September 16, 2025 • 28 mins
What happens when a teenager who once couldn't see past Tuesday discovers the power to shape her future? In this deeply moving conversation, 17-year-old Meera Shah reveals her remarkable journey from debilitating anxiety and depression to newfound hope and purpose.
Meera candidly shares how perfectionism and academic pressure once consumed her life, leading to severe mental health struggles that left her questioning her worth and future. "I didn't know how to see myself past the next two days," she admits, describing a time when simply waking up each morning felt like an insurmountable battle.
The transformation she's undergone in just one year is nothing short of extraordinary. Through therapy, intentional relationship-building, and radical changes to her self-care practices, Meera has rediscovered joy and possibility. Her decision to make eight hours of sleep "non-negotiable" symbolizes a profound shift in priorities – from achievement at all costs to balanced wellbeing.
What makes this conversation especially valuable is Meera's insights into the challenges facing her generation. She offers a nuanced perspective on how social media functions as both a numbing escape mechanism and a source of unhealthy comparison, while addressing the toxic competitive culture that pushes teens to breaking points. Her advice to peers struggling with similar issues is refreshingly practical: focus on yourself, make certain aspects of self-care non-negotiable, and remember that you don't need to do everything at once.
Perhaps most powerful is Meera's message about determination. As host Fatima Bey emphasizes in the episode's mind-shifting moment: "Once you make the decision that you are not going to stay there... that is when change will happen." This conversation offers hope and actionable wisdom for anyone – teenager or adult – who's ready to make that decision for themselves.
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https://www.instagram.com/meerasprints/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Fatima Bey (00:04):
This is MindShift Power Podcast, the number one
critically acclaimed podcastwhere we have raw, unfiltered
conversations that shapetomorrow.
I'm your host, Fatima Bey, theMindShifter, and welcome
everyone.
Today we have with us MeeraShah.
(00:25):
She is 17.
She is out of New Jersey in theUSA and she has been on here
before, so I brought her backbecause she has a lot to say
that I want the world to hear.
So how are you today, meera?
I'm doing pretty well.
How are you?
I'm good, so tell us why youcame on the podcast today.
Meera Shah (00:49):
Yeah, so I think I came on the podcast for a couple
of reasons.
First is so when I was on thepodcast a year ago, last July, I
think I was entering kind of anew part of my life when, where
I was actually kind of focusingon myself and I know that sounds
cliche, but I do think it wasit really just did change my
entire life.
I started prioritizing my mentalhealth.
(01:10):
I made an effort to change mymental health and the amount of
change I've seen in myself inthe last year has just been
insane and the way I view theworld has changed so much.
My perspectives had changed andI think that journey is just
something that I really want tobe able to share, because I
think it shows that there is alot of hope when it comes to
(01:30):
mental health, because I've hadso many like I've had a lot of
mental health struggles in thepast and I feel like I've been
able to overcome that.
But I also think it's importantas a reminder that we need to
prioritize mental health right.
We're seeing so many people intoday's world push themselves
just really, really hard or justnot see the value in themselves
.
I feel like there's anincreased amount of people who
(01:53):
are way too critical aboutthemselves and their
achievements and they feel likethey have to be a certain way,
to check a certain box in orderto get ahead.
And I just want to bringattention to that and the fact
that it's just not true, and Ihope that my journey is
something that can do that.
Fatima Bey (02:11):
So you said you've had some mental health struggles
in the past.
To give the audience an idea ofthe history and how far you've
come, tell us about some ofthose struggles.
Meera Shah (02:23):
Yeah.
So I guess the short version isthat I've struggled with severe
depression and anxiety.
I think.
So right now I'll be going intomy senior year of high school,
so I think I've had anxiety fora really long time.
It's been kind of a part of mesince I think it kind of got bad
in like fifth and sixth grade,got worse over the pandemic
(02:44):
where I was just very highlycritical of what I did and very
anxious about kind of everysingle action that I took, to
the point where I just couldn'tfunction in a normal way.
I would spend, you know, 10hours on school assignments that
should probably spend 30,because I was just so obsessed
with making it perfect and Iguess it sounds like a small
(03:05):
example, but those were like theideologies and almost the
compulsions that kind of tookover my entire life the need to
be perfect in every single thingthat I did.
And when I was, I think, inseventh and eighth grade, I
started developing symptoms ofkind of severe depression and
that put me in a very negativespot in terms of the way I
(03:26):
viewed myself, my self-worth,the way I viewed what I meant in
this world and whether I wasmeant to be here in the first
place and all those questionsjust kept piling up in my head
and I was in just honestly theworst state that I've been in.
And it kind of got even worse asI headed into high school
because I felt the pressure ofeveryone been in.
And it kind of got even worseas I headed into high school
because I felt the pressure ofeveryone coming in.
(03:48):
I just felt this increasedpressure to be perfect and
everything.
So I think when I was mysophomore year of high school I
kind of hit rock bottom.
I didn't really know where togo.
I wasn't sure if I was going tomake it.
I started therapy because Ijust I didn't know what I was
doing, but I was still unsure ofwhere to go and who to share,
and that was kind of where I wasat last year, I think.
Fatima Bey (04:13):
A lot of what you just said represents a whole lot
of your generation.
There's a lot of people in theworld, but especially in the US,
who can identify with 95% ofwhat you just said.
So that's where you were lastyear.
(04:34):
So what's happened over thepast year for you?
Meera Shah (04:37):
Yeah.
So I think the biggest thing isthat I've been in therapy.
So I was in therapy in ninthgrade and I stopped for a while
because I wasn't very ready tochange.
And I think that sounds kind ofcynical and like, okay, who
wants to?
It was.
I was in a hard position, likeI didn't know how to change.
But I think when the end of10th grade hit and I found
(04:59):
myself again in therapy I wasmeeting frequently and I didn't
really know where to go.
That was when I hit a pointwhere I was just like I need
things to change.
I didn't know where I was goingto go.
I had been in a point where Ididn't want to be like here
anymore and that was a pointwhere I realized that like I
(05:20):
need to do something, like Iwant to change the way my life
is going right now and I want tobe able to move forward.
