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Forget everything you thought you knew about motivation. In this mind-shifting conversation with life coach Guy Waltman, we uncover the profound misconception that's keeping millions stuck in perpetual inaction: waiting to feel motivated before starting.
"The greatest psychological plague of the planet," Guy explains, "is that people wait in order to feel motivated." Through his original "Windmill of Motivation" concept, Guy reveals how motivation isn't something we possess—it's something we generate, often only after taking that first difficult step. This revelation alone has the power to transform how we approach everything from daily tasks to life-changing pursuits.
Drawing from powerful personal stories, including how his parents' health struggles shaped his career path, Guy illustrates how our most difficult challenges often equip us with unique perspectives and abilities. He shares the remarkable story of a client who lost 410 pounds over four years, who doesn't regret his past because it gave him a gratification in life "greater than the vast majority of people."
The conversation expands into the critical role of "intangibles"—those unmeasurable qualities like emotional intelligence, forgiveness, and accountability that ultimately determine our success beyond mere talent. For younger listeners especially, Guy offers crucial guidance on navigating social media's distorted reality, emphasizing that "everyone around you is not living a better life than you," despite what carefully curated online personas suggest.
Whether you're struggling to find motivation, comparing yourself to others, or simply trying to understand what drives human behavior, this episode delivers transformative insights that will shift how you approach challenges and pursue your goals. Stop waiting to feel ready—the motivation you seek might be waiting on the other side of action.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Fatima Bey (00:01):
Welcome to MindShift Power Podcast, the only
international podcast focused onteens, connecting young voices
and perspectives from around theworld.
Get ready to explore the issuesthat matter to today's youth
and shape tomorrow's world.
I'm your host, fatima Bey, theMindShifter, and welcome
(00:24):
everyone.
Today, we have with us GuyWaltman, and he and I are going
to take a very deep dive intothe subject of motivation, and
so I'm really glad to have himhere today, and I will allow him
to introduce himself.
So go ahead, guy, and introduceyourself to the audience.
Guy Waltman (00:43):
Well, I appreciate the warm introduction and, for
those who don't want to be boredto death with a resume, I would
say that I am a son to twoincredible parents, I'm a
brother to an unparalleledsister, I am a proud boyfriend
to the healthiest and mostbeautiful love of my life and I
(01:05):
am a life coach, which issomething that I hope to add
some perspective on what thateven means here today.
Fatima Bey (01:13):
All right, so let's start off with that.
What is life coaching to you?
Guy Waltman (01:17):
Yes, so life coaching is a lesser understood
profession and it's viewed as bymany well, really just like,
not a serious profession becauseof how improperly so many life
coaches approach the space.
So let me tell you what lifecoaching isn't.
(01:39):
Life coaching is not being atherapist without a license.
Say that again, please.
Life coaching is not being atherapist without a license.
Fatima Bey (01:44):
Say that again please.
Guy Waltman (01:45):
Life coaching is not being a therapist without a
license right, that would bewhat's called illegal.
So what therapy is for, at leastlike for the intents and
purposes of this conversation, Ilike to describe therapy as 80%
the word would be reactive and20% proactive.
(02:08):
What do I mean by that, right?
So, as a therapist, you oftenfigure out, you often find out
what you will be discussing whenyour client shows up for the
session.
So a typical therapy sessionbegins with the therapist saying
so, tell me what's going on.
And then you, the client, youset the agenda, you talk about,
(02:30):
you know the shit going on athome or work, whatever.
And then there's a.
So that's the 80%.
Me as a therapist, I'm going tobe reacting to what you are
saying.
And then there's going to be aminority portion in which I'm
going to add some wisdom, someexpertise, and try and chime in
and give you a.
You know, maybe like a coursecorrection or something.
(02:50):
Life coaching is, the is theinverse of that.
So life coaching is 80%.
The big bulk is actually what Iam bringing to the table
because you, as the client, youare going to find out what we
are going to be discussing whenyou show up for the session.
So you show up and then me, theprofessional, I say so.
Here's what we are talkingabout today.
(03:12):
So it is the opposite oftherapy.
What life coaches have theresponsibility to do is have the
courage to say I am an expertin X, y or Z, so you can hire me
to teach you about that thing,and these are my credentials
that justify my expertise inthat thing.
And I think life coaching atits finest is actually sort of
(03:37):
like a school, where there's abona fide curriculum that people
can pay to traverse through,and that is my claim.
So, as a life coach, I proclaimexpertise in the domains of
physical health, mental healthand relationship dynamics, and
that is the bulk, if not thedamn near full extent, of the
(04:02):
proactive education that I givemy clients.
Fatima Bey (04:06):
Yes there, and thank you for that explanation.
There are lots of other thingsI could add to that list, but I
like the way you worded it.
There is a big differencebetween life coaching and
therapy and as a mind shiftcoach myself, I you know I have
the same conversations that youhave with people.
That all right, I, I dotherapize as a natural part of
(04:29):
coaching, but I'm not atherapist.
So if you're looking for atherapist, I can make some
recommendations.
Don't come to me for that,because it's not what I offer
and it's not what I do.
It's not what I'm trained in,you know.
Guy Waltman (04:40):
Something can be therapeutic and not be therapy,
right?
Ping pong is immenselytherapeutic for me, right?
Just the metronome of justhitting that ball on a table
that's folded in half just bymyself is therapeutic, right?
