April 30, 2025 • 43 mins
I would love to hear from you!
Sharon Riddle shares how adopting a stoic mindset has transformed her approach to entrepreneurship, parenting, and personal challenges, emphasizing the power of focusing only on what we can control.
• Transitioning to entrepreneurship after 9/11 due to economic uncertainty in the aerospace industry
• Developing marketing skills outside her comfort zone as a numbers-driven analyst
• Navigating real estate investment challenges during the 2008 housing crisis
• Finding opportunity in property fires through insurance-funded modernization
• Evolving from parent to accountability partner with her thriving adult daughter
• Creating meaningful memories instead of material possessions
• Practicing daily meditation, affirmations, and gratitude rituals
• Using stoic principles to manage health challenges including Lyme disease
• Setting SMART goals: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound
• Taking pauses to reset mentally and emotionally when facing difficulties
"One takeaway: Always assess where you're growing, where you're going, and what outcomes you want. Find the tools and techniques to help you get there, especially in your thoughts and words. Don't be harsh with others, and don't be harsh with yourself."
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Hi everyone, I'm Nate Shear, your host, and you're
tuned in to Mindforce, thepodcast that explores love, life
and learning, because your mindtruly matters.
Today we have Sharon Riddle andtoday we'll be talking about
entrepreneurship, being the momof a thriving adult daughter and
having a stoic mindset, orhaving that mental resilience.
So, sharon, we're going tostart with the easy stuff, the
(00:45):
four W's.
Who are you?
Speaker 2 (00:48):
I am Sharon Riddle.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Pretty easy right.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
What do you do?
I am an entrepreneur and Iwould call myself more of a real
estate guide.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Okay, and why are you here?
Speaker 2 (01:03):
I am here because mindset is very vital for life
and business.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
And where in the world are you from?
I am from the great state ofDenton, texas, well, of Texas,
but I am in Denton, which isnorth central Texas.
For those of you who reallywant to figure out where in the
world I am in Texas.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Denton, Texas.
There you go.
Yeah, it's always fun living indifferent places.
I'm currently in the UK rightnow, and so trying to explain
people that you can drive acrossthe middle of Texas for 14
hours and still be in Texas iskind of mind blowing for anyone
that's British or in Europe.
It's pretty fun to watch theirheads explode.
Or I lived in California for awhile and same thing, I think 13
or 14 hours up California andyou're still in California.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
And you're still in the same state.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Yeah, it's always funny Like you never travel.
Well, we travel it.
Just you know it takes a lotlonger to get anywhere.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
That's why Texans are so attached to their vehicles?
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Absolutely, you need them.
You got to be able to getplaces, so we'll start with the
warm up.
Sharon, what inspired yourentrepreneurial journey and how
has it shaped your life?
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Well, what inspired and it's kind of an unusual
situation is 9-11 was kind of acatalyst.
So 9-11 here in America and partof that is because my business
partner and spouse is inaerospace, so at the time he
worked for Boeing in a plant inCorinth he does really A lot of
(02:34):
people don't realize that Took abig hit, went down, and I was
also at the time working for atransit company, dallas Area
(02:54):
Rapid Transit very dependent ona formula, federal formula as
well as a tax formula, so salestax, and so I believed it was
just a matter of time beforethere was going to be a layoff.
I mean, just I was in more of afinancial or business analyst
role and so I just think interms of numbers I'm like, okay,
(03:17):
the clock is ticking here, andso that was really the catalyst.
I mean it didn't freak us outdoing that.
We felt we had some skill setto do that.
We sought out some coaches andwe had been doing that for a
little bit.
And then I came from anentrepreneurial family, you know
, wearing a lot of hats, runninga business.
(03:40):
I had seen that modeled in myparents' home, in the home of my
aunts and uncles, as well as mychildhood neighbor who owned
the only toy store in Denton,texas.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
So you saw the upcoming change and got on board
and shifted over with thatchange.
That's good stuff.
I had a question what's onepiece of advice you'd share with
your daughter that reflectsyour own life philosophies?
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Well, the mindset you can create anything.
Got the right mindset becauseit's going to.
You're going to put yourself inan emotionally resilient place,
you're going to take inspiredaction and you're going to be a
creator and you're going tocreate something purposeful.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Yeah, that's, that's powerful stuff.
I think perspective is superimportant.
You have, you know, the victimmentality where you could, you
know, really, you know, go intodarkness and things like that
because you're not given theright hand, or you know your
family life isn't great, orthings like that, or you use it
to, you know, propel yourselfand get into change and try
something new.
You can have the exact samething happen to different people
(04:50):
and, depending on how they lookat it and you know how they use
that, they really change thingsaround for the better or for
the worse.
So having the mindset like yousaid, I think, is super
important.
And the last question of thewarmup is if you could sum up
the essence of a stoic mindsetin a single sentence, what would
it be?
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Resilience is the way .
Speaker 1 (05:09):
Resilience is the way .
Yeah, can you unpack resilienceor not?
Sorry, not resilience, butstoicism a little bit.
I think you know a lot ofpeople believe it means that you
have no emotion and you'reemotionless and kind of has I've
seen in certain situations andcertain people, kind of has a
negative connotation.
But how you know, if you had togive an elevator speech on what
(05:31):
stoic is, how would youdescribe it?
Speaker 2 (05:34):
I would say well, it's not a new thing, because
Marcus Aurelius wrote hismeditation on that and he didn't
even create stoicism, he had ateacher, a coach, that created
it.
He just wrote things down, andso we have a guide to go by
because of his meditations.
But I will also say that it'sreally important to have, and
(05:56):
it's important to think about,controllables versus
uncontrollables, and that isreally very core to Marcus
Aurelius' belief and what hewrites about in his meditations,
because he was an emperor king,supposedly, according to some
historians, one of the goodkings.
So he utilized that philosophynot only in ruling the Roman
(06:22):
Empire, but also in his familylife as well.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Yeah, it's funny how you know timing comes together.
I read the Daily Stoic everymorning.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
I do too.
I get the email, you get theemail.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Yeah, and this morning was controllable.
So that's really funny saying,if you're worrying about all
these things and you're using upall the mind, you know, power
and all those things, it'sreally easy.
You just narrow it down to thethings that you can control, and
that's not not that far, it'sjust the things within your,
within your brain, within yourmind, even your health it
mentioned like even your healthyou can't control.
(06:56):
So you could worry about yourphysical body all you want, but
you could come down with illnessor different things could
happen.
So really all you have is thatone thing, just your mind, and
that's all you need to worryabout.
So it's a powerful one forJanuary 13.
But, yeah, I wanted to see ifyou had any questions for me,
sharon.
Well, one of the questions, oneof the things that has been top
(07:17):
of my head is what are your mind, what are your yeah, I think
I've struggled throughout mylife with certain things and I
think one of them that's kind ofdifficult for me is I'm the
happy-go-lucky guy and I lovebeing the happy-go-lucky guy.
But I think sometimes that getsportrayed or is seen
differently from the outside andso a lot of times I feel like
(07:38):
people think I don't care orthings like that.
But I kind of focus on likewhat you said is the
controllables, like if I can'tdo anything, if I can't control
it, if I can't fix it, like I'mnot going to let it impact me or
really take me down for thatparticular day.
I lost my dad when he was 50.
So he was still pretty youngand you know lost him to lung
(07:59):
cancer and didn't smoke and so alot of things seem unfair and
lost too early and things likethat.
So I've always been relativelyhappy and you know things like
that.
But I feel like losing himearly and seeing you know him
not being able to do the thingsthat he wanted to do really kind
of solidified that in my life,where there's not going to be
anything that's going to take,you know the joy from my day.
(08:19):
If it's like a, you know, minorinconvenience, there are larger
things that have happened, ofcourse, but I try not to let any
of the smaller things take thattime.
I think there's that referencewhere it talks about all the
seconds in the day.
If you let one thing, like youknow, ruin it, are you going to
give away all the rest of thattime?
Because I think it refers toseconds as in money Like you
wouldn't give away the rest ofyour money just because you had
(08:42):
a bad hour or whatnot.
Give away the rest of yourmoney just because you had a bad
hour or whatnot.
I definitely try to stay withinthe stoicism and things like
that and trying to focus on thethings that I can control and
not letting anything reallybring me down too much and maybe
I process and bottle on theinside a little bit, so that's
probably not healthy, but Idefinitely try to focus on the
things that I can control.
So there are things that impactme and affect me, but outwardly
(09:04):
I feel like a lot of times Ilook pretty happy.
What do you think about that?
How does that fit in there?
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Well, I'm kind of the contrast, because I'm kind of
like, more serious, you'retrying to add levity, and my
business partner, who is also myspouse, does that too, so he's
trying to inject some levity ina situation that's a little more
serious, and I am probably morewhat my mother would term me.
When I was a child.
(09:33):
She called me her Vulcan child.
