July 18, 2025 • 22 mins
Ever feel stuck when someone asks what you really want? Like… how are you supposed to answer that with everything going on? If you’re a midlife woman navigating shifting priorities, menopause, and what can feel like a midlife crisis, you’re not alone—and it’s not too late to get clear.
In this episode, I’m sharing one of my favorite tools to help you stop spinning your wheels and start uncovering what actually lights you up. (Hint: It’s not another to-do list.) Whether you’re 40, 50, or somewhere in between, this mindset shift will help you start dreaming again—with clarity, intention, and a little fun.
💛 If you’ve been too busy to figure out what you want or feel nervous about reinventing yourself, this episode is for you.
BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU’LL DISCOVER:
✔ Why women over 40 often struggle to name what they really want—and how to change that
✔ The brain science behind vision boards (and why they actually work)
✔ How to use feelings, not goals, to guide your next chapter
✔ Why starting something new in midlife is a powerful act of self-care and confidence
✔ How to use your reticular activating system to support mental clarity and happiness
🎯 OMG Moment:
Don’t let the question “What do I want?” feel like a weight around your neck. It’s not pressure—it’s a gift to rediscover who you are and who you want to be next.
Take Action
Want a step-by-step guide for building a vision board that actually reflects your midlife goals and feelings? Join me on Patreon for the full how-to and bonus tools (including ChatGPT prompts!): patreon.com/mindyourmidlife
Why This Episode Matters
Midlife women are too often told to quiet down or just coast—but that’s not you. If you’re craving fulfillment, a mindset shift, or a fresh sense of purpose, this episode is a gentle nudge to get curious again. You don’t need a 5-year plan. You just need a vision for how you want to feel.
🎧 Hit follow now and join me next week for a deep dive into limiting beliefs—and how to stop letting them hold you back from the life you deserve.
Text me to ask a question - I'll answer on the podcast!
🌸 Liked this episode? Share it with fellow midlife women over 40 navigating hormone balance, an empty nest, and self-confidence!
🫶 Love this show? Leave a review to help more women over 50 find us.
💡Want support through menopause, mindset shifts, or midlife transitions?
Book a free Mindset Coaching / Intro Call: cherylpfischer.com/coaching, and join us in Midlife Pivot on Patreon.
Let’s talk self-care, self-talk, and owning your next chapter—without the “midlife crisis” narrative.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Cheryl Fischer (00:00):
I think that one of the toughest questions that
I could ask you right now inmidlife and I mean what the heck
?
Maybe at any age, I suspect,but one of the toughest
questions is what do you reallywant?
Where do you want to be in fiveyears?
(00:26):
Or what do you really want in ajob or relationship or whatever
?
When I'm coaching, I often seesort of a blank look or a look
of panic.
Why is it so hard for us tofigure out what we really want?
Well, guess what?
I'm going to help you.
We're going to take a lessonfrom entrepreneurs and make this
a little bit easier.
So stick with me.
(00:47):
Welcome to Mind your Midlife,your go-to resource for
confidence and success, onethought at a time, unlike most
advice out there, we believethat simply telling you to
believe in yourself or changeyour habits isn't enough to wake
up excited about life or feeltruly confident in your body.
(01:07):
Each week, you'll gainactionable strategies and oh my
goodness powerful insights tostop feeling stuck and start
loving your midlife.
This is the Mind your Midlifepodcast.
When we hit our mid-40s, our50s, our early 60s, we often are
(01:34):
coming out of a period of lifethat has been really busy, and
maybe that was raising kids,maybe it was really focusing on
growing a career.
Who knows, it could be a coupleof different things, and maybe
we didn't really have time for awhile there to think about what
do I want?
How do I want to spend my time?
(01:55):
What's my goal?
But here's what happens now.
Number one sometimes we have abit more free time.
If you have raised kids andthey are now out of the house or
somewhat out of the house, youprobably have a little bit more
free time in your schedule.
And two we start to see howvaluable time is.
(02:20):
We start to see that the yearsare just flying by and if you're
anything like me, in my headI'm like 35, 38, maybe Not 54.
I'm not 54 in my head, and sowhen I realize I actually am 54,
(02:41):
then I think, oh wow, ifthere's stuff I want to do, I
better do it.
