Michael Pereira shares his family's journey from denial to acceptance after his son's autism diagnosis, explaining how this experience led him to create The Autism Voyage blog and develop financial planning strategies specifically for special needs families. He reveals the transformative power of physical activity, particularly jiu-jitsu, in helping his son develop discipline, social skills, and a daily routine that brings excitement and structure.
• Started questioning what would happen to his autistic son if he or his wife passed away or became incapacitated
• Created a blog after finding most online resources were outdated or too shallow for complex needs
• Discovered jiu-jitsu as a game-changing activity that helped his son follow instructions, socialize, and develop discipline
• Reduced screen time after noticing it led to addiction-like behaviors and aggression
• Offers financial planning focused on scenarios beyond death—including disability, illness, or long-term care needs
• Emphasizes understanding current financial situation before making future plans
• Balances parenting between his son with autism and younger daughter who's now in speech therapy
• Shares weekly newsletter with practical tips for parents at TheAutismVoyage.com
Visit www.theautismvoyage.com to subscribe to Michael's newsletter and access resources for your own autism journey.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hi, how are you?
This is Dr Damaris MariaGrossman and this is the
Mindfully Integrative Show and Iwant you guys to meet a
wonderful guest, michael Pereira.
He is going to talk to you alittle bit about his family life
and things of why he kind ofchanged his perspective and his
health and for his family andespecially his son.
So I really can't wait for youguys to meet him and kind of
(00:23):
dive into where he would like totell you about his journey.
So thank you so much forjoining in on the show today.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Perfect.
Thank you so much, Damaris, forhaving me we appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
So tell the audience a little bit about yourself and
before they kind of go into whatyou know, why you're here and
what you want to discuss, Ofcourse.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Well, I'm Michael Pereira.
I'm the founder of the AutismVoyage.
I would say everything starteda couple of years back.
Came from corporate America,wanted to build that American
dream, what we call the Americandream in that moment, got
married, bought a house, gotpregnant with our first child,
christian, and we thought that,based upon that lifestyle, we,
(01:06):
you know, everything was goingto go that way.
But obviously life throws you acurve ball or so, and around one
year old, we started seeingsome symptoms that we knew that
needed to be addressed, you know.
And even though there was,there was some denial from our
side and we would just say youknow what?
(01:27):
I hope it's not what we thinkit is, let's give it some time.
Obviously, around that time wealso shared this information
with some family members and insome cases they would say hey,
don't worry, you were the samename.
You know that obviously thedenial, plus listening to a
possible best intention, youknow, opinion could
(01:51):
procrastinate early intervention.
In our case he was too young,one year old, it's still too
young, but I think it fueledeven more the denial.
So, long story short, covidcame, came by, was able to stay
here uh, not no travel, so a lotof the symptoms we saw just
(02:13):
reduced.
I would say why?
Maybe because I'm stricter thanmy wife was here at home.
All the attention was on him.
But when COVID released that Istarted traveling again, a lot
of the symptoms returned,returned, I would say, full
force.
He wasn't good with transitions, so, hitting his head against
(02:35):
the wall, tippy, toeing,aligning stuff, he started to
say a couple of words.
He just kind of almostregressed in some case.
You know all those symptoms.
You know it became evident thatwe needed to address it and and
and full forward.
And that's what we did.
Long story short, we were ableto obviously get him diagnosed,
(02:57):
started to obviously that phaseof denial now transitioned into
an acceptance phase.
We from my side try to see if Ican get another employer but to
do the same trouble less, butit wasn't the case and I started
also.
You know that through thatphase between denial and
(03:17):
acceptance I started askingmyself questions okay, if, if,
if he does say ever, likeeverybody says, he is diagnosed,
what happens if I pass away?
What happens if my wife passesaway?
Even though my mom is the bestgrandma there is, she physically
cannot take care of him rightso yeah, what do you?
(03:40):
so I started asking financialadvisors.
Everybody just want to sell mesomething, just wanted to
recruit me.
Very frustrating, so I justdeveloped my own.
We developed our own blog to beable to just share all the
topics any parent, we believe,would ask themselves.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Right and also provide.
That's what we're in.
I mean because I feel like soyou started a blog on financial
advisement or just for supportand financial advisement for
patients or families withautistic children.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
I think it was both at the same time, but more on
that.
We wanted the content therebecause we believe that we're
not I'm not salesy, I'm notpushy, so I believe, just
provide value and whenever aparent wants to talk about it,
see the seeds, the benefit.
I'm here, but we just dabbledinto topics around OK, maybe
overprotecting early signs.
(04:31):
Obviously, now the blog hasevolved a lot, but we just
wanted to be a resource forfamilies like ours.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
That's amazing.
And what have you found hasbeen the most impactful?
Not for yourself, first.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
First let's say that for you, with the starting the
blog of course I would say um,we use a lot of different
sources to create a blog,including ai, and it's helped us
a lot, even me, to learn abouttopic technology?
Speaker 1 (04:59):
yeah, of course yeah, I would.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
I would never, you know, think about and obviously,
by just being there being ableto write.
Also, it serves like a journal,I would say, for me.
Just okay, this is gathering mythoughts, being able to reflect
.
Oh, my God, believe in that.
There's always um a way tobetter the improvement in the
(05:29):
lifestyle.
And, uh, we wanted to talkabout topics that are often not
talked, so that's why we want touse it as a platform for that
and what have you found like?
Speaker 1 (05:39):
so you started this, you know, for your son and for
your family, obviously, newprofession, new job.
But what was it that was soimportant for you to discuss in
this blog about what youtransitioned to do for you and
your family?
