June 20, 2025 • 27 mins
💰 Think you just need a better budget? Think again. Your subconscious beliefs about money might be the real reason you feel stuck financially—and in this episode, we’re digging deep into what’s going on beneath the surface.
From old sayings like “money doesn’t grow on trees” to stories we’ve picked up in childhood or passed down through generations, we all have hidden thoughts that shape our relationship with money. Cheryl shares her own journey of transforming her money mindset, along with clips from her success coach, Karen Mullins, that will help you uncover and rewrite the beliefs holding you back.
BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU’LL DISCOVER:
✔ Why money is just energy—and how that changes everything
 ✔ How to spot limiting money beliefs you didn’t even know you had
 ✔ Ways to reframe debt, spending, and even bills (yes, really)
 ✔ Simple “act as if” habits to help you feel more abundant right now
🎯 OMG Moment: You are already in a relationship with money. The question is—how healthy is it?
Take Action
Try one small act-as-if habit this week: Buy what you want at the grocery store without checking the price, or order your favorite thing at a restaurant without looking at the menu cost. Then check in—how did that feel?
Want some support as you figure this money relationship out? Head over to cherylpfischer.com/coaching and set up a call.
Why This Episode Matters
In midlife, we’re juggling more than ever—supporting kids, aging parents, preparing for retirement—and money worries can feel overwhelming. But when you understand your thoughts about money and shift the energy behind your decisions, you stop living in fear and start creating financial confidence.
🎧 Hit follow now and join us next week to learn how to add new streams of income in midlife (without burning out). And come join the conversation over at Patreon.com/mindyourmidlife —we’re talking about mindset and self image all week long.
Find all podcast and coaching resources at cherylpfischer.com.
Text me to ask a question - I'll answer on the podcast!
🌸 Liked this episode? Share it with fellow midlife women over 40 navigating hormone balance, an empty nest, and self-confidence!
🫶 Love this show? Leave a review to help more women over 50 find us.
đź’ˇWant support through menopause, mindset shifts, or midlife transitions?
Book a free Mindset Coaching / Intro Call: cherylpfischer.com/coaching, and join us in Midlife Pivot on Patreon.
Let’s talk self-care, self-talk, and owning your next chapter—without the “midlife crisis” narrative.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Cheryl Fischer (00:01):
money doesn't grow on trees.
Do you have sayings in yourhead like that that create some
sort of hidden conflict for youabout money?
I think most of us do, to behonest.
I'll give you some more sayingexamples in the episode.
This idea of a mentalrelationship with money and
(00:24):
potentially self-sabotage aroundmoney is, for me, the biggest
thing that I have worked on onmy own mindset, with mindset
coaches and you're going to heara few clips from one of my
coaches today and it's going tobe really powerful for you as
(00:46):
well.
So let's talk about it.
Welcome to Mind your Midlife,your go-to resource for
confidence and success.
One thought at a time, unlikemost advice out there.
We believe that simply tellingyou to believe in yourself or
change your habits isn't enoughto wake up excited about life or
(01:08):
feel truly confident in yourbody.
Each week, you'll gainactionable strategies and oh my
goodness powerful insights tostop feeling stuck and start
loving your midlife.
This is the Mind your Midlifepodcast.
This is the Mind your MidlifePodcast.
Money itself doesn't really haveany meaning, except as a method
(01:35):
of exchanging.
I give money in order to getsomething that I value, and
money is valued by whoever I'mgiving it to, so we're making an
exchange and in fact, in theold old old days, money used to
actually have intrinsic value.
(01:55):
Right, there were gold coinsand silver coins.
Our money doesn't have anyvalue it's paper.
Some countries have reallypretty paper money, but it's
still paper.
Or maybe it's coins, butthey're not made out of silver
or gold.
What happens is we attachmeanings to money and it gets
(02:17):
very much mixed into whetherwe're successful, whether we're
a good person, whether we'remaking appropriate decisions and
who knows what appropriatemeans.
And if we've had experiences inlife where money was scarce,
then that is definitely going tobe mixed in, that there's a
(02:39):
feeling of lack or maybe evenfear or uncertainty, scarcity
around money.
And so at the beginning of theepisode I said money doesn't
grow on trees.
Here's a few more Rich peopleare evil or rich people are
greedy.
You get money by being greedy.
(02:59):
Time is money.
A penny saved is a penny earned.
Spending is quick, earning isslow.
What Earning is slow?
So you could probably come upwith more sayings than that.
When I was growing up, Idefinitely heard the oh yeah,
(03:20):
let me just go pick the moneyoff the money tree in the
backyard so that we can get thattype of thing and most of the
stories like that that we havein our minds come from
experiences we've had aschildren.
Now, I'm not saying that ourparents are to blame.
We do it too and sometimes wemisinterpret experiences where
(03:41):
it's really our fault because wemisinterpreted the whole thing.
So passing out blame is not thepoint here.
What we want to understand isthat you have subconsciously
attached meaning to money andtypically you fall into one of
two groups Either,subconsciously, you believe
(04:04):
money's quite easy to come byand you'll always have plenty,
or the other side, money isdifficult to come by, you never
have enough, and that can lookall sorts of ways.
And I'm guessing if you're inthe money's difficult to come by
group, you're thinking, man,why couldn't I be in?
(04:24):
The money is easy to come bygroup.
It's just our experiences thatwe save into our subconscious
minds and we create this meaning, this relationship between
ourselves and money, and both ofthose sides honestly can skew
our understanding of money.
Those sides honestly can skewour understanding of money.
(04:46):
So what I want to help you withtoday and I'm doing this
episode mainly because, as Isaid at the beginning, this is
one of the things that Iconstantly still work on.