Now.
We're starting to see that weneed to actually take action
before we waste more time, andthat's really good, except when
it creates stress, where we'rethinking now I don't know what I
(03:04):
want to do.
Who do I want to hang out with?
What do I want to achieve?
Do I have time?
Is it too late.
It creates this whole spiral ofstress potentially, and so
let's see if we can make thiseasier.
My idea for you is somethingthat I learned when I first
(03:26):
started my first online business.
The first time that I had anyexposure to entrepreneurship was
in a direct selling company and, honestly, is the only reason
I'm here today, because Istarted to understand the power
of mindset and the fact that Ibetter pay attention to all the
(03:50):
words in my head and coming outof my mouth if I was going to go
for big goals and be my ownboss.
So if you've never been in asituation where you had to be
your own motivator and your ownboss action taker, then this may
be a little bit different wayof thinking and I think it's
(04:11):
going to help you.
Entrepreneurs know that inorder to grow their business,
it's on them, and that can feelscary and exciting in equal
measure, and that can feel scaryand exciting in equal measure.
So if it's on them, then theybetter figure out where they're
going.
(04:35):
And the way I always used to sayit is imagine you get in your
car and you back out of thegarage or the driveway and
you're on the street and youstart driving and you have no
destination in mind.
You've not put anything in theApple Maps or Waze or whatever.
You don't even pay attention towhether you went left or right
out of the driveway, you justdrive.
(04:57):
That's equivalent to we'redoing a business and we don't
know where we're going.
We're just doing the thingsevery day.
You have to have a destinationin mind.
When you're an entrepreneur,you have to have something that
you're trying to work for.
When you're an employee, Ithink you're trying to work for
(05:17):
promotions and you're trying towork for good relationships in
the office and new opportunities, and they're doing well in your
boss's eyes.
There are built-in things towork for.
As an entrepreneur, you have tocreate them yourself so that you
are getting in your car, yourbusiness, driving out of the
driveway and following the pathyou need to follow to go to the
(05:41):
destination you want to go to.
If you don't know where you'regoing, you're just aimlessly
driving around, and that mightbe fun for a Sunday drive, but
it's not so effective forbuilding a business and creating
something amazing.
So what entrepreneurs do isthey come up with a vision of
what they really want, and maybeit's a vision of one year from
(06:04):
now, five years from now, 10years from now, it doesn't
matter, because we're going todo this for our lives.
So, an entrepreneur, the way weused to do this and I'm going
to say this is absolutely anoption for you if it floats your
boat.
The way we used to do this iscut out pictures of magazines
(06:25):
and put them all on a board sothat it looked like something
wow, this is what we want.
Now we can do this online we'regoing to talk about that but
the point is to have somethingvisual in front of you that is
exciting, that you can worktowards.
That's what a vision board is.
It is not fluff.
It is giving you something tofocus on.
(06:46):
And for us, as midlife women,who we're not necessarily an
entrepreneur, we're notnecessarily creating a business
I understand that everybody'sdifferent it's giving you focus
and it's making it easier tofigure out what the heck you
actually want.
So why does a vision board evenwork?
(07:08):
Because I will confess that thefirst time someone told me I
should make a vision board, Ikind of rolled my eyes.
You may have heard me saybefore I didn't have the
greatest attitude about personaldevelopment in the past, but
then I looked at the brainscience, we have a system in our
(07:29):
brain each of our brains calledthe reticular activating system
or the RAS, and it's filteringwhat we notice.
So the reticular activatingsystem takes in all the input.
If you, whatever you're doingright now, just pause.
(07:52):
If you're driving, please becareful.
Just pause and look around andpay attention to kind of
everything you can see.
Typically you don't payattention to everything you can
see, but your eyes are takingthat in.
Your eyes are taking in all theinformation about all the
(08:12):
things around you.
All of your senses are takingin information smells, taste,
sound, touch all of that.
All of that information iscoming in all the time.
It's a lot.
And so your reticularactivating system decides for
you, like a filter, which itemsare you going to actually notice
(08:37):
, and it just throws the restout.
