March 19, 2025 • 47 mins
I would love to hear from you!
Allie’s difficult yet inspiring journey navigating her diagnosis of Fanconi Anemia (FA) illuminates the power of resilience. Reflecting on self-love and acceptance, she shares how her experience shaped her life and led her to become a doula.
• A deeper understanding of Fanconi anemia and its implications
• The transformative power of self-love and acceptance
• Writing as a tool for reflection and discovery
• The importance of community support in healing
• Allie's journey to becoming a birth and death doula
• Building a business amid challenges and uncertainties
• Insights into finding joy despite adversity
• The balance between fear and living fully
• Key takeaways on resilience and embracing one's journey
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Hi everyone, I'm Nate Shearer and this is Mindforce,
the podcast for love, life andlearning.
We'll be talking about herpersonal story of the rare
disease Benconi anemia, thegrowth of her soul and
overcoming adversity andbuilding her own business out of
it.
So we're going to start withthe easy thing, the warm-up.
(00:54):
The who, what, why and where.
Who are you?
What do you do, why are youhere and where in the world are
you?
That's a lot of questions.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Thanks, Nate.
You here and where in the worldare you?
That's a lot of questions.
Thanks, Nate.
My name is Allie and I am abirth doula and a death doula
for my business, Soul CompanionServices.
I live in Des Moines, Iowa, andI'm here today to kind of share
a little bit more about myselfand my business and what really
(01:26):
led me here through theadversities of my rare disease,
Fanconi anemia.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Perfect.
Okay, we'll start with a couplefun questions.
Get us going, get the juicesflowing.
What's one unexpected lesson inyour journey with Fanconi
anemia has taught you about life?
Speaker 2 (01:48):
An unexpected lesson would be definitely self-love, I
think when you're going throughsomething almost
incomprehensible for at the timeof my diagnosis a
four-year-old's mind A lot ofthings just shift and perceive
and look and operate differentlythan other kids your own age.
(02:13):
So it required a lot ofself-love and not just a
one-time application of that.
It's been a repetitive washover of self-love for decades of
my life.
So that is a very unexpectedlesson that self-love is very
important and no matter if youhave a lifelong disease or not.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Absolutely.
That's a big concept for alittle kid.
I remember I got my tonsils outwhen I was three, I think three
or four.
You're going in, you're gettingsurgery and you have no idea
what's really going on.
I don't even remember otherthan the mini, mini popsicles I
ate.
That's about all I rememberbecause that's all I could do.
But yeah, it's a big conceptfor some of these things.
You're going to the hospital assuch a small kid.
(03:00):
So for anyone that's notfamiliar, how can you explain
Fanconi anemia pretty quickly?
Speaker 2 (03:09):
It's a rare genetic disorder, so both parents have
to carry the tree in order togive it to their child.
One out of four of their kidscan have Fanconi anemia.
One out of four can carry thegene.
One can carry a partial of thegene and one will not carry the
gene at all.
So, yeah, it's just basicallyusing, at the time, bone marrow
(03:33):
transplants, chemo, radiation tobasically have the Fanconi
anemia be suppressed, becausewhat ultimately happens is your
white blood cells start to dropsignificantly and so your body
doesn't know how to heal.
Anything Like I would easilyget a bruise, if you just like
(03:53):
tapped me on the shoulder,bloody noses anemia.
So I think that's the mostsimple way in explaining it.
You kind of treat it likecancer, but you will always have
fibromyalgia anemia.
So I had my bone marrowtransplant, I had two of them, I
had full body radiation andchemotherapy and my blood counts
(04:14):
went back up to normal, but Iwill always have fibromyalgia
anemia.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Oh, okay, so kind of laying dormant, but always there
.
Okay, that makes sense.
Easy explanation of that, ofsomething that's very
complicated and, like I alwayslike to say, practicing medicine
.
There's just so many differentthings out there.
People are just trying to keeptheir eye on it and things like
that.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
I would say the chapter that I'm currently in,
right now, is owning my power.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
That's a good one.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
I feel like those are the two biggest things that
humans struggle to equal out.
You know, sometimes if you'reway too emotional, you're not
allowing certain logic to enteryour mind to help create that
equilibrium.
And I think the same thing fora logical person.
I think it's great to be alogical person, but if you're
not harnessing and aware of yourown emotions and orchestrating
(05:10):
them at appropriate times oraddressing them at appropriate
times, I think it can make fordifficult growth, just as
equally as an emotional andunbalanced person.
And then safe space is moreabout just creating a safe space
within yourself to mentally gothrough adversities in life.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Good stuff.
I like the balance between thetwo because I think there's, you
know, a lot of times in life.
You need balance.
I think we want to do like onething or another, but it doesn't
seem like that works very muchin life.
I think you need the creativeto match the logic, to match
whatever I know like.
When I started the show, I wasreally nervous about working on
(05:51):
creativeness because I don'tfeel like that's my strong suit.
My wife loves to craft and makestuff for the kids' teachers and
shirts and hats, and you knowshe's made everything.
It feels like cups and cricketstuff all the time and I'm like,
oh, that's not really my thing.
I do spreadsheets and whatnot,but it's really interesting
because I really loved thecreative aspect of sitting down,
thinking of the guests comingup with questions and really
(06:14):
using the more creative side andhaving fun with how I edit and
things like that.
And so it's interesting becauseI was like, oh, that's going to
be the nerve wracking part andit's actually, I think, the most
fun because I feel like I usemore of the logical brain at
work and then I get to switchover and then use the other one
when the other brain is tiredand I get to switch off a little
bit, so sometimes you don'tknow what's going to be more fun
(06:36):
for you.
And the last part for yourtheme is building this business.
So what's the most surprisingthing you've learned while
building this business?
Speaker 2 (06:46):
I am so much more capable than I thought I was.
I think I've always saw myselfin a leadership role, and I did
try to kind of push my way intoa leadership role, but that's
something I learned about myselfis I became humbled very
quickly, and I think that's soimportant.
Now, though, like I pray I'm afaith believer.
(07:09):
I pray to God every day all thetime when I'm moving through
this business journey thatplease keep me humble.
Like you know, it really keepsyou grounded and it keeps you
connected with your community.
It doesn't remove you at allfrom the mission and the journey
.
You know.
It helps you keep the site inmind, and so I learned that I'm
(07:33):
much more capable than I thoughtI was, and I love being humble.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
That's good stuff.
You said you were humbled realquick.
Can you give us a quick rundownof something that maybe didn't
go very smooth in the beginning?
Speaker 2 (07:48):
I am almost 34 years old and I have had about 30 jobs
.
I don't know if that kind ofsums it up.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Yeah, that's quite a few.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
Yeah, I just it's very easy for me to see the
problem and know very quicklyhow to fix it and what we need
to do to get there, and I don'thave patience, and so maybe
there's where that humble camein.
I just got into a job and Icould see where they were
slacking and I would make adviceand be like, hey, if we just
(08:21):
did this, we would be cuttinglike 10 years of waste out of
this whole business, and I youknow it's very obvious that
nobody in management or higherlevels wants to hear that from
someone who's just starting outin a job, and so I think that's
what humbled me is like I can'tkeep these jobs.
Why can't I keep these jobs?
And it's just because I Iwanted to lead and direct and
(08:45):
just kind of get there withoutwasting all this time.
I don't like to waste time, butwith this job and being humble,
I'm learning so much aboutdivine timing and flow and
letting go and trusting, and myfaith has grown too.
I've had a lot moreconversations with God than I
(09:06):
used to.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
So, yeah, that's good stuff.
Yeah, across the board, a lotof good stuff there.
So, yeah, I think that we'realways, you know, more capable
than we believe.
We always have the inner persontelling us what's going on and,
for some reason, the innermonologue is always negative.
I wish our inner monologue wasa little bit more positive, and
that's something I think that wecould all probably work on a
little bit.
(09:27):
Before we jump into the meat ofthe three themes, I wanted to
see if you had a question for me, so they're not all directed at
you yeah, um, so I love thatyou um still currently in the
air force, correct?
Speaker 2 (09:42):
em yeah, active duty yeah, my little brother went
through the Air Force and heworks at SpaceX now, so I was
very curious what made you wantto go into the Air Force?
I did listen to your pilotvideo on your YouTube channel,
so I did learn a little bitabout you, and what I noticed
(10:02):
too in some of your otherpodcasts is that you don't get
to share much of your life whenyou're interviewing the other
person.
But I loved listening to youand your story, and I even
listened to the podcast whereyou interviewed your mother
about grief, and that wasreleased the day before my
birthday too.
So I just absolutely lovelistening to you and your story.
(10:23):
I think you're an amazingperson.
So what made you go into theAir Force was like one out of
the only like 100 questions thatI decided to go with.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Okay, yeah, it's kind of funny.
It's ironic how you know theLord has plans for you and you
don't know what they are,because my dad growing up was in
the Air Force and I swore I'dnever join.
I saw him like polish his bootsand put on his uniform and you
know, every morning I'm like I'mnot doing that.
That's not for me.
I don't want to work out, Idon't want to have rules and you
(10:55):
know all those silly thingswhen you're a kid and you think
you understand what's going onin the world and you completely
don't.
So I did that for the longesttime, like saying I wouldn't.
I went off to University ofNorth Dakota to become a pilot
because I wanted to be a pilotmy whole entire life.
My mom has this book where itshows like pictures She'd slide
in that little wallet we used toget in school and it would ask
like who your three friends were, what's your favorite food and
(11:17):
what you want to be.
Every single year I was wantedto be a pilot, except for one.
I said dog catcher.
I don't.
I don't know what the dogcatcher thing was it must've
been a cart or something butevery year I wanted to be a
pilot.
So I tried to do that.
