August 4, 2025 • 20 mins
**🎙️ Podcast Show Notes:
What determines whether you're merely existing or truly living a fulfilled life? The answer lies in understanding if you're a "grower" or a "grinder" – a distinction that transcends job titles and applies to everyone touching your business ecosystem.
🔹Do you enjoy the hard work you do daily, but yet feel unfulfilled?
🔹Have you ever felt like you were destined for more, but not sure what that is, or how to get there?
🔹Are you just "grinding" through your workdays, or are you actively "growing"?Â
In this week’s episode, with a helpful message about the “Six Human Needs” from world-renown leader Tony Robbins, we tackle a crucial question that impacts every role in the collision repair ecosystem, from the paint booth to the front office and every supplier that touches your business. Host- Rick Selover shares his own journey—from a “grinder” to “grower” and business owner—to illustrate the difference. Along with powerful insights from Tony Robbins' framework on human needs, revealing why growth & contribution is needed for true fulfillment. This episode is a must-listen for anyone who feels stuck in a routine and wants to find greater purpose and satisfaction in their career.
3 Key Takeaways:
- Grinding vs. Growing: Understand the core difference between grinding—doing the same tasks daily—and growing, which involves seeking new challenges and skills.
- Beyond the Paycheck: Discover why fulfilling your basic needs for certainty and security is just the first step. True purpose comes from growth and contributing to others.
- Your Journey Starts Now: Learn that everyone, at any stage of their career, can shift from a grinder to a grower to find lasting career satisfaction.
Â
Ready to move beyond grinding? Join me on this journey to growth and fulfillment. Visit https://rickselover.com/contact/for a free consultation to explore how coaching might help you transition from “grinder” to “grower” in your professional or personal life.
Join our Mind Wrench mailing list! 👉 https://bit.ly/3DGNM9o
Need one-on-one Mindset or Personal Development coaching? – drop me a note @ Personal Coaching – Rick Selover
👉 CLICK HERE FOR 50% OFF YOUR FIRST MONTH OF COACHING!
(use PROMO code FREE50 in the message box!)
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Over the past several years, something I've noticed
in our industry is that thereseems to be two types of people
or two types of movement in thegeneral direction of our lives.
Either we're growers or we'regrinders.
Now, this may sound like I'mreferring to shop owners and
technicians, but I'm not.
I'm referring to all positionson the team fact.
I'm talking about all thestakeholders to this business,
(00:23):
to your business, the vendors,the manufacturers, the suppliers
, parts people, softwareproviders, In fact, everyone
that touches your company, itapplies the same to them.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Welcome to the MindWrench Podcast with your
host, rick Sellover, where minoradjustments produce major
improvements in mindset,personal growth and success.
This is the place to be everyMonday, where we make small
improvements and take positiveactions in our business and
personal lives that will make amajor impact in our success.
Next-level growth and qualityof life make a major impact in
(01:05):
our success.
Next-level growth and qualityof life.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Hey, what's up everybody?
Welcome to the MindWrenchPodcast.
I'm your host, rick Salone.
Thanks so much for stopping in.
If you're a returning listenerand haven't done so already,
please take a minute and clickthe follow or subscribe button
and then rate and review theshow.
When you rate and review theshow, the algorithms for Apple,
spotify, google Podcasts,iheartradio, amazon Music and
(01:28):
all the other platforms will seethat it's valuable and show it
to more people that have neverseen it before, and hopefully it
can help them too.
I would really, really, reallyappreciate your help, sharing
this word with your friends andfamily as well, and if you're a
brand new listener, welcome.
I hope you find something ofvalue here that helps you in
your personal or professionallife as well.
Please make sure to click thesubscribe or follow button so
(01:50):
you never miss another episode.
Over the past several years,something I've noticed in our
industry is that there seems tobe two types of people or two
types of movement in the generaldirection of our lives.
Either we're growers or we'regrinders.
Now, this may sound like I'mreferring to shop owners and
technicians, but I'm not.
I'm referring to all positionson the team.
(02:12):
In fact, I'm talking about allthe stakeholders to this
business, to your business thevendors, the manufacturers, the
suppliers, parts people,software providers, in fact,
everyone that touches yourcompany.
It applies the same to them.
Now, growers are the ones thatare constantly learning new
things, taking new challenges ortrying new tactics or starting
(02:34):
new businesses or adding somenew services.
These are the men and womenthat don't stay comfortable or
content with where they're at.
They thrive to expand.
They do more than they did inthe past.
They reach new heights, theymaster something new.
Little do they know they'realso filling a basic human need.
Then there's the grinders, thehard-working ones, the men and
(02:56):
women that keep their head down,nose to the grindstone, getting
shit done, staying busy, justworking at whatever job they
have.
