September 9, 2025 • 37 mins
What happens when traditional therapy fails? For musician and comic book creator Lilia Bogoeva, the answer wasn't found in rehab programs or structured recovery systems—it emerged through creative expression and a revolutionary mindset shift.
"Just do something. Any damn thing. It doesn't matter who cares, just do something." This powerful mantra forms the cornerstone of Lilia's approach to mental wellness, addressing what she identifies as our most dangerous inner demon: analysis paralysis. Through her raw conversation with host Fatima Bey, Lilia reveals how overthinking keeps us trapped in cycles of inaction while our mental health deteriorates.
After battling anorexia, bulimia, and substance abuse, Lilia developed innovative healing modalities when conventional methods felt dehumanizing. Her "Harmony Healing" music therapy program helps people harness the therapeutic power of music they genuinely connect with—not necessarily traditional meditation music, but whatever speaks to their soul. Her "Rhythmic Release" dance therapy strengthens the mind-body connection, while her comic book series "Lilia the Inner Demon Crusher" visualizes internal struggles as literal battles with demonic creatures.
Lilia's story offers a profound insight about ambition—how it can either heal or destroy depending on motivation. When driven by a need to prove your worth or escape emotional pain, ambition becomes toxic. But when fueled by authentic passion and connection, it transforms into a healing force. This balance between internal wellness and external achievement creates a positive feedback loop where personal health and career success reinforce each other rather than competing for attention.
For anyone struggling when traditional approaches don't resonate, Lilia's journey demonstrates that healing rarely follows a structured, linear path. It moves in cycles and feedback loops, requiring personalized approaches tailored to individual needs. The first step? Developing awareness of how stress manifests in your body, then taking action—any action—to break the paralysis of indecision.
To learn more about Lilia:
https://www.liliademoncrusher.com/
https://www.youtube.com/@LiliaTheInnerDemonCrusher
FREE DEMO of the "Inner Demon Crusher" comic book: https://mailchi.mp/a6066a839
Send us an anonymous text message
Every episode brings global perspectives and leadership insights. Click on the "Support the show" link above and keep the mission alive!
Search MindShift Power Podcast buy topic here: https://www.fatimabey.com/podcast-search
Explore more about my work beyond podcasting, check out the blog, share your thoughts, or become a guest! https://www.FatimaBey.com
I also have another podcast called The MindShifter Audio Blog!
Experience my written words like never before, as I personally narrate my blogs for a truly engaging audio journey. https://www.fatimabey.com/audioblog
Join the MindShift Universe—where real conversations spark transformation!
Follow me on social media: https://www.fatimabey.com/#1035650492
Thank you for listening!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Fatima Bey (00:04):
This is MindShift Power Podcast, the number one
critically acclaimed podcastwhere we have raw, unfiltered
conversations that shapetomorrow.
I'm your host, fatima Bey, theMindShifter, and welcome
everyone.
Today we have with us LiliaBogoeva.
(00:26):
She is a beautiful young womanout of Alabama.
She's a musician and a comicbook author, and this woman has
a lot to say.
I cannot wait to have thisconversation.
How are you doing today, lilia?
Lilia Bogoeva (00:40):
I'm doing great.
It's a pleasure to talk to youhere.
I'm really excited for ourconversation.
Fatima Bey (00:44):
Me too.
Let's dive right into it.
So tell us today why are you onthis podcast?
Why should we listen to you?
Lilia Bogoeva (00:51):
Well, I discovered this podcast and it
was about mindset for youthtoday and that really speaks to
me because I really want to giveyouth the kind of wisdom that I
wish that I knew back then.
You know, like a lot of adults,I'm like, oh, if I only knew
then what I knew now.
So I just want to help to giveyouth the kind of wisdom that
(01:17):
was very difficult for me tolearn and the kind of stuff that
I wish that I had known earlierto learn and the kind of stuff
that I wish that I had knownearlier.
Fatima Bey (01:29):
And I love that you.
I love that you do that, but Ialso love how you do it.
Tell us a little bit about whatmakes a lot of people talk
about mental health, and theygive advice and they talk about
what people should or shouldn'tdo, but what's different about
how you handle it?
Lilia Bogoeva (01:43):
Well, what sums up my approach to mental health
is just do something.
Any damn thing Doesn't matterwho cares, just do something.
Well, and that's because I dofeel like the biggest inner
demon of them all is notdepression, it's not imposter
syndrome or low self-esteem.
I feel like the biggest innerdemon of them all is analysis,
(02:07):
paralysis, so one that makes yougo like, oh, should I do this?
I don't know, that's not cool.
I should do that.
Is that going to help?
No, no, no.
But then I heard this otherpodcast that said that that is
not good.
And then I saw this meme onsocial media to say to do this.
And I saw a motivationalspeaker who said to do that.
And then my favorite artist isdoing this and they're like, ah,
(02:27):
what should I do?
What should I do?
Oh God, I don't fucking know.
I don't fucking know.
So I just like just picksomething and roll with it.
So what I do is I help peopleimprove their mental health
awareness and their actualmental health itself through
active and creative methods.
(02:48):
Being active and being creative.
So I have a music therapycoaching program called Harmony
Healing.
That's where you figure out thebest ways to use the music that
you love for your own personalempowerment, and that's not
something where it's like, oh,you have to listen to this kind
of music.
(03:08):
I mean, I've gotten intodebates with people before and I
try not to debate this too much.
I'm like you have your opinion,fine.
Well, some people are like, ohno, it can't be metal music, it
can't be rap, it can't be rock,it has to be spa music or
classical or meditation music.
No, it's whatever speaks toyour soul, whatever music that
(03:31):
you feel like is the voice ofyour soul.
That's the kind of music thatyou should use for your
emotional healing, yourempowerment, your growth.
Or you can even discover newmusic.
You can improvise.
I find it so therapeutic.
Just improvise on piano orguitar, just like I said before,
anything, any damn thing, justpick something, just go
(03:54):
somewhere.
And related to that, I alsohave a coaching program I call
Rhythmic Release and that isbased on dance therapy and it's
the same idea like just tappinginto however your body wants to
move, to express yourself, todevelop a really strong
mind-body connection.
You can feel how your mindsetaffects your body and how you
(04:16):
could use your body to improveyour mindset.
And I also do create comic books.
My series is called Lilia theInner Demon Crusher.
I've so far made the firstinstallment, which is called
Workaholism vs Food Porn, andthat is a big analogy of
workaholism.
That's pretty clear, ourambitious drive for greatness,
(04:39):
but how that could becomeself-defeating.
And then food porn is this biganalogy for the things that we
try to do as a fast escape fromall the struggles that we feel
in real life, all things thatgive us pain.
But then just trying to do asweet escape that's an empty
pleasure can actually cause morepain and can cause those inner
(05:03):
demons to leech on your darkfeelings even more.
So I have an online course anda personal coaching program I
call Superhero Self, and that isabout comic book therapy,
literally like how you can usestories and visuals as a way to
reflect on yourself.
Fatima Bey (05:24):
And I want to kind of piggyback off that a little
bit.
I'm always preaching therapy onthis podcast and in all that I
do, and I do believe that peopleshould get therapy.
But I also recognize thattherapy doesn't just come in one
form and it doesn't just comein a traditional form, and
traditional therapy just isn'tavailable for everyone and it's
(05:44):
hard to find a therapist who'snot a plastic robot.