I unfortunately kind of ran outof money, made some poor
choices at school, you know,majored in the wrong thing,
(11:37):
spent a little too much timepartying and things like that,
so I ended up running out ofmoney.
And then I kind of went througha few different things and sold
cars at Honda for a month.
I did adult swim lessons.
I was the webmaster for theschool, like cleaning up photos
and doing some stuff basic HTMLstuff not nearly a good
programmer, but some basic stuffand I just didn't feel like I
(11:58):
was going anywhere and so I waslike what do I do?
I need to do something.
And so I walked in and tried totalk to a recruiter and
recruiter was like, well, wecan't guarantee any jobs.
It's like, no, I want aspecific job, I want air traffic
control.
So I wanted the other side ofthe radio, so I was already
flying.
I was like I want to stay in theaviation world, so let me cross
over and do that.
And so the first one told me noand I was like I don't really
(12:19):
don't really like that answer.
So I found another one that was45 minute drive or something
from from Portland, so down inOregon city I think it was, and
so I had to go down there, foundthe recruiter.
He gave me the guaranteed, solet me sign for that.
So I came in guaranteed airtraffic did that for five years.
Sleep schedule and some otherthings caused some problems for
me so I was only sleeping likefour hours a night.
(12:39):
It got pretty rough because weused to do two days, two mid or
two days, two swings, two.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Pretty rough because we used to do two days, two
swings, two mid and then two off.
So the schedule is a littlerough.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
So I transitioned out of that into contracting, which
is another ironic thing,because my dad was contracting
and I used to poke fun at himthat he just sat at a desk and
just did paperwork.
Because when you're a kid whenyou tell your friends your dad's
in the Air Force, everyone says, oh, does he fly jets?
I'm like no, he signs paperwork.
It's not quite as cool and so Iused to poke fun a little bit.
(13:12):
And then, funny, I go up andsign for you know a few new jobs
to cross over and I get theexact one.
So I call him and, of course,like he's laughing on the other
side of the phone.
So the Lord is pretty hilariousin his irony and bringing it
all the way back.
So I did that for three years,enjoyed it.
I wanted a little bit more of achallenge, so I crossed over
from enlisted to officer andbecame a medical service corps
(13:33):
officer.
So now I'm run the backside ofthe clinic.
I love helping people, takingcare of people.
I unfortunately pass out atblood and needles so I don't
work the front of the housebecause I would hit the deck.
So I do insurance and pharmacyand logistics and readiness and
all these things that areadministrative, so healthcare
(13:53):
administrator or healthcareadmin, anything that's not
touching a patient.
Pretty much I do in thebackside of the house, and so
that's my long winded thing onhow I ended up here and where
I'm at.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
Thank you so much for sharing.
I think it's very important tohear the interviewers synopsis
life focus, because you knowit's one thing to hear a little
bit about me, but I just reallythink that was valued.
So thank you.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Yeah, absolutely.
I just find it funny.
There's so many people likechief master, sergeant of the
air force and all thesedifferent people you'll hear
like oh, you know, why'd youjoin or how long were you going
to stay?
And time and time again you'llhear people I'm doing for and
leaving, and then they're therelike 26 years later.
And so I think once you get inand you find that sense of
(14:41):
purpose and I know there's likesome things that aren't great
and so you'll see complaints andwhatnot, but a lot of them, I
feel like, are the same.
On the outside they're like ah,I don't want rules or a boss or
this, or I'm like pretty mucheverywhere you got a boss and
some form of dress code and youhave some form of rule Like you
can't walk into McDonald's andjust go wild either, so so it's
a little weird to me.
I think there's a lot of goodbenefits, a lot of discounts.
(15:03):
You know we get VA like homeloans and lots of different
things.
I think the Air Force has takenreally good care of me.
So it's been good 16 years.
We'll have to see how long westay the family's kind of on an
agreement.
We kind of see how the nextassignment's coming up.
If everyone's happy andeveryone's still feeling good,
we take the next one.
We'll just kind of take eachassignment so out here in the UK
(15:29):
for three years right now, ortwo and a half more, and we'll
see where we go from there.
So we were in Florida a yearbefore that and Japan before
that, so it's been a wild road.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
I like that you use the family unit to all the side,
like is it working for all ofus, like that's so important
when you're in the military.
That's very healthy.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Absolutely Okay.
Well, we'll jump into the threemain themes, First one being
personal story of the raredisease.
So can you share a moment?
You first learned about yourdiagnosis so you said you were
four and how did that kind ofshape things?
Speaker 2 (15:54):
I mean, you're little , but so I had just started
dance class at three years oldand my older brother, who is
three years older than me he'sin the Marines he had pneumonia
at six years old Yep, six orseven and my mom was a nurse and
I was coughing a little bit andshe's really good friends with
the doctor and she's, just likeI, always been coughing.
(16:17):
Will you just take her down fora blood draw, like just to make
sure she doesn't have likebronchitis or something, because
her son's already sick?
And he comes back and said goodnews is she does have
bronchitis, but her blood countsare super low.
She needs to be at theuniversity right now.
And so that's kind of how welearned about what was going on
and how it shaped me is I wentfrom kind of you know, careless
(16:41):
and childlike and innocent justin the moment, to very cynical,
and I remained cynical untiljust about two years ago, Mm-hmm
.
So for decades I was very angryand hurt and upset because it's
lifelong, it doesn't go away andit's not like breast cancer.
(17:05):
This is how we treat it and youknow, it's very unique to the
person with FA because at thetime of my diagnosis they didn't
know that there were differentkinds of genes of it.
There's like 23 different kindof honey anemia genes now, and
so everything was trial anderror and there were a lot of
(17:27):
complications with that, likepeople nowadays spend about one,
maybe three months in thehospital to get their treatment,
where I was in for six months.
So it definitely shaped me in acynical way that I felt like
this is the train I'm on and I'mnever gonna get to get off of
(17:47):
it, even in my adult life.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
So you said that you had.
You know you're cynical andstruggled with that for many
years, and so one thing I'mreally interested in on the show
is that transition point.
So you're doing it for all thatall that time and it's kind of
built up what was the aha Likewhat?
Because you could have keptgoing Right.
(18:11):
So how did you, you know, after30 some odd years, make that
transition?
Speaker 2 (18:16):
A simple answer.
Writing started it for me, butit wasn't for me.
It was not uh-huh, um.
For me it was just being morecurious about where the heck do
I find joy and like can I justsqueeze like the smallest amount
(18:37):
of that out?
Because I think for a long timeI was just looking for that,
that one and done.
You know just, I'm happy.
Now Everything's good, likeI'll never have to be cynical,
ever again.
But when I got into writing Idiscovered so many things about
myself and over time thatsnowballed into.
(18:57):
This is the direction I cankeep going in, now that I know
all of these things and I knowwhat I need to be paying more
attention to.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
I think that's a good reminder of there's like ups
and downs.
I think that we want everythingto be good or everything to be
bad.
You know all these differentthings.
There's going to be ups anddowns good days, bad days and so
I think we always got toremember that this is going to
change, no matter what it is.
If it's like the peak of allhigh, you know it's going to
change, and if it's the lowestof lows, it's going to change
(19:27):
too.
So not that it makes it easier,necessarily.
It's still difficult, but atleast knowing that things are
going to change because they'reconstantly changing.
The next question I had for youwhat are some of the biggest
challenges you face with FA andhow have you overcome them?
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Acceptance, and not just acceptance but embracing
whatever.
It is that I need to acceptbecause you can accept something
like yep, this is my life,whatever.
But if you're to accept becauseyou can accept something like
yep, this is my life, whatever.
But if you're embracing it,you're welcoming it and you're
owning it, you're addressing it,you're loving it and and you're
moving on from the things thatyou should be moving on from.
(20:08):
So I needed to accept that thisis my life and these.
This is things that I'm goingto have to always face, but I
also need to embrace all ofthese things here and now and in
the future, so that I couldalways stay grounded and in
self-love and joyous, no matterwhat is happening, good or bad.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
It makes sense.
Do you have any daily things?
Is it a restricted by diet, ordo you have anything that kind
of shows up, or is it just atcertain times it shows up?
The acceptance and theembracing part no, I mean like,
are you restricted in diet?
You said that it's like alwaysdormant and always there.
Are there things like you stayaway from, or the impact you
(20:52):
every day, or is it just kind oflooming in the background?
Speaker 2 (20:56):
So, that is, I think, what kept me cynical for so
long, because it's everything.
I am five to eight hundredtimes more likely to get any
type of cancer than the averageperson.
So skin cancer, lung cancer,throat cancer, breast cancer,
ovarian cancer, colon cancer,you name it I'm five to 800
(21:17):
times more likely to get it thanthe average person.
So every single day, everysingle moment, every little tiny
change is like what's that?
And so if you live in thatmindset like what's that, what's
that, what's that, you becomeparanoid, you're going to freak
out with every little thing.
So I think people with FAthey're always trying to find a
(21:39):
balance of where can I remainsane with everything that I have
to think about and go throughevery day?
And so if you just want to kindof like live as normal as
possible, go to your you knowsix month appointments, your
annual appointments.
You get your checkups, you makesure everything is going okay.
(22:01):
But in between that you reallydo need to just enjoy life as
much as possible.
And I think if you'rerestricting yourself and that
brings unhappiness, then youknow you're not living life
fully.
And no, I don't agree withunhealthy habits or decision
makings, but those people that Iknow who have walked down that
(22:22):
path.
They passed away doing whatthey enjoy doing.
So I think that's another partof it is live fully in your
happiness, whatever that is, butdo be mindful that you're
either harming yourself orharming others in the process.
So find your balance.
What makes you happy?
What at the end of the day,when you're either harming
yourself or harming others inthe process?
So find your balance.
What makes you happy?