These are the folks that builtthe foundation of our country,
the ones that keep the wheelsturning, keep the production
lines moving, filling the orders, delivering the goods.
Remember that old Dunkin' Donutcommercials Time to make the
(03:17):
donuts.
Well, these are the grinders.
They aren't looking for thenext step on the ladder or to
one day take over the business.
They just want to work hardtoday, go home, eat, play with
the kids, maybe watch some TV,go to bed and get up.
Tomorrow and put in anotherhard day's work all over again,
keep grinding, rinse and repeat,all the while filling a
(03:40):
different basic human need.
Now don't get me wrong.
There is nothing wrong with onegroup or the other.
Not one's better than the other.
This world needs both of them.
Sometimes we live our lives instages of both of these, and
they both scratch the itch of abasic human need that we all
have, but only one of them leadsto fulfillment in life.
(04:00):
To help give some context and aclearer understanding of what
I'm describing, I want to sharea short message from Tony
Robbins, someone that's earnedmy highest level of respect just
for the sheer amount ofeducation and contribution he
provides, that explains thebasic human needs I'm referring
to, and that he has taught foryears, more specifically, the
six basic human needs.
(04:21):
Now, after this clip from Tony,I'm going to circle back and
finish my thoughts on this, tieit all together and, in my
personal opinion, to a veryimportant point, and I want you
to understand it can make amassive difference in the
quality of your lives.
Now let's listen to Tony in hisown words, explaining these six
human needs.
Here's Tony.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
So let's see what we know so far.
We know four of the six needs.
The last two I'm going to tellyou in a minute, because they're
so clear.
What's the first of the sixhuman needs?
Get it in your body, sit up inyour chair, say it out loud Go
Certainty.
Who has a need for certainty?
Who?
Everyone?
The only difference in peopleis which of these six needs they
make number one and two throughsix.
Two through six priority andyour belief, your map of how to
(05:07):
meet it.
Can you meet certainty in a waythat's totally destructive, but
in the moment it works, yes orno?
What's a negative way you meetcertainty?
What's one of them on your listthat, when you're uncertain,
that you do?
That really isn't good for you,but it works.
Say it out loud.
How many had eating on yourlist?
How many had smoking on yourlist?
How many had smoking on yourlist?
How many had drinking on yourlist?
How many got pissed off on yourlist?
Make sure you're certain.
(05:29):
Okay, what's the second humanneed?
The need for what?
What is it?
Who needs uncertainty?
Who needs variety?
Who needs surprise?
Who?
Everyone.
And you know what.
If things are going too good,you'll things up just to create
some variety.
Some of you think life's aboutbalance.
You say to you I want life.
(05:49):
I don't want life to be up anddown like this, I want my life
to be a straight line.
Well, if you go to the doctorand they hook you up and you're
a straight line, what does thatmean Death?
We need variety to feel alive.
Now, I know some of us like tohave less up and downs Wouldn't
be a bad thing every now andthen.
But we go through seasons andphases and some seasons are more
(06:12):
intense than others and onceyou make it through some tough
seasons, you can handle it.
You can turn it into a rollercoaster you enjoy instead of
something that's killing you.
That's part of the game.
What's the third human need?
The need for a feeling of what.
Another word for that is tofeel unique, to feel special, to
feel important, to feel needed.
All of those are the same basicneed.
(06:32):
Who has that need?
Who?
Some people say I don't needthat, I don't need all that
significance, I don't need moneyand cars.
I'm a Christian, I'm a Jew, I'ma Muslim, right, but the truth
of the matter is, do some peopleuse religion to be significant?
Yes or no?
And will people kill otherpeople in order to feel
significant, yes or no, all inthe name of whatever they want
(06:55):
to make up based on theirblueprint?
What's the fourth human need?
We all need connection, andwhat?
Who needs it?
How can you get it?
Unlimited ways, the most commonway that takes the least amount
of risk, have a big problem.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
If you're looking for a competitive edge for your
business or a more effectivejumpstart to your personal
development, I'll make yourfirst step super simple.
It is a fact that an incrediblenumber of the most successful
business owners, nearly half ofthe Fortune 500 companies,
top-earning professionalathletes, entertainers and
industry leaders likeMicrosoft's Bill Gates, former
President Bill Clinton, oprahWinfrey, richard Branson,
(07:33):
amazon's Jeff Bezos andSalesforce's Mark Benioff all
have one thing in common theyall have at least one coach and
some have several that they workwith on a consistent basis,
someone that helps guide, mentorand support them, challenge
them, help them set and achievegoals that move them forward and
then hold them accountable tofollow through, driving personal
(07:53):
and professional growth.
