valuable lesson here iswhen our unhelpful thoughts make
excuses to avoid a task, doingit anyway especially if it's
important trains your mind toobey you.
(10:34):
By pushing a little bit more atthe end of a task, you
reinforce who's in control,letting your mind know who's
boss.
This technique isn't just forthose struggling with OCD.
It's useful for anyone tryingto build discipline.
Remember OCD.
It's useful for anyone tryingto build discipline.
Remember discipline at its coreis about delaying gratification
.
Now let's dive into anothercrucial element pressure and
(10:56):
urgency.
For all of you procrastinatorsout there, let me ask you
something why do you keepprocrastinating?
You know you do it and you evendescribe yourself as a
procrastinator, yet you continueto procrastinate.
Why, yeah, I'm really askingyou.
You know who you are.
Well, here's my simple answerto your why.
(11:17):
You do it?
Because it works.
And why does it work?
Because of the pressure from asense of urgency.
Procrastination is good becauseit pushes you to get things done
.
The important thing is how canwe be more deliberate with using
the motivation behindprocrastination?
We can leverage this tendencyto work harder by intentionally
(11:40):
developing pressure and a senseof urgency.
The simplest way is to setdeadlines.
Deadlines are important.
We need some pressure, but keepin mind that it's best if it's
a deadline for something that'simportant to you.
Another thing to think aboutwhen someone is relying on you,
whether it's your family,friends or colleagues, don't you
(12:01):
feel a greater sense ofresponsibility and urgency?
Developing urgency for yourselfrequires making the task as
important as possible andsetting benchmarks to measure
your progress.
When you don't feel like doingsomething, that's an opportunity
to reaffirm to yourself whyit's important.
Your belief system arounddiscipline matters.
(12:21):
So let me break it down Tocreate urgency and leverage
pressure.
To create urgency and leveragepressure, set clear deadlines.
Make sure these deadlines arefor tasks that truly matter to
you or, better yet, make thosetasks matter.
You are responsible to makewhat you do matter to you.
Engage in healthy competition,whether it's with others or
(12:46):
yourself.
Competition can drive you toperform better.
Find accountability.
Having someone rely on you orholding yourself accountable can
create a sense of urgency.
Reaffirm your why.
You hear this a lot from a lotof thought leaders, and the
reason is because it's important.
Look, you don't need a specificpassion to develop
self-discipline, but you need tohave a passion for being
(13:08):
self-discipline, but you need tohave a passion for being
self-disciplined andunderstanding why it's important
.
I see it as a moral obligation.
That is extremely importantbecause there are a lot of risks
and dangers to beingundisciplined not just for
yourself, as mentioned earlier,but for those around you, and
this is something I can do adeeper dive on and talk more
about in another session.
The point here is that you needto make it important to you,
(13:33):
constantly remind yourself whythe task is important to you,
especially when you feel likenot doing it or giving up
Reasons reap results.
Too many of us have a closetfull of excuses and we walk
around weaponizing these excusesagainst our better judgment, so
cultivate your why instead.
Making tasks urgent increasesoutput and productivity.
(13:56):
This is why procrastinationworks.
The pressure and urgencymotivate us to complete the task
by setting clear deadlines,engaging in competition and
reaffirming your reasons cleardeadlines, engaging in
competition and reaffirming yourreasons you can harness this
pressure you often feel duringthose last-minute pushes to
complete things more effectively.
I hope by now, at this point inthe session, that you are
(14:19):
already shifting yourperspective around discomfort
Because, believe it or not, howyou think about discomfort does
influence how you behave when itshows up in your life.
By seeing discomfort as a tool,you can create the biology of
courage and willpower to do thehard things.
When you start to perceivediscomfort as a necessary part
of growth rather than somethingto shy away from, you unlock a
(14:42):
powerful mindset shift.
This shift allows you to facechallenges head-on and build the
resilience needed forself-discipline.
Because, let's be honest, inlife, anything meaningful will
require a lot of courage andbravery, and one of those
reasons is because we will makemistakes and fail at times.
So this mindset teaches us toembrace failure.
(15:04):
I know it might soundcounterintuitive, but let me
explain.
Research shows thatexperiencing failures and
learning to overcome themsignificantly increases
perseverance and resilience.
So, with that said, try to failfaster to get more practice in
knowing that each failurebecomes a stepping stone.
(15:25):
When you embrace failure, youbegin to see it not as a setback
but as an essential part of thelearning process.
Every failure provides valuableinsights and teaches you what
doesn't work, helping you refineyour approach and develop the
wisdom to do things better.
Failure also builds characterand mental toughness.
It teaches you how to cope withsetbacks, manage disappointment
(15:53):
and maintain your motivationdespite challenges.
This is crucial for developingself-discipline because it helps
you stay committed to yourgoals even when things don't go
as planned.
To put it simply, the more youfail, the more opportunities you
have to learn and grow.
By accepting failure as anatural part of your journey,
you remove the fear and stigmaassociated with it, making it
easier to take risks and pushyour limits.
(16:14):
Keep in mind that you need toreflect on your failures and
actually try to learn from themand make more informed decisions
and educated hypotheses, withmore direct knowledge and data
from first-hand experience.
By consistently engaging intasks that push your boundaries,
you train your mind and body toadapt and grow.
(16:35):
This process of steppingoutside your comfort zone not
only strengthens your discipline, but also enhances your overall
capacity for handling life'schallenges.
As you progress, you have toensure that you limit your
excuses and complaints.