Because obviously you were likeone, you were trying to, you
know, do something financiallyfor other families, right?
So that was one part of thetopic.
(06:01):
And for you, what did you do foryou, you do for your son, that
made it different that youwanted to discuss with other
people so that they felt likeyou, because you want to
advocate for other people.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Correct.
But the main thing was, damaris, that each time I would look
for a blog post, it was sevenyears old, it was very old
content.
I couldn't find a place thatwas new and if it was updated,
it was very short form content.
I couldn't find a place thatwas new and if it was updated,
it was very short form content,nothing, nothing.
A little bit more in deep dive.
(06:31):
So I say, okay, that's thefirst thing, there's nothing
right now.
I think parents, like me, havea lot of questions.
I'm a I'm a person that alwaysasks too many questions.
So I said, okay, that's thefirst thing.
Secondly, when we went throughall this phase of denial and
acceptance, we felt alone a lotof time because obviously, going
(06:55):
through that phase, you feeljudgment from family, friends,
society maybe not intentional,because they may know, but we
felt like that and we wanted tohave this safe space, if you
will, to be able to provideparents to feel OK.
Now, if Michael's went throughthese thoughts and I'm doing
(07:16):
this, you know there's somebodyout there that that understands.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
That makes a lot of sense.
What was your?
What helped your son the mostand for you guys as a family to
be healthier, or you know causeyou went to the doctors.
You've done therapy.
You did that for him.
Now he does.
He go to school.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
Yeah, yeah, he does.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
He's progressed a lot , that's great you do daily
activities with him to kind ofbe.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
You know a lot, a lot we believe in in being able to
provide an environment that veryactive.
We, at one point we got to behonest.
We gave him a lot of tablets,of tablets.
(08:01):
We gave him a lot of like tvcartoons, just because he it was
so much for us that even for meto take a call, I would just
put, give him my another phoneand you know, just to see a way
to calm him down because theenergy was too much.
But, uh, we noticed that itbecame addictive, it became his.
Even if we would take away thetablet, for example, he would
get aggressive.
So, um, behavior started tochange and I said you know what,
(08:23):
with my wife, we need to dosomething.
So we, you know, opted to beable to do physical activity.
Um, so a lot of things happened.
Even we started walking as well.
So we did as a family activity.
So what we're doing is he was aum he.
We we got him into soccer atone point started to look for
(08:43):
ways and to do that I can agreewith you on that.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Like my son is little and I mean it's so much easier
to you know with these screensand stuff to just okay, here you
go.
And they, they need to beactive, they need to get their
energy out, whatever, whetherthey're diagnosed with something
or not, these kids need to beactive.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
They need to get their energy out.
Whether they're diagnosed withsomething or not, these kids
need to be addicted to thesetablets.
I know.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
So I get you, I totally get you.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Yeah, Even when I was raised as a child, we were
always on the street.
We were always, you know hereBike riding outside.
Correct, correct, correct.
So we started in soccer,correct?
So, um, we started in soccer.
It wasn't good for us becausehe has, he had elopement, which
is just running away with no, no, looking back.
So when you're in the openfield and there is, he has
(09:28):
elopement, it's dangerous, right, because he just runs, uh, like
for his gum, uh.
So that wasn't good.
Then we put him into swimming,but he saw more as a play date,
didn't follow instructions, moreas a party cannonball and it
wasn't working.
So we got him into jujitsu,being disciplined.
(09:58):
He wasn't sociable, he wasalways in the corner.
Now he's starting to socializewith other kids and when they
say sociable, he would say hi toanybody.
But when, if it's a, if it's ina group setting, you would
always see him trying to go intoa corner or something.
Now we see him involved, we seehim discipline, we see him
imitating other children.
So if everybody's in a line,he's in the line.
(10:18):
If everybody's doing oneexercise, he's doing it as well.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
So for us, physical activity, especially jiu-jitsu,
was a game changer for us oh,that's really interesting
because I mean so he did youfind that it caught like he was.
He shows up, he puts hisuniform on, he he gets into like
a pattern and he was able toreally get into it Everything.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
He goes to school and each morning before going to
school he's always hey jujitsuho exercise.
You see him.
He's looking forward for that,and for us that's a huge
blessing.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
And does he do that every day or?
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Every day, every day, every day.
Except weekends.
Except for the weekends, yeah,that's amazing, that's amazing.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
So you found something for your son to kind
of really open up and grow andthen you started this blog and
business and being a financialadvisor for other families with
autistic children or specialneeds children.
Yeah, I think that's whatspecial needs people that may
(11:23):
need more support than whentheir kids get older.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Yeah, the thing is, at the end of the day, I don't
have any special product or anyspecial sauce.
You know, secret sauce it'ssometimes social media sometimes
exaggerates something to giveyou a hook.
Secret sauce Sometimes socialmedia sometimes exaggerate
something to give you a hook.
My main thing was when Istarted looking for financial
(11:47):
advice was I wanted to thinkabout all scenarios, not
necessarily if I pass away.
So, for example, a lot ofpeople talk about, hey, buy this
term or life insurance If youpass your family's a millionaire
.
I would say, yeah, but what ifI don't pass away?
What if I get sick?
What if I get cancer, stroke,get into a car accident and I'm
two years out?
A term will not do anything forme because I didn't pass away.
(12:11):
What type of strategy can Icreate?
Speaker 1 (12:15):
because you have your son to take care of.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Correct.
A Christian depends on me ahundred percent.
I don't know until when, ifsomething happens to me while
I'm living, I need to have astrategy, something that
replaces my income or gives me alump sum, and it was very
difficult to find somebody whocan talk about that.
