Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
I recently had a chat
with my older brother, and a
conversation reignited the ideaand power behind having an alter
ego.
We were talking about our namesand how we ended up with an
alias, and that talk reminded meof how special it can be to
have an alias and what thatrepresents, how, at birth, our
(00:24):
names were given to us and welive a life with that name.
That name itself starts todevelop a reputation, and over
time, we can kind of get boxedin by who we think that person
is, and so choosing an alias andusing it is a conscious choice,
and it can feel like beingreborn into a new person.
(00:47):
There's something powerfulabout this.
So get ready, because I'm aboutto introduce you to someone
very special to me for the firsttime ever on this podcast.
His name is Casey.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
You're listening to
Mind Manners, hosted by licensed
psychotherapist Albert Nguyen.
Albert helps his clientsovercome past trauma, change
their mindset and acceleratetheir personal and professional
development.
This podcast covers a widerange of mental health and
self-development topics, witheach episode offering an
actionable step towards a betteryou.
(01:24):
If you're on a wellness journey, keep listening.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Throughout life, we
attach and identify ourselves
with a lot of different labels,many of which are defined for us
and they sort of come with aprescription and therefore boxes
us in and limits us from ourfree-spirited and creative
selves.
So, before I dive into the ideaof creating an alter ego for
(01:51):
yourself, I want to introduceCasey to you.
So Casey is someone who is verybold, determined, resilient and
a problem solver.
He finds a way to accomplishthings.
Casey is driven by honor,respect and compassion.
He is crystal clear about hispurpose.
He knows what he stands for andhe fights for it.
(02:14):
When he finds himself in adifficult situation, he uses it
as an opportunity to affirm andreaffirm and assert his values.
He is uncomfortable withcomfort, knowing how comfort can
deter him from the best versionof himself.
He is addicted to working hardat work worth doing.
(02:36):
Impossible does not exist tohim, only things that he has yet
to try.
Casey basks in the whole truth,because lying is a waste of
time.
To him, the truth is only realshortcut to self-improvement.
Casey believes that knowingyour limits only serves as the
proper and true start to yourlife's journey.
(02:58):
He is the personification ofeverything that makes a human
being nearly a superhero or achampion at heart, and if you
ever had the opportunity to meetCasey in person, then you would
know that Casey and I are oneand the same.
Casey is my alter ego.
(03:19):
It's a true story and I want toshare with you where Casey came
from.
It's a part of a very fondmemory I have, back in the year
2009,.
I worked at an outpatientmedical clinic for dementia that
served over 60 patients on anygiven day.
The majority of the patientsbetween about, I would say, 70
(03:41):
to 80% that came through thisclinic were diagnosed with
Alzheimer's disease.
I got to meet with almost everysingle patient, got to know
them and their families, friendsand caretakers, and supported
them in managing their symptoms,enhancing their quality of life
.
The common symptoms with theAlzheimer's disease are memory
(04:06):
loss, mood changes or confusionwith place, date or time.
The symptoms typically startoff very mild but get worse over
time.
Each person with Alzheimer'sdisease progressed through
diseases of the disease atdifferent rates, so you just
never know who you might meetthat day.
They may be the same person,but their reality has changed.
(04:30):
And Casey?
Well, during my four year timeat this clinic, casey actually
found me.
I remember one of the patientsenthusiastically shouted out to
me on a random day.
He said hey, casey, and Ilooked around and I saw that he
(04:51):
was speaking to me.
I thought to myself that hebelieved that I was someone he
knew from an earlier time in hislife.
This was a sign that he hadprogressed further along in
disease.
At this point in my career I wasmore experienced with the
Alzheimer's disease and how thesymptoms manifested across
(05:13):
different people.
Instead of correcting them, Ilearned to be curious and would
almost always step into theirreality.
It helped me understand wherethey were in the disease while
also alleviating unnecessarystress.
So if they thought they were 17years old, they were 17.
(05:36):
If they thought it was 1960, itwas 1960.
If I reminded them of someone,especially if that someone
brought them happiness, I wouldbe that person.