So I have a window to my rightand out of the corner of my eye
I know there are trees withgreen leaves out there, but my
brain probably has moreinformation about what's going
on out there than I realize.
But until I turn and look andactually focus on it, I'm not
(08:59):
really paying attention and mybrain's going to filter it out.
That's not my focus.
It's going to leave it alone.
So how does your brain knowwhat to filter?
It wants to be right number one, so it's going to find the
evidence that agrees with whatyou believe in your subconscious
(09:19):
brain.
Do you believe you're fit andhealthy?
It's going to find evidence ofthat.
Do you believe that you arehaving a great day?
It's going to find evidence ofthat.
Do you believe that you arehaving a great day?
It's going to find evidence ofthat.
Do you believe you're not agreat speaker and you never can
think of something witty to say?
It's going to find you someevidence of that.
You see what I mean.
We once bought a minivan and theone that happened to be
(09:43):
available was this weirdgray-green color.
And I thought to myself I havenever seen a car this color.
What color is this?
And it was everything else wewanted in the van.
So, okay, fine.
Well, guess what happened?
As soon as I saw that minivanhadn't even bought it yet the
next day I started seeing thesegray-green Toyotas everywhere.
(10:06):
They were there before, but myview of the world didn't believe
that that color exists, so Ididn't notice.
What I want for you is a way toget your brain to notice
evidence that agrees with whatyou really want.
(10:28):
So in the bookPsycho-Cybernetics, the author
talks about creating a video, amovie of your life, and the
reason he talks about that isbecause visualization is really
powerful.
Now, if you are really intobrain science and you're really
into mindset like I am as acoach, of course I am then
(10:51):
you'll find this reallyfascinating.
If not, I don't think that metelling you to sit down and
create a movie of your life andplay it in your brain all the
time is super helpful to you atthis moment in midlife.
But the vision board can be aneasy way and the cool part is
that seeing images of what youwant and how you want things to
(11:16):
go is just about the same asactually trying to create this
movie and play it in your headand have visualization.
And if you regularly are facedwith images of something you
really want, it boosts yourmotivation.
You know, we all kind of run outof motivation sometimes and we
(11:36):
just like I don't feel like it,nevermind, we talk ourselves out
of something when we hit alittle road bump.
And you're going to hit alittle road bump somewhere,
right, we talk ourselves out ofit because we kind of lost the
motivation or maybe we got alittle bit nervous.
Seeing images of what we reallywant reminds us that we really
want those things and it reducessome of that fear, it reduces
(11:59):
some of that hesitation, itmakes it a little bit more
challenging to talk ourselvesout of something and basically,
what you're doing is you'retrying to teach your brain to
experience that reality of whatyou want now, so that it gets
comfortable and that's what itexpects, because now that's what
it's going to show you evidencefor using that filter.
(12:22):
All right.
So when you are sitting here inyour late 40s, your early 50s,
mid 50s, late 50s, whatever andyou're thinking you know, I have
this many years left in mycareer and what do I want to do?
What am I going to do?
Maybe you're thinking aboutretirement.
What am I going to do?
(12:42):
I don't want to be bored.
Will I be bored?
Who will I hang out with?
What will I do?
Do I want to try something thatI never did?
Maybe I do have time still inmy life to do that.
Yes, you do.
We're going through this andsometimes we get ourselves
worked up.
This is what I want you to usethe vision board, for I want you
to make it fun to create thesedreams and let it be like a
(13:09):
five-year, 10-year thing, not aplan, not something that's hard
and we need to sit down andfocus and make it difficult fun.
Make it fun and I'm going tohelp you with that.
One of the really powerfulthings you can do for yourself
is actually try something new inmidlife.
So you had an idea of abusiness to start, you know, 15
(13:33):
years ago and you never did itand it's still in there and
you're still thinking about it.
Try it.
Or you've always wanted tovolunteer with this particular
group or doing something relatedto animals or whatever it is.
Try it.
You've always wanted to learn anew sport or a new game try it.
But me saying try it doesn'ttake away the nervousness at the
(13:57):
beginning when we in our 50shave to go and be a beginner at
something that is going to be alittle bit uncomfortable.