What, at the end of the day,when you're on your deathbed,
(22:43):
can you say I'm proud and happyof the way I live my life, no
matter what that looked like?
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Yeah, that makes sense.
I feel like I've had a fewdifferent episodes where that's
come up is life's too short.
I think losing my dad is reallylike reinforce that.
But I find it funny because,back to the balance thing, I
think that everything is aboutbalance.
Like I don't think you shouldgo YOLO and throw all your money
out the window and go crazy,like you still have to, you know
(23:11):
, have some form of balance.
But at the same time, if it'sdown to a decision that doesn't
really matter too much andyou're like we better not we
don't have time or we don't havethis, like no, just just do it.
I mean, you don't know ifyou're going to have another day
, or we never really know ifwe're going to get hit by a bus
or whatnot.
And that's one thing that'sjust really crazy to me.
I was going to touch on itearlier, but I kind of got
(23:34):
living your life, you're three,four and all of a sudden you
have this diagnosis and likemedical conditions are just kind
of wild to me because you don'treally know what's going on.
He was living his life, he's 50.
You know, things are going fine.
He rides his bike, he's active,he's healthy, and then he, you
know, has a cough.
A cough goes for a week, twoweeks I think, it was like close
to a month, and then he goes in, his lymph nodes are swolled up
(23:56):
and then he's got stage fourcancer and it's a mastetized
right word to the differentparts of his body, brain and
whatnot off his lungs.
It's like how could you be like, walking around relatively
healthy I mean, a cough isn'treally that big of a deal in the
grand scheme of things, beingable to still go to work and do
(24:16):
everything.
So I feel like at any giventime, you know you could
potentially get diagnosed orhave something.
So there should be some level ofof enjoy yourself, enjoy your
life.
Don't go crazy and like makepoor financial decisions or
something like that, but leantowards, you know, enjoying your
life.
You don't know, we never doLike.
(24:38):
I wish we would have taken onelast trip, had some fun, went to
the coliseum, leaning tower ofpisa, you know, saw gladiators
fight or something.
For some reason I'm onlymentioning things in europe.
But yeah, just live your liferight.
The last question in thissection is how is your
experience with this raredisease inspired or shaped the
way you connect with others?
Are you in FA support groups?
Speaker 2 (24:59):
Yeah, so there is something called the FA adult
group, and that's verysignificant because when I was
diagnosed, there was nolongevity there.
They weren't really finding outthat people had FA until they
were 13, 14, 20s, and so by thentheir white blood counts were
(25:24):
so low that their body wasn'teven strong enough to take on
the chemo, radiation and bonemarrow transplants.
So when I was diagnosed, youknow my mom's asking all these
questions and they don't evenhave the data or research at
that point.
It's like we don't know howlong she'll live or if she will
live.
And now they are getting peopleto live into adulthood.
(25:46):
We're still not living verylong.
We're still dying around theage of 50 or 60.
So there's that.
You know.
Additional, not only do you haveFA, not only are you 500, 800
times more likely to have anytype of cancer.
You might not stay 65 years old.
So it's just like I think,because of all those layers, you
(26:06):
need to be able to take a stepback and, like you're saying,
enjoy the moment, but don't gotoo far.
But that is ultimately whatshifts a lot of things in your
mind when it comes to where do Ifall in line?
How do I stay groundedcommunity and I absolutely love
(26:28):
community, and so it wasn'tuntil I was in my mid-20s that I
got on Facebook after nothaving Facebook for six years,
and I just came across a FAadult group and I said what's
that?
So I started talking andgetting to know people and I
found out that they hold ayearly retreat for FA adults
(26:53):
where we all get to be flown into a location each year and we
have this meeting where FAadults come together with their
families too, if they want tobring their families, and they
have different events going onfor us to learn about what
they're doing in the FA medicalresearch field.
So they have the FA adultmeeting and at the same time
(27:15):
they have a scientific symposiumwhere all the doctors,
researchers and scientists cometogether.
So it's usually held in a hoteland all the FA adults are in
this ballroom over here doing FAadult stuff and then in the
ballroom next door there's thescientific symposium going on
and you can jump back and forth.
You don't have to attend any ofthe groups.
(27:38):
So, like it's amazing becauseyou get to talk to other adults
who know exactly how you feel,because for so long and to a
point is still kind of is a veryrare disease and there was only
600 people diagnosed when I wasdiagnosed and 19 survivors like
it was not a good outcome.
(27:59):
So for a very long time, whileI'm in words, that I'm cynical
and I'm angry with this thingthat I think I'm only enduring,
it's not until my adult lifethat I'm like, oh my God,
there's this whole group and Icould be a part of it, and so
with every adult meeting there'ssomewhere between 30 and 60 of
us, which is still a very smallnumber.
(28:20):
Like if you think let's geteveryone who's had breast cancer
in a room, that number is goingto.
You know you're not going tohave room.
But when there's 50 to 60 adultswho say I have FA, I struggle.
And these are the ways Istruggle and I like how you
mentioned your dad beingdiagnosed in a series, because
that is another aspect that wedeal with with FA.
(28:40):
We're not all diagnosed atbirth or when we're young.
Sometimes we live a long lifeand we get married and we have
kids and then all of a sudden wehave, you know, this thing to
battle with and we're draggingour families through it too.
So that's a really long windedanswer to your where's your
sense of community question, butthat's how I connect with
(29:01):
community now as an adult.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
Yeah, that's awesome.
I think that's perfect becauseit's interesting to me with the
Internet.
The Internet is a very cruelplace, but there is some good
that comes out of it and so it'salways good to see when that
comes through.
I started a Facebook page for,like my career field.
I was like why don't we haveone?
People can ask questions Thingsare struggling with?
(29:25):
And I was like, oh, it'll havelike 10 people.
Then it grows and grows and nowit's like at 1.1 to 1,100
people in it now and it's justso awesome to see on there.
Someone just asks a simplequestion they're struggling with
, you know at work, and thenlike five people jump in like
this is how we do it, and thenthey send off the spreadsheet,
the PowerPoint slides orwhatever it is and it's solved
(29:45):
and over with.
I'm like it's so awesome whenit comes together.
It's good because there's somuch like being mean to each
other and bullying and thingslike that.
Like social media can be goodand do some awesome things.
It just sometimes there's somesome negative out there.
The next part we have is soulgrowth.
Question is what does soulgrowth mean to you and how has
it become a central part of yourlife?
Speaker 2 (30:09):
That's a very big question.
I absolutely love the questionsyou ask because the questions
you ask, because the questionsyou ask are what I do on a daily
basis.
So what soul growth means to meis trying and failing and
failing, over and over and overand forever and ever, until you
(30:29):
die.
You get one magnificent soultrapped human experience on this
planet, you know.
So I think we should notoverthink it.
We need to learn from ourselvesand we need to move on from
that.
And so soul growth is that, ina sense, and always inwardly,
asking yourself these questionsand always differentiating from
(30:52):
ego to consciousness.
You know, consciousness, you'rejust absorbing and discarding
what needs to be discarded.
But your ego is that one who istrying to break down everything
and be a critic, in a way, andsay like you know, why do you
think that way and why are youdoing that?
And for a long time I didn'tquestion any of that, I just
(31:14):
absorbed and I didn't discard orquestion anything.
And so soul growth is coming toa place where you stop and you
say why am I thinking that way?
Where did I learn that?
Who did I learn that through?
Why did I take that on as mine?
So that's that soul growth isreally questioning those things
that come in and deciding foryourself what it means to you
(31:38):
and how you want to place thatwithin.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
Awesome, so I love stories.
I think that's the best way welearn passing information down,
so can you share a pivotalmoment or experience that
significantly contributed toyour personal or spiritual
growth growth, launching mybusiness.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
I had done a lot of journaling, self-reflecting and
meditation for the last 10 years.
I think the biggestbreakthrough was a 10-day silent
retreat that really shifted alot of things in my mind.
To not be able to talk, write,speak, make eye contact with
anybody in the retreat, like youalways had to look down at the
ground, and I meditated for 11hours a day.
(32:25):
And that silence and thatinwardness allowed me to have a
very big pivotal moment as well,where I decided like, okay, you
know, I've done a lot ofjournaling, a lot of reflection,
a lot of inward work, and thissilent retreat was like the
(32:45):
finale for me.
That really opened that gatewayfor me to saying I want to keep
walking in this direction.
And launching my business wasthat pivotal moment where I'm
like, okay, this is what it'ssupposed to look like and feel
like, and this is, this is now Iknow how it's supposed to
unfold within myself, not justin a real, like logical, basic,
(33:09):
business-like way, like I knowhow it's supposed to, where it's
supposed to stem from.
And so it's a lot of releasingfear, you know, because fear
doesn't allow you to live fully.
You have to embrace thepotentials of failure.
And so when I was able to dothat, I thought, okay, like I'm
(33:30):
going to launch this businessbut I could definitely flop in.
You know they say it takesthree years to take a business
into success.
So I, you know I had to embracemy business could fail within
that three year span.
And once I accepted andembraced that, I was able to
step fully into my authenticpower of servicing others
(33:50):
through being a birth doula anda death doula crazy when it all
comes together and it just makessense.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
I remember, like I was mentioning, I'm on my third
job in the Air Force and youknow, the first one's okay but
sleeps all over the place.
Second one's like fine, but Idon't feel challenged.
And then I get the third onewhere I get to help people and,
and you know, I just rememberthe first day I shadowed, I got
to go over and see what they didand it's just crazy how
everything lines up, becausethat day I was like this is the
thing I need to do, like therewasn't.
(34:21):
There was just pure clarity.
You have to apply for it.
I go in.
Normally you get two shots, butthe way it was set up for me,
how much time I had in service,I only had one and only shot and
I was like this needs to happen.
And you know, blessed enough,it all worked out.
