Ever wonder if what you wear at home really makes a difference? Imagine if your outfit—even your soft pants—could shape your mindset, productivity, and confidence for the entire day.
In this episode, I dive into the science and psychology behind what we wear and how it impacts the way we feel and function, especially in midlife. Whether you work from home, head into an office, or are somewhere in between, this conversation is about more than clothes—it’s about identity, intention, and how we want to show up in our own lives.
BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU’LL DISCOVER:
✔ What “enclothed cognition” is and how your brain responds to what you’re wearing
✔ Why getting dressed can actually change your mindset and boost confidence
✔ How to use clothing as a tool to signal the mood, energy, and focus you want to have
✔ Why it’s time to clean out anything in your closet that makes you feel less than your best
🎯 OMG Moment: What you wear isn’t just about style—it’s a signal to your brain that says, “I’m ready. Let’s go.”
Take Action
Ask yourself each morning: How do I want to feel today? Then get dressed in a way that reflects that intention. Your clothes aren’t just an outfit—they’re your energy.
Listen to Cyndy Porter share more powerful style and personal branding tips on this episode.
Why This Episode Matters
In midlife, how we think and feel about ourselves shapes everything. Choosing what to wear with purpose can help you feel more confident, take action on your goals, and interact with the world in a way that feels authentic and aligned.
🎧 Hit follow now and join me next week as I sit down with a 79-year-old cookbook author for a surprising conversation about health, food, and living with energy at any age.
Find all the podcast and coaching resources at cherylpfischer.com.
Text me to ask a question - I'll answer on the podcast!
🌸 Liked this episode? Share it with fellow midlife women over 40 navigating hormone balance, an empty nest, and self-confidence!
🫶 Love this show? Leave a review to help more women over 50 find us.
💡Want support through menopause, mindset shifts, or midlife transitions?
Book a free Mindset Coaching / Intro Call: cherylpfischer.com/coaching, and join us in Midlife Pivot on Patreon.
Let’s talk self-care, self-talk, and owning your next chapter—without the “midlife crisis” narrative.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Cheryl Fischer (00:00):
Are you a morning person or a night person
?
How do you feel about facingthe day when you get up in the
morning?
I have to confess I'm a nightperson and I have done quite a
bit of adjusting over the pastfew years to change how I feel
(00:20):
about getting up in the morning.
I'll tell you a little bitabout that at the end.
But first, what's the dealabout getting dressed?
If you're not going anywhere,does it matter whether you get
dressed for the day?
And if you are going somewhere,does it matter what you put on?
Let's talk about it.
Welcome to Mind your Midlife,your go-to resource for
(00:41):
confidence and success, onethought at a time.
Unlike most advice out there,we believe that simply telling
you to believe in yourself orchange your habits isn't enough
to wake up excited about life orfeel truly confident in your
body.
Each week you'll gainactionable strategies and oh my
(01:01):
goodness, powerful insights tostop feeling stuck and start
loving your midlife.
This is the Mind your Midlifepodcast.
As you might have guessed, sinceyou're listening to this
podcast, I work from home.
I do my coaching, my podcast,my corporate training from home,
(01:25):
most of the time.
Obviously, sometimes I go outand lead something or teach
something, but most of the timeI'm sitting in front of my
computer doing my work.
So if you were to see me on avideo or on a Zoom, am I fully
dressed or am I wearing PJs onthe bottom, or maybe what my
(01:46):
friends and I like to call softpants?
You'll never know.
And so the question is does itmatter?
Let's take it further.
What if you don't have to be onvideo?
Do you just kind of spend theday in your PJs and get your
work done?
Do you wash your face, brushyour hair, fix your hair?
(02:09):
Mine's curly brushing it wouldbe a nightmare.
Do you put on any makeup?
Have you thought about whetheryou do or don't?
Maybe you just kind of have ahabit.
Experts say it does matter howwe put ourselves together.
No matter whether we're leavingthe house or we're not.
It matters how we put ourselvestogether, and that is because
(02:34):
of how our brains perceive usand perceive the situation.
So we're going to dive intothis and see if we can make your
day even more productive andmore satisfying.
So why do we even get dressed?
Why do we pick out certainitems of clothing, like this
(02:57):
sweater I have on as I'mrecording this.
Put them on.
Why do we do our hair in acertain way?
Put our makeup on, and if youdon't wear makeup, the
equivalent is fix your hair,wash your face, whatever.
Why do we even do that?
Well, inherently, clothing andputting our best foot forward in
(03:18):
terms of face and hair is aprotection and it's kind of a
display.
So we're covering ourselves.
That's the protection.
We're maintaining our modestyto whatever extent we want to,
but we're also putting ourselveson display.
We're decorating ourselves in acertain way, and that means we
(03:43):
then feel confident andcomfortable interacting with
people that we need to interactwith or want to interact with.
We feel the way we want to feelin those situations.
So it's both a cover, which isprotecting us, and it's a
decoration to help us go out andinteract in the world the way
we want to.
And related to that, there'ssomething called enclosed
(04:06):
cognition.
I'm going to say that againbecause it's a little bit hard
to pronounce for me anywayEnclothed cognition.
And what that means is that notonly are we covering our bodies
with our clothes, but theclothes we choose are affecting
our brains, and you know, youare listening to Mind, your
(04:30):
Midlife.
So we need to talk about this.
The clothes you choose areputting you in a different
psychological state.
Clothes have a symbolic meaningand as soon as I give you some
examples, you're going to knowthis.