Things can be like rejuvenating, revitalizing, and the word
(05:02):
would be therapeutic, but not besomething that you had to go
and be a professional licensedtherapist to provide.
Fatima Bey (05:08):
Right, so tell us, how did you get into life
coaching?
Guy Waltman (05:13):
The journey began.
So as I sit here in the stateof contemplation, it's really
just to decide how extensive ofan answer do I want to provide,
because the professional path ofmine began at the university
level in which my father wasdiagnosed with a brain tumor.
So when that happened, what Ifound almost like impossible to
(05:41):
reconcile was how fascinating Ifound his brain tumor.
So the more I would research it, the more interest I had in it.
And I actually had a level ofguilt surrounding that, like how
, what kind of person am I thatI am finding this thing that's
killing my father so fascinating?
So what I did at that time wasI declared my academic studies
(06:06):
to neuroscience with a plan ofbeing a neurosurgeon which,
excited my mother, would be liketo be solely on the side of
treatment and not have a hand inprevention and I was an athlete
(06:33):
my whole life and I'm sure Iwould have been a phenomenal
surgeon.
I have good hands and steadyhands and a sharp mind and I'm
sure could have done great workas a, as a neurosurgeon, but I
don't think I would live afulfilled life.
(06:54):
I don't think I would havegratification in my work life if
I was again like, solely on theside of treatment, meaning
dealing with already existingbrain tumors.
I want a role in helping peopleoptimize their lives in the
first place and I believe thatthat is how I can make a far
(07:15):
greater impact on the world.
And that took some time tofigure out how I want to get
that accomplished, but Iultimately landed on life coach.
Fatima Bey (07:26):
So what motivated you to become a life coach is to
be the change you wanted to see.
Guy Waltman (07:32):
Yeah, certainly, yeah, yeah, my father and my
mother both serve as thefoundational inspirations in my
professional path, my father onthe physical health side and my
mother on the mental health side.
So my mother, she has had alife that is at least by like
(07:55):
western civilization standards,like here, for for myself anyway
.
In the united states my mom hada harder life than most the
United States, my mom had aharder life than most.
And the mind, just like thebody right, if you go into the
gym and you push yourself toohard, you can pull a muscle the
mind has a breaking point aswell, and my mom reached hers in
(08:18):
my, like, adult life.
And so here I was as aprofessional, really focusing
almost all of my efforts in thephysical health space for so
long, then witnessing my motherreach her psychological breaking
point.
And she had two bona fidesuicide attempts, one of which
(08:41):
has left her permanently damaged.
She had two strokes needed tohave three brain surgeries,
spent some time in the localhomeless shelter here where I
was or where I live, because sherefused to live with me,
because she didn't want to be aburden on my home life, like
with my romantic partner.
(09:01):
So she was actually homelessand receiving services from
society at large for a while,and so watching her mental
health decline combined withwatching my father's physical
health decline has turned meinto into the professional I am
now.
So yeah, it's, it's really bothof my parents that have served
(09:24):
to be my inspirations.
Fatima Bey (09:26):
So they inspired you in two very different ways.
Guy Waltman (09:29):
Yeah.
Fatima Bey (09:31):
And that's very fascinating.
Something that comes to mindwhen you talk about that is I
think a lot of times peopledon't recognize that what
they've been through can be auseful tool for their future if
they know how to use it.
You know, and I just we justheard you tell some of your
(09:52):
story and you turned it into auseful tool that to help you
know that motivates you to helpother people.
I think that that is awesome,that you've taken what you've
been through to and using it tocatapult you into a profession
that helps others.
Guy Waltman (10:08):
Oh, I have to think that that so many of the people
who you serve receive coachingfrom you in that, in that
similar vein, where you willcommunicate to them, not only do
you have something that you can, that you can offer the world
Right, but it is actuallybecause of what you have been
through or are presently goingthrough that will make you more
(10:32):
uniquely equipped to servesomeday right, like that old
adage, that you can onlyappreciate the view from the
mountaintop if you've been inthe deepest Valley.
Fatima Bey (10:42):
And so.
Guy Waltman (10:43):
I have clients who I mean my God, a client of mine.
His name was Scott Havens.
His name still is Scott Havens.
He's still alive.
You know, yeah, a client ofmine named Scott, and when I had
met Scott he was 640 pounds.
So, for perspective, if you canpicture a California king size
bed, when he would lay in thedead center of his bed, his
(11:07):
stomach would actually eclipsethe sides.
That's how much his stomachwould pan outwards.
And through working with Scottover four years of time he lost
410 pounds.
He lost 410 pounds.
And when asked, right.
So, scott, like, do you regretreally, uh, so much of your life
(11:33):
?
Right, because you don't, firstof all, you don't get that
heavy overnight and he stayedquite heavy for quite a long
time.
So we are talking about decadesof time, probably, probably two
decades of time in which he wasnot able to experience the
world in so many of the waysthat you and I take for granted.
(11:54):
So really it's kind of likejust like pissing 20 years of
your life down the drain.
So when asked, you know, scott,do you, do you have regrets
surrounding that?
He said I do not.
He said because the amount thatI appreciate life right now in
(12:14):
this new form, in this new body,with this, with these new
capabilities, I never would haveappreciated if, if I didn't
know what it's like in thedeepest valley, right, yep, that
mountaintop in the deepestvalley.
So he, he's saying that likesure I could have those 20 years
back, but it would have been 20years of just taking shit for
granted left and right.