So I'm just, you know, kind ofgetting into the seriousness,
and so I have I actually have towork for more levity so, and
what I try to do is have reallymore resilience in my mindset
and emotions, so then I caninterject joy into the day, and
(09:55):
so that's one of the things thatI really do work on and pause
and say where is the joy I'mputting in this day.
So I'm kind of on the oppositeside of that equation.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
I think it's a good reminder to their spectrums on
everything, and neither of themare right and neither of them
are wrong.
You know, they're justdifferent.
So I try to, you know, balanceout and try and be serious when
I'm supposed to be serious andyou're trying to bring a little
bit more fun and joy into things.
And so I think being aware ofwhere we are is probably the
most important.
Not that any of them are betteror worse than the other, but
(10:29):
just knowing, like, where youfit and how you can, you know,
adjust the situation, and everysituation is different, right,
know your audience, you knowwhat venue or whatever event
you're at.
Maybe it causes you, know you,to go one direction or another,
but yeah, I think that's a goodreminder.
You know different ends, butyou just got to know where
you're sitting so you can takecare of what you need to.
Well, we're going to move intoyour three main pillars.
(10:51):
So the first one isentrepreneurship.
I want to know what motivatedyou to take that leap.
We started to talk about it alittle bit, but what lessons
have you learned along the way?
Speaker 2 (11:26):
no-transcript.
That actually was a mastermindmentor who kept talking about
e-books you need an e-book, youneed an e-book.
And then, of course, mymarketing team you need an
e-book, you need an e-book.
And so finally, you know, we'rein editing mode regarding the
(11:48):
real estate e-book and in someways, I guess they kind of wore
me down, but it was necessary,it's critical, and one of the
things that I've also learned inentrepreneurship is to listen
to your marketing team and ifyou've been a really data-driven
, numbers-driven man or womanlike me, marketing doesn't have
(12:08):
to be a totally black box andyou don't have to be fearful of
it, because for the longest time, that's what I would tell my
marketing team.
I'd say, yeah, marketing issuch a black box for me.
You know that.
You know because my wholetraining, you know because my
whole training, my MBA, my jobsprior to my company job in real
estate or financial analysis, orI was a senior business analyst
(12:32):
.
So marketing is like that waslike the woo-woo stuff for me.
I'm like.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
So how do you work on something where you have that
certain specialty or expertise?
How do you become, like, morewell-rounded or get to
understand the other side alittle bit more?
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Well, I have to seek out people who are subject
matter experts and see mymarketing team.
They are the marketing expertsand I listen to them and now
they've got me thinking ofmarketing a whole lot.
So, especially when I'm on twobi-monthly calls with two
different masterminds but withone of the masterminds, you know
(13:12):
, they talk about marketing agreat deal, and so I'm always
bringing these other ideas tothem and they're like oh well,
you know, marketing was, youwere talking about it being such
a black box, and now you'rebringing all these different
ideas.
And that's where thecollaboration has kind of come,
because I have been seeking outmore education and more ideas,
(13:34):
more creativity in the marketingquadrant.
That we put that on YouTube Notjust all the podcasts, but kind
of what has been a challengingpoint for me and put that out
there on YouTube.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
Yeah, that makes sense.
It reminds me.
One of my favorite books isFierce Conversations by Susan
Scott, and she talks about thebeach ball method, or beach ball
theory, where the differentcolors of the beach ball I got
the red and the green and theblue and she tries to figure out
ways to get everyone to playtogether and do things well,
because if you're on the blueside of it and you look down,
(14:16):
that's marketing, that you lookthrough everything through, and
so everything seems blue, andthen the finance department or
whatever is standing on red, andso they're talking through that
specific lens, and sometimesthe two sides can't get to an
agreement because they're soused to.
They need to be able to stepout and maybe stand on the red
or the green or whatever it is.
(14:37):
That's a little bit differentfrom where they normally stand,
or they're just always gonnathink of it from that one
dimension.
So that's a really good point toget out and absorb stuff from
other other people andespecially, like you said,
subject matter experts, likethey do that all the time.
Let them do the thing that theydo and you can focus on other
things or, you know, bringdifferent ideas and try and
generate some other ideas.
(14:58):
That's, that's all really goodstuff.
Throughout your your journey ofentrepreneurship, what do you
think is like the biggest,biggest flop that you wish you
could redo?
Is there one that just standsout?
Speaker 2 (15:12):
Well, I will say that mostly in the single family
home arena, we didn't have asuper big flop, but we did have
a property that we thought wasgoing to be a flip.
However, market conditionschanged and so this was, you
(15:33):
know, around more of the2008-2009 time frame, and so
there were some properties thatended up going distressed in
this neighborhood in northeastArlington in Texas, and a home
investor came in and bought ahouse.
Well, that immediately loweredthe comparable sales which
(15:56):
affected our property that wehad acquired.
We had acquired, so we had tochange our buy box for that
property, or our buying,actually our selling strategy,
(16:17):
our exit, and so we had to be alandlord for that property
versus just selling it.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
Yeah, that makes sense.
Can you share a pivotal momentin your business journey that's
really tested your resilience.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
I will say, when we were in the single family home
business and 2008,.
2009 came around and there wasjust more of this crunch.
So banks didn't really want toloan money.
Even some of the communitybanks didn't want to loan money
(16:50):
on real estate investments money.
Even some of the communitybanks didn't want to loan money
on real estate investments.
Well, I had had in my backpocket the name of a coach who
would coach people on workingwith private lenders.
He was nationally known, beendoing it for a long time, and so
we went to Alan Calgill's bootcamp in San Antonio to learn how
to have that skill.
(17:10):
All of a sudden, we were makingmoney for one of my neighbors
who's a nurse.
We're making money for a friendwho was a computer science
person and a project lead.
We're making money for a personwho is a former banker, because
they could come in and be ourprivate lenders and we already
(17:32):
had a real estate attorney soshe could create promise summary
notes, so we could make otherpeople money.
And that was our firstopportunity to make other people
money.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
That is a pivotal moment.
How do you balance the demandsof entrepreneurship with your
personal life and values?
Speaker 2 (17:54):
entrepreneurship with your personal life and values.
Well, it's challenging.
I mean it really is, and I willsay that quite often my
thriving adult daughter haspointed out to me that I spend a
lot of time on business.
You know, I spend a lot of timeon business, so I have to be
super mindful of squeezing inmore personal time or more fun
(18:15):
activities.
Like I'm an opera lover, sogoing to the Dallas Opera, so
doing some things like that, andalso interjecting in some other
things.
That a speaker that I'd heardmany years ago that runs his own
camp, a coaching camp, jesseItzler.
He's also married to SarahBlakely, who created Spanx.
(18:38):
For you ladies out there, youknow what Spanx are, but anyway
that you have some things thatkind of are life-defining events
.
He calls them Kevin's Rules.
So you're just doing somethingthat you would never consider
doing.
It's just, but you do it, andyou do it with somebody else, or
you do it with your children.
(18:58):
You know you, you go out thereand it's, it's the best thing
you've done in your life.
It ends up being the best thingyou've done in your life and it
is a a life memory, it's a lifeevent and you have one of those
, at least one of those everyyear.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Yeah, that's a good way to do it.
I really align with that and Iwant to get more towards that.
I know that we just closed outChristmas.
That's one thing that I thinkwe really want to, and we'd love
to shift over to getting rid ofthe toys and you know all the
hard plastic that just sitsaround and they don't really
want to, and we'd love to shiftover to getting rid of the toys
and you know all the hardplastic that just sits around
and they don't really care aboutand trying to shift it over
(19:36):
towards more events and andmemories that go along with that
.
This year we moved over to theuk and so we were able to do the
polar express.
So there's an old steam trainand it takes you around and they
have like the fake north poleand things like that, and Santa
comes on and gives out thesilver bell from his sleigh and
it's a great time.
(19:57):
There was a hot chocolate andcookies and a lot of good things
, and I'd really like to shifttowards that.
Well, hopefully they'llremember, you know, the singing
and the dancing and the fun theyhad versus these, you know
these toys that just kind of sitaround.
It's kind of even funny too,too, because last year my son
(20:18):
was so into dinosaurs so we gotall these dinosaurs and they
make noise and they're all cooland whatnot.
And this year he's into pokemonso he wanted to basically donate
all the dinosaurs that he justgot last year.
So it was kind of funny andkind of reinforcing this thing
where it's like they don'treally care about them that much
the next year.
He's like we try to downsizeand get rid of some stuff before
we get into Christmas so thatwe can.
You know, we try to tell themto donate stuff and let other
(20:39):
kids play with the toys, so wetry to fill up a bag or two and
take that in before we get intoChristmas, and so we try to do
that.
He's like I'll just give awayall the dinos and I'm like those
are brand new, they gotbatteries and they light up and
all that.
So just kind of funny.
But yeah, I totally resonatewith that.
That's awesome that you knowpeople are shifting more towards
making memories.
I think that's what's important.
Life's only so long and youknow life's pretty short, so we
(21:01):
should enjoy the memories thatwe can, which I think really.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
In fact we did that the last two years with my, with
my daughter.
