May 21, 2025 • 49 mins
I would love to hear from you!
Brian Heilig shares his powerful journey from the birth of his micro preemie son in Mexico to finding faith, purpose, and a mission to help others. His story reveals how crisis moments can transform our lives and lead us to deeper connections with God and community.
• Brian's son Grayson was born at exactly 26 weeks weighing only 1.6 pounds after his wife developed severe preeclampsia
• Being in a Mexican hospital with limited equipment and language barriers created enormous challenges for the family
• The NICU experience became Brian's defining faith moment, connecting with God for the first time in the hospital chapel
• Through social media, their story mobilized worldwide support from NICU nurses and strangers that enabled a life flight to Miami
• Grayson was later diagnosed with autism at age 3, adding another dimension to their parenting journey
• Brian's family discovered the significant impact of nutrition on health, especially for children with autism
• Intermittent fasting has become a beneficial practice in Brian's life, helping with weight management and mental clarity
• After feeling called by God, Brian wrote "Breathe, Eat, Poop, and Grow," with all proceeds going to provide proper NICU equipment to Mexican hospitals
• The most important lesson from Brian's journey: "Get with God before you need Him"
Connect with us on social media and share your thoughts! Your voice matters in our community.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Welcome everyone.
I'm Nate Shearer, your host,and this is Mindforce, the
podcast that's all about divinginto love, life and learning.
Here, your mind matters.
Today we have Brian Heilig, andtoday we'll be talking about
God, his micro preemie story,their kids, and health and
nutrition.
So, brian, let's start with thefour W's.
Keep it easy.
Who are you, brian Heilig?
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Pretty easy.
Yeah, pretty easy, right, Igave it easy.
Who are you, brian Eilig?
Pretty easy right, I gave itaway.
I actually grew up in Chicago,born and raised in Chicago, met
my wife in high school 34 yearsago, five years ago, long time
ago.
We're very fortunate to travel,live all over the world, but
also we lived in Mexico, whichis part of our story.
But right now we're currentlyin the Orlando area.
(01:05):
We have two kids and a dognamed Slinky.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Nice, okay, what do you currently do?
Speaker 2 (01:12):
So currently my day job, if you will, I'm a sales
trainer in the timeshareindustry.
Nice yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
And why are you here today?
Speaker 2 (01:23):
So I'm here because I was told to be here, which
we'll get into it to share ourmessage, share our story in
hopes to transform other humanbeings' lives.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
And you said where in the world.
It sounds like Florida, so wegot that one covered.
I really appreciate you comingon the show and I love the
aspect of storytelling.
I think that's really the coreof humans and human connection.
That's how we get throughthings.
I'm active duty military and soI know a lot of times we
struggle with suicides and youknow being isolated and all
these different things and Idon't know what the answer is
(01:57):
because it's such a complexproblem.
But I believe if there was onesolution which there's probably
not one single, but if there wasone solution, which there's
probably not one single, but ifthere was closest to one, it's
stories and connection.
Like when you are at a badplace, you feel like I'm the
only one.
There's no one else that's beenthrough what I've been through,
and hearing a story fromsomeone else like that changes
(02:18):
the entire entire thing.
So I appreciate you coming onand we'll start with the warmup.
What would you say is thedefining moment in your faith
journey?
Speaker 2 (02:25):
And we'll start with the warmup.
What would you say is thedefining moment in your faith
journey?
A hundred percent, when we hadour micro preemie in Mexico.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
no question, not even a little bit.
That's a pretty you're good,pretty straightforward one.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Yeah, I mean just to put it in a little bit more
perspective.
They say that the NICU wallshave heard more prayers than
most churches.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Yeah, I can.
I can definitely imagine You'reat that.
You know a very low point Atthat point.
A lot of people try a lot ofdifferent things.
Absolutely On a lighter note,can you share a funny or
heartwarming story about yourkids?
That always brings a smile toyour face.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Well, my kids are young right now, right, so it's
kind of easy.
They there's seven, grayson'sseven and Nathan is five are
Nate, and I man, I think it'sjust right now they're going
through language like they'rehearing things and then they're
repeating it and I'm like wheredid you get that from?
And it's just so amazing to seethem develop into these little
humans that are speaking beyondtheir age, you know, and that
(03:25):
always is always something, orthe thing that really gets me
and we're in that stage rightnow is, you know, daddy, come
play with me, I just dropeverything and go.
Yeah, let's go.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Yeah, it is pretty funny though, Vocabulary.
Today my son was askingdifferent terms and whatnot.
He just turned seven.
He was trying to get us todefine transition and I and I'm
like I know what it means.
But there's like certain onesyou're like how do you?
You go from one thing toanother.
He's like what do you mean?
I'm like you change from one toanother.
I like transition, I I don'tknow.
There it's tough, we know, butuh, getting it through to him is
(03:59):
a little bit different.
But yeah, it is hilarious.
I was trying to think I had a,a line, but I just can't think
of what it is.
But there was something he wassaying the other day.
I'm like it's not a crazy word,but it's just a word that just
doesn't match.
You know the seven year old.
You're like why are you usingthat?
Like right.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Where did you get that from?
Speaker 1 (04:17):
Very interesting.
And then the last warm upquestion what's one health or
nutrition habit you've recentlyadopted that has made a
difference in your family's life?
Speaker 2 (04:27):
I've recently been very into intermittent fasting.
This worked extremely well.
So how it's helped my family inthis situation.
Example today I still haven'teaten yet, but I've definitely
got the kids breakfast together,the kids lunch together, you
know, and I'm more free to focuson them and be with them.
I made my wife's breakfast, youknow.
(04:48):
So all of that I've been mealprepping, so I've been doing a
lot today as far as food andcooking, but haven't eaten yet.
So it seems to free up time forthem.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
So what's your schedule?
What's your cutoff for yourintermittent?
Speaker 2 (05:02):
So on a typical day it's seven to one.
So what?
Eight hours, no six hour window, 18 fasting, I think that's it.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
It's 18 hours.
I have this app Fasty, so Ijust you know it tells me what
would you say is the hardestpart of fasting and the biggest
benefit.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
The hardest part is getting to the 18 hours.
You know, I started with 16hours and then pushed it and now
it's like 18 is fairly easy.
I did 23 hours the other day,22 hours the other day, but I
think that would be the mostdifficult thing.
And just just knowing thatyou're really not starving like
you're going to make it, and thebenefits oh my gosh.
Yeah, definitely weight control.
(05:44):
Clear your mind the foodaddiction that I tended to have
before.
I'm starving, I have to eat.
So I feel like more in controlthat I don't really have to eat.
So it's been really cool.
I'm really loving it.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
That's awesome.
Yeah, I really want to try it.
I was talking to a friendyesterday.
We were walking the mall andwhatnot.
He's been doing some fastingyou know from scripture and
things like that and he's gottenup to 10 days or something like
that Quite an extensive periodof time.
And you know obviously easeinto it and he goes into water
and goes into liquids and he'sgot a routine and whatnot.
(06:20):
I would love to try it.
It would definitely beinteresting.
I think my biggest problem isis snacking, which I always find
is kind of funny, because Ithink a lot of people are like
sweets, you know, cheesecake andthis, and I'm like you know, I
kind of like cake candy maybe,but like a bag of chips or chips
or chips and salsa, like I'mdestroying the bag, like that's
(06:43):
the problem, like cake, I don'tknow.
I could skip a pile like I don'treally care.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
But the salt is what you get.
Go for, yeah, some, I don'tknow I well, when I found out
about fasting and you know, withfaith and religion, then it was
like oh wow, well, that's awhole nother level, because I
didn't really do it for that,because I didn't know about it.
But once I learned about that,like I imagine, if anything
crazy were to happen in my lifeagain, I feel that that would be
(07:09):
the first thing I would do isfast for however long I needed
to to get that connection.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Yeah, I always think of, like the ultra marathon
runners.
It's just one of those thingswhere I think back to your point
you're not dying.
I think that we believe wecan't do a lot of things that we
can.
You know, if someone can go outthere and run for 50 miles or
100 miles, like obviously theydo training and things like that
, but just that in itself, youknow that the human body is
capable of way more than webelieve.
(07:38):
So I always kind of reflectback on that.
Even though it's different, butparallel, like you'll make it,
you just keep moving.
Yeah, absolutely on that, eventhough it's different, but
parallel, like you'll make ityou just keep moving.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Yep, absolutely, that's interesting.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
So that's it for the warmup.
I wanted to see if you had anyquestions for me before we start
the interview.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Well, I know you have a couple three kids.
The one is seven, right, howold are the others?
Speaker 1 (07:58):
So two girls and a boy.
It's 11, 10 and seven, so twogirls and then the baby boy.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Wow.
So, yeah, you're in it, I'm init, and so what would be your
you know either.
Well, I guess what would beyour biggest lesson If you could
boil it down to one thing, justto you know, as a dad, like,
what's your thing?
I don't know what's your onething.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
I think the biggest thing would probably be taking a
breath, and maybe that's likeoversimplified and maybe kind of
cheesy, but I feel like if youstop and pause, like that
changes and kind of fixes a lotof different things, like if you
stop and try and figure outwhat just happened or whatever,
and so not like jumping andwhatnot.
I feel like you know, a lot ofus run off emotions and when you
hear the one hit the other oneand you hear them scream and you
(08:47):
want to really jump into it, ifyou just wait and like what
happened and let me hear, and Imean, obviously you're going to
say, they're going to saywhatever they want, and he said,
she said.
But I feel like the pause inalmost every situation and it's
easier said than done, of courselike you want to just kind of
snap to it, but I and it'seasier said than done, of course
like you want to just kind ofsnap to it, but I think that,
like breath, just like wait fora second, you can kind of figure
(09:08):
out what happened and get tothe bottom a little better.
Not all the choices ordecisions are going to be
perfect and you got a coursecorrect, of course, and come
back and be like I didn't reallymean to do that or that went
the wrong way.
But I think, just waiting, youknow kind of waiting for a
second, obviously, if's safetythey're going to run into the
road, you're grabbing them andripping them back, but if it's
something that can be handled, Ithink that's something that's
(09:29):
really difficult for us ispatience, and that's in a lot of
different situations.
But, yeah, just just the breath.
Like explain to me, like whyyou did that, because I know I
want to get frustrated sometimesbecause it just from our eyes,
with all the experience and allthe life that we've lived, it's
like that looks really dumb,like I don't understand why you
would, but like help meunderstand.
Like, oh, I thought this, andlike, okay, so you poured the
(09:52):
milk all over the floor.
You had a reason.
It doesn't make any sense to me, but now I kind of see, like
where you're coming from.
You were trying to do something.
So, yeah, I think, taking thebreath, what do you think?
Does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Oh, I love that.
It totally speaks to me.
It literally happened today.
My Grayson seven-year-oldwanted to mimic the
five-year-old who was pouringwater into these little tiny
plastic play cups.
And then he brought out a plateand did it with the.
He pushed down the water and ofcourse the water went
everywhere.
And I'm like bro, just get abowl, like.
And then he's like you're madat me.
(10:25):
I'm like no, no, no.
So I kind of reacted when Ijust needed to be like what's
going on?
Like do you think a bowl mightbe better, you know?
So, yeah, I love that.
Pause and wait.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
And yeah.
