June 4, 2025 • 49 mins
I would love to hear from you!
Meet Jane Utesk, a 17-year-old high school junior who owns a Card My Yard franchise, and her mother Jillian, an accidental AI developer who supports her daughter's entrepreneurial journey. Together they discuss how their business spreads joy through yard signs for special occasions while teaching valuable life lessons about resilience, service, and authenticity.
• Jane shares how owning a sign business at 17 has taught her patience and determination
• Jillian explains how she transitioned from chemistry to marketing to AI development
• The challenges of putting signs in difficult yards and managing a business as a teenager
• Creating meaningful memories through personalized yard displays for celebrations and life milestones
• How Jane's natural empathy and desire to help others shapes her business approach
• The impact of their signs, from cancer treatment celebrations to divorce parties
• Finding joy in small gestures like smiles and conversations rather than grand gestures
• Balancing helping others with self-care and setting boundaries
• The importance of authenticity and knowing yourself to live a joy-centered life
Connect with us on social media platforms and join our community. Your voice matters!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Hi everyone.
I'm Nate Shear, your host, andyou're tuned in to Mindforce, a
podcast that explores love, lifeand learning, because your mind
truly matters.
Today we have Jillian and JaneUtesk, and today we'll be
talking about spreading joy,creating memories and helping
their friends.
So we'll start with the warm-upthe who, what, why and where.
(00:44):
What makes you you?
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Why don't you go first, Jane?
Speaker 3 (00:49):
Um so I'm Jane.
I'm a junior in high school.
I just turned 17 in November.
I play tennis for fun.
I like hanging out with myfriends.
I think that's it out with myfriends.
(01:10):
I think that's it, you're anaspiring nurse.
Yes, I'm in my cna class at myschool right now.
I always wanted to be a nurseor like a physician assistant,
something like that.
I just always wanted to do thatand I find joy like helping
people out, like we're going tobe working in like a nursing
home, so that'll be fun.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Nice and Jillian.
What do you do?
Speaker 2 (01:30):
I am accidentally an AI developer with a software as
a service.
It is weird because I'm achemist by trade and then I
became a marketer for 20 years,as one does and then we needed
some tools for our marketingbusiness just for our business,
when AI was just kind of gettingstarted, and I said, oh, let's
go play with this little fidgetspinner thing called AI and see
(01:53):
what it can do to help ourbusiness.
And then we kind of woke up onemorning and said, oh my gosh,
this is a different color outfitthan we thought we were wearing
.
We thought we were a marketingagency, we're sales as a service
, and so that's been super funto see how different people from
different lenses use oursoftware to spread joy.
They use it in so manydifferent ways and I love seeing
(02:13):
how it's able to help them,help others with their goals.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
That's awesome.
Yeah, I find it kind of wildand interesting how we end up
where we end up.
So I came in to the military,initially doing air traffic
control, and then I moved intocontracting cutting contracts on
behalf of the governmentbetween, you know, the
contractor and the governmentand then finally ended up
finding the Medical ServiceCorps, which is what I do now
for the last eight years.
But I'm a hospitaladministrator by trade so I love
(02:38):
helping people.
Like you, jane, I pass out atBlood and Needles so I don't
work the front side of the house, but I love, you know, giving
supplies and pharmaceuticals andinsurance and all the things
that happen on the backside ofthe house.
So absolutely love helpingpeople.
I love that I get the role.
It's a little bit different onthat backside, but still get to
help people.
But, yeah, definitely identifywith helping people.
(03:00):
And why are you two here today?
Speaker 3 (03:01):
And why are you two here today?
Well, I own a Card, my Yardfranchise, which is a signed
business that we do birthdays,we do congratulations, we do
graduations, literally anythingyou might have for a holiday.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Can you think of how many 17-year-olds have their own
franchise?
Is it?
Speaker 3 (03:27):
like less than one percenters.
I haven't met any.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
It seems like a pretty big thing to get out in
front of and that's prettyawesome.
And last question is kind offun because you guys are in
different locations when in theworld are you calling from?
Speaker 3 (03:43):
I am in Raleigh.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
North Carolina.
Mark, I'm in Detroit and I lovetechnology.
When I booked this with you, Ihad no idea I'd be here today
and I'm just so happy that wewere able to still connect today
and to do this, and it's justkind of another example of using
technology to spread joy.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Yeah, it's awesome.
I think there's a lot ofdownside and we hear a lot of
negative on social media and youknow there's bullying and
things like that.
There's always.
You know the other side of thecoin, where you got the
positivity, you know forminggroups and pages and getting out
kindness and other things.
Like I mentioned before, westarted the show.
I've now recorded with peoplein India, germany, australia,
africa.
It's been pretty wild.
I never would have thought that.
(04:22):
I thought it was going to bekind of in my house and now it's
expanded and it's only possibledue to the internet.
So let's try to focus on thepositives that come from
technology and things like that.
I know AI might freak out somepeople, but it's got some
positive and definitely can takecare of some things.
So the first warmup question Ihave is can you share a moment
when someone's kindness broughtyou unexpected joy?
Speaker 3 (04:46):
I think my love language would probably be when
someone does something for me orwe're seeking gifts.
So probably either getting areally good gift, like my friend
she got me a Build-A-Bear butit had my late dog's like fur in
it, which I thought was so cuteand it was really sweet I like
(05:08):
that and then my friends alsohelp me with my sign sometimes.
I thought it was really helpful.
My friend Molly I was going ona cruise and I asked her hey,
can you help me out for thisweek I'll be gone, and she was
like of course I'll help you andshe did a great job.
It was also really stressfulfor me.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
I actually I was going to ask you to elaborate on
your mommy's stress that youhad while you were gone that
week.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
It was really stressful because, like that
Carbonyard is like my baby now,like I can't let anyone else.
It's just not the same fromwhen I do it.
Yeah, I was so stressed.
I usually never get like likeacne and I got a fat pitbull
because I was so nervous.
I was so stressed.
I like I was trying to like getin a good state of mind for
(05:56):
like, oh, I'm on vacation, I'mgonna have so much fun and be so
relaxed it was.
It was rough.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
So do you see, she went see her dad and I would
tell him kind of keeping thingsgoing and she kept texting me
every day how's it going?
Have you seen photos?
Are they straight?
Is she doing?
Is she doing the fluff on theends?
How I would do it, you know,because there has to be
different heights and differentlevels and I just need to make
sure I'm sure she's not doing itright, but however she's doing
it is wrong.
I was was like change, justchill woman.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
So do you see the franchise growing and, you know,
having more yards and otherpeople to help you.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
I think eventually.
Yes, I would like to hire somelike high school students
eventually.
I think we're really growingright now, so, yeah, so how do
you see?
Speaker 1 (06:44):
that progressing with that?
Are you going to be able toallow them to flourish?
Or how are you going to be ableto release, you know, give away
some of that stress.
How do you see that going?
Speaker 3 (06:57):
I'm definitely gonna have to work on the letting
people figure it out themselvestype thing, cause that's how I
had to learn.
I just had to do it and that'sjust how I learned.
So I'll probably just do that,and then I would have to train
them how to like put them in,and then they'll just like the
structure, how I put it up, andthen they'll just have to do it
(07:17):
from there, I guess.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Yeah, and I want to touch on like the kindness that
you talked about earlier.
I think it's really importantthat you know the things that
are related to you and arespecial to you right, like being
in the military, we move a lotand so when you move you get
like going away gifts andsometimes you'll get ones.
It's like the outline of thestate and it's a piece of wood
and kind of looks the same asall the rest, and I have some
like.
One of my favorite gifts issomeone took a montage or a
(07:41):
collage of a bunch of differentpictures from when I was at that
specific assignment and putthem together.
So it didn't really cost anymoney other than cutting gluing
and paper, but it's like one ofmy all-time favorite ones, the
same like the Build-A-Bear orwhatnot, someone that's
personalized and really capturesthat.
So the next question I had foryou is kind of the flip side
what's your favorite way tobrighten someone's day?
Speaker 3 (08:04):
I think just like simple things, like smiling,
like at school, like I try tolike smile at people and be like
hi, how are you?
Just simple things like thatcould really go a long way and
like make their day better.
And I think just being therefor people and having an open
mind, like what they're goingthrough, and not just like
(08:26):
pushing them away, I guess justbeing there for them, yeah, that
makes sense.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
So I wanted to ask you you know you've been doing
the business for a little bit.
You're getting a little stressfrom other people helping you
out If you could go back to dayone of you starting the business
, what advice would you give today one, jane?
Speaker 3 (08:47):
I think just it'll all work out like the first sign
I had.
I was.
I think jillian was as stressedas I was too.
Yeah, so I was really stressed.
So I think, just like it'll allwork out like it worked out
perfectly fine once I finishedit.
Yeah, it's like a.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
You have to get them in the ground and I know that
seems like it should have beenobvious to me and everyone
involved.
But getting them in the groundphysically is harder than you
think and it really varies onpeople's yards and what kind of
terrain you have to, like MaryLou Retton, over to get into or
(09:29):
over a ravine or something fromwhere you can park, bringing the
signs with you and thenstepping back and not stepping
into fun surprises in their yardas you're trying to look at the
sign and make sure it's alllevel.
And I was surprised.
I mean, jane has a greatartistic eye, so that has really
helped.
I would not be able to.
She fits the content in thecenter, so like happy birthday
(09:52):
or congratulations, the contentin the center and then fluff on
either side based off theentrance, the interests of the
recipient and so kind of gettingthose aligned and finding
things that work.
I just don't have that level ofcreativity.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
That's pretty cool.
Back to like.
We were just talking about thatpersonalized thing.
You know, anyone could probablydo it, but having the eye and
really honing in on the personis probably what that what makes
that feel, you know, a lot morespecial or whatnot, as they
pull up the driveway and seethat that's awesome.
So before we get into yourthree main pillars, I wanted to
see if you had any questions forme.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
What made you go into the military service and
helping people over there?
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Yeah, yeah.
So it's kind of funny as yougrow up, you never want to do
what your parents do, becausethat's not cool.
And so I used to watch my dadsit on the edge of the bed like
put his uniform on and I sworeup and down not going to do that
.
I'm not going to do what youand grandpa did, I'm going to
pave my own way, I'm going to domy own thing.
And so I went off and flewairplanes at the University of
North Dakota.
So I went to aviation school tobe a professional pilot,
(10:59):
probably made some poordecisions, you know, focus on
things that probably weren't thebest thing, a little bit too
much beer pong and ended uprunning out of money.
So don't do that.
And needed to refocus.
I needed some direction orwhatnot.
Since I was flying and I reallyliked that atmosphere, I moved
over and started scouting aroundtrying to figure out what I
wanted to do.
So I came in the Air Force as aguaranteed.