She lives in Washington DC.
She has lived there for sixyears, and so we just pack up
everything and we spend a week.
We're not there.
On top of her, we are in ahotel of our choice and we do
bring the laptop.
But you know, we just kind ofshut everything down and we're
just with them and we go tomuseums, whatever they decide to
do.
This year we went to a Messiahsing-along at the Kennedy Center
(21:38):
.
I would consider that kind of aKevin's rule kind of thing.
Haven't done that before.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Yeah, that's glorious .
I remember the first time Ivisited DC I think it was a
couple of years ago and I justwas there in the beginning of
December it always blows my mindthat the whole capital what do
they call the National Mall isall free.
That's just crazy.
To me, growing up in California, everything costs money, and so
I remember the first time Iwalked through the Smithsonian
(22:05):
and I was trying to find theticket booth.
I thought for sure.
I was like, oh, where's the?
How do I, how do I pay?
And they're like oh, you'regood, it's like what?
It must be taxes or something.
But the National Mall is prettycool, pretty great to walk
around.
This last time I went throughthe one of aerospace with all
the airplanes.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Well, the aerospace is great.
Yeah, dan has to go.
He's gone there more than onetime.
He'll go there again.
And then there's another greataerospace museum that's over at
Dulles in Virginia, and so we'vebeen over there too.
So you know, you got to hitthose because he's in aerospace
and so you know, going tomuseums or air shows that kind
(22:46):
of just comes with the territorybeing his spouse and business
partner.
So we've seen some cool planes.
We've seen some cool planes flyin that are vintage planes.
We've seen a V-22 Osprey fly inand Dan had to go over and talk
to the flight crew.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Yeah, that's what I have stationed out.
With me is the CV-20.
And when it shifts fromairplane to helicopter it's just
one of those things.
I've seen it a bunch of timesand every time you just kind of
have to watch it just shift.
Tilt rotor.
Yeah, it's a bizarre thing, butthe next pillar we have which I
think this is a good transitionis being the mom of a thriving
adult daughter.
So we talked about making someof those memories with her, and
(23:26):
so what does it mean to you tosee your daughter thriving as an
adult?
Speaker 2 (23:33):
And how did you support that growth?
Well, I will say it really iswonderful seeing her thrive and
we actually kind of transitionedour relationship when she got
out of high school, so she waskind of on her own.
She decided to go to universityout of state.
So she went to the Universityof Denver Beautiful place,
wonderful university.
She was 12 hours away.
To go to university out ofstate.
So she went to the Universityof Denver beautiful place,
wonderful university, she was 12hours away.
(23:55):
And so she actually called memore.
So, you know, for social events,you know what do I do, what do
I wear, you know how do youthink I need to handle this
situation?
So those things kind of startedcropping up during that time
and it really hasn't changed thewhole time.
But I will say, one of thethings that she and I kind of
(24:20):
really work on a great dealmindset.
She is a consultant and ofcourse I'm a business owner, but
we we really both work on our,our mindset, with different
techniques, different ways, butwe're always sharing those tips.
It's kind of like tips andtechniques.
So we share that between thetwo of us.
So it really feels great.
(24:41):
It gives me a lot of joy toreally see her thriving.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
That's good stuff.
So you said you know as highschool and as an adult you know
you guys kind of bonded oversome of those things.
But what are some lessons fromparenting influence how you
approach challenges in businessand life.
Were there things that youtaught her earlier on in life
that kind of set her up on thattrajectory?
Speaker 2 (25:03):
Well, I did teach her to be flexible and I really
work at being flexible, and oneof the instances, way back when
she was in Montessori school,required all of us to be really
flexible.
It was a science project, so alot of parents are going to love
this.
So we were going to the sciencefair and Nora and her science
project partner decided thatthey wanted to experiment and
(25:27):
raise Painted Lady butterflies.
We had to go have a.
We had to find a vendor to getthe larvae raise them up.
Well, we had like threedifferent lots.
We had to go through the firsttwo.
The larvae died Different,totally different reasons,
totally different reasons.
So we had to kind of getthrough the whole process, but
each time we determined what theproblem was with.
(25:48):
I was actually talking to thefield biologist and so we were
diagnosing what was going on andso they would send us these
different lots.
And then finally, they sent usthe mature Penelope butterfly
larvae, successfully raised them, conducted the experiment.
Yay, we went through the wholescientific method and on the
outcome, they got an award atthe science fair nice, you never
(26:13):
thought you would you got to beflexible?
I guess you really have to beresilient too yeah, you never
thought you would have beentroubleshooting.
Uh, butterflies, I never youknow, you never learned that
going through an mba program.
I can tell you that uh, orparenting.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Parenting is so funny to me.
People always, like, when theyhave their first baby, come to
you.
You know I have like three kidsand so it's like what's the tip
?
Like I don't know there's.
There's no handbook really.
I mean, there's been plenty ofbooks written but you just try
to keep them alive for like 18years and then you have to find
out if you did okay or not.
I don't know if there's reallyyou know.
Just crazy to me it's like youknow, wrap the baby, don't wrap
(26:51):
the baby, it's good for it, it'sbad for it.
And then the next year it'sgood for it again.
I don't know.
Like, eat chocolate, don't eatchocolate.
Red wine's good.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Well, not for babies, but for us it's not good, it's
like geez we can't figure outwhat's going on well, I think,
in each step, in each, you dohave to be observational, you
really have to be observationand adjust like maybe that's the
most difficult part.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
People want the a, a, b, c.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
You know this like nice roadmap they want the
playbook, and sometimes youdon't have a playbook or you
need to throw the playbooks outthat everybody's been giving you
.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
Yeah, I definitely think that's true, because
timelines always drove me nuts.
You know, the walking, thetalking.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
Everyone wants it to be yeah, all the milestones.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
It has to be, you know, 12 months, months, 18
months, I'm like.
Some of them are like 24 topotty train or whatever, and
some are six months.
Sometimes they just get it andsometimes they don't.
But it doesn't really meananything.
You just got to wait for thenext thing, like you said, the
next step, and then that I'lllevel out with the last one or
whatever.
But it is funny when people tryto get hung up on certain
things like that.
One thing I love on the show isstories.
I think that's the best waythat we, you know, pass down
(27:59):
information from generation togeneration.
So can you share a story of aproud moment that reminded you
why resilience and mindsetmatter in raising children?
Speaker 2 (28:10):
Well, I do have a couple that I'm going to share
today, a couple yay.
Well, of course, nora'sgraduation from the University
of Denver very proud moment forus all.
We were there and cheering heron, everybody together in the
auditorium, even though she wasannoyed that only the
engineering students had theirnames on the jumbotron.
(28:30):
We got over that, moved beyondthat.
And then another proud momentis when I was at a mastermind
event in Dallas with some of mymastermind people and I was
having lunch with a couple ofwomen and we all have adult
daughters.
One of them is a physician andthe other one is an engineer and
we were talking about havingthriving daughters and what joy
(28:54):
that gave us.
Well, one of the moms who's anengineer, her daughter hadn't
quite graduated, she's gettingan engineering degree and
culturally she was just kind ofa little with the daughter.
And here both of us moms arecheering the other friend on,
(29:15):
saying you know, you can do that.
I think you need to just loosenup a little bit.
You know you're an engineer,your daughter's an engineer, you
know.
And then you know, she told uswell, all Indian mothers have to
be tough on their children andwe're like but you are going to
(29:35):
be the exception.
You're going to be the outlierbecause we are going to harass
you until you lighten up alittle bit on your daughter and
you're going to see on the otherside of that that she is going
to be a thriving and beautifulyoung woman, just like the
daughters we have.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
Yeah, that makes sense.
It's interesting how we definesuccess.
It's always something that'sreally bizarre to me.
What does that mean?
Does that mean the car, thehouse, the you know whatever?
If you got the family andyou're kind and you take care of
others, like that's successfulright.
So success I mean.
How would you define success?
Speaker 2 (30:11):
Well, it depends on what quadrant of your life it is
in, because I have littledifferent measurements for
success.
For my daughter it would be,you know, is she happy in her
work, is she moving through hermilestones?
And even, you know, is she ableto really do some of the
(30:31):
personal things she wants to do,like this 10K run in Washington
DC that we're going to be goingback to Washington DC to cheer
her on in her first 10K run?
So it would depend on thequadrant, you know, is it the
personal quadrant or is it thebusiness quadrant?
One of the markers of successthat also is a little bit of a
(30:52):
weakness right now, and I'm'mgoing to strengthen it up, is
taking more personal travel,that is, international.
My daughter has reminded methat I'm a little light on that.
That's one of the things too,nate, you know, especially as
your kids just keep growing andthey get older, get closer to
adulthood, they remind you ofthings that aren't quite where
(31:14):
you want them to be.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
Oh, they get a little more opinionated, a little more
strong.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
They do, they have many things to share with you,
especially that aren't justquite where they need to be with
you.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
Oh, they point out the weakness.