And I think another aspect ofthat is not take anything too
seriously.
I thing too seriously.
I think like, like I said, likeback to safety.
If they're going to run to theroad, of course you got to take
that, but like the messes andwhatnot, like does it really?
I don't know?
Like I've definitely ruinedsome fabric and stained some
tablecloths and our table lookshorrendous and you know we got
to try to cover it up whenpeople come over, but I don't
(10:58):
know, like does it really matter?
I don't know.
I lost my dad when he was 50.
And so he was young and therewas still a lot of things I
wanted to do, and, and so I kindof reflect back on that.
A lot is like life is short, solike if we probably should, but
it's like I don't know whenwe're going to leave or what's
going to happen.
So it's like it's not going towreck anything, I don't really
(11:30):
care too much.
Love that.
So we'll move into your threemain pillars, and your first
pillar is exploring faith andfamily.
How did your faith impact yourperspective and decisions when
you first learned about yourmicro creamy situation?
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Yeah, so we, the little backstory there, like I
said, we met in high school.
It was.
We took everything along, youknow, we were together in a
relationship for a while andengaged for a long time and then
finally got married you know,living life super grateful.
Uh, we traveled all over theworld and did a bunch of things,
(12:09):
had a great bunch of greatexperiences as a couple, you
know, as a married couple.
And then, uh, we ended upmoving to mexico and uh, then it
was wait a minute, we're in 30,31.
Like we should probably maybestart to have kids, you know.
So we tried and it wasn't likea big deal.
(12:29):
We say if we get pregnant, wedo, If not, no big deal, you
know.
But we weren't.
And then that turned into months, into years, and then, you know
, it was like wait a minute, nowwe're getting older, into our
30, like late 30s, Something'sgoing on.
And we got checked out.
Diana, unfortunately, wasproducing less eggs and they
were how do I say less fertile.
I guess that's what they were.
(12:49):
And so when then we were like,well, now we really got to do
something and we started IVF inthe States, which is a whole
experience, it's crazy.
So we did IVF and unfortunatelythat did not work.
So it was a day of implantation.
So she went through the wholethree months or whatever, of the
shots every day and then theeggs just fertilized so we
couldn't put them in hers.
(13:10):
That was devastating, to saythe least.
And then we even went intofoster to adopt kind of
situation, and we got a littlebaby, Eva.
But then we realized that weweren't going to be able to
adopt her.
So five months after we got her, at seven or eight days old
five months we had to give herback to her parents.
(13:31):
So that was just like we'redone, we're out, no more, we're
not even going to try, we'rejust not meant to have kids.
And then the company I workedfor in Mexico the first time,
which is in Puerto Vallarta,they called and said hey, we're
getting the band back together,so to speak.
Do you want to come to Cancunand do the same thing?
And I told Diane I'm like whatdo you think?
Mexico again.
And one of our friends is theacupuncturist for an IVF doctor
(13:54):
in Cancun with a very highsuccess rate.
So Diane was like, look, I'llgo, but I'm going to do IVF
again.
I was like that's on you, babe.
But yeah, let's roll.
So we did it in Cancun.
It was an amazing doctor,amazing facility.
The facility was mostly peoplefrom all over the world
traveling there to do their IVF.
It's like a seventh of the cost.
But she became pregnant.
(14:14):
We were excited.
Everything was going well.
She's high risk because nowwe're 41, 42.
And so she was on bed rest formost of the time and everything
was going well until we hitabout 25.
The way they do it in premium,micro premiums your weeks and
then your days to the next week,you know.
(14:35):
So she was like 25 day, 25,like five.
Okay.
So 25 weeks into it, in fivedays, and her blood pressure
shot up.
She was vomiting and everything.
The doctor said just go to thehospital, I'll meet you there.
They could not get her bloodpressure under control.
So what had happened is shedeveloped severe preeclampsia,
(14:55):
which is really not good.
And they said the doctor's like,look, we have to deliver the
baby to save Diana's life.
And we're like I'm like that'swhere the whole, my whole world
went.
What, how do you?
He cannot fathom or comprehenddelivering the baby without wait
a minute to save her life.
She was admitted that night andthe next.
Our world just flipped upsidedown.
(15:18):
So um V was had to wait to getthese dots to help the baby's
lungs develop, because that's abig, big issue with preemies.
We didn't even know what amicropremie was at that point,
but just a premature baby todevelop their lungs as fast as
possible, and so she did that.
She held out and then they didan emergency C-section,
(15:40):
literally at 26-0.
So it was like the 26-week mark, and then they put Grayson in
the NICU.
He was 12 inches long, 1.6pounds.
It was absolutely insane, and soI'm calling everybody, the moms
, the dads, everybody freakingout.
Her mom and my mom both startedto make their way to Cancun and
(16:05):
then, a day or two later, herbody shut down and she had to be
admitted into the ICU.
It was like my kids in the NICU, my wife's in the ICU.
We're in Mexico, and I feltcompletely helpless.
You know, literally like theother problem that we were
having is that the languagebarriers.
You know, literally, like theother problem that we were
(16:26):
having is that the languagebarriers?
It was at that level.
In Mexico, at the hospitalsnobody speaks English.
And so we were like, could notyou know?
Like I did not understand whatwas happening with my son.
We finally boiled it down tothumbs up or thumbs down as far
as how he's doing moment bymoment, and yeah, it was just
nuts.
And so I remember being in thechapel there.
It's not a chapel like we wouldknow in a typical hospital,
(16:48):
it's like pews and stuff likethat.
It was just a white, sterileroom but it had this soft glow
because the windows were frosted.
But I mean the benches therewas no seats, it was just
benches that were white.
The floor was white, the wallswere white, the furniture was
white, there were thesebeautiful flowers that were very
fragrant.
And I remember just going, man,I don't know what to do.
I'm a very big, I got to be incontrol and know what's going to
(17:11):
happen.
I'm super out of control and Idon't know what's going to
happen.
So I felt helpless, alone allof it, and I remember looking up
in that moment and on the wall,only painting on the wall was
this rustic wood framed withlike gold flecking picture of
Jesus and I was like, oh yeah,hi, I'm not alone, I do have
(17:34):
support in that immediately,cause it was like, hey, god, you
know.
And then it turned into help me, god.
And so that's when I can saythe immediate switch of looking
toward faith to help, causethat's all you have.
And then they keep.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Yeah.
So I wanted to ask.
Earlier you said you knowyou're in your early 30s and
you're transitioning through,you're trying to have the baby
and it feels like everything isjust not working.
So, as you were like goingthrough that and whatnot, you
know how was the Lord is, youknow, so easy to do on paper,
but when things just are notgoing the way you believe
they're supposed to be going,it's just so much harder to rely
(18:16):
back.
So, as you were going throughthose multiple years, how was
the faith in there?
Speaker 2 (18:20):
So that's the problem .
I didn't have it.
I always believed in God and mywife, but my wife believes in
God, but we weren't going tochurch necessarily, maybe every
now and then.
We didn't take it serious, wedidn't have a relationship, and
that's why it's one of thethings I always urge people is
get with God before you need him, because I really think that
that situation would have beenfrom trying to have a baby going
(18:43):
through the IVF, the adoption,and then the next IVF, and then
what happened to us.
I think we would have had astronger foundation in being
faithful that it's all for hispurpose.
So, yeah, I would.
I would like to tell you adifferent thing, but that's the
real.
Real.
We, we had no face.
You know, we didn't even know tolook to face at that point, and
(19:04):
it was that white room with thegold painting.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
There it is.
That's it.
So now you know you have thebaby.
Uh, what role has prayer playedin navigating the challenges of
raising a child with such aunique beginning?
Speaker 2 (19:17):
Yeah, well, his unique beginning turned into a
unique continuation because atthree years old he was diagnosed
with autism.
So now he's navigating theworld as a neurodivergent and it
is.
The struggle is definitely real, but we've we've centered god
in everything we do.
So it's so like god, my wife,my kids, you know, like that's
(19:39):
order for me.
And so when we mean our, oursecond son, nate, he goes to a
christian private school, theschool that we have, grace, and
then is, you know, they're,they're people from first that
created this school and it'sliterally for kids with
developmental issues and specialneeds.
So it's all faith-based.
(19:59):
And, you know, it's amazing tosee your kids.
Like our dog had kennel coughsand my five-year-old was like
you know, we should pray forSlinky and Dinah and I are
looking at each other like duhright got you.
And so here's our five-year-old, you know, teaching us.
But it just shows our corebeliefs are being transitioned
into the kids as well.
It's beautiful and Graysonsings Jesus songs all the time
(20:21):
and he knows certain scriptures.
He's got a memory like crazy.
So it's a beautiful thing andit's everything that we do
everything that we do.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Yeah, it's definitely awesome.
You listen to.
You know the radio or Caleb orAir One or whatnot.
It's always cool and the little, the little kids are singing
off to themselves.
You just kind of hear it aroundthe corner.
Some of the songs.
It's good stuff.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Amazing.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
I'm curious have you seen any, like you know, blatant
acts of God?
You know through some of that,challenges and whatnot with the
neurodiversity and things likethat that allowed you to like
reach out and touch other peopleand things like that you know
through those challenges.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Absolutely.
I think to go back to yourintroduction period when we were
talking is all the things thatyou've been through and the fact
that how can I say this?
I'm trying to get sharing,telling your story, talking
about it.
I think, being vulnerable,which I was never before, I was
(21:21):
always like the macho man I'mnot going to, you know, I'm fine
, I'm fine.
Part of this story is going tolead to that.
But I find that the more I shareand the more I'm vulnerable,
the more people start coming tome.
They're like yeah, I know yourson's autistic.
I have a question Can you nottell anyone?
But I think my son is autistic,like all these things.
(21:41):
People are coming from all overthe place and of course, we sit
and we talk and we listen andwe guide them and say here's
what we did and your life is notover, it's just.
You know now I felt that wayright when he was diagnosed.
I'm like I, you know, how muchmore does this kid have to go
through and what does that meanfor us and all of it?
And so I know where they're at.
(22:03):
Every situation is different,but we're bound by either the
autism or the NICU, you know.
And so there's at least supportin knowing that we're connected
in that way and we're going tohave support for you.
But if I were to go back to theNICU, I lost it.
I was going to say something,but I lost it.
Sorry, go ahead.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
But I think a lot of us had to be in the role of,
like you know, pull yourself up,dust yourself off and things
like that, and you know, show noemotion and whatnot, and the
man is of course, supposed to bestrong and the protector and
provider and things like that.
But at the same time we gothrough things and struggle a
lot.
I know I'm in a leadershipposition at work and so I try to
open up, usually not right offthe bat because that's kind of
(22:49):
freaking everyone out.
I not right off the bat becausethat's kind of freaking
everyone out.
I'm not going to like, I justkind of do the wave tops and
priorities and what I'm you knowslightly about, and then a
couple of months in I talk about, you know, how I lost my dad
and I went through a divorce andI co-parent and you know, one
of my daughters still inVirginia, so I'm in the UK now,
so getting across the ocean andall this, and you know I lost
most of my grandparents at thispoint and I bring all those
(23:10):
things up not to be, you know,negative or whatnot, but
sometimes I feel like, you know,the divide between different
levels of the military is toofar when we're all human.
I'm like I want you to be ableto walk in.