So sometimes other forms oftherapy do work for us and I
love that you are offering adifferent form of therapy.
Listen to what you have to say.
Because you do it through heavymetal or because you do it
through a comic book, there'scertain people who are going to
(06:07):
absolutely be turned off by that, but there's certain people who
will absolutely cling to itbecause it's something they can
relate to.
And I try to have people on herewho are all who all approach it
a little bit differently.
And you know, I have people onhere who approach things
traditionally, but I also likepeople like you who approach
things more artistically,because there are certain people
that are just going to be drawnto that, and I love that you
(06:28):
use your gifts and talents tohelp others.
I think that says a lot aboutyou.
Lilia Bogoeva (06:33):
Thank you.
That means a lot to me too.
Fatima Bey (06:36):
Oh good, now let me ask you this really specific
question question.
Most people see ambition as thepath to success, but you
describe it as destructiveobsession that nearly killed you
.
Take us to that moment when yourealized that your greatest
strength was also your mostdangerous weakness.
Lilia Bogoeva (06:57):
Yeah, there were lots of moments here and there,
and that fits under the umbrellaof things I wish I knew then,
that I know now, but learned thevery hard and painful way.
Yeah, so ambition in itself isneither good nor bad.
It all depends on why you aredoing it and what you're going
towards.
Fatima Bey (07:17):
So, ambition.
Lilia Bogoeva (07:17):
For me it has been very healing and empowering
and it's also been extremelytoxic and destructive and nearly
killed me.
It all depended on why I wasdoing it.
So that's an analogy that Iexplore in my Inner Demon
Crusher comic book and you seethat in the beginning this
character in the book I did themodeling and character design.
(07:38):
I modeled that after myself.
It's like a parody of my ownlife story, mainly my life story
in the context of being amusician Didn't go through my
whole life story in this graphicnovel, but in the beginning my
character is very driven tobecome a musician so that she
gets a good reputation, so sheearns wealth and recognition.
(08:02):
There's a scene that goes you,you, you, you're gonna love me,
and she's all desperate to beaccepted by the others.
And then she is going throughthis really unrealistic to-do
list every day, every single day.
I have to practice for six toeight hours Every day.
I have to promote myself onevery social media, I have to
(08:24):
make new videos, I have to playshows, I have to book new shows,
I have to give interviews, Ihave to feed my pets Fluffy and
Scruffy, and it is, you see, inthe beginning this very
unrealistic daily to-do list andjust grinding it out and
wondering why she is so tiredand feeling unfulfilled and
(08:46):
empty and you see the innerdemons keep leeching on her
darkest feelings, and that'sbecause the motivation of why my
character was so ambitious inthe beginning of the story is
because she was using thatconstant drive to bury some
emotional wounds that she haslike.
There are these things that havehurt me in my past and in my
(09:09):
present.
There are these dark feelingsthat I don't want to feel.
I wish I didn't have them.
I wish that I could just be anemotionless robot.
And she's using that constantwork like a robot to try to
become that robot that we cannever be, because we're humans
and we're not rocks or robots.
(09:29):
So then, the arc that it goesthrough in the story is that she
has to battle these innerdemons directly, and in the
story they are actuallyillustrated as these evil
demonic creatures.
One of them is a scary monsterwith claws and teeth, and then
the other one is a leech thatjust goes and sucks her
lifeblood dry.
And there she is battling thesedemons, and then at the end,
(09:52):
she realizes that the passionfor music is not a place just to
grind it out, to avoid feelingthings.
The passion for music reallycan be my greatest weapon if I'm
using it correctly, and that'sif I am doing it out of passion
and doing it to fulfill my ownpassions and doing it to give
(10:15):
the audience something that theycan relate to and have a good
time with, give both myself andthe audience something that
really helps us see ourselveshonestly and then brings people
together.
Because in the beginning of thestory, music was isolating this
character.
She's like I'm going to lockmyself up for eight hours and
(10:37):
just practice, practice till I'mperfect.
I got to make it to the top,but at the end she's thinking of
it more as a group unity.
I'm making music to expressmyself and to bring people
together and show everyone thatit's okay to express themselves
too.
And that's the difference thatwe see in both the beginning,
(11:00):
middle and end.
She's all ambitious.
In the beginning, the reasonsare totally different compared
to the reasons at the end.
Fatima Bey (11:09):
I want to point out a really key thing that you just
said, but I'm going to rewordit.
So you just said that she usedmusic to express herself, but to
me, the key point is the secondhalf of what you said.
She used it to bring otherstogether.
When we seek to do good outsideof ourselves, that's when we do
(11:32):
greater things.
Lilia Bogoeva (11:34):
Yes, it is both.
I feel like that's a loop.
You know, some people thesedays get into this mindset where
feeling like you are expressingyourself and doing what you
like is selfish, because youshould be always trying to help
other people.
But it is to me a feedback loopyou can do something good for
(11:55):
yourself, then other people cansee that and they can connect to
it.
They can help themselves.
There are different ways.
And then it helps you back againseeing their reaction to it.
There are different ways.
I think it constantly goes in acycle.
Fatima Bey (12:11):
When we truly express our real selves our real
selves, not our real selvesit's always there for a reason
and it will help people in oneway or another.
Sometimes it's through example,sometimes it's through the act
itself.
You know, there's healing thatcan happen through music,
there's deliverance that canhappen through music.
There's a lot of differentthings and different, not just
(12:31):
music, but other forms of media.
And yeah, you're right, it'sthe key principle that I find
that you teach throughout yourwhole comic book and we can see
it throughout your entirewebsite is the key principle of
balance.
And this is why, when you saybeing ambitious is great but
being overly ambitious is badbecause it's when you take a
(12:53):
good thing too far that it endsup being bad it's when you take
a good thing too far that itends up being bad.
Lilia Bogoeva (12:58):
Yeah, it could be , and the reasons that you're
doing it.
I feel like, when it comes toambition, you really got to
check with yourself about themotivation, because I feel like
society gives a lot of this.
It kind of praises when peoplefeel driven just to prove their
(13:22):
worth, like feeling as if youdon't have inherent worth as a
human, but you only have worthif you achieve something really
big and impressive.
And then, of course, that's atrap, because when you approach
your work with so much stress,it makes you anxious, makes you
fearful.
It's all kinds of fear,training, it's all fear driven.
What can come out into theworld is something very
artificial and forced.
So in the context of, music,when your motivation is to
(13:46):
achieve fame and fortune as amusician, so that you feel
worthy as a human being.
Then you see these artists whoare labeled as quote sellouts,
because you can tell thatthey're doing a kind of music
and image just to try to sell alot to the masses.
Like, oh, they're just tryingto either be really politically
(14:08):
correct or the opposite, they'rejust trying to make controversy
just for attention.
It becomes very artificial.
People don't get that genuineexpression that really helps
them through life.
They don't get the healing ofmusic from an artist who's
constantly trying to do it justto prove their worth as a person
(14:30):
and just being competitive likethat.
So that's where that two-wayfeedback loop comes in.
Fatima Bey (14:38):
You're right.
I can think of artists rightnow, and Pink in particular
comes to mind.
Actually, for some reason, I'llbe really honest with you and
listeners might not know thisabout me, but I'm really not
that much into American music,even though I'm American.
Most of what I listen to comesfrom an island, or Africa comes
(15:00):
from an island or Africa.