I think that's very important.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
I'm, I'm.
I'm just saying in general.
I think that you know peopleare becoming elderly.
We're not discussing, you know,changes.
The kid, you know your child,you know you've had to find a
different way for him to grow abetter life, but you don't know
how he's.
How old is he now?
He's seven, so seven.
So I mean he still has manyyears to you know, many years of
learning, and he may do verywell, may live on his own too
(13:02):
and stuff.
But I think, like you said,having that backup plan and then
being um an advocate resourcefor so many other families,
that's important, um and thenthis could, um, you know I feel
like there's many um individualsthat could you know reach out
to you that need your supportand that you know business, and
you know I feel like there'smany individuals that could you
know reach out to you, that needyour support and that you know
business, and you know, on bothends Is this, you know, I think
(13:25):
it has many opportunities foryou.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Yeah, even for long-term care, like, for
example, a lot of people say,hey, how do you want to?
How do you see yourself in 20years of retirement in a, in a
beach, with a car?
I say I don't know.
I don't know, I get it.
You know, it's very difficultfor me to see myself that way if
I'm still planning now becauseI don't know what's going to
happen.
So something that I wanted totalk about at that point is long
(13:52):
term care, because if I'm 80and Christians, I don't know 30
something, 40, and I need careand he may not be able to
support me, assisting livingfacilities, nursing homes are
becoming very expensive.
So we need to think about, hey,if your son or daughter may not
be able to support you.
(14:13):
I'm from Puerto Rico.
In Puerto Rico you see a lot offamilies living together,
grandparents, everybody in thesame home.
But here in the States there'sagain living facilities, nursing
homes, and they are becomingvery expensive.
So you need to have thatconversation about, hey, what if
post-retirement?
How can you start now havingthose conversations, because you
(14:36):
don't know if you might needhelp on those later years.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
That is like so I mean it's.
It's something we don't alwaysthink about, right, and the fact
that our health, it's it'slifespan.
So here we're trying to.
You know, you're trying to growyour child to be the healthiest
that he can be, so they be themost optimal, but then you're
also have to additionally thinkabout your long-term.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Yeah, which is not talked about.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Like two, two aspects of this.
It's one you're trying tofinancially help individuals.
Think about both of that so oneto grow your son to be healthy
and happy.
And then one now, how do youlive?
As cause, you probably want tomake sure you're living as long
and healthy as possible too.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
But you know then, but also you're also thinking of
it.
Well, what if something?
You always want to have thewhat if right.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
The just.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
I don't think people are in the what if stage.
To be truthful, I mean.
I'm, you know, just in myhealth alone.
I was grateful to have that.
You know, just be like okay, Iwant to my long span, lifespan.
I want to change and have adifferent perspective.
So you're not only trying toget yourself healthy for your
family ask you for questions.
What do you think is the majoradvice that you give them, like
(16:00):
or question what's the firstquestion people usually ask you
when, when they're reaching outto you?
Speaker 2 (16:04):
where do I start?
Um?
And at the end of the day, Ionly do insurance planning.
I don't do any type ofinvestments.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
But my suggestions though I feel like I think
people need insurance, so 100because you're building a
foundation right, the plan B.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
If something were to happen, you're covered.
But I would say the majorityasks where do I start?
And I would just say, gainingclarity, like you want to know
what's coming in, what's goingout.
I've had conversations withfamilies that when they really
dig in, they have two accountsof Netflix.
They have to.
You know it's just digging inyour current state, because if
(16:44):
you already know what you havetoday, where you are, it's going
to be very, very easy to makean informed decision as of where
do you want to go.
So it's just understanding yourcurrent state.
If you have any type ofcoverage, if you have an
employer coverage, how much isthat?
Just understanding what'scoming in as an income, what's
going out, how are your expenses.
(17:05):
You need to understand itregardless, because sometimes
there's a lot of expenses thatgo into a credit card.
You're not thinking about it,you're not monitoring it.
You know it's just gainingclarity.
That's the first thing I wouldsuggest.
And secondly, not procrastinate.
You know there's a lot ofpeople who think that they have
(17:26):
time and as time passes by,obviously the risk is higher,
the price gets higher, right?
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Oh, that's true, To put into these insurance plans
so that they're more prepared.
Have you found that there's acertain time frame, like you
recommend, people starting when,as soon as they know that they
may have a disabled child or aspecial needs child?
Or just do it because you'rejust trying to plan?
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Yeah, I would say, at least start with a conversation
with a professional.
It doesn't mean that you needto commit Just by having a
conversation with me, doesn'tmean that you're going into the
call thinking that you're goingto get invoiced or, you know,
into an agreement.
You know, at the end of the day, it's having those
conversations because, forexample, the other day I talked
(18:18):
with someone oh, I already havea policy.
I said, perfect.
Now one question.
It means you're proactive.
That's amazing.
Does that policy also consideryou're a guardian?
He's like what do you mean?
Well, if you pass away and thatguardian needs to assume
responsibility for your child,they may need to leave work and
become a caregiver.
(18:38):
Does that policy consider anincome for that future guardian,
just in case?
And that type of conversation.
We're not talking about product, we're talking about scenarios,
we're talking about what ifs.
And that's the type ofconversation when I say
everything starts with theconversations to be able to talk
about all these scenarios, tobe able to just, you know,
(19:00):
bulletproof whatever you'retrying to do.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
I mean, it's not only important to understand the
future stuff, but I wanted toask you kind of a deep dive in
the sense of for your health.
When you were kind of goinginto these insurance policies
and you're looking into, likewhat do I do, were you really
like, oh my God, I could dietomorrow.
