November 21, 2023 • 9 mins
What if the act of forgiving wasn’t just about others, but about releasing yourself from the burden of past regrets and mistakes?
I'm not a huge fan of that word, but other terms might feel less loaded to you.
Together, we'll explore effective strategies and tips designed to help you release the past and move beyond the boundaries you have put upon yourself.
Resources & Links Mentioned:
Watch this video to decrease your stress!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
My podcast episodes are often decided on by
something I hear, see.
Think about aha moment.
And somebody mentioned the wordforgiveness today, and I follow
myself recoiling, so let's talkabout that.
Welcome to Mindful HypnosisPodcast.
(00:20):
It is time to change your mind.
Learn all about how to createnew, helpful habits and mindset
changes with integrativehypnosis Plus, with a sprinkle
of mindfulness throughout yourday, you can easily shift into a
calmer state of mind.
I am Cheryl, your hypnotist andpodcast host, and I welcome you
(00:42):
to a better way of living yourlife, one minute at a time.
Do you dread Monday mornings?
Or, worse yet, do you reallyhate Sunday evening?
When you start to think aboutMonday morning?
I get it.
If you have any kind of workanxiety or you worry about work
(01:06):
or you can't stop thinking aboutwork.
I have a way to decrease yourstress before you go to work and
it will take you two minutes orless.
Go on over to CherylJReynolds.
com/stressless and watch thevideo.
(01:27):
Welcome to Mindful Hypnosis.
I'm Cheryl, your host today.
The word forgiveness Some peoplelove that word.
Some people, like me, hate thatword.
In order to move forward in ourlife, there is a part of us
(01:47):
that does need to learn toforgive.
But before we talk aboutforgiveness, let's look at other
words that represent the wordforgiveness Pardon, absolution,
understanding, tolerance.
Sometimes to me, the wordforgiveness represents the word
(02:07):
mistake, mercy, pity, leniency,indulgence.
To me, a lot of these wordskind of have a negative
connotation because they implythat you did something wrong,
and that is exactly whatforgiveness represents.
You did something wrong and youneed to apologize for it,
(02:31):
either to the other person andask them to accept that apology,
which is out of your control,or you need to apologize to
yourself for something you didwrong, so that you can release
and let go.
Even though I don't like theword forgiveness, the concept
behind it is very powerfulbecause if you take our life as
(02:52):
a whole and if you look at allthis shit that we have done good
, bad or indifferent we start inour mind to have this scale of
justice and what happens is thatover time, everything that we
have done wrong, everything thatwe perceive to be a dis on
somebody or something that we'vesaid, or some kind of action
(03:15):
we've taken, we kind of ding itand it stays in our mind as
something that we've done thatneeds, as the word is,
absolution from we have amistake that needs to be righted
, we have a wrong that needs tobe fixed, so automatically that
builds up and it starts to causeproblems.
(03:37):
It may be subconscious, but inour brain we know that it's
there because we're holding onto it.
Sometimes we hold on to itbecause we don't know how to let
it go.
Sometimes we hold on to itbecause there is a part of us
who feels we need a little bitof self punishment and sometimes
we don't know there could be areason behind the reason, a
(04:01):
secondary gain, as I like tocall it.
So I like to say, instead ofthe word forgiveness, is using
the word release.
When something has happened inyour past and you no longer can
control that situation, you nolonger have any ability to take
care of that situation, insteadof letting it fester and build
(04:25):
up all of those quote unquotenegative credits, you can start
to release it, and what happensis when you release it, you make
room for better things.
You also lighten your load,because every time a loop is not
completed and finished when itcomes to something of
forgiveness or a mistake that'sbeen made it is a loop Again.
(04:46):
It's like this this bank ofnegativity is building up and up
.
When you let that go, you startto feel lighter.
You feel as though you can moveforward.
You don't have as much quoteunquote regrets in the past and
the most important aspect offorgiveness is forgiving of the
self.
(05:06):
I don't like the wordforgiveness because to me it has
way too much religiousconnotation around it, but I do
like the idea of letting go, ofreleasing, of knowing that you
did what you could do, you didthe best you could do and now
you no longer have to keep thatin your mind.
You can release that and youcan just say to yourself I
(05:32):
release and let that go.
But you have to believe it.
Visualize it fading away,visualize it being erased,
visualize it being somethingthat is over there, that
happened in the past.
It happened in a place that isnot now, because our life is not
linear.
We think that we move frompoint A to point B, but in our
(05:55):
brain we move back and forth.
We move from present state topast, to future.
We drag all of our shit fromthe past into our future and
anytime we hold on to the crapwe don't need, it is unhealthy,
and then every time we have aproblem or situation that seems
similar to that, we bring itback and go.
