March 30, 2024 • 23 mins
Navigating the journey from past trauma to present healing is a path many of us tread. I'm Albert Nguyen, and I'm here to guide you through the complex psychological landscapes shaped by childhood experiences. In our discussions, we explore the notion of the inner child that resides in us all—a reservoir of emotions and memories yearning for recognition and nurturing. The turbulence caused by early traumas has the potential to disturb the serenity of our adult lives. Yet, through our conversations, we delve into strategies for calming these disturbances, offering comfort to our inner child, and transforming painful memories into sources of strength and self-understanding.
The theme of compassion shines like a guiding light, especially when confronting the hurt caused by those we hold dear. It's about transcending self-blame and discovering freedom in forgiveness. We talk about the courage it takes to repair trust, the importance of establishing boundaries, and the steps toward reclaiming a sense of agency and joy in our lives. This episode is an open invitation to all who seek peace in introspection or solidarity in the community. Together, we cultivate a profound connection with ourselves and one another, embarking on a journey filled with hope and guidance toward healing. Tune in to uncover the empowering narrative of your own story and join a supportive community dedicated to mutual healing and growth.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Today we're diving deep into a topic that impacts
each and every one of us,whether we realize it or not.
As I'm working with a lot ofadults these days, I'm noticing
a lot more adult children, aterm that describes individuals
whose childhood experiences ofuncertainty deeply affect their
adult life, and this reminded methat there is an inner child in
(00:22):
all of us as adults.
So let us explore thelandscapes of trauma and the
concept of the inner child, thatpart of us that holds the key
to our deepest emotions andmemories.
So, whether you're on thefreeway, taking a break at work
or cozying up at home, I inviteyou to take this time for
yourself, listen, reflect andperhaps even discover new ways
(00:46):
to nurture your inner child andheal from past traumas.
Grab your favorite drink, finda comfortable spot and let's get
started.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
You're listening to Mind Manners, hosted by licensed
psychotherapist Albert Nguyen.
Albert helps his clientsovercome past trauma, change
their mindset and acceleratetheir personal and professional
development.
This podcast covers a widerange of mental health and
self-development topics, witheach episode offering an
actionable step towards a betteryou.
(01:16):
If you're on a wellness journey, keep listening.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Now, if you're tuning in for the first time, let me
extend a warm welcome.
Now, if you're tuning in for thefirst time, let me extend a
warm welcome.
This podcast is our safe spaceto discuss the intricacies of
mental and emotional health, toshare stories of resilience and
to uncover the paths that leadus toward healing and wholeness.
In today's session, we'repeeling back the layers to truly
understand trauma's profoundimpact on our lives.
(01:42):
We're not just talking aboutthe events themselves, but the
lingering presence they holdover our adult lives, shaping
our thoughts, emotions andreactions in ways we might not
even be aware of.
But here's the thing it's notall about the challenges.
It's also about the hope, thestrategies and the support
available to us as we journeytowards healing.
(02:03):
It's about acknowledging ourinner child, understanding their
pain and the support availableto us as we journey towards
healing.
It's about acknowledging ourinner child, understanding their
pain and learning how to offerthe love and care they've always
needed.
In our journey through life, wecome across moments that deeply
challenge us, moments that canleave imprints on our souls.
These moments, or rather theseexperiences, are what we call
trauma.
It's a word that carries somuch weight, yet it's deeply
(02:26):
personal and unique to each ofus.
As a therapist, I've seenfirsthand how trauma can be like
a shadow silently shaping howwe view ourselves and the world
around us.
It's not merely a memory or anevent that happened in the past.
It's an emotional imprint thatdeeply influences our thoughts,
feelings and reactions.
Let me paint you a picture.
(02:47):
Imagine standing beside aserene lake.
Its surface so calm and smooth,it mirrors the sky above.
This lake is like a mine, atpeace, undisturbed, but then,
unexpectedly, a stone is throwninto the center.
The impact sends ripples acrossthe water, disturbing its once
(03:07):
peaceful existence.
This stone, this suddendisruption, symbolizes trauma,
just as the stone's impactcreates ripples across the lake.
Trauma disrupts our internalpeace, sending waves through our
emotional and psychologicalwell-being.
The aftermath of trauma isn'tjust about that initial moment
of impact.
(03:28):
It's about the ripples thatcome after, the emotional
reactions, the psychologicalturmoil and the shifts in how we
perceive our sense of safety,self-worth and outlook on the
future.
And these reactions, they cancatch us off guard, triggered by
something as simple as a word,a sound or even a scent, pulling
us back into the depths of ourpast experiences and reminding
(03:51):
us of the emotional imprints wecarry within.
But here's something I'velearned Not all experiences of
trauma are the same.
What overwhelms one personmight not affect another in the
same way.
This variance is what makestrauma so complex and why
understanding its nuances iscrucial for healing.
Each person's trauma comes withwhat I call a trauma network,
(04:13):
and each network is as unique asa person's fingerprint In our
time together.
Today, we'll explore not justthe nature of trauma, but also
the paths toward healing thatI've seen work.
The nature of trauma, but alsothe paths toward healing that
I've seen work.
