October 28, 2025 • 34 mins
Ever notice how waiting to “feel like it” quietly kills your best plans? We sit down with author and podcaster Daryl Ditmer to explore why feelings make lousy captains and how discipline and consistency can steer you toward a life you actually want to wake up to. Daryl shares the blunt mantra that changed his trajectory—do the right thing especially when you don’t feel like it—and backs it with a raw story of teen addiction, a rock-bottom New Year’s, and the first shaky steps into a 12‑step room.
We dig into the difference between fleeting happiness and durable fulfillment, the real role of fear, and the myth that freedom means doing whatever you want. Daryl explains why discipline is not punishment but permission: the habits you protect become the map to peace of mind, better relationships, and meaningful work. He also reframes “the fight” most of us wage inside our heads. Instead of running the “ass kicking machine” when we make mistakes, he shows how to turn down the self-attack, accept confusion as part of growth, and keep your eyes on the windshield—what you can do next—rather than the rearview.
If you’re 16 and overwhelmed by vibes and pressure, or 46 and tired of drifting, this conversation offers practical tools: acknowledge fear without shame, pick one hard action and do it anyway, and build your life before someone else scripts it for you. We close with Daryl’s resources, including his books When I Stop Fighting and When You Stop Fighting, and his podcast that spotlights honest stories of change across generations.
If the message hits home, follow, share this episode with someone who needs a push, and leave a quick review to tell us the one hard thing you’re committing to this week.
To learn more about Daryl, please visit:
Send us an anonymous text message
Every episode brings global perspectives and leadership insights. Click on the "Support the show" link above and keep the mission alive!
Search MindShift Power Podcast buy topic here: https://www.fatimabey.com/podcast-search
Explore more about my work beyond podcasting, check out the blog, share your thoughts, or become a guest! https://www.FatimaBey.com
I also have another podcast called The MindShifter Audio Blog!
Experience my written words like never before, as I personally narrate my blogs for a truly engaging audio journey. https://www.fatimabey.com/audioblog
Join the MindShift Universe—where real conversations spark transformation!
Follow me on social media: https://www.fatimabey.com/#1035650492
Thank you for listening!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Fatima Bey (00:02):
Mind Shift Power Podcast.
This is Mind Shift PowerPodcast, the number one
critically acclaimed podcastwhere we have raw, unfiltered
conversations that shapetomorrow.
I'm your host, Fatima Bay, theMind Shifter.
And welcome everyone.
(00:22):
Today we have with us DarylDittmer.
He is out of the state ofGeorgia in the USA.
He is a podcast host and anauthor.
And you're going to find outhe's actually a lot more.
So I like to dive right intothe conversation.
Tell us, Daryl, tell us yourbackground and why are you here?
Daryl Dittmer (00:40):
Thanks so much for having me on, Fatima.
My background is, I guess itwould be best characterized as a
fairly humble and interestinglytumultuous beginning to my life
in the Midwest.
And, you know, I started off asjust a regular kid.
(01:03):
I loved sports.
You know, my dad was amechanic.
My mom took care of us kids.
You know, it seemed like aregular sort of life.
And uh and and it really wasfor quite some time.
My parents were both prettytough people.
Uh my dad was uh a Korean Warveteran, like I said, a
mechanic, just kind of ablue-collar, tough Midwestern
(01:26):
guy.
And my mom took care of thehousehold.
And sometimes I like to thinkmy mom was tougher than my dad.
Um, but that's that's fromwhence I came.
And why am I here?
I'm here to help.
I really, my life has been onethat's been characterized by
(01:47):
once I got my own head out of mybutt, um, I've had a wonderful
life.
And it's had its ups and it'shad its downs and it's had
challenges and lessons andaddiction and traumas and all
that kind of stuff thateverybody experiences to one
degree or another.
Um, and I've moved throughthose things.
(02:08):
And and I really, and I movedthrough a lot of them at a
fairly young age.
Um, so that I was able to openup my life to other things,
other good things, otherpositive and helpful things.
And now my intention in life isto pass on the things that I've
learned.
Fatima Bey (02:27):
And I'm glad that you're here to do that.
I think some of the greatestwisdom that we could ever obtain
is the crap we go through.
That there's nobody I knowthat's wise, that's lived a
perfect life, and they've neverbeen through anything.
Well, there is, but we have toclose our eyes because they're
only in our imagination.
It's what we go through thatactually helps us to gain the
(02:49):
wisdom that we can share withothers.
So I appreciate that you thatyou want to share your wisdom
with others.
And we're gonna talk about yoursome of your philosophies
because I think they're powerfulfor all of us, uh, regardless
of age.
Um, but especially in our inour current, at least Western
society, uh, we're gonna talk alot about that.
(03:09):
So you have a brutally honestmantra that says, Daryl, no one
cares how you feel.
Get off your ass and do itanyway.
Our culture teaches us tofollow our feelings.
So, why is this your mantra?
Daryl Dittmer (03:27):
Because I was told uh by a mentor of mine
many, many years ago, and andand you know, the the wonderful
thing about youth is I didn'tunderstand a bit of it.
Uh the wonderful thing aboutgetting a little older and
experiencing things, like youhad mentioned, is I can start to
(03:48):
get those things via myexperiences.
But if my experiences are onlythings that I want to do, and
only things that feel good, andonly things where I'm, oh, I
just want to be happy all thetime, and you know, I want to
be, you know, my my sort of piein the sky, head in the clouds
(04:12):
kind of thing.
That's not going to lead me tohappiness or contentment or
fulfillment.
And I look at I look athappiness quite honestly as more
fleeting.
But contentment andfulfillment, I think, are what
we're all looking for towhatever degree.
And there's a lot of thingsthat go into being contented and
fulfilled.
(04:32):
But how do I get there?
And and so a mentor of minesaid to me a long time ago, uh,
as I got involved in a 12-stepprogram at the age of 19, he
said, Daryl, the best time to goto a meeting is when you don't
feel like it.
The best time to work out iswhen you don't feel like it.
(04:54):
The best time to do the thingsthat are the best for you
sometimes is when you don't feellike it.
And that's why, and I'm notdiscounting people's feelings or
discounting my own feelings,but but sometimes we have to
take that hard line withourselves, not necessarily with
anybody else, but with ourselvesand say, and I have to say to
(05:17):
myself, Daryl, I don't care howyou feel, go do it.
Why?
Because that's what getsresults.
If it truly is, and and I'vedone a lot of wrong stuff.
I've done a lot of dumb stuff,I've done a lot of things that
don't contribute, or or I shouldsay, they contribute to my uh
(05:43):
demise, or they contribute to megoing in the wrong direction.
You know, I was when I was akid, I got involved in drinking
and then drugs and, you know, 13years old, and and and as it as
it went over the course of myteenage years, I got involved in
criminal stuff, and I gotinvolved in lying and cheating
(06:04):
and stealing, just not being agood person.