(11:20):
Sometimes I don't think we doit as much anymore, but you used
to be able to guarantee yourjob.
So I came in as air trafficcontrol because I was like, oh,
I flew, I was in the airplane,it'd be cool to be on the other
side of the radio.
So I came in there and did that.
But it's funny, the universe issuper hilarious and always
finding ways to make fun.
Because I did that and then Ididn't particularly love air
traffic.
(11:40):
It wasn't the thing that reallygave me joy and got me up in
the morning.
So then I cross-trained intoanother career field and my dad
was actually in contracting andI'd always have people ask me
like oh, you know, does your dadfly airplanes?
Because when you're in the AirForce everyone flies an airplane
, even though we have like 143different jobs.
But to everyone else we flyairplanes.
So my friends as a kid wouldalways be like, oh, does he fly
(12:03):
airplanes?
And I'd be like no, he justsits at a desk and I'd kind of
poke fun like, oh, you just pushpaper and whatnot.
And then I end up in the exactsame career field.
So I remember I called himafter I cross-trained and said,
oh, I'm in contracting, and ofcourse he just starts laughing
on the other end of the phone.
So universal comeback just tryyour best, make good choices and
you know whatever will happen.
But it's probably a little morethan you wanted.
(12:24):
But that's where I'm at now,and then a long story to get to
the medical service core.
But yeah, that's how Iinitially ended up here.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Jump in and see because you know, given Jane's
age, we've had some conflicts inthe business that I some I was
expecting, some I wasn'texpecting.
But what I wanted to ask you totalk about conflicts is food.
Is there a food you would noteat as a child that you love now
, like Brussels sprouts?
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Absolutely One I find hilarious.
It's avocado and guacamole.
My mom thought it wasdisgusting.
I think she probably still does.
Hopefully she'll listen andmaybe let me know.
I can't remember, but sheavoided it and always thought it
was something bad.
So I never even tried it, Ijust had voided it at a default.
I just thought I was supposedto avoid it, like, oh, it's all
(13:12):
mushy and green and off to theside, I just won't mess with it.
And now I'm like mom, why'd youdo this to me?
I will destroy some guacamolenow, but I needed to get out and
try some things.
So yeah, I think you knowtrying everything.
Once you know if you don't likefish or you know whatever it is
, at least give it a try and see.
I wish I would've done more ofthat, but I just kind of avoided
it because I think she avoidedit.
(13:33):
Now she's gonna be like youblame me for everything.
That's not what I'm saying, butit is kind of funny.
Yeah, those are some goodquestions.
So we'll move into the threepillars.
The first one you guys have isspreading joy.
What does spreading joy to youmean on a personal level?
Speaker 3 (13:48):
or their holiday.
I think it still makes theirday, because I had this sign
where this girl she just gotdone with cancer treatment, her
(14:10):
chemo, and that really wasreally sweet to see, like
putting it up and all that, andshe texted us after she was like
this is great, we loved it.
And then also, like the parents, when I put up their kids signs
, they're always like this isgreat, thank you, and I'm like.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
Good stuff.
Speaker 3 (14:35):
How do you stay joyful in difficult times
yourself?
I think Karma Yard has reallytaught me patience, especially
when the ground is not good orlike I cannot put the sign in,
like I have to really take somedeep breaths, like I have to do
this, I have to put the sign inand I just get in my calm, happy
place and just do it.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
What would you say is the most difficult yard?
Can you tell us like thenightmare yard Is there?
Speaker 3 (15:02):
one that stands out.
Yeah, I had this one yard.
So usually I use like a malletto put in my happy birthday in
the back, and usually that'sfine with the mallet like I can
put it in.
But this sign, if I couldn'tput it in with a mallet, I
already knew it was going to bebad because I would not be able
(15:23):
to put it in with my hands forthe bottom row.
So I was already stressingabout that and also I was newer
to the business at that time too.
That was really bad.
It was complete rock.
I didn't have my.
I have.
We had these black like woodpieces that we use for like
indoor signs.
We can also use them outsidewhen the ground's too hard.
(15:44):
I did not have those either, soI was really stressed about
that, but I eventually got itdone and it turned out good.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
What do you think the business has taught you about
resiliency and determination?
Speaker 3 (16:01):
I think it's taught me to just push through, like,
even when it's taught me to justpush through, like even when
it's really hard and you thinkyou literally cannot put this
sign, in which has happened alot, I think it just made me
realize to just like do it Evenif it's hard, like just
literally push through, like useyour muscles, push through, and
also mentally like I can dothis.
(16:22):
I've done it before, I can doit again also mentally like I
can do this.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
I've done it before, I can do it again.
It came home after a sign onetime and her hair was just all
like disheveled.
It was poofed up so big it waslike I was hearing cnn through
it.
Her shirt is like hanging offher shoulder and I was like, oh
my god, what happened to you?
Like these are just signs.
They're just like glorifiedposter board with like sticks on
them.
How, how did this happen?
And she's just telling me thelevel of just calamity.
(16:49):
And she'd left the mallet at oneperson's house and had to go
back and get it and backtrack.
And then meanwhile sometimeswe're under time constraints
with our signs because they'retrying to time them when people
aren't home.
So you've then got thatpressure Okay, they're going to
be back from the hospital in 30minutes.
I've got to get this sign in.
And she walked in the door andshe goes I quit, I'm not doing
(17:11):
it anymore, I quit.
And I was like Jingle's not anoption.
You are a business owner.
We bought this franchise.
We have a commitment to thebank first of all, and this is
your long-term plan to fund yourcollege.
Like quitting is just not anoption.
And as soon as I said that toher, she like she rolled her
shoulders back and she goes okay.
I pulled it together so I wasreally proud.
(17:33):
I've been surprised to see Ithought you would learn how to
deal with customers.
I thought you would learn howto put signs in.
I was not expecting you tolearn how to handle these kind
of bumps in life at a smallerrate to kind of help prepare you
for when the bumps happen atbigger rates.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
Jillian, what do you think is the most surprising
lesson that she's learned so far?
Speaker 2 (17:59):
I would say confidence.
She is very much a she likes tohelp people, which is very
opposite than me.
I'm a very much like rub somedirt on it and keep going,
you're fine, but she will sitthere and comfort, and but she's
also kind of had to pushthrough and say, okay, this is
something I need to worry aboutat this moment, or this isn't
something I need to worry aboutat this moment.
(18:19):
And part of that has been kindof public speaking and engaging
with folks, because a lot oftimes the customers will come
out and talk to her while she'sputting in the signs, or their
kids will come out and talk toher and that would have just
turned you into a pile offeathers a year ago.
You would have just been likethese adults are talking to me
or this other kid is talking tome and I don't know them.
(18:39):
And so to see you push throughand then learn how to not only
share your journey but help themon their journey, so often
people will ask her hey, jane,how do you do this Like as a 17
year old, how do you do this?
And we're very lucky that ourstate is very welcoming to
entrepreneurship and there is noage minimum to get your to get
(19:00):
a 1099.
So Jane was able to get her own1099 and navigate that and then
with her 1099, get a checkingaccount and navigate that.
And I just kind of sat back andI knew there was no risk for
failure.
If she failed it was not a bigdeal.
So I was very comfortablesitting back and letting her
kind of navigate these on herown.
So she went to the bank.
(19:21):
She opened her checking accounton her own.
So she went to the bank.
She opened her checking accounton her own.
She now meets with our CFO oncea month and they work through
how they're going to handle themoney and how they're going to
put it into what's going to gointo her personal checking
account, what's going to stay inthe business checking account,
what portion is she going to payback on her loan for this month
and what portion is she goingto keep for herself.
So it's been very nice to seeyou learn how to make those
(19:42):
decisions and some of them havebeen hard because you had to
come.
You had to let go of a good bitof your personal savings, your
babysitting money.
You had to let go of a good bitof that at the beginning to
help fund this, and I could seein your face you would much
rather have taken that toChipotle and eaten Chipotle for
the rest of your life with thatmoney.
So I apologize, chipotle, thatyou missed out on some revenue,
(20:05):
but you did it.
I could see in your eyes youdid not want to, but you did it.
And then there was this senseof relief.
Once you had done it you'relike okay, I did the right thing
.
And I just don't think many17-year-olds get an opportunity
to make decisions like that.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Yeah, I don't think so either, so I got to flip it
to you, jane.
What did you think the biggestobstacle would be going in, and
what was it actually?
Speaker 3 (20:46):
were, but once.
Well, also, we had so manysigns we have 2100 signs so that
was also a challenge to allbring back to our house and pick
it up and all that.
So that was a struggle.
I was also really stressed,like putting all the signs up.
We have these racks that wehang them up on, and that was
the first moment I was like Idon't know if I'm going to do
this.
You couldn't get the wrapstogether.
Yeah, my dad had to put themall together and all that
(21:10):
because I was not about to dothat.
Yeah, and also I did not wantto wear a uniform.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
What was our first big fight in the business?
Speaker 3 (21:22):
I feel that yeah, we have these like green shirts
that say card my yard and wehave like a gray one, which is
pretty cute, but I don't likethe material for card my yarding
.
I did not want to wear that atall.
I wanted to wear my own clothesbecause it was like comfortable
in it and it's good for likesummertime I guess.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
And looking cute and looking cute.
You don't have to think aboutit, it's pretty nice.
I will say that I wear the samething every day.
That's pretty nice.
Speaker 3 (21:53):
Yeah, I think that was probably the most.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Okay, yeah, that's good stuff.
The next question I wanted toask is kind of an expansion.
Earlier you talked about theperson that recovered from
cancer, but what's?
Speaker 3 (22:10):
one of them that you think made the most lasting
impact on one of your signs.
I think the most one would bethe cancer one, probably
Probably one of the most.
We've had a lot of graduations,which is also very.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
We've also had some soldiers.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
That's been fun.
Yes, we've done a coming homeone from the Army.
We just did a divorce one.
I did a divorce one yesterday,I believe.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Which I thought was really impactful for the family.
Was it well received.
Speaker 3 (22:48):
I think so yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
The kids came out and talked to me.
Yeah, they had happened becausewe utilized virtual assistants
to help us, because I was verynervous with Jane having direct
contact with the outside world,and so we utilized virtual
assistants.
So they check our portal, theyget the orders, they call the
customers, confirm the detailsand then text Jane each morning.
Heck, here's your schedule,here's where you're putting in
(23:12):
this sign here and you'repicking up this sign here.
So she's really just theexecution arm of it, which is
still helpful because that hasto be done in person and so I
don't even really watch that.
And it's so, I hate to saywell-oiled now, because now I'm
jinxing it, let me knock on wood, but it's so well-oiled now the
VAs know their part, jane doesher part that I can come to
Detroit and feel completely finethat it's going to still happen
(23:35):
with our virtual assistants inthe Philippines and Jane and
Raleigh, and it's going to stillhappen.