The vision board helps you kindof give some shape to what it
will feel like when you do thatand when you get good at doing
(14:19):
that and when you do itregularly and you enjoy it.
It's allowing these newchallenges that might feel scary
or you might be unsure about,to be enjoyable, to be self-care
, to be something you thinkabout happily In a, I think, a
(14:41):
very cool way.
We can kind of jump over someof the scaries, because we're
going to teach our brains bylooking at this vision board
that all this stuff is reallycool.
Okay, so what do you need to do?
Ready, we're going to createyour vision.
I want you to start with afeeling, not a goal.
This is not meant to be hard.
(15:03):
This is not meant to bework-related, necessarily, and
that's related to what youreally, really, really want to
do.
Start with a feeling.
How do I want to feel most daysover the next few years?
Want to feel most days over thenext few years?
(15:25):
There's so many feeling wordsFor my Patreon members.
I'm going to give you the wheelof emotions so that this makes
it easier.
Do you want to feel strong?
Do you want to feel healthy?
Do you want to feel connected?
Do you want to feel active?
Do you want to feel well?
I don't know.
Your feelings are going to bethe guide.
And then the second step is putaway the to-do list.
I don't want your vision boardto say try pickleball, try
(15:49):
mahjong, go on a trip.
What I want you to do insteadis ask yourself what are the
things I can do that make mefeel that way, that way that I
want to feel?
Can I start walking with myfriends?
Can I think about where I wantto go if I want to travel?
(16:12):
Think about it visually.
What's a picture that, if youimagine yourself in that picture
doing that thing, you feel theway you want to feel?
Maybe it's words and this isgoing to depend on kind of what
type of thinker and processoryou are.
Maybe it's words.
(16:32):
Maybe the feeling word that youpick becomes sort of all sorts
of related words about adventureor healthy or all different
things.
Maybe it almost becomes like aword map.
You're jotting down words thatjust make you feel so powerful
(16:52):
in that way.
Or maybe it's quotes that way,or maybe it's quotes, maybe you
have a favorite quote or twothat really make you feel good
and relate to how you want tolive the next five to 10 years.
That's how you're going to comeup with the pictures or the
words or the quotes that then goall together on this actual
(17:14):
physical vision board, posterboard, or maybe just on a
digital make a collage.
Put it on your well, put iteverywhere.
Put it on the inside of yourcloset door.
Put it on your bathroom mirror.
Put it as your phone background.
Put it as your computerbackground.
Put it on the side of yourrefrigerator where you are when
(17:36):
you drink your coffee in themorning.
Put it next to your bed so youcan look at it at night.
Put it everywhere and when youlook at it, make sure that you
get that feeling that you wantto get and make sure it's a
positive feeling.
None of this telling yourself,man, I'm not there yet, kind of
(17:56):
junk Positive feeling.
Look at it and purposefullyfeel good and excited about,
about having your life with allof those things in it.
And you can.
There's no rules.
You can do it however you wantto do it, especially because
this is for life, it's not forwork, it's not for business,
(18:18):
it's for anything you want it tobe.
You can look any way you wantit to look.
You're making yourselfsomething to look at that is
inspiring and it makes you feelgood.
And then, maybe after a while,you update it, maybe parts of it
.
You're like I thought I wantedto be like really into
pickleball, but I tried it a fewtimes and yeah, it's not for me
(18:39):
, so let me just cover that upwith something else.
That's fine, do it?
Make sure you still resonatewith it.
So, for my Patreon members, Ihave how-to guide to walk you
through exactly how to create avision board, the questions that
I want you to think about andinstructions on how to ask chat
(19:03):
gpt to help you make it.
Let's make this easier forourselves, shall, shall we?
I think so, and if you heardlast week's episode where Dee
Davidson told us to have chatGPT give us some meal ideas,
let's use chat GPT to make ourlives easier.
Why not?
I love that.
(19:23):
Use for it.
Come hang out with us inPatreon, at patreoncom.
Slash mind your midlife and youwill see the exact how-to steps
to create this for yourself, andI promise you it will be
straightforward and fun.
So here's your OMG moment toremember for today.
Don't let the question of whatdo I want to do in the next five
(19:50):
to 10 years become kind of aheavy chain hanging around your
neck.