And that was me doing what Ithought was, oh, I'm just gonna
do life and I'm gonna have fun.
I'm gonna be a nut job and I'mgonna, I'm gonna be bad to
people, and all that sort ofstuff.
And it's like it and and youknow what it made me?
You know what it got me?
It got me miserable.
(06:24):
It got me to the point whereJanuary uh December 31st of
1984, I was at a New Year's Eveparty, and I was the loneliest
and most miserable I'd ever beenat any point in my life.
I had just turned 19 years old,and the thought came to me
maybe I don't want to be on thisplanet.
(06:46):
Maybe I don't want to be here.
That's what it got me.
That's what that's what doingjust what I thought I wanted to
do got me.
And I had to learn a differentway of life.
Fatima Bey (06:57):
You're absolutely right.
Only doing what we feel likedoing, what feels good all the
time, does lead to misery.
That's why we have so many richand famous people who are
miserable.
They have enough money to getand do whatever they want.
Yet they're not happy.
You know, people don't thinkabout that.
Absolutely.
But let's um as you said, youyou call out the trap of I don't
(07:18):
feel like it.
Uh today's youth are drowningin a culture of vibes and
feelings.
What about someone who feelsparalyzed by fear and lack of
motivation?
How do they take the first stepto do it anyway?
Daryl Dittmer (07:36):
You know, that's a difficult place to be.
And and I have been there and Iand I want to acknowledge,
certainly, because I've beenthere, that it is difficult.
And it and it feels like, and II say now, I have a brother who
is quite honestly a littleolder than me, and I love him to
(07:58):
death.
He's a wonderful human being,and he's great, but he still
gets paralyzed by fears.
And and that has not changedfor him over the course of time.
And I really think it'simportant to look at.
I studied successful people,and when I say successful, I
(08:22):
don't mean necessarilyfinancially.
I mean people who have greatrelationships, who have some
contentment in their lives, whohave peace of mind, who have
meaning or purpose.
And, you know, financialsecurity can come with all that
stuff, but but those are thepeople, and if we listen to
those people, they will say youhave to feel the fear and do it
(08:48):
anyway.
And it's okay to have the fear.
And I think that's an importantthing for people to understand,
especially younger people, um,because younger people will feel
the fear if it's unfamiliarterritory.
And and I still feel fearsometimes about things that I
don't necessarily want to do.
(09:08):
And, you know, writing a bookand doing a podcast was like, oh
man, really?
You know, people who knew whoknow me from back in the day
would say, Daryl does a podcast.
I didn't want to.
I didn't want to.
I really and I didn't want tobe a guest on podcasts, but but
if the larger goal, and I thinkthis is an important thing for
(09:29):
to for for younger folks tounderstand, if your larger goal
includes steps that are scary,you have to take the steps that
are scary to get to the largergoal.
And sometimes you just got tobuckle down and talk yourself
into it.
And I did that many, manytimes.
(09:50):
Many, many times I had to dothat.
Daryl, I and I I think anotherplace where we get stuck, and
and you know, this is the partof the fight that I talk about
in some of my work, is is we getstuck because we tell
ourselves, well, I'm just gonna,you know, I don't, I'm not
scared.
I'm and meanwhile, you'reparalyzed.
(10:12):
Like, just understand that youare scared.
And it's okay to be scared, andit's also okay to move forward
when you're scared.
And I I think that's probablythe the most important advice I
could give regarding breakingout of that paralyzed state.
Fatima Bey (10:30):
Very good.
I I always I have a saying forthat, and I've I find myself
saying it on the podcast quiteoften, actually.
And that is it's not about it'snot about feelings.
It's about it's not a feeling,it's a decision.
Make a decision and yourfeelings will follow the
decision.
You might feel the fear atfirst, but after a while, you're
you're not scared.
(10:50):
Just like we were scared whenwe first learned how to ride a
bike.
We keep riding it, andeventually you're not scared to
ride a bike anymore.
You know, um, but you'reabsolutely right.
Being ab just, you know, asNike says, just do it.
Um really matters.
Now, I want to take a deeperdive into a piece of what you
just said.
You say that doing things wedon't feel like doing is what
(11:14):
gives us the most freedom.
That's a huge contrast for ayoung person who thinks that
freedom means doing whatever wewant and you know, whenever
whenever they want.
Um, how does disciplineactually create more freedom
than just following ourimpulses?
We talked about it a littlebit, but I want to take a deeper
dive.
How does that actually createfreedom?
Daryl Dittmer (11:36):
Discipline is what I decide to do with my life
and with myself over the courseof time.
I I believe discipline andconsistency, I talk about a
little bit in my in one of mybooks that that they are
centuries on the path of meachieving and doing things and
(12:00):
and moving, uh leveling up andmoving forward.
And and if I'm not disciplinedand I'm not consistent about
that discipline over time, it'sit's seriously like a like a
boat without an engine and arudder.
If it's just sitting therebobbing in the water, it's going
(12:20):
wherever the water decides togo.
As the tides change, as thecurrents change, all that sort
of stuff, I'm just gonna go withthe tide, I'm just gonna go
with the current, and I can endup uh shipwrecked, I can end up
or you know, run aground, I canend up anywhere, I can end up
sunk.
And I think it's reallyimportant, you know, that
(12:40):
freedom for me, the freedom forme is is having created many
disciplines for myself over theyears, and some I've been really
good at, some I've sucked at,some I've been inconsistent
about.
But, and that's okay.
You know, it it's it's we wedon't need to spend time beating
(13:03):
the crap out of ourselves forthings we didn't do.
We need to spend our time uhemploying that discipline in our
lives.
And for me, it's it's and it'sbeen going on for a long time.
It's it's daily practices, it'sthings that I that I will not
compromise on.
It's you know, whether it'sbusiness stuff or physical
(13:26):
activity or uh, you know, thingsfor my my mind and my heart and
my soul and reading and thosekinds of things.
It's things that I don'tcompromise on.
Now, do I do it perfectly?
I don't do it perfectly, andthat's okay.
But but the consistent threatover time has brought me to a
(13:46):
place where I wake up every dayand I love my life.
And I think that's that is whatpeople want ultimately is to
wake up every day and love yourlife.
And what greater freedom couldthere be than that?
Fatima Bey (14:04):
So, what you're saying is for someone who's 16
and listening right now, thediscipline they practice today
will give them freedom to livetheir life how they want
tomorrow.
Daryl Dittmer (14:16):
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Uh, you know, and and and I'm afan of I have to be, I have to
be intelligent with myself.
I can't just pound myself intothe dirt every single day, and
you know, you gotta do this, yougotta do that, and you gotta do
that.
Different things come up atdifferent times, and different
(14:40):
disciplines come up at differenttimes.
And there was a time when I wasmore focused on the discipline
that I needed to have from abusiness perspective than I was
necessarily at the things Ineeded to do for myself from a
mental, emotional, and physicalperspective.