But it's just so great where,like this is a thing, you're
happy to get up out of bed andtake care of people and you
(34:42):
don't know what you're missinguntil you're there, cause the
other two jobs they were likefine, I went to work and things
were good you know, there wasnothing wrong with either of
them, cause we'd be like, oh'sso good.
But I wanted to ask you went tothe retreat and that was your
pivotal moment.
How do you integrate some ofthose lessons from that pivotal
(35:03):
moment into your daily life?
Speaker 2 (35:08):
I don't leave my inner world.
I'm human and I'm getting upand I'm going to work and I'm
doing things, and I'm going tothe grocery store and I'm
getting gas, but I am in hereall the time.
I can't leave that placebecause if I leave that place
(35:28):
then I'm not authentic, I'm nottrue to myself.
Leave that place, then I'm notauthentic, I'm not true to
myself, and I began to lose thatgrounded place.
It's like a relationship to me.
If I start to astray from myselfon the outside, then you know,
I don't know what it is that I'mthinking.
I don't know what it is thatI'm feeling so like, even like
(35:51):
getting gas, like, oh, it's cold, okay, I'm feeling so like,
even like getting gas, like, oh,it's cold, okay, I'm feeling
the cold air.
You know how does that make mefeel?
It makes me feel good.
Why does it make me feel good?
Because I'm so blessed to beable to drive a car and stand
and feel the weather and I'm notsick in a hospital.
It's me a moment to be withmyself but like remind myself of
who I want to be in everysingle moment.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
Yeah, that's amazing.
I saw something the other daywhere just perspective is so
important.
They were talking about theperson I think it was a mom
taking care of her kids and shewas like I switched how I looked
at things.
I was saying I have to get youcereal, I have to clean the
house, I have to pick up toys, Ihave to.
And then she switched it to Iget to.
(36:37):
Like some people have wantedkids and can't have kids and
have, you know, had babies thatdidn't make it and, you know,
lost kids along the way.
They would love to pick up thetoys, love to make that extra
meal, love to make the grilledcheese and the chicken nuggets
and pick up the ketchup.
That's all over the place, socrazy that you know just one
word, I mean.
And we say, oh, just one word.
(36:58):
But I'm a strong believer thatwords are powerful.
Get to and have to are wildlydifferent.
Like I get to do that, I get todeliver and take care of you,
and so sometimes you are tired,you're stressed, you're drained
and they're asking you thehundredth question for the day.
But try to just reframe it.
Like you, you're in the cold.
I like this.
This is good.
Let me answer that question.
(37:19):
Let me take care of the kidsand keep pushing knowledge out
to them, but just perspective isso powerful.
You just pause for a second Now.
Not that I do it all the time,definitely nowhere near perfect,
but yeah, just try to switch alittle bit.
That is some good stuff.
So we'll move into theovercoming adversity and
building the business.
So I'm curious what was theturning point for building the
(37:42):
business?
Were you like me and justdidn't feel like you were going,
or what was the thing that waslike I got to get this going?
Speaker 2 (37:50):
Very good question got to get this going.
Very good question, I would say.
I felt like I ran out of ideas.
I had over 30 jobs and Iapplied myself the best that I
could into the real world, thenine to five.
I did my best to show up and,no, I was not perfect at it, but
(38:13):
I thought I gave it my all.
And so I was exhausted and Iwas lost and I just thought,
well, I need to do something, Ineed a purpose.
I can't just do nothing at all.
And I was doing someself-reflection and I love that
you just talked about this.
So I can't have kids, and Iwould love to be picking that
ketchup off the floor andanswering that one question real
(38:35):
quick when I'm in the middle ofa thousand things.
And so I started to kind ofreflect around that and I
remembered there was this momentmy sister, when she was nine
years old and I was 18, she waskind of starting to understand
some stuff and she knew that Icouldn't have kids.
And one day, out of the blue,she comes up to me and I'll just
(38:57):
never forget the moment and shegoes Allie, one day when I'm
older I'll be your surrogate andI'm like, okay, first of all,
you're nine, go be nine pleasewhen you're an adult.
Maybe we would talk aboutsomething like that, because I
knew at being 18, like everybodycan change their mind tomorrow.
Like, well, you know, don't besaying stuff, you know, just go
(39:19):
go live your life.
But like, for whatever reason,that thought came into my mind
the moment I was trying todecide like what am I?
What the heck am I gonna dowith my life?
And I remember that momentthinking, oh, my god, someday
she, someday she is going tohave kids and I want to be there
for her and I want to supporther and I want to be able to say
, like you know, I didn't gothrough it, but I know exactly
(39:40):
where you're at in your head inthis process and I can support
you in these ways and besomething to look up to versus
nothing at all.
And so that kind of steered mein the direction with, like,
well, birth doula, you know Ican support women, I can do that
.
Like I have been through somuch medically.
(40:02):
I do not need to birth out achild to know what it feels like
to be going through extrememedical procedures awake because
you're too small to be putunder anesthesia.
I don't need a birthingexperience to know pain and
trauma I don't and so I feltvery confident, very quickly,
that I could do that.
(40:23):
That's something I can do andfeel confident with, and I just
know that I could hold a womanin that space during that time.
And then, as I'm online lookingup birth doula schools and
finally making these decisions,I don't know why or how the
universe does what it does.
(40:43):
God does what it does and alittle ad pops up on the side of
my computer and I blurped itbecause I had been researching
doula stuff.
You know everything, doulastuff.
You know everything.
Doula was popping up naturallyon my computer, but I had to
look twice because it said deathdoula and I went wait a minute,
what?
And it just.
It was the aha moment for me.
I went my god, birth doula anddeath doula, both sides of the
(41:07):
world.
That I can completelyunderstand, because it's not
about you have to go throughbirth to understand birth.
It's not you have to die.
Completely understand, becauseit's not about you have to go
through birth to understandbirth.
It's not you have to die tounderstand what it's like to,
you know, go through thatexperience, but it's the
compassion, it's the holdingspace for others.
It's showing up, it's beingthat grounded light that people
(41:29):
need during these moments.
I can do that.
So that, for me, was thatpivotal moment of I know what I
want to do and this is what I'mdoing, and this is how I came to
it.
Speaker 1 (41:40):
Dang, it all come together and you knew that was
the thing.
Dang, that sounds like my story.
You know you have that feeling,you have that complete peace
and it all makes sense.
So I wanted to ask you, whatadvice would you give someone
facing adversity who dreams ofbuilding something meaningful,
someone that's looking to builda business?
Speaker 2 (42:00):
Fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, keep
trying and keep failing, andfailure leads to the right place
in the right direction.
So try.
It's so simple, because ifyou're not trying, then you're
giving up on yourself or you'relistening to the self-doubt.
And by trying and getting upand saying this is hard, but I'm
(42:21):
going to do it, and justpushing through it, you'll
always get to the place you wantto go.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
I've mentioned on the show a couple of times.
I hate to be redundant, butit's just one of my favorites.
I always think of UD40.
It was the 40th recipe.
39 of those sucked.
They weren't good.
They tried 39 different times,it wasn't good.
And now everyone in like theworld has a bottle of that blue
and yellow lubricant for jointsand cleaning and everything else
(42:49):
.
So UD40, if they would havestopped at 38 or 39, we wouldn't
have it.
Whoever made that is crazy rich.
So try, you know, 40 times.
Who knows, it might be the 40ththat gets you there.
Speaker 2 (43:01):
I haven't heard that one.
I heard Einstein tried over 300and something times before he
figured out.
You know his energy equation.
Speaker 1 (43:15):
Yeah, you just got to keep trying.
You don't know, Sometimes hemight even be gone.
I know, like Vince Avengo, Ithink he was gone and at the
time of his passing he'd onlymade like $400 or something on
art and then it took off likecrazy after he left.
So sometimes it's just thelegacy.
Maybe you'll never see it.
The last question in thissection I wanted to ask you can
you share a story of a timewhere your resilience was tested
(43:36):
while running the business, orhas it always been easy?
Speaker 2 (43:45):
Well, I'm a year into it and so maybe there will be
another time that I actuallywill be tested a little bit more
.
But I think building thebusiness in itself was being
tested every single day becauseI didn't know what I was doing.
I didn't tell anybody that Iwas building a business.
I told my like my closest,closest, closest friends who
(44:10):
were like helping me design mywebsite, in a way like just not
actually designing it but givingme feedback, like I would ask
them like, oh, does this lookgood?
Does this look good?
But I was doing all the legworkand that, to me, was always
testing my resilience.
Every day I woke up.
I mean I woke up at threeo'clock in the morning and I
worked until nine on my business, and then from nine 11, I would
(44:34):
go to the library and finishout anything that I had been
working on all morning, becausethat's when the library opened
was at nine, so I couldn't doanything until then.
And then from 11 until four, Iwas going to my part time job.
And so it was resilience andholding this life of kind of
just looking normal and going toa job and doing daily things
(44:57):
while building a business thatno one really knew about All by
myself, not knowing how to doanything.
I didn't know how to get an LLCor what that looked like.
I didn't like I was going toschool too at the same time.
I was just doing everything allat once, so I was being tested
in every single moment, everymoment.
Speaker 1 (45:16):
That makes sense.
We talked about a lot todaysoul growth.
Fa learned some new terms ofmedical, but I definitely don't
know them all, so I wanted tosee if listeners could take just
one key insider action awayfrom your journey.
What would it be?
Speaker 2 (45:41):
Just to keep pursuing and not giving up, trusting
myself, trusting divine timingand a lot of prayer.
Speaker 1 (45:56):
My grandma always said pray, even if things are
going good.
That's true.
Don't call on them just whenthings are difficult.
That's good stuff.
Well, stay persistent, keeppushing on, go through.
You know all 40 of your recipesof.
