May 12, 2024 • 31 mins
Confronting the shadows of self-doubt and discrimination has been a personal battle, yet one that I've learned can pave the way to empowerment. My journey, marked by these struggles, serves as the backdrop for an honest conversation about turning insecurities into strengths. This Mental Health Awareness Month, we get real about the roots of our insecurities and how embracing them can be our stepping stone to resilience and self-awareness. Inspired by the likes of David Goggins, we tackle the enduring impact of childhood criticisms and societal pressures, and the transformative potential of facing adversity with courage.
Ever woken up feeling like an imposter, despite your glaring successes? This episode delves into the minds of insecure overachievers, unmasking the internal critics that drive us to question our worth. Walking this path means dismantling the psychological barriers we've erected over years, finding authenticity in our self-expression, and seizing growth opportunities with both hands. We're not just talking about leaning into our strengths; we're talking about confronting fears and fortifying our weaknesses, guided by the remarkable example set by David Goggins.
Our final thoughts revolve around the commitment to mastering what once made us feel small - our insecurities. Honesty, confronting doubts, and extending compassion not only to others but also to ourselves become our guiding principles. The Cherokee tale of the two wolves serves as a poignant metaphor for the daily choices that forge our destiny. I remind listeners that support is available and extend an invitation to continue this vital dialogue within our Mind Manners Podcast Community on Facebook. Embrace this episode as a call to rediscover your potential and turn it into your superpower.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
As a therapist, I've seen firsthand how unchecked and
neglected insecurities candisrupt every aspect of our
lives, from our relationships toour careers.
They can prompt actions that inhindsight might seem unwise and
even destructive.
Trust me, I've been down thatroad more times than I can count
.
No one is immune to this.
(00:21):
We all have blind spots.
One is immune to this.
We all have blind spots.
But we don't have to acceptthis as a fixed state.
A bit of self-awareness goes along way.
What if I told you that thevery things you often view as
your greatest weaknesses couldactually be your greatest asset,
and that it could also be yourmost profound source of strength
(00:41):
?
It's a fascinating paradox.
True strength isn't alwaysabout capitalizing on what we're
naturally good at.
Instead, it's about facingimmense hardships, transforming
our perceived weaknesses andcultivating and optimizing our
resilience and self-awareness.
Take David Goggins, for instance.
He's this extraordinaryindividual.
(01:03):
He's a major influence and rolemodel in the realm of
self-discipline and mentaltoughness, but like most
extraordinary people, he is ashuman as he can be.
His story is all about absolutevulnerability and immense
struggle.
His journey exemplifies thistransformation I am talking
about.
His story is not just inspiringthis transformation I am
(01:27):
talking about His story is notjust inspiring, but a powerful
reminder that our greatestchallenges can lead to our most
significant growth.
Let's triple down on ourso-called weaknesses.
Let's listen to the signals andsigns that they give us and
allow that to become the pathtowards the greatest version of
ourselves.
Let's go deep on this one intoday's session, where we'll
talk about how we can harnessour insecurities and turn them
(01:48):
into our superpowers.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
You're listening to Mind Manners, hosted by licensed
psychotherapist Albert Nguyen.
Albert helps his clientsovercome past trauma, change
their mindset and acceleratetheir personal and professional
development.
This podcast covers a widerange of mental health and
self-development topics, witheach episode offering an
actionable step towards a betteryou.
(02:11):
If you're on a wellness journey, keep listening.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Welcome back to Mind Manners, my fellow travelers.
As we step into May, let'sremember it's Mental Health
Awareness Month, a perfect timeto really carve out time to
refocus on our well-being anddeepen our understanding of
mental health.
It's a time for deeperintrospection, learning and
extracting from our experiencesand others.
(02:36):
So, in honor of this month andthe topic of insecurity, let me
share a personal story that Ithink can further illustrate
today's main takeaway, andhopefully it's a story you may
be able to relate or empathizewith.
So, reflecting back to mychildhood, I remember a time
when life was an endlessadventure.
I was that kid who fearlesslyraised his hand in class without
(03:00):
hesitation, who savored thosemoments of exploring every nook
and cranny of my imagination.
I played without worrying or acare in the world, even when my
mom would dress me up in waysthat defied typical gender norms
.
I just didn't care.
I didn't care because I didn'tsee any problems with them.
But then it happened.
Life happened.
(03:21):
Third grade hit me and with itcame a very harsh introduction
to discrimination, criticism andjudgments from fellow peers,
even school teachers and, sadly,some of my family members.
It all became consistent enoughthat I could no longer ignore
it.
The judgments shined a negativespotlight, pairing it with
negative connotations that beganto define who I was in various
(03:43):
aspects of me.
Suddenly, things like my accent, not quite polished in English,
became a point of ridicule.
Even small details such as myeyes, my hair, my weight
attributes I hadn't thoughttwice about were mocked and tied
to stereotypes I didn't evenreally understand.
Accusations and false rumorsabout my sexuality began to
(04:06):
surface, based on nothing morethan innocent childhood
behaviors.
These comments, these crueljabs, taught me things about
myself I hadn't known, things Istarted to resent and felt
ashamed of.
This attack of criticism pushedme into silence.
I subconsciously developedselective mutism as a means of
(04:27):
survival and self-preservation,and I even began retreating from
my heritage, my roots andanything that made me stand out.
Essentially, I began hiding.
I dimmed my own light, withdrewfrom class participation and
shrank as much as possible toavoid any attention.
For years, this was my reality.
So let's unpack this together.
(04:50):
As you've heard from my story,insecurity often starts early in
life.
Childhood experiences, whetherit's criticism from peers or
authority figures, or evenbullying, they all plant seeds
of doubt that can grow intopervasive negative self-talk and
intrusive thoughts.
Insecurity doesn't just appearout of nowhere.
It's often the result of acomplex interplay of experiences
(05:14):
and messages we receive as wegrow.
For instance, being singled outfor certain personal traits or
appearance as a child teaches usto scrutinize ourselves through
the critical eyes of others,leading to a cycle of self-doubt
, reduced self-worth and afragile self-esteem that is
reliant on the approval ofothers.
The scary thing is thatcriticism and bullying can also
(05:37):
be very subtle, that we don'teven realize how influential
they can become.
But these early experiences canprofoundly impact how we
interact with the world.
When we learn to see ourselvesas somehow less than due to
childhood criticism or bullying,we carry that insecurity into
every classroom, every workplaceand in every relationship.
(05:59):
It influences how we presentourselves, how much we speak up
or not speak up, and even how weallow ourselves to be treated
by others.
But insecurity is not just aboutwhat happened to us as kids.