I like Chinese traditionalmusic too, for some reason, but
Pink I remember her talkingduring an interview about this
and it always stuck in my headwhen her first music, when she
first started her career very,very different from her recent
music and the reason is isbecause she was satisfying
everybody else at first and thenshe said screw this, I'm going
(15:21):
to be myself and she's done evenbetter and she's.
You know a lot of people likeher, a lot of people like her,
and I don't know everythingabout her, but I do like what I
see about her and that she'sstrong and stands up for what
she believes in.
And that's one of the thingsthat she says no, just I decided
to make music the way I want tomake it, and she still has a
(15:44):
strong following because of it,and I think that that's a
principle, like you were justsaying.
That is true in life when weare our true selves whether it's
on stage or not, we're our trueselves.
That's when we attract theright people and it's more
fulfilling and stronger thananything else.
I have another question I wantto ask you.
(16:05):
I'm going to switch it around alittle bit because the audience
doesn't know this about you.
You say you never did rehab ortraditional recovery programs
because that was not the messageyou said.
That was not the message Iheard from God.
That's a powerful statement.
It is yeah.
(16:26):
What did you find in your ownmind-body harmony that the
entire traditional recoverysystem couldn't offer you.
Lilia Bogoeva (16:34):
Yeah, so in context, when we're talking
about recovery, it was from lotsof things.
So first, my early teensactually, the first major mental
health struggle I had was withanorexia.
So that was an eating disorderfor which my parents and the
doctors told my parents andmyself that I had to go to a
rehab facility or be in ahospital.
(16:55):
And that felt so wrong to mebecause the thing it felt very
dehumanizing, because it felt tome like the attempts to get me
motivated to gain a healthyweight and recover were all
about that I have to weigh acertain amount on the scale.
I felt like the summary of onthe scale.
(17:15):
I felt like the summary ofmyself as a human being came
down to a number on the scalewhich is very counterproductive
to the kind of mindset youshould instill in someone who's
trying to recover from an eatingdisorder.
Like this person poked too muchfocus on their body image and
weight.
So you got to get this personto focus less on their worth,
(17:37):
their body image and weight.
So they said, oh no, you're not.
You're not a good person whenyou're skinny.
You're a good person whenyou're a little bit heavier and
I'm like, either way, my worthis being determined by the
number on the scale, and I knewthat that was not the intention
of them, but that's how it cameacross with my perception back
(17:58):
then.
I know that that's not whatthey were intending, but when I
battled anorexia it was in themid-2000s and back then the
whole system around eatingdisorder recovery was very
archaic.
Doctors and psychologistsdidn't understand nearly as much
about the psychology behind itas they do now.
(18:19):
So back then they were justtalking oh, you girls just want
to be skinny because you'reshallow and selfish and that's
what you want, and you just needto look like a normal person
instead of being skinnier andall that stuff.
And that was not my motivationbehind it at all.
My motivation was more out ofperfectionism.
I wanted to have what I feltwas a perfect body, and I also
(18:43):
started to feel very ashamed ofmyself for wanting things.
I was reflecting on how, when Iwas 10 or 11 years old, I wanted
to eat lots of food.
I wanted to go to a buffet.
I was never overweight, by theway, because I was a gymnast, so
I used a lot of energy.
I was a gymnast and a dancer,so I ate to fuel.
(19:06):
But somehow by the time I was12, I started to get so ashamed
of myself for wanting things formyself.
I didn't want to want pleasure.
I thought that that wasweakness and selfishness.
So that's part of where theself-servation behavior came
from.
Also, the fact that I was afrequent severe migraine
(19:27):
sufferer.
So that got me used to throwingup my food and not being able
to eat a long time because I wasgetting sick, naturally.
And the whole recovery process,though, felt very dehumanizing.
Just going to weekly therapy, Ialready felt like either they
were just trying to label me asa number on the scale, or
(19:53):
sometimes I got a therapist whowasn't experienced with eating
disorders and was just kind ofguessing, and I was like, oh
shit, this person knows just aslittle as I do about this and
I'm 13.
So that sucks.
I felt like nobody could helpme.
So you know, my option waseither I wanted to kill myself
(20:14):
or wanted to recover my own way.
So at one point, when I was justturned 14, I really made this
clear decision to kill myself.
Okay, I was not just thinkingabout I was past, just thinking
about.
I made a decision today, but Ihad this kind of vision and
voices.
I hear voices in my head and Isee things and you know, I just
(20:37):
imagined myself recovering whilestaying true to myself and then
eventually continuing withbeing true to myself and doing
something that the rest of theworld will value.
I was like, wow, that is cool.
Because when I was thinkingabout things that would make me
want to live, I was like, well,I don't see myself surviving, I
(21:01):
don't know how I'm going torecover from this.
And I was thinking about, oh,money and career status and
social status and all that stuff, and none of that motivated me
at all.
I was like who gives a shit,we're all going to die.
All of this will vanish anyway.
My corpse don't care about itwhen I'm dead.
But what I imagined myself justcame to me as a vision Imagine
(21:25):
myself being authentic and doingsomething the rest of the world
will value.
That, I felt was worth stickingaround for.
And that was a really bigturning point for me, because
later on in my life I didstruggle with the trauma I had
from that anorexia process and Idid get into bulimia.
(21:45):
I got into alcohol and drugaddiction too.
So it wasn't this one bigkaboom moment, my aha moment
where everything is all OK andgood.
It was a moment where Irecovered from one thing, but
then I had a lot of pain inmyself because I was also
(22:07):
worried that I had recovered ina really selfish way, because I
didn't do it the way that otheradults around me wanted me to do
it.
I struggled a lot with that.
I struggled a lot with feelingashamed of myself when I was in
phases where I was extremelydepressed and hurting and I had
(22:28):
the effects of the traumaaffecting my body, like making
me feel sick to my stomach andextremely exhausted, and then I
thought, oh, I'll just sleep itoff, but then all my dreams are
about dying.
So I feel ashamed of feelingbad, and so that's what made me
want to get into drug abuselater on, just trying to take
(22:51):
some chemical that would make mefeel happy and energetic and
then, when it's too much energy,another chemical that would
make me come back to a mellowerlevel.
So that's something that Ibattled a lot.
Those are my inner demons, andthe biggest one of them all was
the feeling ashamed aboutfeeling bad.
(23:13):
So shame.
And also the analysis paralysis, because a lot of time I would
get into.
Oh shit, what's the right pathfor me to take Like, okay, well,
I want to pursue music andstorytelling, but then I feel
like I should do something moresafe and more.
Maybe I'm being immature forwanting to make a career based
(23:36):
out of expressing myself throughthe arts.
So it was all these back andforths.
So then, what I realized lateron, when I started actually
going to church and thinkingmore about Jesus and God, really
(23:58):
hearing the voice of God andunderstanding that I really
started to feel like I actuallyhave worth as a human being,
because I am a person.
It really resonated with me,because I grew up in California
and I was not Christian backthen.
Because I grew up in Californiaand I was not Christian back
(24:20):
then.
But when I moved to Alabama in2020, a little before then I was
just gradually getting moreinterested in learning about
that.
And then here, I startedlearning about it more and I
really resonated with it.
It's not just something that'sbeing forced upon me, because
there are these Christian12-step programs that kind of
(24:40):
force you to become a Christian.
But I did not do one of thosebecause, again, I felt like
healing does not happen instructured steps, in a straight
line.
I feel like healing goes incycles and waves and there's a
lot of feedback loops.
So for me, even doing aChristian 12-step program did
not feel right at all.
