August 11, 2025 • 11 mins
If you’re in your 40s, 50s, or 60s, you’ve probably had this moment: You should feel confident by now… but you find yourself staring at a decision, second-guessing every move, and wondering why it feels so hard to just choose.
In this episode, I’m sharing:
- Why so many midlife women struggle to make decisions (it’s not just you!)
- The surprising ways overthinking keeps us stuck
- A personal turning point that taught me the value of support
- How to stop waiting for “perfect clarity” before you act
- Why I created the Midlife Pivot Patreon—a space designed for steady encouragement, practical tools, and community
Whether you’re making a big life change or just want to stop second-guessing your daily choices, this conversation will help you take the next step—without having it all figured out first.
Links & Resources:
- Join the Midlife Momentum Collective ($9/month) or the Midlife Breakthrough Experience ($99/month) → patreon.com/mindyourmidlife
- Follow me on Instagram for midlife mindset boosts → @cherylpfischer
Text me to ask a question - I'll answer on the podcast!
🌸 Liked this episode? Share it with fellow Gen X women navigating hormone balance, an empty nest, and/or self-confidence!
🫶 Love this show? Leave a review to help more women over 50 find us.
💡Want support through menopause, mindset shifts, or midlife transitions?
- Join the collective by subscribing on Patreon or grab the bonus episodes!
- Book a free Mindset Coaching / Intro Call: cherylpfischer.com/coaching
Let’s talk midlife body positivity, self-talk, and redefining aging for women — without the “midlife crisis” narrative.
Connect with Cheryl, Midlife Coach: Instagram | LinkedIn | Website
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Cheryl Fischer (00:00):
Well, here we are, midlife you're 40 something
, you're 50 something, maybeyou're 60 something.
I feel like we're all probablyabout 35, 38 in our head
speaking for myself, anyway andwe often find ourselves sitting
and staring at a big decision inthis time of life, and yet
(00:24):
knowing we should be confidentby now.
So what keeps us stuck?
And has that happened to you?
Let's talk about it.
Welcome to Mind your Midlife,your go-to resource for
confidence and success.
One thought at a time.
Unlike most advice out there,we believe that simply telling
(00:45):
you to believe in yourself orchange your habits isn't enough
to wake up excited about life orfeel truly confident in your
body.
Each week, you'll gainactionable strategies and, oh my
goodness, powerful insights tostop feeling stuck and start
loving your midlife.
This is the Mind your Midlifepodcast.
(01:09):
I put a post on my Instagram theother day about the things that
I've just realized at thispoint are not going to change
about me, and as I'm sittinghere recording this, I'm looking
at the nail polish on my handsthat is kind of growing out and
I should have taken it off awhile ago and that was one of
the things.
Yeah, maybe I should have.
(01:31):
I'm not going to do it in atimely manner.
Never have and you know, atthis point it's just me we do
not care right and at the sametime, even though we have
confidence in some of thosethings that we might have
worried about when we wereyounger, we get stuck or we
second guess.
It's so common that when I talkto coaching clients, they say I
(01:56):
can't stop overthinking and Inever make a decision or I never
take action.
I feel all by myself when I'mtrying to figure this out.
Isn't there anybody else who'sever dealt with this?
Well, yeah, of course there is,but we don't see it right.
Or they question what's next?
(02:17):
What's my purpose?
Now I want to do something thatreally matters to me.
How do I figure that out?
These are such common strugglesand we have a hard time with
them.
I guess that's the definitionof struggle.
In fact, the other day I wassitting down with some very good
friends of mine and one of themwas let's call her Mary, was
(02:42):
telling us how she had recentlybought a car and she had done
all this research about the carand she wanted a certain size.
She wanted, you know, was itgoing to be electric, or was it
going to be hybrid or not or allof these different things.
She had done so much research.
She was really, really happywith her decision and she loved
(03:04):
the car.
And at the same time, when shewent to work at her business,
she was parking it way in theback of the parking lot Because
she thought I don't know if Iwant the people I work with to
see my car, because maybe theythink I spent too much money on
the car and I don't want peopleto think something about me.
(03:24):
And so then should I havegotten this car?
And let me just tell you, it'snot as if she bought the highest
top of the line you know, spenthundreds of thousands of
dollars on it.
It was just all this secondguessing and questioning.
And I was kind of helping herthrough that, saying you made
your best decision about a carthat is really good for you.
(03:48):
Don't put on yourself thoughtsthat were in other people's
minds or that, quite frankly,what we think other people think
we don't even know.
We're just guessing.
We're making it up In thisperiod of life when we feel so
confident about some things, weget so overwhelmed about other
(04:10):
things.
We're carrying a lot and Ithink our clarity, our ability
to just kind of move through allthe mess, gets a little.