I know we talk about like opendoor policy and always drives me
nuts a little bit, cause I'mlike physically the door is open
but no one is going to talk toyou.
If there's no connection, likeif you're all squared away and
(23:31):
you look perfect, like I don'twant to talk to you.
I don't want to talk to someonewho's perfect, either Like I
don't want someone that maybegot in trouble or you know,
something has happened along theway.
Like if you see them allsquared away, like I'm good,
like the door is open but I'mnot walking in.
So I think that bridge, to beable to connect with people, is
super important A hundredpercent, no question about it.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
And I do remember you're basically.
You're Ted Lasso, by the way.
I don't know if you've seenthat series.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Perfect, I'm okay with that.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
But no, the the moment that, oh my gosh, oh yeah
.
So this is, this is the moment.
This is the moment.
So our friend, when we weredoing we did a Facebook live
back then when we were goingthrough what we were going
through and because we couldn'tget individually, we could not
reach out to every single personthat was reaching out to us.
So my friend did a kind of likean interview about Facebook
(24:20):
Live to answer all the questionsthat people were asking us, and
one of our friends, she saidhey, you should write a book.
This is like so unbelievable,this story.
And the seed was planted.
But there's no way.
In that moment I was evencontemplating that.
But it festered and afterGrayson was home from the
hospital and we would tellpeople our story, like multiple
people were like this should bea book, this should be a movie,
(24:40):
like it's so unbelievable, youknow, transporting him from the
book.
We should write the book.
And so that should turn intosomeday, turned into three years
.
We didn't do anything for threeyears.
But then I was at church and thepastor said have you ever asked
God what he wants you to dowith your life?
(25:01):
And I was like, oh, that'sdifferent.
No, I've always made it aboutwhat I want you know.
And he goes let's do it.
So close your eyes and ask.
So I closed my eyes and it wasimmediate.
I mean it was like boom.
I looked at my wife.
I'm like smiling.
She's like what are you smilingat?
I said write the book, speakabout it and transform lives.
And so I started writing thenext day that, you know, first
(25:28):
word turned into the firstsentence paragraph and so forth.
And now I'm in phase two ofthat, which is speak about it.
And thank you, nate, for thisplatform, because you know I'm
following his word.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
That's awesome.
That's all good stuff, yeah.
So the last question in thepillar of faith and family how
has your family's experiencewith health and nutrition shaped
the way you approach parenting?
Speaker 2 (25:47):
So I think that we were having difficulty having
children and it was so crazy Inthat moment our friend reached
out to us and has this protocolfor a certain cleanse, and so it
was a 10-day cleanse and wesaid, well, let's give it a try
for other reasons, like shewanted to lose weight, I wanted
(26:07):
to just feel better.
And we had done the cleanse andthen we had started working
with these products and takingthese products, both her and I,
and I feel very strongly thatwhen we started learning about
it, educating ourselves onnutrition, eliminating processed
food, reading labels,understanding what dyes do and
(26:27):
you know, just synthetic, justcrazy synthetic vitamins that
don't do anything and all theseother things that we started to
learn about, and then thebenefits of what whole food
nutrition can do for your, foryour body, like literally, it
could, you know in ourexperience, heal it, heal
yourself, you could healyourself through food and
nutrition.
And so you know, we have beenon this protocol for, you know,
(26:49):
years, and that's when we triedto go for the IVF again.
I mean, I had all my superfoodswith me to Mexico, like I had
to like mule them in and stuff,like I had to figure it out, but
we had all these foods that Iwas just pushing down her throat
, you know, like you knowoatgrass and wheatgrass and
spirulina and like all thesedifferent things, and I really
feel that that contributed to usbeing able to even have Grayson
(27:13):
.
But then that transitioned into, I mean, at one year old we
were giving him the green powderin his milk, you know, and
stuff like that, and so in hisbottles and to this day he every
day has a smoothie and it's thesame green powder that we throw
on them.
You know, diet is very, veryimportant for autistic children
(27:38):
specifically, so cutting outgluten and dairy and sugar as
much as possible is.
We saw a drastic turnaroundthere.
But continuing to feed himthese superfoods, I feel, is not
only helped him grow anddevelop, but now we're working
with him to try to eat, becausehe gets stuck on one thing, so
we're trying to get him to eatother things and he's doing it,
(28:00):
and so I think that it's justsuper important to have that
education system with your kids.
My five-year-old always asks isthis healthy?
And we're like well, notnecessarily.
And then, is this healthy?
Yes, he's like okay, like ifyou ask him about McDonald's,
he'll be like well, that's nothealthy.
It's got chemicals, sugars andsalt.
(28:21):
You know it's like they knowall that stuff.
So it's kind of neat and Ithink that you know we're having
fun with it, but also it's youknow educating them on making
the right choices and why youknow.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
So yeah, that's some good stuff.
What would you say if there'slike top three, non-negotiable
or something?
Is there something you eatevery day?
Don't eat every day.
If you had to like, boil itdown to a couple of rules, what
would it be?
Eat whole foods.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
Yeah, yeah, eat whole foods, right, I think, but it's
tough, though, I mean, we'renot like crazy about it, you
know, if they have, you know, Ithink it's more for us educating
them, like saying, okay, thisis healthy and here's why, and
this is not healthy and here'swhy.
And everything's in moderation,you know, because I feel there
was a time where it was like youcan't eat that because it's not
(29:10):
healthy.
You can't eat that because it'snot healthy.
You can't eat that because it'snot healthy, and pretty soon
Nate would go well, I likeunhealthy, and so I was like
crap.
That didn't work.
So now, when we balance it out,it's better for us, and you
know, I think the non-negotiable, though, is we'll limit the
sugar intake as much as possible.
We definitely eliminated dyes,like for sure.
(29:32):
It was the craziest thing I'veever experienced when grayson
especially grayson, our autisticson we had a fever, so you'd
give the kid baby tylenol, right, the cherry flavor one, of
course, and so we, we gave it tohim, and I'm talking.
Minutes later the kid wasbouncing off the walls like
psychotic.
I mean, my wife and I looked ateach other like what in the
hell?
We didn't looked at each otherlike what in the heck?
(29:53):
And we didn't connect this.
We were like what in the heckis happening?
He should be chilling out, youknow.
And so a couple months later,same thing happened and we gave
him the Tylenol and same exactreaction and I started
connecting the dots.
I'm like, wait a minute, it'sthe red dye from the cherry
flavor.
So a couple months later we gotthe dye free one, gave it to
(30:14):
him Super chill, super calm, andso to know that and see how
quickly it affects in, you know,now we can see in Nathan, who's
not autistic, who is like a fewminutes, 20, 30 minutes later,
if for some reason he has itbecause school gave it to him or
some crazy, he isn't he's offthe walls.
(30:34):
So we definitely the no-no isdefinitely dies.
If I had to pick one, and thenthe, the yeses is pretty much
every single day, grayson andNathan pretty much every single
day have their, their smoothie,which is our whole food blend
powders and stuff.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
Okay, there you go.
There's the good and the bad.
The next pillar you have isovercoming challenges.
So what would you say are thebiggest obstacles you faced
during the micro preemie journeyand how did you overcome them?
Speaker 2 (31:03):
I think the biggest hurdle for us was being in
Mexico and not speaking thelanguage.
That was that was massive.
Um, you know, we even hadtranslators come but they didn't
understand NICU words so theycouldn't translate.
You know, like they canliterally translate, but we're
like what does that mean?
And they just couldn't figureit out.
So we had zero communicationother than the thumbs up or
(31:24):
thumbs down.
And that was the scariest partof it all, because the doctor
would bring in a a translator,brought in a translator at one
point and she was translating soliteral and so like fast.
Like there was like a twosecond, three second delay.
And you know, at one point,because it's all so literal and
he I'm sure did not mean to saythis literally, it was to be
(31:46):
with some kind of tooth and likebedside manner, but it was like
pretty much, grace is gonna die, and I was just wait a minute.
What did you just say?
He knew, oh, I'm sorry, and sothat just, of course, then we
couldn't communicate further.
So now it's like, well, wait aminute, what is happening?
And I think the community, howdid we get over it?
Man, we shared our story.
(32:07):
There you go, we went public, wewent live, and from that live
we had NICU nurses from all overthe world personally reach out
to us and say, listen, you know,I'm a NICU nurse in Australia.
He's not positioned the bestway.
If you could have himpositioned this way.
Someone came from California,was like hey, do they have a
proper incubator there?
(32:27):
And I'm like what is that?
You know?
Because he was in an open bedwith saran wrap and a heat lamp
and I just thought, well, I'venever been in a NICU before, so
that's normal, right?
Well, no, there's isolates andproper NICU equipment.
And then my cousin who had beena NICU nurse that I didn't even
know about that a NICU nurse for, you know, almost two decades
she was like if you could movehim to the States, that would be
(32:48):
phenomenal.
And I'm like what do you mean?
How do you even fathom movingthis one and a half pound kid?
And so that then spurredletting people know that it's a
possibility that we're trying tomove him to the States.
And then our friend Roxy.
She said I happen to know aconnection at the international
(33:10):
part of the hospital in Miamiand she's going to call you.
And it was like so crazy howeverything just led to the next.
So I think the way that we wereable to get through it, because
we had so much support wassharing our story, you know not
trying to do it alone.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
Yeah, the Lord helped out there.
It's crazy too.
For the longest time I didn'tout there, it's crazy too.
For the longest time I didn'tknow there was a difference
between a translator and aninterpreter.
I was like, oh, those soundsynonymous, like those are the
same thing.
But you know, being able topick up on idioms or, you know,
actually capture the meaning ofwhat someone's saying versus
like you said, like literaltranslation, like that's one
(33:50):
thing.
Interpret what's actuallyhappening and relay what's
really being said is acompletely different thing.
So it's interesting.
Those words seem like they'd bethe same, but you're much
higher level of being able tounderstand things if you're at
that interpreter level.
Wow.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
I did not know that.
Speaker 1 (34:05):
So thank you, yeah, yeah, translator is like
straight words and interpretslike the meaning and I will give
you what it means.
And they probably wouldn't havesaid like he's going to die,
because that'd be awful, right,exactly, that wouldn't be
capturing the interpretingExactly.
I think interpreters get paidlike twice as much money, which
don't quote me, I have no idea,but I think they are a different
(34:27):
pay scale.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
Usually I think interpreters are from the area.
Like I've lived there and knowlike the slang and things like
that.
Because you're picking up on onsmaller things, interpreters
are actually required to.
Like pick up on body languageto a translator is like straight
words.
An interpreter is going to feelhow the room feels and I only
know that from a few things uh,you know classes and whatnot in
the military.
Like you want to get aninterpreter because they're
(34:50):
going to sense if you're introuble or there's something bad
going on and hey, you got toget out.
Like the translator is justgoing to give you words, not how
the room feels.
But the next question I had foryou was what role has community
played in your family's healingand growth?
It sounded like the Facebooklive went live there.
Even after that was there moreyou know community support in
the growing and things like that.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
A hundred percent.
I mean, it was an incredibleand that's what I get almost
sometimes most emotional aboutis the way that this worldwide
community came together for us,like, who are we, you know?
And it was, it was overwhelming, to say the least.