I was sitting at dinner withsome colleagues and they're
asking about Jane.
I pulled up on my phone and shealways does a time-lapse video
when she installs the sign andthen we send that to the
customer so they can have amemory, because you know how it
is Oftentimes when you're livinga very joyful moment or
something that is a lifemilestone.
(23:55):
You're so in it that you forgetto document it.
You forget to take a picture orvideo.
So we realized our customers wegot that feedback early on so
we take the video.
So I'm watching the video and Ithink it says C-I-V-A.
What Okay?
Speaker 3 (24:13):
And I spelled it out and I saw it wasn't her who came
out I saw someone in the video,but it's so fast.
There was a lot of people thatshe was having a divorce party
and all her friends were thereand her kid came out and he was
like I want to help you.
I was like, okay, you can putthis sign over here.
And he did not do that, but itwas okay, he was cute.
He was so sweet and I liketalked to the kid and all that
and like entertained him alittle bit while the parents
(24:35):
were like talking, while I wasputting a sign up, and I had to
like reconfigure the signbecause the kid put them in like
the weird spots.
But it was fun.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
I think they really liked it do you think that's the
most surprising one?
Speaker 3 (24:51):
I think so yeah, I think it's the most like whoa
toughest sign you've had.
Like I haven't had a divorcesign.
Like I haven't seen anyone havea divorce party ever.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
We had the other sign that it could be.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
Yeah, we had someone.
Um, this is when molly was myfriend.
Molly was helping me out whileI was on vacation.
She had to put up a it could beworse sign for someone's death,
like one of the I think theirdad died or something and they
had they like celebrated.
They have a celebration of lifefor him, like every year, and
(25:26):
that's the sign that they picked, which is really interesting.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Wow, I was trying to rack my brain around the 2100,
but now I see why there's 2100because there's lots of
different options.
Well, that's a good transitionto the next pillar.
You could talk to about thetime lapse and those meaningful
memories.
A lot of times we are notpaying attention.
The next one is creatingmeaningful memories.
What are some of your favorite?
Speaker 3 (25:52):
memories that you've created with friends or loved
ones.
I think, well, today I actuallyhave a school dance that I'm
going to, so that'll be fun.
I'm going with all my friendsand we're taking pictures.
So that's one way.
I'm going with all my friendsand we're taking pictures.
So that's one way I love takingpictures with my friends.
I love dressing up and goingout to dinner or stuff like that
.
I think that's really fun and Ithink just like getting out of
the house.
(26:12):
Jillian does not like gettingout of the house.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
She's out right now.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
If I'm not out for work, I'm home.
It's like, it's like one or theother.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
Yeah, I thought you were gonna talk about your
spring break.
I thought you were gonna talkabout your spring break, when,
when you asked about, like a funthing, that's the first thing
that came to mind for me thatyou would talk well, yeah, um,
we me and my three other friendswent.
Speaker 3 (26:41):
We got an Airbnb in South Carolina for our dog's
reunion and my friends camealong and I thought it was so
fun.
It was for a week, which ispretty long for a group of
teenage girls, but I think wemade so many memories and we all
got really close, and it's thesame girls I'm going with to the
(27:04):
dance too, so yeah, where didthe dog?
go.
They have, we have a Boykin, wehave two Boykin Spaniels and
they have a Boykin Spanielreunion in Boykin, south
Carolina, every like springtime,um, and we usually go every
year, so that's really funinteresting.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
I did not know that I knew springer and cocker and a
few other spaniels.
I didn't didn't know that one.
Okay, well, learn something newalong the way.
So the next question I had foryou was do you think
intentionality plays a role inmaking memories?
Speaker 3 (27:40):
I think it does.
When you're intentional aboutlike for me, when I'm
intentional about my signs, I'mpassionate about it.
I want it to look good, as goodas possible, and I think that
can show presenting the sign too.
I think I can show the way itturns out and how my attitude
towards them when they come outand they're like, oh, this
(28:02):
sign's so good.
Good, I think that can show tooit shows reverence for the
event.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
You didn't just stick it in the ground I think that's
like when you make food andpeople say, oh, it's like made
with tlc, right, like you feeldifferent about you know the
people that are at the table,the food that you're eating, how
you're going about the thing,the food or or the ingredients,
I'm sure are not any differentunless they're sweat drops in it
or something weird, but for themost part it's.
(28:29):
You know the memories of thingsyou're doing together and so
that made with TLC, you know,probably not a real thing, but
you do feel different, some ofthose things of the
intentionality and you knowspending the time and I'm sure,
like you know you've mentioned afew different times you wanted
a certain way and the fluffshave to be in a certain spot and
things like that.
Taking the time, I'm sure itgoes a long way and you know
(28:49):
people recognize that.
So the last question in thispillar is how can people create
meaningful moments in theireveryday lives, even with a busy
schedule?
Speaker 3 (29:00):
I think again like just small things, um, like
having a conversation withsomeone, like taking like a
little pause out of your dayjust to like either have a
moment for yourself or for me.
I like, I like people, so Iusually just like talk to my
friends or just like have amoment for myself, or I'm just
(29:21):
like there for me and otherpeople and I find joy in that.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Yeah, I think that's an important reminder.
It's come up on the show acouple of times that I think you
know, even though it'sreiterating something that's
been repeated.
It's just important.
I think a lot of times we wantthese Herculean efforts, these
large things, and it's like ifyou don't do something huge,
you're not going to do anythingat all.
But these large things and it'slike if you don't do something
(29:47):
huge, you're not going to doanything at all.
But I think that's missing thepoint.
I think it is the smiles andthe things you just don't know,
like I always loved that one.
You don't know what battlesothers are fighting.
So you know you hold the doorfor someone or something that
seems pretty insignificant, butyou know they just lost somebody
like we talked about earlier orsomething like that.
That's just enough to be like,hey, I can get through this and
things like that, even though itseems really small to you.
Jillian, what's your mostmeaningful memory throughout the
(30:08):
last year?
Speaker 2 (30:10):
I had to pick up where you were and I was
thinking about this yesterdaybecause I'm traveling for work,
so we're in conferences all dayand it's freezing cold, and I
came back to my room and I wasreally tired and I hear this
knock on the door and I'm likewho's here?
I've been with people all day.
This is yeah, and it was roomservice had delivered deviled
eggs, and I know that may not bekind of to your point about.
(30:33):
We think as adults, especiallywhen we grow older, we have
bigger checking accounts and wehave bigger desires.
Like you know, she could havesent me a gift certificate for a
rich Carllton in florida andthat would have been great.
But the deviled eggs I lovedeviled egg and we were just
having that conversation earlier.
But the bigger thing is it mademe feel seen and really heard
because we had spoke about it.
(30:53):
She took her, she took enoughtime and care to remember that I
mentioned that I like deviledeggs and then she also took the
time and care to perceive that Iwas just drained, like my soul,
soul was tired and I justneeded something to kind of go
oh, someone recognize, someoneyou know, and so the little
deviled eggs really brighten myday.
The other thing that happenedabout a couple months ago and
(31:15):
kind of going back to our storyabout just as adults I think we
can get so caught up in okay,I've got to go to this at 1030,
this at 12, this at so caught upin okay, I've got to go to this
at 1030, this at 12, this atand I try to take inspiration
from my dogs, who just smellpoop and are happy, you know it
kind of just putting in thosesmall things and finding joy in
the everyday.
And this lady was in front of mein line and she had on this,
really like not an outfit Iwould have worn, but I could
(31:38):
tell it was like when she putthat on this morning that
morning in the mirror and shesaw herself, she was like, yeah,
world, we are coming and we arecoming in hot and she just had
this and I wanted her to knowshe was seen and it was.
So I gave her a compliment andyou should have seen her face.
It was just she was smilinganyway because she was already
loving her outfit.
But to hear confirmation and tobe seen from someone else a
(32:01):
total stranger she was likethank you, I got this shirt
first and then I found the skirtin the same fabric two years
later in Louisiana and she tellsme this you could tell she
wanted to share that story, andso often we don't take the time
to hear people's stories or tolet them kind of share with what
they have going on, but thepower of a compliment yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
And I think, like you said, really connecting with
the minor things.
It's funny today my wife gotsomething that I had mentioned,
you know, a little bit ago and Ijust mentioned it as an
offhanded compliment notcompliment but request and I
guess not request, but I hadmentioned something about, you
know, washing my hair and I waslike, oh, I love one of those
things that like gets down tothe scalp.
(32:41):
I was like, oh, you know, likewhen you're washing your hair,
you just never really get downthere.
And then you know, a couple ofmonths had gone by and then
today she popped a thing in theshower that actually does that
and the thing is probably, I'msure, like five dollars.
It's silicone, whatever.
So the dollar amount, you know,that doesn't really matter, but
it's like she heard it, likeyou had said about the deviled
eggs and being able to connectand like, oh, yeah, make a note
(33:04):
of that, go and get it, or maybeshe saw it or whatever.
But it is interesting how thesmaller things we want them to
be huge, but I think the smallerthings are actually probably in
a lot of different cases.
But yeah, the last pillar wehave for you guys is helping
your friends.
So, jane, what drives you towant to help others?
Where does that come from?
Speaker 3 (33:28):
I don't know.
I just have always just wantedto help, like my friends.
If they're ever going throughsomething like I, always let
them know they can always talkto me Like giving them like
advice, and all that I think canreally help too.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Why don't you talk about last night and our dogs,
since I wasn't home?
Speaker 3 (33:51):
Yeah, I currently have no parents at home right
now.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
I'm glad that it won't be our own version of
Macaulay Culkin.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
Is there a pizza on the ceiling back there?
Speaker 2 (33:58):
I know I was looking too, because I could tell she
was in her room and I was likeare there clothes on the floor?
Speaker 3 (34:07):
let me say my room is very clean right now.
I just want to put that therest of the house, um yeah, last
night I slept in my parents bed, which was really nice.
I liked dog.
She's 15 and she has dementiaand we give her like medicine
(34:28):
before bed and she usually getsall like groggy, like she falls
asleep like she, she's chill.
But last night she woke me upat 1 am and 3 am and 6 am and I
took her out three times duringthe night with my other dog and
(34:48):
I don't really know it was.
Speaker 1 (34:59):
I was proud of you, because you could have easily
not done that and no one wouldhave known.
Yes, doing what's right when noone is looking.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
Jillian always done that, always helped from the
very beginning.
She has always had a servant'sheart.
I developed one over life, butI was not born with one, but she
has always been.
Even as a child she was quietin the corner, always watching
and listening and picking up.
She loved babies and animalsand if there was a little bug
outside she'd make sure itwasn't in the road.