Working with a coach has manysubstantial benefits.
Just for an example, 80% ofcoaching clients report improved
self-esteem or self-confidencethanks to coaching.
99% of individuals andcompanies that hire a coach
report being very satisfied and96% would do it again.
If, deep down, you know it'stime to make those improvements
(08:15):
in your business, your personallife, that you've kicked down
the road year after year.
If you're tired of knowingthere's a better version of you
waiting to shine, but unsure ofhow to bring that version to
light.
If you're tired of wanting toenjoy a more successful business
but not sure how to start.
And if you don't want to goanother 12 months without better
results but you don't want togo it alone, then take the first
(08:35):
step.
It's super simple.
Sometimes talking to the rightperson can make all the
difference.
Go to wwwrixelovercom contactand I'll set you up with a free
consultation.
Call with me to see ifone-on-one coaching is right for
you.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Because if you get up and you go, I have this problem
and I do these things and thisand that, and people don't
connect with you, you can go.
They don't understand that youcan connect with yourself.
Feeling sorry for yourself isthe most common way people get
connection, because when youfeel sorry for yourself, usually
you take care of everybody else.
But now, even though it feelsbad, at least you're feeling for
yourself.
(09:10):
And it's such an addictionBecause it's certain you know it
works right, because you knowit and it's connecting with
yourself.
And if you have a big problem,it's significant as hell.
Guess what?
Now you're totally addicted toyour problem.
It's not that your problemisn't real, it's that you're not
going to change your problemBecause you don't understand
what I've been through, and itwould be true if they don't
(09:33):
understand it.
But the reason you stay withthe problem is it meets your
needs.
Listen to me If you've got aproblem that you're smart enough
to know how to change or dealwith and you're not, it's
because you're meeting yourneeds with your problem, not in
a good way, but in a way.
How many follow this, say I?
And all it takes for you to beaddicted is for your brain to
(09:54):
link up that behaving that way,thinking that way or having that
problem meets at least how manyThree of those needs and you're
going to be addicted.
Only way you're going to getout of it is get addicted to
something better, somethingthat's good for you, good for
others long term.
Then you deserve to have yourneeds met.
You just want to meet them in abetter quality way.
That's all Make sense.
Now, those first four needs Icall the needs of the
(10:16):
personality.
Right.
They're the needs of yourpersonality.
And let me tell you somethingEvery person in this room, any
person alive, will find a way toget certainty, even if they
have to make it up, even if theyhave to make up a story.
Every person in this room willfind a way to get variety.
Every person will find a way tobe significant.
If they can't do it any otherway, they'll get significant at
some game.
Or they'll get significant atwriting things that tear other
(10:38):
people down on the web, and theycan do it instantly.
Or they'll get significance bybeing in a position where they
tear somebody else down and talkabout how un-f***able they are,
because really they feelinsecure, uncertain and
insignificant.
So they tear somebody else outto feel certain and secure and
significant.
Everyone's going to do it.
The only question is are yougoing to do it in a way that's
positive, neutral or negative?
(10:59):
It's the only question.
You're going to do it.
But the final two needs noteverybody meets.
These final two needs arespiritual needs, not spiritual
in a religious sense.
Spiritual meaning your spiritfeels alive when they're met and
they are determined whetheryou're fulfilled or not.
The first needs will make youfeel okay.
These needs make you feelfulfilled.
Number five you must grow.
(11:19):
We all know we either grow orwe what.
That's it.
If your relationship isn'tgrowing, it's dying.
If your business is not growing, can you hold a business
stagnant?
Yes or no?
Hell no.
Right now we've watched thiseconomy and we've watched people
talk about the economy is goingto turn around.
(11:39):
It can't possibly turn aroundwithout growth in jobs.
It's driven.
70% of this economy is drivenby spending.
You can't spend when you don'thave a job.
So the bottom line is if it'snot growing, it's dying.
And, by the way, some thingsdie off so something new can
grow.
It's a season we're goingthrough.
It doesn't last forever.
(11:59):
Summer's not forever.
Fall's not forever.
Dark-ass winters aren't forever.
Now how dark it is.
This isn't forever.
You know it and I know it.
But you know what.
You can make your seasonquicker when you change the
meaning, like she just did.
Right, you play the cardsyou've been gotten.
I'm going to play these cards,whatever they are.
I'm going to own this.
I'm not going to let the worldcontrol me anymore.
(12:20):
I'm taking it back.
How many follow, say I?
So you've got to grow.
I really believe the universedoesn't care if you're happy.
It cares if you grow, becauseif you grow, the sixth thing
becomes possible.
You have something to give.
We only have something to give.
That's special if we grow.