Are they there to point out thegood stuff too?
Speaker 2 (31:29):
Yeah, well, they do.
You know, when we my daughterand I talk about some things,
she said well, you know, you'reimproving in this area and
you're really.
So we actually do a little,almost a little, swot analysis.
You know a little, you know thestrengths, the weaknesses, you
know all of that on the fly.
So we kind of we can do thatwith each other too.
(31:50):
So you know, we kind of saywell, you know, how are you
doing in this quadrant, how areyou doing in this quadrant?
So we're kind of accountabilitybuddies in some areas.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
That's good stuff.
Always good to look at theopportunities and threats too.
Right, yeah, it is.
So the last pillar we have isstoic mindset, and I'm excited
to talk about some mindset stuff.
So how has adopting a stoicmindset or practicing mental
resilience transform the way youface adversity?
Speaker 2 (32:19):
I will say it allows me to have some detachment from
a situation and case in pointwith a couple of investments
that we've had.
There have been fires.
Well, literal literal fires, ok,and one of them they had to
totally rebuild the building.
So totally rebuild the building.
(32:41):
Arson, well, not arson.
A lot of times it's Christmaslights or the staves or somebody
is sleeping in bed with acigarette Usually it's things
like that, so it's not reallyarson, it's some accident of
some sort that has beeninitiated by a tenant.
But what I did is I leveraged mybackground, my history, because
I had had a fire in a previousyear, successfully worked
(33:06):
through that, the propertymanager worked through that,
worked through everything withthe city, got the inspections
done and on the back end of that, that property, within 30
months, gave me a three timesreturn.
So I am looking to see what kindof return these other two fire
(33:29):
properties have done and on oneof them they've really come
along with the rebuild.
In fact I requested a propertytour in October and so I have
seen how they have reconstructedsome of the build to really
even more modernize them, likegoing from the 70s to have more
of a 2000 look versus a 70s lookversus a 70s look.
(33:55):
So you can do some things withsome appliances and with some
fixtures and especially ifthey're having to do some
drywall kind of work and thingslike that.
So now I'm trying to keep inmind that there are just more
units that are upgraded andthey're utilizing insurance
because they were fire, so thereshould be some gain in that
(34:18):
department because they're notusing part of their capital
expense budget.
They were using the fireinsurance money for that.
So I'm trying to keep steady onthat and remind myself of the
progress that they're making andhow they're utilizing the funds
, just in a different way, in adifferent bucket.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
That's interesting too.
I think that's a good reminderthat everything happens for a
reason, right?
So you have a fire.
You're initially thinkingthat's terrible, it's bad news.
But you, just as easily, likeyou did, you reframed it and
things are getting upgraded andit's going to be newer for the
future.
Even bad things have some lightin there.
So with the insurance, I'mcurious do you?
Is that all covered, or do youonly get a certain portion of
(34:59):
that?
How does that work forinsurance?
Speaker 2 (35:02):
It's typically covered.
I mean if you, I mean ifthere's no arson in play.
And with these there's no arsonin play and they'll have an
inspector go in and inspect it.
Of course that'll take a whilewith the city to inspect and you
know, because they've got tokind of got to go through all of
all of their procedures andensure that yes, it is, it was
(35:25):
an accident versus arson, as youhad said.
And and also work with theinsurance provider and make sure
.
Of course one of the things isthe part the team has to make
sure that you're adequatelyinsured and that you have that
protection during theacquisition side.
Speaker 1 (35:43):
Yeah, that makes sense.
What are some key strategies orpractices you use to cultivate
resilience in your daily life?
Speaker 2 (35:51):
In my daily life I do take a pause.
So I take a pause and I do areset.
We kind of alluded to thatearlier, you and I, where you're
.
Just you stop what you're doingand you need to take a little
different course of action soyou can do a mental reset, you
can do an emotional reset, youcan even physically reset your
(36:13):
body.
You say, oh well, have I beensitting too long, oh well, I
need to get some movement, Ineed to move a little.
So you can kind of take a pauseand just observe and then take
a little different course ofaction in that moment.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
Yeah, that makes sense.
Do you have any daily ritualslike coffee, journaling,
meditation or anything?
Speaker 2 (36:34):
I do meditate, so I'm a meditator and I do use
affirmations.
So I use affirmations in themorning, I use affirmations
midday and I use someaffirmations at night, and I
also have a gratitude ritual.
Yeah, can you walk us throughsome of that?
Sure, sure.
Well, it's pretty simple.
(36:55):
Every morning, after meditating, I think of three things that I
am grateful for, and I speakthem out loud.
I say what I'm thankful forthis.
You know, whatever I'm thankfulfor, and I have three things
every morning.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
Hmm, okay, yeah, it's interesting.
I've seen some research and, asyou're thinking about things,
it's the same as if theyactually occurred, which I
thought was pretty wild.
Speaker 2 (37:18):
So if you're worrying about, like you know, joy,
happiness, love, those emotions-those higher level emotions
(37:39):
that are going to put you inthat better zone.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
Yeah, which I think is an important reminder.
We think, oh, it's just kind ofcheesy, I'm saying stuff for
myself, but that research proves, even if you're thinking about
it I mean the example I used wasa negative example but it is
impacting you the same way as ifit were really occurring.
So if anyone's like it's alittle cheesy to you know, talk
to myself or repeat mantras orwhatnot, it it actually does it.
(38:05):
It does what it's supposed to.
So you know, build yourself up.
You know a little self-talk.
I think we do a lot ofself-talk.
The problem is we do negativeself-talk is is the problem
we're saying things all the time, but sometimes we're not very
nice about ourselves.
Yeah, sometimes we're harshRight, aren't we?
Why don't we do that same thingwith the positive?
(38:25):
I don't know.
And the last question I have inthis section is can you share a
time when stoic principleshelped you navigate?
A difficult decision helped younavigate?
Speaker 2 (38:35):
a difficult decision.
Well, I actually have a couple.
So one of those was when mydaughter was diagnosed with Lyme
disease and she's in aremission state and has been for
a number of years.
So some stoic principles helpedme in that.
But then later who wasdiagnosed with Lyme disease and
(38:56):
so I am really on more of theback end of that.
So I am very close to more of aremission state with my Lyme
disease and I will say stoicprinciples really helped me
through that because I had toreally focus on controllables
versus uncontrollables in everystage of the diagnosis, with my
(39:17):
daughter as well as myself yeah,that makes sense.
Speaker 1 (39:21):
That's uh from ticks, right, is that right?
Yes, it's tick born interestingand there's a pals is that
right panda?
There's a p1 right pause thatcomes off of that as well.
Maybe that's somethingdifferent.
Speaker 2 (39:40):
Well, there might be more of a palsy.
Speaker 1 (39:41):
Okay, Okay.
Well, we talked about a lot ofgood stuff, Sharon.
Let's try to bring some ofthese together.
What's the biggest connectionyou see between entrepreneurship
, parenting and mentalresilience and mental?
Speaker 2 (39:55):
resilience.
Well, you have to breathe.
You have to take a breath sometime, breathe in and say, OK,
how am I going to approach this?
Because you can just go, youknow, in either one of those
quadrants, you know, and that'snot helpful.
All you're doing is injectingunnecessary negative emotions
(40:15):
into a situation and creatingchaos.
Breathe first, so inhale andexhale, and don't be a chaos
creator, Kenneth.
Kind of minimize the chaos,minimize the drama, and
everybody will be veryappreciative of that.
Speaker 1 (40:30):
That's good stuff.
It's bringing it all together.
And the final, sharon ifthere's one takeaway from your
journey that you want listenersto remember, what would it be?
Speaker 2 (40:41):
One takeaway Well, you always have to assess where
you're growing, to where you'regoing, what?
kind of growth do you need andwhat kind of outcomes do you
want?
Find the tools and thetechniques that are going to
help you really get there,especially in your thoughts.
(41:04):
In your thoughts, but also inyour words.
Use the right, the right words.
Don't be so harsh with othersand don't be so harsh with
yourself.
So, as we are in a new year,sharon, do you have any tips or
(41:27):
tricks for yearly planning?
Do you sit down and plan outwhat 2025 looks like?
In fact, we even had abimonthly meeting with one of my
mastermind mentors and we weregoing over some goals, but what
we're doing is we're doing abreakdown, so we're making those
goals smart.
People don't know what smartgoals are.
(41:48):
They're going to be smart.
They're going to be sustainableSpecific measurable.
Yeah, go ahead and say them Nate.
Speaker 1 (41:55):
I think that's what they are Specific, specific,
measurable, obtainable,realistic and tangible time,
sensitive time.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
Yeah, yeah, that was the make your goals smart goals
make them smart.
Speaker 1 (42:07):
Be specific, not I want to get better.
Speaker 2 (42:10):
That doesn't really get us anywhere, help anything
you need, to be really specific.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
Something you can look back and measure right.
Speaker 2 (42:19):
One of the things my mentor really harps on is you
know the relevant and the timesense.