(35:27):
And I'm like everybody can fendfor themselves, it'll be fine.
There's a plan for everybodyand every creature.
But she just has always hadthat.
I'm just from the beginning orworrying about oh, that person
has peanut butter and crackers,I have jelly, I should share my
jelly with them.
I would never be thatperceptive to check other people
out and say, hey, let me sharesome jelly with them.
(35:48):
And I was so glad when sheshared that she wanted to be a
nurse, because we need nurses,just like you in the medical
field.
And that is not me Unplugsomeone's medical device to
charge my phone.
I am just not the right person.
But it reminded me how us beingdifferent is what makes life so
exciting and also makes a placefor everybody, and I'm glad
(36:08):
that Jane is that place forbabies and for the elderly.
She goes before COVID.
She would go to.
We have a nursing home in thefront of our neighborhood and
she would go with our dog whenshe was like 10 at the time to
the nursing home and she wouldjust put her in the bed with the
folks in the nursing home andlet her pet them and Jane would
hear their stories.
And you had one lady who wouldtell you her name every day Hi,
(36:32):
I'm Rose.
I am Rose.
That's all she would say Janewas so cool.
She goes oh hi, Rose, I'm Janeand so it's not something that
most because you had to been 11at that time, if I'm thinking
correctly, Most 11 year oldsdon't say hey, will you drive me
and our dog to the localnursing home so I can visit with
the residents there?
(36:52):
It was just not, it wasunexpected, but I could.
It's so genuine for how shesees the world.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
Yeah, I think that's another really good reminder too
of how we're all builtdifferently.
A couple weeks ago, twoSaturdays ago, I was off at an
offsite for training.
That was some other things, butyou know that all comes
(37:40):
together.
You wouldn't want a team of thesame person.
The team would get nothing done.
Or maybe they get one thingdone really well and then
nothing else done at all.
Um, so that's a really goodpoint.
So I was curious, jane, how hasyou know that connection and
your mindset really shaped yourrelationships?
Does everyone just flood to you, or how does that look like in
your friend circle?
Speaker 3 (38:09):
a lot of my friends like, if anything happens, they
usually just like come to me totalk about it, um, and I just
like I'm there for them, like Ijust listen to them, like
sometimes you just don't evenhave to say anything, you just
like have to be, there and justlisten you share about your
recent ex-boyfriend and you hadto kind of deal with some uh, I
(38:33):
don't want to say jealousy, butit's not.
Speaker 2 (38:36):
The communications were not things that most 17
year olds talk about in theirrelationship breakup.
Speaker 3 (38:42):
Have you record my yard business, oh yeah so, yeah,
he, he would usually come withme to do my signs because, like,
I would usually have a signevery day and he would always
text me to be like, do we have asign today?
(39:03):
Like we always do signs likewhen I'm with you?
Well, yeah, because that's likemy job, like sorry.
And then when we broke up, hewas like I didn't want to tell
you this, but I was alwaysjealous of like your business
and like how much money you hadand like what you're like
(39:23):
accomplishing now and stuff, andI was like, oh, okay, thank you
.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
I guess that's interesting, didn't he want to?
You know, succeed alongside you, huh that's what I said I was.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
I was shocked.
I said that that's the 17 yearold's mindset for you, versus a
27 year old, and then like letme hitch my cart to this pony,
but insteadyear-old's like I'mjealous of you, I don't want to
be your friend anymore.
Yeah guys don't develop untillike 25.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
So you know we take a little bit longer, we're a
little slower on the upkeep.
You know we got to catch up atsome point.
I was curious with you know youwere talking about sitting with
people.
I'd love if you could just, youknow, maybe reiterate or even
expand.
I think when people sit withpeople and they need to be there
for them, they're like I'm notsure what to say.
But could you talk a little bitmore with that empathy, being
(40:17):
able to connect with people and,you know, take a load off, you
know what they're going through.
Speaker 3 (40:21):
I think just like, if they say something like try to
find something to relate to thatkind of like, just being there,
Like I don't really know, Justbeing there and being like oh
I'm so sorry this happened, butlike here's like, and then
(40:45):
giving them advice to like moveforward with it.
Speaker 2 (40:49):
Like not just like Oftentimes, you would just just
listen.
Speaker 3 (40:51):
you would just listen to their stories yeah, just
like listening to, like whathappens, and not all the time
you have to have something tosay.
You can just be present.
And that's like I think beingpresent is also one of my love
languages, because I think justbeing there, like just doing
anything with someone, like Icould be going to the grocery
(41:12):
store with my friend, and that'sstill fun for me.
Speaker 1 (41:16):
Quality time.
Speaker 3 (41:17):
Yeah, that's a good one yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:21):
I think that's a really good reminder.
I keep saying reminder, butthese are all really good
reminders.
I think that's important to beable to sit with someone.
I think a lot of times we wantto try to solve it.
We want to try to relate.
I think relating is good insome cases, but sometimes people
are like no, it's about meright now.
I know I struggle with thatbecause that's how I connect
with people.
So I try to relate and they'relike, oh yeah, but it's not
(41:42):
about you.
I'm like, no, no, I'm notsaying it's about me, but that's
how I connect.
So I think it's good to try toknow your audience.
I think everything's a littlebit different.
There's, I think, a lot oftimes we want like cookie cutter
for a lot of things, like onething that'll work for
everything, and humans are crazyand we're all over the place,
so you can't really havesomething that works for
everything.
The last question I want tohave in this one, before we
(42:10):
start to move close out a littlebit, is when you're taking on,
you know some of that stuff whatdo you do to take care of
yourself?
You can't take.
You know all of thosesituations and that maybe
negativity in all the time.
What do you do to take care ofyourself?
Speaker 3 (42:20):
Well, me and my friend Molly, we've been friends
since like basically birth, soI think we have a really good
relationship where, like, we canboth share our own stuff that's
going on, but also like beingthere for each other and like
knowing when it's that person'stime to talk and like have their
own stuff and like having likeboundaries and stuff like that
(42:44):
that's good.
Speaker 1 (42:45):
I remember my first assignment as a newly
commissioned officer.
I had a terrible year.
It was not fun, it was not whatI thought it was going to be
and so a little bit of stickershock.
But a guy that I used to workwith we'd go to Starbucks and
it's something I think Imentioned on the show before,
but it has nothing to do withthe coffee or tea, but being in
(43:09):
the car, venting, processing,like you know.
Maybe we'd get out of the carand not ever mentioned what we
talked about ever again.
You know, sometimes we did tryto give solutions to each other,
but that afternoon passionfruit, lemonade or whatever it
may be was like the best and itwas really because of the car
ride, not because of thedestination.
So it's always good to havethat person to be able to, to
get some stuff off your chestand really be able to vent.
Do you have anything else on?
Speaker 2 (43:29):
that, jillian, I thought you were going to say TJ
Maxx was your self-care.
Speaker 3 (43:35):
Oh, I love shopping.
I love TJ Maxx, yeah, tj Maxx.
I think shopping is.
Speaker 1 (43:41):
Have you made one of those videos where you're
looking for really weird stuff?
Those are so fun.
Speaker 3 (43:46):
I'm looking for santa in a donut.
I have done one of those whereI went like thrifting with my
friend and we bought like ugly,outfits and stuff.
Yeah, I also think, like whenI'm on my way to doing a sign, I
think just like having momentsto myself, like just driving,
like being in the car, listeningto music is also therapeutic
(44:08):
too yeah, music can hit.
Speaker 1 (44:12):
Oh, so many different things.
We used to have songs on ourmyspace before you, jane, but
myspace used to tell exactly howyou were feeling.
Used to be an awesomeprogrammer in basic html.
Well, the last question.
We're going to try to bringeverything together, so both of
you got to answer this one.
If someone wanted to startliving a life centered around
joy, connection and kindnesstoday, what's one simple step
(44:36):
they should take?
Speaker 3 (44:39):
You want to go, liz, I'll let you cover.
I think being open-minded canhelp and just always having a
smile like even if you're havinga rough day, just like a smile,
can also help other people, butcan also help you and change
your mindset, I would say takethe time to be vulnerable with
(45:00):
yourself, to get to knowyourself, to know what you want,
and I say that because I was 29, a couple of times in a row.
Speaker 2 (45:11):
Before I did that, I was living the persona of what
the world wanted me to be, andso so many people thought I was
an extrovert because I would bethe first one out, the last one
home and the first one to stepup and public speak.
And in reality I was trulyintroverted, but I'd never taken
the time and the first one tostep up and public speak.
And in reality I was trulyintroverted, but I'd never taken
the time and the silence withmyself to have the uncomfortable
(45:34):
conversations with myself todiscover that.
And then, once I discoveredthat, then that's when the work
starts.
That's when you have to holdyourself accountable, to say yes
to things that bring you joyand no to things that don't, and
be okay with the ramificationsof both of those.
That okay is there.
If I say no to this because myheart doesn't want me to do it,
(45:56):
what's the outcomes, the pro andthe con of that?
And then, equally, doingsomething like with my business
moving into a software as aservice.
That just felt so right in myheart.
But if I I hadn't have takenthe time to get to know myself
and to do that, I would havenever arrived at that place to
feel confident to do that.
So I really encourage and I'mglad that Jane has had a chance
(46:16):
to do that.
I don't think it's consciously.
You didn't do it.
I did it very purposely, veryconsciously, but you did it
almost accidentally because youwere just with that child
naivety.
You wanted to go to the nursinghome.
You wanted to do the babies atchurch I know someone has to
watch the babies during churchand I am so appreciative that
Jane and folks like her will dothat so that we can't.
(46:38):
But you know that aboutyourself and you take action on
it versus going, my peers aren'tdoing this or someone else.
My friend group isn't going tothe nursery.
I don't want to go to thenursery.
You're honest to yourself.
So it would be either know whoyou are with childhood naivety
or take the time as an adult todiscover and then just be honest
and hold yourself accountable.
Speaker 1 (46:58):
That's so good too.
Yeah, it's definitely good tobe genuine.
You can only fake it for solong.
I remember, like I mentionedearlier, I was enlisted and I
crossed over to be an officer.
So I moved into, like theleadership role and I remember
when I did that I was like I'mgoing to be stern and strict,
I'm moving into a leadershipposition, I need to be hard, I
need to be these things, andthat lasted for I don't know,
(47:19):
like six months and I'm like I'mstill going to be goofy crazy.
You know it's just the way thatyou are, so the faster you just
embrace it and be okay with it.
I have struggled from time totime with that little bit of
weirdness, but we're all made alittle bit different.
You know there's a reason for alittle bit different.
So embrace it, be real and, youknow, move on.
You can worry about what otherpeople are thinking, but it's
(47:39):
not going to help too much.
So luckily, jane's got itfigured out 17.