It gets a little murky or wefeel like we're alone and that's
why you hear me and otherstalking about companionship and
maintaining friendships and allof that.
(04:31):
So my turning point was backwhen I was in my 40s and I had
an online business that I wasdoing alongside the full time
work that I was doing.
I think part of the time I wasteaching, part of the time I was
working for a small businessand I was doing this online
thing and I had really no ideawhat I was doing about making
(04:56):
goals and going bigger.
And looking five years out, Ihad no idea what I was doing and
I realized that I neededsomeone to help me.
I needed a coach and over thatfew year period, I tried a
business coach for a while and Ilearned a lot from her.
And then I tried a mindsetcoach and, good heavens, she
(05:17):
changed my life.
She knows who she is.
And then, since then, I've hadother types of coaches as well.
And here's the gap I see,because I am a life and mindset
coach and I do work with clients.
Interestingly, I end up workinga lot with women entrepreneurs
or women who are startingbusinesses, alongside something
(05:39):
else.
I think that's it's a skill,this thinking bigger skill, that
we're not often taught anywhereelse.
And as I work with those women,I'm also going to, you know,
get togethers with my friendsand I'm going to networking
events and I'm talking to somany other women who I see could
(05:59):
benefit from coaching.
But they don't see and maybethis is true for you they don't
see what they would go tocoaching for.
They see that this is kind ofhow life is at this point.
It's hard to manage these agingparents and kids getting older
and other work challenges andbody changes.
(06:22):
It's hard to manage all of this.
But why would I go to a coach?
What would I talk about?
It's kind of like when you'rethinking of maybe going to a
therapist Do I really need that?
Not obviously exactly the samething.
A therapist and a coach, thoseare two very different things.
But sometimes we think, well,we don't really have anything
that would be so important thatwe would need to hire a coach to
(06:43):
help us.
I mean, we don't really haveanything that would be so
important that we would need tohire a coach to help us.
I mean, we just it's normal,this normal stuff.
I think there's a gap there.
Women like you and like me arecraving tools to handle our
stress better, to be able tomake a flipping decision without
(07:03):
second guessing andoverthinking, to have a
community there to encourage us.
But where is that?
I mean you have to kind of makeyour own, and so that's what I
want to create.
I don't want it to becomplicated.
I don't want you to have tomake a big decision about
whether you need to go out andfind a coach.
(07:24):
I just want you to come hangwith us.
You know, the more I've workedwith midlife women, the more
I've realized we don't just needmore information.
We can get informationeverywhere.
You can get information from meand the podcast all the time.
We need spaces that help usfeel supported, clear, secure,
(07:44):
confident and making decisions.
That's why I created theMidlife Pivot Patreon.
It's a space where you can comefor encouragement, practical
tools to help you move forwardand, probably most importantly,
connection with women who get it.
We have two different levels,so you get to choose.
(08:05):
Tier one is the MidlifeMomentum Collective.
So you get to choose.
Tier one is the MidlifeMomentum Collective.
This is your space to getregular encouragement and tools
to keep your mindset movingforward.
Now everybody connected to thePatreon at all first of all gets
a Wednesday Wisdom Mindsetmessage every week powerful
boost to keep you on track.
(08:25):
And the collective gets accessto all my bonus podcast
interviews and content that Idon't share anywhere else.
Once a month, we'll meet on zoomfor a live workshop on a
midlife mindset topic, somethingthat's going to help you feel
more clear, more confident, morein control of your next steps,
(08:48):
and the recording will beavailable too.
You'll also get regular tappingpractices that you can do on
your own.
Right now already I havetapping for stress, tapping for
making decisions, and you'll getlittle behind the scenes, peeks
at what's happening in my lifeand with the podcast, so that
you get to feel part of thejourney.
(09:08):
If you want steadyencouragement, momentum
community, that's the perfectplace to start Now.
The second tier, which includeseverything I just said plus one
private coaching session withme every month, is the midlife
breakthrough experience, and forthis coaching session we'll
meet on Zoom just the two of usto talk about where you're
(09:32):
feeling stuck, what decisionsare weighing on you and maybe
how to break through the blocksthat are holding you back.
These sessions are completelytailored to you, your goals,
your challenges, your life rightnow, and you'll leave each call
with a little bit more clarity,a plan of what to do next and,
(09:52):
hopefully, more confidence totake those next steps.
If you want personal supportand guidance alongside the
community, this is wherebreakthroughs happen, and that's
really the vision for thisPatreon space.
It's not just a membership.
It's a place where you can beyourself, be supported and start
moving toward the life you want, one confident decision at a
(10:16):
time.
So here's your invitation Comejoin us.
The Midlife Pivot Patreon isopen right now.
Our August live Zoom workshop iscoming up soon.
I'd love for you to be a partof it.