(25:01):
I felt this big repulsion like,no, don't do that.
No, keep on pursuing what I dowith my art and with my teaching
other people so that I knew wasthe right path, even though it
might have been longer and morepainful than going through some
(25:21):
sort of a structured programwhere I get surrounded by a room
of people who have cheerlead onthe thing, and the message that
I like to give is that you healthrough action.
Action creates clarity.
Do something, any damn thing,just even a stupid thing.
(25:45):
Even do a shitty thing isbetter than being paralyzed and
doing nothing.
Fatima Bey (25:51):
Yeah, you just said a whole lot.
You just said a whole weekendseminar worth of stuff.
I absolutely love that you aregiving out that message that,
okay, these traditional stuffdidn't work for me, Because it's
(26:12):
not just true for you, it'strue for a lot of people.
There are a lot of people whoagree with you, but they only
know the traditions that are putin front of their face and when
they don't work, they thinkthat nothing will work.
And the truth is you just haveto try stuff until you find what
does work.
And to me, what matters is thatyou get results, not just today
(26:32):
, but lasting results.
You know, sometimes, thoseprograms, those structured
programs this is the way I putit those structured programs
you're right, Things do go incycles and we're not robots and
we're not one, two, three.
However, those structure Ithink the structure helps people
to understand those cycles.
You know it helps you tounderstand what you're dealing
(26:54):
with.
But you have to have enoughroom to allow yourself to
naturally cycle, which is notgoing to be a one, two, three,
your robot kind of step for mostpeople.
Anyway, some people it does,but and some people just helps
them to get the right mindset sothat they can do their own
cycle.
But I love the fact that you'reteaching people to do things
(27:15):
differently and that it'sactually okay, and what I'm
hearing is that you're teachingpeople to be balanced about it,
because that's the key thingthat's missing, whether you use
a traditional structure or not,is often people are not balanced
in how they teach people how todeal with stuff.
So I want to ask you this,because I think this is a key
(27:36):
thing.
You said, and I quote lifedepended on healing anyway while
establishing my career.
End quote that's a reality forso many.
They have to heal while stillshowing up for school, for work,
as a parent, whatever.
What is the very first,smallest step a young person can
take today to start buildingthat mind-body harmony without
(28:00):
putting their entire life onpause?
Lilia Bogoeva (28:03):
Yes, it's to realize that you don't have to
choose between your personalhealth and your career, because
they feed each other.
So you need to be healthy andright with yourself to be able
to show up well in your work,whether that be a career or
homemaking or school, whateverthat is and then at the same
(28:28):
time, you do need to feel goodabout your work, at least decent
about your work.
You don't have to absolutelylove every moment of your work,
but at least feel decent aboutit to then also feel motivated
to heal yourself even more.
So the internal and theexternal worlds do go in a
feedback loop and as far asdeveloping a mind-body harmony,
(28:51):
it's really important to get intuned with how things affect you
physically.
So let's say, if you arestressed after work a very
common scenario, we all getstressed at work sometimes or
school.
Yeah, tune into, how is thataffecting your body?
Is it making your stomach turnor is it making your heart rate
(29:14):
rise?
Is it putting some other kindof dark thoughts into your head?
Sometimes stress about onesituation sets us on this
painted black mentality whereyou start to feel dark about
other things in life too thatare unrelated to that original
stressful situation.
(29:34):
So I just start to be aware ofthat and then, once you get the
awareness, it can be trickybecause, okay, so I'm aware that
this is really affecting me.
Maybe you have a really toxicenvironment at work and then
you're like, what do I do?
Do I try to tolerate it or do Iquit and do something else?
(29:55):
The truth is, there is no oneright answer to that, but when
you see how much and in whatways it affects you, then you
can start to determine if thissituation is so bad that you
really can't stay here, that Ihave to leave and I need to get
something better.
That can apply to careerrelationships, whatever it is.
(30:20):
Or is it something where maybethe outside situation is
redeemable?
Maybe it's just that you needto approach it with a different
kind of attitude, or maybe youneed to take care of yourself
differently.
We see that a lot in performingmusicians.
Some people really strugglewith the whole self-care kind of
(30:43):
thing while they're travelingand playing how do I eat well,
how do I get enough sleep?
And then they feel like, oh,maybe I should just quit.
Well, you don't necessarilyhave to quit.
You can strategize and come upwith a good routine on how to
eat well, sleep well, restenough and then be energized
enough for your performance, andthen maybe you also have to
(31:05):
look into just how much youperform.
Instead of doing tours formonths on end, maybe you could
do it in shorter periods.
So it all starts with awareness, though.
Fatima Bey (31:19):
I agree and I think people should just do a whole
episode on just what are thephysical effects of stress,
because I think people don'trecognize the physical effects
of stress that migraine headachethat you can't explain the
reason why your eye keepstwitching all out of the blue,
and that leg pain that you'rehaving and the doctors can't
(31:40):
figure out what's wrong.
It might be stress, becausestress doesn't express itself in
the same exact way in everybody.
you know it just.
But there's always physicaleffects from stress, and it
might not be work, it could beschool, you know, and people who
are in college and even just inbasic high school sometimes can
be stressed out for differentreasons, and you know that that
(32:03):
matters.
You really do have to look atthat.
I love that you said that.
So let me ask you how canpeople find you?
Lilia Bogoeva (32:10):
Hey, the best place to start is my website.
Place to start is my website,liliademoncrushercom, because
there you see a range of thingsthat I do.
If you want personal coachingand harmony healing, music
therapy or rhythmic release,dancing therapy, or if you want
(32:30):
to check out my comic books withthe Inner Demon Crusher series
that are about mentalhealth-related topics, made fun
and exciting, you could checkthat out there.
You could also check out themusic that I make with my band
Carcasa.
That's K-A-R-K-A-Z-A.
If you want to just researchthat on Google or any social
(32:50):
media platform.
But my website is the beststarting point.
Fatima Bey (32:54):
All right.
Well, lilia, I really enjoyedhaving you on here.
It was really kind of thehardest part about this
conversation is to not let it goon for six hours, because you
have a lot more.
There's a lot more that I knowthat you can say, but I really
appreciate you just coming onand being honest about your
(33:15):
struggles and your solutions andgiving people a different,
non-traditional take that Ithink people are desperate for.
So please continue to go onpodcasts and go on other
platforms and let more peoplehear you, because there's a lot
of young, there's a lot of youngwomen especially, who need to
(33:35):
hear your voice.
So I'm just giving you oneopportunity to hopefully let
that happen.
But please continue to be adifferent kind of voice that
people can relate to.
So I thank you for that and I'mreally glad that you came on.
Lilia Bogoeva (33:53):
Thank you.
One more thing I forgot tomention is that I do have a free
demo of my comic book, sothat'll be available on my
website.
There's a little pop-up thatinvites you to get a free demo
of the Inner Demon Crusher comicbook, and also in the show
notes I've sent a link to getthat free demo.
So if y'all are curious tocheck it out, you can see that,
(34:17):
how we crush our inner demons incolor, and it's been a really
great opportunity to be on thisshow.
I mean, it means a lot to mewhen people like yourself,
fatima, want to hear my voiceabout it.
Absolutely, thank you.
Thank you too.
Fatima Bey (34:35):
And now for a mind-shifting moment, I want to
point out something that Lydiatalked about in today's episode.