(12:35):
He's like I actually have agratification in life that is
greater than the vast majorityof people, because of what I
went through and you know so toyour listeners.
There's you would be hardpressed to overemphasize to them
(12:57):
, because I know that you and Ishare similar coaching points in
this regard.
It would be difficult tooveremphasize to them that it
really is the struggle that willmake you more uniquely equipped
to both enjoy life and serveothers.
And I'll tell you one morething, if I may, not to bend
(13:18):
your ear too much, and I saythis through a comedic lens when
I rewind the clock to my daysas a single man and I would go
out on the dating scene, I oftenwould not seek a second date
because she didn't have enoughtrauma.
Fatima Bey (13:39):
It's like you're boring, You're boring.
Guy Waltman (13:44):
I need someone with some more trauma, right,
because that just gives you morecolor to your life.
Am I right?
Fatima Bey (13:52):
Yeah, when you're young and you don't know anybody
, you think that that's right,that's that.
Guy Waltman (13:57):
That's right, that's right, that's right.
Fatima Bey (14:03):
You realize that you don't want all that after a
while, so you have somethingcalled the windmill of
motivation.
Can you tell us what that is?
Guy Waltman (14:10):
Oh, certainly, you teed me right up.
So the windmill of motivationis perhaps the original concept
of mine that I am the mostexcited about, in that I think
it has the greatest potential toimpact human beings, able to
(14:32):
help you decipher any reason whyyou are struggling with
motivation in your life.
So what I am doing here is I'mmaking a really bold assertion,
which is that any time in yourlife that you are lacking
motivation, there is one of fivereasons for that.
(14:54):
Okay, five.
And so, really, the mystery ofmotivation?
Right for those?
Because there's, no, there's novisual here.
I'm putting up bunny ears thethe mystery of motivation really
is a mystery, no more.
In my proclamation, I believethere are five ingredients to
having world class motivation,and if you have all five of
these ingredients, you will runthrough a brick wall for the
(15:15):
things that you want.
But as soon as you miss evenjust a single one of these five
ingredients, you are immediatelyflatlined, melancholy and
unmotivated because of whatwindmills in the actual world
around us do.
(15:36):
So windmills, when you seethose things you know spinning
on the horizon, what windmillsare doing is they are generating
energy, and that is whatmotivation is within human
beings.
Motivation is a form of energy,right when people are described
as unmotivated or like lazy.
What you are describing is astate of low energy, and there's
(15:58):
a metaphorical inner windmillinside all of us that does not
automatically spin right, justthe same way that a windmill
doesn't have energy.
A windmill generates energy.
Humans don't just have energyor motivation either.
We have to generate it, justlike windmills do.
And again, there are fiveingredients to making that
(16:23):
happen.
Fatima Bey (16:23):
That's the windmill pieces of the windmill.
That um, that I had heard yousay before um really intrigued
me and I this is the one I wantto talk about.
Guy Waltman (16:46):
In order to be motivated, we need to feel first
right.
So, in order to take highquality action, you certainly do
not right.
In order to start.
Fatima Bey (16:57):
You most certainly do, but don't, I have to feel
like it first.
Guy Waltman (17:00):
Oh my goodness, no, oh my goodness no.
And and right there, See, youknow, with as I lean forward
here, you know 18, you know ishminutes into this podcast.
What we have arrived at and Ireally am not exaggerating this
is not hyperbole we have arrivedat if people could grasp how
(17:24):
profound this point is we havearrived at something that could
truly change the lives ofbillions of people, billions of
people, which is that, no, youreally don't need to be in the
mood right, you don't need tofeel like it right in order to
(17:44):
start.
And, in fact, the greatestpsychological plague of the
planet, at least in myestimation, is that people wait
in order to feel motivated.
Estimation is that people waitin order to feel motivated.
You know how sometimes a carneeds help turning on, like
literally getting started.
But once you turn it on, akalike you jump it right, Once the
car does turn on, the cardoesn't have any difficulty
(18:07):
staying on right.
So we need sometimes humansjust need a jump, that's it.
We just need jumper cables.
But once we start, it's nothard to keep going.
So when the dishes are piled upin my sink, I don't want to do
it.
I don't feel like doing thedishes right, and so I don't.
And I walk away and I keepcircling back and what happens,
(18:32):
ready is, the mess spreads.
So now the blankets aren'tfolded, the laundry needs to get
done, the trash is piling over,and so, finally, what I do is I
attach the jumper cables.
Okay, and so what are the jumpercables?
The jumper cables come in theform of just do it, Of just do
it anyway, even though youaren't in the mood.
Okay, Even though you don'tfeel like it.
(18:53):
It's called cognitive override.
That's the term.
Cognitive meaning like the mind, and override meaning we're
just going to override the factthat we don't want to do it.
So you just need to forceyourself into action and pick up
that first dish in the sink.
And guess what's not so hard topick up?
It's that second dish Right.
Once you pick, once youovercome that initial energy
(19:15):
needed to just start.
Next thing, you know you, youget like addicted to cleaning.
Has that ever happened to you?
Like honest, honest questions,Is it just me or has it actually
happened to you?
Where you start cleaning, allof a sudden, you're like getting
hooked on it, that you get likehooked on clean.
You don't want to stop cleaning.
You get hooked on it.
Fatima Bey (19:34):
I'm very clean, so yeah, don't want to stop
cleaning.
You get oh yeah, I'm very clean, so yeah, and it's like, oh
well, let me clean off the shelfnow.