Even down to the single itemwhich necklace did you pick?
Which pair of shoes, which pairof glasses?
(04:51):
All of those meanings influenceour mental state.
So are you choosing to put onthe soft pants?
Are you putting on the fancier,more decorative necklace?
Are you putting on all therings and bracelets, are you not
?
They all have a meaning to usand we might not necessarily
(05:12):
consciously think about it, butthey have a meaning.
So if I'm standing at myjewelry box and I've gotten
myself all dressed and I'mpicking out a necklace, I'm
going to pick maybe amulti-strand one, like I have on
now, which I love, or maybejust a simple little one,
because, for whatever reason, Ijust want something simple.
I don't want it to show up asmuch and I don't really think
(05:32):
about it typically.
So this idea or concept ofenclosed cognition came out of
some research from NorthwesternUniversity about 11 years ago.
They did an experiment usinglab coats.
So by lab coat I mean a whitecoat that a doctor or a
scientist in a lab might wear.
(05:54):
If you're someone who worksfrom home, like I am, I doubt
you're wearing a lab coat, butyou understand the concept.
They decided they had ahypothesis that we think with
our bodies as well as our brains.
Of course we think with ourbrains, but they were wanting to
take that further, and how wefeel is based on physical
(06:17):
experiences, including theexperience of wearing clothes.
So they wanted to understandmore.
How does this actually happen?
So the participants in theexperiment either wore a lab
coat, that they were offered awhite lab coat, or they wore
their street clothes, theirregular clothes, and then the
(06:37):
people running the study testedtheir attentiveness.
So there was a group wearinglab coats during this test.
There was a group wearing theirregular clothes, and I bet you
can guess what happened.
The people that were wearing alab coat had heightened
alertness and awareness everysingle time.
(06:59):
Every single time, every singletest, they were more alert and
more aware than those who werewearing their regular clothes.
So the act of wearing thiswhite lab coat that's like a
doctor or a scientist type ofcoat, was symbolic for these
people.
It was equating for themsomething to do maybe with
(07:20):
intelligence, with focus, and itwas subconscious.
Nobody told them that you'resmarter, so you'll wear a lab
coat.
It was subconscious, there wasa symbolic meaning they assigned
to a lab coat, and so they tookthese tests, these assessments,
and every single time with alab coat on, they tested better
(07:45):
on attentiveness and alertness.
I truly, truly am fascinated bythat result.
Now, we're very familiar withuniforms, so a lab coat is one
type of uniform, but we seepeople in uniforms all the time,
right, there's police, there'sfiremen, there's a doctor
wearing scrubs, a dentistwearing scrubs.
There's just all kinds ofuniforms.
(08:07):
What they're wearing tells uswhat they do.
We interpret something abouttheir different skills and their
different abilities, and thatis absolutely inherent in how we
look at and how we define theworld.
We don't have to think about it.
We just make an assessmentabout this person because of the
(08:32):
uniform they have on.
So if we take it the other way,we're also making an assessment
of ourselves according to whatwe wear, and I give you the
uniform as a simple example, butit's anything that we wear.
If we're assessing other peoplesubconsciously, not really
realizing it unless it'ssomething very obvious, maybe
(08:55):
unusual, we're also assessingourselves depending on what we
wear.
So brain science tells us thatwhat we wear can affect how we
feel.
Feeling good about our outsidemeans we're more likely to feel
good about our inside.
(09:15):
It goes both ways.
Being well-dressed grows yourconfidence.
You're inspired, maybe, to domore.
You may be more productive whenyou're dressed well and maybe
lazier when you're in your comfyclothes, your soft clothes, and
maybe you have more attentionto detail when you're dressed
(09:37):
well.
Now let me just say you have apicture in your mind when I say
dressed well, and you might bepicturing someone in a business
suit with high heels and theirhair done and blown out and
makeup, carrying a fancy bag.
Or your version of dressed wellmight be someone with jeans and
(10:01):
a cute top and kind of a snazzybag, and we all have a
different perception of that.
So whatever picture you have inyour mind of dressed well is
fine.
My picture of dressed well, Ithink, is somewhere in the
middle of that.
The way I often dress when I'mgoing out to do something, I
(10:22):
always say my favorite look islike a blazer and jeans, nice
jeans, nice shoes, but I don'treally wear heels.
So anyway, all right, I'mgetting off topic.
Your definition of dressed wellis your definition and that's
okay, because this is aboutself-perception.
It's about how you feel aboutwhat you look like that day,
(10:45):
because that affects what you do, how you think, what's going on
in your head and how productiveyou are, how confident you are.
If you have learned anythingfrom Mind your Midlife so far,
it's that the stuff going on inour heads all day long, and in
particular, the subconsciousstuff that we don't even
(11:06):
necessarily recognize, is what'srunning a lot of our decisions
meaning our lives.
So if you are creating visuallya person that is dressed well,
your brain goes oh, I'm a personwho's productive and successful
, let me go and do that.
Your brain likes to be rightNow.
(11:28):
You're thinking to yourself oh,she's going to tell me that I
really need to get dressed everyday instead of sitting around
in my soft pants or my PJs, andI am going to tell you that.
I'm telling you that right now.
That is true, but I want you toknow that I still don't
necessarily do it every timeeither.
There are days when I reallyjust want comfort, and for me
(11:54):
that means the soft pants, thestretchy pants.
It's comfort.
It's like a little hug from myclothes.
It's just like giving myself alittle break.
Maybe I've had a hard week, ahard day.