I coach myself on this all thetime.
I'm creating a Patreon myselfon this.
(05:07):
All the time I'm creating aPatreon.
It's free right now, in thesummer, and it's not going to be
free forever.
So I have to be envisioningthat I'm providing value and
people will want this.
Any type of business owner thatyou are for my coaching clients
, for your clients of whateveryour business is you have to
believe that you are providingvalue that they will want and
(05:29):
value paying for.
Because if we believe insteadthat we're kind of taking
someone's money and we feel badabout that, we are not going to
grow, whatever that business is.
Very far, are we?
That subconscious belief isthere.
(05:53):
Now here's an interesting one.
Money is a means of exchange.
But let's take it further.
Money is a flow of energy andit's unlimited.
The first time, my successcoach, karen Mullins, who you're
going to hear from a little ofenergy and it's unlimited.
The first time, my successcoach, karen Mullins, who you're
going to hear from a little bittoday, said that to me.
I kind of I don't know, I don'tknow.
That seems a bit touchy, feely,woo, woo, I don't know.
(06:16):
But if money is a measure ofvalue, a means of exchange,
valuing things, then we couldimagine that it flows back and
forth between people, betweenbusinesses, like an energy, and
so if we're open to it, it'sgoing to flow to us as well.
(06:41):
It's also unlimited.
There is not a limited amountof money in the world.
Being super what is the word I'mlooking for?
Super concrete about it we canprint more money.
Any country can.
That does affect economics, butit's possible.
And then, being a little lessconcrete about it, there is
(07:07):
always a way to make more money.
If you are open to it and youallow yourself to come up with
ideas, there is always a way.
And I think right now, whatconcerns me about our
relationship with money is we'renot in the best economic
environment.
(07:28):
Prices are higher and I hear alot of conversations about it's
so expensive to blank.
It's so expensive to buywhatever we're wanting to buy.
It's so expensive to travelwherever we're wanting to travel
.
No-transcript.
(08:14):
If I'm telling myself andothers all the time that
everything is so expensive, whatam I going to notice when I'm
out in the world or when I'monline?
Everything looks expensive.
Now, I'm not saying if you justflip and tell yourself, hey,
everything's cheap, thensuddenly everything will be
cheap.
No, that's obviously not whatI'm saying, but we focus on a
(08:36):
certain angle of this based onwhat is going on inside our
money beliefs, our mindset aboutmoney.
And one more piece of this iskind of interesting.
So we're in our 40s, our 50s,our 60s and as you're listening
to this, think about the factthat it wasn't until 1975.
(09:00):
I was alive in 1975, although Iwas very young.
You may have been alive in 1975, although I was very young.
You may have been alive in 1975.
It wasn't until 1975 that womencould open bank accounts on
their own without either ahusband or a father's signature.
I'm talking about adult women.
They also couldn't get loanswithout a husband or a father's
(09:25):
signature.
1975, during our lifetime thatjust blows my mind.
So I guess, in that sense, alot of progress has been made,
hasn't it?
But if you think about howshort a time that has been since
women had that bit moreindependence in terms of
(09:46):
managing our own money, thenit's quite likely that we would
have inherited some limitingmoney beliefs from previous
generations.
It's quite likely that ourparents, our grandparents, had
beliefs about money that, justthrough their day-to-day actions
and day-to-day conversation,passed down to us.
(10:09):
For me, it's the money treething.
So what can we do about this?
I don't want to leave you withoh, I must have some crazy stuff
in my head about money.
I'm never going to be able tofix it.
Coaching can help a lot onmoney mindset Absolutely a lot.
It takes time and I want togive you some sort of starting
(10:31):
points here, and number one isto simply understand what's
going on for you with money, tobecome aware.
So have a listen to what Karensays.
Karen Mullins (10:51):
The first step is awareness.
Right, like always, it'sawareness.
It's just being able to seewhere you currently are and to
have a mind open enough, ofcourse, to want to shift and
change it.
Right?
But again, if you're lookingfor the answer to that question,
let's assume that that box hasalready ticked.
That's like, yeah, I do want toimprove that, that mindset on
my relationship with money.
So the first step, for sure, isawareness and, in fact, as I've
just said right there, like thefirst step if you want to
(11:12):
improve your relationship withmoney.
Do you know what?
One of the best ways that Iknow and actually it's quite a
fun kind of exercise to do, insome respects at least to really
become aware of, like, well,where am I currently?
What is my current relationshipwith money?
Literally, kind of, you can bea bit playful with this, but
start to think of money as if itliterally was your significant
(11:34):
other.
Right, so you are in arelationship with money, like we
all are.
So you're in a relationshipwith money right now.
If you started to see money asyour significant other, what
kind of a relationship are youin with money?
Right, like, do you really lovemoney or is it like well,
sometimes I love it andsometimes not so much.
And well, I love you, butyou're never around enough.
Or like you come, but then youleave really quickly.
(11:56):
You're never here when I wantyou, right, can you see.
Or you leave really quickly,you're never here when I want
you, right, can you see?
Or like I kind of want you andlike I kind of feel good about
wanting you, but this side ofyou over here, like if we were
talking about I don't know likedebt or something, now I feel
really bad for wanting, likethat's not even allowed.
Do you know what I mean?
And it's just that kind of.
Do I need to go to counseling?
Am I in a dysfunctionalrelationship with money here?
You know, like yeah, or am Iavoiding it?
(12:17):
Right?
Like am I deep in avoidance?
Am I not paying money anyattention?
Right, like there's so manykind of like facets to this that
if you look at it through thatlens it's really fascinating.