We've got to grow and give.
If you just give to yourself,you don't feel alive.
(12:40):
We've got to contribute.
Number six is contribution.
You've got to contribute beyondyourself to feel like your life
is meaningful.
Life's not just me, it's aboutwe, and we know it.
The first thing that happenswhen you're excited about
something, you're real excited.
How many of you think ofsomeone when you're excited
about who, you want to share itwith right away.
How many got something likethis in your life, say I?
(13:00):
Why do you want to share it?
Because by sharing it, you'recontributing something.
You're sharing something.
It grows Some people, wheneverthey've got a problem, they want
to share it too, but it's theway to make this connection.
So these are the six needs.
So now watch.
Remember I said there were twodifferences in people.
We have the same six needs.
So here's a fireman on 9-11who's going to run up into that
(13:26):
World Trade Building and heknows he's going to die.
Were there some men and womenthat knew they were going to die
?
Sent people down, kept going upto save other people yes or no?
Why?
Why would a person be willingto give their life for a
stranger?
Sent people down, kept going upto save other people?
Yes or no?
Why?
Why would a person be willingto give their life for a
stranger?
There's only six reasons.
(13:48):
Take a wild guess which oneyou'll give your life up for.
Significance, love,contribution.
A mother, a daughter will takethe bullet themselves instead of
let their child take them.
That's love.
That's a love most people don'tknow.
Human beings have thisincredible capacity to step
(14:12):
outside themselves for somethinggreater.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
All right, I hope you enjoyed that brief overview
from Tony on the six human needswe all have and, more
importantly, how the last twogrowth and contribution are the
most important ones to living afulfilled life.
Now I want to circle back towhat I said earlier how
sometimes you can be in stagesof both growth and grinding.
How can that be?
How would I know which one Irealistically am?
(14:37):
Okay, first let's define thesebehaviors.
So number one the grinder.
Here's a few signs of you beinga grinder.
Right, maybe you've had thesame job or position for several
decades.
Maybe you have not learned anynew skills or had any training
done for work for the last fiveyears.
Maybe you have no desire to trysomething different or learn a
(14:59):
new skill.
You're happy just to keep doingwhat you've been doing, or
you're just waiting to get youryears in for retirement.
Or you view your job as a meansto an end, just working to pay
the bills, no more, no less.
Your views on life or mindsetmay be hey, this is all I have
access to, or this is as good asit gets for me, or this is all
(15:20):
I'm capable of Now.
Number two the grower.
Or being growth driven.
As an adult?
You have, maybe.
Have you ever taken music ordance or singing or art lessons?
Maybe you've learned a newskill or a hobby somewhere along
the way.
Or if you've ever played sportsas an adult or done extreme
(15:40):
sports, have you ever taken anextracurricular class at a
community college?
Have you ever started your ownbusiness?
Have you ever completelychanged not just your job but
your career?
Or have you ever been a coachor a mentor for others?
Have you ever moved to adifferent city, different state,
different country?
Or do you view life as anendless set of opportunities?
(16:02):
Now you can be a grinder for ashort period or long period of
time and then become a grower,but it really doesn't work in
the opposite direction right Now.
In my own journey, I spent myfirst decades of work life
grinding until my 40s.
Then, kind of unknowingly,started my journey of growth.
So, from ages, let's say, 14 to30, I was just grinding it out
(16:26):
in several various labor jobslike restaurants I worked
landscaping, machine shop andpainting of all types.
My first steps into growth,though, were going from going to
a painter to a job orsalesperson, and there I started
learning things, having to goto classes like performance
classes, webinars, humanbehavior classes, paint classes.
(16:47):
We even did role-playing insome of the advanced education
classes.
Now, I didn't realize at thetime that I was transitioning
from a grinder to a grower, butit just felt inside like I was
going in the right direction,right that this was more
fulfilling than what I was doingbefore.
Several years later, I shiftedfrom a job or salesperson to a
(17:09):
leadership position.
I had to manage a sales andtechnical team, and that's where
I had to learn things like goalsetting and achieving, leading
by example, crisis management,building key relationships,
handling issues.
This was even more challenging,but extremely satisfying.
Now, once you're in growth mode,something unique happens.
(17:30):
You start seeking out otherways to grow.
Could just be reading, could belistening to educational tapes
or podcasts or things like that.
I had the strong urge to teachothers about the refinish trade.
Just something inside me wasdriving me, telling me I should
probably try to do this, and Iwas able to secure a position as
an instructor at a localcommunity college that had an
(17:52):
auto body program, and there Ilearned how to build out lessons
plans, shop activities toreally build flow into a
complete day of instructionalactivities and involve public
speaking.