I just need a little chill.
But if you're getting dressed tobe productive, or you're
(12:15):
getting dressed to come acrossas a professional, or you're
getting dressed to achievesomething that you really want
to achieve, the absolute key isthat you believe in your mind
that you deserve to achieve thatthing and be that professional
and be productive and get thething done.
It's entirely about what youbelieve that you deserve and
(12:37):
what you believe that you can do.
So getting dressed for that, inyour definition of it, is one
piece of that puzzle.
It is a signal to your brainthat tells you okay, now I'm
ready to do that thing I need todo.
And the reason it's a signal isbecause of the total of all of
(12:58):
our experiences.
We're in midlife, we've had manyyears to be out in the world
and have human experiences, andso I was talking to you about
uniforms.
But think about it.
You've seen movies, you've seenTV, you see social media, you
see people in your neighborhood,you see people in your office,
you see people everywhere.
(13:18):
You've had so many experienceswith different people and you
have made judgments, and I don'tmean that in a mean, icky,
judgy way.
I just mean you've interpretedpeople in your world based on
what they look like and whatthey're wearing.
We all do it.
It's how we make sense of theworld, and the sum total of all
(13:41):
of that is in your head.
It's in my head.
So when we get dressed, if weget dressed with all of that in
mind, it's really important thatwe're dressing for whatever the
situation is that we want towalk into, for whatever the
attitude is that we want to have, because it's signaling to your
brain okay, now I'm going to dothe thing.
(14:04):
It changes your mindset whenyou get dressed.
It's almost like it flips theswitch and it turns your mind on
.
If you have this change in yourinner thoughts, your inner state
of confidence, now let's talkabout what happens outward.
If you are feeling productiveand professional and ready to go
(14:27):
do the thing, you're going tointeract differently with others
as well, and you may have heardme talk about one of my phrases
that I really, really love.
I can figure it out You'regoing to go out into the world
and interact with people withthe thought in your mind.
I can figure it out You'regoing to go out into the world
and interact with people withthe thought in your mind I can
figure it out, I'm going tofigure it out.
And that opens you up todifferent interaction with
(14:50):
people in your life and withchallenges in your life.
You know, you got it together,you are raring to go, and it
changes entirely, entirely, howyou interact with other people,
and that's why we have theseperceptions of the way people
are dressed, because whoeveryou're interacting with is now
going to experience you in adifferent way.
(15:13):
Now you heard me talking aboutmakeup, so I'm not telling you
you have to wear makeup and I'mnot telling you what it means to
dress well, that is yourself-definition and I think if
you sit for a minute and thinkabout it, you'll know what it is
.
But the lipstick thing is funny.
I want to tell you a littlestory.
When I was growing up and Iknow my sister would remember
(15:34):
this too our mom would not leavethe driveway without her
lipstick on, and I'm notexaggerating in any way.
I can remember multipleoccasions when we would all be
in the car she well, she and mysister and me my mom would be
backing the car out of thedriveway and she would realize
(15:55):
that she had forgotten to puther lipstick on, she would stop
the car in the driveway, get thelipstick out of the purse, put
the lipstick on using the rearview mirror and then we proceed
as normal, absolutely not makingthat up.
Now I'm not trying to make funof my mom.
(16:18):
That is what she did forherself, as her way of
symbolizing and I'm sure shedidn't really sit and think this
through in a conscious way butas her way of symbolizing to
herself okay, world, I'm ready,let's go.
So for you, it might belipstick, it might be makeup in
(16:39):
general, it might be a hairstyle, it might be a certain bag, it
might be a certain type ofclothing, a certain style,
certain shoes.
It's something, there'ssomething that communicates to
your mind okay, I'm in, I'mready, I can do this.
It sets the tone for you to beproductive and it also signals
(17:00):
others that you are ready to getthings done.
So the question that I tend toget when I talk about this with
my coaching clients is you know,I'm at home, I'm on Zoom, or
maybe I don't even have mycamera on.
I don't have to have my cameraon.
Nobody's going to see me, whydoes it matter?
Or even, I'm on Zoom, but noone's going to see my pants.
(17:22):
Why does it matter what pantsI'm wearing?
And for my British listeners italways kind of makes me chuckle
.
I think pants my Britishlisteners, it always kind of
makes me chuckle.
I think pants in the UK meanunderwear.
So I'm talking about trousershopefully not just underwear.
But why does it matter?
(17:42):
As I told you a few minutes ago,I definitely sometimes don't
follow my own advice.
This is how we all are.
On occasion, sometimes I needthe soft pants on the bottom or
have my PJs on.
But each time when I've done it, when I've had a nice work
shirt on the top, you know,makeup and hair done and just my
PJs on the bottom, I actuallyfeel more disheveled, to be
(18:03):
honest, because if I ever walkby and see myself in the mirror,
I look like I'm on the streetwith no home.
I've pulled some clothingrandomly and it doesn't go
together.
It looks weird.
When I see myself looking likethat, is that me creating
confidence and productivity forme?
When I look at myself and I see, whoa, like what is going on
(18:27):
there?
It's not.
It's affecting how I feel aboutmyself that day, even though I
know and I made that decisionit's in there Putting on real
clothes all the way up and down.
My rule is you don't have towear shoes, because I don't wear
shoes in my house, but again,you make your own rule.
But being dressed up and downhead toe is going to give you
(18:53):
more confidence, give you moreof the feeling that you've got
this.
And here let me add one morepiece to this If you are dressed
, you are more likely to leavethe house and go out into the
world, and it is healthy for youand for me to go out into the
world.