Let it be a light and happy andexciting question and making
yourself something visual tolook at, about what your life
can look at if you add in thethings that are fun for you and
(20:11):
the things that you'reenthusiastic about.
That just helps you rememberthat all the time, that this is
not a hard weigh-me-down thing.
It's exciting to be able tomove forward and to figure these
things out.
You don't have to know exactlyhow you're going to get there.
You have to know kind of whereyou're going so that we're not
(20:33):
driving out of the driveway andjust aimlessly wandering around.
So I will see you on Patreonfor the exact how-to guide.
Come find me on social too andtell me when you try these tips
and how the vision board worksfor you.
I'm at Cheryl P Fisher on prettymuch every social.
Come find me.
I would love to hear from you.
(20:54):
Drop me a note and then makesure you've hit the follow
button, because next time I havea guest joining me to talk
about limiting beliefs.
So we might be ready to moveforward and yet something kind
of still keeps stopping us inour tracks and holding us back.
It's probably a limiting belief, and notice how this all goes
(21:15):
together.
So I'll see you then and in themeantime, remember, slow down,
notice what's going on in yourhead, what's going on around you
, and let's create somethingamazing.
I think that one of the toughest questions that
I could ask you right now inmidlife and I mean what the heck
?
Maybe at any age, I suspect,but one of the toughest
questions is what do you reallywant?
Where do you want to be in fiveyears?
(00:26):
Or what do you really want in ajob or relationship or whatever
?
When I'm coaching, I often seesort of a blank look or a look
of panic.
Why is it so hard for us tofigure out what we really want?
Well, guess what?
I'm going to help you.
We're going to take a lessonfrom entrepreneurs and make this
a little bit easier.
So stick with me.
(00:47):
Welcome to Mind your Midlife,your go-to resource for
confidence and success, onethought at a time, unlike most
advice out there, we believethat simply telling you to
believe in yourself or changeyour habits isn't enough to wake
up excited about life or feeltruly confident in your body.
(01:07):
Each week, you'll gainactionable strategies and oh my
goodness powerful insights tostop feeling stuck and start
loving your midlife.
This is the Mind your Midlifepodcast.
When we hit our mid-40s, our50s, our early 60s, we often are
(01:34):
coming out of a period of lifethat has been really busy, and
maybe that was raising kids,maybe it was really focusing on
growing a career.
Who knows, it could be a coupleof different things, and maybe
we didn't really have time for awhile there to think about what
do I want?
How do I want to spend my time?
(01:55):
What's my goal?
But here's what happens now.
Number one sometimes we have abit more free time.
If you have raised kids andthey are now out of the house or
somewhat out of the house, youprobably have a little bit more
free time in your schedule.
And two we start to see howvaluable time is.
(02:20):
We start to see that the yearsare just flying by and if you're
anything like me, in my headI'm like 35, 38, maybe Not 54.
I'm not 54 in my head, and sowhen I realize I actually am 54,
(02:41):
then I think, oh wow, ifthere's stuff I want to do, I
better do it.
Now.
We're starting to see that weneed to actually take action
before we waste more time, andthat's really good, except when
it creates stress, where we'rethinking now I don't know what I
(03:04):
want to do.
Who do I want to hang out with?
What do I want to achieve?
Do I have time?
Is it too late.
It creates this whole spiral ofstress potentially, and so
let's see if we can make thiseasier.
My idea for you is somethingthat I learned when I first
(03:26):
started my first online business.
The first time that I had anyexposure to entrepreneurship was
in a direct selling company and, honestly, is the only reason
I'm here today, because Istarted to understand the power
of mindset and the fact that Ibetter pay attention to all the
(03:50):
words in my head and coming outof my mouth if I was going to go
for big goals and be my ownboss.
So if you've never been in asituation where you had to be
your own motivator and your ownboss action taker, then this may
be a little bit different wayof thinking and I think it's
(04:11):
going to help you.
Entrepreneurs know that inorder to grow their business,
it's on them, and that can feelscary and exciting in equal
measure, and that can feel scaryand exciting in equal measure.
So if it's on them, then theybetter figure out where they're
going.