Of like, oh my gosh, yeah.
Cheryl Fischer (12:29):
I think that helps us to recognize hey,
there's something funny going onhere.
Or maybe it helps us torecognize you know what, I'm in
a pretty good position.
I'd like to sort of grow myvision for the amount of money.
You know what?
I'm in a pretty good position.
I'd like to sort of grow myvision for the amount of money I
could have.
But I'm in a pretty goodposition and, by the way, this
is when I know I've hit my issuewith money.
(12:50):
I still have something inside meand I can feel it in my chest
where when I say it's okay tohave more money, we can go for
more money, you can have moremoney something in my chest
there's still a bit of a feelingof like, maybe that's bad.
It's still in there and so I'mcontinuing to work on that.
(13:10):
And if that's you when I saythings like that, let me just
say this as I said at thebeginning, money is not good or
bad.
More money magnifies yourpersonality and anyone else's
personality.
So if you are a good person,more money.
Maybe you can even do betterthings.
More money.
If you're not a great person,you might do worse things.
(13:34):
It's a magnifier.
But I'm just recognizing I'mstill a work in progress as well
.
Okay, so let's say you're inthe position where you have some
debt you maybe haven't had somefinancial success recently
(13:54):
you're dealing with how am Igoing to figure that out?
And it kind of weighs on you,right, and that continues to
create this sort of negativething with regard to money.
Okay, well, karen has a commentfor you about that as well.
Karen Mullins (14:13):
This, I think, is like a big catch 22 for so many
people when it comes to debt,because then they're thinking,
well, how can I feel prosperousif I've got debt, et cetera, et
cetera.
So, yeah, the advice that Igive is, as with kind of
everything I guess that we'vebeen looking at so far, is it's
so important to reframe, thatit's so important to question
some of the beliefs andassumptions you've been making
about debt to this point.
(14:34):
And so how can you look at it?
Okay, sort of in terms of whereyou are right now, and this
isn't a message of saying, ohhey, like it's okay, just go put
more money on your credit card,right?
No, you want to be responsibleabout that.
Okay, like that's.
Another key part of this isbeing responsible with the money
that you've got.
But you are where you are and Ithink it's so important not to
judge yourself and, in fact, youcan reframe it.
(14:57):
I actually say to my clientslike actually, how can you be
grateful for the balance that'son your credit card statement?
Like you might even want tolike stop using the word debt,
because there's such a lot oflike negative connotation that
we just have programmed in, soit could be like oh, I have
financing on.
You know, I have a balance on acredit card statement, just in
the way that I said it.
Then, okay, how can you feelgrateful for it and recognize
(15:19):
that that actually is stillmoney that has supported you,
right?
Like, if you can see it likethat because by definition, it
has, that's you've had moneythat you have been able to use
and really it's you're payingfor that service, it's still a
service that you're receivingfrom, let's say, your credit
card provider.
If we're talking about creditcard debt, I mean and also with
debt, there's all differenttypes, right?
(15:41):
Like, very few people feelshame, judgment or bad about a
mortgage.
It's so.
It's kind of like, oh, like, amortgage that's hundreds of
thousands is actually completelyfine, but, oh, my goodness, if
I've got some money over here ona credit card statement, well,
shame on me, right, right.
So I really think that it's soimportant for us as individuals,
(16:01):
like this is also part of youtaking ownership of your money
story, your relationship withmoney.
Where, what if I just change theway I felt about that, because
I'm telling you that will cleanup your energy?
Where you can see that like, doyou know what?
Like, it supported me at thatpoint.
Right like, or it supported me,and it might be.
I mean, gosh, I've done this.
Right like, I wouldn't be heretoday on this episode.
Cheryl, you and me wouldn't behere today on this episode.
Cheryl, you and me wouldn'teven know each other because if
(16:22):
it wasn't for being able to, youknow, invest in myself and put
some money on my AmericanExpress card, I wouldn't have
invested in coaching for myselfor invested in getting trained
and being mentored by BobProctor.
Right Like, I didn't have thatmoney, just sat in savings, and
so I made a decision.
Great like, that's somethingI'm so grateful for because it
enabled me to do something thatwas an investment in myself, you
(16:44):
know.
So, again, no shame on that Iwas so grateful and happy to pay
for the service of being ableto do that, which is really
obviously, then, what you'repaying for in interest.
So, just even breaking it downlike that, and let's talk about
(17:06):
spending and investing.
Cheryl Fischer (17:07):
What's really powerful about the decisions
that you make about money that Imake, about money any of us
make is the energy behind thedecision.
Are we doing something out ofdesperation?
Are we doing something becausewe're trying to keep up with the
neighbors or whoever?
Are we doing something fromfear that we're going to miss
(17:28):
out?
Or are we spending or doingsome type of investment from a
place of really a lot ofconfidence that this feels good
and is the right decision?
Are we feeling really aligned,that we looked into all the
information and we figured outthe best option and this is
(17:52):
something that is reallyvaluable that we're spending the
money on that feels differentand I'm guessing even when you
hear me talk about that youmight realize it feels different
.
So know what the energy isbehind that decision and if
you've never had a look at thestory cycle or heard me talk
(18:16):
about that, the thoughts goingon in our heads create our
emotions, which then, of course,affect our actions.
So, identifying the emotionyou're feeling when you're
taking some of these actions,making these money decisions or
even listening to me talk aboutit, you can then kind of dig in
and figure out what thoughts arecreating that and again, it's
(18:40):
awareness.
So go to CherylPFishercom slashstory cycle and grab that
resource if you haven't already.