Um and as I grew older, I hadto pay more attention to the
(15:02):
physical, mental, and spiritualperspective, you know, and and
as we grow older, we we cangather new things because one of
the things that I've learned inmy life, which I think is
incredibly valuable and and Iwould say indispensable, is I
haven't found out necessarilywhat works, but I have found out
(15:26):
what doesn't work.
And I don't do that stuff.
You know what?
Fatima Bey (15:30):
And I think that's that's a great place to we can
we can all I don't care how oldyou are, we can all learn that
lesson.
Find out what doesn't work anddon't do that.
That helps you to find out whatdoes.
And that's part of discipline.
Yeah.
Now let's talk about yourbooks.
You have a couple of books thatI find interesting because
they're similarly titled, yet soso different.
(15:52):
So you have uh two books calledWhen I Stop Fighting, and the
other one is When You StopFighting.
And I forget which one of themtells you tells people to get
their head out of their ass.
But you're but yet yourphilosophy is about pushing
through fear, discomfort, whichsounds a lot like a fight.
(16:13):
So who or what should we stopfighting?
What are you talking about?
Daryl Dittmer (16:17):
Well, uh the first book, When I Stop
Fighting, and the subtitle isThe Unexpected Joy of Getting My
Head Out of My Ass, which waskind of tongue-in-cheek, but
also very true.
And and and I had to learn, andsuccessful people will say
this, and and and it doesn'tnecessarily mean financial
success.
I never mean financial successsolely when I say success, but
(16:42):
but people who are are you knowenjoying their lives, whatever
that is.
And and so they will say, youknow, it's probably somewhere in
the you know, 10% neighborhoodof people on this planet are
really gonna enjoy their livesand as they go through them and
(17:04):
they learn different things andthis and that.
So so for me, I had to askmyself, where do I want to be in
that mix?
Do I want to be the miserable10%, or do I want to be the
contented and fulfilled 10%?
And I decided I wanted to bethe contented and fulfilled 10%.
So the big question is, whatdid I need to learn to stop
(17:27):
fighting?
Because life can be a fight.
And that's okay.
My wife and I were actuallytalking about that this morning.
Am I attacking life or am Iallowing life?
And I think it's reallyimportant distinction because
the fight is always with me.
(17:50):
The fight is always with me.
Whether I'm addicted tosomething, I'm overcoming
dysfunction, I'm taking risks,I'm losing, I'm vulnerable, I'm
all of these things, it's alwayswith me.
If I'm fighting drugs andalcohol, the fight isn't here.
It's not the drugs and alcohol,it's me.
(18:12):
And and so that's the fightwhere I need to alleviate that
with myself so that I canexperience life the way that
it's meant to be.
And a mentor of mine told me,told me a long time ago, he
said, as I was, you know, I grewup with my dad being tough, my
(18:35):
mom being tough.
I'm like, you know, it wasalways rub some dirt on it, no
pain, no gain, you know, allthat sort of stuff.
You're not hurt if there's nota bone sticking out or if you're
not bleeding out.
Yeah.
Like, okay, fine.
So I learned to be tough when Iwas a kid, and and I learned to
fight problems.
And they always talk aboutfight disease and fight this and
(18:55):
fight that.
And it's like, fight foreverything.
And and my mentor said to me asI was fighting my problems and
he was watching me and listeningto me fight problems.
He said, Daryl, and I wanteverybody to take this home.
When you stop fighting, thefighting stops.
And that was absolutely a lifechanger for me because it
(19:19):
doesn't mean stop trying.
It doesn't mean don't go afterlife and and and work at things
and try hard and all that stuff.
I think all of those things areincredibly important.
But I can spend so much timefighting myself and telling
(19:39):
myself, well, you shouldn't befeeling that.
You shouldn't be thinking that.
Why did you say that?
You're no good.
What are you doing?
You know, like all that sort ofstuff.
I'm, I can, I can stick myselfin the mud if I choose to, or I
can allow that fight with myselfto, and it doesn't go away all
(20:01):
at once.
I'll I'll I'll say one morething, Fatima, and I know I'm
getting a little long-windedhere, but there's a there's a
chapter in my first book calledThe Ass Kicking Machine.
And that's where I'm kicking myown ass all the time about
stuff that I think I'm doingwrong.
But here's the, and I did thatfor many, many years.
(20:23):
But if you're trying harder,you're probably gonna make more
mistakes.
If you're, if you're out there,you know, on the edges and
really giving it your all andgoing after life, there's a very
good possibility that it'sgonna hurt a little more and
you're gonna run into morehurdles, and you're gonna run
(20:46):
into things that you don't doexactly right.
And that's okay.
And that's where the fight is,you know, we and that's where
the ass kicking machine needs toget turned off.
Um, because because that's whatwe do to ourselves.
We defeat ourselves, and and wedon't have to continue to
defeat ourselves.
Fatima Bey (21:05):
So, what you're saying is we should stop trying
to work so hard at fighting andstart embracing.
Daryl Dittmer (21:15):
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
And and because we can eitherlive our lives, you know,
looking through the windshield,or we can live our lives looking
in the rearview mirror.
Oh, I like that.
And and normally, if I'mlooking in the rearview mirror,
it's because I'm regrettingsomething, because I'm like, oh
man, why did that happen?
Why did I do that?
(21:36):
Or why did they do that, or whyis the world so screwed up, or
all that sort of stuff.
And where I should be focusingmy attention is out the
windshield.
Okay, what's next?
What am I gonna do?
What am I gonna do to improvemyself?
Because if I improve myself,I'm improving the world.
If I'm not improving myself,I'm detracting from the world.
(22:00):
I truly believe that.
And so that's where that'swhere the effort goes, that's
where the emphasis goes, all inthe windshield.
What am I doing to make abetter me?
Fatima Bey (22:10):
I I I like your stance on this as a little bit
different than what I've heardfrom others.
Uh, you're not denying thefight, but you're saying to
basically mind shift the focusuh to building instead of
fighting, because those are twodifferent things.
Daryl Dittmer (22:26):
Absolutely.
I have, I have, and I grew upbeing a fighter.
I mean, I fought tooth andnail.
I'm ready to go.
Turn me on, man.
Get me going.
And uh, but but and and I willit, you know, I'm not a turn the
other cheek guy.
I am a if we're gonna fight,we're gonna fight.
(22:48):
And if we're gonna talk, we'regonna talk.
And if you're gonna ask me tobe honest, I'm gonna be honest.
But understand what you'reasking me for because I'll be
honest.
And and so, you know, all ofthose things don't have to do
with the fight with me.
All of those things have to dowith the fights outside of
myself.
And and as I calm internallyand I allow myself some grace,
(23:16):
and you know, somebody reallyintelligent said to me one time,
if you're not confused, you'renot trying hard enough.
You know, as I went to themconfused and like, oh man, what
do I do next?
You know, I just don't knowwhat to do.
And they're like, if you're notconfused, you're not trying
hard enough.