If you've been feeling stuck,if you've been overthinking your
next steps, if you've beencraving a space where you can
grow, feel supported and finallytrust yourself again, this is
(10:41):
that space.
Tier one, the Midlife MomentumCollective, is just $9 a month.
It is perfect if you wantsteady encouragement, new tools
and a community that understandswhat you're going through.
Isn't that the key?
Tier two, the MidlifeBreakthrough Experience, is $99
a month and it's for you ifyou're ready for personal,
one-on-one coaching alongsidethat community.
(11:04):
You can find all the detailsand join today at patreoncom
slash mindyourmidlife or justscroll down to the show notes
and click easy peasy.
I'm so excited to see youinside the community and to walk
alongside you as you create thelife you want in midlife, one
(11:24):
confident decision at a time.
So thanks for listening andremember you don't have to have
it all figured out to take yournext step, you just have to
start.
I'll see you again soon.
Well, here we are, midlife you're 40 something
, you're 50 something, maybeyou're 60 something.
I feel like we're all probablyabout 35, 38 in our head
speaking for myself, anyway andwe often find ourselves sitting
and staring at a big decision inthis time of life, and yet
(00:24):
knowing we should be confidentby now.
So what keeps us stuck?
And has that happened to you?
Let's talk about it.
Welcome to Mind your Midlife,your go-to resource for
confidence and success.
One thought at a time.
Unlike most advice out there,we believe that simply telling
(00:45):
you to believe in yourself orchange your habits isn't enough
to wake up excited about life orfeel truly confident in your
body.
Each week, you'll gainactionable strategies and, oh my
goodness, powerful insights tostop feeling stuck and start
loving your midlife.
This is the Mind your Midlifepodcast.
(01:09):
I put a post on my Instagram theother day about the things that
I've just realized at thispoint are not going to change
about me, and as I'm sittinghere recording this, I'm looking
at the nail polish on my handsthat is kind of growing out and
I should have taken it off awhile ago and that was one of
the things.
Yeah, maybe I should have.
(01:31):
I'm not going to do it in atimely manner.
Never have and you know, atthis point it's just me we do
not care right and at the sametime, even though we have
confidence in some of thosethings that we might have
worried about when we wereyounger, we get stuck or we
second guess.
It's so common that when I talkto coaching clients, they say I
(01:56):
can't stop overthinking and Inever make a decision or I never
take action.
I feel all by myself when I'mtrying to figure this out.
Isn't there anybody else who'sever dealt with this?
Well, yeah, of course there is,but we don't see it right.
Or they question what's next?
(02:17):
What's my purpose?
Now I want to do something thatreally matters to me.
How do I figure that out?
These are such common strugglesand we have a hard time with
them.
I guess that's the definitionof struggle.
In fact, the other day I wassitting down with some very good
friends of mine and one of themwas let's call her Mary, was
(02:42):
telling us how she had recentlybought a car and she had done
all this research about the carand she wanted a certain size.
She wanted, you know, was itgoing to be electric, or was it
going to be hybrid or not or allof these different things.
She had done so much research.
She was really, really happywith her decision and she loved
(03:04):
the car.
And at the same time, when shewent to work at her business,
she was parking it way in theback of the parking lot Because
she thought I don't know if Iwant the people I work with to
see my car, because maybe theythink I spent too much money on
the car and I don't want peopleto think something about me.
(03:24):
And so then should I havegotten this car?
And let me just tell you, it'snot as if she bought the highest
top of the line you know, spenthundreds of thousands of
dollars on it.
It was just all this secondguessing and questioning.
And I was kind of helping herthrough that, saying you made
your best decision about a carthat is really good for you.
(03:48):
Don't put on yourself thoughtsthat were in other people's
minds or that, quite frankly,what we think other people think
we don't even know.
We're just guessing.
We're making it up In thisperiod of life when we feel so
confident about some things, weget so overwhelmed about other
(04:10):
things.
We're carrying a lot and Ithink our clarity, our ability
to just kind of move through allthe mess, gets a little.
It gets a little murky or wefeel like we're alone and that's
why you hear me and otherstalking about companionship and
maintaining friendships and allof that.
(04:31):
So my turning point was backwhen I was in my 40s and I had
an online business that I wasdoing alongside the full time
work that I was doing.
I think part of the time I wasteaching, part of the time I was
working for a small businessand I was doing this online
thing and I had really no ideawhat I was doing about making
(04:56):
goals and going bigger.
And looking five years out, Ihad no idea what I was doing and
I realized that I neededsomeone to help me.
I needed a coach and over thatfew year period, I tried a
business coach for a while and Ilearned a lot from her.
And then I tried a mindsetcoach and, good heavens, she
(05:17):
changed my life.
She knows who she is.
And then, since then, I've hadother types of coaches as well.
And here's the gap I see,because I am a life and mindset
coach and I do work with clients.