(04:35):
And the way I always used to sayit is imagine you get in your
car and you back out of thegarage or the driveway and
you're on the street and youstart driving and you have no
destination in mind.
You've not put anything in theApple Maps or Waze or whatever.
You don't even pay attention towhether you went left or right
out of the driveway, you justdrive.
(04:57):
That's equivalent to we'redoing a business and we don't
know where we're going.
We're just doing the thingsevery day.
You have to have a destinationin mind.
When you're an entrepreneur,you have to have something that
you're trying to work for.
When you're an employee, Ithink you're trying to work for
(05:17):
promotions and you're trying towork for good relationships in
the office and new opportunities, and they're doing well in your
boss's eyes.
There are built-in things towork for.
As an entrepreneur, you have tocreate them yourself so that you
are getting in your car, yourbusiness, driving out of the
driveway and following the pathyou need to follow to go to the
(05:41):
destination you want to go to.
If you don't know where you'regoing, you're just aimlessly
driving around, and that mightbe fun for a Sunday drive, but
it's not so effective forbuilding a business and creating
something amazing.
So what entrepreneurs do isthey come up with a vision of
what they really want, and maybeit's a vision of one year from
(06:04):
now, five years from now, 10years from now, it doesn't
matter, because we're going todo this for our lives.
So, an entrepreneur, the way weused to do this and I'm going
to say this is absolutely anoption for you if it floats your
boat.
The way we used to do this iscut out pictures of magazines
(06:25):
and put them all on a board sothat it looked like something
wow, this is what we want.
Now we can do this online we'regoing to talk about that but
the point is to have somethingvisual in front of you that is
exciting, that you can worktowards.
That's what a vision board is.
It is not fluff.
It is giving you something tofocus on.
(06:46):
And for us, as midlife women,who we're not necessarily an
entrepreneur, we're notnecessarily creating a business
I understand that everybody'sdifferent it's giving you focus
and it's making it easier tofigure out what the heck you
actually want.
So why does a vision board evenwork?
(07:08):
Because I will confess that thefirst time someone told me I
should make a vision board, Ikind of rolled my eyes.
You may have heard me saybefore I didn't have the
greatest attitude about personaldevelopment in the past, but
then I looked at the brainscience, we have a system in our
(07:29):
brain each of our brains calledthe reticular activating system
or the RAS, and it's filteringwhat we notice.
So the reticular activatingsystem takes in all the input.
If you, whatever you're doingright now, just pause.
(07:52):
If you're driving, please becareful.
Just pause and look around andpay attention to kind of
everything you can see.
Typically you don't payattention to everything you can
see, but your eyes are takingthat in.
Your eyes are taking in all theinformation about all the
(08:12):
things around you.
All of your senses are takingin information smells, taste,
sound, touch all of that.
All of that information iscoming in all the time.
It's a lot.
And so your reticularactivating system decides for
you, like a filter, which itemsare you going to actually notice
(08:37):
, and it just throws the restout.
So I have a window to my rightand out of the corner of my eye
I know there are trees withgreen leaves out there, but my
brain probably has moreinformation about what's going
on out there than I realize.
But until I turn and look andactually focus on it, I'm not
(08:59):
really paying attention and mybrain's going to filter it out.
That's not my focus.
It's going to leave it alone.
So how does your brain knowwhat to filter?
It wants to be right number one, so it's going to find the
evidence that agrees with whatyou believe in your subconscious
(09:19):
brain.
Do you believe you're fit andhealthy?
It's going to find evidence ofthat.
Do you believe that you arehaving a great day?
It's going to find evidence ofthat.
Do you believe that you arehaving a great day?
It's going to find evidence ofthat.
Do you believe you're not agreat speaker and you never can
think of something witty to say?
It's going to find you someevidence of that.
You see what I mean.
We once bought a minivan and theone that happened to be
(09:43):
available was this weirdgray-green color.
And I thought to myself I havenever seen a car this color.
What color is this?
And it was everything else wewanted in the van.
So, okay, fine.
Well, guess what happened?
As soon as I saw that minivanhadn't even bought it yet the
next day I started seeing thesegray-green Toyotas everywhere.