(19:24):
Or you were like, okay, whatcan I do to make sure I live
like until like I'm 90?
Or were you just like, okay, Igot it.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
I got to just no, my, my, my thought process at that
moment was thinking the worst,Like oh my God, what am I going
to do if I pass away tomorrow onan airplane because I was
traveling?
What happens to my wife?
Because her health was at thatmoment was kind of, I would say,
sensitive.
(19:51):
Okay, and you know, we thoughtabout the worst.
I wasn't thinking about, okay,I want longevity, I wanted I was
thinking about the worst andstart doing a diet and start
changing because I want first, Iwant to be present, but I want
to also be healthy and andthat's where we started doing
(20:14):
some changes but at that pointwe thought about the worst,
which I assume.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
But then in a way it impacted you to transform and to
pivot in I mean, I'm not sayingbusiness, but to pivot into
this blog.
It's an advocacy plus business,you know it's not just one,
it's not really full.
I mean, yes, there is anadvisement there, but then
there's the point of givingpeople information that they
need.
I mean that's why I started mypodcast.
(20:42):
I mean to give just the passionproject, for you know people to
learn and more information on adifferent way of thinking and
health and you know, integratingyour conventional and your you
know holistic thoughts.
So get it.
I get where you're coming fromand wherever that turns for you.
Um, what, um, if you could youknow, before we go, today you
(21:03):
know, what insight or tip wouldyou like to leave the audience?
One about yourself in thisjourney, and to one that you've
that's helped you with you andyour, your, uh, your son with
you and your, your, uh, your son.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Yeah, I would.
There's a couple um, I wouldsay um it it's hard to be able
to function while beingexhausted and um, I think it's
good for parents to understandin this podcast that they're not
alone, that a lot of thethoughts that may be going
through their mind orfrustrations, you know we all go
through it and that's why oneof the thoughts that may be
going through their mind orfrustrations, you know we all go
through it and that's why oneof the reasons why we developed
(21:42):
the blog is to, you know, justshare awareness that there's
always a community that theycould build.
In our case, obviously, yourcircle becomes smaller, but just
try to build that circle thatsuits you.
Always try to.
You know, in our case, wedidn't want to go into the
(22:03):
victim mentality, so we justsaid OK, there's a quote by a
coach that would say hey, it'snot your fault, it's not your
fault.
Ok, it's not your fault, butit's your problem.
In our case, fault.
Okay, it's not your fault, butit's your problem.
In our case, we would just sayit's not our fault, but it's our
responsibility and let's try tomake us as positive as possible
(22:25):
to be able to not only providethe support he needs, but for
our own mental health, tounderstand that this is a
process.
We are not, we just try toadapt activity to be able to
help us.
There's nothing that I don'tyou cannot go wrong by doing
activity right, like, forexample, in our case.
(22:47):
That's why we inclined towardsputting in jiu-jitsu, walking
every morning, eating healthier.
We didn't want to go inclinedtowards the medical part of you
know, just bombarding everybody,even ourselves, with pills or
anything.
Just, we don't agree with that.
Anything can change.
But as of the moment, we're100% convinced that what we're
(23:11):
doing is what we believe is theright way, which is providing a
good environment, healthyenvironment and everything we're
doing and we're seeing theresults.
So that's why and we're notlooking for perfection, we're
just looking for progress forall of us.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
So I would say that oh, that's great, I mean, I
think it's.
I mean, like you said, it isprogress, right, it's a work in.
I think it's.
I mean, like you said it's it's, it is progress, right, it's a
work in progress.
It's a little bit, little bylittle, and then your, your
insights in one day could helpsomeone else for another time,
you know, whether it'sfinancially or just, you know,
getting them to get through theday.
You know, with their, theirlittle one or their older one
(23:52):
could even just be an adult andthey're just finding out.
Hey, I have other options outthere.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
Yeah, and for example , in our case we have a little
one, amanda.
She's three and you know she'staking speech now she hasn't
been diagnosed.
But you can see also thatthere's factors that you're
going to see along the way whenyou have a child that has autism
or any other diagnosis and achild that doesn't.
(24:17):
And in our case, for example,we're trying to balance out how
we raise them to be able toinclude everybody the same way,
trying to not show any type ofnot be more empathetic with
Christian and not Amanda or viceversa.
We're trying to remain equal.
But at the same time we seestuff like, for example,
(24:38):
amanda's in speech now, becauseChristian at one point was
nonverbal.
He started talking but notconversational.
Obviously that goes into hertoo, because she doesn't have
anybody to talk to.
So her delays, we believe, comefrom that.
So again, but but we're okaywith that.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Yeah, I mean, once you put her in more schooling
and work, you know more socialevents, and it's not a little.
You know it doesn't mean it's adifferent child.
Yeah, correct.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
So we're not worried Again.
We're just pacing ourselveswith what we need to do and just
provide, be a support systemfor them.
So, no, that's important and Ithink we need to do and just
provide, be a support system forthem.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
so no, that's it's important and I think people
need to.
You know, keep an open mindright 100 yeah, I really
appreciate you being on the show.
I mean, is there anything elseyou'd like to leave the audience
before you go?
Speaker 2 (25:30):
no, no thank you?
Speaker 1 (25:32):
how can they reach you first?
What's your blog?
Speaker 2 (25:34):
Perfect.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Yeah, it's wwwtheautismvoyagecom and I'll
put that on the in the shownotes.
Okay.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Yeah, they're going to see the blogs, they're going.
They're going to be able tosubscribe to our newsletter,
which goes out weekly providingpractical tips for parents, and,
yeah, everything's there.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
So, by all means, and then also the one for your
financial resources.