And if he's like, if you don'thave a time listed on it, you
know you're just, you'refloundering forever.
You know you can have this goal, but when's it going to happen?
And he really is very he'sreally very frank.
If you're not operating in thatzone, Good stuff.
Speaker 1 (42:40):
Well, thank you for coming out.
Sharon, everyone out there, I'dlove your input.
Share your questions orfeedback on any of the various
social media pages, engage withus and you might even hear your
next suggestion on an upcomingepisode.
I love you all.
See ya, thank you.
Hi everyone, I'm Nate Shear, your host, and you're
tuned in to Mindforce, thepodcast that explores love, life
and learning, because your mindtruly matters.
Today we have Sharon Riddle andtoday we'll be talking about
entrepreneurship, being the momof a thriving adult daughter and
having a stoic mindset, orhaving that mental resilience.
So, sharon, we're going tostart with the easy stuff, the
(00:45):
four W's.
Who are you?
Speaker 2 (00:48):
I am Sharon Riddle.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Pretty easy right.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
What do you do?
I am an entrepreneur and Iwould call myself more of a real
estate guide.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Okay, and why are you here?
Speaker 2 (01:03):
I am here because mindset is very vital for life
and business.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
And where in the world are you from?
I am from the great state ofDenton, texas, well, of Texas,
but I am in Denton, which isnorth central Texas.
For those of you who reallywant to figure out where in the
world I am in Texas.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Denton, Texas.
There you go.
Yeah, it's always fun living indifferent places.
I'm currently in the UK rightnow, and so trying to explain
people that you can drive acrossthe middle of Texas for 14
hours and still be in Texas iskind of mind blowing for anyone
that's British or in Europe.
It's pretty fun to watch theirheads explode.
Or I lived in California for awhile and same thing, I think 13
or 14 hours up California andyou're still in California.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
And you're still in the same state.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Yeah, it's always funny Like you never travel.
Well, we travel it.
Just you know it takes a lotlonger to get anywhere.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
That's why Texans are so attached to their vehicles?
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Absolutely, you need them.
You got to be able to getplaces, so we'll start with the
warm up.
Sharon, what inspired yourentrepreneurial journey and how
has it shaped your life?
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Well, what inspired and it's kind of an unusual
situation is 9-11 was kind of acatalyst.
So 9-11 here in America and partof that is because my business
partner and spouse is inaerospace, so at the time he
worked for Boeing in a plant inCorinth he does really A lot of
(02:34):
people don't realize that Took abig hit, went down, and I was
also at the time working for atransit company, dallas Area
(02:54):
Rapid Transit very dependent ona formula, federal formula as
well as a tax formula, so salestax, and so I believed it was
just a matter of time beforethere was going to be a layoff.
I mean, just I was in more of afinancial or business analyst
role and so I just think interms of numbers I'm like, okay,
(03:17):
the clock is ticking here, andso that was really the catalyst.
I mean it didn't freak us outdoing that.
We felt we had some skill setto do that.
We sought out some coaches andwe had been doing that for a
little bit.
And then I came from anentrepreneurial family, you know
, wearing a lot of hats, runninga business.
(03:40):
I had seen that modeled in myparents' home, in the home of my
aunts and uncles, as well as mychildhood neighbor who owned
the only toy store in Denton,texas.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
So you saw the upcoming change and got on board
and shifted over with thatchange.
That's good stuff.
I had a question what's onepiece of advice you'd share with
your daughter that reflectsyour own life philosophies?
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Well, the mindset you can create anything.
Got the right mindset becauseit's going to.
You're going to put yourself inan emotionally resilient place,
you're going to take inspiredaction and you're going to be a
creator and you're going tocreate something purposeful.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Yeah, that's, that's powerful stuff.
I think perspective is superimportant.
You have, you know, the victimmentality where you could, you
know, really, you know, go intodarkness and things like that
because you're not given theright hand, or you know your
family life isn't great, orthings like that, or you use it
to, you know, propel yourselfand get into change and try
something new.
You can have the exact samething happen to different people
(04:50):
and, depending on how they lookat it and you know how they use
that, they really change thingsaround for the better or for
the worse.
So having the mindset like yousaid, I think, is super
important.
And the last question of thewarmup is if you could sum up
the essence of a stoic mindsetin a single sentence, what would
it be?
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Resilience is the way .
Speaker 1 (05:09):
Resilience is the way .
Yeah, can you unpack resilienceor not?
Sorry, not resilience, butstoicism a little bit.
I think you know a lot ofpeople believe it means that you
have no emotion and you'reemotionless and kind of has I've
seen in certain situations andcertain people, kind of has a
negative connotation.
But how you know, if you had togive an elevator speech on what
(05:31):
stoic is, how would youdescribe it?
Speaker 2 (05:34):
I would say well, it's not a new thing, because
Marcus Aurelius wrote hismeditation on that and he didn't
even create stoicism, he had ateacher, a coach, that created
it.
He just wrote things down, andso we have a guide to go by
because of his meditations.
But I will also say that it'sreally important to have, and
(05:56):
it's important to think about,controllables versus
uncontrollables, and that isreally very core to Marcus
Aurelius' belief and what hewrites about in his meditations,
because he was an emperor king,supposedly, according to some
historians, one of the goodkings.
So he utilized that philosophynot only in ruling the Roman
(06:22):
Empire, but also in his familylife as well.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Yeah, it's funny how you know timing comes together.
I read the Daily Stoic everymorning.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
I do too.
I get the email, you get theemail.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Yeah, and this morning was controllable.
So that's really funny saying,if you're worrying about all
these things and you're using upall the mind, you know, power
and all those things, it'sreally easy.
You just narrow it down to thethings that you can control, and
that's not not that far, it'sjust the things within your,
within your brain, within yourmind, even your health it
mentioned like even your healthyou can't control.
(06:56):
So you could worry about yourphysical body all you want, but
you could come down with illnessor different things could
happen.
So really all you have is thatone thing, just your mind, and
that's all you need to worryabout.
So it's a powerful one forJanuary 13.
But, yeah, I wanted to see ifyou had any questions for me,
sharon.
Well, one of the questions, oneof the things that has been top
(07:17):
of my head is what are your mind, what are your yeah, I think
I've struggled throughout mylife with certain things and I
think one of them that's kind ofdifficult for me is I'm the
happy-go-lucky guy and I lovebeing the happy-go-lucky guy.
But I think sometimes that getsportrayed or is seen
differently from the outside andso a lot of times I feel like
(07:38):
people think I don't care orthings like that.
But I kind of focus on likewhat you said is the
controllables, like if I can'tdo anything, if I can't control
it, if I can't fix it, like I'mnot going to let it impact me or
really take me down for thatparticular day.
I lost my dad when he was 50.
So he was still pretty youngand you know lost him to lung
(07:59):
cancer and didn't smoke and so alot of things seem unfair and
lost too early and things likethat.
So I've always been relativelyhappy and you know things like
that.
But I feel like losing himearly and seeing you know him
not being able to do the thingsthat he wanted to do really kind
of solidified that in my life,where there's not going to be
anything that's going to take,you know the joy from my day.
(08:19):
If it's like a, you know, minorinconvenience, there are larger
things that have happened, ofcourse, but I try not to let any
of the smaller things take thattime.
I think there's that referencewhere it talks about all the
seconds in the day.
If you let one thing, like youknow, ruin it, are you going to
give away all the rest of thattime?
Because I think it refers toseconds as in money Like you
wouldn't give away the rest ofyour money just because you had
(08:42):
a bad hour or whatnot.
Give away the rest of yourmoney just because you had a bad
hour or whatnot.
I definitely try to stay withinthe stoicism and things like
that and trying to focus on thethings that I can control and
not letting anything reallybring me down too much and maybe
I process and bottle on theinside a little bit, so that's
probably not healthy, but Idefinitely try to focus on the
things that I can control.
So there are things that impactme and affect me, but outwardly
(09:04):
I feel like a lot of times Ilook pretty happy.
What do you think about that?
How does that fit in there?
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Well, I'm kind of the contrast, because I'm kind of
like, more serious, you'retrying to add levity, and my
business partner, who is also myspouse, does that too, so he's
trying to inject some levity ina situation that's a little more
serious, and I am probably morewhat my mother would term me.
When I was a child.
(09:33):
She called me her Vulcan child.
So I'm just, you know, kind ofgetting into the seriousness,
and so I have I actually have towork for more levity so, and
what I try to do is have reallymore resilience in my mindset
and emotions, so then I caninterject joy into the day, and
(09:55):
so that's one of the things thatI really do work on and pause
and say where is the joy I'mputting in this day.
So I'm kind of on the oppositeside of that equation.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
I think it's a good reminder to their spectrums on
everything, and neither of themare right and neither of them
are wrong.
You know, they're justdifferent.
So I try to, you know, balanceout and try and be serious when
I'm supposed to be serious andyou're trying to bring a little
bit more fun and joy into things.
And so I think being aware ofwhere we are is probably the
most important.