(06:15):
Oh, you remember when I didn'tdo a boy?
Yeah, I did that before.
We need to let shit Go.
There is nothing that is goodfor holding on to something that
you need to forgive yourselffor, because if you need to
forgive yourself for it, thenforgive yourself.
(06:35):
If you don't want to forgiveyourself for something, then
figure out.
Why is it so important to holdon to this?
How is this lack of forgivenessServing you?
How is it helping you in yourlife right now?
Because I guarantee you you'reprobably not going to find an
answer that is equivalent toletting it go now.
(06:57):
Having said all that,understand that.
I know how hard it can be toforgive, and this can be for a
number of reasons.
One, you have to look at asituation in order to forgive
yourself, so you do have to goback there and analyze what
happened.
Also, there can be this feelingof guilt and guilt is is hard
(07:20):
to release and, of course,regret, because Most of us are
not intentionally out to hurtpeople or harm people or make
situations bad, but life happens.
Forgiveness, especially ofyourself, also allows you to
release that burden.
(07:40):
You're releasing that pain andyou're also relieved releasing
the victim hood around it,because oftentimes, when we are
harmed and hurt by somebody, weare a victim Instead.
One of the ways to help totransform yourself is by asking
(08:01):
two really important questions.
They're simple but they're veryprofound.
One how do I benefit fromholding on to what I may need to
release?
And the second question is whatcan I do right now to release
and or forgive myself?
Again, I don't like the wordforgiveness.
(08:25):
It makes me cringe every time Isay it, but for this particular
episode I'm having a hard timefinding a better word to use
right now.
So give those two questions athought and in the meantime,
always remember, when it comesto anything like this and hard
questions and really kind ofdigging into what's going on in
your in your life, alwaysInterject and sprinkle with
(08:50):
mindfulness.
It does make a difference.
It does help to what I like tocall space you out, give space
between what you're doing tosettle yourself as you move
through any kind of transitionor change in your life.
Okay, that is all for now.
Take a deep breath in andexhale.
(09:11):
Thank you for listening to theend of this podcast.
Go on over to the show notes atCheryl J Reynolds Com for more
information and valuableresources.
While you're there, sign themfor the newsletter so you never
miss an episode, and if you wantto find the link to work with
me one-on-one, you can find itthere.
(09:32):
Remember, you have a powerfulmind and it can be changed to
support the life you want tolive.
In the meantime, enjoy your dayone minute at a time.
You.
My podcast episodes are often decided on by
something I hear, see.
Think about aha moment.
And somebody mentioned the wordforgiveness today, and I follow
myself recoiling, so let's talkabout that.
Welcome to Mindful HypnosisPodcast.
(00:20):
It is time to change your mind.
Learn all about how to createnew, helpful habits and mindset
changes with integrativehypnosis Plus, with a sprinkle
of mindfulness throughout yourday, you can easily shift into a
calmer state of mind.
I am Cheryl, your hypnotist andpodcast host, and I welcome you
(00:42):
to a better way of living yourlife, one minute at a time.
Do you dread Monday mornings?
Or, worse yet, do you reallyhate Sunday evening?
When you start to think aboutMonday morning?
I get it.
If you have any kind of workanxiety or you worry about work
(01:06):
or you can't stop thinking aboutwork.
I have a way to decrease yourstress before you go to work and
it will take you two minutes orless.
Go on over to CherylJReynolds.
com/stressless and watch thevideo.
(01:27):
Welcome to Mindful Hypnosis.
I'm Cheryl, your host today.
The word forgiveness Some peoplelove that word.
Some people, like me, hate thatword.
In order to move forward in ourlife, there is a part of us
(01:47):
that does need to learn toforgive.
But before we talk aboutforgiveness, let's look at other
words that represent the wordforgiveness Pardon, absolution,
understanding, tolerance.
Sometimes to me, the wordforgiveness represents the word
(02:07):
mistake, mercy, pity, leniency,indulgence.
To me, a lot of these wordskind of have a negative
connotation because they implythat you did something wrong,
and that is exactly whatforgiveness represents.
You did something wrong and youneed to apologize for it,
(02:31):
either to the other person andask them to accept that apology,
which is out of your control,or you need to apologize to
yourself for something you didwrong, so that you can release
and let go.