What worked for her for therapywasn't traditional recovery and
therapy methods, because shewas determined she figured out a
(34:58):
method that worked for her, andso I want to turn that back
around on you.
Traditional therapy does notwork for everyone I wish it did
and it's also not realistic, notrealistically available for
everyone.
So is there something that youneed to get over that you know
you need to overcome?
There might be another way foryou to try.
(35:20):
If you've tried traditionaltherapy and it hasn't worked for
you because the cookie cutter,boxed up clinical setting is
counterproductive for you, whichis true for a lot of people
then find a way that works.
And here's the thing what worksfor one person might not work
(35:40):
for another.
For some people, traditionaltherapy does actually work.
For many others, it does not.
Listen to those who have gottenover what they were once under
and find out how did they do it.
And I don't mean get on asubstance, don't drink and drugs
(36:01):
to get over something, becauseall you're doing is burying
yourself underneath it andpacifying the problem, but I
mean really listen to Lilia andother people like her who have
been able to get over what theywere once under through
non-traditional means, becausemaybe the therapy that didn't
(36:23):
work for you might not bebecause you're a failure.
It's because it doesn't workfor you.
Find something that does,because we all need some form of
therapy.
You've been listening toMindShift Power Podcast For
(36:44):
complete show notes on thisepisode and to join our global
movement, find us atFatimaBaycom.
Until next time, alwaysremember there's power in
shifting your thinking.
This is MindShift Power Podcast, the number one
critically acclaimed podcastwhere we have raw, unfiltered
conversations that shapetomorrow.
I'm your host, fatima Bey, theMindShifter, and welcome
everyone.
Today we have with us LiliaBogoeva.
(00:26):
She is a beautiful young womanout of Alabama.
She's a musician and a comicbook author, and this woman has
a lot to say.
I cannot wait to have thisconversation.
How are you doing today, lilia?
Lilia Bogoeva (00:40):
I'm doing great.
It's a pleasure to talk to youhere.
I'm really excited for ourconversation.
Fatima Bey (00:44):
Me too.
Let's dive right into it.
So tell us today why are you onthis podcast?
Why should we listen to you?
Lilia Bogoeva (00:51):
Well, I discovered this podcast and it
was about mindset for youthtoday and that really speaks to
me because I really want to giveyouth the kind of wisdom that I
wish that I knew back then.
You know, like a lot of adults,I'm like, oh, if I only knew
then what I knew now.
So I just want to help to giveyouth the kind of wisdom that
(01:17):
was very difficult for me tolearn and the kind of stuff that
I wish that I had known earlierto learn and the kind of stuff
that I wish that I had knownearlier.
Fatima Bey (01:29):
And I love that you.
I love that you do that, but Ialso love how you do it.
Tell us a little bit about whatmakes a lot of people talk
about mental health, and theygive advice and they talk about
what people should or shouldn'tdo, but what's different about
how you handle it?
Lilia Bogoeva (01:43):
Well, what sums up my approach to mental health
is just do something.
Any damn thing Doesn't matterwho cares, just do something.
Well, and that's because I dofeel like the biggest inner
demon of them all is notdepression, it's not imposter
syndrome or low self-esteem.
I feel like the biggest innerdemon of them all is analysis,
(02:07):
paralysis, so one that makes yougo like, oh, should I do this?
I don't know, that's not cool.
I should do that.
Is that going to help?
No, no, no.
But then I heard this otherpodcast that said that that is
not good.
And then I saw this meme onsocial media to say to do this.
And I saw a motivationalspeaker who said to do that.
And then my favorite artist isdoing this and they're like, ah,
(02:27):
what should I do?
What should I do?
Oh God, I don't fucking know.
I don't fucking know.
So I just like just picksomething and roll with it.
So what I do is I help peopleimprove their mental health
awareness and their actualmental health itself through
active and creative methods.
(02:48):
Being active and being creative.
So I have a music therapycoaching program called Harmony
Healing.
That's where you figure out thebest ways to use the music that
you love for your own personalempowerment, and that's not
something where it's like, oh,you have to listen to this kind
of music.
(03:08):
I mean, I've gotten intodebates with people before and I
try not to debate this too much.
I'm like you have your opinion,fine.
Well, some people are like, ohno, it can't be metal music, it
can't be rap, it can't be rock,it has to be spa music or
classical or meditation music.
No, it's whatever speaks toyour soul, whatever music that
(03:31):
you feel like is the voice ofyour soul.
That's the kind of music thatyou should use for your
emotional healing, yourempowerment, your growth.
Or you can even discover newmusic.
You can improvise.
I find it so therapeutic.
Just improvise on piano orguitar, just like I said before,
anything, any damn thing, justpick something, just go
(03:54):
somewhere.
And related to that, I alsohave a coaching program I call
Rhythmic Release and that isbased on dance therapy and it's
the same idea like just tappinginto however your body wants to
move, to express yourself, todevelop a really strong
mind-body connection.
You can feel how your mindsetaffects your body and how you
(04:16):
could use your body to improveyour mindset.
And I also do create comic books.
My series is called Lilia theInner Demon Crusher.
I've so far made the firstinstallment, which is called
Workaholism vs Food Porn, andthat is a big analogy of
workaholism.
That's pretty clear, ourambitious drive for greatness,
(04:39):
but how that could becomeself-defeating.
And then food porn is this biganalogy for the things that we
try to do as a fast escape fromall the struggles that we feel
in real life, all things thatgive us pain.
But then just trying to do asweet escape that's an empty
pleasure can actually cause morepain and can cause those inner
(05:03):
demons to leech on your darkfeelings even more.
So I have an online course anda personal coaching program I
call Superhero Self, and that isabout comic book therapy,
literally like how you can usestories and visuals as a way to
reflect on yourself.
Fatima Bey (05:24):
And I want to kind of piggyback off that a little
bit.
I'm always preaching therapy onthis podcast and in all that I
do, and I do believe that peopleshould get therapy.
But I also recognize thattherapy doesn't just come in one
form and it doesn't just comein a traditional form, and
traditional therapy just isn'tavailable for everyone and it's
(05:44):
hard to find a therapist who'snot a plastic robot.
So sometimes other forms oftherapy do work for us and I
love that you are offering adifferent form of therapy.
Listen to what you have to say.
Because you do it through heavymetal or because you do it
through a comic book, there'scertain people who are going to
(06:07):
absolutely be turned off by that, but there's certain people who
will absolutely cling to itbecause it's something they can
relate to.
And I try to have people on herewho are all who all approach it
a little bit differently.
And you know, I have people onhere who approach things
traditionally, but I also likepeople like you who approach
things more artistically,because there are certain people
that are just going to be drawnto that, and I love that you
(06:28):
use your gifts and talents tohelp others.
I think that says a lot aboutyou.
Lilia Bogoeva (06:33):
Thank you.
That means a lot to me too.
Fatima Bey (06:36):
Oh good, now let me ask you this really specific
question question.
Most people see ambition as thepath to success, but you
describe it as destructiveobsession that nearly killed you
.
Take us to that moment when yourealized that your greatest
strength was also your mostdangerous weakness.
Lilia Bogoeva (06:57):
Yeah, there were lots of moments here and there,
and that fits under the umbrellaof things I wish I knew then,
that I know now, but learned thevery hard and painful way.
Yeah, so ambition in itself isneither good nor bad.
It all depends on why you aredoing it and what you're going
towards.
Fatima Bey (07:17):
So, ambition.