Not that any of them are betteror worse than the other, but
(10:29):
just knowing, like, where youfit and how you can, you know,
adjust the situation, and everysituation is different, right,
know your audience, you knowwhat venue or whatever event
you're at.
Maybe it causes you, know you,to go one direction or another,
but yeah, I think that's a goodreminder.
You know different ends, butyou just got to know where
you're sitting so you can takecare of what you need to.
Well, we're going to move intoyour three main pillars.
(10:51):
So the first one isentrepreneurship.
I want to know what motivatedyou to take that leap.
We started to talk about it alittle bit, but what lessons
have you learned along the way?
Speaker 2 (11:26):
no-transcript.
That actually was a mastermindmentor who kept talking about
e-books you need an e-book, youneed an e-book.
And then, of course, mymarketing team you need an
e-book, you need an e-book.
And so finally, you know, we'rein editing mode regarding the
(11:48):
real estate e-book and in someways, I guess they kind of wore
me down, but it was necessary,it's critical, and one of the
things that I've also learned inentrepreneurship is to listen
to your marketing team and ifyou've been a really data-driven
, numbers-driven man or womanlike me, marketing doesn't have
(12:08):
to be a totally black box andyou don't have to be fearful of
it, because for the longest time, that's what I would tell my
marketing team.
I'd say, yeah, marketing issuch a black box for me.
You know that.
You know because my wholetraining, you know because my
whole training, my MBA, my jobsprior to my company job in real
estate or financial analysis, orI was a senior business analyst
(12:32):
.
So marketing is like that waslike the woo-woo stuff for me.
I'm like.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
So how do you work on something where you have that
certain specialty or expertise?
How do you become, like, morewell-rounded or get to
understand the other side alittle bit more?
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Well, I have to seek out people who are subject
matter experts and see mymarketing team.
They are the marketing expertsand I listen to them and now
they've got me thinking ofmarketing a whole lot.
So, especially when I'm on twobi-monthly calls with two
different masterminds but withone of the masterminds, you know
(13:12):
, they talk about marketing agreat deal, and so I'm always
bringing these other ideas tothem and they're like oh well,
you know, marketing was, youwere talking about it being such
a black box, and now you'rebringing all these different
ideas.
And that's where thecollaboration has kind of come,
because I have been seeking outmore education and more ideas,
(13:34):
more creativity in the marketingquadrant.
That we put that on YouTube Notjust all the podcasts, but kind
of what has been a challengingpoint for me and put that out
there on YouTube.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
Yeah, that makes sense.
It reminds me.
One of my favorite books isFierce Conversations by Susan
Scott, and she talks about thebeach ball method, or beach ball
theory, where the differentcolors of the beach ball I got
the red and the green and theblue and she tries to figure out
ways to get everyone to playtogether and do things well,
because if you're on the blueside of it and you look down,
(14:16):
that's marketing, that you lookthrough everything through, and
so everything seems blue, andthen the finance department or
whatever is standing on red, andso they're talking through that
specific lens, and sometimesthe two sides can't get to an
agreement because they're soused to.
They need to be able to stepout and maybe stand on the red
or the green or whatever it is.
(14:37):
That's a little bit differentfrom where they normally stand,
or they're just always gonnathink of it from that one
dimension.
So that's a really good point toget out and absorb stuff from
other other people andespecially, like you said,
subject matter experts, likethey do that all the time.
Let them do the thing that theydo and you can focus on other
things or, you know, bringdifferent ideas and try and
generate some other ideas.
(14:58):
That's, that's all really goodstuff.
Throughout your your journey ofentrepreneurship, what do you
think is like the biggest,biggest flop that you wish you
could redo?
Is there one that just standsout?
Speaker 2 (15:12):
Well, I will say that mostly in the single family
home arena, we didn't have asuper big flop, but we did have
a property that we thought wasgoing to be a flip.
However, market conditionschanged and so this was, you
(15:33):
know, around more of the2008-2009 time frame, and so
there were some properties thatended up going distressed in
this neighborhood in northeastArlington in Texas, and a home
investor came in and bought ahouse.
Well, that immediately loweredthe comparable sales which
(15:56):
affected our property that wehad acquired.
We had acquired, so we had tochange our buy box for that
property, or our buying,actually our selling strategy,
(16:17):
our exit, and so we had to be alandlord for that property
versus just selling it.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
Yeah, that makes sense.
Can you share a pivotal momentin your business journey that's
really tested your resilience.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
I will say, when we were in the single family home
business and 2008,.
2009 came around and there wasjust more of this crunch.
So banks didn't really want toloan money.
Even some of the communitybanks didn't want to loan money
(16:50):
on real estate investments money.
Even some of the communitybanks didn't want to loan money
on real estate investments.
Well, I had had in my backpocket the name of a coach who
would coach people on workingwith private lenders.
He was nationally known, beendoing it for a long time, and so
we went to Alan Calgill's bootcamp in San Antonio to learn how
to have that skill.
(17:10):
All of a sudden, we were makingmoney for one of my neighbors
who's a nurse.
We're making money for a friendwho was a computer science
person and a project lead.
We're making money for a personwho is a former banker, because
they could come in and be ourprivate lenders and we already
(17:32):
had a real estate attorney soshe could create promise summary
notes, so we could make otherpeople money.
And that was our firstopportunity to make other people
money.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
That is a pivotal moment.
How do you balance the demandsof entrepreneurship with your
personal life and values?
Speaker 2 (17:54):
entrepreneurship with your personal life and values.
Well, it's challenging.
I mean it really is, and I willsay that quite often my
thriving adult daughter haspointed out to me that I spend a
lot of time on business.
You know, I spend a lot of timeon business, so I have to be
super mindful of squeezing inmore personal time or more fun
(18:15):
activities.
Like I'm an opera lover, sogoing to the Dallas Opera, so
doing some things like that, andalso interjecting in some other
things.
That a speaker that I'd heardmany years ago that runs his own
camp, a coaching camp, jesseItzler.
He's also married to SarahBlakely, who created Spanx.
(18:38):
For you ladies out there, youknow what Spanx are, but anyway
that you have some things thatkind of are life-defining events
.
He calls them Kevin's Rules.
So you're just doing somethingthat you would never consider
doing.
It's just, but you do it, andyou do it with somebody else, or
you do it with your children.
(18:58):
You know you, you go out thereand it's, it's the best thing
you've done in your life.
It ends up being the best thingyou've done in your life and it
is a a life memory, it's a lifeevent and you have one of those
, at least one of those everyyear.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Yeah, that's a good way to do it.
I really align with that and Iwant to get more towards that.
I know that we just closed outChristmas.
That's one thing that I thinkwe really want to, and we'd love
to shift over to getting rid ofthe toys and you know all the
hard plastic that just sitsaround and they don't really
want to, and we'd love to shiftover to getting rid of the toys
and you know all the hardplastic that just sits around
and they don't really care aboutand trying to shift it over
(19:36):
towards more events and andmemories that go along with that
.
This year we moved over to theuk and so we were able to do the
polar express.
So there's an old steam trainand it takes you around and they
have like the fake north poleand things like that, and Santa
comes on and gives out thesilver bell from his sleigh and
it's a great time.
(19:57):
There was a hot chocolate andcookies and a lot of good things
, and I'd really like to shifttowards that.
Well, hopefully they'llremember, you know, the singing
and the dancing and the fun theyhad versus these, you know
these toys that just kind of sitaround.
It's kind of even funny too,too, because last year my son
(20:18):
was so into dinosaurs so we gotall these dinosaurs and they
make noise and they're all cooland whatnot.
And this year he's into pokemonso he wanted to basically donate
all the dinosaurs that he justgot last year.
So it was kind of funny andkind of reinforcing this thing
where it's like they don'treally care about them that much
the next year.
He's like we try to downsizeand get rid of some stuff before
we get into Christmas so thatwe can.
You know, we try to tell themto donate stuff and let other
(20:39):
kids play with the toys, so wetry to fill up a bag or two and
take that in before we get intoChristmas, and so we try to do
that.
He's like I'll just give awayall the dinos and I'm like those
are brand new, they gotbatteries and they light up and
all that.
So just kind of funny.
But yeah, I totally resonatewith that.
That's awesome that you knowpeople are shifting more towards
making memories.
I think that's what's important.
Life's only so long and youknow life's pretty short, so we
(21:01):
should enjoy the memories thatwe can, which I think really.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
In fact we did that the last two years with my, with
my daughter.
She lives in Washington DC.
She has lived there for sixyears, and so we just pack up
everything and we spend a week.
We're not there.
On top of her, we are in ahotel of our choice and we do
bring the laptop.
But you know, we just kind ofshut everything down and we're
just with them and we go tomuseums, whatever they decide to
do.
This year we went to a Messiahsing-along at the Kennedy Center
(21:38):
.
I would consider that kind of aKevin's rule kind of thing.
Haven't done that before.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Yeah, that's glorious .