And I think that was just aturning point in my mind towards
the end of 10th grade andthat's when I kind of therapy
just really started working withfor me.
It took a while, it took timefor me to, for example, you know
(05:43):
, to figure out how to combat alot of the negative thoughts in
my head.
I um.
It was a long process, but Ithink throughout it and I guess
where it brought me to today isa place where I'm a lot more
focused on myself, I can find alot more joy in everyday things.
I don't feel guilty about goingto the beach and having some
(06:03):
fun, whereas I think last year Iwould have been in a spot where
I would have hated myself foreven thinking about wanting to
have fun because I was sofocused on the work that I had
done.
And now I've found places toprioritize myself.
I think another example isprobably my sleep schedule.
I used to get like four hoursof sleep.
I didn't feel valuable unless Iworked every single second of
(06:24):
the day and you know, cuttingback on sleep was a way I
figured that out.
Now, eight hours of sleep isnon-negotiable.
I am asleep by 10 pm and Iguess these are small examples,
but when those examples kind ofbuild up into being your way of
life, you kind of feel acompletely different person.
I've learned how to createstronger relationships with my
(06:48):
peers, my parents and it'soverall put me in a much better
spot where I just think I'mhappier.
Fatima Bey (06:56):
There's a lot you just said.
Now I want to know you went totherapy.
What else has worked for you,because it sounds like you've
gone through a massive amount ofchanges.
So explain to us how thosechanges happened, because
therapy is a part of it.
But what has therapy done foryou?
What else have you done outsideof just the sessions?
Meera Shah (07:18):
Yeah.
So I think one of the things toacknowledge first about therapy
is that therapy is a placewhere you talk and you come up
with strategies.
You have to implement thosestrategies in your everyday life
.
So I would learn a strategy andthis took honestly, this was
the hardest thing.
It took me a couple months, butwhen I had like negative
thoughts in my mind and Istarted to spiral and I just
(07:38):
couldn't move and I was stuck inthis frozen state, what do I do
?
How do I combat those thoughts?
How do I debate them away?
Those were things that Ilearned and I started to
implement.
When I felt myself spiraling, Iwould try to combat that.
The second thing I think I didwas forming stronger
relationships with people aroundme, and I know it's not
(07:58):
something that's possible foreveryone, so I feel extremely
lucky and fortunate to be ableto do that.
But I put more effort into, Ithink, building a stronger
relationship with my mom, beingmore open, being more willing to
share and having that personfor you, whether somewhere to go
and someone to rely on andsomewhere where you feel
(08:27):
comfortable, and I think that isjust so, so much more powerful.
The third thing that I did was,I guess a little bit less.
You know what did I do, but Idid take some medication.
I was on medication for, I'dsay, like 10 months and that did
help create a difference.
But I don't think it would haveworked without the other things
(08:47):
in my life.
Fatima Bey (08:49):
So it's not just one thing by itself that worked.
You didn't just go to thetherapist and they press a
magical button and you're allbetter now.
You had to do your part.
Yeah, I mean, I know, the firsttime I went to therapy.
Meera Shah (09:00):
I was in ninth grade because I was struggling with
things like self-harm and I justdidn't know.
The first time I went totherapy, I was in ninth grade,
because I was struggling withthings like self-harm and I just
didn't know where to go.
So I started therapy and Iexpected it to be that way.
I kind of was just like justchange something.
I don't want it, Like I want itto go away, and it was like you
have to and it's the hardestpart, I think, figuring out how
(09:21):
to take those things and putthem in your own life.
But that is the step that justit has to be taken.
Fatima Bey (09:29):
Okay, so let me let's go back to a year ago.
How did you see your future?
If you go back to the mirror ayear ago, how did she see her
future?
Meera Shah (09:39):
I don't even know.
Like there were points where Iwas just like, do I even see a
future at all?
Like, do I?
Can I imagine myself in thenext week?
I think that was just hard forme to do.
Um, I remember people would askme like, oh, what do you want
to be when you grow up?
Or like, where do you seeyourself?
I'm like I can't even I don'tknow how to see myself past the
next two days.
Like I'm just trying to likesurviving was just that was the
(10:00):
everyday battle, like waking upin the morning.
And I think that was theeveryday battle, like waking up
in the morning, and I think thatwas the hardest part of every
day.
I had passions.
I had things I wanted to do.
I wanted to create a change inthe world.
I wanted to work ininternational law.
I didn't know if it waspossible or if I would ever get
there.
I also had such a low view ofmyself that I was just like,
(10:22):
well, I'm not going to goanywhere, I'm just a stupid
person, like I'm not gonna beable to do anything, and I think
all those things contributed tome just being like I don't know
what future is there so wouldthe word hopeless be accurate?
Fatima Bey (10:36):
for how?
You felt a year ago.
Okay, yeah, and how do you seeyour future now?
Meera Shah (10:42):
I'm a lot more excited.
Like you know, I'm in that timeof the year where it's like, oh
, you have to start your collegeapplications and it's like
that's stressful.
But also I'm so excited, like Iam so hyped, to be able to, you
know, go out into college andbe able to follow my passions
and actually be able to dosomething that could create a
change.
Create a change because I wantto be able to, like my dream is
(11:06):
to like be able to go to collegeand then use that to really
impact the world and make theworld a better place.
I want to go into the foreignservice and work in
international law, and I seemyself being able to directly
impact people.
And I see myself being able todo what I've dreamed about for a
really long time and it's, I'dsay, hopeful.
Fatima Bey (11:26):
So what do you want to do in international law?
Meera Shah (11:29):
I want to work in conflict resolution and human
rights during wartime.
Why, why, why, I don't know.
I feel like there's a lot ofthings For me.
It's just felt like I just wantto do it.
It's always hard to kind ofexplain.
I want to be able to helppeople.
I've learned these stories andI want to be able to do
(11:49):
something about it.
When I was before ninth grade, Itook a class in international
humanitarian law, which I thinkwas the first time I learned
about human rights atrocities inthe world.
And it was the first time Ilearned about human rights
atrocities in the world.