Maybe you go for a walk aroundthe block, maybe you go and get
(19:16):
a coffee, maybe you meet afriend for coffee, maybe you go
out and go to a networking event, maybe you go to do some type
of hobby that you enjoy.
If you don't actually have toget dressed, it seems easier.
You're already dressed, you putyour shoes on, you grab your
coat, whatever you go, reallyhealthy options happen because
(19:36):
you're actually dressed.
And in fact, a few episodesfrom now I'm going to talk about
walking and the power ofwalking.
And so, if you actually aredressed, it's so easy to just
get up on your break or at lunchand take a walk around the
block.
In whatever you're wearing, itdoesn't matter.
You just put some shoes on andgo take a walk around the block.
You can do that in anything.
(19:58):
I just want to add before wewrap up here what if you do have
to go to the office?
If you're still hanging inthere listening to me and you do
have to go to the office, youobviously are probably not
wearing your PJs.
You're probably also notwearing your soft pants to the
office and, that being said,this is powerful for you as well
(20:22):
.
This is where the whole sayingdress for success came from.
The decision you make aboutwhat you're wearing is
communicating as much to you toyourself as it is to anyone else
, maybe even more I'm going tosay as a mindset coach maybe
it's even more impactful to youwhat you choose to wear.
(20:44):
Don't worry about everybodyelse.
They can think what they thinkand do what they do.
It's impactful to you.
How do you want your day to be,how do you want to feel today?
And so that's what I want youto take away from this.
Here's your.
Oh, my goodness.
This is the one thing I have toremember.
Be intentional about puttingyourself together, getting
(21:05):
dressed.
Ask yourself how do I want tofeel today?
Yourself, how do I want to feeltoday, and then dress for that.
Put clothes on that embody thestate of mind that you want.
Different clothes havedifferent meanings for you, and
we do not probably each otherhave the same interpretation or
(21:26):
give the same meaning to variousclothes, and that's fine.
But what do they mean to you?
So, when you are thinking, whatam I going to wear, I want you
to ask yourself how do I want tofeel?
Do I want to feel powerful?
Do I want to feel professional?
Maybe that leans a bit moretowards officey wear.
(21:47):
Do I want to be superproductive?
Do I want to feel desirable?
Maybe that's more towards Idon't know nightlife wear.
Do I want to be relaxed?
Actually, the soft pants wouldbe the right choice, baby.
Do I want to be creative?
Then that might mean somethingdifferent.
Imagine outfits.
(22:09):
Picture outfits that go witheach of these different
adjectives.
Some of them might be quitesimilar, but some of them are
going to be different.
Dress for how you want to feelabout yourself, because when we
don't take any time to make thedecision about what we're going
(22:31):
to wear Actually, I don't evenwant to say it that way, this
decision doesn't have to take alot of time.
But when we don't put on to ourbody something that makes us
feel the way we want to feel,we're just cheating ourselves
out of a huge piece of mindset.
That is tremendously powerfuland this way you can do whatever
(22:51):
you want.
Is it a day when you reallyneed rest Because you do
regularly, you really need tochill, you're not trying to get
work done?
Then maybe PJs is absolutelythe right choice.
Rest is powerful.
It's about making the decision,having an intention and, if I
(23:13):
may say I'm she's going to talka bit more about this.
But if you're keeping clothes inyour closet, in your drawer,
that make you feel bad aboutyourself, maybe it's because you
used to be a different size, orI don't know.
(23:35):
I don't know why clothes makeyou feel bad about yourself
necessarily, or maybe they'reyour size, but when you put it
on, you're kind of not sure youfeel comfortable, or you know
what I mean.
Do you really want to gothrough the whole day not
feeling great about what you puton your body?
No, get rid of them, give themaway.
Maybe they'll, maybe they'll bethe right thing for somebody
(23:57):
else.
So if you ask yourself how do Iwant to feel today?
And then you put yourselftogether in a way that embodies
that decision.
You've already won more thanhalf the battle of going out
into the world, whether it's ona computer or really, and you're
(24:21):
going to know do I have theright clothes?
Maybe I need more professionalclothes?
Maybe I need more professionalclothes.
Maybe I need more relaxedclothes.
Maybe I got to start overbecause I don't even feel
comfortable in my clothes.
It's about how you want to feel,because that is going to be
about how you are thinking aboutyourself, and all of that is
going to affect what you do andhow you interact with other
(24:45):
people.
To affect what you do and howyou interact with other people.
It matters.
And let me add this let's thinkabout the end of the day.
If you're someone who hastrouble shutting work off,
shutting down, getting off thecomputer, getting out of work
mode, then this might help youas well.
How do I want to feel now?
Maybe you change and you put onthe soft clothes, or maybe even
(25:06):
the PJs.
You can put PJs on whatevertime you want.
You are signaling to your brainwhether it's time to work,
whether it's time to relax,whether the workday is over,
whether it's time to have fun,whatever it is you're signaling
to your brain by what you aregetting dressed in.
So ask yourself, how do I wantto feel?
(25:27):
And then get dressed, knowingthe answer to that question and
helping yourself to achieve thatfeeling.
We're kind of talking about this, mostly related to mornings.
So when the Patreon communitylaunches in June, I will have a
bonus mini episode for you toshare with you what I did in the
(25:48):
morning for a long time to helpmyself to wake up in, let's say
, a slightly less obnoxious mood.
I don't know if I was everreally obnoxious, but I
definitely am a night person.