Lilia Bogoeva (07:17):
For me it has been very healing and empowering
and it's also been extremelytoxic and destructive and nearly
killed me.
It all depended on why I wasdoing it.
So that's an analogy that Iexplore in my Inner Demon
Crusher comic book and you seethat in the beginning this
character in the book I did themodeling and character design.
(07:38):
I modeled that after myself.
It's like a parody of my ownlife story, mainly my life story
in the context of being amusician Didn't go through my
whole life story in this graphicnovel, but in the beginning my
character is very driven tobecome a musician so that she
gets a good reputation, so sheearns wealth and recognition.
(08:02):
There's a scene that goes you,you, you, you're gonna love me,
and she's all desperate to beaccepted by the others.
And then she is going throughthis really unrealistic to-do
list every day, every single day.
I have to practice for six toeight hours Every day.
I have to promote myself onevery social media, I have to
(08:24):
make new videos, I have to playshows, I have to book new shows,
I have to give interviews, Ihave to feed my pets Fluffy and
Scruffy, and it is, you see, inthe beginning this very
unrealistic daily to-do list andjust grinding it out and
wondering why she is so tiredand feeling unfulfilled and
(08:46):
empty and you see the innerdemons keep leeching on her
darkest feelings, and that'sbecause the motivation of why my
character was so ambitious inthe beginning of the story is
because she was using thatconstant drive to bury some
emotional wounds that she haslike.
There are these things that havehurt me in my past and in my
(09:09):
present.
There are these dark feelingsthat I don't want to feel.
I wish I didn't have them.
I wish that I could just be anemotionless robot.
And she's using that constantwork like a robot to try to
become that robot that we cannever be, because we're humans
and we're not rocks or robots.
(09:29):
So then, the arc that it goesthrough in the story is that she
has to battle these innerdemons directly, and in the
story they are actuallyillustrated as these evil
demonic creatures.
One of them is a scary monsterwith claws and teeth, and then
the other one is a leech thatjust goes and sucks her
lifeblood dry.
And there she is battling thesedemons, and then at the end,
(09:52):
she realizes that the passionfor music is not a place just to
grind it out, to avoid feelingthings.
The passion for music reallycan be my greatest weapon if I'm
using it correctly, and that'sif I am doing it out of passion
and doing it to fulfill my ownpassions and doing it to give
(10:15):
the audience something that theycan relate to and have a good
time with, give both myself andthe audience something that
really helps us see ourselveshonestly and then brings people
together.
Because in the beginning of thestory, music was isolating this
character.
She's like I'm going to lockmyself up for eight hours and
(10:37):
just practice, practice till I'mperfect.
I got to make it to the top,but at the end she's thinking of
it more as a group unity.
I'm making music to expressmyself and to bring people
together and show everyone thatit's okay to express themselves
too.
And that's the difference thatwe see in both the beginning,
(11:00):
middle and end.
She's all ambitious.
In the beginning, the reasonsare totally different compared
to the reasons at the end.
Fatima Bey (11:09):
I want to point out a really key thing that you just
said, but I'm going to rewordit.
So you just said that she usedmusic to express herself, but to
me, the key point is the secondhalf of what you said.
She used it to bring otherstogether.
When we seek to do good outsideof ourselves, that's when we do
(11:32):
greater things.
Lilia Bogoeva (11:34):
Yes, it is both.
I feel like that's a loop.
You know, some people thesedays get into this mindset where
feeling like you are expressingyourself and doing what you
like is selfish, because youshould be always trying to help
other people.
But it is to me a feedback loopyou can do something good for
(11:55):
yourself, then other people cansee that and they can connect to
it.
They can help themselves.
There are different ways.
And then it helps you back againseeing their reaction to it.
There are different ways.
I think it constantly goes in acycle.
Fatima Bey (12:11):
When we truly express our real selves our real
selves, not our real selvesit's always there for a reason
and it will help people in oneway or another.
Sometimes it's through example,sometimes it's through the act
itself.
You know, there's healing thatcan happen through music,
there's deliverance that canhappen through music.
There's a lot of differentthings and different, not just
(12:31):
music, but other forms of media.
And yeah, you're right, it'sthe key principle that I find
that you teach throughout yourwhole comic book and we can see
it throughout your entirewebsite is the key principle of
balance.
And this is why, when you saybeing ambitious is great but
being overly ambitious is badbecause it's when you take a
(12:53):
good thing too far that it endsup being bad it's when you take
a good thing too far that itends up being bad.
Lilia Bogoeva (12:58):
Yeah, it could be , and the reasons that you're
doing it.
I feel like, when it comes toambition, you really got to
check with yourself about themotivation, because I feel like
society gives a lot of this.
It kind of praises when peoplefeel driven just to prove their
(13:22):
worth, like feeling as if youdon't have inherent worth as a
human, but you only have worthif you achieve something really
big and impressive.
And then, of course, that's atrap, because when you approach
your work with so much stress,it makes you anxious, makes you
fearful.
It's all kinds of fear,training, it's all fear driven.
What can come out into theworld is something very
artificial and forced.
So in the context of, music,when your motivation is to
(13:46):
achieve fame and fortune as amusician, so that you feel
worthy as a human being.
Then you see these artists whoare labeled as quote sellouts,
because you can tell thatthey're doing a kind of music
and image just to try to sell alot to the masses.
Like, oh, they're just tryingto either be really politically
(14:08):
correct or the opposite, they'rejust trying to make controversy
just for attention.
It becomes very artificial.
People don't get that genuineexpression that really helps
them through life.
They don't get the healing ofmusic from an artist who's
constantly trying to do it justto prove their worth as a person
(14:30):
and just being competitive likethat.
So that's where that two-wayfeedback loop comes in.
Fatima Bey (14:38):
You're right.
I can think of artists rightnow, and Pink in particular
comes to mind.
Actually, for some reason, I'llbe really honest with you and
listeners might not know thisabout me, but I'm really not
that much into American music,even though I'm American.
Most of what I listen to comesfrom an island, or Africa comes
(15:00):
from an island or Africa.
I like Chinese traditionalmusic too, for some reason, but
Pink I remember her talkingduring an interview about this
and it always stuck in my headwhen her first music, when she
first started her career very,very different from her recent
music and the reason is isbecause she was satisfying
everybody else at first and thenshe said screw this, I'm going
(15:21):
to be myself and she's done evenbetter and she's.
You know a lot of people likeher, a lot of people like her,
and I don't know everythingabout her, but I do like what I
see about her and that she'sstrong and stands up for what
she believes in.
And that's one of the thingsthat she says no, just I decided
to make music the way I want tomake it, and she still has a
(15:44):
strong following because of it,and I think that that's a
principle, like you were justsaying.
That is true in life when weare our true selves whether it's
on stage or not, we're our trueselves.
That's when we attract theright people and it's more
fulfilling and stronger thananything else.
I have another question I wantto ask you.
(16:05):
I'm going to switch it around alittle bit because the audience
doesn't know this about you.
You say you never did rehab ortraditional recovery programs
because that was not the messageyou said.
That was not the message Iheard from God.
That's a powerful statement.
It is yeah.
(16:26):
What did you find in your ownmind-body harmony that the
entire traditional recoverysystem couldn't offer you.
Lilia Bogoeva (16:34):
Yeah, so in context, when we're talking
about recovery, it was from lotsof things.
So first, my early teensactually, the first major mental
health struggle I had was withanorexia.