And it was the first time Ilearned about the things we do
in the name of efficiency andcost-benefit analysis and the
horrible decisions that aretaking during wartime.
And then, you know, consideringour whole political situation
(12:12):
like that just became somethingthat I was like.
I see myself being able to makea difference in this and it is
something that I really careabout and something I want to be
able to combine my interest forwith this obligation.
I have to create change andhelp others, and I've just
always felt like this field isthe place I can do that.
Fatima Bey (12:34):
I think that that's awesome, and I hear the
difference from a year ago.
A year ago, you couldn't seepast Tuesday.
Now you know what you want todo for your career.
You're excited about the future.
That is such a beautiful,beautiful thing and I'm glad
(12:54):
that you've arrived at that.
So let's talk about the mentalhealth of your peers in a
general sense.
Where do you see your peersright now with mental health?
Meera Shah (13:06):
Yeah, so I think this is something we actually
talked about last year and,honestly, a lot of my
perspectives have stayed thesame, because I do think that
especially the community I livein tends to be very toxic in
terms of competition andpressure to be a certain way and
get to a certain point, and Ijust see that pressure becoming
this like overwhelming burden onstudents that is just harder
(13:30):
and harder to carry because, youknow, now it's like college
applications aren't no simplething anymore.
Now it's, you know, apply to 20schools and make sure you have
the resume where you'represident of this club and
achieved like third in thenation in this activity, while
also being captain of thissports activity, and it's like
you need to do it.
(13:50):
And there's just thisoverwhelming feeling that you
have to do it all.
And I think part of that mighthave been me when I was where I
was last year, where I washonestly feeding into that
culture.
But I still see that cultureexisting right now and I see
that culture becoming somethingthat students are struggling to
cope with, perceived Like I hada conversation with someone.
(14:17):
It was just like, oh, can wemake sure we don't?
We make sure this doesn't goanywhere else, like the fact
that like therapy was an optionwas like you know, therapy is
hidden away, like don't tellpeople you go to therapy, and
it's like why it's just creatingthis horrible atmosphere with
mental health.
But at the same time, I do seehope, I do see people changing.
(14:40):
I do see kids, especially intoday's world, taking a lot more
initiative and being like ohwell, this is not right and we
need to do something about it,and I do think that's a powerful
thing that can create a lot ofchange.
Fatima Bey (14:50):
Yes, mental health for your generation is far worse
than any of the previousgenerations for a lot of reasons
, but you're growing up in adifferent world and I completely
agree with you that a lot ofyour peers are in trouble and
sometimes having undue mentalhealth crisis because of the
(15:12):
pressures that our society isputting under them.
Do you find that adults talkabout this all the time?
But let's hear from a17-year-old how do you feel
about social media?
Meera Shah (15:24):
Social media.
Okay, I think it's complicated.
I think, on one hand, yeah, Isee the positives of social
media, but there were a couplethings I find very negative
about social media.
So one of the things I used todo was I used social media a lot
as a coping mechanism to hideaway from what was going on.
Because the great thing aboutsocial media is that it can numb
(15:45):
you.
Right, you're scrolling onTikTok or Instagram or whatever
platform you use, and once youstart scrolling, you kind of
become numbed from the world andyou don't really feel anything.
You're just locked into thatlittle dopamine burst.
And that can be reallycomforting sometimes, because it
can make you feel likeeverything's gone away.
But it's also extremelyunhealthy because you are
(16:07):
avoiding your emotions and youare avoiding what's going on,
and it can just teach us thatwhen we feel something negative,
to hide away from it ratherthan openly and actively try to
do something about it.
Now I think that sometimes youneed to numb yourself.
Yes, sometimes there'snecessities and sometimes it's
life-saving, but I think thosecases are extremely minimal and
(16:31):
I think, for the most part,social media allows us a place
to hide.
Now there's also the otheraspect of it which I think is
talked about more frequentlywith body image and societal
standards and comparing yourselfto others and honestly, I see
that a lot in terms of, like,academic achievements, where you
see like, oh my God, thisperson got into this program and
they got into this college andthey're doing this and this and
(16:53):
this and it becomes veryoverwhelming.
No-transcript.
Fatima Bey (17:34):
I'm going to talk to the audience right now.
You hear that adults here'ssome wisdom from a 17-year-old,
because there's adults doingthat right now too it's not just
teens who are hiding behind,and I like that perspective,
because other things that aretrue, but that is absolutely
true too.
It becomes a pacifier for, youknow, avoiding the real problems
that we actually have.
But I also think you know thesaying we say a lot.
You know we could keepcomparing ourselves to other
people's highlight reels.
That comparison of it's justnonsense.
(17:59):
You know it was like oh, lookat how perfect I am, and then
the camera goes off and you'rein a dumpster, shut up.
You know it's not real.
So what do you?
Meera Shah (18:15):
have to say to your peers who are listening right
now.
I think, okay, I think the mainthing is to focus on yourself
and realize that you don't needto do everything at once and
that we're all here living ourlives, and if you live your life
like I think, you're going tobe able to get somewhere.
I think hard work is important.
(18:35):
I think doing what your passionis about is important.
You probably should not justspend your time just sitting
back and watching TV all thetime, but that doesn't mean you
have to go to the other extreme,which is constantly working,
never stopping, always trying tobe the top of your class,
because there are like even ifyou are not at the very, very
(18:57):
top, you are still going to beable to go somewhere.
You are still going to be ableto do great things, find
yourself in a great place and,most of all, you'll be so much
happier.
You can find yourself in aplace where you're doing what
you care about.
Why force yourself to dosomething you don't care about?
If constantly studying, if youknow being the best at science,
is your thing, do it.
(19:18):
But if it's not, then why areyou putting 10 hours a week into
trying to be the top personLike.
Is that something you reallylike?
Probably not, so I guess.
The big, I guess the morespecific, less rambly version is
put yourself first.
Make certain things that arenon-negotiable.
(19:39):
Get eight hours of sleep, makesure you're eating three meals a
day, make sure you have thingsin your life that you like and
make sure you're doing thingsthat you actually enjoy without
feeling guilty about it.
But then make sure you do workhard.