You know what I should cleanout the fridge that's what it is
.
Guy Waltman (19:41):
So it's.
It's again not to beat thedetour right, but the car needs
a jump start and it comes in theform of jumper cables sometimes
.
The human being needs a jumpstart and it comes in the form
of a really valuable skill,which is just the discipline to
be able to force oneself intoaction even though you aren't
motivated.
Because, listen closely, do notmiss this.
(20:04):
This is the moment, ladies andgentlemen at home, this is the
moment, boys and girls, that youwant to hear, because the
greatest misconception ofmotivation is in thinking that
you have to be motivated beforeyou take action, because, in
actuality, we often don't getmotivated at all until we take
(20:30):
action.
We don't want to go to the gym,we don't feel like it, but once
you get there and you start,it's not hard to finish your
workout.
You don't feel like writingyour essay, but if you just sit
down in front of your laptop orpen and paper, once you just
(20:50):
start, the words just startflowing, the motivation kicks in
upon us starting.
So if we are waiting to bemotivated, we might be waiting a
long time.
Fatima Bey (21:03):
I'm going to bring this up.
I did an episode recently wherewe talked about unforgiveness
and we pointed out the fact thatforgiveness is a choice, not a
feeling.
The feelings will follow thechoice, and I think that
principle applies here as well.
It's not about feelings, thefeeling will follow the action.
(21:24):
Once you get started and Icompletely agree with you a
thousand percent I can thinkabout just working out.
You know you're like oh, Idon't feel like working out.
But then once you get there andyou start lifting your weights,
you start doing your leg press,whatever you're doing, then
it's like okay, it's not so hardto get onto the next one.
You just have to make thedecision to get started.
(21:46):
And then your real, yourfeelings behind why you want to
do it.
Well, they'll arrive.
Because it's like you said, thecar.
Guy Waltman (21:55):
You got the car started, so now the engine is
like all right, we're ready togo yeah, you know, I really
value that, that analogy thatyou gave and I and I really
appreciate that, that you aresharing a personal experience
from your life and we havekinship in that I, as a life
coach, I do a lot of teachingabout a very specific word and
(22:15):
that word.
There are many things in thisworld that are abilities that we
don't think of as abilities,right, so it's like so tennis is
obviously an ability, right,there's a, there's a spectrum of
ability, and if you can picturea, if you can picture a
(22:38):
spectrum right, a left to rightspectrum, then all the way over
to the right is Serena Williams,spectrum right, a left to right
spectrum, then all the way overto the right is Serena Williams
, okay, and all the way to theleft is a is an infant who is,
who isn't even able, right Toparticipate in the sport, right,
and then you and I aresomewhere in between, right, yep
, well, forgiveness is a skill,but we don't often think of that
as a skill.
(22:58):
You're vocalizing it as adecision and I completely agree
and I'm a hundred percentstealing that.
But you know what else it is.
It's an ability.
There are people who are betterat forgiving than others.
That makes it an ability, rightIf there's a spectrum of
ability and it makes it aability.
Right, all the way to the rightis Serena Williams in tennis,
(23:20):
and I suppose all the way to theright is Jesus Christ, right,
and then all the way to the leftwould be just someone right,
who, just who is probably thedevil right and just the
antichrist right, so, and thenyou and I are going to be
somewhere in between.
So a different ability thatreally warrants great
consideration is again like theability to do things when you
(23:41):
don't feel like it.
Right, that that is an ability,and there are people who are
just way better at that thanothers, right, like David
Goggins for those who might befamiliar with this Navy SEAL
from the United States or JockoWillink, or just think of any
like, think of any badass right,if you will.
(24:04):
Right, you know what they'vereally gotten good at through
Hell Week with the Navy SEALs,right, and all this stuff.
They've gotten really good atjust doing it anyway, which
applies not just to go into thegym, but it applies to doing
your taxes right.
It applies, my God, sometimesit applies to so many things
(24:26):
that in a vacuum or what I meanby in a vacuum, in when you look
at it on its own, you don'tthink has a great impact on your
life.
But if you, if you recognize thedegree in which these things
accumulate, they actually damnnear control your life, right
get, when you get home late andand you don't feel like jumping
(24:48):
in the shower because it's 11 pmand you feel like the shower's
gonna, you know, like wake youup or something.
You just feel like crawlinginto bed, but because you didn't
shower and you're sticky, youget in the bed.
Now you can't sleep, you justturn all night.
Well, now you wake up the nextday and now you're dog shit and
the whole next day's in thecrapper.
As opposed to whatever.
I don't feel like showeringit's 11 at night Do it anyway.
(25:10):
I don't feel like flossing Doit anyway.
Whatever that thing is, you justdo it anyway.
Oh my God, the accumulativeeffect of that across your
lifespan is what will is whatwill give you a shot at reaching
(25:33):
your full potential in life,and I can promise you that you
won't even scratch the surfaceof your greatest potential.
If you only do things when youfeel like doing it, absolutely,
you'll just never.
You'll never make the climb ashigh as you yearn to.
Fatima Bey (25:51):
I was yeah, you hit it at the end because I was
going to say the people whofollow this mindset, the people
who actually do the things thatthey don't feel like doing, are
the very people who usually aresuccessful.
The people who follow thismindset and understand that you
don't wait until you have afeeling to do what you need to
(26:11):
do.
The motivation will comeafterwards.
That's really, you know, as yousaid, self-discipline, and it's
the people with discipline thatare successful, not the most
talented, it's the people withthe most discipline.