I mean, we had people that wehave, a dear friend who has a
restaurant in Bucerias, mexico,like if you don't know Vallarta,
(35:33):
you don't definitely don't knowBucerias, you know, and it's
this tiny little town and he hasa restaurant there and he's
sharing our story with one ofhis regulars and the regular
just immediately cut a check for5,000 US dollars, wanting to be
anonymous.
And I'm just like, how doesthis happen?
You know, because it wasmassively costly to have Grayson
(35:56):
in the NICU.
It was a thousand US dollars aday back then.
He needed to be there, itlooked like, for three months.
So just start doing the math.
But then, as we, you know, hadthe again communicated and the
community came together, notonly with prayers, just food.
They would bring us food andbecause I forget to eat, you
(36:16):
know, sleep, what is that?
You know?
40 hours, no problem, I'm good,I'm good, you know.
But but then to be able to havethe connection at the hospital
who then had the connection forthe life flight, but then the
life flight was 20,000, but thenthe Mexico hospital was 20,000.
And then to go to the newhospital needed a $20,000
deposit.
Like, how do you even do this?
(36:37):
Like I can work right, youcan't work when you're going
through this.
I couldn't even figure out myname.
So it was an incredibleoutpouring of community.
That, yes, absolutely continuedbecause we created a private
group for Grayson and we haveabout a thousand people in there
.
They are in there still and doupdates like here's how
(36:58):
Grayson's doing, here's somechallenges we're having, and
they get to pray or give somegreat advice and just always
being supportive.
So he's got like an amazinggroup of people that are
interested in him and his lifeand his development and it's
just it's super helpful for usto have all of that support.
Speaker 1 (37:18):
Yeah, it's crazy how powerful God is.
We, you know, want to try tohandle things ourselves, but
sometimes everything's all linedup.
I remember last year we livedin Mariester, florida, which is
outside of Destin, and so wewere out there in Florida and
there was a guy that went tochurch there and he needed brain
surgery, so something veryspecific and you know, very high
(37:39):
risk and whatnot, and I forgetthe exact details of the story,
so I'm going to butcher a littlebit.
But he went somewhere and endedup bumping into this guy and
he's like, yeah, you know, Ireally need some help, blah,
blah.
The guy ends up being like oneof the like top neurosurgeons,
like in the United States, andlike he's booked out for months.
He's like, oh, just swing byand I'll take a look.
And they did the scan.
They're like, oh, I found it.
(37:59):
And then they lined up thesurgery and like all these
things that should have takenlike months and it just happened
.
He like bumped into this guy.
It's like, oh, perfect, here heis and doing some powerful
things, lining stuff up for forall of us.
So it's good stuff.
The last question I have inthis one is how have you managed
to balance the emotional,physical and spiritual
(38:20):
challenges, while keeping faithat the center.
Speaker 2 (38:23):
From the moment that the pastor asked what God wants
you to do with your life, reallystarted deep diving into the
relationship with God.
And so I just obeyed right.
I wrote the book.
It was not easy.
I'm not a writer, I'm like a Cstudent, you know.
You know a lot of.
You know, just just getting bywith that.
(38:46):
So I'm not the sharpest tool inthe shed, but it was definitely
a way to do what he said and Iput it on paper.
It took 26 months to write, 10months to edit and, you know,
finally got it out there.
But it was a daily.
Help me, you know, I need help,I need help.
But then after that, now it'slike phase two.
I'm doing what he says, I'msharing it and hopefully
(39:09):
transforming lives.
But also now, on the daily,literally this morning, I'm like
, what way do you want me to go?
Because I feel like I'm in thisholding pattern which I'm now
discovering is part of theprocess as well, and so you know
it's just continue.
Do I pause?
Continue, do somethingdifferently, tell me, talk to me
.
So it's been an absolute dailywith me.
(39:30):
Now I'm getting way more into.
I have a daily devotional.
I have my new Bible.
I'm.
You know, I read the Bible in ayear, I did the Bible recap in
a year.
So I think it's it's just forme.
That not knowing what's nextfor me always freaked me out,
but now I feel much more calmabout it's all good.
It's all good as long as I'mjust, you know, taking one step
(39:53):
toward what path he wants me todo.
Then I think I'm okay, I don'thave to know how it's going to
end, I just keep taking dailystrides.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
Yeah, that makes sense.
I think consistency is like asuper big thing we hone in and
we want to talk about motivationand different buzzwords and I'm
sure motivation's you know real, real.
But I think consistency is alot more.
Really, you just got to do thething and keep doing it.
Like motivation kind of comesand goes.
You feel it some days andsometimes you don't, but the
consistency is where it's at.
(40:23):
I closed out the readingthrough the bible this year on
on you version, so that waspretty cool and I'm starting a
new plan now.
So I think, yeah, consistencyright, 100%.
The last pillar for you isliving with purpose and sharing
your story.
So you started to touch on thata little bit.
I'm curious what are somelessons you've learned from your
family's journey that you hopeothers can apply in their lives?
Speaker 2 (40:46):
So that's originally was my idea of writing the book
was to help other NICU parentswas to help other NICU parents
and you know, just when they'rethree in the morning and you got
a NICU mom all alone inhospital going, you know why me,
I'm all alone.
I wanted them to have our storyto you know, to at least have
one family that's been throughsomething similar.
(41:07):
I always say that every NICUstory is different, but we're
bound together by the NICU, youknow.
And so when I got my threethings from God to write the
book, speak About it andTransform Lives I think that it
also like we talked about autism, but also we have, like so many
micro preemie and preemieparents reaching out to me on
(41:29):
social media privately, goinghelp.
You know I'm here.
At this stage I'm like, oh mygosh, I remember just hang on.
I always tell them like, hangon, stay on the ride.
It's the roller coaster, try toget with God as much as you can
.
Take care of yourself, you know, and then also be you're the
parent.
So trust your instincts, trustyour guts.
If you feel like you have aquestion, you have to ask.
(41:50):
I don't care if it's the tophead, doctor, nurse or whatever.
Ask, be the advocate for yourchild, because nobody's going to
advocate like you are as aparent.
Don't second guess yourself.
If you get a question, ask itand don't settle for a generic
answer Like get it until you aresatisfied and then you know
really to look at.
I could not imagine this isanother thing that I got.
(42:13):
I could not imagine taking adollar of profit from this book.
So all net proceeds are goingtoward helping put proper NICU
equipment into Mexican hospitals, because we had a phenomenal
doctor but he was restrictedwith the technology, that he had
Obviously no incubator and soforth.
When the Life Flight doctorsand nurses came they could speak
(42:35):
Spanish and they said he wasfreaking out over the mobile
equipment.
And they're like the mobileequipment.
If he went back to our hospitalhe would really freak out.
You know he was taking videoand pictures because he's never
seen anything like that.
It was their mobile equipment.
I don't know if our book isinstrumental at all in what
happened, but I'm hoping somehowit was that the hospital that
(42:57):
Nate Grayson was born in thatwas in.
Remember Saran Wrap Heat Lamp.
They actually have a properincubator now.
So I'm super, super happy aboutthat.
But then the doctor said but Ineed better monitors.
So, whatever, whatever it is,we're going to try to help make
a difference and save anotherbaby's life, because, man, it's
scary in that NICU.
Speaker 1 (43:17):
So what's the name of the book and what's the you
know?
Quick, one minute rundown ofthe book.
Speaker 2 (43:22):
Yeah.
So it's Breathe, eat Poop andGrow Breathe, eat Poop and Grow.
It's our micro preemie journeyand it takes you literally
through our, you know, goinginto the hospital with
preeclampsia to, you know,taking a life flight to Miami
and all that went into.
It's almost day by day, minuteby minute story about, you know,
(43:44):
hope and faith, and it's amemoir and you know it's it's
something that will be anemotional journey.
I wrote it specifically in thebeginning to help NICU parents,
but we're finding other peoplethat have read it that have not
had an NICU experience, are like, wow, my faith in humanity is
restored, my faith in God isrestored.
(44:05):
If I'm ever going throughanything, I just think, you know
, if Grayson can do it, I can doit.
So it's been a very interestingturn of events as far as where
I thought I was going to beimpacting people, and you know
the fact that we're impactingnot only NICU parents but just
all human beings that read it.
Speaker 1 (44:26):
So I'm super, super grateful for that it's wild to
me too, like sometimes you'llnever know.
There's certain things you doyou smile at someone, you pay
for someone's coffee.
You know we always want tofocus on, like larger things,
but I think a lot of smallthings will happen and we'll
never know.
You will never know Likesomebody will read it, and I
mean you'll, I mean unless theyreach out or, you know, send a
(44:46):
review, and some people do, butwe're all busy running around
doing stuff.
So there's probably a big, youknow, population of people that
listen to you, know the storyhere or read the book, or, and
we'll never know.
That's why, you know, sometimesI get discouraged and I'm tired
and I don't want to edit or Idon't want to jump on, but you
just keep on and, you know, doit consistently, like I
mentioned before, cause youdon't know.
You know, maybe it catchessomeone.
(45:07):
I'll never know, but that'sperfectly okay.
All the time and effort thatwe've put into things like this
is helping people.
So I wanted to ask you, brian aswe talked about a lot of good
stuff all through those threepillars if you could pick one
final takeaway from everythingyou've learned so far, what
would be the final takeaway forpeople out there?
Speaker 2 (45:25):
Get with God before you need him.
Speaker 1 (45:30):
That is a good one.
Speaker 2 (45:31):
Get with God before you need him.
For me, I tried to read theBible many times and I like like
three pages in, I'm like I'mout, I don't understand what's
happening.
So for me it was really nice togo through the Bible recap
through the Bible app, and itwas a nice way to, in a year, go
through the Bible but also,every single day, have a
synopsis of what the heck did.
I just read and through thatexperience alone I feel so much
(45:56):
more calm about the future.
Interesting things happenedthat were unexpected.
I think I reduced my alcoholintake by like 90%, not because
I wanted to, it just kind ofhappened.
I've been able to help otherpeople and, you know, guide them
to the Lord, and I mean it justhappens Like I'm not even
trying.
So my world is certainly turnedupside down in the best way
(46:20):
possible, and so I would justsay, if you don't know him, just
start, get a little dailydevotional, something that takes
a minute a day.
Just find something and getinto it.
Just get into that relationshipwith him.
I also found that wasinteresting is reading through
the Bible.
I'm like you know, ecclesiastes, there's nothing new under the
(46:41):
sun, right?
So I'm going through all ofthese, this Bible, and I'm like
what?
Well, wait a minute, I readthat book.
It's a developmental book.
I went to that seminar.
I didn't.
You know, all of it is stemmingfrom the Bible anyway.
So just go to the one sourceand you're good to go.
You know, like crazy.
Speaker 1 (46:58):
Yeah, and I think the important part is, you know,
trying different things, thatyou said like a couple of pages
and quit, but you got to likekeep trying to find the thing.
Like, me and my wife are bothgoing through the Bible on the
YouVersion app right now andwe're completely different plans
.
I like the one that has thevideos and kind of walks through
different stuff and, you know,has animations and I'm visual
and she likes to read and, likeyou know, more meditate on the
(47:20):
reading that she's reading andso I think you know keep trying
some things and you know there'sa lot of different things.
There's like a milliondifferent study Bibles and you
know footnotes and you knowbeing able to write on the sides
of things and so just try acouple.