Just don't go to the extreme.
Fatima Bey (19:57):
I completely agree with you those extremities are.
They're what kill us, and theydon't kill us physically, they
kill us mentally.
Let me ask you this I'm a 16year old boy named Roy in
Alabama and I know I'm havingmental health struggles.
I don't know what they are, Idon't know how to recognize them
and I don't know what to doabout them.
But I also don't havesupportive family around me and
(20:20):
I'm poor and I can't reallyafford therapy on my own yeah, I
think it's definitely hard.
Meera Shah (20:28):
I think that there are a lot of things.
Well, I guess there's two partsof this that I would focus on.
First is, I think, what my momhas told me, because she's a
teacher and she's worked with alot of kids in different
situations, kids who have cometo her who don't have support
and don't know where they'regoing to be.
One of the things that she toldme that I thought was really
powerful is that you might nothave something or someone
(20:52):
waiting for you now, but youhave two years and you might be
able to.
You know, it might not be thebest college in the world, but
you can go off to college andyou have control of your life
and you can make that somethingpowerful At that point.
You have so many places you canbe, you have so many decisions
you can be, you have so manydecisions you can make, and I
think there's just such a powerin being able to look at the
(21:15):
fact that in the future, thereis a lot of places that you can
go and a lot more control thatyou will have that I can can
help you get out of reallyharmful situations, for example,
if you're dealing withsomething at home that's just
constantly negative.
Well, when you go to college, Ithink there is a part of
yourself that you can be able toreclaim.
But I guess that's like a verylike hopeful kind of very
(21:38):
idealistic standpoint, I think,in terms of what you can do
right now, I think the internetcan be helpful.
You have to find yourself onthe right place of it.
There are a lot of mentalhealth resources that are online
.
I know the Trevor Projectrecently got taken down, which
I'm upset about, but that'sanother story but there are, for
(22:01):
example, the 988 website.
I think there's resources thatcan help you get through a tough
time, that can help you chat tosomeone, even if you don't have
the money to afford it, and Ido think these are powerful
resources.
They may not be perfect, theymight not be the most amazing
things, but I think you can findplaces where you can talk to
someone and just be open aboutyour struggles.
(22:23):
But I think the next thingthat's really powerful is find
people who have had stories likeyou.
I think it's extremelycomforting to be able to find
someone who has a similarjourney and has been on the same
path, and being able to justknow that they got somewhere.
Like that, I think, is just it'sinspirational and it's powerful
and it's helpful.
(22:44):
And then, lastly, I thinksometimes they're just beautiful
people who come across.
I've had teachers who have beenthe most positive influence in
my life, and if you can findsomeone like that, don't be
scared to be honest about what'sgoing on, because at that point
they can be someone who canreally help you.
So, yeah, I think it's hard,there's a lot of obstacles, but
(23:10):
knowing that you have a future,that you have time ahead of you,
that you have a place where youmight be able to get away from
the harmful things that are inyour life, that can be helpful.
Fatima Bey (23:37):
You gave really several different responses, and
my number one thought wasonline.
Meera Shah (23:41):
There's so many online communities that are
willing to help.
You don't have to have somebodynear you anymore.
You do need to be careful,because I've found myself in
communities online that tend toreinforce negative thinking.
Good point.
Good point it's yeah, you know,don't go on Reddit or Discord
type thing.
You know you want to find morewebsites.
There are a lot of forums, Ithink, online that were places
(24:01):
you can share and people will bewilling to help.
Fatima Bey (24:04):
Actually, mira, you didn't know this, but I created
an online forum on my websitespecifically because a lot of
these other places are toxic,and so I just want to create a
place that didn't rely onalgorithms, didn't allow toxic
people to act stupid, and justhave real, supportive
conversations.
(24:25):
So, for those of you listening,if you go to my communities
page on my website, I actuallyhave a page there called Next
Gen, and it's specifically foryouth.
Youth who want to have realconversations about real issues,
without all of the politicallycorrect BS and without all the
you know, you can't say this,you can't say that they can just
(24:46):
say what they want and behonest and real and have
conversations and support eachother.
That's it.
So there, say that they canjust say what they want and be
honest and real and haveconversations and support each
other.
That's it.
So there's that.
There are other onlinecommunities, but I do like that.
You brought out that point, mira, that you do have to be careful
.
Telling people to go online isgood, but it can be bad if you
go to the wrong place and youdon't know how to recognize the
(25:08):
wrong place.
So if people are reinforcingnegative thoughts, then it's
time to bounce.
Well, mira, I absolutely adoreyou and I thank you for coming
on.
And you are, you really are atrue leader, and whether you
recognize just how much of aleader you are or not I don't
know, but you really are a trueleader and I think more adults
(25:30):
need to listen to you becauseyou have a lot of wisdom for a
17-year-old and there are adultswho really need to listen and
apply a lot of what you justsaid like a lot.
So there's some of the issuesthat you're talking about.
They're not just teenage issues, they're human issues.
So you know, there are somepeople in their 30s who really
(25:51):
need to implement therapy, whoneed to try, and I love the fact
that you pointed out you didn'tknow what to do or where to go
or how to fix it.
You just knew you wanted to, soyou figured it out and you have
and anyone listening if youhave a problem you're trying to
solve, you have to take thatsame stance.
I don't know the answer.
I don't know what the problemis, I just know I want to figure
(26:13):
it out.
You will eventually find theanswer because you'll seek it
out and it will work out, butonly if you don't give up, you
agree?
Yeah, well, mira, thank youonce again for coming on.
I absolutely love talking toyou and I hope that you have a
really excellent school yearthis year.
Meera Shah (26:34):
Thank you so much.
I really appreciate this andhonestly like this podcast, the
stories it shares, your website,the resources it has, and Thank
you.
And now for a mind-shiftingmoment.
Fatima Bey (26:55):
Mira said a lot in today's episode, but I want to
focus on one part that shetalked about.
She was absolutely determined.
She got to a point where shewas absolutely determined that
she was not going to stay whereshe was mentally.
She didn't know the answer, shedidn't know what the problem
(27:17):
was or how to find it, but shewas determined that she wasn't
going to stay there.