Of what website is that?
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Well, it's there.
It's there, Okay, our services.
Yeah, there's a tab that saysour services and you can see
everything there.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Oh, perfect, okay, All right, so I'll have that in
the show notes for everyone too,and I greatly appreciate you
being on and thank you so muchfor your time.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
No, thank you.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
And thank you guys for joining in to the Mindfully
Integrative Show and make sureyou make it a mindful one every
day.
Hi, how are you?
This is Dr Damaris MariaGrossman and this is the
Mindfully Integrative Show and Iwant you guys to meet a
wonderful guest, michael Pereira.
He is going to talk to you alittle bit about his family life
and things of why he kind ofchanged his perspective and his
health and for his family andespecially his son.
So I really can't wait for youguys to meet him and kind of
(00:23):
dive into where he would like totell you about his journey.
So thank you so much forjoining in on the show today.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Perfect.
Thank you so much, Damaris, forhaving me we appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
So tell the audience a little bit about yourself and
before they kind of go into whatyou know, why you're here and
what you want to discuss, Ofcourse.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Well, I'm Michael Pereira.
I'm the founder of the AutismVoyage.
I would say everything starteda couple of years back.
Came from corporate America,wanted to build that American
dream, what we call the Americandream in that moment, got
married, bought a house, gotpregnant with our first child,
christian, and we thought that,based upon that lifestyle, we,
(01:06):
you know, everything was goingto go that way.
But obviously life throws you acurve ball or so, and around one
year old, we started seeingsome symptoms that we knew that
needed to be addressed, you know.
And even though there was,there was some denial from our
side and we would just say youknow what?
(01:27):
I hope it's not what we thinkit is, let's give it some time.
Obviously, around that time wealso shared this information
with some family members and insome cases they would say hey,
don't worry, you were the samename.
You know that obviously thedenial, plus listening to a
possible best intention, youknow, opinion could
(01:51):
procrastinate early intervention.
In our case he was too young,one year old, it's still too
young, but I think it fueledeven more the denial.
So, long story short, covidcame, came by, was able to stay
here uh, not no travel, so a lotof the symptoms we saw just
(02:13):
reduced.
I would say why?
Maybe because I'm stricter thanmy wife was here at home.
All the attention was on him.
But when COVID released that Istarted traveling again, a lot
of the symptoms returned,returned, I would say, full
force.
He wasn't good with transitions, so, hitting his head against
(02:35):
the wall, tippy, toeing,aligning stuff, he started to
say a couple of words.
He just kind of almostregressed in some case.
You know all those symptoms.
You know it became evident thatwe needed to address it and and
and full forward.
And that's what we did.
Long story short, we were ableto obviously get him diagnosed,
(02:57):
started to obviously that phaseof denial now transitioned into
an acceptance phase.
We from my side try to see if Ican get another employer but to
do the same trouble less, butit wasn't the case and I started
also.
You know that through thatphase between denial and
(03:17):
acceptance I started askingmyself questions okay, if, if,
if he does say ever, likeeverybody says, he is diagnosed,
what happens if I pass away?
What happens if my wife passesaway?
Even though my mom is the bestgrandma there is, she physically
cannot take care of him rightso yeah, what do you?
(03:40):
so I started asking financialadvisors.
Everybody just want to sell mesomething, just wanted to
recruit me.
Very frustrating, so I justdeveloped my own.
We developed our own blog to beable to just share all the
topics any parent, we believe,would ask themselves.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Right and also provide.
That's what we're in.
I mean because I feel like soyou started a blog on financial
advisement or just for supportand financial advisement for
patients or families withautistic children.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
I think it was both at the same time, but more on
that.
We wanted the content therebecause we believe that we're
not I'm not salesy, I'm notpushy, so I believe, just
provide value and whenever aparent wants to talk about it,
see the seeds, the benefit.
I'm here, but we just dabbledinto topics around OK, maybe
overprotecting early signs.
(04:31):
Obviously, now the blog hasevolved a lot, but we just
wanted to be a resource forfamilies like ours.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
That's amazing.
And what have you found hasbeen the most impactful?
Not for yourself, first.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
First let's say that for you, with the starting the
blog of course I would say um,we use a lot of different
sources to create a blog,including ai, and it's helped us
a lot, even me, to learn abouttopic technology?
Speaker 1 (04:59):
yeah, of course yeah, I would.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
I would never, you know, think about and obviously,
by just being there being ableto write.
Also, it serves like a journal,I would say, for me.
Just okay, this is gathering mythoughts, being able to reflect
.
Oh, my God, believe in that.
There's always um a way tobetter the improvement in the
(05:29):
lifestyle.
And, uh, we wanted to talkabout topics that are often not
talked, so that's why we want touse it as a platform for that
and what have you found like?
Speaker 1 (05:39):
so you started this, you know, for your son and for
your family, obviously, newprofession, new job.
But what was it that was soimportant for you to discuss in
this blog about what youtransitioned to do for you and
your family?
Because obviously you were likeone, you were trying to, you
know, do something financiallyfor other families, right?
So that was one part of thetopic.
(06:01):
And for you, what did you do foryou, you do for your son, that
made it different that youwanted to discuss with other
people so that they felt likeyou, because you want to
advocate for other people.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Correct.
But the main thing was, damaris, that each time I would look
for a blog post, it was sevenyears old, it was very old
content.
I couldn't find a place thatwas new and if it was updated,
it was very short form content.
I couldn't find a place thatwas new and if it was updated,
it was very short form content,nothing, nothing.
A little bit more in deep dive.