This is one thing I preach alot, because, after years of
therapy, I see how harmful thehabit of complaining and making
(16:56):
excuses can be.
If left unchecked, it buildshelplessness, resentment and a
negative mindset.
If you find yourself constantlycomplaining and making excuses,
it's time to take a hard lookat this behavior.
Complaining and making excusesrewires our brains for
negativity.
Stanford studies show thatcomplaining actually shrinks the
hippocampus, a critical brainarea affected by Alzheimer's
(17:19):
disease.
This means that chroniccomplaining doesn't just impact
your mood, it can also affectyour brain's health and
functionality.
To combat this, limit yourcomplaints to problems you're
actively solving.
Stop feeding your excuses.
They shape your perspective andpersonality, making it that
much harder to break free.
And here's something importantto understand Discipline doesn't
(17:42):
require for you to feelmotivated, but having motivation
is helpful.
It's vital, but not sufficient,especially if the motivation
comes from anywhere else otherthan yourself, because the best
motivation is self-motivation.
The best motivation comes fromwithin.
I'm not going to spend a lot oftime on this, but I do want to
(18:04):
tell you to try and ditch yourattachments to external rewards
like grades or money.
While these can reinforce yourinternal drive, they shouldn't
define it.
Relying too much on externalrewards can damage your drive
and self-worth.
Instead, focus on improving inareas that truly matter to you.
Either the task itself mattersand you want to master it, or
(18:27):
accomplishing the task yields anoutcome that matters to the
people and life you care about.
We've covered some essentiallessons in building
self-discipline, from takingsmall actions to embracing
discomfort and limiting excuses.
Now let's end this with ourfinal lesson Visualization.
(18:47):
Visualization is the skillpracticed by many elite athletes
and high achievers.
It's something I do a lot as amartial artist, where I practice
techniques and scenarios in myhead with great detail, so much
so that it feels like I canexecute them in real life.
Visualization is not just aboutdaydreaming.
It's about mentally rehearsingyour actions with precision and
(19:12):
intention.
Our minds naturally engage invisualization when it comes to
negative things, which oftenshow up as worries and anxieties
.
But what if we harness thispowerful tool for positive
actions?
Just like how worries cantrigger anxiety in our bodies
even when nothing is happeningin real life, we can trigger
confidence and power byvisualizing positive outcomes.
(19:34):
Visualization is a form ofimaginal exposure similar to
techniques used in clinicalhypnotherapy and the treatment
of OCD and PTSD.
In these therapies, individualsare guided to visualize and
mentally engage with specificscenarios, which helps
desensitize them to fears andanxieties.
This process can rewire thebrain's response to stressors,
(19:58):
making it an effective methodfor overcoming psychological
barriers.
Here's how you can practicevisualization See yourself
succeeding.
Picture yourself doingdifficult things successfully.
Be specific the more detail youinclude, the more real it will
feel.
The more you do this, thebetter you'll get.
(20:20):
Just as you would physicallypractice a skill, mentally
rehearse the steps and actionsyou need to take.
This can be incrediblyeffective in building confidence
and preparing you for real-lifechallenges.
By visualizing positive actionsand outcomes, you can evoke
feelings of confidence, powerand preparedness.
You can evoke feelings ofconfidence, power and
(20:42):
preparedness.
This mental practice can helpyou approach your goals with a
stronger, more positive state ofenergy.
Visualization is a powerfultechnique that allows you to
practice and refine your skillsmentally while activating your
body in ways that generate asense of empowerment, which can
significantly enhance yourperformance when you put them
into action.
In the end, discipline isessentially a sense of
empowerment, which cansignificantly enhance your
performance when you put theminto action.
In the end, discipline isessentially a way of life.
(21:05):
It's a trait that demandspractice.
If you're not living the lifeyou want, maybe it's time to
develop a bit more discipline.
It's about having the abilityto direct your motivation and
invest your time and energytowards what truly matters,
instead of wasting time on what.
Your time and energy towardswhat truly matters, instead of
wasting time on what doesn't andcompromising what's important.
(21:30):
We've come a long way today,exploring various aspects of
building self-discipline.
I'm not telling you to train atthe discipline level of Olympic
athletes or elite UFC fighters.
In all honesty, we all have achampion and fighter mentality
in all of us.
Just know you have a choice andexercising the freedom of these
choices requiresself-discipline.
Thank you for joining me onthis journey towards mastering
(21:54):
self-discipline.
If you found this episodehelpful, please take a moment to
review, like and share it withothers who might benefit.
Don't forget to subscribe soyou never miss an episode, and
if you'd like to learn moreabout self-discipline, reach out
to me and stay tuned forcourses and valuable resources.
Check out our other episodesfor more insights and strategies
(22:16):
on personal growth and mentalwell-being.
Your feedback and support meanthe world to me and it helps me
continue to put out relevant andvaluable information and
resources and allows us to reachmore people who can benefit
from these discussions.
Until next time, take care, bekind to yourself and remember
(22:36):
you have the power to shape yourlife with discipline and
intention.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Thanks for tuning in to Mind Manners with Albert
Nguyen.
We hope you found value in thisepisode.
If you'd like to work withAlbert one-on-one, visit
OptiMindCounselingcom to learnmore about his private practice.
Looking to join a community oflike-minded individuals, Search
Mind Manners Podcast Communityon Facebook and join our group
(23:02):
to connect with others on theirwellness journeys.
Finally, if you haven't alreadydone so, please write us a
five-star review on ApplePodcast and let us know you're
enjoying the show.
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