So I had a lot to learn, which,at the time, was the most
rewarding thing I'd ever done.
Then, in 2020, during the earlydays of COVID, I joined the
(18:13):
knowledge industry, took acourse with Tony Robbins and
Dean Graziosi, and that's how Iended up starting this podcast
and my coaching business.
You know, I learned aboutthings like the power of the
mindsets and how to controlyourself and use what you have
your inner strengths and yourtools to turn that into some
type of business.
You know.
So I learned how to develop,build a podcast, produce it,
(18:35):
host it all those other things Iwould have had no idea how to
do, but I had to grow through itand I had to learn it.
And I developed a one-on-onecoaching program which is
successful today, and I enjoydoing that.
The fulfillment and the feelingof contribution is so strong I
couldn't imagine not doing whatI'm doing today.
So the three things I'velearned from this is number one
once you start growing and stopgrinding, you will never go back
(18:57):
or be satisfied with justgrinding away every day.
And number two just like aseedling, once you hit a little
water, fertilizer and sunshine,you never know how far your
growth will reach.
You'll be absolutely amazed atwhat you can accomplish.
Number three every one of us iscapable of, and has access to,
the basic human need of growth,but contribution and truly
(19:19):
living a fulfilled life isimpossible without it.
I've said it in previousepisodes before, but I truly
believe we're all designed togrow throughout our entire lives
.
We're not designed to besedentary or content with the
status quo.
I think spending time grindingaway is good for building
character and a strong workethic, but allowing yourself to
grow and expand yourcapabilities to contribute to
(19:41):
your world is really why we'reall here.
Well, that's all I had for youtoday.
Thanks again for tuning in.
I really appreciate yoursupport and I hope you have a
great week.
I can always be reached atwwwrickselovercom, where you can
find all my social media linkspodcast episodes, blog posts and
much more.
Over the past several years, something I've noticed
in our industry is that thereseems to be two types of people
or two types of movement in thegeneral direction of our lives.
Either we're growers or we'regrinders.
Now, this may sound like I'mreferring to shop owners and
technicians, but I'm not.
I'm referring to all positionson the team fact.
I'm talking about all thestakeholders to this business,
(00:23):
to your business, the vendors,the manufacturers, the suppliers
, parts people, softwareproviders, In fact, everyone
that touches your company, itapplies the same to them.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Welcome to the MindWrench Podcast with your
host, rick Sellover, where minoradjustments produce major
improvements in mindset,personal growth and success.
This is the place to be everyMonday, where we make small
improvements and take positiveactions in our business and
personal lives that will make amajor impact in our success.
Next-level growth and qualityof life make a major impact in
(01:05):
our success.
Next-level growth and qualityof life.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Hey, what's up everybody?
Welcome to the MindWrenchPodcast.
I'm your host, rick Salone.
Thanks so much for stopping in.
If you're a returning listenerand haven't done so already,
please take a minute and clickthe follow or subscribe button
and then rate and review theshow.
When you rate and review theshow, the algorithms for Apple,
spotify, google Podcasts,iheartradio, amazon Music and
(01:28):
all the other platforms will seethat it's valuable and show it
to more people that have neverseen it before, and hopefully it
can help them too.
I would really, really, reallyappreciate your help, sharing
this word with your friends andfamily as well, and if you're a
brand new listener, welcome.
I hope you find something ofvalue here that helps you in
your personal or professionallife as well.
Please make sure to click thesubscribe or follow button so
(01:50):
you never miss another episode.
Over the past several years,something I've noticed in our
industry is that there seems tobe two types of people or two
types of movement in the generaldirection of our lives.
Either we're growers or we'regrinders.
Now, this may sound like I'mreferring to shop owners and
technicians, but I'm not.
I'm referring to all positionson the team.
(02:12):
In fact, I'm talking about allthe stakeholders to this
business, to your business thevendors, the manufacturers, the
suppliers, parts people,software providers, in fact,
everyone that touches yourcompany.
It applies the same to them.
Now, growers are the ones thatare constantly learning new
things, taking new challenges ortrying new tactics or starting
(02:34):
new businesses or adding somenew services.
These are the men and womenthat don't stay comfortable or
content with where they're at.
They thrive to expand.
They do more than they did inthe past.
They reach new heights, theymaster something new.
Little do they know they'realso filling a basic human need.
Then there's the grinders, thehard-working ones, the men and
(02:56):
women that keep their head down,nose to the grindstone, getting
shit done, staying busy, justworking at whatever job they
have.
These are the folks that builtthe foundation of our country,
the ones that keep the wheelsturning, keep the production
lines moving, filling the orders, delivering the goods.
Remember that old Dunkin' Donutcommercials Time to make the
(03:17):
donuts.