(06:31):
So I say, okay, that's thefirst thing, there's nothing
right now.
I think parents, like me, havea lot of questions.
I'm a I'm a person that alwaysasks too many questions.
So I said, okay, that's thefirst thing.
Secondly, when we went throughall this phase of denial and
acceptance, we felt alone a lotof time because obviously, going
(06:55):
through that phase, you feeljudgment from family, friends,
society maybe not intentional,because they may know, but we
felt like that and we wanted tohave this safe space, if you
will, to be able to provideparents to feel OK.
Now, if Michael's went throughthese thoughts and I'm doing
(07:16):
this, you know there's somebodyout there that that understands.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
That makes a lot of sense.
What was your?
What helped your son the mostand for you guys as a family to
be healthier, or you know causeyou went to the doctors.
You've done therapy.
You did that for him.
Now he does.
He go to school.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
Yeah, yeah, he does.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
He's progressed a lot , that's great you do daily
activities with him to kind ofbe.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
You know a lot, a lot we believe in in being able to
provide an environment that veryactive.
We, at one point we got to behonest.
We gave him a lot of tablets,of tablets.
(08:01):
We gave him a lot of like tvcartoons, just because he it was
so much for us that even for meto take a call, I would just
put, give him my another phoneand you know, just to see a way
to calm him down because theenergy was too much.
But, uh, we noticed that itbecame addictive, it became his.
Even if we would take away thetablet, for example, he would
get aggressive.
So, um, behavior started tochange and I said you know what,
(08:23):
with my wife, we need to dosomething.
So we, you know, opted to beable to do physical activity.
Um, so a lot of things happened.
Even we started walking as well.
So we did as a family activity.
So what we're doing is he was aum he.
We we got him into soccer atone point started to look for
(08:43):
ways and to do that I can agreewith you on that.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Like my son is little and I mean it's so much easier
to you know with these screensand stuff to just okay, here you
go.
And they, they need to beactive, they need to get their
energy out, whatever, whetherthey're diagnosed with something
or not, these kids need to beactive.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
They need to get their energy out.
Whether they're diagnosed withsomething or not, these kids
need to be addicted to thesetablets.
I know.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
So I get you, I totally get you.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Yeah, Even when I was raised as a child, we were
always on the street.
We were always, you know hereBike riding outside.
Correct, correct, correct.
So we started in soccer,correct?
So, um, we started in soccer.
It wasn't good for us becausehe has, he had elopement, which
is just running away with no, no, looking back.
So when you're in the openfield and there is, he has
(09:28):
elopement, it's dangerous, right, because he just runs, uh, like
for his gum, uh.
So that wasn't good.
Then we put him into swimming,but he saw more as a play date,
didn't follow instructions, moreas a party cannonball and it
wasn't working.
So we got him into jujitsu,being disciplined.
(09:58):
He wasn't sociable, he wasalways in the corner.
Now he's starting to socializewith other kids and when they
say sociable, he would say hi toanybody.
But when, if it's a, if it's ina group setting, you would
always see him trying to go intoa corner or something.
Now we see him involved, we seehim discipline, we see him
imitating other children.
So if everybody's in a line,he's in the line.
(10:18):
If everybody's doing oneexercise, he's doing it as well.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
So for us, physical activity, especially jiu-jitsu,
was a game changer for us oh,that's really interesting
because I mean so he did youfind that it caught like he was.
He shows up, he puts hisuniform on, he he gets into like
a pattern and he was able toreally get into it Everything.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
He goes to school and each morning before going to
school he's always hey jujitsuho exercise.
You see him.
He's looking forward for that,and for us that's a huge
blessing.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
And does he do that every day or?
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Every day, every day, every day.
Except weekends.
Except for the weekends, yeah,that's amazing, that's amazing.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
So you found something for your son to kind
of really open up and grow andthen you started this blog and
business and being a financialadvisor for other families with
autistic children or specialneeds children.
Yeah, I think that's whatspecial needs people that may
(11:23):
need more support than whentheir kids get older.
Speaker 2 (11:27):
Yeah, the thing is, at the end of the day, I don't
have any special product or anyspecial sauce.
You know, secret sauce it'ssometimes social media sometimes
exaggerates something to giveyou a hook.
Secret sauce Sometimes socialmedia sometimes exaggerate
something to give you a hook.
My main thing was when Istarted looking for financial
(11:47):
advice was I wanted to thinkabout all scenarios, not
necessarily if I pass away.
So, for example, a lot ofpeople talk about, hey, buy this
term or life insurance If youpass your family's a millionaire
.
I would say, yeah, but what ifI don't pass away?
What if I get sick?
What if I get cancer, stroke,get into a car accident and I'm
two years out?
A term will not do anything forme because I didn't pass away.
(12:11):
What type of strategy can Icreate?
Speaker 1 (12:15):
because you have your son to take care of.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Correct.
A Christian depends on me ahundred percent.
I don't know until when, ifsomething happens to me while
I'm living, I need to have astrategy, something that
replaces my income or gives me alump sum, and it was very
difficult to find somebody whocan talk about that.
I think that's very important.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
I'm, I'm.
I'm just saying in general.
I think that you know peopleare becoming elderly.
We're not discussing, you know,changes.
The kid, you know your child,you know you've had to find a
different way for him to grow abetter life, but you don't know
how he's.
How old is he now?
He's seven, so seven.
So I mean he still has manyyears to you know, many years of
learning, and he may do verywell, may live on his own too
(13:02):
and stuff.