And now she's not there anymoreand she's growing, which is
absolutely beautiful.
But my question to you is areyou determined?
Are you determined that you'renot going to stay in that bad
(27:37):
relationship?
Are you determined that you'regoing to have better mental
health?
Are you determined that you'regoing to find a way to be
confident?
Are you determined that you'regoing to get out of the hole
that you're in?
Are you determined?
Are you determined that you'regoing to get out of the hole
that you're in?
Are you determined?
Because once you make thedecision that you are not going
to stay there, I have to get out, I have to reach victory.
(27:59):
Once you make that decision,that is when change will happen,
because you'll make sure ithappens.
(28:23):
So are you determined?
Join our global movement.
Find us at FatimaBaycom.
Until next time.
Always remember there's powerin shifting your thinking.
This is MindShift Power Podcast, the number one
critically acclaimed podcastwhere we have raw, unfiltered
conversations that shapetomorrow.
I'm your host, Fatima Bey, theMindShifter, and welcome
everyone.
Today we have with us MeeraShah.
(00:25):
She is 17.
She is out of New Jersey in theUSA and she has been on here
before, so I brought her backbecause she has a lot to say
that I want the world to hear.
So how are you today, meera?
I'm doing pretty well.
How are you?
I'm good, so tell us why youcame on the podcast today.
Meera Shah (00:49):
Yeah, so I think I came on the podcast for a couple
of reasons.
First is so when I was on thepodcast a year ago, last July, I
think I was entering kind of anew part of my life when, where
I was actually kind of focusingon myself and I know that sounds
cliche, but I do think it wasit really just did change my
entire life.
I started prioritizing my mentalhealth.
(01:10):
I made an effort to change mymental health and the amount of
change I've seen in myself inthe last year has just been
insane and the way I view theworld has changed so much.
My perspectives had changed andI think that journey is just
something that I really want tobe able to share, because I
think it shows that there is alot of hope when it comes to
(01:30):
mental health, because I've hadso many like I've had a lot of
mental health struggles in thepast and I feel like I've been
able to overcome that.
But I also think it's importantas a reminder that we need to
prioritize mental health right.
We're seeing so many people intoday's world push themselves
just really, really hard or justnot see the value in themselves
.
I feel like there's anincreased amount of people who
(01:53):
are way too critical aboutthemselves and their
achievements and they feel likethey have to be a certain way,
to check a certain box in orderto get ahead.
And I just want to bringattention to that and the fact
that it's just not true, and Ihope that my journey is
something that can do that.
Fatima Bey (02:11):
So you said you've had some mental health struggles
in the past.
To give the audience an idea ofthe history and how far you've
come, tell us about some ofthose struggles.
Meera Shah (02:23):
Yeah.
So I guess the short version isthat I've struggled with severe
depression and anxiety.
I think.
So right now I'll be going intomy senior year of high school,
so I think I've had anxiety fora really long time.
It's been kind of a part of mesince I think it kind of got bad
in like fifth and sixth grade,got worse over the pandemic
(02:44):
where I was just very highlycritical of what I did and very
anxious about kind of everysingle action that I took, to
the point where I just couldn'tfunction in a normal way.
I would spend, you know, 10hours on school assignments that
should probably spend 30,because I was just so obsessed
with making it perfect and Iguess it sounds like a small
(03:05):
example, but those were like theideologies and almost the
compulsions that kind of tookover my entire life the need to
be perfect in every single thingthat I did.
And when I was, I think, inseventh and eighth grade, I
started developing symptoms ofkind of severe depression and
that put me in a very negativespot in terms of the way I
(03:26):
viewed myself, my self-worth,the way I viewed what I meant in
this world and whether I wasmeant to be here in the first
place and all those questionsjust kept piling up in my head
and I was in just honestly theworst state that I've been in.
And it kind of got even worse asI headed into high school
because I felt the pressure ofeveryone been in.
And it kind of got even worseas I headed into high school
because I felt the pressure ofeveryone coming in.
(03:48):
I just felt this increasedpressure to be perfect and
everything.
So I think when I was mysophomore year of high school I
kind of hit rock bottom.
I didn't really know where togo.
I wasn't sure if I was going tomake it.
I started therapy because Ijust I didn't know what I was
doing, but I was still unsure ofwhere to go and who to share,
and that was kind of where I wasat last year, I think.
Fatima Bey (04:13):
A lot of what you just said represents a whole lot
of your generation.
There's a lot of people in theworld, but especially in the US,
who can identify with 95% ofwhat you just said.
So that's where you were lastyear.
(04:34):
So what's happened over thepast year for you?
Meera Shah (04:37):
Yeah.
So I think the biggest thing isthat I've been in therapy.
So I was in therapy in ninthgrade and I stopped for a while
because I wasn't very ready tochange.
And I think that sounds kind ofcynical and like, okay, who
wants to?
It was.
I was in a hard position, likeI didn't know how to change.
But I think when the end of10th grade hit and I found
(04:59):
myself again in therapy I wasmeeting frequently and I didn't
really know where to go.
That was when I hit a pointwhere I was just like I need
things to change.
I didn't know where I was goingto go.
I had been in a point where Ididn't want to be like here
anymore and that was a pointwhere I realized that like I
(05:20):
need to do something, like Iwant to change the way my life
is going right now and I want tobe able to move forward.
And I think that was just aturning point in my mind towards
the end of 10th grade andthat's when I kind of therapy
just really started working withfor me.
It took a while, it took timefor me to, for example, you know
(05:43):
, to figure out how to combat alot of the negative thoughts in
my head.
I um.
It was a long process, but Ithink throughout it and I guess
where it brought me to today isa place where I'm a lot more
focused on myself, I can find alot more joy in everyday things.
I don't feel guilty about goingto the beach and having some
(06:03):
fun, whereas I think last year Iwould have been in a spot where
I would have hated myself foreven thinking about wanting to
have fun because I was sofocused on the work that I had
done.
And now I've found places toprioritize myself.
I think another example isprobably my sleep schedule.
I used to get like four hoursof sleep.