Healing is a journey, one thatdoesn't erase the past but
allows us to live more fully inthe present and look toward the
(04:34):
future with hope.
Trauma may be part of our story, but it doesn't have to be the
whole narrative.
We have more to write.
The story isn't over, and Iwant you all to hear this.
We need to break the silence.
Together, we can explorestrategies that provide a beacon
of light in the darkness,guiding us toward a place of
safety and peace.
At the heart of our discussiontoday is the concept of the
(04:56):
inner child.
This is the part of us thatholds all our childhood memories
and emotions, both joyful andpainful.
It's this inner child thatoften bears the brunt of our
traumas, carrying both joyfuland painful.
It's this inner child thatoften bears the brunt of our
traumas, carrying them into ouradult lives.
When we talk about healingtrauma, we're really talking
about acknowledging andnurturing this inner child.
It's about understanding thatthe fears, insecurities and
(05:18):
patterns we experience today areoften echoes of our past.
Healing is this beautiful,beautiful, messy process of
acknowledging our inner child'spresence.
It's saying hey, I see you, Ihear what you've been through
and it's okay.
It's understanding that ourfears and insecurities today
aren't just coming out ofnowhere.
By nurturing our inner child,we're not trying to rewrite our
(05:41):
history.
Instead, we're learning tocoexist with it in a way that's
kinder, more compassionate andmaybe even more empowering.
It's about transforming ourrelationship with those parts of
our past that hurt, findingways to comfort and reassure
that little one inside thatthey're safe now and that they
are loved, no conditionsattached.
(06:02):
Imagine the relief in knowingthat you're not just a sum of
your past experiences but acomplex, resilient individual
capable of growth and healing.
That's the heart of the journey.
It's not about erasing thescars, but about learning to
wear them with a sense ofunderstanding and peace.
After all, healing is reallyabout allowing our inner child
(06:26):
to finally put down that heavybackpack and let go of all that
weight and run free, maybe forthe first time in a long time.
I know we all wish and hope thatthere was some kind of magic
pill or secret method to recoverand heal from our traumas, but
it doesn't work that way andhonestly I think we deserve more
(06:47):
than some cookie-cutting method.
Navigating the path to healingfrom trauma is as unique as each
of our stories.
It's not about following apredetermined map.
It's more like creating our own, using a mix of tools and
techniques that resonate with uspersonally.
Whether it's exploring thedepths of our inner child,
(07:07):
engaging in cognitive behavioraltherapy to reshape our thought
patterns, or weaving a safetynet of supportive people around
us, healing is an individualjourney.
Among these strategies, empathystands out as a beacon of light
Empathy for ourselves, allowingus to be gentle in understanding
of our own pain, and empathyfrom others, providing us with a
sense of being seen andunderstood.
(07:28):
Validation, this simple yetprofound act of recognizing
someone's feelings as genuineand important, can make all the
difference.
It's like someone reaching outin a dark room to say I see you,
I hear the tremble in yourvoice and I'm here to tell you
that what you're feeling isimportant.
This empathetic connection actsas a bridge between isolation
(07:49):
and community, betweenself-doubt and self-acceptance.
It's about creating a spacewhere our feelings aren't just
acknowledged, but are embracedas part of our human experience.
Imagine the relief andliberation that come from
knowing your emotions are not anoverreaction, but a valid
response to your experiences.
Empathy and validation are morethan therapeutic tools.
(08:12):
They're the essence of humanconnection, offering us a mirror
in which our true selvesunderstanding and a hand to hold
, and it's in these connectionsthat we find one of the most
(08:38):
healing forces available to us.
Before we move on, I want totalk about compassion.
It's important, so I want toshare a quick story.
Compassion is all about beingfair and kind to everyone,
including ourselves, which canbe hard, especially if you've
been hurt before.
It might surprise you to hearthat I've worked with people
who've made some pretty bigmistakes, like sex offenders or
(09:00):
those who've been involved inviolence for quite a while.
My main focus is helping peoplewho've been through tough times
as kids, dealing with all sortsof bad situations, but I also
believe in helping those who'vecaused harm.
So why would I do that,especially when most people
would rather keep their distance.
Well, hear me out.
(09:20):
When I was in my 20s, exploringlife and learning as much as I
could, I really got intodifferent spiritual and
religious teachings.
That's when I realized thatmaking a real difference means
understanding everyone'sexperiences.
To have compassion, that meantunderstanding human nature, the
good and the evil.
(09:41):
I truly believe we cannotappreciate the depths of
goodness without accepting andunderstanding evil.
Much in the same way, we cannotunderstand what happiness is
without sadness, light withoutdark.
And when it comes tocultivating compassion for human
welfare, I believe I need to beunbiased to an extent so that I
(10:01):
can fully understand the fullspectrum of human psychology.
Has it helped as a therapist?
It has helped tremendously,allowing me to not be easily
shocked at all with what peopletalk about, and it helps me
provide a very safe space foreveryone to explore the true
depths of themselves, all thegoodness in them and even the
(10:23):
dark shadows of their minds.
Not everyone's ready to take onthat challenge, and that's okay
.
