People Pleasing: The Loss of Identity

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The habit of people pleasing often comes with a psychological power struggle between internal identity crisis and a shaky core sense of self.  Somewhere along the way you got the message that your self-worth is tied to external validation - a job, a grade, a car, a shoe, a group of people - all of which adds to the incentive of pleasing others. 

At the core of it all – we all have a deep desire and want to be loved and accepted – it’s a basic human need. But when our identity and sense of self-worth are heavily reliant on external factors, we can lose our identity in the process - as we move farther and farther away from what we actually know of ourselves.  We subconsciously condition ourselves to care so much about the opinion of others that we lose our voice in all that noise.

Remember that quote by Dr. Seuss – “Be who you are and say what you feel, BECAUSE those who mind DON’T matter and THOSE who MATTER don’t MIND.”

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