You know you could be extremelytalented and that doesn't mean
a damn thing.
If you aren't disciplinedenough to do the right thing
consistently with it, then youcan't grow.
(26:32):
That's why you have see, that'swhy you see music stars that
pop up for about 15 minutes offame and then they fail.
Some of them is because theyhave a whole lot of talent and
nothing else, and some of themis because they have a whole lot
of talent and nothing else.
They have no discipline, nomaturity, no know how to handle
money, nothing else, and theydon't succeed.
The ones who do succeed usuallyhave more than just a singing
(26:54):
talent.
Guy Waltman (26:55):
Yeah, if I can introduce a word to to your
audience, keeping in mind that,you know, we, we both have a
spot in our lives for, for, justlike the younger people of this
world.
And there's a word that wasimmensely helpful to me when I
was growing up, and that wordwas, or is, intangibles.
(27:17):
Okay, so, like, what does itmean for something to be
tangible?
It means that you can touch it,right.
Intangible is, then, somethingthat you can't touch, right, but
that doesn't mean it's notreally important, right?
So for success, right, youthink that I have to be a good
singer, right?
So, like that's the skill,right?
Or I have to be good at, reallygood at, putting this
(27:39):
basketball in that hoop, right,that's tangible, I can see it.
Right, that ball's going to gothrough that hoop.
But often what holds people backfrom their success are the
intangibles.
So it's the things like youjust said, like your maturity,
right?
Or your level of kindnesstowards others, right.
(28:00):
So I don't, my God, you couldbe a really great basketball
player, but if no one likesbeing around you and you're just
constantly rubbing people thewrong way, well, then you might
not make the team and they'renot going to pass you the ball
right, your intangibles, okay,your, your.
You know an example of anintangible and I'll get out of
(28:22):
the sports analogy in a moment,but like in the basketball sense
, it'd be like are you clutch?
Do you want that ball in yourhand when the clock is winding
down?
In the fourth quarterto-daylife, amongst just people,
intangibles are just going to beagain that, that maturity level
(28:48):
, your level of, of emotionalintelligence, your level of of.
You know how how well read youare and your kindness and in
your level of appreciation,gratitude, how forgiving you are
, how remorseful you are meaning, how quick are you to apologize
when you realize you've donesomething wrong, how loyal are
(29:09):
you in your relationship.
These things really make theman and these things really make
the woman and shouldn't beforgotten or or underappreciated
in relation to the skill, rightor the or the thing that you
(29:31):
like, your dream.
Fatima Bey (29:32):
You know it's not enough to be great at your craft
, you have to also have theseintangibles I would like you to
right now, talk to all the teenslistening right now, if you
could give them one piece ofadvice.
What is it?
Guy Waltman (30:04):
I still identify as a young person.
I'm in my early thirties.
There's some, there's certainlife decisions that you start
contemplating when you are myage.
You think about being a dad andand bringing kids into this
world and stuff.
And I, I'll tell you, the worldright now is not an inspiring
place to to bring a kid into, atleast in my opinion.
And and part of the reason whyI would say is is the cell phone
(30:26):
and everything that goes withit, right and like in the social
media.
I, if, speaking to young people,if you were to ask me to kind
of like, give one singular pieceof advice that if you, just, if
you just trusted me, I knowit'll pay dividends.
It's just, either get off ofsocial media like entirely, or
(30:49):
at least build a healthy lensfor viewing everything you see.
It is like, I promise you,everyone around you is not
living a better life than you,but that's what Facebook and
Instagram make us believe,because through you know,
(31:10):
through taking 30 photos and theediting, you know, the filters,
the, just whatever it is, andpeople, by the way, they don't
post their bad days, right, sowhat you are seeing is a
collection of their brightestmoments, okay, and I'm telling
(31:34):
you, their life is not that good, it's not.
They aren't that happy, theyaren't that successful, they
aren't that happy, they aren'tthat successful they aren't.
And so not only is social mediaanti-social media, but if we
get too bound to it, then whatwe run, I would say, a very high
(31:58):
risk of, is we run the risk ofdoubting ourselves.
Right, because we're going tolook at our lives and we're
going to say, like, well, I'mnot, I'm not living a life that
good.
Well, yes, you are.
You just yes, you are right.
Like they maybe they're justposting their higher moments,
like they're not that far aheadof you.
You have to believe in yourself.
(32:18):
And those types of things, Ithink, start to get chipped away
at slowly over time when we'reglued to our phones.
Yes, and and yeah, I know thatyou need a phone, I get it.
I, I really do get it.
But if I was gonna be a father,I'm telling you something right
now they, my child, you get adumb phone, do you know how
(32:47):
psyched I was to get a razorback in the day.
Fatima Bey (32:55):
You remember that yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that was
the early 2000s.
You kidding me that razor.
Guy Waltman (33:02):
That razor did the job okay, like it was really
cool too, like it was right.
Like my kids are gonna have adump phone and and.
But I'm telling you like, likeyou and me, you and me, we had
to pick up a landline and thenhave an uncomfortable
(33:25):
conversation, yeah with, withyour friend's parent.
Be like hi, uh, is brian home?
Can I talk?
Can brian come and play?
Like that.
But that puts some hair on yourchest, like that.
That is good for you instead ofhiding behind a keyboard.
Fatima Bey (33:43):
Right, I really like what you said about not the,
the don't compare, and I thinkthat's like the the biggest
thing that you just said.