It also comes from ongoingcomparisons to others,
experiences of trauma, living inuncertain circumstances and
(06:20):
facing discrimination and facingdiscrimination.
Each of these factors canexacerbate feelings of
inadequacy and fear that wedon't measure up to some
standard or expectations set byour families, our cultures or
our societies.
What's critical to understandis that these sources of
insecurity are not isolated.
They often overlap, creating acomplex web that can trap us in
(06:45):
a cycle of negative feedbackloops, like a little hamster in
a wheel, going nowhere butexhausting ourselves.
For example, when someone froma marginalized community enters
a predominantly exclusiveprofessional environment, they
might feel intense pressure tooverperform due to societal
stereotypes or discrimination,intensifying feelings of
(07:06):
insecurity.
I believe it's even harder todaywith the ever-growing social
media engine machines and howthese modern factors can
significantly intensify thesefeelings of insecurity.
Over the years I've spokenextensively about how mindless
use of technology and screentime can negatively influence
(07:26):
our mental health, both in mypractice with patients and
publicly, particularly for youngpeople and those grappling with
self-esteem issues, socialmedia can act as a double-edged
sword, and though I like tobelieve that we all can use
social media wisely andmindfully and that most of us
are leveraging them in a waythat enhances the quality of our
(07:48):
lives rather than taking thataway from us, but from my sample
size of patients over the yearsI've grown increasingly aware
and concerned that social mediais becoming more and more of an
issue for people's mentalwell-being.
So until we learn better waysto be more mindful and set
healthy boundaries, andcompanies take action to make
(08:08):
them less addictive, socialmedia and tech use will continue
to be a psychologicaltug-of-war for us all.
So the thing is, social mediaplatforms, while offering a
means to connect and share, caneasily and often exacerbate the
pressures of insecurity.
Teenagers and, let's be honest,adults too frequently curate
(08:30):
their online personas to portrayan idealized version of their
lives.
This isn't just about sharingthe highlights, but involves
meticulously edited images andposts that showcase a seemingly
flawless existence.
Our identities can grow soattached to social media life
that we can't even truly livemindfully and be present without
(08:52):
having to snap a photo or videoof our best moments for a post.
This relentless comparison andpursuit of perfection can deepen
feelings of inadequacy andanxiety.
The irony here is that, in ourquest for acceptance and
validation from others, we oftenend up presenting a polished,
somewhat fake version ofourselves.
(09:13):
This version constantly needsto be managed and filtered,
leading us further away from ourauthentic selves and closer to
a persona that we believe otherswill find acceptable.
This disconnect between ouronline personas and our true
selves creates a significant gap.
The more we invest inmaintaining this facade, the
(09:33):
more we betray our genuineidentities.
The struggle for authenticityis real and challenging.
It's about embracing not onlythe aspects of ourselves that we
are proud of, but also those wemight feel ashamed of or wish
to hide.
Let me tie this segment onsocial media with a quote from
Brene Brown that eloquentlycaptures this dilemma, stating
(09:56):
True belonging is the spiritualpractice of believing in and
belonging to yourself so deeplythat you can share your most
authentic self with the worldand find sacredness in both
being a part of something andstanding alone in the wilderness
.
True belonging doesn't requireyou to change who you are.
It requires you to be who youare.
(10:17):
So, as we proceed, think aboutyour own personal experiences.
What moments in your life havecontributed to feelings of
insecurity?
Recognizing these can be yourfirst step toward turning your
insecurities into sources ofstrength.
Here is a fundamental truth Ourearly insecurities don't just
fade away.
They shape the foundation ofhow we interact with the world
(10:40):
and the paths we take and thedecisions we make.
Long after we've grown up.
These insecurities manifest andevolve with us as we step into
adulthood.
For many of us, theseunresolved feelings can dictate
crucial aspects of our lives,from career choices to social
interactions.
Reflecting back on my ownjourney, I noticed how the
(11:01):
insecurities seeded in childhoodinfluenced my initial career
trajectory.
Initially, the fear of judgmentand a desire to avoid social
scrutiny led me to selectprofessions that required
minimal public engagement, suchas computer science.
This choice was heavilyinfluenced by my struggle with
social anxiety and not knowingwho I really was, a direct
(11:25):
result of the subtle judgmentsfrom family members to the
relentless bullying Iexperienced.
I was not raised in anenvironment that encouraged me
to be myself, to think formyself or to even make
independent decisions, andrather to just conform and to
listen and abide by the rules,even if they steer me further
(11:45):
away from my own internalcompass and inner voice.
Even as I pursued these careerpaths, the underlying anxiety
and feeling of not being goodenough persisted, affecting my
performance and satisfaction.
This brings us to a concept Iwould like to briefly mention.
This concept is called insecureoverachievers.
(12:05):
Many workplaces, particularlythose that are highly
competitive, seem almostdesigned to cultivate this type
of personality.
Insecure overachievers areindividuals who, despite their
high levels of success,constantly fear that they are
not truly capable or deserving.
Driven by an internal beliefthat they might be exposed as a
(12:25):
fraud, they push themselves toachieve more and more, yet
rarely feel fulfilled by theiraccomplishments.
Many work and even schoolenvironments often exacerbate
these feelings by settingexceedingly high standards and
valuing results over progressand well-being.
In such settings, feedback canoften be more critical than
constructive, reinforcing doubtsabout our own competence and
(12:47):
worth.
The pressure to perform canlead to a cycle where the only
measure of self-worth comes fromgood grades and achievements,
yet these achievements neverseem to suppress the inner voice
of insecurity.
We find ourselves trapped in avicious cycle where we're always
trying to prove our worth toothers.
But here's the thing thestandards we're trying to meet
(13:09):
are often the echoes of pastcriticisms and expectations
we've adopted and internalizedas our own over the years.
In reality, we're caught up ina game where victory seems
forever out of reach becausewe're measuring ourselves
against benchmarks that aren'ttruly our own.
Remember this your self-worthtranscends these external
(13:32):
validations.
Ultimately, the only person youneed to prove anything to is
yourself.
Let's pivot here a bit and letme continue on with my story to
connect it to another importantpoint.
For years, I hid myself away.
I tried my best to conform tothe majority and what I thought
was socially desirable and whatI thought would protect me from
(13:54):
further emotional pain.
I internalized these judgmentsand criticisms so deeply that
they became my own voice andopinion towards myself.
Any efforts I attempted lateron in life were met with anxiety
, specifically social anxiety,and I didn't realize it then.
But when the symptoms of socialanxiety were triggered, they
were merely signs that I wasmoving in the right direction.
(14:16):
The anxiety was just a barrierfrom my past, and it would
intensify as I stepped outsideof that comfort zone.