(10:06):
They were there before, but myview of the world didn't believe
that that color exists, so Ididn't notice.
What I want for you is a way toget your brain to notice
evidence that agrees with whatyou really want.
(10:28):
So in the bookPsycho-Cybernetics, the author
talks about creating a video, amovie of your life, and the
reason he talks about that isbecause visualization is really
powerful.
Now, if you are really intobrain science and you're really
into mindset like I am as acoach, of course I am then
(10:51):
you'll find this reallyfascinating.
If not, I don't think that metelling you to sit down and
create a movie of your life andplay it in your brain all the
time is super helpful to you atthis moment in midlife.
But the vision board can be aneasy way and the cool part is
that seeing images of what youwant and how you want things to
(11:16):
go is just about the same asactually trying to create this
movie and play it in your headand have visualization.
And if you regularly are facedwith images of something you
really want, it boosts yourmotivation.
You know, we all kind of run outof motivation sometimes and we
(11:36):
just like I don't feel like it,nevermind, we talk ourselves out
of something when we hit alittle road bump.
And you're going to hit alittle road bump somewhere,
right, we talk ourselves out ofit because we kind of lost the
motivation or maybe we got alittle bit nervous.
Seeing images of what we reallywant reminds us that we really
want those things and it reducessome of that fear, it reduces
(11:59):
some of that hesitation, itmakes it a little bit more
challenging to talk ourselvesout of something and basically,
what you're doing is you'retrying to teach your brain to
experience that reality of whatyou want now, so that it gets
comfortable and that's what itexpects, because now that's what
it's going to show you evidencefor using that filter.
(12:22):
All right.
So when you are sitting here inyour late 40s, your early 50s,
mid 50s, late 50s, whatever andyou're thinking you know, I have
this many years left in mycareer and what do I want to do?
What am I going to do?
Maybe you're thinking aboutretirement.
What am I going to do?
(12:42):
I don't want to be bored.
Will I be bored?
Who will I hang out with?
What will I do?
Do I want to try something thatI never did?
Maybe I do have time still inmy life to do that.
Yes, you do.
We're going through this andsometimes we get ourselves
worked up.
This is what I want you to usethe vision board, for I want you
to make it fun to create thesedreams and let it be like a
(13:09):
five-year, 10-year thing, not aplan, not something that's hard
and we need to sit down andfocus and make it difficult fun.
Make it fun and I'm going tohelp you with that.
One of the really powerfulthings you can do for yourself
is actually try something new inmidlife.
So you had an idea of abusiness to start, you know, 15
(13:33):
years ago and you never did itand it's still in there and
you're still thinking about it.
Try it.
Or you've always wanted tovolunteer with this particular
group or doing something relatedto animals or whatever it is.
Try it.
You've always wanted to learn anew sport or a new game try it.
But me saying try it doesn'ttake away the nervousness at the
(13:57):
beginning when we in our 50shave to go and be a beginner at
something that is going to be alittle bit uncomfortable.
The vision board helps you kindof give some shape to what it
will feel like when you do thatand when you get good at doing
(14:19):
that and when you do itregularly and you enjoy it.
It's allowing these newchallenges that might feel scary
or you might be unsure about,to be enjoyable, to be self-care
, to be something you thinkabout happily In a, I think, a
(14:41):
very cool way.
We can kind of jump over someof the scaries, because we're
going to teach our brains bylooking at this vision board
that all this stuff is reallycool.
Okay, so what do you need to do?
Ready, we're going to createyour vision.
I want you to start with afeeling, not a goal.
This is not meant to be hard.
(15:03):
This is not meant to bework-related, necessarily, and
that's related to what youreally, really, really want to
do.
Start with a feeling.
How do I want to feel most daysover the next few years?
Want to feel most days over thenext few years?
(15:25):
There's so many feeling wordsFor my Patreon members.
I'm going to give you the wheelof emotions so that this makes
it easier.
Do you want to feel strong?
Do you want to feel healthy?
Do you want to feel connected?
Do you want to feel active?
Do you want to feel well?
I don't know.
Your feelings are going to bethe guide.
And then the second step is putaway the to-do list.
I don't want your vision boardto say try pickleball, try
(15:49):
mahjong, go on a trip.