Well, these are the grinders.
They aren't looking for thenext step on the ladder or to
one day take over the business.
They just want to work hardtoday, go home, eat, play with
the kids, maybe watch some TV,go to bed and get up.
Tomorrow and put in anotherhard day's work all over again,
keep grinding, rinse and repeat,all the while filling a
(03:40):
different basic human need.
Now don't get me wrong.
There is nothing wrong with onegroup or the other.
Not one's better than the other.
This world needs both of them.
Sometimes we live our lives instages of both of these, and
they both scratch the itch of abasic human need that we all
have, but only one of them leadsto fulfillment in life.
(04:00):
To help give some context and aclearer understanding of what
I'm describing, I want to sharea short message from Tony
Robbins, someone that's earnedmy highest level of respect just
for the sheer amount ofeducation and contribution he
provides, that explains thebasic human needs I'm referring
to, and that he has taught foryears, more specifically, the
six basic human needs.
(04:21):
Now, after this clip from Tony,I'm going to circle back and
finish my thoughts on this, tieit all together and, in my
personal opinion, to a veryimportant point, and I want you
to understand it can make amassive difference in the
quality of your lives.
Now let's listen to Tony in hisown words, explaining these six
human needs.
Here's Tony.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
So let's see what we know so far.
We know four of the six needs.
The last two I'm going to tellyou in a minute, because they're
so clear.
What's the first of the sixhuman needs?
Get it in your body, sit up inyour chair, say it out loud Go
Certainty.
Who has a need for certainty?
Who?
Everyone?
The only difference in peopleis which of these six needs they
make number one and two throughsix.
Two through six priority andyour belief, your map of how to
(05:07):
meet it.
Can you meet certainty in a waythat's totally destructive, but
in the moment it works, yes orno?
What's a negative way you meetcertainty?
What's one of them on your listthat, when you're uncertain,
that you do?
That really isn't good for you,but it works.
Say it out loud.
How many had eating on yourlist?
How many had smoking on yourlist?
How many had smoking on yourlist?
How many had drinking on yourlist?
How many got pissed off on yourlist?
Make sure you're certain.
(05:29):
Okay, what's the second humanneed?
The need for what?
What is it?
Who needs uncertainty?
Who needs variety?
Who needs surprise?
Who?
Everyone.
And you know what.
If things are going too good,you'll things up just to create
some variety.
Some of you think life's aboutbalance.
You say to you I want life.
(05:49):
I don't want life to be up anddown like this, I want my life
to be a straight line.
Well, if you go to the doctorand they hook you up and you're
a straight line, what does thatmean Death?
We need variety to feel alive.
Now, I know some of us like tohave less up and downs Wouldn't
be a bad thing every now andthen.
But we go through seasons andphases and some seasons are more
(06:12):
intense than others and onceyou make it through some tough
seasons, you can handle it.
You can turn it into a rollercoaster you enjoy instead of
something that's killing you.
That's part of the game.
What's the third human need?
The need for a feeling of what.
Another word for that is tofeel unique, to feel special, to
feel important, to feel needed.
All of those are the same basicneed.
(06:32):
Who has that need?
Who?
Some people say I don't needthat, I don't need all that
significance, I don't need moneyand cars.
I'm a Christian, I'm a Jew, I'ma Muslim, right, but the truth
of the matter is, do some peopleuse religion to be significant?
Yes or no?
And will people kill otherpeople in order to feel
significant, yes or no, all inthe name of whatever they want
(06:55):
to make up based on theirblueprint?
What's the fourth human need?
We all need connection, andwhat?
Who needs it?
How can you get it?
Unlimited ways, the most commonway that takes the least amount
of risk, have a big problem.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
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(07:53):
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(08:15):
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Speaker 2 (08:50):
Because if you get up and you go, I have this problem
and I do these things and thisand that, and people don't
connect with you, you can go.
They don't understand that youcan connect with yourself.
Feeling sorry for yourself isthe most common way people get
connection, because when youfeel sorry for yourself, usually
you take care of everybody else.
But now, even though it feelsbad, at least you're feeling for
yourself.
(09:10):
And it's such an addictionBecause it's certain you know it
works right, because you knowit and it's connecting with
yourself.
And if you have a big problem,it's significant as hell.
Guess what?
Now you're totally addicted toyour problem.
It's not that your problemisn't real, it's that you're not
going to change your problemBecause you don't understand
what I've been through, and itwould be true if they don't
(09:33):
understand it.
But the reason you stay withthe problem is it meets your
needs.
Listen to me If you've got aproblem that you're smart enough
to know how to change or dealwith and you're not, it's
because you're meeting yourneeds with your problem, not in
a good way, but in a way.