And I think there's a lot oftruth to that because the harder
we're going at it, you know,it's it's easier to find myself
(23:40):
in that state.
And and and letting go of thefight means it's okay to be
confused sometimes.
It's okay to not feel goodsometimes.
It's okay to be worn out andtake a break sometimes.
You know, these are all thethings that I can allow myself
to do so that I can continue tomove forward.
Fatima Bey (24:02):
Yes.
Now, I I you have a um, wehaven't gone over your your
history of your life in thisepisode because that's another
episode.
But um I want I want people tounderstand that you're not just
a guy who's talking out ofconcepts.
You really have lived a fulllife full of a lot of stuff that
(24:24):
you the principles that youteach about.
Can you give us an example?
And this is especially for myteenagers, of a mistake that you
made in your life that has thathas equaled to the wisdom that
you have today.
Daryl Dittmer (24:38):
Oh man, there's just been the litany of mistakes
that I've made in my life, youknow, um there's been a ton.
And the interesting thing is asI've grown older, um people say
(25:01):
to me, and and this isn't adirect answer to the question,
but I will I will get to it,Fatima, I promise.
Um you know, there's there's II'm a true believer that that
the mistakes are opportunitiesfor me to go in one direction or
go in another direction.
And there's always acrossroads, there's always
(25:24):
times, and this happens so manytimes in our lifetimes, and it
ha it's happened to me a milliontimes.
Um, but where do I go when Iknow what the right thing to do
is, and I don't go there.
I go and do the wrong thing forme, because because it's
grinding at my guts, and I knowI shouldn't do it, and I still
(25:48):
do it.
And and for me, one of thelarger, you know, quote unquote
mistakes in my life was wasgoing down the road of doing
drugs and doing, you know, harddrugs.
And and and it was a it was abad situation for, you know, and
and I didn't do them for 20years or 30 years.
(26:10):
I don't I think that if Ididn't get put into a treatment
center, a drug and alcoholtreatment center, I probably
wouldn't be alive.
Um and not necessarily becausethe drugs killed me, but because
of what Daryl became thatkilled him.
Um and whatever that was.
And and it was not, it was a itwas a very unhealthy human
(26:34):
being that that that thatdisliked himself and disliked
life and and had no hope uh atat 19 years old.
And that's not a great place tobe at 19 years old.
You're supposed to be havingfun, right?
So so how has that changed me?
And I and I think that I'm atrue believer that it's darkest
(26:58):
before the dawn.
And and sometimes we have to goto places that we don't want to
necessarily go.
And we're not even, we don'teven necessarily know we're
going there, but our decisionsbring us in that direction, and
they bring us in a directionthat that is not healthy for
(27:19):
ourselves or for other people.
Excuse me.
And then the decision comes.
Um, well, well, if I startmaking different decisions,
that's where I look back at mymistakes and I say, yes, it was
a terrible mistake.
Yes, it was a terrible place togo, but it also catapulted me
(27:41):
into the life or into adifferent life that I've built
into a life that I love.
So was it a mistake?
Yes.
But also, was it a steppingstone to a much better life
because I went down so far, Icould also go up so far.
And and that's not an excusefor making mistakes, but but
(28:04):
that's what can happen when westart making different and
better decisions for us.
Fatima Bey (28:10):
The reason I ask you that is there's there's a
16-year-old young man listeningright now who is has made
mistakes or is in the process ofmaking a mistake, maybe.
And listening to what you justsaid to me would give me hope
that, okay, maybe even if I makethis mistake, I can get out of
(28:31):
it.
Not that we should makemistakes like you just said, but
the reality is we have and wewill.
And that something better cancome out of it.
Um, but again, it's it's achoice.
(28:54):
As you've, you know, basicallystated all along, it's really
more about the choice than thefeelings.
So let me ask you this (29:00):
what advice do you have for the youth
in the world today?
Daryl Dittmer (29:04):
I think one of the most important things to
understand, and and it'ssomething that I had to be shown
and taught, was that the onlyperson responsible for building
the life that I want is me.
Nobody else is going to do itfor me.
Nobody's going to take thereins and say, you know what,
(29:26):
Daryl, I want you to befinancially independent.
I want you to be healthy.
I want you to have peace ofmind.
I want you to have meaning orpurpose.
I want you to have wonderfulrelationships.
Here you go.
Here's all the stuff youwanted.
It doesn't happen that way.
Now, there are wonderful peoplethat I've had in my life that
(29:47):
have helped me along the way,and that's a lot of what I've
put into my books is what peoplehave helped me to do in terms
of changing myself and my life.
But but if there was one pieceOf advice, it's it's you have to
build your own life.
Nobody's gonna build it foryou.
And and you the the sooner youstart, the better off you're
(30:12):
gonna be uh in terms of makingthose changes.
Fatima Bey (30:16):
Well, Daryl, where can people find you?
Daryl Dittmer (30:18):
Best place to find me is my website, which is
uh darylditmer.com,D-A-R-Y-L-D-I-T-T-M-E-R dot com.
Fatima Bey (30:29):
And that will be in the show notes.
He also can you tell us justbriefly about your podcast?
Daryl Dittmer (30:35):
Sure.
It's uh it's called When I StopFighting the Podcast.
I know it was a tricky onecoming up with that name, same
name as my book.
Um, but you know, it's it's soit was such a meaningful piece
uh of advice for me to get.
But but really what it is, it'sit's it's dealing with life,
(30:55):
it's everybody, you know,telling their story and diving
deep into what happened, whatwas it like, and more
importantly, and mostimportantly, how did you turn
things around and what have youbeen doing to improve over the
course of time?
And you know, we have guestsfrom from young folks to older
(31:19):
folks to um I have a woman thatI'm gonna have on.
She's 82 years old and she'swonderful.
And I just had a young lady onwho was uh 24 years old, and
she's absolutely wonderful.
And and sharing thoseexperiences and sharing
perceptions of living andperceptions of of what needs to
(31:42):
happen to improve and to step upand and uh and and those are
the things that we talk about.
Fatima Bey (31:48):
I will say to the audience, um I I think that you
should go listen to his podcastbecause one thing about Daryl,
and one of the reasons that he'son the show is he doesn't do
politically correct bullshit.
He's just really honest, reallyraw, and straightforward and
direct.
There is no under, there's noundercurrent of anything else.
He just says what he means.
(32:09):
And that's a lot easier tolisten to and to receive from um
and to get solutions from.
So um he does take a deeperdive into any different topics
related to all of this.
So if you really want to learna little bit more um and hear
more what he has to say on someof these other things, then you
do want to listen to hispodcast.
Although he has guests, you'restill gonna hear a lot of his
(32:31):
his voice and opinions.
Well, Daryl, thank you so muchfor coming on today.
I'm really glad you came on.
And my hopes is that youshifted a mind today, even if
it's just one.
Daryl Dittmer (32:42):
Thank you, Fatima.