I just a lot of times, and thisis not just our youth doing it
either.
There are some grown-assteenagers who are in their 30s,
40s and and 50s who we're doingit to.
And comparing ourselves tofakeness.
Guy Waltman (34:05):
And that's what we don't realize is okay.
Fatima Bey (34:07):
We see a tiny piece of what they want us to see
that's already been manipulated.
We don't see the full pictureand in fact you're probably
doing better than them.
But you're comparing yourselfagainst a falsity.
So I agree with thatwholeheartedly.
Stop comparing yourself againstfakeness.
You are real, your life is real.
(34:29):
What they show you ain't.
Guy Waltman (34:34):
As cliche as this is.
The only person you should becomparing yourself to is you
yesterday.
Fatima Bey (34:40):
Yes, yes, actually, that's on my wall.
There's a version.
Guy Waltman (34:42):
Yes, actually, that's on my wall.
Fatima Bey (34:43):
Yeah, there's a version of that quote that's on
my wall, so how can people findyou?
Guy Waltman (34:49):
Your best bet to find me would be through the
website or really just throughInstagram.
The website is is my namecom,so it's guy Waltmancom G U Y W a
L T M a?
Ncom, and then the Instagramhandle, guy underscore
WaltmancomG-U-Y-W-A-L-T-M-A-Ncom, and then
the Instagram handle, guyunderscore Waltman.
If you reach out through eitherone of those pathways, I'm
(35:10):
bound to see it and really justwould love to hear from you.
I am, I think, of a real likesweet spot age in which I can
connect with both young andolder audiences, right, it's.
It's.
It's tough when you're, whenyou're in your 20s, trying to
command respect from adults,right, and parents, but I now
have, I think, enough lifeexperience which I'm able to do
(35:32):
that, and I would say reallyhalf of the work that I do is
with young people.
Fatima Bey (35:39):
Do you speak at schools and?
Guy Waltman (35:41):
colleges All the time, school assemblies, and I
have about a dozen and maybejust shy of a dozen higher
education institutions in whichI'll do some guest lecturing.
I'd say a big bulk of what I dois just like the keynote for
corporate professionals, but Inever turn down a school
invitation.
(36:01):
But I never turned down aschool invitation.
I don't do enough of it simplydue to just the difficulty with
school budgets and things likethat, but I certainly have never
turned down a school assembly.
Fatima Bey (36:13):
All right.
Well, thanks again, Guy, forcoming on.
I really, really appreciate youbeing a guest here on MindShift
Power Podcast and I hope thatyou were able to plant some
really powerful thought seeds inthe minds of the listeners
today.
Guy Waltman (36:29):
I would like to thank you for having me on.
You and I have built somerapport just in the week in
which we've gotten in touch, butto trust me with your listeners
means a great deal, so thankyou so much.
Fatima Bey (36:44):
Thank you.
And now for a mind shiftingmoment, I want to focus for a
moment on something that wetalked about, a principle that
we talked about in this episode,and you've heard me say before
stop waiting for your feelingsto guide you and tell you what
to do.
Stop waiting for your feelingsto guide you and tell you what
to do.
Stop waiting for your feelingsto be where you think they
(37:07):
should be before you make themoves you need to make.
That's what people who neverget anywhere do.
It's all about a decision.
Your feelings matter, but yourfeelings will follow.
Your feelings are fragile.
Your feelings can change likethe wind, but if you make a
(37:27):
decision, that's when thingsbegin to change.
You decide to forgive, youdecide that I'm going to get
this done, whether I feel likeit or not, and that's how you
get it done.
And that's how you get it done.
What are you waiting for?
What area of life?
Are you waiting to feelsomething before you do it?
(37:49):
Now, specifically to ourAmerican audience, our culture
has taught us a lot of lies, andthis is one of them.
You do not have to havefeelings before you take action.
So I want you to go back andlisten to some of the principles
that guy talked about todaybehind making a move and then
(38:13):
getting motivated.
Many of you are successeswaiting to happen, but you're
sitting around and waiting for afeeling.
Get up and move and watch thefeelings follow.
Thank you for listening.
Be sure to follow or subscribeto MindShift Power podcast on
any of our worldwide platformsso you too can be a part of the
(38:36):
conversation that's changingyoung lives everywhere.
And always remember there'spower in shifting your thinking.
Welcome to MindShift Power Podcast, the only
international podcast focused onteens, connecting young voices
and perspectives from around theworld.
Get ready to explore the issuesthat matter to today's youth
and shape tomorrow's world.
I'm your host, fatima Bey, theMindShifter, and welcome
(00:24):
everyone.
Today, we have with us GuyWaltman, and he and I are going
to take a very deep dive intothe subject of motivation, and
so I'm really glad to have himhere today, and I will allow him
to introduce himself.
So go ahead, guy, and introduceyourself to the audience.
Guy Waltman (00:43):
Well, I appreciate the warm introduction and, for
those who don't want to be boredto death with a resume, I would
say that I am a son to twoincredible parents, I'm a
brother to an unparalleledsister, I am a proud boyfriend
to the healthiest and mostbeautiful love of my life and I
(01:05):
am a life coach, which issomething that I hope to add
some perspective on what thateven means here today.
Fatima Bey (01:13):
All right, so let's start off with that.
What is life coaching to you?
Guy Waltman (01:17):
Yes, so life coaching is a lesser understood
profession and it's viewed as bymany well, really just like,
not a serious profession becauseof how improperly so many life
coaches approach the space.