I didn't feel valuable unless Iworked every single second of
(06:24):
the day and you know, cuttingback on sleep was a way I
figured that out.
Now, eight hours of sleep isnon-negotiable.
I am asleep by 10 pm and Iguess these are small examples,
but when those examples kind ofbuild up into being your way of
life, you kind of feel acompletely different person.
I've learned how to createstronger relationships with my
(06:48):
peers, my parents and it'soverall put me in a much better
spot where I just think I'mhappier.
Fatima Bey (06:56):
There's a lot you just said.
Now I want to know you went totherapy.
What else has worked for you,because it sounds like you've
gone through a massive amount ofchanges.
So explain to us how thosechanges happened, because
therapy is a part of it.
But what has therapy done foryou?
What else have you done outsideof just the sessions?
Meera Shah (07:18):
Yeah.
So I think one of the things toacknowledge first about therapy
is that therapy is a placewhere you talk and you come up
with strategies.
You have to implement thosestrategies in your everyday life
.
So I would learn a strategy andthis took honestly, this was
the hardest thing.
It took me a couple months, butwhen I had like negative
thoughts in my mind and Istarted to spiral and I just
(07:38):
couldn't move and I was stuck inthis frozen state, what do I do
?
How do I combat those thoughts?
How do I debate them away?
Those were things that Ilearned and I started to
implement.
When I felt myself spiraling, Iwould try to combat that.
The second thing I think I didwas forming stronger
relationships with people aroundme, and I know it's not
(07:58):
something that's possible foreveryone, so I feel extremely
lucky and fortunate to be ableto do that.
But I put more effort into, Ithink, building a stronger
relationship with my mom, beingmore open, being more willing to
share and having that personfor you, whether somewhere to go
and someone to rely on andsomewhere where you feel
(08:27):
comfortable, and I think that isjust so, so much more powerful.
The third thing that I did was,I guess a little bit less.
You know what did I do, but Idid take some medication.
I was on medication for, I'dsay, like 10 months and that did
help create a difference.
But I don't think it would haveworked without the other things
(08:47):
in my life.
Fatima Bey (08:49):
So it's not just one thing by itself that worked.
You didn't just go to thetherapist and they press a
magical button and you're allbetter now.
You had to do your part.
Yeah, I mean, I know, the firsttime I went to therapy.
Meera Shah (09:00):
I was in ninth grade because I was struggling with
things like self-harm and I justdidn't know.
The first time I went totherapy, I was in ninth grade,
because I was struggling withthings like self-harm and I just
didn't know where to go.
So I started therapy and Iexpected it to be that way.
I kind of was just like justchange something.
I don't want it, Like I want itto go away, and it was like you
have to and it's the hardestpart, I think, figuring out how
(09:21):
to take those things and putthem in your own life.
But that is the step that justit has to be taken.
Fatima Bey (09:29):
Okay, so let me let's go back to a year ago.
How did you see your future?
If you go back to the mirror ayear ago, how did she see her
future?
Meera Shah (09:39):
I don't even know.
Like there were points where Iwas just like, do I even see a
future at all?
Like, do I?
Can I imagine myself in thenext week?
I think that was just hard forme to do.
Um, I remember people would askme like, oh, what do you want
to be when you grow up?
Or like, where do you seeyourself?
I'm like I can't even I don'tknow how to see myself past the
next two days.
Like I'm just trying to likesurviving was just that was the
(10:00):
everyday battle, like waking upin the morning.
And I think that was theeveryday battle, like waking up
in the morning, and I think thatwas the hardest part of every
day.
I had passions.
I had things I wanted to do.
I wanted to create a change inthe world.
I wanted to work ininternational law.
I didn't know if it waspossible or if I would ever get
there.
I also had such a low view ofmyself that I was just like,
(10:22):
well, I'm not going to goanywhere, I'm just a stupid
person, like I'm not gonna beable to do anything, and I think
all those things contributed tome just being like I don't know
what future is there so wouldthe word hopeless be accurate?
Fatima Bey (10:36):
for how?
You felt a year ago.
Okay, yeah, and how do you seeyour future now?
Meera Shah (10:42):
I'm a lot more excited.
Like you know, I'm in that timeof the year where it's like, oh
, you have to start your collegeapplications and it's like
that's stressful.
But also I'm so excited, like Iam so hyped, to be able to, you
know, go out into college andbe able to follow my passions
and actually be able to dosomething that could create a
change.
Create a change because I wantto be able to, like my dream is
(11:06):
to like be able to go to collegeand then use that to really
impact the world and make theworld a better place.
I want to go into the foreignservice and work in
international law, and I seemyself being able to directly
impact people.
And I see myself being able todo what I've dreamed about for a
really long time and it's, I'dsay, hopeful.
Fatima Bey (11:26):
So what do you want to do in international law?
Meera Shah (11:29):
I want to work in conflict resolution and human
rights during wartime.
Why, why, why, I don't know.
I feel like there's a lot ofthings For me.
It's just felt like I just wantto do it.
It's always hard to kind ofexplain.
I want to be able to helppeople.
I've learned these stories andI want to be able to do
(11:49):
something about it.
When I was before ninth grade, Itook a class in international
humanitarian law, which I thinkwas the first time I learned
about human rights atrocities inthe world.
And it was the first time Ilearned about human rights
atrocities in the world.
And it was the first time Ilearned about the things we do
in the name of efficiency andcost-benefit analysis and the
horrible decisions that aretaking during wartime.
And then, you know, consideringour whole political situation
(12:12):
like that just became somethingthat I was like.
I see myself being able to makea difference in this and it is
something that I really careabout and something I want to be
able to combine my interest forwith this obligation.
I have to create change andhelp others, and I've just
always felt like this field isthe place I can do that.
Fatima Bey (12:34):
I think that that's awesome, and I hear the
difference from a year ago.
A year ago, you couldn't seepast Tuesday.
Now you know what you want todo for your career.
You're excited about the future.
That is such a beautiful,beautiful thing and I'm glad
(12:54):
that you've arrived at that.
So let's talk about the mentalhealth of your peers in a
general sense.
Where do you see your peersright now with mental health?