But I think to reallyappreciate the good things in
life, we have to be willing tolook at the hard stuff too.
By accepting everyone's story,we open the door to healing life
, we have to be willing to lookat the hard stuff too.
By accepting everyone's story,we open the door to healing in
ways we might not have thoughtpossible.
Compassion is like a superpower.
It really helps us heal.
Whether you practice compassiontowards yourself or others, the
(10:47):
compassion comes from withinyou.
So whenever you feel andpractice it, you are compassion.
In my work I see a lot of peoplewho are emotionally stuck.
They're stuck blamingthemselves or pointing fingers
at others, and over time it'slike they're trapped in a maze
with no way out.
The thing is, blaming ourselvesor things we can't control just
(11:07):
makes us feel powerless andtrapped in a cycle of negative
emotions and behaviors that canreally hurt our well-being.
It's like being caught in aloop that keeps reinforcing all
those bad feelings aboutourselves and, before we know it
, our whole perspective on lifegets twisted by this blame game.
If we don't break free, thispattern just grows and starts to
(11:29):
affect everything in our lives,if it hasn't already.
So what do we do?
We need to let go, not forget,but we need to let go.
And how Well?
We can't talk about healingwithout talking about
forgiveness.
Forgiveness is a crucial step inall forms of healing emotional
(11:49):
wounds, not for the sake ofthose who may have caused us
harm, but for ourselves.
It's about processing our grief, confronting our emotions and
ultimately finding a way to letgo of the pain that holds us
back.
Forgiveness is about navigatingthrough a storm of emotions,
confronting the hurt head-on andthen somehow finding a way to
(12:11):
move beyond with it.
This journey isn't about givinga free pass to those actions
that wounded us.
Instead, it's about looseningthe tight grip those memories
have on our hearts.
Think of forgiveness as a formof self-liberation.
It's acknowledging that holdingonto resentment and anger is
like carrying a heavy anchor.
It drags us down, keeping ustethered to a past we can't
(12:34):
change.
By choosing to forgive, we'reessentially lifting that anchor,
allowing ourselves to drifttowards a future where we're no
longer defined by our past hurts.
But let's be really clear,because a lot of people are
resistant to the idea offorgiveness when I initially
bring it up in therapy.
Forgiveness is not about erasingthe past or pretending the hurt
(12:55):
never happened.
Not at all.
It's about acknowledging ourpain, giving ourselves
permission to feel it and thengently setting it aside.
It's a way to reclaim ournarrative, to say, yes, this
happened to me, but it's not allof me.
I'm choosing to move forward,carrying my lessons, not my
(13:16):
scars.
This step towards forgivenessdoesn't happen overnight.
It's a process, often a slowone, filled with moments of
doubt and resistance, and that'sokay, it's all part of the
process.
It's a testament to ourstrength and our ability to grow
from our experiences.
And by embracing forgiveness weopen ourselves up to new
(13:39):
possibilities, new joys and thefreedom to live fully unburdened
by the past.
It's in this space offorgiveness that we find our
true selves, ready to step intoa future bright with promise.
So remember, forgivenessdoesn't mean forgetting or
condoning what happened.
It means reclaiming your powerfrom those past experiences,
(14:00):
allowing you to move forwardwith your life.
This journey is tough and,honestly, no one should have to
go at it alone.
Yet often the source of ourdeepest wounds stems from those
closest to us a parent, partneror someone we trusted implicitly
.
This breach of trust is theultimate betrayal, shaking the
very foundations of our sense ofsafety and trust in others, and
(14:24):
sometimes this means we have toseriously evaluate when to
salvage, set clear boundaries orcut ties completely with the
people who we can no longertrust and move forward with a
stronger and more refinedunderstanding of what trust
means to you, so that futurehealthy relationships can foster
.
It's within this context thatfinding a supportive community
(14:46):
becomes not just helpful butessential In therapy.
I've been privileged to witnessthe courage it takes for
individuals to confront traumasinflicted by loved ones.
Opening up about suchexperiences requires immense
bravery, particularly becausethe trauma is entangled with
complex emotions of love,loyalty and betrayal.
(15:09):
Decides to share these deeplypersonal experiences, they're
not just seeking to heal fromthe events themselves, but also
from the profound sense ofbetrayal that accompanied them.
The harsh reality is thatdisclosing trauma, especially
when it involves someone close,is fraught with risks.
The fear of not being believedor, worse, being blamed, can
(15:32):
exacerbate the sense ofisolation and pain.
That's why the process offinding and choosing a
supportive tribe, one thatoffers unconditional acceptance
and understanding, is crucial.
This network of supportrepresents a safe harbor, a
place where fears of judgmentare alleviated and the journey
of rebuilding trust cancautiously begin.
(15:52):
Learning to feel safe again inthe wake of such betrayal is
undeniably challenging.
It involves navigating alabyrinth of emotions, from
anger and grief to longing forconnection and love.
This is where the power of acompassionate community truly
shines, surrounding yourselfwith individuals who validate
your experiences, who offerempathy rather than judgment,
(16:15):
and who support youunconditionally, can be
transformative.