It was really a wonderfulconversation.
I appreciate your verythoughtful questions and uh
looking forward to hearing thatwe help some folks.
Fatima Bey (32:54):
And now for a mind-shifting moment.
I want to point out somethingreally important that Daryl said
in today's episode.
You are the only one at the endof the day for creating the
life that you want to live.
Whether career, whether throughrelationship, are you creating
(33:19):
the life that you want to live?
Now, if you're 16, you mightnot know what that is yet.
Or you might know exactly whatthat is.
Many of you do.
Don't allow everybody else totell you what life you should be
living.
Don't allow everybody else todetermine your happiness or your
misery.
That's your choice.
(33:40):
You are the only one that'sgoing to make the life that you
want to live.
If you don't decide that youare going to make the life you
want to live, everyone else andanyone else will do it for you.
And that is guaranteed misery.
(34:01):
Make the life you want to live.
And do it now.
You've been listening to MindShift Power Podcast for complete
show notes on this episode, andto join our global movement,
find us at FatimaBay.com.
Until next time, alwaysremember there's power in
(34:25):
shifting your thinking.
Mind Shift Power Podcast.
This is Mind Shift PowerPodcast, the number one
critically acclaimed podcastwhere we have raw, unfiltered
conversations that shapetomorrow.
I'm your host, Fatima Bay, theMind Shifter.
And welcome everyone.
(00:22):
Today we have with us DarylDittmer.
He is out of the state ofGeorgia in the USA.
He is a podcast host and anauthor.
And you're going to find outhe's actually a lot more.
So I like to dive right intothe conversation.
Tell us, Daryl, tell us yourbackground and why are you here?
Daryl Dittmer (00:40):
Thanks so much for having me on, Fatima.
My background is, I guess itwould be best characterized as a
fairly humble and interestinglytumultuous beginning to my life
in the Midwest.
And, you know, I started off asjust a regular kid.
(01:03):
I loved sports.
You know, my dad was amechanic.
My mom took care of us kids.
You know, it seemed like aregular sort of life.
And uh and and it really wasfor quite some time.
My parents were both prettytough people.
Uh my dad was uh a Korean Warveteran, like I said, a
mechanic, just kind of ablue-collar, tough Midwestern
(01:26):
guy.
And my mom took care of thehousehold.
And sometimes I like to thinkmy mom was tougher than my dad.
Um, but that's that's fromwhence I came.
And why am I here?
I'm here to help.
I really, my life has been onethat's been characterized by
(01:47):
once I got my own head out of mybutt, um, I've had a wonderful
life.
And it's had its ups and it'shad its downs and it's had
challenges and lessons andaddiction and traumas and all
that kind of stuff thateverybody experiences to one
degree or another.
Um, and I've moved throughthose things.
(02:08):
And and I really, and I movedthrough a lot of them at a
fairly young age.
Um, so that I was able to openup my life to other things,
other good things, otherpositive and helpful things.
And now my intention in life isto pass on the things that I've
learned.
Fatima Bey (02:27):
And I'm glad that you're here to do that.
I think some of the greatestwisdom that we could ever obtain
is the crap we go through.
That there's nobody I knowthat's wise, that's lived a
perfect life, and they've neverbeen through anything.
Well, there is, but we have toclose our eyes because they're
only in our imagination.
It's what we go through thatactually helps us to gain the
(02:49):
wisdom that we can share withothers.
So I appreciate that you thatyou want to share your wisdom
with others.
And we're gonna talk about yoursome of your philosophies
because I think they're powerfulfor all of us, uh, regardless
of age.
Um, but especially in our inour current, at least Western
society, uh, we're gonna talk alot about that.
(03:09):
So you have a brutally honestmantra that says, Daryl, no one
cares how you feel.
Get off your ass and do itanyway.
Our culture teaches us tofollow our feelings.
So, why is this your mantra?
Daryl Dittmer (03:27):
Because I was told uh by a mentor of mine
many, many years ago, and andand you know, the the wonderful
thing about youth is I didn'tunderstand a bit of it.
Uh the wonderful thing aboutgetting a little older and
experiencing things, like youhad mentioned, is I can start to
(03:48):
get those things via myexperiences.
But if my experiences are onlythings that I want to do, and
only things that feel good, andonly things where I'm, oh, I
just want to be happy all thetime, and you know, I want to
be, you know, my my sort of piein the sky, head in the clouds
(04:12):
kind of thing.
That's not going to lead me tohappiness or contentment or
fulfillment.
And I look at I look athappiness quite honestly as more
fleeting.
But contentment andfulfillment, I think, are what
we're all looking for towhatever degree.
And there's a lot of thingsthat go into being contented and
fulfilled.
(04:32):
But how do I get there?
And and so a mentor of minesaid to me a long time ago, uh,
as I got involved in a 12-stepprogram at the age of 19, he
said, Daryl, the best time to goto a meeting is when you don't
feel like it.
The best time to work out iswhen you don't feel like it.
(04:54):
The best time to do the thingsthat are the best for you
sometimes is when you don't feellike it.
And that's why, and I'm notdiscounting people's feelings or
discounting my own feelings,but but sometimes we have to
take that hard line withourselves, not necessarily with
anybody else, but with ourselvesand say, and I have to say to
(05:17):
myself, Daryl, I don't care howyou feel, go do it.
Why?
Because that's what getsresults.
If it truly is, and and I'vedone a lot of wrong stuff.
I've done a lot of dumb stuff,I've done a lot of things that
don't contribute, or or I shouldsay, they contribute to my uh
(05:43):
demise, or they contribute to megoing in the wrong direction.
You know, I was when I was akid, I got involved in drinking
and then drugs and, you know, 13years old, and and and as it as
it went over the course of myteenage years, I got involved in
criminal stuff, and I gotinvolved in lying and cheating
(06:04):
and stealing, just not being agood person.
And that was me doing what Ithought was, oh, I'm just gonna
do life and I'm gonna have fun.
I'm gonna be a nut job and I'mgonna, I'm gonna be bad to
people, and all that sort ofstuff.
And it's like it and and youknow what it made me?
You know what it got me?
It got me miserable.
(06:24):
It got me to the point whereJanuary uh December 31st of
1984, I was at a New Year's Eveparty, and I was the loneliest
and most miserable I'd ever beenat any point in my life.
I had just turned 19 years old,and the thought came to me
maybe I don't want to be on thisplanet.
(06:46):
Maybe I don't want to be here.
That's what it got me.
That's what that's what doingjust what I thought I wanted to
do got me.
And I had to learn a differentway of life.
Fatima Bey (06:57):
You're absolutely right.
Only doing what we feel likedoing, what feels good all the
time, does lead to misery.
That's why we have so many richand famous people who are
miserable.
They have enough money to getand do whatever they want.
Yet they're not happy.
You know, people don't thinkabout that.
Absolutely.
But let's um as you said, youyou call out the trap of I don't
(07:18):
feel like it.