Even though I don't like theword forgiveness, the concept
behind it is very powerfulbecause if you take our life as
(02:52):
a whole and if you look at allthis shit that we have done good
, bad or indifferent we start inour mind to have this scale of
justice and what happens is thatover time, everything that we
have done wrong, everything thatwe perceive to be a dis on
somebody or something that we'vesaid, or some kind of action
(03:15):
we've taken, we kind of ding itand it stays in our mind as
something that we've done thatneeds, as the word is,
absolution from we have amistake that needs to be righted
, we have a wrong that needs tobe fixed, so automatically that
builds up and it starts to causeproblems.
(03:37):
It may be subconscious, but inour brain we know that it's
there because we're holding onto it.
Sometimes we hold on to itbecause we don't know how to let
it go.
Sometimes we hold on to itbecause there is a part of us
who feels we need a little bitof self punishment and sometimes
we don't know there could be areason behind the reason, a
(04:01):
secondary gain, as I like tocall it.
So I like to say, instead ofthe word forgiveness, is using
the word release.
When something has happened inyour past and you no longer can
control that situation, you nolonger have any ability to take
care of that situation, insteadof letting it fester and build
(04:25):
up all of those quote unquotenegative credits, you can start
to release it, and what happensis when you release it, you make
room for better things.
You also lighten your load,because every time a loop is not
completed and finished when itcomes to something of
forgiveness or a mistake that'sbeen made it is a loop Again.
(04:46):
It's like this this bank ofnegativity is building up and up
.
When you let that go, you startto feel lighter.
You feel as though you can moveforward.
You don't have as much quoteunquote regrets in the past and
the most important aspect offorgiveness is forgiving of the
self.
(05:06):
I don't like the wordforgiveness because to me it has
way too much religiousconnotation around it, but I do
like the idea of letting go, ofreleasing, of knowing that you
did what you could do, you didthe best you could do and now
you no longer have to keep thatin your mind.
You can release that and youcan just say to yourself I
(05:32):
release and let that go.
But you have to believe it.
Visualize it fading away,visualize it being erased,
visualize it being somethingthat is over there, that
happened in the past.
It happened in a place that isnot now, because our life is not
linear.
We think that we move frompoint A to point B, but in our
(05:55):
brain we move back and forth.
We move from present state topast, to future.
We drag all of our shit fromthe past into our future and
anytime we hold on to the crapwe don't need, it is unhealthy,
and then every time we have aproblem or situation that seems
similar to that, we bring itback and go.
(06:15):
Oh, you remember when I didn'tdo a boy?
Yeah, I did that before.
We need to let shit Go.
There is nothing that is goodfor holding on to something that
you need to forgive yourselffor, because if you need to
forgive yourself for it, thenforgive yourself.
(06:35):
If you don't want to forgiveyourself for something, then
figure out.
Why is it so important to holdon to this?
How is this lack of forgivenessServing you?
How is it helping you in yourlife right now?
Because I guarantee you you'reprobably not going to find an
answer that is equivalent toletting it go now.
(06:57):
Having said all that,understand that.
I know how hard it can be toforgive, and this can be for a
number of reasons.
One, you have to look at asituation in order to forgive
yourself, so you do have to goback there and analyze what
happened.
Also, there can be this feelingof guilt and guilt is is hard
(07:20):
to release and, of course,regret, because Most of us are
not intentionally out to hurtpeople or harm people or make
situations bad, but life happens.
Forgiveness, especially ofyourself, also allows you to
release that burden.
(07:40):
You're releasing that pain andyou're also relieved releasing
the victim hood around it,because oftentimes, when we are
harmed and hurt by somebody, weare a victim Instead.
One of the ways to help totransform yourself is by asking
(08:01):
two really important questions.
They're simple but they're veryprofound.
One how do I benefit fromholding on to what I may need to
release?
And the second question is whatcan I do right now to release
and or forgive myself?
Again, I don't like the wordforgiveness.
(08:25):
It makes me cringe every time Isay it, but for this particular
episode I'm having a hard timefinding a better word to use
right now.
So give those two questions athought and in the meantime,
always remember, when it comesto anything like this and hard
questions and really kind ofdigging into what's going on in
your in your life, alwaysInterject and sprinkle with
(08:50):
mindfulness.
It does make a difference.
It does help to what I like tocall space you out, give space
between what you're doing tosettle yourself as you move
through any kind of transitionor change in your life.
Okay, that is all for now.
Take a deep breath in andexhale.
(09:11):
Thank you for listening to theend of this podcast.
Go on over to the show notes atCheryl J Reynolds Com for more
information and valuableresources.
While you're there, sign themfor the newsletter so you never
miss an episode, and if you wantto find the link to work with
me one-on-one, you can find itthere.
(09:32):
Remember, you have a powerfulmind and it can be changed to
support the life you want tolive.
In the meantime, enjoy your dayone minute at a time.
You.
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