I mean, you know, now we all,we all learn differently, we all
absorb information differently.
So if the first one doesn'twork, try a couple of others.
Just so many different ones.
I love the Bible Project.
(47:40):
That's because I'm from outsideof Portland, so I love the guy
two guys there in Portland doingthe Bible Project.
But yeah, I have for you.
I appreciate you coming out,thank you.
Thanks for those final words.
I think those are really good.
Please join the conversation,connect with us on any one of
the many social media platformsthat are out there.
Share your thoughts, questions,insights.
(48:02):
We're building a community andyour voice matters.
I love you all.
See ya, thank you, so Thank you.
Welcome everyone.
I'm Nate Shearer, your host,and this is Mindforce, the
podcast that's all about divinginto love, life and learning.
Here, your mind matters.
Today we have Brian Heilig, andtoday we'll be talking about
God, his micro preemie story,their kids, and health and
nutrition.
So, brian, let's start with thefour W's.
Keep it easy.
Who are you, brian Heilig?
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Pretty easy.
Yeah, pretty easy, right, Igave it easy.
Who are you, brian Eilig?
Pretty easy right, I gave itaway.
I actually grew up in Chicago,born and raised in Chicago, met
my wife in high school 34 yearsago, five years ago, long time
ago.
We're very fortunate to travel,live all over the world, but
also we lived in Mexico, whichis part of our story.
But right now we're currentlyin the Orlando area.
(01:05):
We have two kids and a dognamed Slinky.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Nice, okay, what do you currently do?
Speaker 2 (01:12):
So currently my day job, if you will, I'm a sales
trainer in the timeshareindustry.
Nice yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
And why are you here today?
Speaker 2 (01:23):
So I'm here because I was told to be here, which
we'll get into it to share ourmessage, share our story in
hopes to transform other humanbeings' lives.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
And you said where in the world.
It sounds like Florida, so wegot that one covered.
I really appreciate you comingon the show and I love the
aspect of storytelling.
I think that's really the coreof humans and human connection.
That's how we get throughthings.
I'm active duty military and soI know a lot of times we
struggle with suicides and youknow being isolated and all
these different things and Idon't know what the answer is
(01:57):
because it's such a complexproblem.
But I believe if there was onesolution which there's probably
not one single, but if there wasone solution, which there's
probably not one single, but ifthere was closest to one, it's
stories and connection.
Like when you are at a badplace, you feel like I'm the
only one.
There's no one else that's beenthrough what I've been through,
and hearing a story fromsomeone else like that changes
(02:18):
the entire entire thing.
So I appreciate you coming onand we'll start with the warmup.
What would you say is thedefining moment in your faith
journey?
Speaker 2 (02:25):
And we'll start with the warmup.
What would you say is thedefining moment in your faith
journey?
A hundred percent, when we hadour micro preemie in Mexico.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
no question, not even a little bit.
That's a pretty you're good,pretty straightforward one.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Yeah, I mean just to put it in a little bit more
perspective.
They say that the NICU wallshave heard more prayers than
most churches.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Yeah, I can.
I can definitely imagine You'reat that.
You know a very low point Atthat point.
A lot of people try a lot ofdifferent things.
Absolutely On a lighter note,can you share a funny or
heartwarming story about yourkids?
That always brings a smile toyour face.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Well, my kids are young right now, right, so it's
kind of easy.
They there's seven, grayson'sseven and Nathan is five are
Nate, and I man, I think it'sjust right now they're going
through language like they'rehearing things and then they're
repeating it and I'm like wheredid you get that from?
And it's just so amazing to seethem develop into these little
humans that are speaking beyondtheir age, you know, and that
(03:25):
always is always something, orthe thing that really gets me
and we're in that stage rightnow is, you know, daddy, come
play with me, I just dropeverything and go.
Yeah, let's go.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Yeah, it is pretty funny though, Vocabulary.
Today my son was askingdifferent terms and whatnot.
He just turned seven.
He was trying to get us todefine transition and I and I'm
like I know what it means.
But there's like certain onesyou're like how do you?
You go from one thing toanother.
He's like what do you mean?
I'm like you change from one toanother.
I like transition, I I don'tknow.
There it's tough, we know, butuh, getting it through to him is
(03:59):
a little bit different.
But yeah, it is hilarious.
I was trying to think I had a,a line, but I just can't think
of what it is.
But there was something he wassaying the other day.
I'm like it's not a crazy word,but it's just a word that just
doesn't match.
You know the seven year old.
You're like why are you usingthat?
Like right.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Where did you get that from?
Speaker 1 (04:17):
Very interesting.
And then the last warm upquestion what's one health or
nutrition habit you've recentlyadopted that has made a
difference in your family's life?
Speaker 2 (04:27):
I've recently been very into intermittent fasting.
This worked extremely well.
So how it's helped my family inthis situation.
Example today I still haven'teaten yet, but I've definitely
got the kids breakfast together,the kids lunch together, you
know, and I'm more free to focuson them and be with them.
I made my wife's breakfast, youknow.
(04:48):
So all of that I've been mealprepping, so I've been doing a
lot today as far as food andcooking, but haven't eaten yet.
So it seems to free up time forthem.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
So what's your schedule?
What's your cutoff for yourintermittent?
Speaker 2 (05:02):
So on a typical day it's seven to one.
So what?
Eight hours, no six hour window, 18 fasting, I think that's it.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
It's 18 hours.
I have this app Fasty, so Ijust you know it tells me what
would you say is the hardestpart of fasting and the biggest
benefit.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
The hardest part is getting to the 18 hours.
You know, I started with 16hours and then pushed it and now
it's like 18 is fairly easy.
I did 23 hours the other day,22 hours the other day, but I
think that would be the mostdifficult thing.
And just just knowing thatyou're really not starving like
you're going to make it, and thebenefits oh my gosh.
Yeah, definitely weight control.
(05:44):
Clear your mind the foodaddiction that I tended to have
before.
I'm starving, I have to eat.
So I feel like more in controlthat I don't really have to eat.
So it's been really cool.
I'm really loving it.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
That's awesome.
Yeah, I really want to try it.
I was talking to a friendyesterday.
We were walking the mall andwhatnot.
He's been doing some fastingyou know from scripture and
things like that and he's gottenup to 10 days or something like
that Quite an extensive periodof time.
And you know obviously easeinto it and he goes into water
and goes into liquids and he'sgot a routine and whatnot.
(06:20):
I would love to try it.
It would definitely beinteresting.
I think my biggest problem isis snacking, which I always find
is kind of funny, because Ithink a lot of people are like
sweets, you know, cheesecake andthis, and I'm like you know, I
kind of like cake candy maybe,but like a bag of chips or chips
or chips and salsa, like I'mdestroying the bag, like that's
(06:43):
the problem, like cake, I don'tknow.
I could skip a pile like I don'treally care.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
But the salt is what you get.
Go for, yeah, some, I don'tknow I well, when I found out
about fasting and you know, withfaith and religion, then it was
like oh wow, well, that's awhole nother level, because I
didn't really do it for that,because I didn't know about it.
But once I learned about that,like I imagine, if anything
crazy were to happen in my lifeagain, I feel that that would be
(07:09):
the first thing I would do isfast for however long I needed
to to get that connection.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Yeah, I always think of, like the ultra marathon
runners.
It's just one of those thingswhere I think back to your point
you're not dying.
I think that we believe wecan't do a lot of things that we
can.
You know, if someone can go outthere and run for 50 miles or
100 miles, like obviously theydo training and things like that
, but just that in itself, youknow that the human body is
capable of way more than webelieve.
(07:38):
So I always kind of reflectback on that.
Even though it's different, butparallel, like you'll make it,
you just keep moving.
Yeah, absolutely on that, eventhough it's different, but
parallel, like you'll make ityou just keep moving.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
Yep, absolutely, that's interesting.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
So that's it for the warmup.
I wanted to see if you had anyquestions for me before we start
the interview.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Well, I know you have a couple three kids.
The one is seven, right, howold are the others?
Speaker 1 (07:58):
So two girls and a boy.
It's 11, 10 and seven, so twogirls and then the baby boy.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Wow.
So, yeah, you're in it, I'm init, and so what would be your
you know either.
Well, I guess what would beyour biggest lesson If you could
boil it down to one thing, justto you know, as a dad, like,
what's your thing?
I don't know what's your onething.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
I think the biggest thing would probably be taking a
breath, and maybe that's likeoversimplified and maybe kind of
cheesy, but I feel like if youstop and pause, like that
changes and kind of fixes a lotof different things, like if you
stop and try and figure outwhat just happened or whatever,
and so not like jumping andwhatnot.
I feel like you know, a lot ofus run off emotions and when you
hear the one hit the other oneand you hear them scream and you
(08:47):
want to really jump into it, ifyou just wait and like what
happened and let me hear, and Imean, obviously you're going to
say, they're going to saywhatever they want, and he said,
she said.
But I feel like the pause inalmost every situation and it's
easier said than done, of courselike you want to just kind of
snap to it, but I and it'seasier said than done, of course
like you want to just kind ofsnap to it, but I think that,
like breath, just like wait fora second, you can kind of figure
(09:08):
out what happened and get tothe bottom a little better.
Not all the choices ordecisions are going to be
perfect and you got a coursecorrect, of course, and come
back and be like I didn't reallymean to do that or that went
the wrong way.
But I think, just waiting, youknow kind of waiting for a
second, obviously, if's safetythey're going to run into the
road, you're grabbing them andripping them back, but if it's
something that can be handled, Ithink that's something that's
(09:29):
really difficult for us ispatience, and that's in a lot of
different situations.
But, yeah, just just the breath.
Like explain to me, like whyyou did that, because I know I
want to get frustrated sometimesbecause it just from our eyes,
with all the experience and allthe life that we've lived, it's
like that looks really dumb,like I don't understand why you
would, but like help meunderstand.
Like, oh, I thought this, andlike, okay, so you poured the
(09:52):
milk all over the floor.
You had a reason.
It doesn't make any sense to me, but now I kind of see, like
where you're coming from.
You were trying to do something.
So, yeah, I think, taking thebreath, what do you think?
Does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Oh, I love that.
It totally speaks to me.
It literally happened today.
My Grayson seven-year-oldwanted to mimic the
five-year-old who was pouringwater into these little tiny
plastic play cups.
And then he brought out a plateand did it with the.
He pushed down the water and ofcourse the water went
everywhere.
And I'm like bro, just get abowl, like.
And then he's like you're madat me.
(10:25):
I'm like no, no, no.
So I kind of reacted when Ijust needed to be like what's
going on?
Like do you think a bowl mightbe better, you know?
So, yeah, I love that.
Pause and wait.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
And yeah.
And I think another aspect ofthat is not take anything too
seriously.
I thing too seriously.
I think like, like I said, likeback to safety.
If they're going to run to theroad, of course you got to take
that, but like the messes andwhatnot, like does it really?
I don't know?
Like I've definitely ruinedsome fabric and stained some
tablecloths and our table lookshorrendous and you know we got
to try to cover it up whenpeople come over, but I don't
(10:58):
know, like does it really matter?
I don't know.
I lost my dad when he was 50.
And so he was young and therewas still a lot of things I
wanted to do, and, and so I kindof reflect back on that.
A lot is like life is short, solike if we probably should, but
it's like I don't know whenwe're going to leave or what's
going to happen.