Uh today's youth are drowningin a culture of vibes and
feelings.
What about someone who feelsparalyzed by fear and lack of
motivation?
How do they take the first stepto do it anyway?
Daryl Dittmer (07:36):
You know, that's a difficult place to be.
And and I have been there and Iand I want to acknowledge,
certainly, because I've beenthere, that it is difficult.
And it and it feels like, and II say now, I have a brother who
is quite honestly a littleolder than me, and I love him to
(07:58):
death.
He's a wonderful human being,and he's great, but he still
gets paralyzed by fears.
And and that has not changedfor him over the course of time.
And I really think it'simportant to look at.
I studied successful people,and when I say successful, I
(08:22):
don't mean necessarilyfinancially.
I mean people who have greatrelationships, who have some
contentment in their lives, whohave peace of mind, who have
meaning or purpose.
And, you know, financialsecurity can come with all that
stuff, but but those are thepeople, and if we listen to
those people, they will say youhave to feel the fear and do it
(08:48):
anyway.
And it's okay to have the fear.
And I think that's an importantthing for people to understand,
especially younger people, um,because younger people will feel
the fear if it's unfamiliarterritory.
And and I still feel fearsometimes about things that I
don't necessarily want to do.
(09:08):
And, you know, writing a bookand doing a podcast was like, oh
man, really?
You know, people who knew whoknow me from back in the day
would say, Daryl does a podcast.
I didn't want to.
I didn't want to.
I really and I didn't want tobe a guest on podcasts, but but
if the larger goal, and I thinkthis is an important thing for
(09:29):
to for for younger folks tounderstand, if your larger goal
includes steps that are scary,you have to take the steps that
are scary to get to the largergoal.
And sometimes you just got tobuckle down and talk yourself
into it.
And I did that many, manytimes.
(09:50):
Many, many times I had to dothat.
Daryl, I and I I think anotherplace where we get stuck, and
and you know, this is the partof the fight that I talk about
in some of my work, is is we getstuck because we tell
ourselves, well, I'm just gonna,you know, I don't, I'm not
scared.
I'm and meanwhile, you'reparalyzed.
(10:12):
Like, just understand that youare scared.
And it's okay to be scared, andit's also okay to move forward
when you're scared.
And I I think that's probablythe the most important advice I
could give regarding breakingout of that paralyzed state.
Fatima Bey (10:30):
Very good.
I I always I have a saying forthat, and I've I find myself
saying it on the podcast quiteoften, actually.
And that is it's not about it'snot about feelings.
It's about it's not a feeling,it's a decision.
Make a decision and yourfeelings will follow the
decision.
You might feel the fear atfirst, but after a while, you're
you're not scared.
(10:50):
Just like we were scared whenwe first learned how to ride a
bike.
We keep riding it, andeventually you're not scared to
ride a bike anymore.
You know, um, but you'reabsolutely right.
Being ab just, you know, asNike says, just do it.
Um really matters.
Now, I want to take a deeperdive into a piece of what you
just said.
You say that doing things wedon't feel like doing is what
(11:14):
gives us the most freedom.
That's a huge contrast for ayoung person who thinks that
freedom means doing whatever wewant and you know, whenever
whenever they want.
Um, how does disciplineactually create more freedom
than just following ourimpulses?
We talked about it a littlebit, but I want to take a deeper
dive.
How does that actually createfreedom?
Daryl Dittmer (11:36):
Discipline is what I decide to do with my life
and with myself over the courseof time.
I I believe discipline andconsistency, I talk about a
little bit in my in one of mybooks that that they are
centuries on the path of meachieving and doing things and
(12:00):
and moving, uh leveling up andmoving forward.
And and if I'm not disciplinedand I'm not consistent about
that discipline over time, it'sit's seriously like a like a
boat without an engine and arudder.
If it's just sitting therebobbing in the water, it's going
(12:20):
wherever the water decides togo.
As the tides change, as thecurrents change, all that sort
of stuff, I'm just gonna go withthe tide, I'm just gonna go
with the current, and I can endup uh shipwrecked, I can end up
or you know, run aground, I canend up anywhere, I can end up
sunk.
And I think it's reallyimportant, you know, that
(12:40):
freedom for me, the freedom forme is is having created many
disciplines for myself over theyears, and some I've been really
good at, some I've sucked at,some I've been inconsistent
about.
But, and that's okay.
You know, it it's it's we wedon't need to spend time beating
(13:03):
the crap out of ourselves forthings we didn't do.
We need to spend our time uhemploying that discipline in our
lives.
And for me, it's it's and it'sbeen going on for a long time.
It's it's daily practices, it'sthings that I that I will not
compromise on.
It's you know, whether it'sbusiness stuff or physical
(13:26):
activity or uh, you know, thingsfor my my mind and my heart and
my soul and reading and thosekinds of things.
It's things that I don'tcompromise on.
Now, do I do it perfectly?
I don't do it perfectly, andthat's okay.
But but the consistent threatover time has brought me to a
(13:46):
place where I wake up every dayand I love my life.
And I think that's that is whatpeople want ultimately is to
wake up every day and love yourlife.
And what greater freedom couldthere be than that?
Fatima Bey (14:04):
So, what you're saying is for someone who's 16
and listening right now, thediscipline they practice today
will give them freedom to livetheir life how they want
tomorrow.
Daryl Dittmer (14:16):
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Uh, you know, and and and I'm afan of I have to be, I have to
be intelligent with myself.
I can't just pound myself intothe dirt every single day, and
you know, you gotta do this, yougotta do that, and you gotta do
that.
Different things come up atdifferent times, and different
(14:40):
disciplines come up at differenttimes.
And there was a time when I wasmore focused on the discipline
that I needed to have from abusiness perspective than I was
necessarily at the things Ineeded to do for myself from a
mental, emotional, and physicalperspective.
Um and as I grew older, I hadto pay more attention to the
(15:02):
physical, mental, and spiritualperspective, you know, and and
as we grow older, we we cangather new things because one of
the things that I've learned inmy life, which I think is
incredibly valuable and and Iwould say indispensable, is I
haven't found out necessarilywhat works, but I have found out
(15:26):
what doesn't work.
And I don't do that stuff.
You know what?
Fatima Bey (15:30):
And I think that's that's a great place to we can
we can all I don't care how oldyou are, we can all learn that
lesson.
Find out what doesn't work anddon't do that.
That helps you to find out whatdoes.
And that's part of discipline.
Yeah.
Now let's talk about yourbooks.
You have a couple of books thatI find interesting because
they're similarly titled, yet soso different.
(15:52):
So you have uh two books calledWhen I Stop Fighting, and the
other one is When You StopFighting.
And I forget which one of themtells you tells people to get
their head out of their ass.
But you're but yet yourphilosophy is about pushing
through fear, discomfort, whichsounds a lot like a fight.
(16:13):
So who or what should we stopfighting?
What are you talking about?