It's within the safety of thischosen family that we can
gradually start to dismantle thewalls we've built around our
hearts.
Rebuilding trust, especiallyafter it's been shattered by
those we love, is a gradualprocess.
It requires patience,self-compassion and the gentle
guidance of those committed towalking this path with us.
(16:38):
Yes, the betrayal by a loved oneadds a complex layer to the
trauma, making the healingprocess all the more intricate.
Yet it's also in this contextthat the strength and support of
a nurturing tribe becomeinvaluable.
This community doesn't justoffer a path to feeling safe
again.
It embodies the very essence ofhope and resilience, reminding
(17:00):
us that, despite the ultimatebetrayals, regeneration of trust
and safety is possible with theright support.
Often, the path to healing isilluminated by the support of
professionals or support groups,a choice that's not only
acceptable but advisable.
These groups often operateunder a framework of ethics and
principles, offering a microcosmof the broader healing journey,
(17:23):
designed to lessen your worriesand mitigate your pain.
It takes a village to raise achild, the saying goes Well.
It also takes a community toheal one, finding your tribe,
those who can walk with youthrough the darkest times is an
essential part of the healing.
One last thing I do want tomention, though, is that getting
through trauma isn't just aboutsurviving.
(17:45):
It's about what comes after thejourney of self-discovery that
often follows.
It's in these moments, in theaftermath of our struggles,
where we're given a uniqueopportunity and this is
something I secretly hope andwant for all of my patients,
whether they've experiencedserious trauma or not and that's
being of service to others andmaking a real impact.
(18:06):
I'm convinced that this shiftfrom focusing on me to embracing
we is natural progression inhealing and maturity.
It shows us we're part ofsomething much larger.
I see it as one of the mostempowering and healing actions
we can take for ourselves.
We can take the pain, thehardships we've endured and turn
them into something incrediblypowerful.
(18:27):
It's about transforming oursuffering into a source of
strength, especially when wechannel it into acts of service
for others.
There's something profoundlyhealing about the act of giving.
Sometimes we find ourselvessearching for miracles, for
signs that everything will turnout okay.
But what if I told you that inthese moments, you have the
potential to be the miracle thatyou've always needed, and
(18:50):
possibly the miracle thatsomeone else is looking for.
This realization isn't justabout healing ourselves, but
about forging connections, aboutbuilding a community bound by
shared experiences and acollective will to overcome.
By transforming our pain into aforce for good, we are not just
healing, we are contributing toa larger tapestry of recovery.
(19:11):
It's about finding our place inthe world, about discovering a
sense of self-worth and purposethat might have felt lost in the
depths of our trauma.
And let me tell you, the act ofstepping out and becoming a
beacon of hope and resiliencefor others is one of the most
powerful paths to recovery.
You will quickly see that youare not alone and you are more
than worthy and valuable.
(19:32):
I've seen it time and time againin my own life, my colleagues
and my patients the incrediblehealing that takes place when
someone decides to make theirjourney about more than just
their own recovery.
It's about standing together,hand in hand, in a mission that
transcends individual pain.
This, my friends, is where thedeepest healing can take place.
(19:53):
It's a path I've walkedalongside many, and one I
wholeheartedly advocate for aswe all navigate our way toward
healing, when we choose toharness and transform our pain
into the strength needed to riseand shoulder the monumental
task of contributing to themission, to be part of the
solution to end suffering.
We're driven by a deep,intrinsic motivation that's
(20:15):
unshakable.
Inside, you might be just oneperson, but in essence you stand
for many, driven by a powerfulforce within that no one can
take from you.
Take a moment to take that inNow.
As we conclude today's session,I want to leave you with a
message of hope.
Healing is within reach.
This journey, though filledwith challenges, is also ripe
(20:36):
with opportunities for deeppersonal growth and
transformative healing.
Your inner child, the core partof you that has weathered
life's storms, deservesrecognition, love and nurturing
towards healing.
You're not meant to navigatethis path in isolation.
Your story matters and you haveto take a stand for your story.
(20:56):
If family or friends can't beyour support system, I
understand.
I get it.
Sometimes, even with the bestintentions, they might not be
equipped to provide the supportyou need and, frankly and
unfortunately, some of them maybe part of your trauma.
That's why, as we've discussed,there are professionals and
supportive communities dedicatedto helping people just like you
(21:17):
, and I hugely advocate that,when it comes to trauma, getting
professional help is perhapsthe best first step you can take
.
Don't hesitate to reach out.
At OptiMind Counseling, we'recommitted to offering support
through workshops, supportgroups and personalized therapy.
Together, we'll tap into theresilience and strength within
(21:38):
you.
Courage is not always a grandgesture.
Sometimes courage is the quietvoice at the end of the day
saying I will try again.
So don't give up hope.
Thank you for spending thistime with me on Mind Manners for
this important topic.
Healing starts withunderstanding and is propelled
by taking steps forward.
Until we meet again, cherishyourself and your inner child.
(22:01):
You both are deserving of peaceand joy.
If today's conversationresonated with you, consider
sharing it with someone in needof these words.