But I think, like you said,having that backup plan and then
being um an advocate resourcefor so many other families,
that's important, um and thenthis could, um, you know I feel
like there's many um individualsthat could you know reach out
to you that need your supportand that you know business, and
you know I feel like there'smany individuals that could you
know reach out to you, that needyour support and that you know
business, and you know, on bothends Is this, you know, I think
(13:25):
it has many opportunities foryou.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Yeah, even for long-term care, like, for
example, a lot of people say,hey, how do you want to?
How do you see yourself in 20years of retirement in a, in a
beach, with a car?
I say I don't know.
I don't know, I get it.
You know, it's very difficultfor me to see myself that way if
I'm still planning now becauseI don't know what's going to
happen.
So something that I wanted totalk about at that point is long
(13:52):
term care, because if I'm 80and Christians, I don't know 30
something, 40, and I need careand he may not be able to
support me, assisting livingfacilities, nursing homes are
becoming very expensive.
So we need to think about, hey,if your son or daughter may not
be able to support you.
(14:13):
I'm from Puerto Rico.
In Puerto Rico you see a lot offamilies living together,
grandparents, everybody in thesame home.
But here in the States there'sagain living facilities, nursing
homes, and they are becomingvery expensive.
So you need to have thatconversation about, hey, what if
post-retirement?
How can you start now havingthose conversations, because you
(14:36):
don't know if you might needhelp on those later years.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
That is like so I mean it's.
It's something we don't alwaysthink about, right, and the fact
that our health, it's it'slifespan.
So here we're trying to.
You know, you're trying to growyour child to be the healthiest
that he can be, so they be themost optimal, but then you're
also have to additionally thinkabout your long-term.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Yeah, which is not talked about.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Like two, two aspects of this.
It's one you're trying tofinancially help individuals.
Think about both of that so oneto grow your son to be healthy
and happy.
And then one now, how do youlive?
As cause, you probably want tomake sure you're living as long
and healthy as possible too.
Speaker 2 (15:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
But you know then, but also you're also thinking of
it.
Well, what if something?
You always want to have thewhat if right.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
The just.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
I don't think people are in the what if stage.
To be truthful, I mean.
I'm, you know, just in myhealth alone.
I was grateful to have that.
You know, just be like okay, Iwant to my long span, lifespan.
I want to change and have adifferent perspective.
So you're not only trying toget yourself healthy for your
family ask you for questions.
What do you think is the majoradvice that you give them, like
(16:00):
or question what's the firstquestion people usually ask you
when, when they're reaching outto you?
Speaker 2 (16:04):
where do I start?
Um?
And at the end of the day, Ionly do insurance planning.
I don't do any type ofinvestments.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
But my suggestions though I feel like I think
people need insurance, so 100because you're building a
foundation right, the plan B.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
If something were to happen, you're covered.
But I would say the majorityasks where do I start?
And I would just say, gainingclarity, like you want to know
what's coming in, what's goingout.
I've had conversations withfamilies that when they really
dig in, they have two accountsof Netflix.
They have to.
You know it's just digging inyour current state, because if
(16:44):
you already know what you havetoday, where you are, it's going
to be very, very easy to makean informed decision as of where
do you want to go.
So it's just understanding yourcurrent state.
If you have any type ofcoverage, if you have an
employer coverage, how much isthat?
Just understanding what'scoming in as an income, what's
going out, how are your expenses.
(17:05):
You need to understand itregardless, because sometimes
there's a lot of expenses thatgo into a credit card.
You're not thinking about it,you're not monitoring it.
You know it's just gainingclarity.
That's the first thing I wouldsuggest.
And secondly, not procrastinate.
You know there's a lot ofpeople who think that they have
(17:26):
time and as time passes by,obviously the risk is higher,
the price gets higher, right?
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Oh, that's true, To put into these insurance plans
so that they're more prepared.
Have you found that there's acertain time frame, like you
recommend, people starting when,as soon as they know that they
may have a disabled child or aspecial needs child?
Or just do it because you'rejust trying to plan?
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Yeah, I would say, at least start with a conversation
with a professional.
It doesn't mean that you needto commit Just by having a
conversation with me, doesn'tmean that you're going into the
call thinking that you're goingto get invoiced or, you know,
into an agreement.
You know, at the end of the day, it's having those
conversations because, forexample, the other day I talked
(18:18):
with someone oh, I already havea policy.
I said, perfect.
Now one question.
It means you're proactive.
That's amazing.
Does that policy also consideryou're a guardian?
He's like what do you mean?
Well, if you pass away and thatguardian needs to assume
responsibility for your child,they may need to leave work and
become a caregiver.
(18:38):
Does that policy consider anincome for that future guardian,
just in case?
And that type of conversation.
We're not talking about product, we're talking about scenarios,
we're talking about what ifs.
And that's the type ofconversation when I say
everything starts with theconversations to be able to talk
about all these scenarios, tobe able to just, you know,
(19:00):
bulletproof whatever you'retrying to do.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
I mean, it's not only important to understand the
future stuff, but I wanted toask you kind of a deep dive in
the sense of for your health.
When you were kind of goinginto these insurance policies
and you're looking into, likewhat do I do, were you really
like, oh my God, I could dietomorrow.
(19:24):
Or you were like, okay, whatcan I do to make sure I live
like until like I'm 90?
Or were you just like, okay, Igot it.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
I got to just no, my, my, my thought process at that
moment was thinking the worst,Like oh my God, what am I going
to do if I pass away tomorrow onan airplane because I was
traveling?
What happens to my wife?
Because her health was at thatmoment was kind of, I would say,
sensitive.
(19:51):
Okay, and you know, we thoughtabout the worst.