To move closer to my authenticself, letting go of the weight
of all the negative judgmentsand beliefs I held onto about
myself was a long process.
So as I moved into my youngadulthood, despite choosing
(14:37):
careers and paths that promisedto keep me safely within my
shell, the dissatisfaction grewintense.
My inner voice was starting toshout at me.
The transformation began with measking myself deeper questions
to shine the spotlight on thehidden beliefs and ways of
thinking that I adopted over theyears but never once challenged
.
The thinking clearly impactedhow I operated and behaved.
(15:00):
So I began challenging thenarratives I had been told about
myself through taking concreteaction.
My actions became new evidenceand data that proved those old
thinking wrong.
In particular, for the longesttime, friends, teachers and
families would tell me that Iwasn't good with communication
and socializing with others,that I was too introverted, too
(15:24):
quiet for roles that requiredengagement and connecting with
others.
But as I delved deeper into myown psychology, I realized I
didn't have to believe everyautomatic thought I had, that
there were higher levels ofthinking that came with
awareness and that theseautomatic, initial intrusive
thoughts were gateways tounderstanding human nature, to
(15:47):
understanding myself.
By the time I reached collegeand beyond, as I continued my
education, my perspective hadshifted dramatically.
I noticed where my anxietywould rise and what situation
made it worse.
I began noticing my owncompulsion to avoid what was
uncomfortable, later realizingmost people do this.
(16:07):
So my awareness led to action.
I recognized that I didn't wantto live within a bubble, that a
safe and comfortable life meansI would subject myself to a
psychological prison.
So everything I didn't like orwasn't good at or caused anxiety
mainly social interaction andpublic speaking and speaking in
(16:29):
general I began embracing publicspeaking, not as a challenge
and speaking in general.
I began embracing publicspeaking not as a challenge but
as an opportunity to break downthe walls and to liberate my
inner self, my real inner voicethat was taught to keep quiet
and scared and hidden over theyears.
Each acting class, improv class, speech class, each workshop,
each presentation, they allbecame a step away from the
(16:51):
insecure child of my past and amove toward a person who not
only found meaning in his workbut also brought his whole
authentic self to the forefront.
I became more connected andcomfortable in my own skin.
I share this glimpse into mypast to highlight an important
point Our insecurities, asdaunting as they may seem, are
not just barriers and limitingbeliefs.
(17:13):
They are signals guiding ustowards our true potential.
They are our starting pointtowards true transformation.
It is when we confront andharness these insecurities that
we can transform them into asource of unimaginable strength.
This isn't about gathering morepraise or seeking further
approval.
It is about fundamentallychanging how we value ourselves.
(17:34):
Our so-called weaknesses andinsecurities are something we
all should no longer ignore.
They are stopping us fromliving a fulfilling life, and if
you keep making decisions toaccommodate your fears by
avoiding them, your options inlife and how you live will
become increasingly limited, ifnot already.
Our flaws are not just quirks,but they are integral parts of
(17:58):
who we are.
Acceptance of them is just thebeginning.
We need to accept them torealize what is happening to us
so we can understand them enoughto cultivate them in an
adaptive way that is useful andoptimizing.
We all need to do the shadowwork and ask ourselves better
questions.
Why do we believe what webelieve?
How do we make decisions?
(18:19):
What really matters to us?
What are we truly capable ofachieving on our own terms?
What more can we do if we letgo of what others think?
Who are you?
Let's cement this even moreusing the inspiring example I
mentioned at the beginning ofthe session David Goggins.
When I first encountered hisstory through social media, it
(18:41):
struck a profound chord with me.
What resonated the most wasn'tjust his physical feats of
endurance, it was hisvulnerability.
I was amazed by how raw andreal he was with his story and
how he approached his weaknessesand fears.
David didn't double down on hisstrengths, he tripled down on
his weaknesses.
(19:01):
He tackled the very things hefeared, the skills he lacked,
the challenges that seemedinsurmountable.
Rather than avoiding his flawsor shifting his focus to areas
where he might have naturallyexcelled or felt comfortable in,
he chose to face them head on.
Today, what people admire aboutDavid the resilience, the grit,
(19:22):
the almost superhuman staminais exactly what he developed by
focusing on what were onceperceived as his greatest
weaknesses.
This part of David's journeybeautifully illustrates the
concept of exposure, responseprevention, erp therapy, which
is commonly used to treatanxiety disorders like OCD.
In ERP, the idea is to confrontyour fears directly, without
(19:45):
the rituals or avoidantbehaviors that typically soothe
anxiety.
By repeatedly facing the sourceof fear, the person learns to
reduce anxiety and build a newresponse to the fear stimuli.
The outcome can often make theonce-fear thing become the
greatest strength, because theperson has spent so much time
essentially training themselvesto skillfully overcome the fears
(20:06):
.
Applying this to our owninsecurities whether they're
about public speaking, assertingourselves in professional
settings or social interactionsthe principle remains the same
Leaning into our discomfort canbe transformative.
This approach doesn't justalleviate the symptoms of
insecurity.
It can fundamentally change howwe interact with our fears and
(20:29):
perceive limitations.
David Goggin's story is apowerful reminder that our
greatest growth often comes fromembracing our weaknesses, not
just our strengths.
So take a moment to think aboutareas in your own life where
you might be avoiding challengesor discomfort.
How can you approach theseareas more directly to foster
(20:49):
growth and self-understanding?
Develop smart goals that arebite-sized around that fear so
that you can begin approachingit.
I want to take a moment to talka little more on something
important.
As we are striving to leverageour insecurities and be more
authentic, we all have a deepsense of need for acceptance and
approval.
It's real, so the risk and costof being authentic can be
(21:12):
extremely terrifying.
I do empathize and understandthe profound fear associated
with being our authentic selves.
It's a valid fear thatresonates both in our real lives
and online.
When we were kids, freelyexpressing ourselves sometimes
led to swift judgment, teasingand even just innocent jokes and
comments which could abruptlysilence our voices and dim our
(21:35):
spirits.
And what's more, in today'ssociety, with all these social
media platforms offeringopportunities for
self-expression, the experienceof judgments and opinions is
significantly magnified.
On social media, we'rebombarded by countless images
that dictate standards of beauty, success, happiness and
lifestyle.
The online world exposes us tothese ideals and differences,
(22:00):
continuously, heightening ourvulnerability.
Sharing anything that trulyrepresents who we are on social
media can be daunting.
It opens us up to the vast andoften critical world of online
commentary, where people behindscreens deliver harsher
judgments than they ever wouldin face-to-face interactions.
This intensified level ofscrutiny and gaslighting online
(22:21):
culture can break even thepeople with the highest
self-esteem, so the act ofposting genuine content feels
not just risky but downrightterrifying.