I remember the first time Ivisited DC I think it was a
couple of years ago and I justwas there in the beginning of
December it always blows my mindthat the whole capital what do
they call the National Mall isall free.
That's just crazy.
To me, growing up in California, everything costs money, and so
I remember the first time Iwalked through the Smithsonian
(22:05):
and I was trying to find theticket booth.
I thought for sure.
I was like, oh, where's the?
How do I, how do I pay?
And they're like oh, you'regood, it's like what?
It must be taxes or something.
But the National Mall is prettycool, pretty great to walk
around.
This last time I went throughthe one of aerospace with all
the airplanes.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Well, the aerospace is great.
Yeah, dan has to go.
He's gone there more than onetime.
He'll go there again.
And then there's another greataerospace museum that's over at
Dulles in Virginia, and so we'vebeen over there too.
So you know, you got to hitthose because he's in aerospace
and so you know, going tomuseums or air shows that kind
(22:46):
of just comes with the territorybeing his spouse and business
partner.
So we've seen some cool planes.
We've seen some cool planes flyin that are vintage planes.
We've seen a V-22 Osprey fly inand Dan had to go over and talk
to the flight crew.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Yeah, that's what I have stationed out.
With me is the CV-20.
And when it shifts fromairplane to helicopter it's just
one of those things.
I've seen it a bunch of timesand every time you just kind of
have to watch it just shift.
Tilt rotor.
Yeah, it's a bizarre thing, butthe next pillar we have which I
think this is a good transitionis being the mom of a thriving
adult daughter.
So we talked about making someof those memories with her, and
(23:26):
so what does it mean to you tosee your daughter thriving as an
adult?
Speaker 2 (23:33):
And how did you support that growth?
Well, I will say it really iswonderful seeing her thrive and
we actually kind of transitionedour relationship when she got
out of high school, so she waskind of on her own.
She decided to go to universityout of state.
So she went to the Universityof Denver Beautiful place,
wonderful university.
She was 12 hours away.
To go to university out ofstate.
So she went to the Universityof Denver beautiful place,
wonderful university, she was 12hours away.
(23:55):
And so she actually called memore.
So, you know, for social events,you know what do I do, what do
I wear, you know how do youthink I need to handle this
situation?
So those things kind of startedcropping up during that time
and it really hasn't changed thewhole time.
But I will say, one of thethings that she and I kind of
(24:20):
really work on a great dealmindset.
She is a consultant and ofcourse I'm a business owner, but
we we really both work on our,our mindset, with different
techniques, different ways, butwe're always sharing those tips.
It's kind of like tips andtechniques.
So we share that between thetwo of us.
So it really feels great.
(24:41):
It gives me a lot of joy toreally see her thriving.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
That's good stuff.
So you said you know as highschool and as an adult you know
you guys kind of bonded oversome of those things.
But what are some lessons fromparenting influence how you
approach challenges in businessand life.
Were there things that youtaught her earlier on in life
that kind of set her up on thattrajectory?
Speaker 2 (25:03):
Well, I did teach her to be flexible and I really
work at being flexible, and oneof the instances, way back when
she was in Montessori school,required all of us to be really
flexible.
It was a science project, so alot of parents are going to love
this.
So we were going to the sciencefair and Nora and her science
project partner decided thatthey wanted to experiment and
(25:27):
raise Painted Lady butterflies.
We had to go have a.
We had to find a vendor to getthe larvae raise them up.
Well, we had like threedifferent lots.
We had to go through the firsttwo.
The larvae died Different,totally different reasons,
totally different reasons.
So we had to kind of getthrough the whole process, but
each time we determined what theproblem was with.
(25:48):
I was actually talking to thefield biologist and so we were
diagnosing what was going on andso they would send us these
different lots.
And then finally, they sent usthe mature Penelope butterfly
larvae, successfully raised them, conducted the experiment.
Yay, we went through the wholescientific method and on the
outcome, they got an award atthe science fair nice, you never
(26:13):
thought you would you got to beflexible?
I guess you really have to beresilient too yeah, you never
thought you would have beentroubleshooting.
Uh, butterflies, I never youknow, you never learned that
going through an mba program.
I can tell you that uh, orparenting.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Parenting is so funny to me.
People always, like, when theyhave their first baby, come to
you.
You know I have like three kidsand so it's like what's the tip
?
Like I don't know there's.
There's no handbook really.
I mean, there's been plenty ofbooks written but you just try
to keep them alive for like 18years and then you have to find
out if you did okay or not.
I don't know if there's reallyyou know.
Just crazy to me it's like youknow, wrap the baby, don't wrap
(26:51):
the baby, it's good for it, it'sbad for it.
And then the next year it'sgood for it again.
I don't know.
Like, eat chocolate, don't eatchocolate.
Red wine's good.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Well, not for babies, but for us it's not good, it's
like geez we can't figure outwhat's going on well, I think,
in each step, in each, you dohave to be observational, you
really have to be observationand adjust like maybe that's the
most difficult part.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
People want the a, a, b, c.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
You know this like nice roadmap they want the
playbook, and sometimes youdon't have a playbook or you
need to throw the playbooks outthat everybody's been giving you
.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
Yeah, I definitely think that's true, because
timelines always drove me nuts.
You know, the walking, thetalking.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
Everyone wants it to be yeah, all the milestones.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
It has to be, you know, 12 months, months, 18
months, I'm like.
Some of them are like 24 topotty train or whatever, and
some are six months.
Sometimes they just get it andsometimes they don't.
But it doesn't really meananything.
You just got to wait for thenext thing, like you said, the
next step, and then that I'lllevel out with the last one or
whatever.
But it is funny when people tryto get hung up on certain
things like that.
One thing I love on the show isstories.
I think that's the best waythat we, you know, pass down
(27:59):
information from generation togeneration.
So can you share a story of aproud moment that reminded you
why resilience and mindsetmatter in raising children?
Speaker 2 (28:10):
Well, I do have a couple that I'm going to share
today, a couple yay.
Well, of course, nora'sgraduation from the University
of Denver very proud moment forus all.
We were there and cheering heron, everybody together in the
auditorium, even though she wasannoyed that only the
engineering students had theirnames on the jumbotron.
(28:30):
We got over that, moved beyondthat.
And then another proud momentis when I was at a mastermind
event in Dallas with some of mymastermind people and I was
having lunch with a couple ofwomen and we all have adult
daughters.
One of them is a physician andthe other one is an engineer and
we were talking about havingthriving daughters and what joy
(28:54):
that gave us.
Well, one of the moms who's anengineer, her daughter hadn't
quite graduated, she's gettingan engineering degree and
culturally she was just kind ofa little with the daughter.
And here both of us moms arecheering the other friend on,
(29:15):
saying you know, you can do that.
I think you need to just loosenup a little bit.
You know you're an engineer,your daughter's an engineer, you
know.
And then you know, she told uswell, all Indian mothers have to
be tough on their children andwe're like but you are going to
(29:35):
be the exception.
You're going to be the outlierbecause we are going to harass
you until you lighten up alittle bit on your daughter and
you're going to see on the otherside of that that she is going
to be a thriving and beautifulyoung woman, just like the
daughters we have.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
Yeah, that makes sense.
It's interesting how we definesuccess.
It's always something that'sreally bizarre to me.
What does that mean?
Does that mean the car, thehouse, the you know whatever?
If you got the family andyou're kind and you take care of
others, like that's successfulright.
So success I mean.
How would you define success?
Speaker 2 (30:11):
Well, it depends on what quadrant of your life it is
in, because I have littledifferent measurements for
success.
For my daughter it would be,you know, is she happy in her
work, is she moving through hermilestones?
And even, you know, is she ableto really do some of the
(30:31):
personal things she wants to do,like this 10K run in Washington
DC that we're going to be goingback to Washington DC to cheer
her on in her first 10K run?
So it would depend on thequadrant, you know, is it the
personal quadrant or is it thebusiness quadrant?
One of the markers of successthat also is a little bit of a
(30:52):
weakness right now, and I'm'mgoing to strengthen it up, is
taking more personal travel,that is, international.
My daughter has reminded methat I'm a little light on that.
That's one of the things too,nate, you know, especially as
your kids just keep growing andthey get older, get closer to
adulthood, they remind you ofthings that aren't quite where
(31:14):
you want them to be.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
Oh, they get a little more opinionated, a little more
strong.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
They do, they have many things to share with you,
especially that aren't justquite where they need to be with
you.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
Oh, they point out the weakness.
Are they there to point out thegood stuff too?
Speaker 2 (31:29):
Yeah, well, they do.
You know, when we my daughterand I talk about some things,
she said well, you know, you'reimproving in this area and
you're really.
So we actually do a little,almost a little, swot analysis.
You know a little, you know thestrengths, the weaknesses, you
know all of that on the fly.
So we kind of we can do thatwith each other too.
(31:50):
So you know, we kind of saywell, you know, how are you
doing in this quadrant, how areyou doing in this quadrant?
So we're kind of accountabilitybuddies in some areas.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
That's good stuff.