So it's like it's not going towreck anything, I don't really
(11:30):
care too much.
Love that.
So we'll move into your threemain pillars, and your first
pillar is exploring faith andfamily.
How did your faith impact yourperspective and decisions when
you first learned about yourmicro creamy situation?
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Yeah, so we, the little backstory there, like I
said, we met in high school.
It was.
We took everything along, youknow, we were together in a
relationship for a while andengaged for a long time and then
finally got married you know,living life super grateful.
Uh, we traveled all over theworld and did a bunch of things,
(12:09):
had a great bunch of greatexperiences as a couple, you
know, as a married couple.
And then, uh, we ended upmoving to mexico and uh, then it
was wait a minute, we're in 30,31.
Like we should probably maybestart to have kids, you know.
So we tried and it wasn't likea big deal.
(12:29):
We say if we get pregnant, wedo, If not, no big deal, you
know.
But we weren't.
And then that turned into months, into years, and then, you know
, it was like wait a minute, nowwe're getting older, into our
30, like late 30s, Something'sgoing on.
And we got checked out.
Diana, unfortunately, wasproducing less eggs and they
were how do I say less fertile.
I guess that's what they were.
(12:49):
And so when then we were like,well, now we really got to do
something and we started IVF inthe States, which is a whole
experience, it's crazy.
So we did IVF and unfortunatelythat did not work.
So it was a day of implantation.
So she went through the wholethree months or whatever, of the
shots every day and then theeggs just fertilized so we
couldn't put them in hers.
(13:10):
That was devastating, to saythe least.
And then we even went intofoster to adopt kind of
situation, and we got a littlebaby, Eva.
But then we realized that weweren't going to be able to
adopt her.
So five months after we got her, at seven or eight days old
five months we had to give herback to her parents.
(13:31):
So that was just like we'redone, we're out, no more, we're
not even going to try, we'rejust not meant to have kids.
And then the company I workedfor in Mexico the first time,
which is in Puerto Vallarta,they called and said hey, we're
getting the band back together,so to speak.
Do you want to come to Cancunand do the same thing?
And I told Diane I'm like whatdo you think?
Mexico again.
And one of our friends is theacupuncturist for an IVF doctor
(13:54):
in Cancun with a very highsuccess rate.
So Diane was like, look, I'llgo, but I'm going to do IVF
again.
I was like that's on you, babe.
But yeah, let's roll.
So we did it in Cancun.
It was an amazing doctor,amazing facility.
The facility was mostly peoplefrom all over the world
traveling there to do their IVF.
It's like a seventh of the cost.
But she became pregnant.
(14:14):
We were excited.
Everything was going well.
She's high risk because nowwe're 41, 42.
And so she was on bed rest formost of the time and everything
was going well until we hitabout 25.
The way they do it in premium,micro premiums your weeks and
then your days to the next week,you know.
(14:35):
So she was like 25 day, 25,like five.
Okay.
So 25 weeks into it, in fivedays, and her blood pressure
shot up.
She was vomiting and everything.
The doctor said just go to thehospital, I'll meet you there.
They could not get her bloodpressure under control.
So what had happened is shedeveloped severe preeclampsia,
(14:55):
which is really not good.
And they said the doctor's like,look, we have to deliver the
baby to save Diana's life.
And we're like I'm like that'swhere the whole, my whole world
went.
What, how do you?
He cannot fathom or comprehenddelivering the baby without wait
a minute to save her life.
She was admitted that night andthe next.
Our world just flipped upsidedown.
(15:18):
So um V was had to wait to getthese dots to help the baby's
lungs develop, because that's abig, big issue with preemies.
We didn't even know what amicropremie was at that point,
but just a premature baby todevelop their lungs as fast as
possible, and so she did that.
She held out and then they didan emergency C-section,
(15:40):
literally at 26-0.
So it was like the 26-week mark, and then they put Grayson in
the NICU.
He was 12 inches long, 1.6pounds.
It was absolutely insane, and soI'm calling everybody, the moms
, the dads, everybody freakingout.
Her mom and my mom both startedto make their way to Cancun and
(16:05):
then, a day or two later, herbody shut down and she had to be
admitted into the ICU.
It was like my kids in the NICU, my wife's in the ICU.
We're in Mexico, and I feltcompletely helpless.
You know, literally like theother problem that we were
having is that the languagebarriers.
You know, literally, like theother problem that we were
(16:26):
having is that the languagebarriers?
It was at that level.
In Mexico, at the hospitalsnobody speaks English.
And so we were like, could notyou know?
Like I did not understand whatwas happening with my son.
We finally boiled it down tothumbs up or thumbs down as far
as how he's doing moment bymoment, and yeah, it was just
nuts.
And so I remember being in thechapel there.
It's not a chapel like we wouldknow in a typical hospital,
(16:48):
it's like pews and stuff likethat.
It was just a white, sterileroom but it had this soft glow
because the windows were frosted.
But I mean the benches therewas no seats, it was just
benches that were white.
The floor was white, the wallswere white, the furniture was
white, there were thesebeautiful flowers that were very
fragrant.
And I remember just going, man,I don't know what to do.
I'm a very big, I got to be incontrol and know what's going to
(17:11):
happen.
I'm super out of control and Idon't know what's going to
happen.
So I felt helpless, alone allof it, and I remember looking up
in that moment and on the wall,only painting on the wall was
this rustic wood framed withlike gold flecking picture of
Jesus and I was like, oh yeah,hi, I'm not alone, I do have
(17:34):
support in that immediately,cause it was like, hey, god, you
know.
And then it turned into help me, god.
And so that's when I can saythe immediate switch of looking
toward faith to help, causethat's all you have.
And then they keep.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Yeah.
So I wanted to ask.
Earlier you said you knowyou're in your early 30s and
you're transitioning through,you're trying to have the baby
and it feels like everything isjust not working.
So, as you were like goingthrough that and whatnot, you
know how was the Lord is, youknow, so easy to do on paper,
but when things just are notgoing the way you believe
they're supposed to be going,it's just so much harder to rely
(18:16):
back.
So, as you were going throughthose multiple years, how was
the faith in there?
Speaker 2 (18:20):
So that's the problem .
I didn't have it.
I always believed in God and mywife, but my wife believes in
God, but we weren't going tochurch necessarily, maybe every
now and then.
We didn't take it serious, wedidn't have a relationship, and
that's why it's one of thethings I always urge people is
get with God before you need him, because I really think that
that situation would have beenfrom trying to have a baby going
(18:43):
through the IVF, the adoption,and then the next IVF, and then
what happened to us.
I think we would have had astronger foundation in being
faithful that it's all for hispurpose.
So, yeah, I would.
I would like to tell you adifferent thing, but that's the
real.
Real.
We, we had no face.
You know, we didn't even know tolook to face at that point, and
(19:04):
it was that white room with thegold painting.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
There it is.
That's it.
So now you know you have thebaby.
Uh, what role has prayer playedin navigating the challenges of
raising a child with such aunique beginning?
Speaker 2 (19:17):
Yeah, well, his unique beginning turned into a
unique continuation because atthree years old he was diagnosed
with autism.
So now he's navigating theworld as a neurodivergent and it
is.
The struggle is definitely real, but we've we've centered god
in everything we do.
So it's so like god, my wife,my kids, you know, like that's
(19:39):
order for me.
And so when we mean our, oursecond son, nate, he goes to a
christian private school, theschool that we have, grace, and
then is, you know, they're,they're people from first that
created this school and it'sliterally for kids with
developmental issues and specialneeds.
So it's all faith-based.
(19:59):
And, you know, it's amazing tosee your kids.
Like our dog had kennel coughsand my five-year-old was like
you know, we should pray forSlinky and Dinah and I are
looking at each other like duhright got you.
And so here's our five-year-old, you know, teaching us.
But it just shows our corebeliefs are being transitioned
into the kids as well.
It's beautiful and Graysonsings Jesus songs all the time
(20:21):
and he knows certain scriptures.
He's got a memory like crazy.
So it's a beautiful thing andit's everything that we do
everything that we do.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Yeah, it's definitely awesome.
You listen to.
You know the radio or Caleb orAir One or whatnot.
It's always cool and the little, the little kids are singing
off to themselves.
You just kind of hear it aroundthe corner.
Some of the songs.
It's good stuff.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Amazing.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
I'm curious have you seen any, like you know, blatant
acts of God?
You know through some of that,challenges and whatnot with the
neurodiversity and things likethat that allowed you to like
reach out and touch other peopleand things like that you know
through those challenges.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Absolutely.
I think to go back to yourintroduction period when we were
talking is all the things thatyou've been through and the fact
that how can I say this?
I'm trying to get sharing,telling your story, talking
about it.
I think, being vulnerable,which I was never before, I was
(21:21):
always like the macho man I'mnot going to, you know, I'm fine
, I'm fine.
Part of this story is going tolead to that.
But I find that the more I shareand the more I'm vulnerable,
the more people start coming tome.
They're like yeah, I know yourson's autistic.
I have a question Can you nottell anyone?
But I think my son is autistic,like all these things.
(21:41):
People are coming from all overthe place and of course, we sit
and we talk and we listen andwe guide them and say here's
what we did and your life is notover, it's just.
You know now I felt that wayright when he was diagnosed.
I'm like I, you know, how muchmore does this kid have to go
through and what does that meanfor us and all of it?
And so I know where they're at.
(22:03):
Every situation is different,but we're bound by either the
autism or the NICU, you know.
And so there's at least supportin knowing that we're connected
in that way and we're going tohave support for you.
But if I were to go back to theNICU, I lost it.
I was going to say something,but I lost it.
Sorry, go ahead.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
But I think a lot of us had to be in the role of,
like you know, pull yourself up,dust yourself off and things
like that, and you know, show noemotion and whatnot, and the
man is of course, supposed to bestrong and the protector and
provider and things like that.
But at the same time we gothrough things and struggle a
lot.
I know I'm in a leadershipposition at work and so I try to
open up, usually not right offthe bat because that's kind of
(22:49):
freaking everyone out.
I not right off the bat becausethat's kind of freaking
everyone out.
I'm not going to like, I justkind of do the wave tops and
priorities and what I'm you knowslightly about, and then a
couple of months in I talk about, you know, how I lost my dad
and I went through a divorce andI co-parent and you know, one
of my daughters still inVirginia, so I'm in the UK now,
so getting across the ocean andall this, and you know I lost
most of my grandparents at thispoint and I bring all those
(23:10):
things up not to be, you know,negative or whatnot, but
sometimes I feel like, you know,the divide between different
levels of the military is toofar when we're all human.
I'm like I want you to be ableto walk in.
I know we talk about like opendoor policy and always drives me
nuts a little bit, cause I'mlike physically the door is open
but no one is going to talk toyou.
If there's no connection, likeif you're all squared away and
(23:31):
you look perfect, like I don'twant to talk to you.
I don't want to talk to someonewho's perfect, either Like I
don't want someone that maybegot in trouble or you know,
something has happened along theway.
Like if you see them allsquared away, like I'm good,
like the door is open but I'mnot walking in.
So I think that bridge, to beable to connect with people, is
super important A hundredpercent, no question about it.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
And I do remember you're basically.
You're Ted Lasso, by the way.