Interestingly, I end up workinga lot with women entrepreneurs
or women who are startingbusinesses, alongside something
(05:39):
else.
I think that's it's a skill,this thinking bigger skill, that
we're not often taught anywhereelse.
And as I work with those women,I'm also going to, you know,
get togethers with my friendsand I'm going to networking
events and I'm talking to somany other women who I see could
(05:59):
benefit from coaching.
But they don't see and maybethis is true for you they don't
see what they would go tocoaching for.
They see that this is kind ofhow life is at this point.
It's hard to manage these agingparents and kids getting older
and other work challenges andbody changes.
(06:22):
It's hard to manage all of this.
But why would I go to a coach?
What would I talk about?
It's kind of like when you'rethinking of maybe going to a
therapist Do I really need that?
Not obviously exactly the samething.
A therapist and a coach, thoseare two very different things.
But sometimes we think, well,we don't really have anything
that would be so important thatwe would need to hire a coach to
(06:43):
help us.
I mean, we don't really haveanything that would be so
important that we would need tohire a coach to help us.
I mean, we just it's normal,this normal stuff.
I think there's a gap there.
Women like you and like me arecraving tools to handle our
stress better, to be able tomake a flipping decision without
(07:03):
second guessing andoverthinking, to have a
community there to encourage us.
But where is that?
I mean you have to kind of makeyour own, and so that's what I
want to create.
I don't want it to becomplicated.
I don't want you to have tomake a big decision about
whether you need to go out andfind a coach.
(07:24):
I just want you to come hangwith us.
You know, the more I've workedwith midlife women, the more
I've realized we don't just needmore information.
We can get informationeverywhere.
You can get information from meand the podcast all the time.
We need spaces that help usfeel supported, clear, secure,
(07:44):
confident and making decisions.
That's why I created theMidlife Pivot Patreon.
It's a space where you can comefor encouragement, practical
tools to help you move forwardand, probably most importantly,
connection with women who get it.
We have two different levels,so you get to choose.
(08:05):
Tier one is the MidlifeMomentum Collective.
So you get to choose.
Tier one is the MidlifeMomentum Collective.
This is your space to getregular encouragement and tools
to keep your mindset movingforward.
Now everybody connected to thePatreon at all first of all gets
a Wednesday Wisdom Mindsetmessage every week powerful
boost to keep you on track.
(08:25):
And the collective gets accessto all my bonus podcast
interviews and content that Idon't share anywhere else.
Once a month, we'll meet on zoomfor a live workshop on a
midlife mindset topic, somethingthat's going to help you feel
more clear, more confident, morein control of your next steps,
(08:48):
and the recording will beavailable too.
You'll also get regular tappingpractices that you can do on
your own.
Right now already I havetapping for stress, tapping for
making decisions, and you'll getlittle behind the scenes, peeks
at what's happening in my lifeand with the podcast, so that
you get to feel part of thejourney.
(09:08):
If you want steadyencouragement, momentum
community, that's the perfectplace to start Now.
The second tier, which includeseverything I just said plus one
private coaching session withme every month, is the midlife
breakthrough experience, and forthis coaching session we'll
meet on Zoom just the two of usto talk about where you're
(09:32):
feeling stuck, what decisionsare weighing on you and maybe
how to break through the blocksthat are holding you back.
These sessions are completelytailored to you, your goals,
your challenges, your life rightnow, and you'll leave each call
with a little bit more clarity,a plan of what to do next and,
(09:52):
hopefully, more confidence totake those next steps.
If you want personal supportand guidance alongside the
community, this is wherebreakthroughs happen, and that's
really the vision for thisPatreon space.
It's not just a membership.
It's a place where you can beyourself, be supported and start
moving toward the life you want, one confident decision at a
(10:16):
time.
So here's your invitation Comejoin us.
The Midlife Pivot Patreon isopen right now.
Our August live Zoom workshop iscoming up soon.
I'd love for you to be a partof it.
If you've been feeling stuck,if you've been overthinking your
next steps, if you've beencraving a space where you can
grow, feel supported and finallytrust yourself again, this is
(10:41):
that space.
Tier one, the Midlife MomentumCollective, is just $9 a month.
It is perfect if you wantsteady encouragement, new tools
and a community that understandswhat you're going through.
Isn't that the key?
Tier two, the MidlifeBreakthrough Experience, is $99
a month and it's for you ifyou're ready for personal,
one-on-one coaching alongsidethat community.
(11:04):
You can find all the detailsand join today at patreoncom
slash mindyourmidlife or justscroll down to the show notes
and click easy peasy.
I'm so excited to see youinside the community and to walk
alongside you as you create thelife you want in midlife, one
(11:24):
confident decision at a time.
So thanks for listening andremember you don't have to have
it all figured out to take yournext step, you just have to
start.
I'll see you again soon.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.