The effects of such exposure arenot trivial.
They extrapolate into very realdangers.
It's no wonder why more andmore people are struggling with
body dysmorphia and lowself-esteem and taking their own
(22:44):
lives for granted, thinkingwe're missing out on the best of
life just from a clip or photoof someone else, oneself or
others.
The digital realm, whileoffering amazing opportunities
(23:05):
for connection, business successand self-expression, also poses
significant risks that we mustnavigate carefully and
consciously.
The journey towards embracingour authentic selves often
involves confronting theseconstructed identities and the
insecurities they mask.
It's about learning to acceptand integrate all parts of
ourselves, transforming ourinsecurities from hidden shame
(23:28):
into sources of strength.
As we continue this discussion,consider how social media might
be influencing your perceptionof yourself and others.
Are you moving towards a moreauthentic self, or are you
caught in the cycle ofcomparison and pleasing others?
Is your worth heavily dependenton how many views and likes you
receive?
(23:48):
If you're struggling with lowself-esteem, then I encourage
and empower you to use socialmedia more responsibly, not as a
tool for validation ordistraction from being present
and grateful for life, but as aplatform that enhances your
quality of life.
Now let's ground our discussionwith some practical advice.
First and foremost, I want totell you all that you have a
(24:12):
choice.
Your choice is a consciousdecision to make a change.
I want to emphasize thatmastering insecurity isn't an
overnight fix.
It's a long-term commitment, adaily practice of becoming and
being your true self.
I've mentioned in many of myother past sessions on how to
address problems that take usaway from our true selves and to
(24:33):
overcome things such as fears,people pleasing and trusting
ourselves in the process.
So instead of repeating themhere, I advise you to go back
and listen to those sessions ifyou're interested in doing a
deeper dive.
What I will say here is this Tostart this journey, the first
step is to practice authenticity.
What I mean is practice beinghonest with yourself and others.
(24:56):
Learn how to be honest evenwhen it's scary.
Yes, you will make mistakes,but that's part of it.
You need to practice being youto really know how to be you.
So give yourself that chance.
It's about progress, notperfection, and understand this.
Doubt will constantly show upand it will make you want to
retreat and even surrender.
(25:17):
Please don't do that.
Avoidance is the worst thingfor self-growth and
self-improvement.
Do the hard thing.
Doubt is often just anindicator or symptom of growth.
I understand that these tipsand methods are abundant out
there, and it can beoverwhelming.
That's why the key takeaway Iwant to impart is not just a
(25:37):
list of strategies, but theencouragement to simply begin.
Start where you are, use whatyou have and do what you can.
The most critical step is thefirst one, initiating the
practice of self-discovery andconsistent self-improvement.
And, with that said, working onourselves is already
challenging and hard.
So give yourself some grace.
I know there's a lot of emphasison concepts like self-love and
(26:01):
self-compassion nowadays, butthese terms can sometimes feel
muddled or overcomplicated.
In my experience, the mosteffective way to cultivate these
qualities isn't just throughattempting to love yourself in
isolation.
Instead, it's about embodyinglove and compassion through your
actions towards other people,other living things, moments and
even nature.
(26:21):
When you extend love andcompassion to those around you,
you're not just acting outwardly, you're nurturing these
qualities within yourself.
This approach allows you tointernalize and genuinely embody
these traits.
Being of service can profoundlyillustrate your inherent value,
teaching you self-compassionand self-love more naturally and
(26:44):
deeply than any internalaffirmation could.
So, rather than merely seekinglove and compassion, aim to live
it and ultimately be love.
Through this love, andself-acceptance will naturally
follow.
Let us now wrap up today'sconversation with a final
statement.
Your insecurities often echo theneeds and fears of your inner
(27:04):
child.
Rather than dismissing thesefeelings or viewing them as
weaknesses, I urge you toembrace them, accept your
limitations, celebrate them even, because remember this journey
is about progress, notperfection.
Our insecurities are powerfuldrivers of intrinsic motivation,
igniting our passions, becauseat our core, we all have an
(27:25):
innate need to feel worthy.
Most of us grapple withfeelings of not being good
enough, but here's theempowering truth Our
insecurities can be oursuperpowers, but only if we
learn to accept them for whatthey are, before we can begin
harnessing them as sources ofpower.
The uniqueness that makes eachof us special is often hidden,
(27:47):
overshadowed by what we believeare our strengths.
But when you stop caring aboutothers' opinions, when you stop
pretending and hiding, you allowyourself to be genuinely
present in the moment withothers.
It's time to embrace who youare, respect yourself and
realize that the more you knowyourself, the less you'll care
about others' opinions.
(28:07):
Remember people who havetransformed their lives.
All started by facing theirfears head on.
They chose to confront and growthrough their struggles,
turning their fears into theirgreatest strengths.
Ultimately, you know, what wedesire most lies just beyond our
fears.
Fear is not just an obstacle,it's an opportunity, an
unimagined one, that summons usto cross over, to realize our
(28:31):
true potential.
And I will end it here with afinal short story that is
commonly attributed to theCherokee tribe.
I've shared this before and Ilike this one because I think it
hits home for some of us thestory of the two wolves.
In this story, an elderCherokee Indian chief was
teaching his grandson about life.
He said to his grandson A fightis going on inside me, a fight
(28:54):
between two wolves.
The dark one is evil.
He is anger, envy, sorrow,regret, greed, arrogance,
self-pity, guilt, resentment,inferiority, lies, false pride,
superiority and ego.
Greed, arrogance, self-pity,guilt, resentment, inferiority,
lies, false pride, superiorityand ego.
He continued the light wolf isgood.
He is joy, peace, love, hope,serenity, humility, kindness,
(29:16):
benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.
The same fight is going oninside you and inside of every
other person on the face of thisearth.
The grandson ponders this for amoment and then asks
Grandfather, which wolf will win?
The old Cherokee smiled andsimply said, the one you feed.
(29:37):
Every day, we make choices,important choices that could be
overlooked as being trivial, butthese choices define us.
That could be overlooked asbeing trivial, but these choices
define us.
They are a statement of who wechoose to be in this life and
what impact we will have on theworld around us.
So what are you cultivating?
Who or what are you feedinginside you?
The choice is yours.
As we close out today's session,I want to remind everyone that,
(30:00):
while the insights and storiesshared here are meant to inspire
and educate, they do notreplace professional help.
If you're struggling and needsupport, I encourage you to seek
help from a qualifiedprofessional.
Please be sure to like, reviewand share this podcast, engage
with the content and let'sspread the word that our
(30:22):
insecurities, once understoodand embraced, can indeed become
our superpowers.
You can find us on variousplatforms.
Follow us on our social mediachannels.