What I want you to do insteadis ask yourself what are the
things I can do that make mefeel that way, that way that I
want to feel?
Can I start walking with myfriends?
Can I think about where I wantto go if I want to travel?
(16:12):
Think about it visually.
What's a picture that, if youimagine yourself in that picture
doing that thing, you feel theway you want to feel?
Maybe it's words and this isgoing to depend on kind of what
type of thinker and processoryou are.
Maybe it's words.
(16:32):
Maybe the feeling word that youpick becomes sort of all sorts
of related words about adventureor healthy or all different
things.
Maybe it almost becomes like aword map.
You're jotting down words thatjust make you feel so powerful
(16:52):
in that way.
Or maybe it's quotes that way,or maybe it's quotes, maybe you
have a favorite quote or twothat really make you feel good
and relate to how you want tolive the next five to 10 years.
That's how you're going to comeup with the pictures or the
words or the quotes that then goall together on this actual
(17:14):
physical vision board, posterboard, or maybe just on a
digital make a collage.
Put it on your well, put iteverywhere.
Put it on the inside of yourcloset door.
Put it on your bathroom mirror.
Put it as your phone background.
Put it as your computerbackground.
Put it on the side of yourrefrigerator where you are when
(17:36):
you drink your coffee in themorning.
Put it next to your bed so youcan look at it at night.
Put it everywhere and when youlook at it, make sure that you
get that feeling that you wantto get and make sure it's a
positive feeling.
None of this telling yourself,man, I'm not there yet, kind of
(17:56):
junk Positive feeling.
Look at it and purposefullyfeel good and excited about,
about having your life with allof those things in it.
And you can.
There's no rules.
You can do it however you wantto do it, especially because
this is for life, it's not forwork, it's not for business,
(18:18):
it's for anything you want it tobe.
You can look any way you wantit to look.
You're making yourselfsomething to look at that is
inspiring and it makes you feelgood.
And then, maybe after a while,you update it, maybe parts of it
.
You're like I thought I wantedto be like really into
pickleball, but I tried it a fewtimes and yeah, it's not for me
(18:39):
, so let me just cover that upwith something else.
That's fine, do it?
Make sure you still resonatewith it.
So, for my Patreon members, Ihave how-to guide to walk you
through exactly how to create avision board, the questions that
I want you to think about andinstructions on how to ask chat
(19:03):
gpt to help you make it.
Let's make this easier forourselves, shall, shall we?
I think so, and if you heardlast week's episode where Dee
Davidson told us to have chatGPT give us some meal ideas,
let's use chat GPT to make ourlives easier.
Why not?
I love that.
(19:23):
Use for it.
Come hang out with us inPatreon, at patreoncom.
Slash mind your midlife and youwill see the exact how-to steps
to create this for yourself, andI promise you it will be
straightforward and fun.
So here's your OMG moment toremember for today.
Don't let the question of whatdo I want to do in the next five
(19:50):
to 10 years become kind of aheavy chain hanging around your
neck.
Let it be a light and happy andexciting question and making
yourself something visual tolook at, about what your life
can look at if you add in thethings that are fun for you and
(20:11):
the things that you'reenthusiastic about.
That just helps you rememberthat all the time, that this is
not a hard weigh-me-down thing.
It's exciting to be able tomove forward and to figure these
things out.
You don't have to know exactlyhow you're going to get there.
You have to know kind of whereyou're going so that we're not
(20:33):
driving out of the driveway andjust aimlessly wandering around.
So I will see you on Patreonfor the exact how-to guide.
Come find me on social too andtell me when you try these tips
and how the vision board worksfor you.
I'm at Cheryl P Fisher on prettymuch every social.
Come find me.
I would love to hear from you.
(20:54):
Drop me a note and then makesure you've hit the follow
button, because next time I havea guest joining me to talk
about limiting beliefs.
So we might be ready to moveforward and yet something kind
of still keeps stopping us inour tracks and holding us back.
It's probably a limiting belief, and notice how this all goes
(21:15):
together.
So I'll see you then and in themeantime, remember, slow down,
notice what's going on in yourhead, what's going on around you
, and let's create somethingamazing.
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