Now here's where I usually getthe question well, what if I
just kind of act as if and Idecide I'm going to act as if
(19:04):
and I decide I'm going torecreate myself as a financially
successful person and I'm goingto go and make investments and
do that with confidence?
Again, that actually might be areally good thing, as long as
the energy, the emotion relatedto that is helpful and positive
(19:25):
and confident and aligned and itdoesn't trigger scarcity or
stress for you.
And that's not a judgment.
Everybody has a differenttrigger, for when we've spent
enough that now we're inscarcity, or we've made some
sort of job change and now we'rein scarcity.
When we trigger that, then wekind of fall back into the old
(19:47):
vision of money.
So I want to give you somesmall act as if actions and I
want you to just make sure thatyou try these, but only the ones
you're really comfortable withand they can be fun.
So the idea is to believe thatmoney is always available and
money is always coming andyou're always going to be able
(20:08):
to figure out a way to haveplenty of income, and so if we
start to feel that luxury can bein our lives and we start to
feel that we can give money awayand help others, it shifts that
energy.
So try small things.
When you're at the grocery storeand you're buying a few items,
(20:30):
don't look at the prices.
Just buy what you need.
Buy the ones you actually want,because you're not likely to
break your budget.
Or, please, make sure you'renot breaking your budget but
you're not likely to when you'rebuying grocery items.
Karen's idea, which I love, wasgo to a restaurant, order what
you want, what you really feellike drinking and eating, and do
(20:53):
not look at the cost.
Now, the way to make sure thatyou're not breaking your budget
on this is just pick arestaurant where you know the
approximate range of what thefood and drink is and you know
that, whatever choice you make,you're not going to cause
yourself some life problems.
And don't look at the prices.
(21:13):
Order what you want and enjoyit, feeling that feeling of I
can absolutely do this, I don'thave to worry.
I'm so thankful that I havemoney that is giving me this
opportunity to enjoy thesethings in my life with my
friends, with my family, and Ialso love, love, love.
(21:35):
It makes me feel so great whenI do this Giving away money a
little bit, a little bit, alittle bit, or hey, a lot if you
have a lot and that is payingfor the person behind you in the
drive through anonymously.
You're going to have left by thetime they realize somebody paid
for them.
Or I've heard of people goinginto stores and leaving some
(21:57):
cash, like in the diaper box orunderneath something on the
shelf so somebody finds it.
I've heard of people stickingcash in an envelope and putting
it on the windshield of a car.
I've heard of peopleanonymously sending some pizzas
to the front office of a schoolor to the fire station or
whatever Something to makesomeone's day, and it doesn't
(22:22):
even have to be much.
And when you do that and youdon't take credit, the rush of
positive feeling number one,that you were able to make
someone happy and number two,that money allowed you to do
that is really, really impactfulin terms of the mental
relationship we have with money.
(22:43):
And I have one more for you,and this is from Karen, and
really I don't think I everwould have thought of doing this
on my own.
Let's talk about bills.
Karen Mullins (22:55):
Another great tip , actually, just again, to give
people things that they can takeaway and act on.
And it comes back to gratitude.
But like if you can reallyunderstand that whenever you are
paying for anything and Ireally do mean anything you are
receiving a service, right, likeif you can join the dots on
that, like when you're payingfor something, you're receiving
a service.
So how can you get intogratitude?
(23:16):
Because a lot of the time,especially now.
So just to come back to thepoint you made, cheryl, of
rising inflation, and I know inthe UK media maybe similar where
you are, but in the UK mediafor months and months it's like
the cost of living crisis.
It's literally like the cost ofliving crisis.
So again, it's like it'sheightening, causing people to
live in a state of fear and lackbecause it's bringing their
attention to it.
(23:36):
A great remedy is like, yeah,how can you get into gratitude
when you're circulating money?
So, even when you're paying fora bill, how can you be grateful
?
So, even if it's like theelectricity bill, you know, the
car tax, whatever it might belike, really acknowledge, well,
I'm pretty glad that I've gotelectricity.
Actually, I mean, if the fridgedidn't turn on, all my food
would go off and you know, youknow I can eat food and I'm not
(23:59):
gonna get food poisoning becauseI can cook it right through and
like, really, we take so muchfor granted so we forget when
we're paying bills sometimesthat we did actually receive
something for the thing thatwe're paying for.
Right, this and this is sopowerful and again now you start
to get into the energy of, like, all that you have.
Cheryl Fischer (24:28):
So now you're feeling more abundant and
prosperous, rather than the lackand the not enoughness.
Oh my goodness, amazing, right.
So as we wrap this up, midlifeis a time where you most likely
are more well off than you werein your early 20s.
Most likely you are more welloff now than you were then.
So I say appreciate that firstof all, right, realize how far
you've come.
And it's also a time wheremaybe we've got college payments
, we're helping with agingparents, we're looking towards
(24:50):
retirement, we're thinking do Ihave enough money to retire?
At what point will I haveenough money to retire?
That becomes a little bit of ascarcity thing and it creeps in
in midlife.
So reach out onCherylPFishercom and let's set
up a call if you'd like to havecoaching about that.
For sure, and in general, watchyour language.
(25:11):
So when you catch yourselfsaying everything's so expensive
I wish I had more money, I'llnever be able to retire.
Watch the always and the never.
Watch the everything and justnotice and see if you can.
At first maybe just minimizehow much you're saying that, but
also maybe just shift it andsay I'm excited to figure out
(25:34):
when I can retire and I knowI'll find something that works
out well and I'm so happy I'vecome this far.
Whatever it is that works foryou.
Your brain is always listeningto you and is shaping what you
notice in your world based onall of these cues and all of
these subconscious beliefs.