For additional resources andsupport, please visit our
website atwwwoptimindcounselingcom, or
join us again for more sessionsthat aim to enlighten, inspire
(22:23):
and empower.
I'm Albert, and this was MindManners.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Embrace courage, kindness and the ever-evolving
journey that makes you youThanks for tuning in to Mind
Manners with Albert Nguyen.
We hope you found value in thisepisode.
If you'd like to work withAlbert one-on-one, visit
OptiMindCounselingcom to learnmore about his private practice.
Looking to join a community oflike-minded individuals, search
(22:47):
Mind Manners Podcast Communityon Facebook and join our group
to connect with others on theirwellness journeys.
Finally, if you haven't alreadydone so, please write us a
five-star review on ApplePodcast and let us know you're
enjoying the show.
Today we're diving deep into a topic that impacts
each and every one of us,whether we realize it or not.
As I'm working with a lot ofadults these days, I'm noticing
a lot more adult children, aterm that describes individuals
whose childhood experiences ofuncertainty deeply affect their
adult life, and this reminded methat there is an inner child in
(00:22):
all of us as adults.
So let us explore thelandscapes of trauma and the
concept of the inner child, thatpart of us that holds the key
to our deepest emotions andmemories.
So, whether you're on thefreeway, taking a break at work
or cozying up at home, I inviteyou to take this time for
yourself, listen, reflect andperhaps even discover new ways
(00:46):
to nurture your inner child andheal from past traumas.
Grab your favorite drink, finda comfortable spot and let's get
started.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
You're listening to Mind Manners, hosted by licensed
psychotherapist Albert Nguyen.
Albert helps his clientsovercome past trauma, change
their mindset and acceleratetheir personal and professional
development.
This podcast covers a widerange of mental health and
self-development topics, witheach episode offering an
actionable step towards a betteryou.
(01:16):
If you're on a wellness journey, keep listening.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Now, if you're tuning in for the first time, let me
extend a warm welcome.
Now, if you're tuning in for thefirst time, let me extend a
warm welcome.
This podcast is our safe spaceto discuss the intricacies of
mental and emotional health, toshare stories of resilience and
to uncover the paths that leadus toward healing and wholeness.
In today's session, we'repeeling back the layers to truly
understand trauma's profoundimpact on our lives.
(01:42):
We're not just talking aboutthe events themselves, but the
lingering presence they holdover our adult lives, shaping
our thoughts, emotions andreactions in ways we might not
even be aware of.
But here's the thing it's notall about the challenges.
It's also about the hope, thestrategies and the support
available to us as we journeytowards healing.
(02:03):
It's about acknowledging ourinner child, understanding their
pain and the support availableto us as we journey towards
healing.
It's about acknowledging ourinner child, understanding their
pain and learning how to offerthe love and care they've always
needed.
In our journey through life, wecome across moments that deeply
challenge us, moments that canleave imprints on our souls.
These moments, or rather theseexperiences, are what we call
trauma.
It's a word that carries somuch weight, yet it's deeply
(02:26):
personal and unique to each ofus.
As a therapist, I've seenfirsthand how trauma can be like
a shadow silently shaping howwe view ourselves and the world
around us.
It's not merely a memory or anevent that happened in the past.
It's an emotional imprint thatdeeply influences our thoughts,
feelings and reactions.
Let me paint you a picture.
(02:47):
Imagine standing beside aserene lake.
Its surface so calm and smooth,it mirrors the sky above.
This lake is like a mine, atpeace, undisturbed, but then,
unexpectedly, a stone is throwninto the center.
The impact sends ripples acrossthe water, disturbing its once
(03:07):
peaceful existence.
This stone, this suddendisruption, symbolizes trauma,
just as the stone's impactcreates ripples across the lake.
Trauma disrupts our internalpeace, sending waves through our
emotional and psychologicalwell-being.
The aftermath of trauma isn'tjust about that initial moment
of impact.
(03:28):
It's about the ripples thatcome after, the emotional
reactions, the psychologicalturmoil and the shifts in how we
perceive our sense of safety,self-worth and outlook on the
future.
And these reactions, they cancatch us off guard, triggered by
something as simple as a word,a sound or even a scent, pulling
us back into the depths of ourpast experiences and reminding
(03:51):
us of the emotional imprints wecarry within.
But here's something I'velearned Not all experiences of
trauma are the same.
What overwhelms one personmight not affect another in the
same way.
This variance is what makestrauma so complex and why
understanding its nuances iscrucial for healing.
Each person's trauma comes withwhat I call a trauma network,
(04:13):
and each network is as unique asa person's fingerprint In our
time together.
Today, we'll explore not justthe nature of trauma, but also
the paths toward healing thatI've seen work.
The nature of trauma, but alsothe paths toward healing that
I've seen work.
Healing is a journey, one thatdoesn't erase the past but
allows us to live more fully inthe present and look toward the
(04:34):
future with hope.
Trauma may be part of our story, but it doesn't have to be the
whole narrative.
We have more to write.
The story isn't over, and Iwant you all to hear this.
We need to break the silence.
Together, we can explorestrategies that provide a beacon
of light in the darkness,guiding us toward a place of
safety and peace.