She, she knows who she is andshe's going to be a wonderful
nurse.
Well, thank you, jane andJulian.
I appreciate you guys coming out.
Please join the conversation.
Connect with us on any of thesocial media platforms.
Got all of them pretty much,except for X.
And then let me know how thingsare going on the podcast.
(47:59):
Anywhere you listen to podcastsSpotify, apple or whatnot we're
building a community and yourvoice matters.
I love you all.
See ya, thank you.
Hi everyone.
I'm Nate Shear, your host, andyou're tuned in to Mindforce, a
podcast that explores love, lifeand learning, because your mind
truly matters.
Today we have Jillian and JaneUtesk, and today we'll be
talking about spreading joy,creating memories and helping
their friends.
So we'll start with the warm-upthe who, what, why and where.
(00:44):
What makes you you?
Speaker 2 (00:46):
Why don't you go first, Jane?
Speaker 3 (00:49):
Um so I'm Jane.
I'm a junior in high school.
I just turned 17 in November.
I play tennis for fun.
I like hanging out with myfriends.
I think that's it out with myfriends.
(01:10):
I think that's it, you're anaspiring nurse.
Yes, I'm in my cna class at myschool right now.
I always wanted to be a nurseor like a physician assistant,
something like that.
I just always wanted to do thatand I find joy like helping
people out, like we're going tobe working in like a nursing
home, so that'll be fun.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Nice and Jillian.
What do you do?
Speaker 2 (01:30):
I am accidentally an AI developer with a software as
a service.
It is weird because I'm achemist by trade and then I
became a marketer for 20 years,as one does and then we needed
some tools for our marketingbusiness just for our business,
when AI was just kind of gettingstarted, and I said, oh, let's
go play with this little fidgetspinner thing called AI and see
(01:53):
what it can do to help ourbusiness.
And then we kind of woke up onemorning and said, oh my gosh,
this is a different color outfitthan we thought we were wearing
.
We thought we were a marketingagency, we're sales as a service
, and so that's been super funto see how different people from
different lenses use oursoftware to spread joy.
They use it in so manydifferent ways and I love seeing
(02:13):
how it's able to help them,help others with their goals.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
That's awesome.
Yeah, I find it kind of wildand interesting how we end up
where we end up.
So I came in to the military,initially doing air traffic
control, and then I moved intocontracting cutting contracts on
behalf of the governmentbetween, you know, the
contractor and the governmentand then finally ended up
finding the Medical ServiceCorps, which is what I do now
for the last eight years.
But I'm a hospitaladministrator by trade so I love
(02:38):
helping people.
Like you, jane, I pass out atBlood and Needles so I don't
work the front side of the house, but I love, you know, giving
supplies and pharmaceuticals andinsurance and all the things
that happen on the backside ofthe house.
So absolutely love helpingpeople.
I love that I get the role.
It's a little bit different onthat backside, but still get to
help people.
But, yeah, definitely identifywith helping people.
(03:00):
And why are you two here today?
Speaker 3 (03:01):
And why are you two here today?
Well, I own a Card, my Yardfranchise, which is a signed
business that we do birthdays,we do congratulations, we do
graduations, literally anythingyou might have for a holiday.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Can you think of how many 17-year-olds have their own
franchise?
Is it?
Speaker 3 (03:27):
like less than one percenters.
I haven't met any.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
It seems like a pretty big thing to get out in
front of and that's prettyawesome.
And last question is kind offun because you guys are in
different locations when in theworld are you calling from?
Speaker 3 (03:43):
I am in Raleigh.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
North Carolina.
Mark, I'm in Detroit and I lovetechnology.
When I booked this with you, Ihad no idea I'd be here today
and I'm just so happy that wewere able to still connect today
and to do this, and it's justkind of another example of using
technology to spread joy.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
Yeah, it's awesome.
I think there's a lot ofdownside and we hear a lot of
negative on social media and youknow there's bullying and
things like that.
There's always.
You know the other side of thecoin, where you got the
positivity, you know forminggroups and pages and getting out
kindness and other things.
Like I mentioned before, westarted the show.
I've now recorded with peoplein India, germany, australia,
africa.
It's been pretty wild.
I never would have thought that.
(04:22):
I thought it was going to bekind of in my house and now it's
expanded and it's only possibledue to the internet.
So let's try to focus on thepositives that come from
technology and things like that.
I know AI might freak out somepeople, but it's got some
positive and definitely can takecare of some things.
So the first warmup question Ihave is can you share a moment
when someone's kindness broughtyou unexpected joy?
Speaker 3 (04:46):
I think my love language would probably be when
someone does something for me orwe're seeking gifts.
So probably either getting areally good gift, like my friend
she got me a Build-A-Bear butit had my late dog's like fur in
it, which I thought was so cuteand it was really sweet I like
(05:08):
that and then my friends alsohelp me with my sign sometimes.
I thought it was really helpful.
My friend Molly I was going ona cruise and I asked her hey,
can you help me out for thisweek I'll be gone, and she was
like of course I'll help you andshe did a great job.
It was also really stressfulfor me.
Speaker 2 (05:27):
I actually I was going to ask you to elaborate on
your mommy's stress that youhad while you were gone that
week.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
It was really stressful because, like that
Carbonyard is like my baby now,like I can't let anyone else.
It's just not the same fromwhen I do it.
Yeah, I was so stressed.
I usually never get like likeacne and I got a fat pitbull
because I was so nervous.
I was so stressed.
I like I was trying to like getin a good state of mind for
(05:56):
like, oh, I'm on vacation, I'mgonna have so much fun and be so
relaxed it was.
It was rough.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
So do you see, she went see her dad and I would
tell him kind of keeping thingsgoing and she kept texting me
every day how's it going?
Have you seen photos?
Are they straight?
Is she doing?
Is she doing the fluff on theends?
How I would do it, you know,because there has to be
different heights and differentlevels and I just need to make
sure I'm sure she's not doing itright, but however she's doing
it is wrong.
I was was like change, justchill woman.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
So do you see the franchise growing and, you know,
having more yards and otherpeople to help you.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
I think eventually.
Yes, I would like to hire somelike high school students
eventually.
I think we're really growingright now, so, yeah, so how do
you see?
Speaker 1 (06:44):
that progressing with that?
Are you going to be able toallow them to flourish?
Or how are you going to be ableto release, you know, give away
some of that stress.
How do you see that going?
Speaker 3 (06:57):
I'm definitely gonna have to work on the letting
people figure it out themselvestype thing, cause that's how I
had to learn.
I just had to do it and that'sjust how I learned.
So I'll probably just do that,and then I would have to train
them how to like put them in,and then they'll just like the
structure, how I put it up, andthen they'll just have to do it
(07:17):
from there, I guess.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Yeah, and I want to touch on like the kindness that
you talked about earlier.
I think it's really importantthat you know the things that
are related to you and arespecial to you right, like being
in the military, we move a lotand so when you move you get
like going away gifts andsometimes you'll get ones.
It's like the outline of thestate and it's a piece of wood
and kind of looks the same asall the rest, and I have some
like.
One of my favorite gifts issomeone took a montage or a
(07:41):
collage of a bunch of differentpictures from when I was at that
specific assignment and putthem together.
So it didn't really cost anymoney other than cutting gluing
and paper, but it's like one ofmy all-time favorite ones, the
same like the Build-A-Bear orwhatnot, someone that's
personalized and really capturesthat.
So the next question I had foryou is kind of the flip side
what's your favorite way tobrighten someone's day?
Speaker 3 (08:04):
I think just like simple things, like smiling,
like at school, like I try tolike smile at people and be like
hi, how are you?
Just simple things like thatcould really go a long way and
like make their day better.
And I think just being therefor people and having an open
mind, like what they're goingthrough, and not just like
(08:26):
pushing them away, I guess justbeing there for them, yeah, that
makes sense.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
So I wanted to ask you you know you've been doing
the business for a little bit.
You're getting a little stressfrom other people helping you
out If you could go back to dayone of you starting the business
, what advice would you give today one, jane?
Speaker 3 (08:47):
I think just it'll all work out like the first sign
I had.
I was.
I think jillian was as stressedas I was too.
Yeah, so I was really stressed.
So I think, just like it'll allwork out like it worked out
perfectly fine once I finishedit.
Yeah, it's like a.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
You have to get them in the ground and I know that
seems like it should have beenobvious to me and everyone
involved.
But getting them in the groundphysically is harder than you
think and it really varies onpeople's yards and what kind of
terrain you have to, like MaryLou Retton, over to get into or
(09:29):
over a ravine or something fromwhere you can park, bringing the
signs with you and thenstepping back and not stepping
into fun surprises in their yardas you're trying to look at the
sign and make sure it's alllevel.
And I was surprised.
I mean, jane has a greatartistic eye, so that has really
helped.
I would not be able to.
She fits the content in thecenter, so like happy birthday
(09:52):
or congratulations, the contentin the center and then fluff on
either side based off theentrance, the interests of the
recipient and so kind of gettingthose aligned and finding
things that work.
I just don't have that level ofcreativity.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
That's pretty cool.
Back to like.
We were just talking about thatpersonalized thing.
You know, anyone could probablydo it, but having the eye and
really honing in on the personis probably what that what makes
that feel, you know, a lot morespecial or whatnot, as they
pull up the driveway and seethat that's awesome.
So before we get into yourthree main pillars, I wanted to
see if you had any questions forme.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
What made you go into the military service and
helping people over there?
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Yeah, yeah.
So it's kind of funny as yougrow up, you never want to do
what your parents do, becausethat's not cool.
And so I used to watch my dadsit on the edge of the bed like
put his uniform on and I sworeup and down not going to do that
.
I'm not going to do what youand grandpa did, I'm going to
pave my own way, I'm going to domy own thing.
And so I went off and flewairplanes at the University of
North Dakota.
So I went to aviation school tobe a professional pilot,
(10:59):
probably made some poordecisions, you know, focus on
things that probably weren't thebest thing, a little bit too
much beer pong and ended uprunning out of money.
So don't do that.
And needed to refocus.
I needed some direction orwhatnot.
Since I was flying and I reallyliked that atmosphere, I moved
over and started scouting aroundtrying to figure out what I
wanted to do.
So I came in the Air Force as aguaranteed.
(11:20):
Sometimes I don't think we doit as much anymore, but you used
to be able to guarantee yourjob.
So I came in as air trafficcontrol because I was like, oh,
I flew, I was in the airplane,it'd be cool to be on the other
side of the radio.
So I came in there and did that.
But it's funny, the universe issuper hilarious and always
finding ways to make fun.
Because I did that and then Ididn't particularly love air
traffic.
(11:40):
It wasn't the thing that reallygave me joy and got me up in
the morning.