Daryl Dittmer (16:17):
Well, uh the first book, When I Stop
Fighting, and the subtitle isThe Unexpected Joy of Getting My
Head Out of My Ass, which waskind of tongue-in-cheek, but
also very true.
And and and I had to learn, andsuccessful people will say
this, and and and it doesn'tnecessarily mean financial
success.
I never mean financial successsolely when I say success, but
(16:42):
but people who are are you knowenjoying their lives, whatever
that is.
And and so they will say, youknow, it's probably somewhere in
the you know, 10% neighborhoodof people on this planet are
really gonna enjoy their livesand as they go through them and
(17:04):
they learn different things andthis and that.
So so for me, I had to askmyself, where do I want to be in
that mix?
Do I want to be the miserable10%, or do I want to be the
contented and fulfilled 10%?
And I decided I wanted to bethe contented and fulfilled 10%.
So the big question is, whatdid I need to learn to stop
(17:27):
fighting?
Because life can be a fight.
And that's okay.
My wife and I were actuallytalking about that this morning.
Am I attacking life or am Iallowing life?
And I think it's reallyimportant distinction because
the fight is always with me.
(17:50):
The fight is always with me.
Whether I'm addicted tosomething, I'm overcoming
dysfunction, I'm taking risks,I'm losing, I'm vulnerable, I'm
all of these things, it's alwayswith me.
If I'm fighting drugs andalcohol, the fight isn't here.
It's not the drugs and alcohol,it's me.
(18:12):
And and so that's the fightwhere I need to alleviate that
with myself so that I canexperience life the way that
it's meant to be.
And a mentor of mine told me,told me a long time ago, he
said, as I was, you know, I grewup with my dad being tough, my
(18:35):
mom being tough.
I'm like, you know, it wasalways rub some dirt on it, no
pain, no gain, you know, allthat sort of stuff.
You're not hurt if there's nota bone sticking out or if you're
not bleeding out.
Yeah.
Like, okay, fine.
So I learned to be tough when Iwas a kid, and and I learned to
fight problems.
And they always talk aboutfight disease and fight this and
(18:55):
fight that.
And it's like, fight foreverything.
And and my mentor said to me asI was fighting my problems and
he was watching me and listeningto me fight problems.
He said, Daryl, and I wanteverybody to take this home.
When you stop fighting, thefighting stops.
And that was absolutely a lifechanger for me because it
(19:19):
doesn't mean stop trying.
It doesn't mean don't go afterlife and and and work at things
and try hard and all that stuff.
I think all of those things areincredibly important.
But I can spend so much timefighting myself and telling
(19:39):
myself, well, you shouldn't befeeling that.
You shouldn't be thinking that.
Why did you say that?
You're no good.
What are you doing?
You know, like all that sort ofstuff.
I'm, I can, I can stick myselfin the mud if I choose to, or I
can allow that fight with myselfto, and it doesn't go away all
(20:01):
at once.
I'll I'll I'll say one morething, Fatima, and I know I'm
getting a little long-windedhere, but there's a there's a
chapter in my first book calledThe Ass Kicking Machine.
And that's where I'm kicking myown ass all the time about
stuff that I think I'm doingwrong.
But here's the, and I did thatfor many, many years.
(20:23):
But if you're trying harder,you're probably gonna make more
mistakes.
If you're, if you're out there,you know, on the edges and
really giving it your all andgoing after life, there's a very
good possibility that it'sgonna hurt a little more and
you're gonna run into morehurdles, and you're gonna run
(20:46):
into things that you don't doexactly right.
And that's okay.
And that's where the fight is,you know, we and that's where
the ass kicking machine needs toget turned off.
Um, because because that's whatwe do to ourselves.
We defeat ourselves, and and wedon't have to continue to
defeat ourselves.
Fatima Bey (21:05):
So, what you're saying is we should stop trying
to work so hard at fighting andstart embracing.
Daryl Dittmer (21:15):
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
And and because we can eitherlive our lives, you know,
looking through the windshield,or we can live our lives looking
in the rearview mirror.
Oh, I like that.
And and normally, if I'mlooking in the rearview mirror,
it's because I'm regrettingsomething, because I'm like, oh
man, why did that happen?
Why did I do that?
(21:36):
Or why did they do that, or whyis the world so screwed up, or
all that sort of stuff.
And where I should be focusingmy attention is out the
windshield.
Okay, what's next?
What am I gonna do?
What am I gonna do to improvemyself?
Because if I improve myself,I'm improving the world.
If I'm not improving myself,I'm detracting from the world.
(22:00):
I truly believe that.
And so that's where that'swhere the effort goes, that's
where the emphasis goes, all inthe windshield.
What am I doing to make abetter me?
Fatima Bey (22:10):
I I I like your stance on this as a little bit
different than what I've heardfrom others.
Uh, you're not denying thefight, but you're saying to
basically mind shift the focusuh to building instead of
fighting, because those are twodifferent things.
Daryl Dittmer (22:26):
Absolutely.
I have, I have, and I grew upbeing a fighter.
I mean, I fought tooth andnail.
I'm ready to go.
Turn me on, man.
Get me going.
And uh, but but and and I willit, you know, I'm not a turn the
other cheek guy.
I am a if we're gonna fight,we're gonna fight.
(22:48):
And if we're gonna talk, we'regonna talk.
And if you're gonna ask me tobe honest, I'm gonna be honest.
But understand what you'reasking me for because I'll be
honest.
And and so, you know, all ofthose things don't have to do
with the fight with me.
All of those things have to dowith the fights outside of
myself.
And and as I calm internallyand I allow myself some grace,
(23:16):
and you know, somebody reallyintelligent said to me one time,
if you're not confused, you'renot trying hard enough.
You know, as I went to themconfused and like, oh man, what
do I do next?
You know, I just don't knowwhat to do.
And they're like, if you're notconfused, you're not trying
hard enough.
And I think there's a lot oftruth to that because the harder
we're going at it, you know,it's it's easier to find myself
(23:40):
in that state.
And and and letting go of thefight means it's okay to be
confused sometimes.
It's okay to not feel goodsometimes.
It's okay to be worn out andtake a break sometimes.
You know, these are all thethings that I can allow myself
to do so that I can continue tomove forward.
Fatima Bey (24:02):
Yes.
Now, I I you have a um, wehaven't gone over your your
history of your life in thisepisode because that's another
episode.
But um I want I want people tounderstand that you're not just
a guy who's talking out ofconcepts.
You really have lived a fulllife full of a lot of stuff that
(24:24):
you the principles that youteach about.
Can you give us an example?
And this is especially for myteenagers, of a mistake that you
made in your life that has thathas equaled to the wisdom that
you have today.
Daryl Dittmer (24:38):
Oh man, there's just been the litany of mistakes
that I've made in my life, youknow, um there's been a ton.
And the interesting thing is asI've grown older, um people say
(25:01):
to me, and and this isn't adirect answer to the question,
but I will I will get to it,Fatima, I promise.