I learned quickly that the gapbetween perception and reality
can be easily blurred and fuzzyFor all of us.
Our perception can become ourrealities and in this case, this
(06:00):
patient thought I was Casey.
From that moment on and for thenext two years, I embodied
Casey.
This patient once was a directorof a huge engineering company
or tech company and Casey wassomeone who had worked for him
as a manager, someone he highlyrespected and admired.
(06:23):
I saw the joy and happinessthat shined through every time
he talked about Casey.
I eventually grew very fond ofmy alter ego, casey.
My conversations during mysessions with this patient
brought a lot of life lessons,insight and wisdom.
So after that patient passedaway, two years later, I carried
(06:47):
that concept of Casey with meand it grew far beyond from
where it started.
Casey, to me, was a symbol, arepresentation of possibilities,
hope and limitlessness.
He wasn't just a character ormemory in someone else's life.
Casey was ever evolving and hebecame the Superman to my Clark
(07:11):
Kent, the Batman to my BruceWayne, the Spider-Man to my
Peter Parker Basically, the heroinside all of us.
Now, the concept of an alter egohas been around for centuries,
but until someone takes aconcept and gives it some
(07:31):
context on ways to implement it,it only becomes something that
we know but don't apply.
The great thing is, we all haveit.
That person is already insideall of us.
You just need to unlock it.
This other part of you is yourheroic self, the best version of
(07:51):
you.
I sometimes refer to thisversion as the most awake or
consciously aware, the one thatis unplugged from the matrix, so
to speak.
There is a powerful techniquethat is used in therapy called
externalization of voices, inwhich the therapist becomes the
patient's negative thoughts, sothat the patient can learn to
(08:15):
create enough distance fromthose thoughts to consciously
speak from another truth orstandpoint.
Creating an alter ego works ina similar way.
That can be used outside oftherapy.
Many people have become soenmeshed with their own negative
thoughts that they actuallybegin to believe that's who they
(08:37):
are.
Creating an alter ego gives yousomething else to believe in
and grow into, and it's alsoanother way to challenge those
negative thoughts.
This is a methodology that Ioften use with kids struggling
with OCD obsessive-compulsivedisorder in therapy.
Today, with the huge uproar ofMarvel superheroes, many of
(09:01):
which have an alter ego, so Iwould encourage kids to channel
their inner superhero.
This works for everyone, notjust those struggling with their
mental health.
The main idea is to imagineourselves as a different
character to get the results wewant.
The alter ego challenges yourcurrent view of yourself and,
(09:25):
for simplicity, we'll refer tothat as the ego.
The ego is the inner critic,the part of you that plays out
the endless cognitivedistortions, has perceived
limitations and preconceivednotions about who you are.
It can even show up as theimposter syndrome.
Here's an example of aself-talk between the ego and
(09:47):
the alter ego.
The ego says I'm not good atthat, I'm not going to try.
The alter ego says how do youknow?
If you don't try, let's test it.
The ego says what if peoplelaugh at me?
The alter ego says let themthink what they want.
I won't let their opinions getin the way of me trying to live
(10:09):
my best life.
The ego says what if I fail?
The alter ego says what if Idon't?
And even if I do, at least Iknow I gave it a shot.
The alter ego is a clearlyself-defined character of what
you want to see more of from youand how you want to show up,
especially when faced with achallenging situation.
(10:31):
It's the voice you invent andgrow into that aligns with your
best and most authentic self,the voice that helps you balance
out the negative self-talk.
It acts as a distinct conceptthat you can begin to believe in
.
As you know, repeated thoughtsbecome beliefs, which leads us
to act on them.
Some other benefits of havingan alter ego it can help you
(10:54):
step out of your comfort zone.
Having an alter ego can be veryempowering and self-validating.
You can channel your gifts andtalents through your alter ego.
An alter ego can also give yousome perspective on your
circumstances and it can bringawareness to many of your blind
spots around behavioral patternsand things that no longer serve
you and, honestly, having analter ego can make life a lot
(11:17):
more fun.