You know a household lubricantand yeah well, ali, uh, thank
you for coming out.
Your feedback makes thispodcast even better.
Drop your thoughts or questionson Instagram, facebook, tiktok,
(46:17):
youtube or Buzzsprout.
Thank you so much for beingpart of the Mindforce family.
I love you all.
See ya, thank you.
Hi everyone, I'm Nate Shearer and this is Mindforce,
the podcast for love, life andlearning.
We'll be talking about herpersonal story of the rare
disease Benconi anemia, thegrowth of her soul and
overcoming adversity andbuilding her own business out of
it.
So we're going to start withthe easy thing, the warm-up.
(00:54):
The who, what, why and where.
Who are you?
What do you do, why are youhere and where in the world are
you?
That's a lot of questions.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Thanks, Nate.
You here and where in the worldare you?
That's a lot of questions.
Thanks, Nate.
My name is Allie and I am abirth doula and a death doula
for my business, Soul CompanionServices.
I live in Des Moines, Iowa, andI'm here today to kind of share
a little bit more about myselfand my business and what really
(01:26):
led me here through theadversities of my rare disease,
Fanconi anemia.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Perfect.
Okay, we'll start with a couplefun questions.
Get us going, get the juicesflowing.
What's one unexpected lesson inyour journey with Fanconi
anemia has taught you about life?
Speaker 2 (01:48):
An unexpected lesson would be definitely self-love, I
think when you're going throughsomething almost
incomprehensible for at the timeof my diagnosis a
four-year-old's mind A lot ofthings just shift and perceive
and look and operate differentlythan other kids your own age.
(02:13):
So it required a lot ofself-love and not just a
one-time application of that.
It's been a repetitive washover of self-love for decades of
my life.
So that is a very unexpectedlesson that self-love is very
important and no matter if youhave a lifelong disease or not.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Absolutely.
That's a big concept for alittle kid.
I remember I got my tonsils outwhen I was three, I think three
or four.
You're going in, you're gettingsurgery and you have no idea
what's really going on.
I don't even remember otherthan the mini, mini popsicles I
ate.
That's about all I rememberbecause that's all I could do.
But yeah, it's a big conceptfor some of these things.
You're going to the hospital assuch a small kid.
(03:00):
So for anyone that's notfamiliar, how can you explain
Fanconi anemia pretty quickly?
Speaker 2 (03:09):
It's a rare genetic disorder, so both parents have
to carry the tree in order togive it to their child.
One out of four of their kidscan have Fanconi anemia.
One out of four can carry thegene.
One can carry a partial of thegene and one will not carry the
gene at all.
So, yeah, it's just basicallyusing, at the time, bone marrow
(03:33):
transplants, chemo, radiation tobasically have the Fanconi
anemia be suppressed, becausewhat ultimately happens is your
white blood cells start to dropsignificantly and so your body
doesn't know how to heal.
Anything Like I would easilyget a bruise, if you just like
(03:53):
tapped me on the shoulder,bloody noses anemia.
So I think that's the mostsimple way in explaining it.
You kind of treat it likecancer, but you will always have
fibromyalgia anemia.
So I had my bone marrowtransplant, I had two of them, I
had full body radiation andchemotherapy and my blood counts
(04:14):
went back up to normal, but Iwill always have fibromyalgia
anemia.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Oh, okay, so kind of laying dormant, but always there
.
Okay, that makes sense.
Easy explanation of that, ofsomething that's very
complicated and, like I alwayslike to say, practicing medicine
.
There's just so many differentthings out there.
People are just trying to keeptheir eye on it and things like
that.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
I would say the chapter that I'm currently in,
right now, is owning my power.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
That's a good one.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
I feel like those are the two biggest things that
humans struggle to equal out.
You know, sometimes if you'reway too emotional, you're not
allowing certain logic to enteryour mind to help create that
equilibrium.
And I think the same thing fora logical person.
I think it's great to be alogical person, but if you're
not harnessing and aware of yourown emotions and orchestrating
(05:10):
them at appropriate times oraddressing them at appropriate
times, I think it can make fordifficult growth, just as
equally as an emotional andunbalanced person.
And then safe space is moreabout just creating a safe space
within yourself to mentally gothrough adversities in life.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Good stuff.
I like the balance between thetwo because I think there's, you
know, a lot of times in life.
You need balance.
I think we want to do like onething or another, but it doesn't
seem like that works very muchin life.
I think you need the creativeto match the logic, to match
whatever I know like.
When I started the show, I wasreally nervous about working on
(05:51):
creativeness because I don'tfeel like that's my strong suit.
My wife loves to craft and makestuff for the kids' teachers and
shirts and hats, and you knowshe's made everything.
It feels like cups and cricketstuff all the time and I'm like,
oh, that's not really my thing.
I do spreadsheets and whatnot,but it's really interesting
because I really loved thecreative aspect of sitting down,
thinking of the guests comingup with questions and really
(06:14):
using the more creative side andhaving fun with how I edit and
things like that.
And so it's interesting becauseI was like, oh, that's going to
be the nerve wracking part andit's actually, I think, the most
fun because I feel like I usemore of the logical brain at
work and then I get to switchover and then use the other one
when the other brain is tiredand I get to switch off a little
bit, so sometimes you don'tknow what's going to be more fun
(06:36):
for you.
And the last part for yourtheme is building this business.
So what's the most surprisingthing you've learned while
building this business?
Speaker 2 (06:46):
I am so much more capable than I thought I was.
I think I've always saw myselfin a leadership role, and I did
try to kind of push my way intoa leadership role, but that's
something I learned about myselfis I became humbled very
quickly, and I think that's soimportant.
Now, though, like I pray I'm afaith believer.
(07:09):
I pray to God every day all thetime when I'm moving through
this business journey thatplease keep me humble.
Like you know, it really keepsyou grounded and it keeps you
connected with your community.
It doesn't remove you at allfrom the mission and the journey
.
You know.
It helps you keep the site inmind, and so I learned that I'm
(07:33):
much more capable than I thoughtI was, and I love being humble.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
That's good stuff.
You said you were humbled realquick.
Can you give us a quick rundownof something that maybe didn't
go very smooth in the beginning?
Speaker 2 (07:48):
I am almost 34 years old and I have had about 30 jobs
.
I don't know if that kind ofsums it up.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Yeah, that's quite a few.
Speaker 2 (07:59):
Yeah, I just it's very easy for me to see the
problem and know very quicklyhow to fix it and what we need
to do to get there, and I don'thave patience, and so maybe
there's where that humble camein.
I just got into a job and Icould see where they were
slacking and I would make adviceand be like, hey, if we just
(08:21):
did this, we would be cuttinglike 10 years of waste out of
this whole business, and I youknow it's very obvious that
nobody in management or higherlevels wants to hear that from
someone who's just starting outin a job, and so I think that's
what humbled me is like I can'tkeep these jobs.
Why can't I keep these jobs?
And it's just because I Iwanted to lead and direct and
(08:45):
just kind of get there withoutwasting all this time.
I don't like to waste time, butwith this job and being humble,
I'm learning so much aboutdivine timing and flow and
letting go and trusting, and myfaith has grown too.
I've had a lot moreconversations with God than I
(09:06):
used to.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
So, yeah, that's good stuff.
Yeah, across the board, a lotof good stuff there.
So, yeah, I think that we'realways, you know, more capable
than we believe.
We always have the inner persontelling us what's going on and,
for some reason, the innermonologue is always negative.
I wish our inner monologue wasa little bit more positive, and
that's something I think that wecould all probably work on a
little bit.
(09:27):
Before we jump into the meat ofthe three themes, I wanted to
see if you had a question for me, so they're not all directed at
you yeah, um, so I love thatyou um still currently in the
air force, correct?
Speaker 2 (09:42):
em yeah, active duty yeah, my little brother went
through the Air Force and heworks at SpaceX now, so I was
very curious what made you wantto go into the Air Force?
I did listen to your pilotvideo on your YouTube channel,
so I did learn a little bitabout you, and what I noticed
(10:02):
too in some of your otherpodcasts is that you don't get
to share much of your life whenyou're interviewing the other
person.
But I loved listening to youand your story, and I even
listened to the podcast whereyou interviewed your mother
about grief, and that wasreleased the day before my
birthday too.
So I just absolutely lovelistening to you and your story.
(10:23):
I think you're an amazingperson.
So what made you go into theAir Force was like one out of
the only like 100 questions thatI decided to go with.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Okay, yeah, it's kind of funny.
It's ironic how you know theLord has plans for you and you
don't know what they are,because my dad growing up was in
the Air Force and I swore I'dnever join.
I saw him like polish his bootsand put on his uniform and you
know, every morning I'm like I'mnot doing that.
That's not for me.
I don't want to work out, Idon't want to have rules and you
(10:55):
know all those silly thingswhen you're a kid and you think
you understand what's going onin the world and you completely
don't.
So I did that for the longesttime, like saying I wouldn't.
I went off to University ofNorth Dakota to become a pilot
because I wanted to be a pilotmy whole entire life.
My mom has this book where itshows like pictures She'd slide
in that little wallet we used toget in school and it would ask
like who your three friends were, what's your favorite food and
(11:17):
what you want to be.
Every single year I was wantedto be a pilot, except for one.
I said dog catcher.
I don't.
I don't know what the dogcatcher thing was it must've
been a cart or something butevery year I wanted to be a
pilot.
So I tried to do that.
I unfortunately kind of ran outof money, made some poor
choices at school, you know,majored in the wrong thing,
(11:37):
spent a little too much timepartying and things like that,
so I ended up running out ofmoney.
And then I kind of went througha few different things and sold
cars at Honda for a month.
I did adult swim lessons.