So that was an eating disorderfor which my parents and the
doctors told my parents andmyself that I had to go to a
rehab facility or be in ahospital.
(16:55):
And that felt so wrong to mebecause the thing it felt very
dehumanizing, because it felt tome like the attempts to get me
motivated to gain a healthyweight and recover were all
about that I have to weigh acertain amount on the scale.
I felt like the summary of onthe scale.
(17:15):
I felt like the summary ofmyself as a human being came
down to a number on the scalewhich is very counterproductive
to the kind of mindset youshould instill in someone who's
trying to recover from an eatingdisorder.
Like this person poked too muchfocus on their body image and
weight.
So you got to get this personto focus less on their worth,
(17:37):
their body image and weight.
So they said, oh no, you're not.
You're not a good person whenyou're skinny.
You're a good person whenyou're a little bit heavier and
I'm like, either way, my worthis being determined by the
number on the scale, and I knewthat that was not the intention
of them, but that's how it cameacross with my perception back
(17:58):
then.
I know that that's not whatthey were intending, but when I
battled anorexia it was in themid-2000s and back then the
whole system around eatingdisorder recovery was very
archaic.
Doctors and psychologistsdidn't understand nearly as much
about the psychology behind itas they do now.
(18:19):
So back then they were justtalking oh, you girls just want
to be skinny because you'reshallow and selfish and that's
what you want, and you just needto look like a normal person
instead of being skinnier andall that stuff.
And that was not my motivationbehind it at all.
My motivation was more out ofperfectionism.
I wanted to have what I feltwas a perfect body, and I also
(18:43):
started to feel very ashamed ofmyself for wanting things.
I was reflecting on how, when Iwas 10 or 11 years old, I wanted
to eat lots of food.
I wanted to go to a buffet.
I was never overweight, by theway, because I was a gymnast, so
I used a lot of energy.
I was a gymnast and a dancer,so I ate to fuel.
(19:06):
But somehow by the time I was12, I started to get so ashamed
of myself for wanting things formyself.
I didn't want to want pleasure.
I thought that that wasweakness and selfishness.
So that's part of where theself-servation behavior came
from.
Also, the fact that I was afrequent severe migraine
(19:27):
sufferer.
So that got me used to throwingup my food and not being able
to eat a long time because I wasgetting sick, naturally.
And the whole recovery process,though, felt very dehumanizing.
Just going to weekly therapy, Ialready felt like either they
were just trying to label me asa number on the scale, or
(19:53):
sometimes I got a therapist whowasn't experienced with eating
disorders and was just kind ofguessing, and I was like, oh
shit, this person knows just aslittle as I do about this and
I'm 13.
So that sucks.
I felt like nobody could helpme.
So you know, my option waseither I wanted to kill myself
(20:14):
or wanted to recover my own way.
So at one point, when I was justturned 14, I really made this
clear decision to kill myself.
Okay, I was not just thinkingabout I was past, just thinking
about.
I made a decision today, but Ihad this kind of vision and
voices.
I hear voices in my head and Isee things and you know, I just
(20:37):
imagined myself recovering whilestaying true to myself and then
eventually continuing withbeing true to myself and doing
something that the rest of theworld will value.
I was like, wow, that is cool.
Because when I was thinkingabout things that would make me
want to live, I was like, well,I don't see myself surviving, I
(21:01):
don't know how I'm going torecover from this.
And I was thinking about, oh,money and career status and
social status and all that stuff, and none of that motivated me
at all.
I was like who gives a shit,we're all going to die.
All of this will vanish anyway.
My corpse don't care about itwhen I'm dead.
But what I imagined myself justcame to me as a vision Imagine
(21:25):
myself being authentic and doingsomething the rest of the world
will value.
That, I felt was worth stickingaround for.
And that was a really bigturning point for me, because
later on in my life I didstruggle with the trauma I had
from that anorexia process and Idid get into bulimia.
(21:45):
I got into alcohol and drugaddiction too.
So it wasn't this one bigkaboom moment, my aha moment
where everything is all OK andgood.
It was a moment where Irecovered from one thing, but
then I had a lot of pain inmyself because I was also
(22:07):
worried that I had recovered ina really selfish way, because I
didn't do it the way that otheradults around me wanted me to do
it.
I struggled a lot with that.
I struggled a lot with feelingashamed of myself when I was in
phases where I was extremelydepressed and hurting and I had
(22:28):
the effects of the traumaaffecting my body, like making
me feel sick to my stomach andextremely exhausted, and then I
thought, oh, I'll just sleep itoff, but then all my dreams are
about dying.
So I feel ashamed of feelingbad, and so that's what made me
want to get into drug abuselater on, just trying to take
(22:51):
some chemical that would make mefeel happy and energetic and
then, when it's too much energy,another chemical that would
make me come back to a mellowerlevel.
So that's something that Ibattled a lot.
Those are my inner demons, andthe biggest one of them all was
the feeling ashamed aboutfeeling bad.
(23:13):
So shame.
And also the analysis paralysis, because a lot of time I would
get into.
Oh shit, what's the right pathfor me to take Like, okay, well,
I want to pursue music andstorytelling, but then I feel
like I should do something moresafe and more.
Maybe I'm being immature forwanting to make a career based
(23:36):
out of expressing myself throughthe arts.
So it was all these back andforths.
So then, what I realized lateron, when I started actually
going to church and thinkingmore about Jesus and God, really
(23:58):
hearing the voice of God andunderstanding that I really
started to feel like I actuallyhave worth as a human being,
because I am a person.
It really resonated with me,because I grew up in California
and I was not Christian backthen.
Because I grew up in Californiaand I was not Christian back
(24:20):
then.
But when I moved to Alabama in2020, a little before then I was
just gradually getting moreinterested in learning about
that.
And then here, I startedlearning about it more and I
really resonated with it.
It's not just something that'sbeing forced upon me, because
there are these Christian12-step programs that kind of
(24:40):
force you to become a Christian.
But I did not do one of thosebecause, again, I felt like
healing does not happen instructured steps, in a straight
line.
I feel like healing goes incycles and waves and there's a
lot of feedback loops.
So for me, even doing aChristian 12-step program did
not feel right at all.
(25:01):
I felt this big repulsion like,no, don't do that.
No, keep on pursuing what I dowith my art and with my teaching
other people so that I knew wasthe right path, even though it
might have been longer and morepainful than going through some
(25:21):
sort of a structured programwhere I get surrounded by a room
of people who have cheerlead onthe thing, and the message that
I like to give is that you healthrough action.
Action creates clarity.
Do something, any damn thing,just even a stupid thing.
(25:45):
Even do a shitty thing isbetter than being paralyzed and
doing nothing.
Fatima Bey (25:51):
Yeah, you just said a whole lot.
You just said a whole weekendseminar worth of stuff.
I absolutely love that you aregiving out that message that,
okay, these traditional stuffdidn't work for me, Because it's
(26:12):
not just true for you, it'strue for a lot of people.
There are a lot of people whoagree with you, but they only
know the traditions that are putin front of their face and when
they don't work, they thinkthat nothing will work.
And the truth is you just haveto try stuff until you find what
does work.
And to me, what matters is thatyou get results, not just today
(26:32):
, but lasting results.
You know, sometimes, thoseprograms, those structured
programs this is the way I putit those structured programs
you're right, Things do go incycles and we're not robots and
we're not one, two, three.
However, those structure Ithink the structure helps people
to understand those cycles.