Now I want to talk a little bitabout personality tests, because
I know that's a huge thing inour society Now.
Personality tests are flawed.
The plethora of personalitytests, while great and
fascinating, it can be fun Iactually find them dangerous for
some, as it can trap us intolimiting labels and concepts
(11:41):
about ourselves.
This is also another reason whyI am very reluctant to provide
my patients with mental healthdiagnoses.
I hear it all the time in mypractice People who have taken
these tests, such as theMyers-Briggs, or diagnosed
themselves with a personalitydisorder or they'll say things
like I'm an, I'm an introvert,I'm borderline or whatever.
(12:06):
Why would you let these labelsdefine who you are and why would
you allow these tests and theresults from them to place
limitations on you?
They're there to inform you ofcertain things, but they don't
define who you are.
It's not that these can't behelpful, but they also have the
potential to lock us in into anunhelpful, maladaptive belief
(12:28):
about ourselves that ultimatelylead to a fixed mindset and
other dangerous, self-fulfillingprophecies.
In other words, we tend to actout our own predictions, beliefs
, and make them true.
When you strongly identify withsomething, your behaviors tend
to follow that.
So in my practice, I encouragepeople to create alter egos
(12:52):
instead of taking personalitytests.
The alter ego is based on acareful examination about your
future self an unwritten andlimitless self, in building a
bridge for that self to driveyour current behaviors, not your
former self.
So creating an alter ego isself-defined, more personalized,
proactive and requires morecritical thinking and insight
(13:16):
extracted from self-reflectionand self-exploration.
That it requires more work, butyou're worth it and you should
know that.
So let's get to it.
Creating that alter ego Now.
Have you ever felt moreconfident when you put on your
favorite outfit, maybe even auniform or a power suit?
(13:37):
Perhaps you have a song thatyou sometimes imagine playing in
your mind as you take on achallenge?
Maybe you've seen how a childbehaves differently during
imaginative play while wearing asuperhero costume.
Or maybe you felt a strangesense of empowerment while
wearing an actual superherocostume during Halloween.
(13:58):
Whatever that is, the result isthe same it brings out the best
in a person.
Creating an alter ego is notvery different from these
examples and it's quite simple,just like writing a character
for a movie or a storybook.
Bye these following steps.
Start identifying major areasof your life that you struggle
(14:21):
in or want to improve in, andthen identify the behaviors and
attitudes that you currentlyshow up with.
Then identify the behaviors andattitudes that you need to
succeed or would like to seemore of from yourself, and then
construct the personality ofyour alter ego based on the
identified behaviors, attitudesand characteristics.
(14:41):
Give it a name.
Identify your call to action.
Basically, when is your alterego needed?
Summon your alter ego is thefinal step.
So I want you to think ofSuperman.
He is Clark Kent on aday-to-day basis, but when
danger is afoot, he transformsinto Superman to do what he
(15:05):
needs to do.
This is just the beginning.
Your alter ego does not have tobe perfect.
Just like you, your alter egois ever-evolving.
Understand that the alter egois developed to help you move
forward with the hero's journey.
Every hero goes through ajourney where they will face
challenges, overcome them andlearn more about how to harness
(15:28):
and refine their uniquesuperpowers.
Our point is take your alterego to the streets.
You need to practice anddiscover how to trigger your
transformation, to learn how toturn those superpowers on when
you need them.
There is really only one personin the way of you tapping into
your capabilities and that's you, and you are the only person
(15:50):
who can move yourself out of theway so you can perform at your
peak.
The alter ego is not aboutcreating a fosque mask, facade
or faking it.
It's about finding the heroalready inside you to overcome
the self-doubt, negativity andinsecurity that holds you back.
Your alter ego can be thesecret identity that stands
(16:13):
beside you and shifts yourmindset, empowering you to
ultimately rise, to become yourbest self.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Thanks for tuning in
to Mind Manners with Albert
Nguyen.
We hope you found value in thisepisode.
If you'd like to work withAlbert one-on-one, visit
optimindcounselingcom to learnmore about his private practice.
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(16:42):
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