So then I cross-trained intoanother career field and my dad
was actually in contracting andI'd always have people ask me
like oh, you know, does your dadfly airplanes?
Because when you're in the AirForce everyone flies an airplane
, even though we have like 143different jobs.
But to everyone else we flyairplanes.
So my friends as a kid wouldalways be like, oh, does he fly
(12:03):
airplanes?
And I'd be like no, he justsits at a desk and I'd kind of
poke fun like, oh, you just pushpaper and whatnot.
And then I end up in the exactsame career field.
So I remember I called himafter I cross-trained and said,
oh, I'm in contracting, and ofcourse he just starts laughing
on the other end of the phone.
So universal comeback just tryyour best, make good choices and
you know whatever will happen.
But it's probably a little morethan you wanted.
(12:24):
But that's where I'm at now,and then a long story to get to
the medical service core.
But yeah, that's how Iinitially ended up here.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Jump in and see because you know, given Jane's
age, we've had some conflicts inthe business that I some I was
expecting, some I wasn'texpecting.
But what I wanted to ask you totalk about conflicts is food.
Is there a food you would noteat as a child that you love now
, like Brussels sprouts?
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Absolutely One I find hilarious.
It's avocado and guacamole.
My mom thought it wasdisgusting.
I think she probably still does.
Hopefully she'll listen andmaybe let me know.
I can't remember, but sheavoided it and always thought it
was something bad.
So I never even tried it, Ijust had voided it at a default.
I just thought I was supposedto avoid it, like, oh, it's all
(13:12):
mushy and green and off to theside, I just won't mess with it.
And now I'm like mom, why'd youdo this to me?
I will destroy some guacamolenow, but I needed to get out and
try some things.
So yeah, I think you knowtrying everything.
Once you know if you don't likefish or you know whatever it is
, at least give it a try and see.
I wish I would've done more ofthat, but I just kind of avoided
it because I think she avoidedit.
(13:33):
Now she's gonna be like youblame me for everything.
That's not what I'm saying, butit is kind of funny.
Yeah, those are some goodquestions.
So we'll move into the threepillars.
The first one you guys have isspreading joy.
What does spreading joy to youmean on a personal level?
Speaker 3 (13:48):
or their holiday.
I think it still makes theirday, because I had this sign
where this girl she just gotdone with cancer treatment, her
(14:10):
chemo, and that really wasreally sweet to see, like
putting it up and all that, andshe texted us after she was like
this is great, we loved it.
And then also, like the parents, when I put up their kids signs
, they're always like this isgreat, thank you, and I'm like.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
Good stuff.
Speaker 3 (14:35):
How do you stay joyful in difficult times
yourself?
I think Karma Yard has reallytaught me patience, especially
when the ground is not good orlike I cannot put the sign in,
like I have to really take somedeep breaths, like I have to do
this, I have to put the sign inand I just get in my calm, happy
place and just do it.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
What would you say is the most difficult yard?
Can you tell us like thenightmare yard Is there?
Speaker 3 (15:02):
one that stands out.
Yeah, I had this one yard.
So usually I use like a malletto put in my happy birthday in
the back, and usually that'sfine with the mallet like I can
put it in.
But this sign, if I couldn'tput it in with a mallet, I
already knew it was going to bebad because I would not be able
(15:23):
to put it in with my hands forthe bottom row.
So I was already stressingabout that and also I was newer
to the business at that time too.
That was really bad.
It was complete rock.
I didn't have my.
I have.
We had these black like woodpieces that we use for like
indoor signs.
We can also use them outsidewhen the ground's too hard.
(15:44):
I did not have those either, soI was really stressed about
that, but I eventually got itdone and it turned out good.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
What do you think the business has taught you about
resiliency and determination?
Speaker 3 (16:01):
I think it's taught me to just push through, like,
even when it's taught me to justpush through, like even when
it's really hard and you thinkyou literally cannot put this
sign, in which has happened alot, I think it just made me
realize to just like do it Evenif it's hard, like just
literally push through, like useyour muscles, push through, and
also mentally like I can dothis.
(16:22):
I've done it before, I can doit again also mentally like I
can do this.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
I've done it before, I can do it again.
It came home after a sign onetime and her hair was just all
like disheveled.
It was poofed up so big it waslike I was hearing cnn through
it.
Her shirt is like hanging offher shoulder and I was like, oh
my god, what happened to you?
Like these are just signs.
They're just like glorifiedposter board with like sticks on
them.
How, how did this happen?
And she's just telling me thelevel of just calamity.
(16:49):
And she'd left the mallet at oneperson's house and had to go
back and get it and backtrack.
And then meanwhile sometimeswe're under time constraints
with our signs because they'retrying to time them when people
aren't home.
So you've then got thatpressure Okay, they're going to
be back from the hospital in 30minutes.
I've got to get this sign in.
And she walked in the door andshe goes I quit, I'm not doing
(17:11):
it anymore, I quit.
And I was like Jingle's not anoption.
You are a business owner.
We bought this franchise.
We have a commitment to thebank first of all, and this is
your long-term plan to fund yourcollege.
Like quitting is just not anoption.
And as soon as I said that toher, she like she rolled her
shoulders back and she goes okay.
I pulled it together so I wasreally proud.
(17:33):
I've been surprised to see Ithought you would learn how to
deal with customers.
I thought you would learn howto put signs in.
I was not expecting you tolearn how to handle these kind
of bumps in life at a smallerrate to kind of help prepare you
for when the bumps happen atbigger rates.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
Jillian, what do you think is the most surprising
lesson that she's learned so far?
Speaker 2 (17:59):
I would say confidence.
She is very much a she likes tohelp people, which is very
opposite than me.
I'm a very much like rub somedirt on it and keep going,
you're fine, but she will sitthere and comfort, and but she's
also kind of had to pushthrough and say, okay, this is
something I need to worry aboutat this moment, or this isn't
something I need to worry aboutat this moment.
(18:19):
And part of that has been kindof public speaking and engaging
with folks, because a lot oftimes the customers will come
out and talk to her while she'sputting in the signs, or their
kids will come out and talk toher and that would have just
turned you into a pile offeathers a year ago.
You would have just been likethese adults are talking to me
or this other kid is talking tome and I don't know them.
(18:39):
And so to see you push throughand then learn how to not only
share your journey but help themon their journey, so often
people will ask her hey, jane,how do you do this Like as a 17
year old, how do you do this?
And we're very lucky that ourstate is very welcoming to
entrepreneurship and there is noage minimum to get your to get
(19:00):
a 1099.
So Jane was able to get her own1099 and navigate that and then
with her 1099, get a checkingaccount and navigate that.
And I just kind of sat back andI knew there was no risk for
failure.
If she failed it was not a bigdeal.
So I was very comfortablesitting back and letting her
kind of navigate these on herown.
So she went to the bank.
(19:21):
She opened her checking accounton her own.
So she went to the bank.
She opened her checking accounton her own.
She now meets with our CFO oncea month and they work through
how they're going to handle themoney and how they're going to
put it into what's going to gointo her personal checking
account, what's going to stay inthe business checking account,
what portion is she going to payback on her loan for this month
and what portion is she goingto keep for herself.
So it's been very nice to seeyou learn how to make those
(19:42):
decisions and some of them havebeen hard because you had to
come.
You had to let go of a good bitof your personal savings, your
babysitting money.
You had to let go of a good bitof that at the beginning to
help fund this, and I could seein your face you would much
rather have taken that toChipotle and eaten Chipotle for
the rest of your life with thatmoney.
So I apologize, chipotle, thatyou missed out on some revenue,
(20:05):
but you did it.
I could see in your eyes youdid not want to, but you did it.
And then there was this senseof relief.
Once you had done it you'relike okay, I did the right thing
.
And I just don't think many17-year-olds get an opportunity
to make decisions like that.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Yeah, I don't think so either, so I got to flip it
to you, jane.
What did you think the biggestobstacle would be going in, and
what was it actually?
Speaker 3 (20:46):
were, but once.
Well, also, we had so manysigns we have 2100 signs so that
was also a challenge to allbring back to our house and pick
it up and all that.
So that was a struggle.
I was also really stressed,like putting all the signs up.
We have these racks that wehang them up on, and that was
the first moment I was like Idon't know if I'm going to do
this.
You couldn't get the wrapstogether.
Yeah, my dad had to put themall together and all that
(21:10):
because I was not about to dothat.
Yeah, and also I did not wantto wear a uniform.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
What was our first big fight in the business?
Speaker 3 (21:22):
I feel that yeah, we have these like green shirts
that say card my yard and wehave like a gray one, which is
pretty cute, but I don't likethe material for card my yarding
.
I did not want to wear that atall.
I wanted to wear my own clothesbecause it was like comfortable
in it and it's good for likesummertime I guess.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
And looking cute and looking cute.
You don't have to think aboutit, it's pretty nice.
I will say that I wear the samething every day.
That's pretty nice.
Speaker 3 (21:53):
Yeah, I think that was probably the most.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Okay, yeah, that's good stuff.
The next question I wanted toask is kind of an expansion.
Earlier you talked about theperson that recovered from
cancer, but what's?
Speaker 3 (22:10):
one of them that you think made the most lasting
impact on one of your signs.
I think the most one would bethe cancer one, probably
Probably one of the most.
We've had a lot of graduations,which is also very.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
We've also had some soldiers.
Speaker 3 (22:26):
That's been fun.
Yes, we've done a coming homeone from the Army.
We just did a divorce one.
I did a divorce one yesterday,I believe.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
Which I thought was really impactful for the family.
Was it well received.
Speaker 3 (22:48):
I think so yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
The kids came out and talked to me.
Yeah, they had happened becausewe utilized virtual assistants
to help us, because I was verynervous with Jane having direct
contact with the outside world,and so we utilized virtual
assistants.
So they check our portal, theyget the orders, they call the
customers, confirm the detailsand then text Jane each morning.
Heck, here's your schedule,here's where you're putting in
(23:12):
this sign here and you'repicking up this sign here.
So she's really just theexecution arm of it, which is
still helpful because that hasto be done in person and so I
don't even really watch that.
And it's so, I hate to saywell-oiled now, because now I'm
jinxing it, let me knock on wood, but it's so well-oiled now the
VAs know their part, jane doesher part that I can come to
Detroit and feel completely finethat it's going to still happen
(23:35):
with our virtual assistants inthe Philippines and Jane and
Raleigh, and it's going to stillhappen.
I was sitting at dinner withsome colleagues and they're
asking about Jane.
I pulled up on my phone and shealways does a time-lapse video
when she installs the sign andthen we send that to the
customer so they can have amemory, because you know how it
is Oftentimes when you're livinga very joyful moment or
something that is a lifemilestone.
(23:55):
You're so in it that you forgetto document it.
You forget to take a picture orvideo.