Meera Shah (13:06):
Yeah, so I think this is something we actually
talked about last year and,honestly, a lot of my
perspectives have stayed thesame, because I do think that
especially the community I livein tends to be very toxic in
terms of competition andpressure to be a certain way and
get to a certain point, and Ijust see that pressure becoming
this like overwhelming burden onstudents that is just harder
(13:30):
and harder to carry because, youknow, now it's like college
applications aren't no simplething anymore.
Now it's, you know, apply to 20schools and make sure you have
the resume where you'represident of this club and
achieved like third in thenation in this activity, while
also being captain of thissports activity, and it's like
you need to do it.
(13:50):
And there's just thisoverwhelming feeling that you
have to do it all.
And I think part of that mighthave been me when I was where I
was last year, where I washonestly feeding into that
culture.
But I still see that cultureexisting right now and I see
that culture becoming somethingthat students are struggling to
cope with, perceived Like I hada conversation with someone.
(14:17):
It was just like, oh, can wemake sure we don't?
We make sure this doesn't goanywhere else, like the fact
that like therapy was an optionwas like you know, therapy is
hidden away, like don't tellpeople you go to therapy, and
it's like why it's just creatingthis horrible atmosphere with
mental health.
But at the same time, I do seehope, I do see people changing.
(14:40):
I do see kids, especially intoday's world, taking a lot more
initiative and being like ohwell, this is not right and we
need to do something about it,and I do think that's a powerful
thing that can create a lot ofchange.
Fatima Bey (14:50):
Yes, mental health for your generation is far worse
than any of the previousgenerations for a lot of reasons
, but you're growing up in adifferent world and I completely
agree with you that a lot ofyour peers are in trouble and
sometimes having undue mentalhealth crisis because of the
(15:12):
pressures that our society isputting under them.
Do you find that adults talkabout this all the time?
But let's hear from a17-year-old how do you feel
about social media?
Meera Shah (15:24):
Social media.
Okay, I think it's complicated.
I think, on one hand, yeah, Isee the positives of social
media, but there were a couplethings I find very negative
about social media.
So one of the things I used todo was I used social media a lot
as a coping mechanism to hideaway from what was going on.
Because the great thing aboutsocial media is that it can numb
(15:45):
you.
Right, you're scrolling onTikTok or Instagram or whatever
platform you use, and once youstart scrolling, you kind of
become numbed from the world andyou don't really feel anything.
You're just locked into thatlittle dopamine burst.
And that can be reallycomforting sometimes, because it
can make you feel likeeverything's gone away.
But it's also extremelyunhealthy because you are
(16:07):
avoiding your emotions and youare avoiding what's going on,
and it can just teach us thatwhen we feel something negative,
to hide away from it ratherthan openly and actively try to
do something about it.
Now I think that sometimes youneed to numb yourself.
Yes, sometimes there'snecessities and sometimes it's
life-saving, but I think thosecases are extremely minimal and
(16:31):
I think, for the most part,social media allows us a place
to hide.
Now there's also the otheraspect of it which I think is
talked about more frequentlywith body image and societal
standards and comparing yourselfto others and honestly, I see
that a lot in terms of, like,academic achievements, where you
see like, oh my God, thisperson got into this program and
they got into this college andthey're doing this and this and
(16:53):
this and it becomes veryoverwhelming.
No-transcript.
Fatima Bey (17:34):
I'm going to talk to the audience right now.
You hear that adults here'ssome wisdom from a 17-year-old,
because there's adults doingthat right now too it's not just
teens who are hiding behind,and I like that perspective,
because other things that aretrue, but that is absolutely
true too.
It becomes a pacifier for, youknow, avoiding the real problems
that we actually have.
But I also think you know thesaying we say a lot.
You know we could keepcomparing ourselves to other
people's highlight reels.
That comparison of it's justnonsense.
(17:59):
You know it was like oh, lookat how perfect I am, and then
the camera goes off and you'rein a dumpster, shut up.
You know it's not real.
So what do you?
Meera Shah (18:15):
have to say to your peers who are listening right
now.
I think, okay, I think the mainthing is to focus on yourself
and realize that you don't needto do everything at once and
that we're all here living ourlives, and if you live your life
like I think, you're going tobe able to get somewhere.
I think hard work is important.
(18:35):
I think doing what your passionis about is important.
You probably should not justspend your time just sitting
back and watching TV all thetime, but that doesn't mean you
have to go to the other extreme,which is constantly working,
never stopping, always trying tobe the top of your class,
because there are like even ifyou are not at the very, very
(18:57):
top, you are still going to beable to go somewhere.
You are still going to be ableto do great things, find
yourself in a great place and,most of all, you'll be so much
happier.
You can find yourself in aplace where you're doing what
you care about.
Why force yourself to dosomething you don't care about?
If constantly studying, if youknow being the best at science,
is your thing, do it.
(19:18):
But if it's not, then why areyou putting 10 hours a week into
trying to be the top personLike.
Is that something you reallylike?
Probably not, so I guess.
The big, I guess the morespecific, less rambly version is
put yourself first.
Make certain things that arenon-negotiable.
(19:39):
Get eight hours of sleep, makesure you're eating three meals a
day, make sure you have thingsin your life that you like and
make sure you're doing thingsthat you actually enjoy without
feeling guilty about it.
But then make sure you do workhard.
Just don't go to the extreme.
Fatima Bey (19:57):
I completely agree with you those extremities are.
They're what kill us, and theydon't kill us physically, they
kill us mentally.
Let me ask you this I'm a 16year old boy named Roy in
Alabama and I know I'm havingmental health struggles.
I don't know what they are, Idon't know how to recognize them
and I don't know what to doabout them.
But I also don't havesupportive family around me and
(20:20):
I'm poor and I can't reallyafford therapy on my own yeah, I
think it's definitely hard.
Meera Shah (20:28):
I think that there are a lot of things.
Well, I guess there's two partsof this that I would focus on.
First is, I think, what my momhas told me, because she's a
teacher and she's worked with alot of kids in different
situations, kids who have cometo her who don't have support
and don't know where they'regoing to be.