So I trained myself to changethe way I looked at my day when
(26:09):
I got up in the morning.
And it does not involve bunchesand bunches of habits, although
I would say, if you are areader or an audiobook listener,
miracle Morning is a great bookto read or listen to, but I
didn't have an hour extra in themorning or I didn't choose to
have it Let me say it that wayand I created an affirmation for
(26:31):
myself.
I created a habit for myself.
That's very simple.
So make sure you are hanging outwith us in the Patreon
community.
Starting June 1st, you can grabyour spot on the waitlist now.
Go to CherylPFishercom.
Slash midlifepivot and makesure you do that.
We are going to have some fun.
It's free all summer.
And then make sure you've hitthe follow button, because in
(26:55):
our next episode we're talkingabout eating healthy, but, with
a twist, I have a guest joiningme who is 79 years old, has
authored a healthy cookbook andis really an amazing example for
all of us.
And in the meantime, keepremembering to slow down, notice
(27:16):
what's going on around you,what's going on in your head,
and create something amazing.
Are you a morning person or a night person
?
How do you feel about facingthe day when you get up in the
morning?
I have to confess I'm a nightperson and I have done quite a
bit of adjusting over the pastfew years to change how I feel
(00:20):
about getting up in the morning.
I'll tell you a little bitabout that at the end.
But first, what's the dealabout getting dressed?
If you're not going anywhere,does it matter whether you get
dressed for the day?
And if you are going somewhere,does it matter what you put on?
Let's talk about it.
Welcome to Mind your Midlife,your go-to resource for
(00:41):
confidence and success, onethought at a time.
Unlike most advice out there,we believe that simply telling
you to believe in yourself orchange your habits isn't enough
to wake up excited about life orfeel truly confident in your
body.
Each week you'll gainactionable strategies and oh my
(01:01):
goodness, powerful insights tostop feeling stuck and start
loving your midlife.
This is the Mind your Midlifepodcast.
As you might have guessed, sinceyou're listening to this
podcast, I work from home.
I do my coaching, my podcast,my corporate training from home,
(01:25):
most of the time.
Obviously, sometimes I go outand lead something or teach
something, but most of the timeI'm sitting in front of my
computer doing my work.
So if you were to see me on avideo or on a Zoom, am I fully
dressed or am I wearing PJs onthe bottom, or maybe what my
(01:46):
friends and I like to call softpants?
You'll never know.
And so the question is does itmatter?
Let's take it further.
What if you don't have to be onvideo?
Do you just kind of spend theday in your PJs and get your
work done?
Do you wash your face, brushyour hair, fix your hair?
(02:09):
Mine's curly brushing it wouldbe a nightmare.
Do you put on any makeup?
Have you thought about whetheryou do or don't?
Maybe you just kind of have ahabit.
Experts say it does matter howwe put ourselves together.
No matter whether we're leavingthe house or we're not.
It matters how we put ourselvestogether, and that is because
(02:34):
of how our brains perceive usand perceive the situation.
So we're going to dive intothis and see if we can make your
day even more productive andmore satisfying.
So why do we even get dressed?
Why do we pick out certainitems of clothing, like this
(02:57):
sweater I have on as I'mrecording this.
Put them on.
Why do we do our hair in acertain way?
Put our makeup on, and if youdon't wear makeup, the
equivalent is fix your hair,wash your face, whatever.
Why do we even do that?
Well, inherently, clothing andputting our best foot forward in
(03:18):
terms of face and hair is aprotection and it's kind of a
display.
So we're covering ourselves.
That's the protection.
We're maintaining our modestyto whatever extent we want to,
but we're also putting ourselveson display.
We're decorating ourselves in acertain way, and that means we
(03:43):
then feel confident andcomfortable interacting with
people that we need to interactwith or want to interact with.
We feel the way we want to feelin those situations.
So it's both a cover, which isprotecting us, and it's a
decoration to help us go out andinteract in the world the way
we want to.
And related to that, there'ssomething called enclosed
(04:06):
cognition.
I'm going to say that againbecause it's a little bit hard
to pronounce for me anywayEnclothed cognition.
And what that means is that notonly are we covering our bodies
with our clothes, but theclothes we choose are affecting
our brains, and you know, youare listening to Mind, your
(04:30):
Midlife.
So we need to talk about this.
The clothes you choose areputting you in a different
psychological state.
Clothes have a symbolic meaningand as soon as I give you some
examples, you're going to knowthis.
Even down to the single itemwhich necklace did you pick?
Which pair of shoes, which pairof glasses?
(04:51):
All of those meanings influenceour mental state.
So are you choosing to put onthe soft pants?
Are you putting on the fancier,more decorative necklace?
Are you putting on all therings and bracelets, are you not
?
They all have a meaning to usand we might not necessarily
(05:12):
consciously think about it, butthey have a meaning.
So if I'm standing at myjewelry box and I've gotten
myself all dressed and I'mpicking out a necklace, I'm
going to pick maybe amulti-strand one, like I have on
now, which I love, or maybejust a simple little one,
because, for whatever reason, Ijust want something simple.
I don't want it to show up asmuch and I don't really think
(05:32):
about it typically.
So this idea or concept ofenclosed cognition came out of
some research from NorthwesternUniversity about 11 years ago.
They did an experiment usinglab coats.
So by lab coat I mean a whitecoat that a doctor or a
scientist in a lab might wear.
(05:54):
If you're someone who worksfrom home, like I am, I doubt
you're wearing a lab coat, butyou understand the concept.