So let me tell you what lifecoaching isn't.
(01:39):
Life coaching is not being atherapist without a license.
Say that again, please.
Life coaching is not being atherapist without a license.
Fatima Bey (01:44):
Say that again please.
Guy Waltman (01:45):
Life coaching is not being a therapist without a
license right, that would bewhat's called illegal.
So what therapy is for, at leastlike for the intents and
purposes of this conversation, Ilike to describe therapy as 80%
the word would be reactive and20% proactive.
(02:08):
What do I mean by that, right?
So, as a therapist, you oftenfigure out, you often find out
what you will be discussing whenyour client shows up for the
session.
So a typical therapy sessionbegins with the therapist saying
so, tell me what's going on.
And then you, the client, youset the agenda, you talk about,
(02:30):
you know the shit going on athome or work, whatever.
And then there's a.
So that's the 80%.
Me as a therapist, I'm going tobe reacting to what you are
saying.
And then there's going to be aminority portion in which I'm
going to add some wisdom, someexpertise, and try and chime in
and give you a.
You know, maybe like a coursecorrection or something.
(02:50):
Life coaching is, the is theinverse of that.
So life coaching is 80%.
The big bulk is actually what Iam bringing to the table
because you, as the client, youare going to find out what we
are going to be discussing whenyou show up for the session.
So you show up and then me, theprofessional, I say so.
Here's what we are talkingabout today.
(03:12):
So it is the opposite oftherapy.
What life coaches have theresponsibility to do is have the
courage to say I am an expertin X, y or Z, so you can hire me
to teach you about that thing,and these are my credentials
that justify my expertise inthat thing.
And I think life coaching atits finest is actually sort of
(03:37):
like a school, where there's abona fide curriculum that people
can pay to traverse through,and that is my claim.
So, as a life coach, I proclaimexpertise in the domains of
physical health, mental healthand relationship dynamics, and
that is the bulk, if not thedamn near full extent, of the
(04:02):
proactive education that I givemy clients.
Fatima Bey (04:06):
Yes there, and thank you for that explanation.
There are lots of other thingsI could add to that list, but I
like the way you worded it.
There is a big differencebetween life coaching and
therapy and as a mind shiftcoach myself, I you know I have
the same conversations that youhave with people.
That all right, I, I dotherapize as a natural part of
(04:29):
coaching, but I'm not atherapist.
So if you're looking for atherapist, I can make some
recommendations.
Don't come to me for that,because it's not what I offer
and it's not what I do.
It's not what I'm trained in,you know.
Guy Waltman (04:40):
Something can be therapeutic and not be therapy,
right?
Ping pong is immenselytherapeutic for me, right?
Just the metronome of justhitting that ball on a table
that's folded in half just bymyself is therapeutic, right?
Things can be like rejuvenating, revitalizing, and the word
(05:02):
would be therapeutic, but not besomething that you had to go
and be a professional licensedtherapist to provide.
Fatima Bey (05:08):
Right, so tell us, how did you get into life
coaching?
Guy Waltman (05:13):
The journey began.
So as I sit here in the stateof contemplation, it's really
just to decide how extensive ofan answer do I want to provide,
because the professional path ofmine began at the university
level in which my father wasdiagnosed with a brain tumor.
So when that happened, what Ifound almost like impossible to
(05:41):
reconcile was how fascinating Ifound his brain tumor.
So the more I would research it, the more interest I had in it.
And I actually had a level ofguilt surrounding that, like how
, what kind of person am I thatI am finding this thing that's
killing my father so fascinating?
So what I did at that time wasI declared my academic studies
(06:06):
to neuroscience with a plan ofbeing a neurosurgeon which,
excited my mother, would be liketo be solely on the side of
treatment and not have a hand inprevention and I was an athlete
(06:33):
my whole life and I'm sure Iwould have been a phenomenal
surgeon.
I have good hands and steadyhands and a sharp mind and I'm
sure could have done great workas a, as a neurosurgeon, but I
don't think I would live afulfilled life.
(06:54):
I don't think I would havegratification in my work life if
I was again like, solely on theside of treatment, meaning
dealing with already existingbrain tumors.
I want a role in helping peopleoptimize their lives in the
first place and I believe thatthat is how I can make a far
(07:15):
greater impact on the world.
And that took some time tofigure out how I want to get
that accomplished, but Iultimately landed on life coach.
Fatima Bey (07:26):
So what motivated you to become a life coach is to
be the change you wanted to see.
Guy Waltman (07:32):
Yeah, certainly, yeah, yeah, my father and my
mother both serve as thefoundational inspirations in my
professional path, my father onthe physical health side and my
mother on the mental health side.
So my mother, she has had alife that is at least by like
(07:55):
western civilization standards,like here, for for myself anyway
.
In the united states my mom hada harder life than most the
United States, my mom had aharder life than most.
And the mind, just like thebody right, if you go into the
gym and you push yourself toohard, you can pull a muscle the
mind has a breaking point aswell, and my mom reached hers in
(08:18):
my, like, adult life.
And so here I was as aprofessional, really focusing
almost all of my efforts in thephysical health space for so
long, then witnessing my motherreach her psychological breaking
point.
And she had two bona fidesuicide attempts, one of which
(08:41):
has left her permanently damaged.