So we realized our customers wegot that feedback early on so
we take the video.
So I'm watching the video and Ithink it says C-I-V-A.
What Okay?
Speaker 3 (24:13):
And I spelled it out and I saw it wasn't her who came
out I saw someone in the video,but it's so fast.
There was a lot of people thatshe was having a divorce party
and all her friends were thereand her kid came out and he was
like I want to help you.
I was like, okay, you can putthis sign over here.
And he did not do that, but itwas okay, he was cute.
He was so sweet and I liketalked to the kid and all that
and like entertained him alittle bit while the parents
(24:35):
were like talking, while I wasputting a sign up, and I had to
like reconfigure the signbecause the kid put them in like
the weird spots.
But it was fun.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
I think they really liked it do you think that's the
most surprising one?
Speaker 3 (24:51):
I think so yeah, I think it's the most like whoa
toughest sign you've had.
Like I haven't had a divorcesign.
Like I haven't seen anyone havea divorce party ever.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
We had the other sign that it could be.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
Yeah, we had someone.
Um, this is when molly was myfriend.
Molly was helping me out whileI was on vacation.
She had to put up a it could beworse sign for someone's death,
like one of the I think theirdad died or something and they
had they like celebrated.
They have a celebration of lifefor him, like every year, and
(25:26):
that's the sign that they picked, which is really interesting.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
Wow, I was trying to rack my brain around the 2100,
but now I see why there's 2100because there's lots of
different options.
Well, that's a good transitionto the next pillar.
You could talk to about thetime lapse and those meaningful
memories.
A lot of times we are notpaying attention.
The next one is creatingmeaningful memories.
What are some of your favorite?
Speaker 3 (25:52):
memories that you've created with friends or loved
ones.
I think, well, today I actuallyhave a school dance that I'm
going to, so that'll be fun.
I'm going with all my friendsand we're taking pictures.
So that's one way.
I'm going with all my friendsand we're taking pictures.
So that's one way I love takingpictures with my friends.
I love dressing up and goingout to dinner or stuff like that
.
I think that's really fun and Ithink just like getting out of
the house.
(26:12):
Jillian does not like gettingout of the house.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
She's out right now.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
If I'm not out for work, I'm home.
It's like, it's like one or theother.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
Yeah, I thought you were gonna talk about your
spring break.
I thought you were gonna talkabout your spring break, when,
when you asked about, like a funthing, that's the first thing
that came to mind for me thatyou would talk well, yeah, um,
we me and my three other friendswent.
Speaker 3 (26:41):
We got an Airbnb in South Carolina for our dog's
reunion and my friends camealong and I thought it was so
fun.
It was for a week, which ispretty long for a group of
teenage girls, but I think wemade so many memories and we all
got really close, and it's thesame girls I'm going with to the
(27:04):
dance too, so yeah, where didthe dog?
go.
They have, we have a Boykin, wehave two Boykin Spaniels and
they have a Boykin Spanielreunion in Boykin, south
Carolina, every like springtime,um, and we usually go every
year, so that's really funinteresting.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
I did not know that I knew springer and cocker and a
few other spaniels.
I didn't didn't know that one.
Okay, well, learn something newalong the way.
So the next question I had foryou was do you think
intentionality plays a role inmaking memories?
Speaker 3 (27:40):
I think it does.
When you're intentional aboutlike for me, when I'm
intentional about my signs, I'mpassionate about it.
I want it to look good, as goodas possible, and I think that
can show presenting the sign too.
I think I can show the way itturns out and how my attitude
towards them when they come outand they're like, oh, this
(28:02):
sign's so good.
Good, I think that can show tooit shows reverence for the
event.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
You didn't just stick it in the ground I think that's
like when you make food andpeople say, oh, it's like made
with tlc, right, like you feeldifferent about you know the
people that are at the table,the food that you're eating, how
you're going about the thing,the food or or the ingredients,
I'm sure are not any differentunless they're sweat drops in it
or something weird, but for themost part it's.
(28:29):
You know the memories of thingsyou're doing together and so
that made with TLC, you know,probably not a real thing, but
you do feel different, some ofthose things of the
intentionality and you knowspending the time and I'm sure,
like you know you've mentioned afew different times you wanted
a certain way and the fluffshave to be in a certain spot and
things like that.
Taking the time, I'm sure itgoes a long way and you know
(28:49):
people recognize that.
So the last question in thispillar is how can people create
meaningful moments in theireveryday lives, even with a busy
schedule?
Speaker 3 (29:00):
I think again like just small things, um, like
having a conversation withsomeone, like taking like a
little pause out of your dayjust to like either have a
moment for yourself or for me.
I like, I like people, so Iusually just like talk to my
friends or just like have amoment for myself, or I'm just
(29:21):
like there for me and otherpeople and I find joy in that.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Yeah, I think that's an important reminder.
It's come up on the show acouple of times that I think you
know, even though it'sreiterating something that's
been repeated.
It's just important.
I think a lot of times we wantthese Herculean efforts, these
large things, and it's like ifyou don't do something huge,
you're not going to do anythingat all.
But these large things and it'slike if you don't do something
(29:47):
huge, you're not going to doanything at all.
But I think that's missing thepoint.
I think it is the smiles andthe things you just don't know,
like I always loved that one.
You don't know what battlesothers are fighting.
So you know you hold the doorfor someone or something that
seems pretty insignificant, butyou know they just lost somebody
like we talked about earlier orsomething like that.
That's just enough to be like,hey, I can get through this and
things like that, even though itseems really small to you.
Jillian, what's your mostmeaningful memory throughout the
(30:08):
last year?
Speaker 2 (30:10):
I had to pick up where you were and I was
thinking about this yesterdaybecause I'm traveling for work,
so we're in conferences all dayand it's freezing cold, and I
came back to my room and I wasreally tired and I hear this
knock on the door and I'm likewho's here?
I've been with people all day.
This is yeah, and it was roomservice had delivered deviled
eggs, and I know that may not bekind of to your point about.
(30:33):
We think as adults, especiallywhen we grow older, we have
bigger checking accounts and wehave bigger desires.
Like you know, she could havesent me a gift certificate for a
rich Carllton in florida andthat would have been great.
But the deviled eggs I lovedeviled egg and we were just
having that conversation earlier.
But the bigger thing is it mademe feel seen and really heard
because we had spoke about it.
(30:53):
She took her, she took enoughtime and care to remember that I
mentioned that I like deviledeggs and then she also took the
time and care to perceive that Iwas just drained, like my soul,
soul was tired and I justneeded something to kind of go
oh, someone recognize, someoneyou know, and so the little
deviled eggs really brighten myday.
The other thing that happenedabout a couple months ago and
(31:15):
kind of going back to our storyabout just as adults I think we
can get so caught up in okay,I've got to go to this at 1030,
this at 12, this at so caught upin okay, I've got to go to this
at 1030, this at 12, this atand I try to take inspiration
from my dogs, who just smellpoop and are happy, you know it
kind of just putting in thosesmall things and finding joy in
the everyday.
And this lady was in front of mein line and she had on this,
really like not an outfit Iwould have worn, but I could
(31:38):
tell it was like when she putthat on this morning that
morning in the mirror and shesaw herself, she was like, yeah,
world, we are coming and we arecoming in hot and she just had
this and I wanted her to knowshe was seen and it was.
So I gave her a compliment andyou should have seen her face.
It was just she was smilinganyway because she was already
loving her outfit.
But to hear confirmation and tobe seen from someone else a
(32:01):
total stranger she was likethank you, I got this shirt
first and then I found the skirtin the same fabric two years
later in Louisiana and she tellsme this you could tell she
wanted to share that story, andso often we don't take the time
to hear people's stories or tolet them kind of share with what
they have going on, but thepower of a compliment yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
And I think, like you said, really connecting with
the minor things.
It's funny today my wife gotsomething that I had mentioned,
you know, a little bit ago and Ijust mentioned it as an
offhanded compliment notcompliment but request and I
guess not request, but I hadmentioned something about, you
know, washing my hair and I waslike, oh, I love one of those
things that like gets down tothe scalp.
(32:41):
I was like, oh, you know, likewhen you're washing your hair,
you just never really get downthere.
And then you know, a couple ofmonths had gone by and then
today she popped a thing in theshower that actually does that
and the thing is probably, I'msure, like five dollars.
It's silicone, whatever.
So the dollar amount, you know,that doesn't really matter, but
it's like she heard it, likeyou had said about the deviled
eggs and being able to connectand like, oh, yeah, make a note
(33:04):
of that, go and get it, or maybeshe saw it or whatever.
But it is interesting how thesmaller things we want them to
be huge, but I think the smallerthings are actually probably in
a lot of different cases.
But yeah, the last pillar wehave for you guys is helping
your friends.
So, jane, what drives you towant to help others?
Where does that come from?
Speaker 3 (33:28):
I don't know.
I just have always just wantedto help, like my friends.
If they're ever going throughsomething like I, always let
them know they can always talkto me Like giving them like
advice, and all that I think canreally help too.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Why don't you talk about last night and our dogs,
since I wasn't home?
Speaker 3 (33:51):
Yeah, I currently have no parents at home right
now.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
I'm glad that it won't be our own version of
Macaulay Culkin.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
Is there a pizza on the ceiling back there?
Speaker 2 (33:58):
I know I was looking too, because I could tell she
was in her room and I was likeare there clothes on the floor?
Speaker 3 (34:07):
let me say my room is very clean right now.
I just want to put that therest of the house, um yeah, last
night I slept in my parents bed, which was really nice.
I liked dog.
She's 15 and she has dementiaand we give her like medicine
(34:28):
before bed and she usually getsall like groggy, like she falls
asleep like she, she's chill.
But last night she woke me upat 1 am and 3 am and 6 am and I
took her out three times duringthe night with my other dog and
(34:48):
I don't really know it was.
Speaker 1 (34:59):
I was proud of you, because you could have easily
not done that and no one wouldhave known.
Yes, doing what's right when noone is looking.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
Jillian always done that, always helped from the
very beginning.
She has always had a servant'sheart.
I developed one over life, butI was not born with one, but she
has always been.
Even as a child she was quietin the corner, always watching
and listening and picking up.
She loved babies and animalsand if there was a little bug
outside she'd make sure itwasn't in the road.
(35:27):
And I'm like everybody can fendfor themselves, it'll be fine.
There's a plan for everybodyand every creature.
But she just has always hadthat.
I'm just from the beginning orworrying about oh, that person
has peanut butter and crackers,I have jelly, I should share my
jelly with them.
I would never be thatperceptive to check other people
out and say, hey, let me sharesome jelly with them.
(35:48):
And I was so glad when sheshared that she wanted to be a
nurse, because we need nurses,just like you in the medical
field.