They decided they had ahypothesis that we think with
our bodies as well as our brains.
Of course we think with ourbrains, but they were wanting to
take that further, and how wefeel is based on physical
(06:17):
experiences, including theexperience of wearing clothes.
So they wanted to understandmore.
How does this actually happen?
So the participants in theexperiment either wore a lab
coat, that they were offered awhite lab coat, or they wore
their street clothes, theirregular clothes, and then the
(06:37):
people running the study testedtheir attentiveness.
So there was a group wearinglab coats during this test.
There was a group wearing theirregular clothes, and I bet you
can guess what happened.
The people that were wearing alab coat had heightened
alertness and awareness everysingle time.
(06:59):
Every single time, every singletest, they were more alert and
more aware than those who werewearing their regular clothes.
So the act of wearing thiswhite lab coat that's like a
doctor or a scientist type ofcoat, was symbolic for these
people.
It was equating for themsomething to do maybe with
(07:20):
intelligence, with focus, and itwas subconscious.
Nobody told them that you'resmarter, so you'll wear a lab
coat.
It was subconscious, there wasa symbolic meaning they assigned
to a lab coat, and so they tookthese tests, these assessments,
and every single time with alab coat on, they tested better
(07:45):
on attentiveness and alertness.
I truly, truly am fascinated bythat result.
Now, we're very familiar withuniforms, so a lab coat is one
type of uniform, but we seepeople in uniforms all the time,
right, there's police, there'sfiremen, there's a doctor
wearing scrubs, a dentistwearing scrubs.
There's just all kinds ofuniforms.
(08:07):
What they're wearing tells uswhat they do.
We interpret something abouttheir different skills and their
different abilities, and thatis absolutely inherent in how we
look at and how we define theworld.
We don't have to think about it.
We just make an assessmentabout this person because of the
(08:32):
uniform they have on.
So if we take it the other way,we're also making an assessment
of ourselves according to whatwe wear, and I give you the
uniform as a simple example, butit's anything that we wear.
If we're assessing other peoplesubconsciously, not really
realizing it unless it'ssomething very obvious, maybe
(08:55):
unusual, we're also assessingourselves depending on what we
wear.
So brain science tells us thatwhat we wear can affect how we
feel.
Feeling good about our outsidemeans we're more likely to feel
good about our inside.
(09:15):
It goes both ways.
Being well-dressed grows yourconfidence.
You're inspired, maybe, to domore.
You may be more productive whenyou're dressed well and maybe
lazier when you're in your comfyclothes, your soft clothes, and
maybe you have more attentionto detail when you're dressed
(09:37):
well.
Now let me just say you have apicture in your mind when I say
dressed well, and you might bepicturing someone in a business
suit with high heels and theirhair done and blown out and
makeup, carrying a fancy bag.
Or your version of dressed wellmight be someone with jeans and
(10:01):
a cute top and kind of a snazzybag, and we all have a
different perception of that.
So whatever picture you have inyour mind of dressed well is
fine.
My picture of dressed well, Ithink, is somewhere in the
middle of that.
The way I often dress when I'mgoing out to do something, I
(10:22):
always say my favorite look islike a blazer and jeans, nice
jeans, nice shoes, but I don'treally wear heels.
So anyway, all right, I'mgetting off topic.
Your definition of dressed wellis your definition and that's
okay, because this is aboutself-perception.
It's about how you feel aboutwhat you look like that day,
(10:45):
because that affects what you do, how you think, what's going on
in your head and how productiveyou are, how confident you are.
If you have learned anythingfrom Mind your Midlife so far,
it's that the stuff going on inour heads all day long, and in
particular, the subconsciousstuff that we don't even
(11:06):
necessarily recognize, is what'srunning a lot of our decisions
meaning our lives.
So if you are creating visuallya person that is dressed well,
your brain goes oh, I'm a personwho's productive and successful
, let me go and do that.
Your brain likes to be rightNow.
(11:28):
You're thinking to yourself oh,she's going to tell me that I
really need to get dressed everyday instead of sitting around
in my soft pants or my PJs, andI am going to tell you that.
I'm telling you that right now.
That is true, but I want you toknow that I still don't
necessarily do it every timeeither.
There are days when I reallyjust want comfort, and for me
(11:54):
that means the soft pants, thestretchy pants.
It's comfort.
It's like a little hug from myclothes.
It's just like giving myself alittle break.
Maybe I've had a hard week, ahard day.
I just need a little chill.
But if you're getting dressed tobe productive, or you're
(12:15):
getting dressed to come acrossas a professional, or you're
getting dressed to achievesomething that you really want
to achieve, the absolute key isthat you believe in your mind
that you deserve to achieve thatthing and be that professional
and be productive and get thething done.
It's entirely about what youbelieve that you deserve and
(12:37):
what you believe that you can do.
So getting dressed for that, inyour definition of it, is one
piece of that puzzle.
It is a signal to your brainthat tells you okay, now I'm
ready to do that thing I need todo.
And the reason it's a signal isbecause of the total of all of
(12:58):
our experiences.
We're in midlife, we've had manyyears to be out in the world
and have human experiences, andso I was talking to you about
uniforms.
But think about it.
You've seen movies, you've seenTV, you see social media, you
see people in your neighborhood,you see people in your office,
you see people everywhere.
(13:18):
You've had so many experienceswith different people and you
have made judgments, and I don'tmean that in a mean, icky,
judgy way.