One of the things that she toldme that I thought was really
powerful is that you might nothave something or someone
(20:52):
waiting for you now, but youhave two years and you might be
able to.
You know, it might not be thebest college in the world, but
you can go off to college andyou have control of your life
and you can make that somethingpowerful At that point.
You have so many places you canbe, you have so many decisions
you can be, you have so manydecisions you can make, and I
think there's just such a powerin being able to look at the
(21:15):
fact that in the future, thereis a lot of places that you can
go and a lot more control thatyou will have that I can can
help you get out of reallyharmful situations, for example,
if you're dealing withsomething at home that's just
constantly negative.
Well, when you go to college, Ithink there is a part of
yourself that you can be able toreclaim.
But I guess that's like a verylike hopeful kind of very
(21:38):
idealistic standpoint, I think,in terms of what you can do
right now, I think the internetcan be helpful.
You have to find yourself onthe right place of it.
There are a lot of mentalhealth resources that are online
.
I know the Trevor Projectrecently got taken down, which
I'm upset about, but that'sanother story but there are, for
(22:01):
example, the 988 website.
I think there's resources thatcan help you get through a tough
time, that can help you chat tosomeone, even if you don't have
the money to afford it, and Ido think these are powerful
resources.
They may not be perfect, theymight not be the most amazing
things, but I think you can findplaces where you can talk to
someone and just be open aboutyour struggles.
(22:23):
But I think the next thingthat's really powerful is find
people who have had stories likeyou.
I think it's extremelycomforting to be able to find
someone who has a similarjourney and has been on the same
path, and being able to justknow that they got somewhere.
Like that, I think, is just it'sinspirational and it's powerful
and it's helpful.
(22:44):
And then, lastly, I thinksometimes they're just beautiful
people who come across.
I've had teachers who have beenthe most positive influence in
my life, and if you can findsomeone like that, don't be
scared to be honest about what'sgoing on, because at that point
they can be someone who canreally help you.
So, yeah, I think it's hard,there's a lot of obstacles, but
(23:10):
knowing that you have a future,that you have time ahead of you,
that you have a place where youmight be able to get away from
the harmful things that are inyour life, that can be helpful.
Fatima Bey (23:37):
You gave really several different responses, and
my number one thought wasonline.
Meera Shah (23:41):
There's so many online communities that are
willing to help.
You don't have to have somebodynear you anymore.
You do need to be careful,because I've found myself in
communities online that tend toreinforce negative thinking.
Good point.
Good point it's yeah, you know,don't go on Reddit or Discord
type thing.
You know you want to find morewebsites.
There are a lot of forums, Ithink, online that were places
(24:01):
you can share and people will bewilling to help.
Fatima Bey (24:04):
Actually, mira, you didn't know this, but I created
an online forum on my websitespecifically because a lot of
these other places are toxic,and so I just want to create a
place that didn't rely onalgorithms, didn't allow toxic
people to act stupid, and justhave real, supportive
conversations.
(24:25):
So, for those of you listening,if you go to my communities
page on my website, I actuallyhave a page there called Next
Gen, and it's specifically foryouth.
Youth who want to have realconversations about real issues,
without all of the politicallycorrect BS and without all the
you know, you can't say this,you can't say that they can just
(24:46):
say what they want and behonest and real and have
conversations and support eachother.
That's it.
So there, say that they canjust say what they want and be
honest and real and haveconversations and support each
other.
That's it.
So there's that.
There are other onlinecommunities, but I do like that.
You brought out that point, mira, that you do have to be careful
.
Telling people to go online isgood, but it can be bad if you
go to the wrong place and youdon't know how to recognize the
(25:08):
wrong place.
So if people are reinforcingnegative thoughts, then it's
time to bounce.
Well, mira, I absolutely adoreyou and I thank you for coming
on.
And you are, you really are atrue leader, and whether you
recognize just how much of aleader you are or not I don't
know, but you really are a trueleader and I think more adults
(25:30):
need to listen to you becauseyou have a lot of wisdom for a
17-year-old and there are adultswho really need to listen and
apply a lot of what you justsaid like a lot.
So there's some of the issuesthat you're talking about.
They're not just teenage issues, they're human issues.
So you know, there are somepeople in their 30s who really
(25:51):
need to implement therapy, whoneed to try, and I love the fact
that you pointed out you didn'tknow what to do or where to go
or how to fix it.
You just knew you wanted to, soyou figured it out and you have
and anyone listening if youhave a problem you're trying to
solve, you have to take thatsame stance.
I don't know the answer.
I don't know what the problemis, I just know I want to figure
(26:13):
it out.
You will eventually find theanswer because you'll seek it
out and it will work out, butonly if you don't give up, you
agree?
Yeah, well, mira, thank youonce again for coming on.
I absolutely love talking toyou and I hope that you have a
really excellent school yearthis year.
Meera Shah (26:34):
Thank you so much.
I really appreciate this andhonestly like this podcast, the
stories it shares, your website,the resources it has, and Thank
you.
And now for a mind-shiftingmoment.
Fatima Bey (26:55):
Mira said a lot in today's episode, but I want to
focus on one part that shetalked about.
She was absolutely determined.
She got to a point where shewas absolutely determined that
she was not going to stay whereshe was mentally.
She didn't know the answer, shedidn't know what the problem
(27:17):
was or how to find it, but shewas determined that she wasn't
going to stay there.
And now she's not there anymoreand she's growing, which is
absolutely beautiful.
But my question to you is areyou determined?
Are you determined that you'renot going to stay in that bad
(27:37):
relationship?
Are you determined that you'regoing to have better mental
health?
Are you determined that you'regoing to find a way to be
confident?
Are you determined that you'regoing to get out of the hole
that you're in?
Are you determined?
Are you determined that you'regoing to get out of the hole
that you're in?
Are you determined?
Because once you make thedecision that you are not going
to stay there, I have to get out, I have to reach victory.
(27:59):
Once you make that decision,that is when change will happen,
because you'll make sure ithappens.
(28:23):
So are you determined?
Join our global movement.
Find us at FatimaBaycom.
Until next time.
Always remember there's powerin shifting your thinking.
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