I was the webmaster for theschool, like cleaning up photos
and doing some stuff basic HTMLstuff not nearly a good
programmer, but some basic stuffand I just didn't feel like I
(11:58):
was going anywhere and so I waslike what do I do?
I need to do something.
And so I walked in and tried totalk to a recruiter and
recruiter was like, well, wecan't guarantee any jobs.
It's like, no, I want aspecific job, I want air traffic
control.
So I wanted the other side ofthe radio, so I was already
flying.
I was like I want to stay in theaviation world, so let me cross
over and do that.
And so the first one told me noand I was like I don't really
(12:19):
don't really like that answer.
So I found another one that was45 minute drive or something
from from Portland, so down inOregon city I think it was, and
so I had to go down there, foundthe recruiter.
He gave me the guaranteed, solet me sign for that.
So I came in guaranteed airtraffic did that for five years.
Sleep schedule and some otherthings caused some problems for
me so I was only sleeping likefour hours a night.
(12:39):
It got pretty rough because weused to do two days, two mid or
two days, two swings, two.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Pretty rough because we used to do two days, two
swings, two mid and then two off.
So the schedule is a littlerough.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
So I transitioned out of that into contracting, which
is another ironic thing,because my dad was contracting
and I used to poke fun at himthat he just sat at a desk and
just did paperwork.
Because when you're a kid whenyou tell your friends your dad's
in the Air Force, everyone says, oh, does he fly jets?
I'm like no, he signs paperwork.
It's not quite as cool and so Iused to poke fun a little bit.
(13:12):
And then, funny, I go up andsign for you know a few new jobs
to cross over and I get theexact one.
So I call him and, of course,like he's laughing on the other
side of the phone.
So the Lord is pretty hilariousin his irony and bringing it
all the way back.
So I did that for three years,enjoyed it.
I wanted a little bit more of achallenge, so I crossed over
from enlisted to officer andbecame a medical service corps
(13:33):
officer.
So now I'm run the backside ofthe clinic.
I love helping people, takingcare of people.
I unfortunately pass out atblood and needles so I don't
work the front of the housebecause I would hit the deck.
So I do insurance and pharmacyand logistics and readiness and
all these things that areadministrative, so healthcare
(13:53):
administrator or healthcareadmin, anything that's not
touching a patient.
Pretty much I do in thebackside of the house, and so
that's my long winded thing onhow I ended up here and where
I'm at.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
Thank you so much for sharing.
I think it's very important tohear the interviewers synopsis
life focus, because you knowit's one thing to hear a little
bit about me, but I just reallythink that was valued.
So thank you.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Yeah, absolutely.
I just find it funny.
There's so many people likechief master, sergeant of the
air force and all thesedifferent people you'll hear
like oh, you know, why'd youjoin or how long were you going
to stay?
And time and time again you'llhear people I'm doing for and
leaving, and then they're therelike 26 years later.
And so I think once you get inand you find that sense of
(14:41):
purpose and I know there's likesome things that aren't great
and so you'll see complaints andwhatnot, but a lot of them, I
feel like, are the same.
On the outside they're like ah,I don't want rules or a boss or
this, or I'm like pretty mucheverywhere you got a boss and
some form of dress code and youhave some form of rule Like you
can't walk into McDonald's andjust go wild either, so so it's
a little weird to me.
I think there's a lot of goodbenefits, a lot of discounts.
(15:03):
You know we get VA like homeloans and lots of different
things.
I think the Air Force has takenreally good care of me.
So it's been good 16 years.
We'll have to see how long westay the family's kind of on an
agreement.
We kind of see how the nextassignment's coming up.
If everyone's happy andeveryone's still feeling good,
we take the next one.
We'll just kind of take eachassignment so out here in the UK
(15:29):
for three years right now, ortwo and a half more, and we'll
see where we go from there.
So we were in Florida a yearbefore that and Japan before
that, so it's been a wild road.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
I like that you use the family unit to all the side,
like is it working for all ofus, like that's so important
when you're in the military.
That's very healthy.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Absolutely Okay.
Well, we'll jump into the threemain themes, First one being
personal story of the raredisease.
So can you share a moment?
You first learned about yourdiagnosis so you said you were
four and how did that kind ofshape things?
Speaker 2 (15:54):
I mean, you're little , but so I had just started
dance class at three years oldand my older brother, who is
three years older than me he'sin the Marines he had pneumonia
at six years old Yep, six orseven and my mom was a nurse and
I was coughing a little bit andshe's really good friends with
the doctor and she's, just likeI, always been coughing.
(16:17):
Will you just take her down fora blood draw, like just to make
sure she doesn't have likebronchitis or something, because
her son's already sick?
And he comes back and said goodnews is she does have
bronchitis, but her blood countsare super low.
She needs to be at theuniversity right now.
And so that's kind of how welearned about what was going on
and how it shaped me is I wentfrom kind of you know, careless
(16:41):
and childlike and innocent justin the moment, to very cynical,
and I remained cynical untiljust about two years ago, Mm-hmm
.
So for decades I was very angryand hurt and upset because it's
lifelong, it doesn't go away andit's not like breast cancer.
(17:05):
This is how we treat it and youknow, it's very unique to the
person with FA because at thetime of my diagnosis they didn't
know that there were differentkinds of genes of it.
There's like 23 different kindof honey anemia genes now, and
so everything was trial anderror and there were a lot of
(17:27):
complications with that, likepeople nowadays spend about one,
maybe three months in thehospital to get their treatment,
where I was in for six months.
So it definitely shaped me in acynical way that I felt like
this is the train I'm on and I'mnever gonna get to get off of
(17:47):
it, even in my adult life.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
So you said that you had.
You know you're cynical andstruggled with that for many
years, and so one thing I'mreally interested in on the show
is that transition point.
So you're doing it for all thatall that time and it's kind of
built up what was the aha Likewhat?
Because you could have keptgoing Right.
(18:11):
So how did you, you know, after30 some odd years, make that
transition?
Speaker 2 (18:16):
A simple answer.
Writing started it for me, butit wasn't for me.
It was not uh-huh, um.
For me it was just being morecurious about where the heck do
I find joy and like can I justsqueeze like the smallest amount
(18:37):
of that out?
Because I think for a long timeI was just looking for that,
that one and done.
You know just, I'm happy.
Now Everything's good, likeI'll never have to be cynical,
ever again.
But when I got into writing Idiscovered so many things about
myself and over time thatsnowballed into.
(18:57):
This is the direction I cankeep going in, now that I know
all of these things and I knowwhat I need to be paying more
attention to.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
I think that's a good reminder of there's like ups
and downs.
I think that we want everythingto be good or everything to be
bad.
You know all these differentthings.
There's going to be ups anddowns good days, bad days and so
I think we always got toremember that this is going to
change, no matter what it is.
If it's like the peak of allhigh, you know it's going to
change, and if it's the lowestof lows, it's going to change
(19:27):
too.
So not that it makes it easier,necessarily.
It's still difficult, but atleast knowing that things are
going to change because they'reconstantly changing.
The next question I had for youwhat are some of the biggest
challenges you face with FA andhow have you overcome them?
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Acceptance, and not just acceptance but embracing
whatever.
It is that I need to acceptbecause you can accept something
like yep, this is my life,whatever.
But if you're to accept becauseyou can accept something like
yep, this is my life, whatever.
But if you're embracing it,you're welcoming it and you're
owning it, you're addressing it,you're loving it and and you're
moving on from the things thatyou should be moving on from.
(20:08):
So I needed to accept that thisis my life and these.
This is things that I'm goingto have to always face, but I
also need to embrace all ofthese things here and now and in
the future, so that I couldalways stay grounded and in
self-love and joyous, no matterwhat is happening, good or bad.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
It makes sense.
Do you have any daily things?
Is it a restricted by diet, ordo you have anything that kind
of shows up, or is it just atcertain times it shows up?
The acceptance and theembracing part no, I mean like,
are you restricted in diet?
You said that it's like alwaysdormant and always there.
Are there things like you stayaway from, or the impact you
(20:52):
every day, or is it just kind oflooming in the background?
Speaker 2 (20:56):
So, that is, I think, what kept me cynical for so
long, because it's everything.
I am five to eight hundredtimes more likely to get any
type of cancer than the averageperson.
So skin cancer, lung cancer,throat cancer, breast cancer,
ovarian cancer, colon cancer,you name it I'm five to 800
(21:17):
times more likely to get it thanthe average person.
So every single day, everysingle moment, every little tiny
change is like what's that?
And so if you live in thatmindset like what's that, what's
that, what's that, you becomeparanoid, you're going to freak
out with every little thing.
So I think people with FAthey're always trying to find a
(21:39):
balance of where can I remainsane with everything that I have
to think about and go throughevery day?
And so if you just want to kindof like live as normal as
possible, go to your you knowsix month appointments, your
annual appointments.
You get your checkups, you makesure everything is going okay.
(22:01):
But in between that you reallydo need to just enjoy life as
much as possible.
And I think if you'rerestricting yourself and that
brings unhappiness, then youknow you're not living life
fully.
And no, I don't agree withunhealthy habits or decision
makings, but those people that Iknow who have walked down that
(22:22):
path.
They passed away doing whatthey enjoy doing.
So I think that's another partof it is live fully in your
happiness, whatever that is, butdo be mindful that you're
either harming yourself orharming others in the process.
So find your balance.
What makes you happy?
What at the end of the day,when you're either harming
yourself or harming others inthe process?
So find your balance.
What makes you happy?
What, at the end of the day,when you're on your deathbed,
(22:43):
can you say I'm proud and happyof the way I live my life, no
matter what that looked like?
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Yeah, that makes sense.
I feel like I've had a fewdifferent episodes where that's
come up is life's too short.
I think losing my dad is reallylike reinforce that.
But I find it funny because,back to the balance thing, I
think that everything is aboutbalance.