Links to these profiles can befound in the episode description
.
Thank you for tuning in anduntil next time, keep exploring,
keep growing and remember tostep beyond your fears.
(30:42):
They just might lead you toyour greatest opportunities.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
Thanks for tuning in to Mind Manners with Albert
Nguyen.
We hope you found value in thisepisode.
If you'd like to work withAlbert one-on-one, visit
OptiMindCounselingcom to learnmore about his private practice.
Looking to join a community oflike-minded individuals, search
Mind Manners Podcast Communityon Facebook and join our group
(31:06):
to connect with others on theirwellness journeys.
Finally, if you haven't alreadydone so, please write us a
five-star review on ApplePodcast and let us know you're
enjoying the show.
As a therapist, I've seen firsthand how unchecked and
neglected insecurities candisrupt every aspect of our
lives, from our relationships toour careers.
They can prompt actions that inhindsight might seem unwise and
even destructive.
Trust me, I've been down thatroad more times than I can count
.
No one is immune to this.
(00:21):
We all have blind spots.
One is immune to this.
We all have blind spots.
But we don't have to acceptthis as a fixed state.
A bit of self-awareness goes along way.
What if I told you that thevery things you often view as
your greatest weaknesses couldactually be your greatest asset,
and that it could also be yourmost profound source of strength
(00:41):
?
It's a fascinating paradox.
True strength isn't alwaysabout capitalizing on what we're
naturally good at.
Instead, it's about facingimmense hardships, transforming
our perceived weaknesses andcultivating and optimizing our
resilience and self-awareness.
Take David Goggins, for instance.
He's this extraordinaryindividual.
(01:03):
He's a major influence and rolemodel in the realm of
self-discipline and mentaltoughness, but like most
extraordinary people, he is ashuman as he can be.
His story is all about absolutevulnerability and immense
struggle.
His journey exemplifies thistransformation I am talking
about.
His story is not just inspiringthis transformation I am
(01:27):
talking about His story is notjust inspiring, but a powerful
reminder that our greatestchallenges can lead to our most
significant growth.
Let's triple down on ourso-called weaknesses.
Let's listen to the signals andsigns that they give us and
allow that to become the pathtowards the greatest version of
ourselves.
Let's go deep on this one intoday's session, where we'll
talk about how we can harnessour insecurities and turn them
(01:48):
into our superpowers.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
You're listening to Mind Manners, hosted by licensed
psychotherapist Albert Nguyen.
Albert helps his clientsovercome past trauma, change
their mindset and acceleratetheir personal and professional
development.
This podcast covers a widerange of mental health and
self-development topics, witheach episode offering an
actionable step towards a betteryou.
(02:11):
If you're on a wellness journey, keep listening.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Welcome back to Mind Manners, my fellow travelers.
As we step into May, let'sremember it's Mental Health
Awareness Month, a perfect timeto really carve out time to
refocus on our well-being anddeepen our understanding of
mental health.
It's a time for deeperintrospection, learning and
extracting from our experiencesand others.
(02:36):
So, in honor of this month andthe topic of insecurity, let me
share a personal story that Ithink can further illustrate
today's main takeaway, andhopefully it's a story you may
be able to relate or empathizewith.
So, reflecting back to mychildhood, I remember a time
when life was an endlessadventure.
I was that kid who fearlesslyraised his hand in class without
(03:00):
hesitation, who savored thosemoments of exploring every nook
and cranny of my imagination.
I played without worrying or acare in the world, even when my
mom would dress me up in waysthat defied typical gender norms
.
I just didn't care.
I didn't care because I didn'tsee any problems with them.
But then it happened.
Life happened.
(03:21):
Third grade hit me and with itcame a very harsh introduction
to discrimination, criticism andjudgments from fellow peers,
even school teachers and, sadly,some of my family members.
It all became consistent enoughthat I could no longer ignore
it.
The judgments shined a negativespotlight, pairing it with
negative connotations that beganto define who I was in various
(03:43):
aspects of me.
Suddenly, things like my accent, not quite polished in English,
became a point of ridicule.
Even small details such as myeyes, my hair, my weight
attributes I hadn't thoughttwice about were mocked and tied
to stereotypes I didn't evenreally understand.
Accusations and false rumorsabout my sexuality began to
(04:06):
surface, based on nothing morethan innocent childhood
behaviors.
These comments, these crueljabs, taught me things about
myself I hadn't known, things Istarted to resent and felt
ashamed of.
This attack of criticism pushedme into silence.
I subconsciously developedselective mutism as a means of
(04:27):
survival and self-preservation,and I even began retreating from
my heritage, my roots andanything that made me stand out.
Essentially, I began hiding.
I dimmed my own light, withdrewfrom class participation and
shrank as much as possible toavoid any attention.
For years, this was my reality.
So let's unpack this together.
(04:50):
As you've heard from my story,insecurity often starts early in
life.
Childhood experiences, whetherit's criticism from peers or
authority figures, or evenbullying, they all plant seeds
of doubt that can grow intopervasive negative self-talk and
intrusive thoughts.
Insecurity doesn't just appearout of nowhere.
It's often the result of acomplex interplay of experiences
(05:14):
and messages we receive as wegrow.
For instance, being singled outfor certain personal traits or
appearance as a child teaches usto scrutinize ourselves through
the critical eyes of others,leading to a cycle of self-doubt
, reduced self-worth and afragile self-esteem that is
reliant on the approval ofothers.
The scary thing is thatcriticism and bullying can also
(05:37):
be very subtle, that we don'teven realize how influential
they can become.
But these early experiences canprofoundly impact how we
interact with the world.
When we learn to see ourselvesas somehow less than due to
childhood criticism or bullying,we carry that insecurity into
every classroom, every workplaceand in every relationship.
(05:59):
It influences how we presentourselves, how much we speak up
or not speak up, and even how weallow ourselves to be treated
by others.
But insecurity is not just aboutwhat happened to us as kids.
It also comes from ongoingcomparisons to others,
experiences of trauma, living inuncertain circumstances and
(06:20):
facing discrimination and facingdiscrimination.
Each of these factors canexacerbate feelings of
inadequacy and fear that wedon't measure up to some
standard or expectations set byour families, our cultures or
our societies.
What's critical to understandis that these sources of
insecurity are not isolated.
They often overlap, creating acomplex web that can trap us in
(06:45):
a cycle of negative feedbackloops, like a little hamster in
a wheel, going nowhere butexhausting ourselves.
For example, when someone froma marginalized community enters
a predominantly exclusiveprofessional environment, they
might feel intense pressure tooverperform due to societal
stereotypes or discrimination,intensifying feelings of
(07:06):
insecurity.