(25:55):
So I would love to hear fromyou.
Find me on social media, cherylP Fisher on most socials.
Tell me if you tried any ofthese tips.
Tell me what you've learnedabout your money mindset and
let's see if we can learn fromeach other.
And make sure that you'rehanging out with me in the
Patreon community, because we'regoing to talk a little bit more
(26:17):
this week about money mindsetand I'm going to give you a
little bit more of my story aswell.
So that's patreoncom.
Slash mind your midlife.
Click join for free, easy peasy, and make sure you've hit the
follow button Because, alongthis same theme, next week's
episode we're going to talkabout the idea of having more
(26:38):
streams of income in midlife asyou're planning towards
retirement, and I have a guestwho's going to give us some
great advice and ideas.
So I'll see you then.
And, in the meantime, make sureyou're slowing down, noticing
what's around you, what's goingon in your head, and let's
(27:00):
create something amazing.
money doesn't grow on trees.
Do you have sayings in yourhead like that that create some
sort of hidden conflict for youabout money?
I think most of us do, to behonest.
I'll give you some more sayingexamples in the episode.
This idea of a mentalrelationship with money and
(00:24):
potentially self-sabotage aroundmoney is, for me, the biggest
thing that I have worked on onmy own mindset, with mindset
coaches and you're going to heara few clips from one of my
coaches today and it's going tobe really powerful for you as
(00:46):
well.
So let's talk about it.
Welcome to Mind your Midlife,your go-to resource for
confidence and success.
One thought at a time, unlikemost advice out there.
We believe that simply tellingyou to believe in yourself or
change your habits isn't enoughto wake up excited about life or
(01:08):
feel truly confident in yourbody.
Each week, you'll gainactionable strategies and oh my
goodness powerful insights tostop feeling stuck and start
loving your midlife.
This is the Mind your Midlifepodcast.
This is the Mind your MidlifePodcast.
Money itself doesn't really haveany meaning, except as a method
(01:35):
of exchanging.
I give money in order to getsomething that I value, and
money is valued by whoever I'mgiving it to, so we're making an
exchange and in fact, in theold old old days, money used to
actually have intrinsic value.
(01:55):
Right, there were gold coinsand silver coins.
Our money doesn't have anyvalue it's paper.
Some countries have reallypretty paper money, but it's
still paper.
Or maybe it's coins, butthey're not made out of silver
or gold.
What happens is we attachmeanings to money and it gets
(02:17):
very much mixed into whetherwe're successful, whether we're
a good person, whether we'remaking appropriate decisions and
who knows what appropriatemeans.
And if we've had experiences inlife where money was scarce,
then that is definitely going tobe mixed in, that there's a
(02:39):
feeling of lack or maybe evenfear or uncertainty, scarcity
around money.
And so at the beginning of theepisode I said money doesn't
grow on trees.
Here's a few more Rich peopleare evil or rich people are
greedy.
You get money by being greedy.
(02:59):
Time is money.
A penny saved is a penny earned.
Spending is quick, earning isslow.
What Earning is slow?
So you could probably come upwith more sayings than that.
When I was growing up, Idefinitely heard the oh yeah,
(03:20):
let me just go pick the moneyoff the money tree in the
backyard so that we can get thattype of thing and most of the
stories like that that we havein our minds come from
experiences we've had aschildren.
Now, I'm not saying that ourparents are to blame.
We do it too and sometimes wemisinterpret experiences where
(03:41):
it's really our fault because wemisinterpreted the whole thing.
So passing out blame is not thepoint here.
What we want to understand isthat you have subconsciously
attached meaning to money andtypically you fall into one of
two groups Either,subconsciously, you believe
(04:04):
money's quite easy to come byand you'll always have plenty,
or the other side, money isdifficult to come by, you never
have enough, and that can lookall sorts of ways.
And I'm guessing if you're inthe money's difficult to come by
group, you're thinking, man,why couldn't I be in?
(04:24):
The money is easy to come bygroup.
It's just our experiences thatwe save into our subconscious
minds and we create this meaning, this relationship between
ourselves and money, and both ofthose sides honestly can skew
our understanding of money.
Those sides honestly can skewour understanding of money.
(04:46):
So what I want to help you withtoday and I'm doing this
episode mainly because, as Isaid at the beginning, this is
one of the things that Iconstantly still work on.
I coach myself on this all thetime.
I'm creating a Patreon myselfon this.
(05:07):
All the time I'm creating aPatreon.
It's free right now, in thesummer, and it's not going to be
free forever.
So I have to be envisioningthat I'm providing value and
people will want this.
Any type of business owner thatyou are for my coaching clients
, for your clients of whateveryour business is you have to
believe that you are providingvalue that they will want and
(05:29):
value paying for.
Because if we believe insteadthat we're kind of taking
someone's money and we feel badabout that, we are not going to
grow, whatever that business is.
Very far, are we?
That subconscious belief isthere.
(05:53):
Now here's an interesting one.
Money is a means of exchange.
But let's take it further.
Money is a flow of energy andit's unlimited.
The first time, my successcoach, karen Mullins, who you're
going to hear from a little ofenergy and it's unlimited.
The first time, my successcoach, karen Mullins, who you're
going to hear from a little bittoday, said that to me.
I kind of I don't know, I don'tknow.
That seems a bit touchy, feely,woo, woo, I don't know.
(06:16):
But if money is a measure ofvalue, a means of exchange,
valuing things, then we couldimagine that it flows back and
forth between people, betweenbusinesses, like an energy, and
so if we're open to it, it'sgoing to flow to us as well.
(06:41):
It's also unlimited.
There is not a limited amountof money in the world.