I don't know if you've seenthat series.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Perfect, I'm okay with that.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
But no, the the moment that, oh my gosh, oh yeah
.
So this is, this is the moment.
This is the moment.
So our friend, when we weredoing we did a Facebook live
back then when we were goingthrough what we were going
through and because we couldn'tget individually, we could not
reach out to every single personthat was reaching out to us.
So my friend did a kind of likean interview about Facebook
(24:20):
Live to answer all the questionsthat people were asking us, and
one of our friends, she saidhey, you should write a book.
This is like so unbelievable,this story.
And the seed was planted.
But there's no way.
In that moment I was evencontemplating that.
But it festered and afterGrayson was home from the
hospital and we would tellpeople our story, like multiple
people were like this should bea book, this should be a movie,
(24:40):
like it's so unbelievable, youknow, transporting him from the
book.
We should write the book.
And so that should turn intosomeday, turned into three years
.
We didn't do anything for threeyears.
But then I was at church and thepastor said have you ever asked
God what he wants you to dowith your life?
(25:01):
And I was like, oh, that'sdifferent.
No, I've always made it aboutwhat I want you know.
And he goes let's do it.
So close your eyes and ask.
So I closed my eyes and it wasimmediate.
I mean it was like boom.
I looked at my wife.
I'm like smiling.
She's like what are you smilingat?
I said write the book, speakabout it and transform lives.
And so I started writing thenext day that, you know, first
(25:28):
word turned into the firstsentence paragraph and so forth.
And now I'm in phase two ofthat, which is speak about it.
And thank you, nate, for thisplatform, because you know I'm
following his word.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
That's awesome.
That's all good stuff, yeah.
So the last question in thepillar of faith and family how
has your family's experiencewith health and nutrition shaped
the way you approach parenting?
Speaker 2 (25:47):
So I think that we were having difficulty having
children and it was so crazy Inthat moment our friend reached
out to us and has this protocolfor a certain cleanse, and so it
was a 10-day cleanse and wesaid, well, let's give it a try
for other reasons, like shewanted to lose weight, I wanted
(26:07):
to just feel better.
And we had done the cleanse andthen we had started working
with these products and takingthese products, both her and I,
and I feel very strongly thatwhen we started learning about
it, educating ourselves onnutrition, eliminating processed
food, reading labels,understanding what dyes do and
(26:27):
you know, just synthetic, justcrazy synthetic vitamins that
don't do anything and all theseother things that we started to
learn about, and then thebenefits of what whole food
nutrition can do for your, foryour body, like literally, it
could, you know in ourexperience, heal it, heal
yourself, you could healyourself through food and
nutrition.
And so you know, we have beenon this protocol for, you know,
(26:49):
years, and that's when we triedto go for the IVF again.
I mean, I had all my superfoodswith me to Mexico, like I had
to like mule them in and stuff,like I had to figure it out, but
we had all these foods that Iwas just pushing down her throat
, you know, like you knowoatgrass and wheatgrass and
spirulina and like all thesedifferent things, and I really
feel that that contributed to usbeing able to even have Grayson
(27:13):
.
But then that transitioned into, I mean, at one year old we
were giving him the green powderin his milk, you know, and
stuff like that, and so in hisbottles and to this day he every
day has a smoothie and it's thesame green powder that we throw
on them.
You know, diet is very, veryimportant for autistic children
(27:38):
specifically, so cutting outgluten and dairy and sugar as
much as possible is.
We saw a drastic turnaroundthere.
But continuing to feed himthese superfoods, I feel, is not
only helped him grow anddevelop, but now we're working
with him to try to eat, becausehe gets stuck on one thing, so
we're trying to get him to eatother things and he's doing it,
(28:00):
and so I think that it's justsuper important to have that
education system with your kids.
My five-year-old always asks isthis healthy?
And we're like well, notnecessarily.
And then, is this healthy?
Yes, he's like okay, like ifyou ask him about McDonald's,
he'll be like well, that's nothealthy.
It's got chemicals, sugars andsalt.
(28:21):
You know it's like they knowall that stuff.
So it's kind of neat and Ithink that you know we're having
fun with it, but also it's youknow educating them on making
the right choices and why youknow.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
So yeah, that's some good stuff.
What would you say if there'slike top three, non-negotiable
or something?
Is there something you eatevery day?
Don't eat every day.
If you had to like, boil itdown to a couple of rules, what
would it be?
Eat whole foods.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
Yeah, yeah, eat whole foods, right, I think, but it's
tough, though, I mean, we'renot like crazy about it, you
know, if they have, you know, Ithink it's more for us educating
them, like saying, okay, thisis healthy and here's why, and
this is not healthy and here'swhy.
And everything's in moderation,you know, because I feel there
was a time where it was like youcan't eat that because it's not
(29:10):
healthy.
You can't eat that because it'snot healthy.
You can't eat that because it'snot healthy, and pretty soon
Nate would go well, I likeunhealthy, and so I was like
crap.
That didn't work.
So now, when we balance it out,it's better for us, and you
know, I think the non-negotiable, though, is we'll limit the
sugar intake as much as possible.
We definitely eliminated dyes,like for sure.
(29:32):
It was the craziest thing I'veever experienced when grayson
especially grayson, our autisticson we had a fever, so you'd
give the kid baby tylenol, right, the cherry flavor one, of
course, and so we, we gave it tohim, and I'm talking.
Minutes later the kid wasbouncing off the walls like
psychotic.
I mean, my wife and I looked ateach other like what in the
hell?
We didn't looked at each otherlike what in the heck?
(29:53):
And we didn't connect this.
We were like what in the heckis happening?
He should be chilling out, youknow.
And so a couple months later,same thing happened and we gave
him the Tylenol and same exactreaction and I started
connecting the dots.
I'm like, wait a minute, it'sthe red dye from the cherry
flavor.
So a couple months later we gotthe dye free one, gave it to
(30:14):
him Super chill, super calm, andso to know that and see how
quickly it affects in, you know,now we can see in Nathan, who's
not autistic, who is like a fewminutes, 20, 30 minutes later,
if for some reason he has itbecause school gave it to him or
some crazy, he isn't he's offthe walls.
(30:34):
So we definitely the no-no isdefinitely dies.
If I had to pick one, and thenthe, the yeses is pretty much
every single day, grayson andNathan pretty much every single
day have their, their smoothie,which is our whole food blend
powders and stuff.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
Okay, there you go.
There's the good and the bad.
The next pillar you have isovercoming challenges.
So what would you say are thebiggest obstacles you faced
during the micro preemie journeyand how did you overcome them?
Speaker 2 (31:03):
I think the biggest hurdle for us was being in
Mexico and not speaking thelanguage.
That was that was massive.
Um, you know, we even hadtranslators come but they didn't
understand NICU words so theycouldn't translate.
You know, like they canliterally translate, but we're
like what does that mean?
And they just couldn't figureit out.
So we had zero communicationother than the thumbs up or
(31:24):
thumbs down.
And that was the scariest partof it all, because the doctor
would bring in a a translator,brought in a translator at one
point and she was translating soliteral and so like fast.
Like there was like a twosecond, three second delay.
And you know, at one point,because it's all so literal and
he I'm sure did not mean to saythis literally, it was to be
(31:46):
with some kind of tooth and likebedside manner, but it was like
pretty much, grace is gonna die, and I was just wait a minute.
What did you just say?
He knew, oh, I'm sorry, and sothat just, of course, then we
couldn't communicate further.
So now it's like, well, wait aminute, what is happening?
And I think the community, howdid we get over it?
Man, we shared our story.
(32:07):
There you go, we went public, wewent live, and from that live
we had NICU nurses from all overthe world personally reach out
to us and say, listen, you know,I'm a NICU nurse in Australia.
He's not positioned the bestway.
If you could have himpositioned this way.
Someone came from California,was like hey, do they have a
proper incubator there?
(32:27):
And I'm like what is that?
You know?
Because he was in an open bedwith saran wrap and a heat lamp
and I just thought, well, I'venever been in a NICU before, so
that's normal, right?
Well, no, there's isolates andproper NICU equipment.
And then my cousin who had beena NICU nurse that I didn't even
know about that a NICU nurse for, you know, almost two decades
she was like if you could movehim to the States, that would be
(32:48):
phenomenal.
And I'm like what do you mean?
How do you even fathom movingthis one and a half pound kid?
And so that then spurredletting people know that it's a
possibility that we're trying tomove him to the States.
And then our friend Roxy.
She said I happen to know aconnection at the international
(33:10):
part of the hospital in Miamiand she's going to call you.
And it was like so crazy howeverything just led to the next.
So I think the way that we wereable to get through it, because
we had so much support wassharing our story, you know not
trying to do it alone.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
Yeah, the Lord helped out there.
It's crazy too.
For the longest time I didn'tout there, it's crazy too.
For the longest time I didn'tknow there was a difference
between a translator and aninterpreter.
I was like, oh, those soundsynonymous, like those are the
same thing.
But you know, being able topick up on idioms or, you know,
actually capture the meaning ofwhat someone's saying versus
like you said, like literaltranslation, like that's one
(33:50):
thing.
Interpret what's actuallyhappening and relay what's
really being said is acompletely different thing.
So it's interesting.
Those words seem like they'd bethe same, but you're much
higher level of being able tounderstand things if you're at
that interpreter level.
Wow.
Speaker 2 (34:04):
I did not know that.
Speaker 1 (34:05):
So thank you, yeah, yeah, translator is like
straight words and interpretslike the meaning and I will give
you what it means.
And they probably wouldn't havesaid like he's going to die,
because that'd be awful, right,exactly, that wouldn't be
capturing the interpretingExactly.
I think interpreters get paidlike twice as much money, which
don't quote me, I have no idea,but I think they are a different
(34:27):
pay scale.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
Usually I think interpreters are from the area.
Like I've lived there and knowlike the slang and things like
that.
Because you're picking up on onsmaller things, interpreters
are actually required to.
Like pick up on body languageto a translator is like straight
words.
An interpreter is going to feelhow the room feels and I only
know that from a few things uh,you know classes and whatnot in
the military.
Like you want to get aninterpreter because they're
(34:50):
going to sense if you're introuble or there's something bad
going on and hey, you got toget out.
Like the translator is justgoing to give you words, not how
the room feels.
But the next question I had foryou was what role has community
played in your family's healingand growth?
It sounded like the Facebooklive went live there.
Even after that was there moreyou know community support in
the growing and things like that.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
A hundred percent.
I mean, it was an incredibleand that's what I get almost
sometimes most emotional aboutis the way that this worldwide
community came together for us,like, who are we, you know?
And it was, it was overwhelming, to say the least.
I mean, we had people that wehave, a dear friend who has a
restaurant in Bucerias, mexico,like if you don't know Vallarta,
(35:33):
you don't definitely don't knowBucerias, you know, and it's
this tiny little town and he hasa restaurant there and he's
sharing our story with one ofhis regulars and the regular
just immediately cut a check for5,000 US dollars, wanting to be
anonymous.
And I'm just like, how doesthis happen?
You know, because it wasmassively costly to have Grayson
(35:56):
in the NICU.
It was a thousand US dollars aday back then.
He needed to be there, itlooked like, for three months.
So just start doing the math.
But then, as we, you know, hadthe again communicated and the
community came together, notonly with prayers, just food.