I believe it's even harder todaywith the ever-growing social
media engine machines and howthese modern factors can
significantly intensify thesefeelings of insecurity.
Over the years I've spokenextensively about how mindless
use of technology and screentime can negatively influence
(07:26):
our mental health, both in mypractice with patients and
publicly, particularly for youngpeople and those grappling with
self-esteem issues, socialmedia can act as a double-edged
sword, and though I like tobelieve that we all can use
social media wisely andmindfully and that most of us
are leveraging them in a waythat enhances the quality of our
(07:48):
lives rather than taking thataway from us, but from my sample
size of patients over the yearsI've grown increasingly aware
and concerned that social mediais becoming more and more of an
issue for people's mentalwell-being.
So until we learn better waysto be more mindful and set
healthy boundaries, andcompanies take action to make
(08:08):
them less addictive, socialmedia and tech use will continue
to be a psychologicaltug-of-war for us all.
So the thing is, social mediaplatforms, while offering a
means to connect and share, caneasily and often exacerbate the
pressures of insecurity.
Teenagers and, let's be honest,adults too frequently curate
(08:30):
their online personas to portrayan idealized version of their
lives.
This isn't just about sharingthe highlights, but involves
meticulously edited images andposts that showcase a seemingly
flawless existence.
Our identities can grow soattached to social media life
that we can't even truly livemindfully and be present without
(08:52):
having to snap a photo or videoof our best moments for a post.
This relentless comparison andpursuit of perfection can deepen
feelings of inadequacy andanxiety.
The irony here is that, in ourquest for acceptance and
validation from others, we oftenend up presenting a polished,
somewhat fake version ofourselves.
(09:13):
This version constantly needsto be managed and filtered,
leading us further away from ourauthentic selves and closer to
a persona that we believe otherswill find acceptable.
This disconnect between ouronline personas and our true
selves creates a significant gap.
The more we invest inmaintaining this facade, the
(09:33):
more we betray our genuineidentities.
The struggle for authenticityis real and challenging.
It's about embracing not onlythe aspects of ourselves that we
are proud of, but also those wemight feel ashamed of or wish
to hide.
Let me tie this segment onsocial media with a quote from
Brene Brown that eloquentlycaptures this dilemma, stating
(09:56):
True belonging is the spiritualpractice of believing in and
belonging to yourself so deeplythat you can share your most
authentic self with the worldand find sacredness in both
being a part of something andstanding alone in the wilderness
.
True belonging doesn't requireyou to change who you are.
It requires you to be who youare.
(10:17):
So, as we proceed, think aboutyour own personal experiences.
What moments in your life havecontributed to feelings of
insecurity?
Recognizing these can be yourfirst step toward turning your
insecurities into sources ofstrength.
Here is a fundamental truth Ourearly insecurities don't just
fade away.
They shape the foundation ofhow we interact with the world
(10:40):
and the paths we take and thedecisions we make.
Long after we've grown up.
These insecurities manifest andevolve with us as we step into
adulthood.
For many of us, theseunresolved feelings can dictate
crucial aspects of our lives,from career choices to social
interactions.
Reflecting back on my ownjourney, I noticed how the
(11:01):
insecurities seeded in childhoodinfluenced my initial career
trajectory.
Initially, the fear of judgmentand a desire to avoid social
scrutiny led me to selectprofessions that required
minimal public engagement, suchas computer science.
This choice was heavilyinfluenced by my struggle with
social anxiety and not knowingwho I really was, a direct
(11:25):
result of the subtle judgmentsfrom family members to the
relentless bullying Iexperienced.
I was not raised in anenvironment that encouraged me
to be myself, to think formyself or to even make
independent decisions, andrather to just conform and to
listen and abide by the rules,even if they steer me further
(11:45):
away from my own internalcompass and inner voice.
Even as I pursued these careerpaths, the underlying anxiety
and feeling of not being goodenough persisted, affecting my
performance and satisfaction.
This brings us to a concept Iwould like to briefly mention.
This concept is called insecureoverachievers.
(12:05):
Many workplaces, particularlythose that are highly
competitive, seem almostdesigned to cultivate this type
of personality.
Insecure overachievers areindividuals who, despite their
high levels of success,constantly fear that they are
not truly capable or deserving.
Driven by an internal beliefthat they might be exposed as a
(12:25):
fraud, they push themselves toachieve more and more, yet
rarely feel fulfilled by theiraccomplishments.
Many work and even schoolenvironments often exacerbate
these feelings by settingexceedingly high standards and
valuing results over progressand well-being.
In such settings, feedback canoften be more critical than
constructive, reinforcing doubtsabout our own competence and
(12:47):
worth.
The pressure to perform canlead to a cycle where the only
measure of self-worth comes fromgood grades and achievements,
yet these achievements neverseem to suppress the inner voice
of insecurity.
We find ourselves trapped in avicious cycle where we're always
trying to prove our worth toothers.
But here's the thing thestandards we're trying to meet
(13:09):
are often the echoes of pastcriticisms and expectations
we've adopted and internalizedas our own over the years.
In reality, we're caught up ina game where victory seems
forever out of reach becausewe're measuring ourselves
against benchmarks that aren'ttruly our own.
Remember this your self-worthtranscends these external
(13:32):
validations.
Ultimately, the only person youneed to prove anything to is
yourself.
Let's pivot here a bit and letme continue on with my story to
connect it to another importantpoint.
For years, I hid myself away.
I tried my best to conform tothe majority and what I thought
was socially desirable and whatI thought would protect me from
(13:54):
further emotional pain.
I internalized these judgmentsand criticisms so deeply that
they became my own voice andopinion towards myself.
Any efforts I attempted lateron in life were met with anxiety
, specifically social anxiety,and I didn't realize it then.
But when the symptoms of socialanxiety were triggered, they
were merely signs that I wasmoving in the right direction.
(14:16):
The anxiety was just a barrierfrom my past, and it would
intensify as I stepped outsideof that comfort zone.
To move closer to my authenticself, letting go of the weight
of all the negative judgmentsand beliefs I held onto about
myself was a long process.
So as I moved into my youngadulthood, despite choosing
(14:37):
careers and paths that promisedto keep me safely within my
shell, the dissatisfaction grewintense.
My inner voice was starting toshout at me.
The transformation began with measking myself deeper questions
to shine the spotlight on thehidden beliefs and ways of
thinking that I adopted over theyears but never once challenged
.
The thinking clearly impactedhow I operated and behaved.
(15:00):
So I began challenging thenarratives I had been told about
myself through taking concreteaction.
My actions became new evidenceand data that proved those old
thinking wrong.
In particular, for the longesttime, friends, teachers and
families would tell me that Iwasn't good with communication
and socializing with others,that I was too introverted, too
(15:24):
quiet for roles that requiredengagement and connecting with
others.