Being super what is the word I'mlooking for?
Super concrete about it we canprint more money.
Any country can.
That does affect economics, butit's possible.
And then, being a little lessconcrete about it, there is
(07:07):
always a way to make more money.
If you are open to it and youallow yourself to come up with
ideas, there is always a way.
And I think right now, whatconcerns me about our
relationship with money is we'renot in the best economic
environment.
(07:28):
Prices are higher and I hear alot of conversations about it's
so expensive to blank.
It's so expensive to buywhatever we're wanting to buy.
It's so expensive to travelwherever we're wanting to travel
.
No-transcript.
(08:14):
If I'm telling myself andothers all the time that
everything is so expensive, whatam I going to notice when I'm
out in the world or when I'monline?
Everything looks expensive.
Now, I'm not saying if you justflip and tell yourself, hey,
everything's cheap, thensuddenly everything will be
cheap.
No, that's obviously not whatI'm saying, but we focus on a
(08:36):
certain angle of this based onwhat is going on inside our
money beliefs, our mindset aboutmoney.
And one more piece of this iskind of interesting.
So we're in our 40s, our 50s,our 60s and as you're listening
to this, think about the factthat it wasn't until 1975.
(09:00):
I was alive in 1975, although Iwas very young.
You may have been alive in 1975, although I was very young.
You may have been alive in 1975.
It wasn't until 1975 that womencould open bank accounts on
their own without either ahusband or a father's signature.
I'm talking about adult women.
They also couldn't get loanswithout a husband or a father's
(09:25):
signature.
1975, during our lifetime thatjust blows my mind.
So I guess, in that sense, alot of progress has been made,
hasn't it?
But if you think about howshort a time that has been since
women had that bit moreindependence in terms of
(09:46):
managing our own money, thenit's quite likely that we would
have inherited some limitingmoney beliefs from previous
generations.
It's quite likely that ourparents, our grandparents, had
beliefs about money that, justthrough their day-to-day actions
and day-to-day conversation,passed down to us.
(10:09):
For me, it's the money treething.
So what can we do about this?
I don't want to leave you withoh, I must have some crazy stuff
in my head about money.
I'm never going to be able tofix it.
Coaching can help a lot onmoney mindset Absolutely a lot.
It takes time and I want togive you some sort of starting
(10:31):
points here, and number one isto simply understand what's
going on for you with money, tobecome aware.
So have a listen to what Karensays.
Karen Mullins (10:51):
The first step is awareness.
Right, like always, it'sawareness.
It's just being able to seewhere you currently are and to
have a mind open enough, ofcourse, to want to shift and
change it.
Right?
But again, if you're lookingfor the answer to that question,
let's assume that that box hasalready ticked.
That's like, yeah, I do want toimprove that, that mindset on
my relationship with money.
So the first step, for sure, isawareness and, in fact, as I've
just said right there, like thefirst step if you want to
(11:12):
improve your relationship withmoney.
Do you know what?
One of the best ways that Iknow and actually it's quite a
fun kind of exercise to do, insome respects at least to really
become aware of, like, well,where am I currently?
What is my current relationshipwith money?
Literally, kind of, you can bea bit playful with this, but
start to think of money as if itliterally was your significant
(11:34):
other.
Right, so you are in arelationship with money, like we
all are.
So you're in a relationshipwith money right now.
If you started to see money asyour significant other, what
kind of a relationship are youin with money?
Right, like, do you really lovemoney or is it like well,
sometimes I love it andsometimes not so much.
And well, I love you, butyou're never around enough.
Or like you come, but then youleave really quickly.
(11:56):
You're never here when I wantyou, right, can you see.
Or you leave really quickly,you're never here when I want
you, right, can you see?
Or like I kind of want you andlike I kind of feel good about
wanting you, but this side ofyou over here, like if we were
talking about I don't know likedebt or something, now I feel
really bad for wanting, likethat's not even allowed.
Do you know what I mean?
And it's just that kind of.
Do I need to go to counseling?
Am I in a dysfunctionalrelationship with money here?
You know, like yeah, or am Iavoiding it?
(12:17):
Right?
Like am I deep in avoidance?
Am I not paying money anyattention?
Right, like there's so manykind of like facets to this that
if you look at it through thatlens it's really fascinating.
Of like, oh my gosh, yeah.
Cheryl Fischer (12:29):
I think that helps us to recognize hey,
there's something funny going onhere.
Or maybe it helps us torecognize you know what, I'm in
a pretty good position.
I'd like to sort of grow myvision for the amount of money.
You know what?
I'm in a pretty good position.
I'd like to sort of grow myvision for the amount of money I
could have.
But I'm in a pretty goodposition and, by the way, this
is when I know I've hit my issuewith money.
(12:50):
I still have something inside meand I can feel it in my chest
where when I say it's okay tohave more money, we can go for
more money, you can have moremoney something in my chest
there's still a bit of a feelingof like, maybe that's bad.
It's still in there and so I'mcontinuing to work on that.
(13:10):
And if that's you when I saythings like that, let me just
say this as I said at thebeginning, money is not good or
bad.
More money magnifies yourpersonality and anyone else's
personality.
So if you are a good person,more money.
Maybe you can even do betterthings.
More money.
If you're not a great person,you might do worse things.
(13:34):
It's a magnifier.
But I'm just recognizing I'mstill a work in progress as well
.
Okay, so let's say you're inthe position where you have some
debt you maybe haven't had somefinancial success recently
(13:54):
you're dealing with how am Igoing to figure that out?
And it kind of weighs on you,right, and that continues to
create this sort of negativething with regard to money.