They would bring us food andbecause I forget to eat, you
(36:16):
know, sleep, what is that?
You know?
40 hours, no problem, I'm good,I'm good, you know.
But but then to be able to havethe connection at the hospital
who then had the connection forthe life flight, but then the
life flight was 20,000, but thenthe Mexico hospital was 20,000.
And then to go to the newhospital needed a $20,000
deposit.
Like, how do you even do this?
(36:37):
Like I can work right, youcan't work when you're going
through this.
I couldn't even figure out myname.
So it was an incredibleoutpouring of community.
That, yes, absolutely continuedbecause we created a private
group for Grayson and we haveabout a thousand people in there
.
They are in there still and doupdates like here's how
(36:58):
Grayson's doing, here's somechallenges we're having, and
they get to pray or give somegreat advice and just always
being supportive.
So he's got like an amazinggroup of people that are
interested in him and his lifeand his development and it's
just it's super helpful for usto have all of that support.
Speaker 1 (37:18):
Yeah, it's crazy how powerful God is.
We, you know, want to try tohandle things ourselves, but
sometimes everything's all linedup.
I remember last year we livedin Mariester, florida, which is
outside of Destin, and so wewere out there in Florida and
there was a guy that went tochurch there and he needed brain
surgery, so something veryspecific and you know, very high
(37:39):
risk and whatnot, and I forgetthe exact details of the story,
so I'm going to butcher a littlebit.
But he went somewhere and endedup bumping into this guy and
he's like, yeah, you know, Ireally need some help, blah,
blah.
The guy ends up being like oneof the like top neurosurgeons,
like in the United States, andlike he's booked out for months.
He's like, oh, just swing byand I'll take a look.
And they did the scan.
They're like, oh, I found it.
(37:59):
And then they lined up thesurgery and like all these
things that should have takenlike months and it just happened
.
He like bumped into this guy.
It's like, oh, perfect, here heis and doing some powerful
things, lining stuff up for forall of us.
So it's good stuff.
The last question I have inthis one is how have you managed
to balance the emotional,physical and spiritual
(38:20):
challenges, while keeping faithat the center.
Speaker 2 (38:23):
From the moment that the pastor asked what God wants
you to do with your life, reallystarted deep diving into the
relationship with God.
And so I just obeyed right.
I wrote the book.
It was not easy.
I'm not a writer, I'm like a Cstudent, you know.
You know a lot of.
You know, just just getting bywith that.
(38:46):
So I'm not the sharpest tool inthe shed, but it was definitely
a way to do what he said and Iput it on paper.
It took 26 months to write, 10months to edit and, you know,
finally got it out there.
But it was a daily.
Help me, you know, I need help,I need help.
But then after that, now it'slike phase two.
I'm doing what he says, I'msharing it and hopefully
(39:09):
transforming lives.
But also now, on the daily,literally this morning, I'm like
, what way do you want me to go?
Because I feel like I'm in thisholding pattern which I'm now
discovering is part of theprocess as well, and so you know
it's just continue.
Do I pause?
Continue, do somethingdifferently, tell me, talk to me
.
So it's been an absolute dailywith me.
(39:30):
Now I'm getting way more into.
I have a daily devotional.
I have my new Bible.
I'm.
You know, I read the Bible in ayear, I did the Bible recap in
a year.
So I think it's it's just forme.
That not knowing what's nextfor me always freaked me out,
but now I feel much more calmabout it's all good.
It's all good as long as I'mjust, you know, taking one step
(39:53):
toward what path he wants me todo.
Then I think I'm okay, I don'thave to know how it's going to
end, I just keep taking dailystrides.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
Yeah, that makes sense.
I think consistency is like asuper big thing we hone in and
we want to talk about motivationand different buzzwords and I'm
sure motivation's you know real, real.
But I think consistency is alot more.
Really, you just got to do thething and keep doing it.
Like motivation kind of comesand goes.
You feel it some days andsometimes you don't, but the
consistency is where it's at.
(40:23):
I closed out the readingthrough the bible this year on
on you version, so that waspretty cool and I'm starting a
new plan now.
So I think, yeah, consistencyright, 100%.
The last pillar for you isliving with purpose and sharing
your story.
So you started to touch on thata little bit.
I'm curious what are somelessons you've learned from your
family's journey that you hopeothers can apply in their lives?
Speaker 2 (40:46):
So that's originally was my idea of writing the book
was to help other NICU parentswas to help other NICU parents
and you know, just when they'rethree in the morning and you got
a NICU mom all alone inhospital going, you know why me,
I'm all alone.
I wanted them to have our storyto you know, to at least have
one family that's been throughsomething similar.
(41:07):
I always say that every NICUstory is different, but we're
bound together by the NICU, youknow.
And so when I got my threethings from God to write the
book, speak About it andTransform Lives I think that it
also like we talked about autism, but also we have, like so many
micro preemie and preemieparents reaching out to me on
(41:29):
social media privately, goinghelp.
You know I'm here.
At this stage I'm like, oh mygosh, I remember just hang on.
I always tell them like, hangon, stay on the ride.
It's the roller coaster, try toget with God as much as you can
.
Take care of yourself, you know, and then also be you're the
parent.
So trust your instincts, trustyour guts.
If you feel like you have aquestion, you have to ask.
(41:50):
I don't care if it's the tophead, doctor, nurse or whatever.
Ask, be the advocate for yourchild, because nobody's going to
advocate like you are as aparent.
Don't second guess yourself.
If you get a question, ask itand don't settle for a generic
answer Like get it until you aresatisfied and then you know
really to look at.
I could not imagine this isanother thing that I got.
(42:13):
I could not imagine taking adollar of profit from this book.
So all net proceeds are goingtoward helping put proper NICU
equipment into Mexican hospitals, because we had a phenomenal
doctor but he was restrictedwith the technology, that he had
Obviously no incubator and soforth.
When the Life Flight doctorsand nurses came they could speak
(42:35):
Spanish and they said he wasfreaking out over the mobile
equipment.
And they're like the mobileequipment.
If he went back to our hospitalhe would really freak out.
You know he was taking videoand pictures because he's never
seen anything like that.
It was their mobile equipment.
I don't know if our book isinstrumental at all in what
happened, but I'm hoping somehowit was that the hospital that
(42:57):
Nate Grayson was born in thatwas in.
Remember Saran Wrap Heat Lamp.
They actually have a properincubator now.
So I'm super, super happy aboutthat.
But then the doctor said but Ineed better monitors.
So, whatever, whatever it is,we're going to try to help make
a difference and save anotherbaby's life, because, man, it's
scary in that NICU.
Speaker 1 (43:17):
So what's the name of the book and what's the you
know?
Quick, one minute rundown ofthe book.
Speaker 2 (43:22):
Yeah.
So it's Breathe, eat Poop andGrow Breathe, eat Poop and Grow.
It's our micro preemie journeyand it takes you literally
through our, you know, goinginto the hospital with
preeclampsia to, you know,taking a life flight to Miami
and all that went into.
It's almost day by day, minuteby minute story about, you know,
(43:44):
hope and faith, and it's amemoir and you know it's it's
something that will be anemotional journey.
I wrote it specifically in thebeginning to help NICU parents,
but we're finding other peoplethat have read it that have not
had an NICU experience, are like, wow, my faith in humanity is
restored, my faith in God isrestored.
(44:05):
If I'm ever going throughanything, I just think, you know
, if Grayson can do it, I can doit.
So it's been a very interestingturn of events as far as where
I thought I was going to beimpacting people, and you know
the fact that we're impactingnot only NICU parents but just
all human beings that read it.
Speaker 1 (44:26):
So I'm super, super grateful for that it's wild to
me too, like sometimes you'llnever know.
There's certain things you doyou smile at someone, you pay
for someone's coffee.
You know we always want tofocus on, like larger things,
but I think a lot of smallthings will happen and we'll
never know.
You will never know Likesomebody will read it, and I
mean you'll, I mean unless theyreach out or, you know, send a
(44:46):
review, and some people do, butwe're all busy running around
doing stuff.
So there's probably a big, youknow, population of people that
listen to you, know the storyhere or read the book, or, and
we'll never know.
That's why, you know, sometimesI get discouraged and I'm tired
and I don't want to edit or Idon't want to jump on, but you
just keep on and, you know, doit consistently, like I
mentioned before, cause youdon't know.
You know, maybe it catchessomeone.
(45:07):
I'll never know, but that'sperfectly okay.
All the time and effort thatwe've put into things like this
is helping people.
So I wanted to ask you, brian aswe talked about a lot of good
stuff all through those threepillars if you could pick one
final takeaway from everythingyou've learned so far, what
would be the final takeaway forpeople out there?
Speaker 2 (45:25):
Get with God before you need him.
Speaker 1 (45:30):
That is a good one.
Speaker 2 (45:31):
Get with God before you need him.
For me, I tried to read theBible many times and I like like
three pages in, I'm like I'mout, I don't understand what's
happening.
So for me it was really nice togo through the Bible recap
through the Bible app, and itwas a nice way to, in a year, go
through the Bible but also,every single day, have a
synopsis of what the heck did.
I just read and through thatexperience alone I feel so much
(45:56):
more calm about the future.
Interesting things happenedthat were unexpected.
I think I reduced my alcoholintake by like 90%, not because
I wanted to, it just kind ofhappened.
I've been able to help otherpeople and, you know, guide them
to the Lord, and I mean it justhappens Like I'm not even
trying.
So my world is certainly turnedupside down in the best way
(46:20):
possible, and so I would justsay, if you don't know him, just
start, get a little dailydevotional, something that takes
a minute a day.
Just find something and getinto it.
Just get into that relationshipwith him.
I also found that wasinteresting is reading through
the Bible.
I'm like you know, ecclesiastes, there's nothing new under the
(46:41):
sun, right?
So I'm going through all ofthese, this Bible, and I'm like
what?
Well, wait a minute, I readthat book.
It's a developmental book.
I went to that seminar.
I didn't.
You know, all of it is stemmingfrom the Bible anyway.
So just go to the one sourceand you're good to go.
You know, like crazy.
Speaker 1 (46:58):
Yeah, and I think the important part is, you know,
trying different things, thatyou said like a couple of pages
and quit, but you got to likekeep trying to find the thing.
Like, me and my wife are bothgoing through the Bible on the
YouVersion app right now andwe're completely different plans
.
I like the one that has thevideos and kind of walks through
different stuff and, you know,has animations and I'm visual
and she likes to read and, likeyou know, more meditate on the
(47:20):
reading that she's reading andso I think you know keep trying
some things and you know there'sa lot of different things.
There's like a milliondifferent study Bibles and you
know footnotes and you knowbeing able to write on the sides
of things and so just try acouple.
I mean, you know, now we all,we all learn differently, we all
absorb information differently.
So if the first one doesn'twork, try a couple of others.
Just so many different ones.
I love the Bible Project.
(47:40):
That's because I'm from outsideof Portland, so I love the guy
two guys there in Portland doingthe Bible Project.
But yeah, I have for you.
I appreciate you coming out,thank you.
Thanks for those final words.
I think those are really good.
Please join the conversation,connect with us on any one of
the many social media platformsthat are out there.
Share your thoughts, questions,insights.
(48:02):
We're building a community andyour voice matters.
I love you all.
See ya, thank you, so Thank you.
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