And that is not me Unplugsomeone's medical device to
charge my phone.
I am just not the right person.
But it reminded me how us beingdifferent is what makes life so
exciting and also makes a placefor everybody, and I'm glad
(36:08):
that Jane is that place forbabies and for the elderly.
She goes before COVID.
She would go to.
We have a nursing home in thefront of our neighborhood and
she would go with our dog whenshe was like 10 at the time to
the nursing home and she wouldjust put her in the bed with the
folks in the nursing home andlet her pet them and Jane would
hear their stories.
And you had one lady who wouldtell you her name every day Hi,
(36:32):
I'm Rose.
I am Rose.
That's all she would say Janewas so cool.
She goes oh hi, Rose, I'm Janeand so it's not something that
most because you had to been 11at that time, if I'm thinking
correctly, Most 11 year oldsdon't say hey, will you drive me
and our dog to the localnursing home so I can visit with
the residents there?
(36:52):
It was just not, it wasunexpected, but I could.
It's so genuine for how shesees the world.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
Yeah, I think that's another really good reminder too
of how we're all builtdifferently.
A couple weeks ago, twoSaturdays ago, I was off at an
offsite for training.
That was some other things, butyou know that all comes
(37:40):
together.
You wouldn't want a team of thesame person.
The team would get nothing done.
Or maybe they get one thingdone really well and then
nothing else done at all.
Um, so that's a really goodpoint.
So I was curious, jane, how hasyou know that connection and
your mindset really shaped yourrelationships?
Does everyone just flood to you, or how does that look like in
your friend circle?
Speaker 3 (38:09):
a lot of my friends like, if anything happens, they
usually just like come to me totalk about it, um, and I just
like I'm there for them, like Ijust listen to them, like
sometimes you just don't evenhave to say anything, you just
like have to be, there and justlisten you share about your
recent ex-boyfriend and you hadto kind of deal with some uh, I
(38:33):
don't want to say jealousy, butit's not.
Speaker 2 (38:36):
The communications were not things that most 17
year olds talk about in theirrelationship breakup.
Speaker 3 (38:42):
Have you record my yard business, oh yeah so, yeah,
he, he would usually come withme to do my signs because, like,
I would usually have a signevery day and he would always
text me to be like, do we have asign today?
(39:03):
Like we always do signs likewhen I'm with you?
Well, yeah, because that's likemy job, like sorry.
And then when we broke up, hewas like I didn't want to tell
you this, but I was alwaysjealous of like your business
and like how much money you hadand like what you're like
(39:23):
accomplishing now and stuff, andI was like, oh, okay, thank you
.
Speaker 1 (39:28):
I guess that's interesting, didn't he want to?
You know, succeed alongside you, huh that's what I said I was.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
I was shocked.
I said that that's the 17 yearold's mindset for you, versus a
27 year old, and then like letme hitch my cart to this pony,
but insteadyear-old's like I'mjealous of you, I don't want to
be your friend anymore.
Yeah guys don't develop untillike 25.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
So you know we take a little bit longer, we're a
little slower on the upkeep.
You know we got to catch up atsome point.
I was curious with you know youwere talking about sitting with
people.
I'd love if you could just, youknow, maybe reiterate or even
expand.
I think when people sit withpeople and they need to be there
for them, they're like I'm notsure what to say.
But could you talk a little bitmore with that empathy, being
(40:17):
able to connect with people and,you know, take a load off, you
know what they're going through.
Speaker 3 (40:21):
I think just like, if they say something like try to
find something to relate to thatkind of like, just being there,
Like I don't really know, Justbeing there and being like oh
I'm so sorry this happened, butlike here's like, and then
(40:45):
giving them advice to like moveforward with it.
Speaker 2 (40:49):
Like not just like Oftentimes, you would just just
listen.
Speaker 3 (40:51):
you would just listen to their stories yeah, just
like listening to, like whathappens, and not all the time
you have to have something tosay.
You can just be present.
And that's like I think beingpresent is also one of my love
languages, because I think justbeing there, like just doing
anything with someone, like Icould be going to the grocery
(41:12):
store with my friend, and that'sstill fun for me.
Speaker 1 (41:16):
Quality time.
Speaker 3 (41:17):
Yeah, that's a good one yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:21):
I think that's a really good reminder.
I keep saying reminder, butthese are all really good
reminders.
I think that's important to beable to sit with someone.
I think a lot of times we wantto try to solve it.
We want to try to relate.
I think relating is good insome cases, but sometimes people
are like no, it's about meright now.
I know I struggle with thatbecause that's how I connect
with people.
So I try to relate and they'relike, oh yeah, but it's not
(41:42):
about you.
I'm like, no, no, I'm notsaying it's about me, but that's
how I connect.
So I think it's good to try toknow your audience.
I think everything's a littlebit different.
There's, I think, a lot oftimes we want like cookie cutter
for a lot of things, like onething that'll work for
everything, and humans are crazyand we're all over the place,
so you can't really havesomething that works for
everything.
The last question I want tohave in this one, before we
(42:10):
start to move close out a littlebit, is when you're taking on,
you know some of that stuff whatdo you do to take care of
yourself?
You can't take.
You know all of thosesituations and that maybe
negativity in all the time.
What do you do to take care ofyourself?
Speaker 3 (42:20):
Well, me and my friend Molly, we've been friends
since like basically birth, soI think we have a really good
relationship where, like, we canboth share our own stuff that's
going on, but also like beingthere for each other and like
knowing when it's that person'stime to talk and like have their
own stuff and like having likeboundaries and stuff like that
(42:44):
that's good.
Speaker 1 (42:45):
I remember my first assignment as a newly
commissioned officer.
I had a terrible year.
It was not fun, it was not whatI thought it was going to be
and so a little bit of stickershock.
But a guy that I used to workwith we'd go to Starbucks and
it's something I think Imentioned on the show before,
but it has nothing to do withthe coffee or tea, but being in
(43:09):
the car, venting, processing,like you know.
Maybe we'd get out of the carand not ever mentioned what we
talked about ever again.
You know, sometimes we did tryto give solutions to each other,
but that afternoon passionfruit, lemonade or whatever it
may be was like the best and itwas really because of the car
ride, not because of thedestination.
So it's always good to havethat person to be able to, to
get some stuff off your chestand really be able to vent.
Do you have anything else on?
Speaker 2 (43:29):
that, jillian, I thought you were going to say TJ
Maxx was your self-care.
Speaker 3 (43:35):
Oh, I love shopping.
I love TJ Maxx, yeah, tj Maxx.
I think shopping is.
Speaker 1 (43:41):
Have you made one of those videos where you're
looking for really weird stuff?
Those are so fun.
Speaker 3 (43:46):
I'm looking for santa in a donut.
I have done one of those whereI went like thrifting with my
friend and we bought like ugly,outfits and stuff.
Yeah, I also think, like whenI'm on my way to doing a sign, I
think just like having momentsto myself, like just driving,
like being in the car, listeningto music is also therapeutic
(44:08):
too yeah, music can hit.
Speaker 1 (44:12):
Oh, so many different things.
We used to have songs on ourmyspace before you, jane, but
myspace used to tell exactly howyou were feeling.
Used to be an awesomeprogrammer in basic html.
Well, the last question.
We're going to try to bringeverything together, so both of
you got to answer this one.
If someone wanted to startliving a life centered around
joy, connection and kindnesstoday, what's one simple step
(44:36):
they should take?
Speaker 3 (44:39):
You want to go, liz, I'll let you cover.
I think being open-minded canhelp and just always having a
smile like even if you're havinga rough day, just like a smile,
can also help other people, butcan also help you and change
your mindset, I would say takethe time to be vulnerable with
(45:00):
yourself, to get to knowyourself, to know what you want,
and I say that because I was 29, a couple of times in a row.
Speaker 2 (45:11):
Before I did that, I was living the persona of what
the world wanted me to be, andso so many people thought I was
an extrovert because I would bethe first one out, the last one
home and the first one to stepup and public speak.
And in reality I was trulyintroverted, but I'd never taken
the time and the first one tostep up and public speak.
And in reality I was trulyintroverted, but I'd never taken
the time and the silence withmyself to have the uncomfortable
(45:34):
conversations with myself todiscover that.
And then, once I discoveredthat, then that's when the work
starts.
That's when you have to holdyourself accountable, to say yes
to things that bring you joyand no to things that don't, and
be okay with the ramificationsof both of those.
That okay is there.
If I say no to this because myheart doesn't want me to do it,
(45:56):
what's the outcomes, the pro andthe con of that?
And then, equally, doingsomething like with my business
moving into a software as aservice.
That just felt so right in myheart.
But if I I hadn't have takenthe time to get to know myself
and to do that, I would havenever arrived at that place to
feel confident to do that.
So I really encourage and I'mglad that Jane has had a chance
(46:16):
to do that.
I don't think it's consciously.
You didn't do it.
I did it very purposely, veryconsciously, but you did it
almost accidentally because youwere just with that child
naivety.
You wanted to go to the nursinghome.
You wanted to do the babies atchurch I know someone has to
watch the babies during churchand I am so appreciative that
Jane and folks like her will dothat so that we can't.
(46:38):
But you know that aboutyourself and you take action on
it versus going, my peers aren'tdoing this or someone else.
My friend group isn't going tothe nursery.
I don't want to go to thenursery.
You're honest to yourself.
So it would be either know whoyou are with childhood naivety
or take the time as an adult todiscover and then just be honest
and hold yourself accountable.
Speaker 1 (46:58):
That's so good too.
Yeah, it's definitely good tobe genuine.
You can only fake it for solong.
I remember, like I mentionedearlier, I was enlisted and I
crossed over to be an officer.
So I moved into, like theleadership role and I remember
when I did that I was like I'mgoing to be stern and strict,
I'm moving into a leadershipposition, I need to be hard, I
need to be these things, andthat lasted for I don't know,
(47:19):
like six months and I'm like I'mstill going to be goofy crazy.
You know it's just the way thatyou are, so the faster you just
embrace it and be okay with it.
I have struggled from time totime with that little bit of
weirdness, but we're all made alittle bit different.
You know there's a reason for alittle bit different.
So embrace it, be real and, youknow, move on.
You can worry about what otherpeople are thinking, but it's
(47:39):
not going to help too much.
So luckily, jane's got itfigured out 17.
She, she knows who she is andshe's going to be a wonderful
nurse.
Well, thank you, jane andJulian.
I appreciate you guys coming out.
Please join the conversation.
Connect with us on any of thesocial media platforms.
Got all of them pretty much,except for X.
And then let me know how thingsare going on the podcast.
(47:59):
Anywhere you listen to podcastsSpotify, apple or whatnot we're
building a community and yourvoice matters.
I love you all.
See ya, thank you.
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