Always good to look at theopportunities and threats too.
Right, yeah, it is.
So the last pillar we have isstoic mindset, and I'm excited
to talk about some mindset stuff.
So how has adopting a stoicmindset or practicing mental
resilience transform the way youface adversity?
Speaker 2 (32:19):
I will say it allows me to have some detachment from
a situation and case in pointwith a couple of investments
that we've had.
There have been fires.
Well, literal literal fires, ok,and one of them they had to
totally rebuild the building.
So totally rebuild the building.
(32:41):
Arson, well, not arson.
A lot of times it's Christmaslights or the staves or somebody
is sleeping in bed with acigarette Usually it's things
like that, so it's not reallyarson, it's some accident of
some sort that has beeninitiated by a tenant.
But what I did is I leveraged mybackground, my history, because
I had had a fire in a previousyear, successfully worked
(33:06):
through that, the propertymanager worked through that,
worked through everything withthe city, got the inspections
done and on the back end of that, that property, within 30
months, gave me a three timesreturn.
So I am looking to see what kindof return these other two fire
(33:29):
properties have done and on oneof them they've really come
along with the rebuild.
In fact I requested a propertytour in October and so I have
seen how they have reconstructedsome of the build to really
even more modernize them, likegoing from the 70s to have more
of a 2000 look versus a 70s lookversus a 70s look.
(33:55):
So you can do some things withsome appliances and with some
fixtures and especially ifthey're having to do some
drywall kind of work and thingslike that.
So now I'm trying to keep inmind that there are just more
units that are upgraded andthey're utilizing insurance
because they were fire, so thereshould be some gain in that
(34:18):
department because they're notusing part of their capital
expense budget.
They were using the fireinsurance money for that.
So I'm trying to keep steady onthat and remind myself of the
progress that they're making andhow they're utilizing the funds
, just in a different way, in adifferent bucket.
Speaker 1 (34:36):
That's interesting too.
I think that's a good reminderthat everything happens for a
reason, right?
So you have a fire.
You're initially thinkingthat's terrible, it's bad news.
But you, just as easily, likeyou did, you reframed it and
things are getting upgraded andit's going to be newer for the
future.
Even bad things have some lightin there.
So with the insurance, I'mcurious do you?
Is that all covered, or do youonly get a certain portion of
(34:59):
that?
How does that work forinsurance?
Speaker 2 (35:02):
It's typically covered.
I mean if you, I mean ifthere's no arson in play.
And with these there's no arsonin play and they'll have an
inspector go in and inspect it.
Of course that'll take a whilewith the city to inspect and you
know, because they've got tokind of got to go through all of
all of their procedures andensure that yes, it is, it was
(35:25):
an accident versus arson, as youhad said.
And and also work with theinsurance provider and make sure
.
Of course one of the things isthe part the team has to make
sure that you're adequatelyinsured and that you have that
protection during theacquisition side.
Speaker 1 (35:43):
Yeah, that makes sense.
What are some key strategies orpractices you use to cultivate
resilience in your daily life?
Speaker 2 (35:51):
In my daily life I do take a pause.
So I take a pause and I do areset.
We kind of alluded to thatearlier, you and I, where you're
.
Just you stop what you're doingand you need to take a little
different course of action soyou can do a mental reset, you
can do an emotional reset, youcan even physically reset your
(36:13):
body.
You say, oh well, have I beensitting too long, oh well, I
need to get some movement, Ineed to move a little.
So you can kind of take a pauseand just observe and then take
a little different course ofaction in that moment.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
Yeah, that makes sense.
Do you have any daily ritualslike coffee, journaling,
meditation or anything?
Speaker 2 (36:34):
I do meditate, so I'm a meditator and I do use
affirmations.
So I use affirmations in themorning, I use affirmations
midday and I use someaffirmations at night, and I
also have a gratitude ritual.
Yeah, can you walk us throughsome of that?
Sure, sure.
Well, it's pretty simple.
(36:55):
Every morning, after meditating, I think of three things that I
am grateful for, and I speakthem out loud.
I say what I'm thankful forthis.
You know, whatever I'm thankfulfor, and I have three things
every morning.
Speaker 1 (37:09):
Hmm, okay, yeah, it's interesting.
I've seen some research and, asyou're thinking about things,
it's the same as if theyactually occurred, which I
thought was pretty wild.
Speaker 2 (37:18):
So if you're worrying about, like you know, joy,
happiness, love, those emotions-those higher level emotions
(37:39):
that are going to put you inthat better zone.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
Yeah, which I think is an important reminder.
We think, oh, it's just kind ofcheesy, I'm saying stuff for
myself, but that research proves, even if you're thinking about
it I mean the example I used wasa negative example but it is
impacting you the same way as ifit were really occurring.
So if anyone's like it's alittle cheesy to you know, talk
to myself or repeat mantras orwhatnot, it it actually does it.
(38:05):
It does what it's supposed to.
So you know, build yourself up.
You know a little self-talk.
I think we do a lot ofself-talk.
The problem is we do negativeself-talk is is the problem
we're saying things all the time, but sometimes we're not very
nice about ourselves.
Yeah, sometimes we're harshRight, aren't we?
Why don't we do that same thingwith the positive?
(38:25):
I don't know.
And the last question I have inthis section is can you share a
time when stoic principleshelped you navigate?
A difficult decision helped younavigate?
Speaker 2 (38:35):
a difficult decision.
Well, I actually have a couple.
So one of those was when mydaughter was diagnosed with Lyme
disease and she's in aremission state and has been for
a number of years.
So some stoic principles helpedme in that.
But then later who wasdiagnosed with Lyme disease and
(38:56):
so I am really on more of theback end of that.
So I am very close to more of aremission state with my Lyme
disease and I will say stoicprinciples really helped me
through that because I had toreally focus on controllables
versus uncontrollables in everystage of the diagnosis, with my
(39:17):
daughter as well as myself yeah,that makes sense.
Speaker 1 (39:21):
That's uh from ticks, right, is that right?
Yes, it's tick born interestingand there's a pals is that
right panda?
There's a p1 right pause thatcomes off of that as well.
Maybe that's somethingdifferent.
Speaker 2 (39:40):
Well, there might be more of a palsy.
Speaker 1 (39:41):
Okay, Okay.
Well, we talked about a lot ofgood stuff, Sharon.
Let's try to bring some ofthese together.
What's the biggest connectionyou see between entrepreneurship
, parenting and mentalresilience and mental?
Speaker 2 (39:55):
resilience.
Well, you have to breathe.
You have to take a breath sometime, breathe in and say, OK,
how am I going to approach this?
Because you can just go, youknow, in either one of those
quadrants, you know, and that'snot helpful.
All you're doing is injectingunnecessary negative emotions
(40:15):
into a situation and creatingchaos.
Breathe first, so inhale andexhale, and don't be a chaos
creator, Kenneth.
Kind of minimize the chaos,minimize the drama, and
everybody will be veryappreciative of that.
Speaker 1 (40:30):
That's good stuff.
It's bringing it all together.
And the final, sharon ifthere's one takeaway from your
journey that you want listenersto remember, what would it be?
Speaker 2 (40:41):
One takeaway Well, you always have to assess where
you're growing, to where you'regoing, what?
kind of growth do you need andwhat kind of outcomes do you
want?
Find the tools and thetechniques that are going to
help you really get there,especially in your thoughts.
(41:04):
In your thoughts, but also inyour words.
Use the right, the right words.
Don't be so harsh with othersand don't be so harsh with
yourself.
So, as we are in a new year,sharon, do you have any tips or
(41:27):
tricks for yearly planning?
Do you sit down and plan outwhat 2025 looks like?
In fact, we even had abimonthly meeting with one of my
mastermind mentors and we weregoing over some goals, but what
we're doing is we're doing abreakdown, so we're making those
goals smart.
People don't know what smartgoals are.
(41:48):
They're going to be smart.
They're going to be sustainableSpecific measurable.
Yeah, go ahead and say them Nate.
Speaker 1 (41:55):
I think that's what they are Specific, specific,
measurable, obtainable,realistic and tangible time,
sensitive time.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
Yeah, yeah, that was the make your goals smart goals
make them smart.
Speaker 1 (42:07):
Be specific, not I want to get better.
Speaker 2 (42:10):
That doesn't really get us anywhere, help anything
you need, to be really specific.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
Something you can look back and measure right.
Speaker 2 (42:19):
One of the things my mentor really harps on is you
know the relevant and the timesense.
And if he's like, if you don'thave a time listed on it, you
know you're just, you'refloundering forever.
You know you can have this goal, but when's it going to happen?
And he really is very he'sreally very frank.
If you're not operating in thatzone, Good stuff.
Speaker 1 (42:40):
Well, thank you for coming out.
Sharon, everyone out there, I'dlove your input.
Share your questions orfeedback on any of the various
social media pages, engage withus and you might even hear your
next suggestion on an upcomingepisode.
I love you all.
See ya, thank you.
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