Okay, well, karen has a commentfor you about that as well.
Karen Mullins (14:13):
This, I think, is like a big catch 22 for so many
people when it comes to debt,because then they're thinking,
well, how can I feel prosperousif I've got debt, et cetera, et
cetera.
So, yeah, the advice that Igive is, as with kind of
everything I guess that we'vebeen looking at so far, is it's
so important to reframe, thatit's so important to question
some of the beliefs andassumptions you've been making
about debt to this point.
(14:34):
And so how can you look at it?
Okay, sort of in terms of whereyou are right now, and this
isn't a message of saying, ohhey, like it's okay, just go put
more money on your credit card,right?
No, you want to be responsibleabout that.
Okay, like that's.
Another key part of this isbeing responsible with the money
that you've got.
But you are where you are and Ithink it's so important not to
judge yourself and, in fact, youcan reframe it.
(14:57):
I actually say to my clientslike actually, how can you be
grateful for the balance that'son your credit card statement?
Like you might even want tolike stop using the word debt,
because there's such a lot oflike negative connotation that
we just have programmed in, soit could be like oh, I have
financing on.
You know, I have a balance on acredit card statement, just in
the way that I said it.
Then, okay, how can you feelgrateful for it and recognize
(15:19):
that that actually is stillmoney that has supported you,
right?
Like, if you can see it likethat because by definition, it
has, that's you've had moneythat you have been able to use
and really it's you're payingfor that service, it's still a
service that you're receivingfrom, let's say, your credit
card provider.
If we're talking about creditcard debt, I mean and also with
debt, there's all differenttypes, right?
(15:41):
Like, very few people feelshame, judgment or bad about a
mortgage.
It's so.
It's kind of like, oh, like, amortgage that's hundreds of
thousands is actually completelyfine, but, oh, my goodness, if
I've got some money over here ona credit card statement, well,
shame on me, right, right.
So I really think that it's soimportant for us as individuals,
(16:01):
like this is also part of youtaking ownership of your money
story, your relationship withmoney.
Where, what if I just change theway I felt about that, because
I'm telling you that will cleanup your energy?
Where you can see that like, doyou know what?
Like, it supported me at thatpoint.
Right like, or it supported me,and it might be.
I mean, gosh, I've done this.
Right like, I wouldn't be heretoday on this episode.
Cheryl, you and me wouldn't behere today on this episode.
Cheryl, you and me wouldn'teven know each other because if
(16:22):
it wasn't for being able to, youknow, invest in myself and put
some money on my AmericanExpress card, I wouldn't have
invested in coaching for myselfor invested in getting trained
and being mentored by BobProctor.
Right Like, I didn't have thatmoney, just sat in savings, and
so I made a decision.
Great like, that's somethingI'm so grateful for because it
enabled me to do something thatwas an investment in myself, you
(16:44):
know.
So, again, no shame on that Iwas so grateful and happy to pay
for the service of being ableto do that, which is really
obviously, then, what you'repaying for in interest.
So, just even breaking it downlike that, and let's talk about
(17:06):
spending and investing.
Cheryl Fischer (17:07):
What's really powerful about the decisions
that you make about money that Imake, about money any of us
make is the energy behind thedecision.
Are we doing something out ofdesperation?
Are we doing something becausewe're trying to keep up with the
neighbors or whoever?
Are we doing something fromfear that we're going to miss
(17:28):
out?
Or are we spending or doingsome type of investment from a
place of really a lot ofconfidence that this feels good
and is the right decision?
Are we feeling really aligned,that we looked into all the
information and we figured outthe best option and this is
(17:52):
something that is reallyvaluable that we're spending the
money on that feels differentand I'm guessing even when you
hear me talk about that youmight realize it feels different
.
So know what the energy isbehind that decision and if
you've never had a look at thestory cycle or heard me talk
(18:16):
about that, the thoughts goingon in our heads create our
emotions, which then, of course,affect our actions.
So, identifying the emotionyou're feeling when you're
taking some of these actions,making these money decisions or
even listening to me talk aboutit, you can then kind of dig in
and figure out what thoughts arecreating that and again, it's
(18:40):
awareness.
So go to CherylPFishercom slashstory cycle and grab that
resource if you haven't already.
Now here's where I usually getthe question well, what if I
just kind of act as if and Idecide I'm going to act as if
(19:04):
and I decide I'm going torecreate myself as a financially
successful person and I'm goingto go and make investments and
do that with confidence?
Again, that actually might be areally good thing, as long as
the energy, the emotion relatedto that is helpful and positive
(19:25):
and confident and aligned and itdoesn't trigger scarcity or
stress for you.
And that's not a judgment.
Everybody has a differenttrigger, for when we've spent
enough that now we're inscarcity, or we've made some
sort of job change and now we'rein scarcity.
When we trigger that, then wekind of fall back into the old
(19:47):
vision of money.
So I want to give you somesmall act as if actions and I
want you to just make sure thatyou try these, but only the ones
you're really comfortable withand they can be fun.
So the idea is to believe thatmoney is always available and
money is always coming andyou're always going to be able
(20:08):
to figure out a way to haveplenty of income, and so if we
start to feel that luxury can bein our lives and we start to
feel that we can give money awayand help others, it shifts that
energy.
So try small things.
When you're at the grocery storeand you're buying a few items,
(20:30):
don't look at the prices.
Just buy what you need.
Buy the ones you actually want,because you're not likely to
break your budget.
Or, please, make sure you'renot breaking your budget but
you're not likely to when you'rebuying grocery items.
Karen's idea, which I love, wasgo to a restaurant, order what
you want, what you really feellike drinking and eating, and do
(20:53):
not look at the cost.