But as I delved deeper into myown psychology, I realized I
didn't have to believe everyautomatic thought I had, that
there were higher levels ofthinking that came with
awareness and that theseautomatic, initial intrusive
thoughts were gateways tounderstanding human nature, to
(15:47):
understanding myself.
By the time I reached collegeand beyond, as I continued my
education, my perspective hadshifted dramatically.
I noticed where my anxietywould rise and what situation
made it worse.
I began noticing my owncompulsion to avoid what was
uncomfortable, later realizingmost people do this.
(16:07):
So my awareness led to action.
I recognized that I didn't wantto live within a bubble, that a
safe and comfortable life meansI would subject myself to a
psychological prison.
So everything I didn't like orwasn't good at or caused anxiety
mainly social interaction andpublic speaking and speaking in
(16:29):
general I began embracing publicspeaking, not as a challenge
and speaking in general.
I began embracing publicspeaking not as a challenge but
as an opportunity to break downthe walls and to liberate my
inner self, my real inner voicethat was taught to keep quiet
and scared and hidden over theyears.
Each acting class, improv class, speech class, each workshop,
each presentation, they allbecame a step away from the
(16:51):
insecure child of my past and amove toward a person who not
only found meaning in his workbut also brought his whole
authentic self to the forefront.
I became more connected andcomfortable in my own skin.
I share this glimpse into mypast to highlight an important
point Our insecurities, asdaunting as they may seem, are
not just barriers and limitingbeliefs.
(17:13):
They are signals guiding ustowards our true potential.
They are our starting pointtowards true transformation.
It is when we confront andharness these insecurities that
we can transform them into asource of unimaginable strength.
This isn't about gathering morepraise or seeking further
approval.
It is about fundamentallychanging how we value ourselves.
(17:34):
Our so-called weaknesses andinsecurities are something we
all should no longer ignore.
They are stopping us fromliving a fulfilling life, and if
you keep making decisions toaccommodate your fears by
avoiding them, your options inlife and how you live will
become increasingly limited, ifnot already.
Our flaws are not just quirks,but they are integral parts of
(17:58):
who we are.
Acceptance of them is just thebeginning.
We need to accept them torealize what is happening to us
so we can understand them enoughto cultivate them in an
adaptive way that is useful andoptimizing.
We all need to do the shadowwork and ask ourselves better
questions.
Why do we believe what webelieve?
How do we make decisions?
(18:19):
What really matters to us?
What are we truly capable ofachieving on our own terms?
What more can we do if we letgo of what others think?
Who are you?
Let's cement this even moreusing the inspiring example I
mentioned at the beginning ofthe session David Goggins.
When I first encountered hisstory through social media, it
(18:41):
struck a profound chord with me.
What resonated the most wasn'tjust his physical feats of
endurance, it was hisvulnerability.
I was amazed by how raw andreal he was with his story and
how he approached his weaknessesand fears.
David didn't double down on hisstrengths, he tripled down on
his weaknesses.
(19:01):
He tackled the very things hefeared, the skills he lacked,
the challenges that seemedinsurmountable.
Rather than avoiding his flawsor shifting his focus to areas
where he might have naturallyexcelled or felt comfortable in,
he chose to face them head on.
Today, what people admire aboutDavid the resilience, the grit,
(19:22):
the almost superhuman staminais exactly what he developed by
focusing on what were onceperceived as his greatest
weaknesses.
This part of David's journeybeautifully illustrates the
concept of exposure, responseprevention, erp therapy, which
is commonly used to treatanxiety disorders like OCD.
In ERP, the idea is to confrontyour fears directly, without
(19:45):
the rituals or avoidantbehaviors that typically soothe
anxiety.
By repeatedly facing the sourceof fear, the person learns to
reduce anxiety and build a newresponse to the fear stimuli.
The outcome can often make theonce-fear thing become the
greatest strength, because theperson has spent so much time
essentially training themselvesto skillfully overcome the fears
(20:06):
.
Applying this to our owninsecurities whether they're
about public speaking, assertingourselves in professional
settings or social interactionsthe principle remains the same
Leaning into our discomfort canbe transformative.
This approach doesn't justalleviate the symptoms of
insecurity.
It can fundamentally change howwe interact with our fears and
(20:29):
perceive limitations.
David Goggin's story is apowerful reminder that our
greatest growth often comes fromembracing our weaknesses, not
just our strengths.
So take a moment to think aboutareas in your own life where
you might be avoiding challengesor discomfort.
How can you approach theseareas more directly to foster
(20:49):
growth and self-understanding?
Develop smart goals that arebite-sized around that fear so
that you can begin approachingit.
I want to take a moment to talka little more on something
important.
As we are striving to leverageour insecurities and be more
authentic, we all have a deepsense of need for acceptance and
approval.
It's real, so the risk and costof being authentic can be
(21:12):
extremely terrifying.
I do empathize and understandthe profound fear associated
with being our authentic selves.
It's a valid fear thatresonates both in our real lives
and online.
When we were kids, freelyexpressing ourselves sometimes
led to swift judgment, teasingand even just innocent jokes and
comments which could abruptlysilence our voices and dim our
(21:35):
spirits.
And what's more, in today'ssociety, with all these social
media platforms offeringopportunities for
self-expression, the experienceof judgments and opinions is
significantly magnified.
On social media, we'rebombarded by countless images
that dictate standards of beauty, success, happiness and
lifestyle.
The online world exposes us tothese ideals and differences,
(22:00):
continuously, heightening ourvulnerability.
Sharing anything that trulyrepresents who we are on social
media can be daunting.
It opens us up to the vast andoften critical world of online
commentary, where people behindscreens deliver harsher
judgments than they ever wouldin face-to-face interactions.
This intensified level ofscrutiny and gaslighting online
(22:21):
culture can break even thepeople with the highest
self-esteem, so the act ofposting genuine content feels
not just risky but downrightterrifying.
The effects of such exposure arenot trivial.
They extrapolate into very realdangers.
It's no wonder why more andmore people are struggling with
body dysmorphia and lowself-esteem and taking their own
(22:44):
lives for granted, thinkingwe're missing out on the best of
life just from a clip or photoof someone else, oneself or
others.
The digital realm, whileoffering amazing opportunities
(23:05):
for connection, business successand self-expression, also poses
significant risks that we mustnavigate carefully and
consciously.
The journey towards embracingour authentic selves often
involves confronting theseconstructed identities and the
insecurities they mask.
It's about learning to acceptand integrate all parts of
ourselves, transforming ourinsecurities from hidden shame
(23:28):
into sources of strength.