You know it helps you tounderstand what you're dealing
(26:54):
with.
But you have to have enoughroom to allow yourself to
naturally cycle, which is notgoing to be a one, two, three,
your robot kind of step for mostpeople.
Anyway, some people it does,but and some people just helps
them to get the right mindset sothat they can do their own
cycle.
But I love the fact that you'reteaching people to do things
(27:15):
differently and that it'sactually okay, and what I'm
hearing is that you're teachingpeople to be balanced about it,
because that's the key thingthat's missing, whether you use
a traditional structure or not,is often people are not balanced
in how they teach people how todeal with stuff.
So I want to ask you this,because I think this is a key
(27:36):
thing.
You said, and I quote lifedepended on healing anyway while
establishing my career.
End quote that's a reality forso many.
They have to heal while stillshowing up for school, for work,
as a parent, whatever.
What is the very first,smallest step a young person can
take today to start buildingthat mind-body harmony without
(28:00):
putting their entire life onpause?
Lilia Bogoeva (28:03):
Yes, it's to realize that you don't have to
choose between your personalhealth and your career, because
they feed each other.
So you need to be healthy andright with yourself to be able
to show up well in your work,whether that be a career or
homemaking or school, whateverthat is and then at the same
(28:28):
time, you do need to feel goodabout your work, at least decent
about your work.
You don't have to absolutelylove every moment of your work,
but at least feel decent aboutit to then also feel motivated
to heal yourself even more.
So the internal and theexternal worlds do go in a
feedback loop and as far asdeveloping a mind-body harmony,
(28:51):
it's really important to get intuned with how things affect you
physically.
So let's say, if you arestressed after work a very
common scenario, we all getstressed at work sometimes or
school.
Yeah, tune into, how is thataffecting your body?
Is it making your stomach turnor is it making your heart rate
(29:14):
rise?
Is it putting some other kindof dark thoughts into your head?
Sometimes stress about onesituation sets us on this
painted black mentality whereyou start to feel dark about
other things in life too thatare unrelated to that original
stressful situation.
(29:34):
So I just start to be aware ofthat and then, once you get the
awareness, it can be trickybecause, okay, so I'm aware that
this is really affecting me.
Maybe you have a really toxicenvironment at work and then
you're like, what do I do?
Do I try to tolerate it or do Iquit and do something else?
(29:55):
The truth is, there is no oneright answer to that, but when
you see how much and in whatways it affects you, then you
can start to determine if thissituation is so bad that you
really can't stay here, that Ihave to leave and I need to get
something better.
That can apply to careerrelationships, whatever it is.
(30:20):
Or is it something where maybethe outside situation is
redeemable?
Maybe it's just that you needto approach it with a different
kind of attitude, or maybe youneed to take care of yourself
differently.
We see that a lot in performingmusicians.
Some people really strugglewith the whole self-care kind of
(30:43):
thing while they're travelingand playing how do I eat well,
how do I get enough sleep?
And then they feel like, oh,maybe I should just quit.
Well, you don't necessarilyhave to quit.
You can strategize and come upwith a good routine on how to
eat well, sleep well, restenough and then be energized
enough for your performance, andthen maybe you also have to
(31:05):
look into just how much youperform.
Instead of doing tours formonths on end, maybe you could
do it in shorter periods.
So it all starts with awareness, though.
Fatima Bey (31:19):
I agree and I think people should just do a whole
episode on just what are thephysical effects of stress,
because I think people don'trecognize the physical effects
of stress that migraine headachethat you can't explain the
reason why your eye keepstwitching all out of the blue,
and that leg pain that you'rehaving and the doctors can't
(31:40):
figure out what's wrong.
It might be stress, becausestress doesn't express itself in
the same exact way in everybody.
you know it just.
But there's always physicaleffects from stress, and it
might not be work, it could beschool, you know, and people who
are in college and even just inbasic high school sometimes can
be stressed out for differentreasons, and you know that that
(32:03):
matters.
You really do have to look atthat.
I love that you said that.
So let me ask you how canpeople find you?
Lilia Bogoeva (32:10):
Hey, the best place to start is my website.
Place to start is my website,liliademoncrushercom, because
there you see a range of thingsthat I do.
If you want personal coachingand harmony healing, music
therapy or rhythmic release,dancing therapy, or if you want
(32:30):
to check out my comic books withthe Inner Demon Crusher series
that are about mentalhealth-related topics, made fun
and exciting, you could checkthat out there.
You could also check out themusic that I make with my band
Carcasa.
That's K-A-R-K-A-Z-A.
If you want to just researchthat on Google or any social
(32:50):
media platform.
But my website is the beststarting point.
Fatima Bey (32:54):
All right.
Well, lilia, I really enjoyedhaving you on here.
It was really kind of thehardest part about this
conversation is to not let it goon for six hours, because you
have a lot more.
There's a lot more that I knowthat you can say, but I really
appreciate you just coming onand being honest about your
(33:15):
struggles and your solutions andgiving people a different,
non-traditional take that Ithink people are desperate for.
So please continue to go onpodcasts and go on other
platforms and let more peoplehear you, because there's a lot
of young, there's a lot of youngwomen especially, who need to
(33:35):
hear your voice.
So I'm just giving you oneopportunity to hopefully let
that happen.
But please continue to be adifferent kind of voice that
people can relate to.
So I thank you for that and I'mreally glad that you came on.
Lilia Bogoeva (33:53):
Thank you.
One more thing I forgot tomention is that I do have a free
demo of my comic book, sothat'll be available on my
website.
There's a little pop-up thatinvites you to get a free demo
of the Inner Demon Crusher comicbook, and also in the show
notes I've sent a link to getthat free demo.
So if y'all are curious tocheck it out, you can see that,
(34:17):
how we crush our inner demons incolor, and it's been a really
great opportunity to be on thisshow.
I mean, it means a lot to mewhen people like yourself,
fatima, want to hear my voiceabout it.
Absolutely, thank you.
Thank you too.
Fatima Bey (34:35):
And now for a mind-shifting moment, I want to
point out something that Lydiatalked about in today's episode.
What worked for her for therapywasn't traditional recovery and
therapy methods, because shewas determined she figured out a
(34:58):
method that worked for her, andso I want to turn that back
around on you.
Traditional therapy does notwork for everyone I wish it did
and it's also not realistic, notrealistically available for
everyone.
So is there something that youneed to get over that you know
you need to overcome?
There might be another way foryou to try.
(35:20):
If you've tried traditionaltherapy and it hasn't worked for
you because the cookie cutter,boxed up clinical setting is
counterproductive for you, whichis true for a lot of people
then find a way that works.
And here's the thing what worksfor one person might not work
(35:40):
for another.
For some people, traditionaltherapy does actually work.
For many others, it does not.
Listen to those who have gottenover what they were once under
and find out how did they do it.
And I don't mean get on asubstance, don't drink and drugs
(36:01):
to get over something, becauseall you're doing is burying
yourself underneath it andpacifying the problem, but I
mean really listen to Lilia andother people like her who have
been able to get over what theywere once under through
non-traditional means, becausemaybe the therapy that didn't
(36:23):
work for you might not bebecause you're a failure.
It's because it doesn't workfor you.
Find something that does,because we all need some form of
therapy.
You've been listening toMindShift Power Podcast For
(36:44):
complete show notes on thisepisode and to join our global
movement, find us atFatimaBaycom.
Until next time, alwaysremember there's power in
shifting your thinking.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.