Mind Your P's and Q's
Attorney Abbie Godles shares helpful information and practical tips on navigating Arizona divorce and custody, offering insight on out-of-court solutions and litigation. New episodes release odd Wednesdays at 10 am on all your favorite platforms. mymm.substack.com
Episodes
When your marriage is ending, your gut says “I want to win.” But here’s the truth: chasing victory in family court will cost you tens of thousands of dollars, years of your life, and your kids’ peace of mind—all to get roughly the same outcome you could’ve reached in mediation. In this episode, I’m breaking down why “fair” isn’t about being nice to your ex—it’s about saving your money, your sanity, and your future. Fair doesn’t fee...
When you’ve been wronged, you want vindication—you want someone to declare you were right and they were wrong. But being right in family law is expensive as hell: it costs you tens of thousands of dollars, years of your life, damage to your kids and your co-parenting relationship, and your ability to move forward. In this episode, I’m breaking down what “being right” behavior actually looks like (relitigating the past, fighting on ...
In the last episode, we talked about why you’re not a “we” anymore—today, we’re building on that with a hard truth: mediation requires equal participation from both people, and if one person won’t engage, mediation fails. I’m breaking down what equal participation actually means, the red flags that tell me someone’s not really committed (no-shows, incomplete homework, one person dragging a resistant partner along), and why I won’t ...
When couples come to me for mediation, I hear a lot of “we” language: “We want to do this amicably,” “We’ve already decided,” “We’re on the same page.” But here’s the hard truth—if you’re getting divorced, you’re not a “we” anymore. You’re two separate people with separate interests, and pretending otherwise doesn’t make mediation easier, it makes it impossible. In this episode, I’m breaking down why letting go of “we” is one of th...
Co-parenting with someone who was abusive to you requires different strategies than typical co-parenting. In this episode, I break down practical communication strategies, how to choose the right communication medium, what messages to respond to versus ignore, and how to set and enforce boundaries around timing and access. I also cover red flags that co-parenting may not be safe and what alternative options you have. You’ll leave w...
Technology-facilitated domestic violence is when abusers use technology to harass, stalk, monitor, intimidate, or control current or former intimate partners. In this episode, I break down what tech abuse actually looks like and walk you through practical safety steps you can take right now. I also explain your legal options here in Arizona. You’ll leave with clarity on how to recognize tech abuse, protect yourself, and understand ...
AI can help name abuse patterns, but it can also create digital risks. In this episode, I explain what’s safe to ask a chatbot, what to never upload, and how to use survivor‑focused tools like Aimee Says thoughtfully. I discuss how these tools can support reflection without replacing confidential help and leave you with clear, practical steps you can use today.
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Links Mentioned
Aimee Says - https://www.aimeesays.com/en/home
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Resourc...
Arizona’s 2025 Spousal Maintenance updates are here. In this episode, I break down the effective date, what changed to the guidelines, and the associated changes to the calculator. I also touch on what these shifts mean for planning under the revised framework.
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Links Mentioned
Spousal Maintenance Guidelines - https://www.azcourts.gov/familylaw/Child-Support-Family-Law-Information/Spousal-Maintenance-Guidelines
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Previous Episodes Me...
The Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC) has released a major update to its Model Standards for Family and Divorce Mediation, the first comprehensive overhaul since 2000. In this episode, I break down what stayed the same—like self‑determination, impartiality, confidentiality, and competence—and what’s new, including stronger screening, clearer guidance on domestic abuse and child maltreatment, technology and online...
This episode tackles day-to-day high-conflict patterns in divorce and custody and offers practical steps to reduce flare-ups and increase predictability for kids. It walks through Bill Eddy’s BIFF and EAR methods and clean “I” statements, with process-agnostic tips that work in both mediation and litigation. You’ll hear clear decision-making models including parallel parenting, plus calmer exchange structures and plug-and-play scri...
Navigating family law is challenging—especially when a child or parent has special needs. In this episode, I break down what parents and caregivers need to know about parenting plans, child support, and financial planning for special needs in Arizona. I cover important topics like IEPs, continued support beyond age 18, and local laws designed to protect vulnerable adults. Whether you're facing divorce, separation, or just want to b...
Presenting your side clearly and effectively can change everything—whether you’re sitting in a mediation or standing in front of a judge. This episode breaks down how to tailor your message to the setting, avoid common pitfalls, and stay focused on what actually moves the needle. If you’re a self-represented party or just want to communicate smarter, this is for you. Strategy isn’t about being slick—it’s about being clear.
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Newslet...
Difficult conversations are hard enough—but when legal issues, co-parenting, or emotional history are involved, they can feel impossible. In this episode, I share practical strategies for staying grounded, focused, and effective during high-stress discussions—whether you’re in a mediation session or just trying to keep things civil. Learn how to manage emotions, communicate clearly, and use tools like caucusing and note-taking to y...
Unlock the essentials of discovery in Arizona family law! In this episode, I break down the rules, tools, and strategies every self-represented party should know—whether you’re in court or seeking alternatives like mediation. Learn what to expect, how to stay organized, and how discovery can empower your legal journey.
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Links Mentioned
Rule 51. General Provisions Governing Discovery - https://govt.westlaw.com/azrules/Document/N59F25...
In this episode, I break down Rule 49—the key disclosure rule in family law cases—and explain what you need to share, when, and why it matters. Whether you're headed to court or working things out in mediation, understanding these requirements helps you stay prepared and avoid costly mistakes. I also share how I use these court standards as a roadmap in mediation to keep things moving smoothly. If you’re in a family case, this is a...
In this enlightening episode, we explore innovative legal support services designed to empower individuals navigating family law matters independently. I chat my new comprehensive suite of coaching services, which provide flexible, cost-effective solutions for those seeking professional guidance while maintaining control of their cases. Additionally, I share a powerful story leading to recent improvements to my mediation process, h...
Discover the hidden dynamics of "silent divorce"—where couples remain legally married but emotionally disconnected. This episode explores the subtle signs of emotional separation, from communication breakdown to parallel lives, and examines why couples often stay in these situations. Learn about the impact on family members and practical steps toward either resolution or conscious uncoupling.
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Newsletter: https://mymm.substack.com/
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In this episode, we explore the complex world of step-parent rights in Arizona, from the initial challenges of blending families to the legal options available for establishing parental rights. I break down the requirements for stepparent adoption and "in loco parentis" status, while offering practical advice for navigating these important family relationships. Whether you're a step-parent seeking legal rights or just beginning you...
We’re wrapping up our prenup mini-series today! Tune in to learn all about the differences to consider when seeking a prenup for a second or subsequent marriage.
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Newsletter: https://mymm.substack.com/
Website: www.modernlegalsolutions.com
Instagram: @modernlegalsolutions
Facebook: www.facebook.com/mindyourmannersmediation/
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/mind-your-manners-mediation
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Credits
Intro and Outro Music: “Motivational Day” ...
As we continue our prenup mini-series, we’re getting into LGBTQ+-specific considerations. Beyond the basics that apply to all prenuptial agreements, learn how they can provide opportunities for LGBTQ+ couples to overcome challenges unique to this community.
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Newsletter: https://mymm.substack.com/
Website: www.modernlegalsolutions.com
Instagram: @modernlegalsolutions
Facebook: www.facebook.com/mindyourmannersmediation/
LinkedIn: www.lin...
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