I wasn't thinking about, okay,I want longevity, I wanted I was
thinking about the worst andstart doing a diet and start
changing because I want first, Iwant to be present, but I want
to also be healthy and andthat's where we started doing
(20:14):
some changes but at that pointwe thought about the worst,
which I assume.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
But then in a way it impacted you to transform and to
pivot in I mean, I'm not sayingbusiness, but to pivot into
this blog.
It's an advocacy plus business,you know it's not just one,
it's not really full.
I mean, yes, there is anadvisement there, but then
there's the point of givingpeople information that they
need.
I mean that's why I started mypodcast.
(20:42):
I mean to give just the passionproject, for you know people to
learn and more information on adifferent way of thinking and
health and you know, integratingyour conventional and your you
know holistic thoughts.
So get it.
I get where you're coming fromand wherever that turns for you.
Um, what, um, if you could youknow, before we go, today you
(21:03):
know, what insight or tip wouldyou like to leave the audience?
One about yourself in thisjourney, and to one that you've
that's helped you with you andyour, your, uh, your son with
you and your, your, uh, your son.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Yeah, I would.
There's a couple um, I wouldsay um it it's hard to be able
to function while beingexhausted and um, I think it's
good for parents to understandin this podcast that they're not
alone, that a lot of thethoughts that may be going
through their mind orfrustrations, you know we all go
through it and that's why oneof the thoughts that may be
going through their mind orfrustrations, you know we all go
through it and that's why oneof the reasons why we developed
(21:42):
the blog is to, you know, justshare awareness that there's
always a community that theycould build.
In our case, obviously, yourcircle becomes smaller, but just
try to build that circle thatsuits you.
Always try to.
You know, in our case, wedidn't want to go into the
(22:03):
victim mentality, so we justsaid OK, there's a quote by a
coach that would say hey, it'snot your fault, it's not your
fault.
Ok, it's not your fault, butit's your problem.
In our case, fault.
Okay, it's not your fault, butit's your problem.
In our case, we would just sayit's not our fault, but it's our
responsibility and let's try tomake us as positive as possible
(22:25):
to be able to not only providethe support he needs, but for
our own mental health, tounderstand that this is a
process.
We are not, we just try toadapt activity to be able to
help us.
There's nothing that I don'tyou cannot go wrong by doing
activity right, like, forexample, in our case.
(22:47):
That's why we inclined towardsputting in jiu-jitsu, walking
every morning, eating healthier.
We didn't want to go inclinedtowards the medical part of you
know, just bombarding everybody,even ourselves, with pills or
anything.
Just, we don't agree with that.
Anything can change.
But as of the moment, we're100% convinced that what we're
(23:11):
doing is what we believe is theright way, which is providing a
good environment, healthyenvironment and everything we're
doing and we're seeing theresults.
So that's why and we're notlooking for perfection, we're
just looking for progress forall of us.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
So I would say that oh, that's great, I mean, I
think it's.
I mean, like you said, it isprogress, right, it's a work in.
I think it's.
I mean, like you said it's it's, it is progress, right, it's a
work in progress.
It's a little bit, little bylittle, and then your, your
insights in one day could helpsomeone else for another time,
you know, whether it'sfinancially or just, you know,
getting them to get through theday.
You know, with their, theirlittle one or their older one
(23:52):
could even just be an adult andthey're just finding out.
Hey, I have other options outthere.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
Yeah, and for example , in our case we have a little
one, amanda.
She's three and you know she'staking speech now she hasn't
been diagnosed.
But you can see also thatthere's factors that you're
going to see along the way whenyou have a child that has autism
or any other diagnosis and achild that doesn't.
(24:17):
And in our case, for example,we're trying to balance out how
we raise them to be able toinclude everybody the same way,
trying to not show any type ofnot be more empathetic with
Christian and not Amanda or viceversa.
We're trying to remain equal.
But at the same time we seestuff like, for example,
(24:38):
amanda's in speech now, becauseChristian at one point was
nonverbal.
He started talking but notconversational.
Obviously that goes into hertoo, because she doesn't have
anybody to talk to.
So her delays, we believe, comefrom that.
So again, but but we're okaywith that.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Yeah, I mean, once you put her in more schooling
and work, you know more socialevents, and it's not a little.
You know it doesn't mean it's adifferent child.
Yeah, correct.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
So we're not worried Again.
We're just pacing ourselveswith what we need to do and just
provide, be a support systemfor them.
So, no, that's important and Ithink we need to do and just
provide, be a support system forthem.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
so no, that's it's important and I think people
need to.
You know, keep an open mindright 100 yeah, I really
appreciate you being on the show.
I mean, is there anything elseyou'd like to leave the audience
before you go?
Speaker 2 (25:30):
no, no thank you?
Speaker 1 (25:32):
how can they reach you first?
What's your blog?
Speaker 2 (25:34):
Perfect.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Yeah, it's wwwtheautismvoyagecom and I'll
put that on the in the shownotes.
Okay.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Yeah, they're going to see the blogs, they're going.
They're going to be able tosubscribe to our newsletter,
which goes out weekly providingpractical tips for parents, and,
yeah, everything's there.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
So, by all means, and then also the one for your
financial resources.
Of what website is that?
Speaker 2 (25:58):
Well, it's there.
It's there, Okay, our services.
Yeah, there's a tab that saysour services and you can see
everything there.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Oh, perfect, okay, All right, so I'll have that in
the show notes for everyone too,and I greatly appreciate you
being on and thank you so muchfor your time.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
No, thank you.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
And thank you guys for joining in to the Mindfully
Integrative Show and make sureyou make it a mindful one every
day.
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