Like I don't think you shouldgo YOLO and throw all your money
out the window and go crazy,like you still have to, you know
(23:11):
, have some form of balance.
But at the same time, if it'sdown to a decision that doesn't
really matter too much andyou're like we better not we
don't have time or we don't havethis, like no, just just do it.
I mean, you don't know ifyou're going to have another day
, or we never really know ifwe're going to get hit by a bus
or whatnot.
And that's one thing that'sjust really crazy to me.
I was going to touch on itearlier, but I kind of got
(23:34):
living your life, you're three,four and all of a sudden you
have this diagnosis and likemedical conditions are just kind
of wild to me because you don'treally know what's going on.
He was living his life, he's 50.
You know, things are going fine.
He rides his bike, he's active,he's healthy, and then he, you
know, has a cough.
A cough goes for a week, twoweeks I think, it was like close
to a month, and then he goes in, his lymph nodes are swolled up
(23:56):
and then he's got stage fourcancer and it's a mastetized
right word to the differentparts of his body, brain and
whatnot off his lungs.
It's like how could you be like, walking around relatively
healthy I mean, a cough isn'treally that big of a deal in the
grand scheme of things, beingable to still go to work and do
(24:16):
everything.
So I feel like at any giventime, you know you could
potentially get diagnosed orhave something.
So there should be some level ofof enjoy yourself, enjoy your
life.
Don't go crazy and like makepoor financial decisions or
something like that, but leantowards, you know, enjoying your
life.
You don't know, we never doLike.
(24:38):
I wish we would have taken onelast trip, had some fun, went to
the coliseum, leaning tower ofpisa, you know, saw gladiators
fight or something.
For some reason I'm onlymentioning things in europe.
But yeah, just live your liferight.
The last question in thissection is how is your
experience with this raredisease inspired or shaped the
way you connect with others?
Are you in FA support groups?
Speaker 2 (24:59):
Yeah, so there is something called the FA adult
group, and that's verysignificant because when I was
diagnosed, there was nolongevity there.
They weren't really finding outthat people had FA until they
were 13, 14, 20s, and so by thentheir white blood counts were
(25:24):
so low that their body wasn'teven strong enough to take on
the chemo, radiation and bonemarrow transplants.
So when I was diagnosed, youknow my mom's asking all these
questions and they don't evenhave the data or research at
that point.
It's like we don't know howlong she'll live or if she will
live.
And now they are getting peopleto live into adulthood.
(25:46):
We're still not living verylong.
We're still dying around theage of 50 or 60.
So there's that.
You know.
Additional, not only do you haveFA, not only are you 500, 800
times more likely to have anytype of cancer.
You might not stay 65 years old.
So it's just like I think,because of all those layers, you
(26:06):
need to be able to take a stepback and, like you're saying,
enjoy the moment, but don't gotoo far.
But that is ultimately whatshifts a lot of things in your
mind when it comes to where do Ifall in line?
How do I stay groundedcommunity and I absolutely love
(26:28):
community, and so it wasn'tuntil I was in my mid-20s that I
got on Facebook after nothaving Facebook for six years,
and I just came across a FAadult group and I said what's
that?
So I started talking andgetting to know people and I
found out that they hold ayearly retreat for FA adults
(26:53):
where we all get to be flown into a location each year and we
have this meeting where FAadults come together with their
families too, if they want tobring their families, and they
have different events going onfor us to learn about what
they're doing in the FA medicalresearch field.
So they have the FA adultmeeting and at the same time
(27:15):
they have a scientific symposiumwhere all the doctors,
researchers and scientists cometogether.
So it's usually held in a hoteland all the FA adults are in
this ballroom over here doing FAadult stuff and then in the
ballroom next door there's thescientific symposium going on
and you can jump back and forth.
You don't have to attend any ofthe groups.
(27:38):
So, like it's amazing becauseyou get to talk to other adults
who know exactly how you feel,because for so long and to a
point is still kind of is a veryrare disease and there was only
600 people diagnosed when I wasdiagnosed and 19 survivors like
it was not a good outcome.
(27:59):
So for a very long time, whileI'm in words, that I'm cynical
and I'm angry with this thingthat I think I'm only enduring,
it's not until my adult lifethat I'm like, oh my God,
there's this whole group and Icould be a part of it, and so
with every adult meeting there'ssomewhere between 30 and 60 of
us, which is still a very smallnumber.
(28:20):
Like if you think let's geteveryone who's had breast cancer
in a room, that number is goingto.
You know you're not going tohave room.
But when there's 50 to 60 adultswho say I have FA, I struggle.
And these are the ways Istruggle and I like how you
mentioned your dad beingdiagnosed in a series, because
that is another aspect that wedeal with with FA.
(28:40):
We're not all diagnosed atbirth or when we're young.
Sometimes we live a long lifeand we get married and we have
kids and then all of a sudden wehave, you know, this thing to
battle with and we're draggingour families through it too.
So that's a really long windedanswer to your where's your
sense of community question, butthat's how I connect with
(29:01):
community now as an adult.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
Yeah, that's awesome.
I think that's perfect becauseit's interesting to me with the
Internet.
The Internet is a very cruelplace, but there is some good
that comes out of it and so it'salways good to see when that
comes through.
I started a Facebook page for,like my career field.
I was like why don't we haveone?
People can ask questions Thingsare struggling with?
(29:25):
And I was like, oh, it'll havelike 10 people.
Then it grows and grows and nowit's like at 1.1 to 1,100
people in it now and it's justso awesome to see on there.
Someone just asks a simplequestion they're struggling with
, you know at work, and thenlike five people jump in like
this is how we do it, and thenthey send off the spreadsheet,
the PowerPoint slides orwhatever it is and it's solved
(29:45):
and over with.
I'm like it's so awesome whenit comes together.
It's good because there's somuch like being mean to each
other and bullying and thingslike that.
Like social media can be goodand do some awesome things.
It just sometimes there's somesome negative out there.
The next part we have is soulgrowth.
Question is what does soulgrowth mean to you and how has
it become a central part of yourlife?
Speaker 2 (30:09):
That's a very big question.
I absolutely love the questionsyou ask because the questions
you ask, because the questionsyou ask are what I do on a daily
basis.
So what soul growth means to meis trying and failing and
failing, over and over and overand forever and ever, until you
(30:29):
die.
You get one magnificent soultrapped human experience on this
planet, you know.
So I think we should notoverthink it.
We need to learn from ourselvesand we need to move on from
that.
And so soul growth is that, ina sense, and always inwardly,
asking yourself these questionsand always differentiating from
(30:52):
ego to consciousness.
You know, consciousness, you'rejust absorbing and discarding
what needs to be discarded.
But your ego is that one who istrying to break down everything
and be a critic, in a way, andsay like you know, why do you
think that way and why are youdoing that?
And for a long time I didn'tquestion any of that, I just
(31:14):
absorbed and I didn't discard orquestion anything.
And so soul growth is coming toa place where you stop and you
say why am I thinking that way?
Where did I learn that?
Who did I learn that through?
Why did I take that on as mine?
So that's that soul growth isreally questioning those things
that come in and deciding foryourself what it means to you
(31:38):
and how you want to place thatwithin.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
Awesome, so I love stories.
I think that's the best way welearn passing information down,
so can you share a pivotalmoment or experience that
significantly contributed toyour personal or spiritual
growth growth, launching mybusiness.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
I had done a lot of journaling, self-reflecting and
meditation for the last 10 years.
I think the biggestbreakthrough was a 10-day silent
retreat that really shifted alot of things in my mind.
To not be able to talk, write,speak, make eye contact with
anybody in the retreat, like youalways had to look down at the
ground, and I meditated for 11hours a day.
(32:25):
And that silence and thatinwardness allowed me to have a
very big pivotal moment as well,where I decided like, okay, you
know, I've done a lot ofjournaling, a lot of reflection,
a lot of inward work, and thissilent retreat was like the
(32:45):
finale for me.
That really opened that gatewayfor me to saying I want to keep
walking in this direction.
And launching my business wasthat pivotal moment where I'm
like, okay, this is what it'ssupposed to look like and feel
like, and this is, this is now Iknow how it's supposed to
unfold within myself, not justin a real, like logical, basic,
(33:09):
business-like way, like I knowhow it's supposed to, where it's
supposed to stem from.
And so it's a lot of releasingfear, you know, because fear
doesn't allow you to live fully.
You have to embrace thepotentials of failure.
And so when I was able to dothat, I thought, okay, like I'm
(33:30):
going to launch this businessbut I could definitely flop in.
You know they say it takesthree years to take a business
into success.
So I, you know I had to embracemy business could fail within
that three year span.
And once I accepted andembraced that, I was able to
step fully into my authenticpower of servicing others
(33:50):
through being a birth doula anda death doula crazy when it all
comes together and it just makessense.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
I remember, like I was mentioning, I'm on my third
job in the Air Force and youknow, the first one's okay but
sleeps all over the place.
Second one's like fine, but Idon't feel challenged.
And then I get the third onewhere I get to help people and,
and you know, I just rememberthe first day I shadowed, I got
to go over and see what they didand it's just crazy how
everything lines up, becausethat day I was like this is the
thing I need to do, like therewasn't.
(34:21):
There was just pure clarity.
You have to apply for it.
I go in.
Normally you get two shots, butthe way it was set up for me,
how much time I had in service,I only had one and only shot and
I was like this needs to happen.
And you know, blessed enough,it all worked out.
But it's just so great where,like this is a thing, you're
happy to get up out of bed andtake care of people and you
(34:42):
don't know what you're missinguntil you're there, cause the
other two jobs they were likefine, I went to work and things
were good you know, there wasnothing wrong with either of
them, cause we'd be like, oh'sso good.
But I wanted to ask you went tothe retreat and that was your
pivotal moment.