How many follow this, say I?
And all it takes for you to beaddicted is for your brain to
(09:54):
link up that behaving that way,thinking that way or having that
problem meets at least how manyThree of those needs and you're
going to be addicted.
Only way you're going to getout of it is get addicted to
something better, somethingthat's good for you, good for
others long term.
Then you deserve to have yourneeds met.
You just want to meet them in abetter quality way.
That's all Make sense.
Now, those first four needs Icall the needs of the
(10:16):
personality.
Right.
They're the needs of yourpersonality.
And let me tell you somethingEvery person in this room, any
person alive, will find a way toget certainty, even if they
have to make it up, even if theyhave to make up a story.
Every person in this room willfind a way to get variety.
Every person will find a way tobe significant.
If they can't do it any otherway, they'll get significant at
some game.
Or they'll get significant atwriting things that tear other
(10:38):
people down on the web, and theycan do it instantly.
Or they'll get significance bybeing in a position where they
tear somebody else down and talkabout how un-f***able they are,
because really they feelinsecure, uncertain and
insignificant.
So they tear somebody else outto feel certain and secure and
significant.
Everyone's going to do it.
The only question is are yougoing to do it in a way that's
positive, neutral or negative?
(10:59):
It's the only question.
You're going to do it.
But the final two needs noteverybody meets.
These final two needs arespiritual needs, not spiritual
in a religious sense.
Spiritual meaning your spiritfeels alive when they're met and
they are determined whetheryou're fulfilled or not.
The first needs will make youfeel okay.
These needs make you feelfulfilled.
Number five you must grow.
(11:19):
We all know we either grow orwe what.
That's it.
If your relationship isn'tgrowing, it's dying.
If your business is not growing, can you hold a business
stagnant?
Yes or no?
Hell no.
Right now we've watched thiseconomy and we've watched people
talk about the economy is goingto turn around.
(11:39):
It can't possibly turn aroundwithout growth in jobs.
It's driven.
70% of this economy is drivenby spending.
You can't spend when you don'thave a job.
So the bottom line is if it'snot growing, it's dying.
And, by the way, some thingsdie off so something new can
grow.
It's a season we're goingthrough.
It doesn't last forever.
(11:59):
Summer's not forever.
Fall's not forever.
Dark-ass winters aren't forever.
Now how dark it is.
This isn't forever.
You know it and I know it.
But you know what.
You can make your seasonquicker when you change the
meaning, like she just did.
Right, you play the cardsyou've been gotten.
I'm going to play these cards,whatever they are.
I'm going to own this.
I'm not going to let the worldcontrol me anymore.
(12:20):
I'm taking it back.
How many follow, say I?
So you've got to grow.
I really believe the universedoesn't care if you're happy.
It cares if you grow, becauseif you grow, the sixth thing
becomes possible.
You have something to give.
We only have something to give.
That's special if we grow.
We've got to grow and give.
If you just give to yourself,you don't feel alive.
(12:40):
We've got to contribute.
Number six is contribution.
You've got to contribute beyondyourself to feel like your life
is meaningful.
Life's not just me, it's aboutwe, and we know it.
The first thing that happenswhen you're excited about
something, you're real excited.
How many of you think ofsomeone when you're excited
about who, you want to share itwith right away.
How many got something likethis in your life, say I?
(13:00):
Why do you want to share it?
Because by sharing it, you'recontributing something.
You're sharing something.
It grows Some people, wheneverthey've got a problem, they want
to share it too, but it's theway to make this connection.
So these are the six needs.
So now watch.
Remember I said there were twodifferences in people.
We have the same six needs.
So here's a fireman on 9-11who's going to run up into that
(13:26):
World Trade Building and heknows he's going to die.
Were there some men and womenthat knew they were going to die
?
Sent people down, kept going upto save other people yes or no?
Why?
Why would a person be willingto give their life for a
stranger?
Sent people down, kept going upto save other people?
Yes or no?
Why?
Why would a person be willingto give their life for a
stranger?
There's only six reasons.
(13:48):
Take a wild guess which oneyou'll give your life up for.
Significance, love,contribution.
A mother, a daughter will takethe bullet themselves instead of
let their child take them.
That's love.
That's a love most people don'tknow.
Human beings have thisincredible capacity to step
(14:12):
outside themselves for somethinggreater.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
All right, I hope you enjoyed that brief overview
from Tony on the six human needswe all have and, more
importantly, how the last twogrowth and contribution are the
most important ones to living afulfilled life.
Now I want to circle back towhat I said earlier how
sometimes you can be in stagesof both growth and grinding.
How can that be?
How would I know which one Irealistically am?