At the heart of our discussiontoday is the concept of the
(04:56):
inner child.
This is the part of us thatholds all our childhood memories
and emotions, both joyful andpainful.
It's this inner child thatoften bears the brunt of our
traumas, carrying both joyfuland painful.
It's this inner child thatoften bears the brunt of our
traumas, carrying them into ouradult lives.
When we talk about healingtrauma, we're really talking
about acknowledging andnurturing this inner child.
It's about understanding thatthe fears, insecurities and
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patterns we experience today areoften echoes of our past.
Healing is this beautiful,beautiful, messy process of
acknowledging our inner child'spresence.
It's saying hey, I see you, Ihear what you've been through
and it's okay.
It's understanding that ourfears and insecurities today
aren't just coming out ofnowhere.
By nurturing our inner child,we're not trying to rewrite our
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history.
Instead, we're learning tocoexist with it in a way that's
kinder, more compassionate andmaybe even more empowering.
It's about transforming ourrelationship with those parts of
our past that hurt, findingways to comfort and reassure
that little one inside thatthey're safe now and that they
are loved, no conditionsattached.
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Imagine the relief in knowingthat you're not just a sum of
your past experiences but acomplex, resilient individual
capable of growth and healing.
That's the heart of the journey.
It's not about erasing thescars, but about learning to
wear them with a sense ofunderstanding and peace.
After all, healing is reallyabout allowing our inner child
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to finally put down that heavybackpack and let go of all that
weight and run free, maybe forthe first time in a long time.
I know we all wish and hope thatthere was some kind of magic
pill or secret method to recoverand heal from our traumas, but
it doesn't work that way andhonestly I think we deserve more
(06:47):
than some cookie-cutting method.
Navigating the path to healingfrom trauma is as unique as each
of our stories.
It's not about following apredetermined map.
It's more like creating our own, using a mix of tools and
techniques that resonate with uspersonally.
Whether it's exploring thedepths of our inner child,
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engaging in cognitive behavioraltherapy to reshape our thought
patterns, or weaving a safetynet of supportive people around
us, healing is an individualjourney.
Among these strategies, empathystands out as a beacon of light
Empathy for ourselves, allowingus to be gentle in understanding
of our own pain, and empathyfrom others, providing us with a
sense of being seen andunderstood.
(07:28):
Validation, this simple yetprofound act of recognizing
someone's feelings as genuineand important, can make all the
difference.
It's like someone reaching outin a dark room to say I see you,
I hear the tremble in yourvoice and I'm here to tell you
that what you're feeling isimportant.
This empathetic connection actsas a bridge between isolation
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and community, betweenself-doubt and self-acceptance.
It's about creating a spacewhere our feelings aren't just
acknowledged, but are embracedas part of our human experience.
Imagine the relief andliberation that come from
knowing your emotions are not anoverreaction, but a valid
response to your experiences.
Empathy and validation are morethan therapeutic tools.
(08:12):
They're the essence of humanconnection, offering us a mirror
in which our true selvesunderstanding and a hand to hold
, and it's in these connectionsthat we find one of the most
(08:38):
healing forces available to us.
Before we move on, I want totalk about compassion.
It's important, so I want toshare a quick story.
Compassion is all about beingfair and kind to everyone,
including ourselves, which canbe hard, especially if you've
been hurt before.
It might surprise you to hearthat I've worked with people
who've made some pretty bigmistakes, like sex offenders or
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those who've been involved inviolence for quite a while.
My main focus is helping peoplewho've been through tough times
as kids, dealing with all sortsof bad situations, but I also
believe in helping those who'vecaused harm.
So why would I do that,especially when most people
would rather keep their distance.
Well, hear me out.
(09:20):
When I was in my 20s, exploringlife and learning as much as I
could, I really got intodifferent spiritual and
religious teachings.
That's when I realized thatmaking a real difference means
understanding everyone'sexperiences.
To have compassion, that meantunderstanding human nature, the
good and the evil.
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I truly believe we cannotappreciate the depths of
goodness without accepting andunderstanding evil.
Much in the same way, we cannotunderstand what happiness is
without sadness, light withoutdark.
And when it comes tocultivating compassion for human
welfare, I believe I need to beunbiased to an extent so that I
(10:01):
can fully understand the fullspectrum of human psychology.
Has it helped as a therapist?
It has helped tremendously,allowing me to not be easily
shocked at all with what peopletalk about, and it helps me
provide a very safe space foreveryone to explore the true
depths of themselves, all thegoodness in them and even the
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dark shadows of their minds.
Not everyone's ready to take onthat challenge, and that's okay
.
But I think to reallyappreciate the good things in
life, we have to be willing tolook at the hard stuff too.
By accepting everyone's story,we open the door to healing life
, we have to be willing to lookat the hard stuff too.
By accepting everyone's story,we open the door to healing in
ways we might not have thoughtpossible.
Compassion is like a superpower.
It really helps us heal.
Whether you practice compassiontowards yourself or others, the
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compassion comes from withinyou.
So whenever you feel andpractice it, you are compassion.
In my work I see a lot of peoplewho are emotionally stuck.