Um you know, there's there's II'm a true believer that that
the mistakes are opportunitiesfor me to go in one direction or
go in another direction.
And there's always acrossroads, there's always
(25:24):
times, and this happens so manytimes in our lifetimes, and it
ha it's happened to me a milliontimes.
Um, but where do I go when Iknow what the right thing to do
is, and I don't go there.
I go and do the wrong thing forme, because because it's
grinding at my guts, and I knowI shouldn't do it, and I still
(25:48):
do it.
And and for me, one of thelarger, you know, quote unquote
mistakes in my life was wasgoing down the road of doing
drugs and doing, you know, harddrugs.
And and and it was a it was abad situation for, you know, and
and I didn't do them for 20years or 30 years.
(26:10):
I don't I think that if Ididn't get put into a treatment
center, a drug and alcoholtreatment center, I probably
wouldn't be alive.
Um and not necessarily becausethe drugs killed me, but because
of what Daryl became thatkilled him.
Um and whatever that was.
And and it was not, it was a itwas a very unhealthy human
(26:34):
being that that that thatdisliked himself and disliked
life and and had no hope uh atat 19 years old.
And that's not a great place tobe at 19 years old.
You're supposed to be havingfun, right?
So so how has that changed me?
And I and I think that I'm atrue believer that it's darkest
(26:58):
before the dawn.
And and sometimes we have to goto places that we don't want to
necessarily go.
And we're not even, we don'teven necessarily know we're
going there, but our decisionsbring us in that direction, and
they bring us in a directionthat that is not healthy for
(27:19):
ourselves or for other people.
Excuse me.
And then the decision comes.
Um, well, well, if I startmaking different decisions,
that's where I look back at mymistakes and I say, yes, it was
a terrible mistake.
Yes, it was a terrible place togo, but it also catapulted me
(27:41):
into the life or into adifferent life that I've built
into a life that I love.
So was it a mistake?
Yes.
But also, was it a steppingstone to a much better life
because I went down so far, Icould also go up so far.
And and that's not an excusefor making mistakes, but but
(28:04):
that's what can happen when westart making different and
better decisions for us.
Fatima Bey (28:10):
The reason I ask you that is there's there's a
16-year-old young man listeningright now who is has made
mistakes or is in the process ofmaking a mistake, maybe.
And listening to what you justsaid to me would give me hope
that, okay, maybe even if I makethis mistake, I can get out of
(28:31):
it.
Not that we should makemistakes like you just said, but
the reality is we have and wewill.
And that something better cancome out of it.
Um, but again, it's it's achoice.
(28:54):
As you've, you know, basicallystated all along, it's really
more about the choice than thefeelings.
So let me ask you this (29:00):
what advice do you have for the youth
in the world today?
Daryl Dittmer (29:04):
I think one of the most important things to
understand, and and it'ssomething that I had to be shown
and taught, was that the onlyperson responsible for building
the life that I want is me.
Nobody else is going to do itfor me.
Nobody's going to take thereins and say, you know what,
(29:26):
Daryl, I want you to befinancially independent.
I want you to be healthy.
I want you to have peace ofmind.
I want you to have meaning orpurpose.
I want you to have wonderfulrelationships.
Here you go.
Here's all the stuff youwanted.
It doesn't happen that way.
Now, there are wonderful peoplethat I've had in my life that
(29:47):
have helped me along the way,and that's a lot of what I've
put into my books is what peoplehave helped me to do in terms
of changing myself and my life.
But but if there was one pieceOf advice, it's it's you have to
build your own life.
Nobody's gonna build it foryou.
And and you the the sooner youstart, the better off you're
(30:12):
gonna be uh in terms of makingthose changes.
Fatima Bey (30:16):
Well, Daryl, where can people find you?
Daryl Dittmer (30:18):
Best place to find me is my website, which is
uh darylditmer.com,D-A-R-Y-L-D-I-T-T-M-E-R dot com.
Fatima Bey (30:29):
And that will be in the show notes.
He also can you tell us justbriefly about your podcast?
Daryl Dittmer (30:35):
Sure.
It's uh it's called When I StopFighting the Podcast.
I know it was a tricky onecoming up with that name, same
name as my book.
Um, but you know, it's it's soit was such a meaningful piece
uh of advice for me to get.
But but really what it is, it'sit's it's dealing with life,
(30:55):
it's everybody, you know,telling their story and diving
deep into what happened, whatwas it like, and more
importantly, and mostimportantly, how did you turn
things around and what have youbeen doing to improve over the
course of time?
And you know, we have guestsfrom from young folks to older
(31:19):
folks to um I have a woman thatI'm gonna have on.
She's 82 years old and she'swonderful.
And I just had a young lady onwho was uh 24 years old, and
she's absolutely wonderful.
And and sharing thoseexperiences and sharing
perceptions of living andperceptions of of what needs to
(31:42):
happen to improve and to step upand and uh and and those are
the things that we talk about.
Fatima Bey (31:48):
I will say to the audience, um I I think that you
should go listen to his podcastbecause one thing about Daryl,
and one of the reasons that he'son the show is he doesn't do
politically correct bullshit.
He's just really honest, reallyraw, and straightforward and
direct.
There is no under, there's noundercurrent of anything else.
He just says what he means.
(32:09):
And that's a lot easier tolisten to and to receive from um
and to get solutions from.
So um he does take a deeperdive into any different topics
related to all of this.
So if you really want to learna little bit more um and hear
more what he has to say on someof these other things, then you
do want to listen to hispodcast.
Although he has guests, you'restill gonna hear a lot of his
(32:31):
his voice and opinions.
Well, Daryl, thank you so muchfor coming on today.
I'm really glad you came on.
And my hopes is that youshifted a mind today, even if
it's just one.
Daryl Dittmer (32:42):
Thank you, Fatima.
It was really a wonderfulconversation.
I appreciate your verythoughtful questions and uh
looking forward to hearing thatwe help some folks.
Fatima Bey (32:54):
And now for a mind-shifting moment.
I want to point out somethingreally important that Daryl said
in today's episode.
You are the only one at the endof the day for creating the
life that you want to live.
Whether career, whether throughrelationship, are you creating
(33:19):
the life that you want to live?
Now, if you're 16, you mightnot know what that is yet.
Or you might know exactly whatthat is.
Many of you do.
Don't allow everybody else totell you what life you should be
living.
Don't allow everybody else todetermine your happiness or your
misery.
That's your choice.
(33:40):
You are the only one that'sgoing to make the life that you
want to live.
If you don't decide that youare going to make the life you
want to live, everyone else andanyone else will do it for you.
And that is guaranteed misery.
(34:01):
Make the life you want to live.
And do it now.
You've been listening to MindShift Power Podcast for complete
show notes on this episode, andto join our global movement,
find us at FatimaBay.com.
Until next time, alwaysremember there's power in
(34:25):
shifting your thinking.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.