I just mean you've interpretedpeople in your world based on
what they look like and whatthey're wearing.
We all do it.
It's how we make sense of theworld, and the sum total of all
(13:41):
of that is in your head.
It's in my head.
So when we get dressed, if weget dressed with all of that in
mind, it's really important thatwe're dressing for whatever the
situation is that we want towalk into, for whatever the
attitude is that we want to have, because it's signaling to your
brain okay, now I'm going to dothe thing.
(14:04):
It changes your mindset whenyou get dressed.
It's almost like it flips theswitch and it turns your mind on
.
If you have this change in yourinner thoughts, your inner state
of confidence, now let's talkabout what happens outward.
If you are feeling productiveand professional and ready to go
(14:27):
do the thing, you're going tointeract differently with others
as well, and you may have heardme talk about one of my phrases
that I really, really love.
I can figure it out You'regoing to go out into the world
and interact with people withthe thought in your mind.
I can figure it out You'regoing to go out into the world
and interact with people withthe thought in your mind I can
figure it out, I'm going tofigure it out.
And that opens you up todifferent interaction with
(14:50):
people in your life and withchallenges in your life.
You know, you got it together,you are raring to go, and it
changes entirely, entirely, howyou interact with other people,
and that's why we have theseperceptions of the way people
are dressed, because whoeveryou're interacting with is now
going to experience you in adifferent way.
(15:13):
Now you heard me talking aboutmakeup, so I'm not telling you
you have to wear makeup and I'mnot telling you what it means to
dress well, that is yourself-definition and I think if
you sit for a minute and thinkabout it, you'll know what it is
.
But the lipstick thing is funny.
I want to tell you a littlestory.
When I was growing up and Iknow my sister would remember
(15:34):
this too our mom would not leavethe driveway without her
lipstick on, and I'm notexaggerating in any way.
I can remember multipleoccasions when we would all be
in the car she well, she and mysister and me my mom would be
backing the car out of thedriveway and she would realize
(15:55):
that she had forgotten to puther lipstick on, she would stop
the car in the driveway, get thelipstick out of the purse, put
the lipstick on using the rearview mirror and then we proceed
as normal, absolutely not makingthat up.
Now I'm not trying to make funof my mom.
(16:18):
That is what she did forherself, as her way of
symbolizing and I'm sure shedidn't really sit and think this
through in a conscious way butas her way of symbolizing to
herself okay, world, I'm ready,let's go.
So for you, it might belipstick, it might be makeup in
(16:39):
general, it might be a hairstyle, it might be a certain bag, it
might be a certain type ofclothing, a certain style,
certain shoes.
It's something, there'ssomething that communicates to
your mind okay, I'm in, I'mready, I can do this.
It sets the tone for you to beproductive and it also signals
(17:00):
others that you are ready to getthings done.
So the question that I tend toget when I talk about this with
my coaching clients is you know,I'm at home, I'm on Zoom, or
maybe I don't even have mycamera on.
I don't have to have my cameraon.
Nobody's going to see me, whydoes it matter?
Or even, I'm on Zoom, but noone's going to see my pants.
(17:22):
Why does it matter what pantsI'm wearing?
And for my British listeners italways kind of makes me chuckle
.
I think pants my Britishlisteners, it always kind of
makes me chuckle.
I think pants in the UK meanunderwear.
So I'm talking about trousershopefully not just underwear.
But why does it matter?
(17:42):
As I told you a few minutes ago,I definitely sometimes don't
follow my own advice.
This is how we all are.
On occasion, sometimes I needthe soft pants on the bottom or
have my PJs on.
But each time when I've done it, when I've had a nice work
shirt on the top, you know,makeup and hair done and just my
PJs on the bottom, I actuallyfeel more disheveled, to be
(18:03):
honest, because if I ever walkby and see myself in the mirror,
I look like I'm on the streetwith no home.
I've pulled some clothingrandomly and it doesn't go
together.
It looks weird.
When I see myself looking likethat, is that me creating
confidence and productivity forme?
When I look at myself and I see, whoa, like what is going on
(18:27):
there?
It's not.
It's affecting how I feel aboutmyself that day, even though I
know and I made that decisionit's in there Putting on real
clothes all the way up and down.
My rule is you don't have towear shoes, because I don't wear
shoes in my house, but again,you make your own rule.
But being dressed up and downhead toe is going to give you
(18:53):
more confidence, give you moreof the feeling that you've got
this.
And here let me add one morepiece to this If you are dressed
, you are more likely to leavethe house and go out into the
world, and it is healthy for youand for me to go out into the
world.
Maybe you go for a walk aroundthe block, maybe you go and get
(19:16):
a coffee, maybe you meet afriend for coffee, maybe you go
out and go to a networking event, maybe you go to do some type
of hobby that you enjoy.
If you don't actually have toget dressed, it seems easier.
You're already dressed, you putyour shoes on, you grab your
coat, whatever you go, reallyhealthy options happen because
(19:36):
you're actually dressed.
And in fact, a few episodesfrom now I'm going to talk about
walking and the power ofwalking.
And so, if you actually aredressed, it's so easy to just
get up on your break or at lunchand take a walk around the
block.
In whatever you're wearing, itdoesn't matter.
You just put some shoes on andgo take a walk around the block.
You can do that in anything.
(19:58):
I just want to add before wewrap up here what if you do have
to go to the office?
If you're still hanging inthere listening to me and you do
have to go to the office, youobviously are probably not
wearing your PJs.
You're probably also notwearing your soft pants to the
office and, that being said,this is powerful for you as well
(20:22):
.