They're stuck blamingthemselves or pointing fingers
at others, and over time it'slike they're trapped in a maze
with no way out.
The thing is, blaming ourselvesor things we can't control just
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makes us feel powerless andtrapped in a cycle of negative
emotions and behaviors that canreally hurt our well-being.
It's like being caught in aloop that keeps reinforcing all
those bad feelings aboutourselves and, before we know it
, our whole perspective on lifegets twisted by this blame game.
If we don't break free, thispattern just grows and starts to
(11:29):
affect everything in our lives,if it hasn't already.
So what do we do?
We need to let go, not forget,but we need to let go.
And how Well?
We can't talk about healingwithout talking about
forgiveness.
Forgiveness is a crucial step inall forms of healing emotional
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wounds, not for the sake ofthose who may have caused us
harm, but for ourselves.
It's about processing our grief, confronting our emotions and
ultimately finding a way to letgo of the pain that holds us
back.
Forgiveness is about navigatingthrough a storm of emotions,
confronting the hurt head-on andthen somehow finding a way to
(12:11):
move beyond with it.
This journey isn't about givinga free pass to those actions
that wounded us.
Instead, it's about looseningthe tight grip those memories
have on our hearts.
Think of forgiveness as a formof self-liberation.
It's acknowledging that holdingonto resentment and anger is
like carrying a heavy anchor.
It drags us down, keeping ustethered to a past we can't
(12:34):
change.
By choosing to forgive, we'reessentially lifting that anchor,
allowing ourselves to drifttowards a future where we're no
longer defined by our past hurts.
But let's be really clear,because a lot of people are
resistant to the idea offorgiveness when I initially
bring it up in therapy.
Forgiveness is not about erasingthe past or pretending the hurt
(12:55):
never happened.
Not at all.
It's about acknowledging ourpain, giving ourselves
permission to feel it and thengently setting it aside.
It's a way to reclaim ournarrative, to say, yes, this
happened to me, but it's not allof me.
I'm choosing to move forward,carrying my lessons, not my
(13:16):
scars.
This step towards forgivenessdoesn't happen overnight.
It's a process, often a slowone, filled with moments of
doubt and resistance, and that'sokay, it's all part of the
process.
It's a testament to ourstrength and our ability to grow
from our experiences.
And by embracing forgiveness weopen ourselves up to new
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possibilities, new joys and thefreedom to live fully unburdened
by the past.
It's in this space offorgiveness that we find our
true selves, ready to step intoa future bright with promise.
So remember, forgivenessdoesn't mean forgetting or
condoning what happened.
It means reclaiming your powerfrom those past experiences,
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allowing you to move forwardwith your life.
This journey is tough and,honestly, no one should have to
go at it alone.
Yet often the source of ourdeepest wounds stems from those
closest to us a parent, partneror someone we trusted implicitly
.
This breach of trust is theultimate betrayal, shaking the
very foundations of our sense ofsafety and trust in others, and
(14:24):
sometimes this means we have toseriously evaluate when to
salvage, set clear boundaries orcut ties completely with the
people who we can no longertrust and move forward with a
stronger and more refinedunderstanding of what trust
means to you, so that futurehealthy relationships can foster
.
It's within this context thatfinding a supportive community
(14:46):
becomes not just helpful butessential In therapy.
I've been privileged to witnessthe courage it takes for
individuals to confront traumasinflicted by loved ones.
Opening up about suchexperiences requires immense
bravery, particularly becausethe trauma is entangled with
complex emotions of love,loyalty and betrayal.
(15:09):
Decides to share these deeplypersonal experiences, they're
not just seeking to heal fromthe events themselves, but also
from the profound sense ofbetrayal that accompanied them.
The harsh reality is thatdisclosing trauma, especially
when it involves someone close,is fraught with risks.
The fear of not being believedor, worse, being blamed, can
(15:32):
exacerbate the sense ofisolation and pain.
That's why the process offinding and choosing a
supportive tribe, one thatoffers unconditional acceptance
and understanding, is crucial.
This network of supportrepresents a safe harbor, a
place where fears of judgmentare alleviated and the journey
of rebuilding trust cancautiously begin.
(15:52):
Learning to feel safe again inthe wake of such betrayal is
undeniably challenging.
It involves navigating alabyrinth of emotions, from
anger and grief to longing forconnection and love.
This is where the power of acompassionate community truly
shines, surrounding yourselfwith individuals who validate
your experiences, who offerempathy rather than judgment,
(16:15):
and who support youunconditionally, can be
transformative.
It's within the safety of thischosen family that we can
gradually start to dismantle thewalls we've built around our
hearts.
Rebuilding trust, especiallyafter it's been shattered by
those we love, is a gradualprocess.
It requires patience,self-compassion and the gentle
guidance of those committed towalking this path with us.
(16:38):
Yes, the betrayal by a loved oneadds a complex layer to the
trauma, making the healingprocess all the more intricate.
Yet it's also in this contextthat the strength and support of
a nurturing tribe becomeinvaluable.
This community doesn't justoffer a path to feeling safe
again.
It embodies the very essence ofhope and resilience, reminding
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us that, despite the ultimatebetrayals, regeneration of trust
and safety is possible with theright support.