How do you integrate some ofthose lessons from that pivotal
(35:03):
moment into your daily life?
Speaker 2 (35:08):
I don't leave my inner world.
I'm human and I'm getting upand I'm going to work and I'm
doing things, and I'm going tothe grocery store and I'm
getting gas, but I am in hereall the time.
I can't leave that placebecause if I leave that place
(35:28):
then I'm not authentic, I'm nottrue to myself.
Leave that place, then I'm notauthentic, I'm not true to
myself, and I began to lose thatgrounded place.
It's like a relationship to me.
If I start to astray from myselfon the outside, then you know,
I don't know what it is that I'mthinking.
I don't know what it is thatI'm feeling so like, even like
(35:51):
getting gas, like, oh, it's cold, okay, I'm feeling so like,
even like getting gas, like, oh,it's cold, okay, I'm feeling
the cold air.
You know how does that make mefeel?
It makes me feel good.
Why does it make me feel good?
Because I'm so blessed to beable to drive a car and stand
and feel the weather and I'm notsick in a hospital.
It's me a moment to be withmyself but like remind myself of
who I want to be in everysingle moment.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
Yeah, that's amazing.
I saw something the other daywhere just perspective is so
important.
They were talking about theperson I think it was a mom
taking care of her kids and shewas like I switched how I looked
at things.
I was saying I have to get youcereal, I have to clean the
house, I have to pick up toys, Ihave to.
And then she switched it to Iget to.
(36:37):
Like some people have wantedkids and can't have kids and
have, you know, had babies thatdidn't make it and, you know,
lost kids along the way.
They would love to pick up thetoys, love to make that extra
meal, love to make the grilledcheese and the chicken nuggets
and pick up the ketchup.
That's all over the place, socrazy that you know just one
word, I mean.
And we say, oh, just one word.
(36:58):
But I'm a strong believer thatwords are powerful.
Get to and have to are wildlydifferent.
Like I get to do that, I get todeliver and take care of you,
and so sometimes you are tired,you're stressed, you're drained
and they're asking you thehundredth question for the day.
But try to just reframe it.
Like you, you're in the cold.
I like this.
This is good.
Let me answer that question.
(37:19):
Let me take care of the kidsand keep pushing knowledge out
to them, but just perspective isso powerful.
You just pause for a second Now.
Not that I do it all the time,definitely nowhere near perfect,
but yeah, just try to switch alittle bit.
That is some good stuff.
So we'll move into theovercoming adversity and
building the business.
So I'm curious what was theturning point for building the
(37:42):
business?
Were you like me and justdidn't feel like you were going,
or what was the thing that waslike I got to get this going?
Speaker 2 (37:50):
Very good question got to get this going.
Very good question, I would say.
I felt like I ran out of ideas.
I had over 30 jobs and Iapplied myself the best that I
could into the real world, thenine to five.
I did my best to show up and,no, I was not perfect at it, but
(38:13):
I thought I gave it my all.
And so I was exhausted and Iwas lost and I just thought,
well, I need to do something, Ineed a purpose.
I can't just do nothing at all.
And I was doing someself-reflection and I love that
you just talked about this.
So I can't have kids, and Iwould love to be picking that
ketchup off the floor andanswering that one question real
(38:35):
quick when I'm in the middle ofa thousand things.
And so I started to kind ofreflect around that and I
remembered there was this momentmy sister, when she was nine
years old and I was 18, she waskind of starting to understand
some stuff and she knew that Icouldn't have kids.
And one day, out of the blue,she comes up to me and I'll just
(38:57):
never forget the moment and shegoes Allie, one day when I'm
older I'll be your surrogate andI'm like, okay, first of all,
you're nine, go be nine pleasewhen you're an adult.
Maybe we would talk aboutsomething like that, because I
knew at being 18, like everybodycan change their mind tomorrow.
Like, well, you know, don't besaying stuff, you know, just go
(39:19):
go live your life.
But like, for whatever reason,that thought came into my mind
the moment I was trying todecide like what am I?
What the heck am I gonna dowith my life?
And I remember that momentthinking, oh, my god, someday
she, someday she is going tohave kids and I want to be there
for her and I want to supporther and I want to be able to say
, like you know, I didn't gothrough it, but I know exactly
(39:40):
where you're at in your head inthis process and I can support
you in these ways and besomething to look up to versus
nothing at all.
And so that kind of steered mein the direction with, like,
well, birth doula, you know Ican support women, I can do that
.
Like I have been through somuch medically.
(40:02):
I do not need to birth out achild to know what it feels like
to be going through extrememedical procedures awake because
you're too small to be putunder anesthesia.
I don't need a birthingexperience to know pain and
trauma I don't and so I feltvery confident, very quickly,
that I could do that.
(40:23):
That's something I can do andfeel confident with, and I just
know that I could hold a womanin that space during that time.
And then, as I'm online lookingup birth doula schools and
finally making these decisions,I don't know why or how the
universe does what it does.
(40:43):
God does what it does and alittle ad pops up on the side of
my computer and I blurped itbecause I had been researching
doula stuff.
You know everything, doulastuff.
You know everything.
Doula was popping up naturallyon my computer, but I had to
look twice because it said deathdoula and I went wait a minute,
what?
And it just.
It was the aha moment for me.
I went my god, birth doula anddeath doula, both sides of the
(41:07):
world.
That I can completelyunderstand, because it's not
about you have to go throughbirth to understand birth.
It's not you have to die.
Completely understand, becauseit's not about you have to go
through birth to understandbirth.
It's not you have to die tounderstand what it's like to,
you know, go through thatexperience, but it's the
compassion, it's the holdingspace for others.
It's showing up, it's beingthat grounded light that people
(41:29):
need during these moments.
I can do that.
So that, for me, was thatpivotal moment of I know what I
want to do and this is what I'mdoing, and this is how I came to
it.
Speaker 1 (41:40):
Dang, it all come together and you knew that was
the thing.
Dang, that sounds like my story.
You know you have that feeling,you have that complete peace
and it all makes sense.
So I wanted to ask you, whatadvice would you give someone
facing adversity who dreams ofbuilding something meaningful,
someone that's looking to builda business?
Speaker 2 (42:00):
Fail, try and fail, try and fail, try and fail, keep
trying and keep failing, andfailure leads to the right place
in the right direction.
So try.
It's so simple, because ifyou're not trying, then you're
giving up on yourself or you'relistening to the self-doubt.
And by trying and getting upand saying this is hard, but I'm
(42:21):
going to do it, and justpushing through it, you'll
always get to the place you wantto go.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
I've mentioned on the show a couple of times.
I hate to be redundant, butit's just one of my favorites.
I always think of UD40.
It was the 40th recipe.
39 of those sucked.
They weren't good.
They tried 39 different times,it wasn't good.
And now everyone in like theworld has a bottle of that blue
and yellow lubricant for jointsand cleaning and everything else
(42:49):
.
So UD40, if they would havestopped at 38 or 39, we wouldn't
have it.
Whoever made that is crazy rich.
So try, you know, 40 times.
Who knows, it might be the 40ththat gets you there.
Speaker 2 (43:01):
I haven't heard that one.
I heard Einstein tried over 300and something times before he
figured out.
You know his energy equation.
Speaker 1 (43:15):
Yeah, you just got to keep trying.
You don't know, Sometimes hemight even be gone.
I know, like Vince Avengo, Ithink he was gone and at the
time of his passing he'd onlymade like $400 or something on
art and then it took off likecrazy after he left.
So sometimes it's just thelegacy.
Maybe you'll never see it.
The last question in thissection I wanted to ask you can
you share a story of a timewhere your resilience was tested
(43:36):
while running the business, orhas it always been easy?
Speaker 2 (43:45):
Well, I'm a year into it and so maybe there will be
another time that I actuallywill be tested a little bit more
.
But I think building thebusiness in itself was being
tested every single day becauseI didn't know what I was doing.
I didn't tell anybody that Iwas building a business.
I told my like my closest,closest, closest friends who
(44:10):
were like helping me design mywebsite, in a way like just not
actually designing it but givingme feedback, like I would ask
them like, oh, does this lookgood?
Does this look good?
But I was doing all the legworkand that, to me, was always
testing my resilience.
Every day I woke up.
I mean I woke up at threeo'clock in the morning and I
worked until nine on my business, and then from nine 11, I would
(44:34):
go to the library and finishout anything that I had been
working on all morning, becausethat's when the library opened
was at nine, so I couldn't doanything until then.
And then from 11 until four, Iwas going to my part time job.
And so it was resilience andholding this life of kind of
just looking normal and going toa job and doing daily things
(44:57):
while building a business thatno one really knew about All by
myself, not knowing how to doanything.
I didn't know how to get an LLCor what that looked like.
I didn't like I was going toschool too at the same time.
I was just doing everything allat once, so I was being tested
in every single moment, everymoment.
Speaker 1 (45:16):
That makes sense.
We talked about a lot todaysoul growth.
Fa learned some new terms ofmedical, but I definitely don't
know them all, so I wanted tosee if listeners could take just
one key insider action awayfrom your journey.
What would it be?
Speaker 2 (45:41):
Just to keep pursuing and not giving up, trusting
myself, trusting divine timingand a lot of prayer.
Speaker 1 (45:56):
My grandma always said pray, even if things are
going good.
That's true.
Don't call on them just whenthings are difficult.
That's good stuff.
Well, stay persistent, keeppushing on, go through.
You know all 40 of your recipesof.
You know a household lubricantand yeah well, ali, uh, thank
you for coming out.
Your feedback makes thispodcast even better.
Drop your thoughts or questionson Instagram, facebook, tiktok,
(46:17):
youtube or Buzzsprout.
Thank you so much for beingpart of the Mindforce family.
I love you all.
See ya, thank you.
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