(14:37):
Okay, first let's define thesebehaviors.
So number one the grinder.
Here's a few signs of you beinga grinder.
Right, maybe you've had thesame job or position for several
decades.
Maybe you have not learned anynew skills or had any training
done for work for the last fiveyears.
Maybe you have no desire to trysomething different or learn a
(14:59):
new skill.
You're happy just to keep doingwhat you've been doing, or
you're just waiting to get youryears in for retirement.
Or you view your job as a meansto an end, just working to pay
the bills, no more, no less.
Your views on life or mindsetmay be hey, this is all I have
access to, or this is as good asit gets for me, or this is all
(15:20):
I'm capable of Now.
Number two the grower.
Or being growth driven.
As an adult?
You have, maybe.
Have you ever taken music ordance or singing or art lessons?
Maybe you've learned a newskill or a hobby somewhere along
the way.
Or if you've ever played sportsas an adult or done extreme
(15:40):
sports, have you ever taken anextracurricular class at a
community college?
Have you ever started your ownbusiness?
Have you ever completelychanged not just your job but
your career?
Or have you ever been a coachor a mentor for others?
Have you ever moved to adifferent city, different state,
different country?
Or do you view life as anendless set of opportunities?
(16:02):
Now you can be a grinder for ashort period or long period of
time and then become a grower,but it really doesn't work in
the opposite direction right Now.
In my own journey, I spent myfirst decades of work life
grinding until my 40s.
Then, kind of unknowingly,started my journey of growth.
So, from ages, let's say, 14 to30, I was just grinding it out
(16:26):
in several various labor jobslike restaurants I worked
landscaping, machine shop andpainting of all types.
My first steps into growth,though, were going from going to
a painter to a job orsalesperson, and there I started
learning things, having to goto classes like performance
classes, webinars, humanbehavior classes, paint classes.
(16:47):
We even did role-playing insome of the advanced education
classes.
Now, I didn't realize at thetime that I was transitioning
from a grinder to a grower, butit just felt inside like I was
going in the right direction,right that this was more
fulfilling than what I was doingbefore.
Several years later, I shiftedfrom a job or salesperson to a
(17:09):
leadership position.
I had to manage a sales andtechnical team, and that's where
I had to learn things like goalsetting and achieving, leading
by example, crisis management,building key relationships,
handling issues.
This was even more challenging,but extremely satisfying.
Now, once you're in growth mode,something unique happens.
(17:30):
You start seeking out otherways to grow.
Could just be reading, could belistening to educational tapes
or podcasts or things like that.
I had the strong urge to teachothers about the refinish trade.
Just something inside me wasdriving me, telling me I should
probably try to do this, and Iwas able to secure a position as
an instructor at a localcommunity college that had an
(17:52):
auto body program, and there Ilearned how to build out lessons
plans, shop activities toreally build flow into a
complete day of instructionalactivities and involve public
speaking.
So I had a lot to learn, which,at the time, was the most
rewarding thing I'd ever done.
Then, in 2020, during the earlydays of COVID, I joined the
(18:13):
knowledge industry, took acourse with Tony Robbins and
Dean Graziosi, and that's how Iended up starting this podcast
and my coaching business.
You know, I learned aboutthings like the power of the
mindsets and how to controlyourself and use what you have
your inner strengths and yourtools to turn that into some
type of business.
You know.
So I learned how to develop,build a podcast, produce it,
(18:35):
host it all those other things Iwould have had no idea how to
do, but I had to grow through itand I had to learn it.
And I developed a one-on-onecoaching program which is
successful today, and I enjoydoing that.
The fulfillment and the feelingof contribution is so strong I
couldn't imagine not doing whatI'm doing today.
So the three things I'velearned from this is number one
once you start growing and stopgrinding, you will never go back
(18:57):
or be satisfied with justgrinding away every day.
And number two just like aseedling, once you hit a little
water, fertilizer and sunshine,you never know how far your
growth will reach.
You'll be absolutely amazed atwhat you can accomplish.
Number three every one of us iscapable of, and has access to,
the basic human need of growth,but contribution and truly
(19:19):
living a fulfilled life isimpossible without it.
I've said it in previousepisodes before, but I truly
believe we're all designed togrow throughout our entire lives
.
We're not designed to besedentary or content with the
status quo.
I think spending time grindingaway is good for building
character and a strong workethic, but allowing yourself to
grow and expand yourcapabilities to contribute to
(19:41):
your world is really why we'reall here.
Well, that's all I had for youtoday.
Thanks again for tuning in.
I really appreciate yoursupport and I hope you have a
great week.
I can always be reached atwwwrickselovercom, where you can
find all my social media linkspodcast episodes, blog posts and
much more.
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