Often, the path to healing isilluminated by the support of
professionals or support groups,a choice that's not only
acceptable but advisable.
These groups often operateunder a framework of ethics and
principles, offering a microcosmof the broader healing journey,
(17:23):
designed to lessen your worriesand mitigate your pain.
It takes a village to raise achild, the saying goes Well.
It also takes a community toheal one, finding your tribe,
those who can walk with youthrough the darkest times is an
essential part of the healing.
One last thing I do want tomention, though, is that getting
through trauma isn't just aboutsurviving.
(17:45):
It's about what comes after thejourney of self-discovery that
often follows.
It's in these moments, in theaftermath of our struggles,
where we're given a uniqueopportunity and this is
something I secretly hope andwant for all of my patients,
whether they've experiencedserious trauma or not and that's
being of service to others andmaking a real impact.
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I'm convinced that this shiftfrom focusing on me to embracing
we is natural progression inhealing and maturity.
It shows us we're part ofsomething much larger.
I see it as one of the mostempowering and healing actions
we can take for ourselves.
We can take the pain, thehardships we've endured and turn
them into something incrediblypowerful.
(18:27):
It's about transforming oursuffering into a source of
strength, especially when wechannel it into acts of service
for others.
There's something profoundlyhealing about the act of giving.
Sometimes we find ourselvessearching for miracles, for
signs that everything will turnout okay.
But what if I told you that inthese moments, you have the
potential to be the miracle thatyou've always needed, and
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possibly the miracle thatsomeone else is looking for.
This realization isn't justabout healing ourselves, but
about forging connections, aboutbuilding a community bound by
shared experiences and acollective will to overcome.
By transforming our pain into aforce for good, we are not just
healing, we are contributing toa larger tapestry of recovery.
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It's about finding our place inthe world, about discovering a
sense of self-worth and purposethat might have felt lost in the
depths of our trauma.
And let me tell you, the act ofstepping out and becoming a
beacon of hope and resiliencefor others is one of the most
powerful paths to recovery.
You will quickly see that youare not alone and you are more
than worthy and valuable.
(19:32):
I've seen it time and time againin my own life, my colleagues
and my patients the incrediblehealing that takes place when
someone decides to make theirjourney about more than just
their own recovery.
It's about standing together,hand in hand, in a mission that
transcends individual pain.
This, my friends, is where thedeepest healing can take place.
(19:53):
It's a path I've walkedalongside many, and one I
wholeheartedly advocate for aswe all navigate our way toward
healing, when we choose toharness and transform our pain
into the strength needed to riseand shoulder the monumental
task of contributing to themission, to be part of the
solution to end suffering.
We're driven by a deep,intrinsic motivation that's
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unshakable.
Inside, you might be just oneperson, but in essence you stand
for many, driven by a powerfulforce within that no one can
take from you.
Take a moment to take that inNow.
As we conclude today's session,I want to leave you with a
message of hope.
Healing is within reach.
This journey, though filledwith challenges, is also ripe
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with opportunities for deeppersonal growth and
transformative healing.
Your inner child, the core partof you that has weathered
life's storms, deservesrecognition, love and nurturing
towards healing.
You're not meant to navigatethis path in isolation.
Your story matters and you haveto take a stand for your story.
(20:56):
If family or friends can't beyour support system, I
understand.
I get it.
Sometimes, even with the bestintentions, they might not be
equipped to provide the supportyou need and, frankly and
unfortunately, some of them maybe part of your trauma.
That's why, as we've discussed,there are professionals and
supportive communities dedicatedto helping people just like you
(21:17):
, and I hugely advocate that,when it comes to trauma, getting
professional help is perhapsthe best first step you can take
.
Don't hesitate to reach out.
At OptiMind Counseling, we'recommitted to offering support
through workshops, supportgroups and personalized therapy.
Together, we'll tap into theresilience and strength within
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you.
Courage is not always a grandgesture.
Sometimes courage is the quietvoice at the end of the day
saying I will try again.
So don't give up hope.
Thank you for spending thistime with me on Mind Manners for
this important topic.
Healing starts withunderstanding and is propelled
by taking steps forward.
Until we meet again, cherishyourself and your inner child.
(22:01):
You both are deserving of peaceand joy.
If today's conversationresonated with you, consider
sharing it with someone in needof these words.
For additional resources andsupport, please visit our
website atwwwoptimindcounselingcom, or
join us again for more sessionsthat aim to enlighten, inspire
(22:23):
and empower.
I'm Albert, and this was MindManners.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Embrace courage, kindness and the ever-evolving
journey that makes you youThanks for tuning in to Mind
Manners with Albert Nguyen.
We hope you found value in thisepisode.
If you'd like to work withAlbert one-on-one, visit
OptiMindCounselingcom to learnmore about his private practice.
Looking to join a community oflike-minded individuals, search
(22:47):
Mind Manners Podcast Communityon Facebook and join our group
to connect with others on theirwellness journeys.
Finally, if you haven't alreadydone so, please write us a
five-star review on ApplePodcast and let us know you're
enjoying the show.
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