As we continue this discussion,consider how social media might
be influencing your perceptionof yourself and others.
Are you moving towards a moreauthentic self, or are you
caught in the cycle ofcomparison and pleasing others?
Is your worth heavily dependenton how many views and likes you
receive?
(23:48):
If you're struggling with lowself-esteem, then I encourage
and empower you to use socialmedia more responsibly, not as a
tool for validation ordistraction from being present
and grateful for life, but as aplatform that enhances your
quality of life.
Now let's ground our discussionwith some practical advice.
First and foremost, I want totell you all that you have a
(24:12):
choice.
Your choice is a consciousdecision to make a change.
I want to emphasize thatmastering insecurity isn't an
overnight fix.
It's a long-term commitment, adaily practice of becoming and
being your true self.
I've mentioned in many of myother past sessions on how to
address problems that take usaway from our true selves and to
(24:33):
overcome things such as fears,people pleasing and trusting
ourselves in the process.
So instead of repeating themhere, I advise you to go back
and listen to those sessions ifyou're interested in doing a
deeper dive.
What I will say here is this Tostart this journey, the first
step is to practice authenticity.
What I mean is practice beinghonest with yourself and others.
(24:56):
Learn how to be honest evenwhen it's scary.
Yes, you will make mistakes,but that's part of it.
You need to practice being youto really know how to be you.
So give yourself that chance.
It's about progress, notperfection, and understand this.
Doubt will constantly show upand it will make you want to
retreat and even surrender.
(25:17):
Please don't do that.
Avoidance is the worst thingfor self-growth and
self-improvement.
Do the hard thing.
Doubt is often just anindicator or symptom of growth.
I understand that these tipsand methods are abundant out
there, and it can beoverwhelming.
That's why the key takeaway Iwant to impart is not just a
(25:37):
list of strategies, but theencouragement to simply begin.
Start where you are, use whatyou have and do what you can.
The most critical step is thefirst one, initiating the
practice of self-discovery andconsistent self-improvement.
And, with that said, working onourselves is already
challenging and hard.
So give yourself some grace.
I know there's a lot of emphasison concepts like self-love and
(26:01):
self-compassion nowadays, butthese terms can sometimes feel
muddled or overcomplicated.
In my experience, the mosteffective way to cultivate these
qualities isn't just throughattempting to love yourself in
isolation.
Instead, it's about embodyinglove and compassion through your
actions towards other people,other living things, moments and
even nature.
(26:21):
When you extend love andcompassion to those around you,
you're not just acting outwardly, you're nurturing these
qualities within yourself.
This approach allows you tointernalize and genuinely embody
these traits.
Being of service can profoundlyillustrate your inherent value,
teaching you self-compassionand self-love more naturally and
(26:44):
deeply than any internalaffirmation could.
So, rather than merely seekinglove and compassion, aim to live
it and ultimately be love.
Through this love, andself-acceptance will naturally
follow.
Let us now wrap up today'sconversation with a final
statement.
Your insecurities often echo theneeds and fears of your inner
(27:04):
child.
Rather than dismissing thesefeelings or viewing them as
weaknesses, I urge you toembrace them, accept your
limitations, celebrate them even, because remember this journey
is about progress, notperfection.
Our insecurities are powerfuldrivers of intrinsic motivation,
igniting our passions, becauseat our core, we all have an
(27:25):
innate need to feel worthy.
Most of us grapple withfeelings of not being good
enough, but here's theempowering truth Our
insecurities can be oursuperpowers, but only if we
learn to accept them for whatthey are, before we can begin
harnessing them as sources ofpower.
The uniqueness that makes eachof us special is often hidden,
(27:47):
overshadowed by what we believeare our strengths.
But when you stop caring aboutothers' opinions, when you stop
pretending and hiding, you allowyourself to be genuinely
present in the moment withothers.
It's time to embrace who youare, respect yourself and
realize that the more you knowyourself, the less you'll care
about others' opinions.
(28:07):
Remember people who havetransformed their lives.
All started by facing theirfears head on.
They chose to confront and growthrough their struggles,
turning their fears into theirgreatest strengths.
Ultimately, you know, what wedesire most lies just beyond our
fears.
Fear is not just an obstacle,it's an opportunity, an
unimagined one, that summons usto cross over, to realize our
(28:31):
true potential.
And I will end it here with afinal short story that is
commonly attributed to theCherokee tribe.
I've shared this before and Ilike this one because I think it
hits home for some of us thestory of the two wolves.
In this story, an elderCherokee Indian chief was
teaching his grandson about life.
He said to his grandson A fightis going on inside me, a fight
(28:54):
between two wolves.
The dark one is evil.
He is anger, envy, sorrow,regret, greed, arrogance,
self-pity, guilt, resentment,inferiority, lies, false pride,
superiority and ego.
Greed, arrogance, self-pity,guilt, resentment, inferiority,
lies, false pride, superiorityand ego.
He continued the light wolf isgood.
He is joy, peace, love, hope,serenity, humility, kindness,
(29:16):
benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.
The same fight is going oninside you and inside of every
other person on the face of thisearth.
The grandson ponders this for amoment and then asks
Grandfather, which wolf will win?
The old Cherokee smiled andsimply said, the one you feed.
(29:37):
Every day, we make choices,important choices that could be
overlooked as being trivial, butthese choices define us.
That could be overlooked asbeing trivial, but these choices
define us.
They are a statement of who wechoose to be in this life and
what impact we will have on theworld around us.
So what are you cultivating?
Who or what are you feedinginside you?
The choice is yours.
As we close out today's session,I want to remind everyone that,
(30:00):
while the insights and storiesshared here are meant to inspire
and educate, they do notreplace professional help.
If you're struggling and needsupport, I encourage you to seek
help from a qualifiedprofessional.
Please be sure to like, reviewand share this podcast, engage
with the content and let'sspread the word that our
(30:22):
insecurities, once understoodand embraced, can indeed become
our superpowers.
You can find us on variousplatforms.
Follow us on our social mediachannels.
Links to these profiles can befound in the episode description
.
Thank you for tuning in anduntil next time, keep exploring,
keep growing and remember tostep beyond your fears.
(30:42):
They just might lead you toyour greatest opportunities.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
Thanks for tuning in to Mind Manners with Albert
Nguyen.
We hope you found value in thisepisode.
If you'd like to work withAlbert one-on-one, visit
OptiMindCounselingcom to learnmore about his private practice.
Looking to join a community oflike-minded individuals, search
Mind Manners Podcast Communityon Facebook and join our group
(31:06):
to connect with others on theirwellness journeys.
Finally, if you haven't alreadydone so, please write us a
five-star review on ApplePodcast and let us know you're
enjoying the show.
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