Now, the way to make sure thatyou're not breaking your budget
on this is just pick arestaurant where you know the
approximate range of what thefood and drink is and you know
that, whatever choice you make,you're not going to cause
yourself some life problems.
And don't look at the prices.
(21:13):
Order what you want and enjoyit, feeling that feeling of I
can absolutely do this, I don'thave to worry.
I'm so thankful that I havemoney that is giving me this
opportunity to enjoy thesethings in my life with my
friends, with my family, and Ialso love, love, love.
(21:35):
It makes me feel so great whenI do this Giving away money a
little bit, a little bit, alittle bit, or hey, a lot if you
have a lot and that is payingfor the person behind you in the
drive through anonymously.
You're going to have left by thetime they realize somebody paid
for them.
Or I've heard of people goinginto stores and leaving some
(21:57):
cash, like in the diaper box orunderneath something on the
shelf so somebody finds it.
I've heard of people stickingcash in an envelope and putting
it on the windshield of a car.
I've heard of peopleanonymously sending some pizzas
to the front office of a schoolor to the fire station or
whatever Something to makesomeone's day, and it doesn't
(22:22):
even have to be much.
And when you do that and youdon't take credit, the rush of
positive feeling number one,that you were able to make
someone happy and number two,that money allowed you to do
that is really, really impactfulin terms of the mental
relationship we have with money.
(22:43):
And I have one more for you,and this is from Karen, and
really I don't think I everwould have thought of doing this
on my own.
Let's talk about bills.
Karen Mullins (22:55):
Another great tip , actually, just again, to give
people things that they can takeaway and act on.
And it comes back to gratitude.
But like if you can reallyunderstand that whenever you are
paying for anything and Ireally do mean anything you are
receiving a service, right, likeif you can join the dots on
that, like when you're payingfor something, you're receiving
a service.
So how can you get intogratitude?
(23:16):
Because a lot of the time,especially now.
So just to come back to thepoint you made, cheryl, of
rising inflation, and I know inthe UK media maybe similar where
you are, but in the UK mediafor months and months it's like
the cost of living crisis.
It's literally like the cost ofliving crisis.
So again, it's like it'sheightening, causing people to
live in a state of fear and lackbecause it's bringing their
attention to it.
(23:36):
A great remedy is like, yeah,how can you get into gratitude
when you're circulating money?
So, even when you're paying fora bill, how can you be grateful
?
So, even if it's like theelectricity bill, you know, the
car tax, whatever it might belike, really acknowledge, well,
I'm pretty glad that I've gotelectricity.
Actually, I mean, if the fridgedidn't turn on, all my food
would go off and you know, youknow I can eat food and I'm not
(23:59):
gonna get food poisoning becauseI can cook it right through and
like, really, we take so muchfor granted so we forget when
we're paying bills sometimesthat we did actually receive
something for the thing thatwe're paying for.
Right, this and this is sopowerful and again now you start
to get into the energy of, like, all that you have.
Cheryl Fischer (24:28):
So now you're feeling more abundant and
prosperous, rather than the lackand the not enoughness.
Oh my goodness, amazing, right.
So as we wrap this up, midlifeis a time where you most likely
are more well off than you werein your early 20s.
Most likely you are more welloff now than you were then.
So I say appreciate that firstof all, right, realize how far
you've come.
And it's also a time wheremaybe we've got college payments
, we're helping with agingparents, we're looking towards
(24:50):
retirement, we're thinking do Ihave enough money to retire?
At what point will I haveenough money to retire?
That becomes a little bit of ascarcity thing and it creeps in
in midlife.
So reach out onCherylPFishercom and let's set
up a call if you'd like to havecoaching about that.
For sure, and in general, watchyour language.
(25:11):
So when you catch yourselfsaying everything's so expensive
I wish I had more money, I'llnever be able to retire.
Watch the always and the never.
Watch the everything and justnotice and see if you can.
At first maybe just minimizehow much you're saying that, but
also maybe just shift it andsay I'm excited to figure out
(25:34):
when I can retire and I knowI'll find something that works
out well and I'm so happy I'vecome this far.
Whatever it is that works foryou.
Your brain is always listeningto you and is shaping what you
notice in your world based onall of these cues and all of
these subconscious beliefs.
(25:55):
So I would love to hear fromyou.
Find me on social media, cherylP Fisher on most socials.
Tell me if you tried any ofthese tips.
Tell me what you've learnedabout your money mindset and
let's see if we can learn fromeach other.
And make sure that you'rehanging out with me in the
Patreon community, because we'regoing to talk a little bit more
(26:17):
this week about money mindsetand I'm going to give you a
little bit more of my story aswell.
So that's patreoncom.
Slash mind your midlife.
Click join for free, easy peasy, and make sure you've hit the
follow button Because, alongthis same theme, next week's
episode we're going to talkabout the idea of having more
(26:38):
streams of income in midlife asyou're planning towards
retirement, and I have a guestwho's going to give us some
great advice and ideas.
So I'll see you then.
And, in the meantime, make sureyou're slowing down, noticing
what's around you, what's goingon in your head, and let's
(27:00):
create something amazing.
Popular Podcasts
Fudd Around And Find Out
UConn basketball star Azzi Fudd brings her championship swag to iHeart Women’s Sports with Fudd Around and Find Out, a weekly podcast that takes fans along for the ride as Azzi spends her final year of college trying to reclaim the National Championship and prepare to be a first round WNBA draft pick. Ever wonder what it’s like to be a world-class athlete in the public spotlight while still managing schoolwork, friendships and family time? It’s time to Fudd Around and Find Out!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!