This is where the whole sayingdress for success came from.
The decision you make aboutwhat you're wearing is
communicating as much to you toyourself as it is to anyone else
, maybe even more I'm going tosay as a mindset coach maybe
it's even more impactful to youwhat you choose to wear.
(20:44):
Don't worry about everybodyelse.
They can think what they thinkand do what they do.
It's impactful to you.
How do you want your day to be,how do you want to feel today?
And so that's what I want youto take away from this.
Here's your.
Oh, my goodness.
This is the one thing I have toremember.
Be intentional about puttingyourself together, getting
(21:05):
dressed.
Ask yourself how do I want tofeel today?
Yourself, how do I want to feeltoday, and then dress for that.
Put clothes on that embody thestate of mind that you want.
Different clothes havedifferent meanings for you, and
we do not probably each otherhave the same interpretation or
(21:26):
give the same meaning to variousclothes, and that's fine.
But what do they mean to you?
So, when you are thinking, whatam I going to wear, I want you
to ask yourself how do I want tofeel?
Do I want to feel powerful?
Do I want to feel professional?
Maybe that leans a bit moretowards officey wear.
(21:47):
Do I want to be superproductive?
Do I want to feel desirable?
Maybe that's more towards Idon't know nightlife wear.
Do I want to be relaxed?
Actually, the soft pants wouldbe the right choice, baby.
Do I want to be creative?
Then that might mean somethingdifferent.
Imagine outfits.
(22:09):
Picture outfits that go witheach of these different
adjectives.
Some of them might be quitesimilar, but some of them are
going to be different.
Dress for how you want to feelabout yourself, because when we
don't take any time to make thedecision about what we're going
(22:31):
to wear Actually, I don't evenwant to say it that way, this
decision doesn't have to take alot of time.
But when we don't put on to ourbody something that makes us
feel the way we want to feel,we're just cheating ourselves
out of a huge piece of mindset.
That is tremendously powerfuland this way you can do whatever
(22:51):
you want.
Is it a day when you reallyneed rest Because you do
regularly, you really need tochill, you're not trying to get
work done?
Then maybe PJs is absolutelythe right choice.
Rest is powerful.
It's about making the decision,having an intention and, if I
(23:13):
may say I'm she's going to talka bit more about this.
But if you're keeping clothes inyour closet, in your drawer,
that make you feel bad aboutyourself, maybe it's because you
used to be a different size, orI don't know.
(23:35):
I don't know why clothes makeyou feel bad about yourself
necessarily, or maybe they'reyour size, but when you put it
on, you're kind of not sure youfeel comfortable, or you know
what I mean.
Do you really want to gothrough the whole day not
feeling great about what you puton your body?
No, get rid of them, give themaway.
Maybe they'll, maybe they'll bethe right thing for somebody
(23:57):
else.
So if you ask yourself how do Iwant to feel today?
And then you put yourselftogether in a way that embodies
that decision.
You've already won more thanhalf the battle of going out
into the world, whether it's ona computer or really, and you're
(24:21):
going to know do I have theright clothes?
Maybe I need more professionalclothes?
Maybe I need more professionalclothes.
Maybe I need more relaxedclothes.
Maybe I got to start overbecause I don't even feel
comfortable in my clothes.
It's about how you want to feel,because that is going to be
about how you are thinking aboutyourself, and all of that is
going to affect what you do andhow you interact with other
(24:45):
people.
To affect what you do and howyou interact with other people.
It matters.
And let me add this let's thinkabout the end of the day.
If you're someone who hastrouble shutting work off,
shutting down, getting off thecomputer, getting out of work
mode, then this might help youas well.
How do I want to feel now?
Maybe you change and you put onthe soft clothes, or maybe even
(25:06):
the PJs.
You can put PJs on whatevertime you want.
You are signaling to your brainwhether it's time to work,
whether it's time to relax,whether the workday is over,
whether it's time to have fun,whatever it is you're signaling
to your brain by what you aregetting dressed in.
So ask yourself, how do I wantto feel?
(25:27):
And then get dressed, knowingthe answer to that question and
helping yourself to achieve thatfeeling.
We're kind of talking about this, mostly related to mornings.
So when the Patreon communitylaunches in June, I will have a
bonus mini episode for you toshare with you what I did in the
(25:48):
morning for a long time to helpmyself to wake up in, let's say
, a slightly less obnoxious mood.
I don't know if I was everreally obnoxious, but I
definitely am a night person.
So I trained myself to changethe way I looked at my day when
(26:09):
I got up in the morning.
And it does not involve bunchesand bunches of habits, although
I would say, if you are areader or an audiobook listener,
miracle Morning is a great bookto read or listen to, but I
didn't have an hour extra in themorning or I didn't choose to
have it Let me say it that wayand I created an affirmation for
(26:31):
myself.
I created a habit for myself.
That's very simple.
So make sure you are hanging outwith us in the Patreon
community.
Starting June 1st, you can grabyour spot on the waitlist now.
Go to CherylPFishercom.
Slash midlifepivot and makesure you do that.
We are going to have some fun.
It's free all summer.
And then make sure you've hitthe follow button, because in
(26:55):
our next episode we're talkingabout eating healthy, but, with
a twist, I have a guest joiningme who is 79 years old, has
authored a healthy cookbook andis really an amazing example for
all of us.
And in the meantime, keepremembering to slow down, notice
(27:16):
what's going on around you,what's going on in your head,
and create something amazing.
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