She had two strokes needed tohave three brain surgeries,
spent some time in the localhomeless shelter here where I
was or where I live, because sherefused to live with me,
because she didn't want to be aburden on my home life, like
with my romantic partner.
(09:01):
So she was actually homelessand receiving services from
society at large for a while,and so watching her mental
health decline combined withwatching my father's physical
health decline has turned meinto into the professional I am
now.
So yeah, it's, it's really bothof my parents that have served
(09:24):
to be my inspirations.
Fatima Bey (09:26):
So they inspired you in two very different ways.
Guy Waltman (09:29):
Yeah.
Fatima Bey (09:31):
And that's very fascinating.
Something that comes to mindwhen you talk about that is I
think a lot of times peopledon't recognize that what
they've been through can be auseful tool for their future if
they know how to use it.
You know, and I just we justheard you tell some of your
(09:52):
story and you turned it into auseful tool that to help you
know that motivates you to helpother people.
I think that that is awesome,that you've taken what you've
been through to and using it tocatapult you into a profession
that helps others.
Guy Waltman (10:08):
Oh, I have to think that that so many of the people
who you serve receive coachingfrom you in that, in that
similar vein, where you willcommunicate to them, not only do
you have something that you can, that you can offer the world
Right, but it is actuallybecause of what you have been
through or are presently goingthrough that will make you more
(10:32):
uniquely equipped to servesomeday right, like that old
adage, that you can onlyappreciate the view from the
mountaintop if you've been inthe deepest Valley.
Fatima Bey (10:42):
And so.
Guy Waltman (10:43):
I have clients who I mean my God, a client of mine.
His name was Scott Havens.
His name still is Scott Havens.
He's still alive.
You know, yeah, a client ofmine named Scott, and when I had
met Scott he was 640 pounds.
So, for perspective, if you canpicture a California king size
bed, when he would lay in thedead center of his bed, his
(11:07):
stomach would actually eclipsethe sides.
That's how much his stomachwould pan outwards.
And through working with Scottover four years of time he lost
410 pounds.
He lost 410 pounds.
And when asked, right.
So, scott, like, do you regretreally, uh, so much of your life
(11:33):
?
Right, because you don't, firstof all, you don't get that
heavy overnight and he stayedquite heavy for quite a long
time.
So we are talking about decadesof time, probably, probably two
decades of time in which he wasnot able to experience the
world in so many of the waysthat you and I take for granted.
(11:54):
So really it's kind of likejust like pissing 20 years of
your life down the drain.
So when asked, you know, scott,do you, do you have regrets
surrounding that?
He said I do not.
He said because the amount thatI appreciate life right now in
(12:14):
this new form, in this new body,with this, with these new
capabilities, I never would haveappreciated if, if I didn't
know what it's like in thedeepest valley, right, yep, that
mountaintop in the deepestvalley.
So he, he's saying that likesure I could have those 20 years
back, but it would have been 20years of just taking shit for
granted left and right.
(12:35):
He's like I actually have agratification in life that is
greater than the vast majorityof people, because of what I
went through and you know so toyour listeners.
There's you would be hardpressed to overemphasize to them
(12:57):
, because I know that you and Ishare similar coaching points in
this regard.
It would be difficult tooveremphasize to them that it
really is the struggle that willmake you more uniquely equipped
to both enjoy life and serveothers.
And I'll tell you one morething, if I may, not to bend
(13:18):
your ear too much, and I saythis through a comedic lens when
I rewind the clock to my daysas a single man and I would go
out on the dating scene, I oftenwould not seek a second date
because she didn't have enoughtrauma.
Fatima Bey (13:39):
It's like you're boring, You're boring.
Guy Waltman (13:44):
I need someone with some more trauma, right,
because that just gives you morecolor to your life.
Am I right?
Fatima Bey (13:52):
Yeah, when you're young and you don't know anybody
, you think that that's right,that's that.
Guy Waltman (13:57):
That's right, that's right, that's right.
Fatima Bey (14:03):
You realize that you don't want all that after a
while, so you have somethingcalled the windmill of
motivation.
Can you tell us what that is?
Guy Waltman (14:10):
Oh, certainly, you teed me right up.
So the windmill of motivationis perhaps the original concept
of mine that I am the mostexcited about, in that I think
it has the greatest potential toimpact human beings, able to
(14:32):
help you decipher any reason whyyou are struggling with
motivation in your life.
So what I am doing here is I'mmaking a really bold assertion,
which is that any time in yourlife that you are lacking
motivation, there is one of fivereasons for that.
(14:54):
Okay, five.
And so, really, the mystery ofmotivation?
Right for those?
Because there's, no, there's novisual here.
I'm putting up bunny ears thethe mystery of motivation really
is a mystery, no more.
In my proclamation, I believethere are five ingredients to
having world class motivation,and if you have all five of
these ingredients, you will runthrough a brick wall for the
(15:15):
things that you want.
But as soon as you miss evenjust a single one of these five
ingredients, you are immediatelyflatlined, melancholy and
unmotivated because of whatwindmills in the actual world
around us do.
(15:36):
So windmills, when you seethose things you know spinning
on the horizon, what windmillsare doing is they are generating
energy, and that is whatmotivation is within human
beings.
Motivation is a form of energy,right when people are described
as unmotivated or like lazy.
What you are describing is astate of low energy, and there's
(15:58):
a metaphorical inner windmillinside all of us that does not
automatically spin right, justthe same way that a windmill
doesn't have energy.
A windmill generates energy.
Humans don't just have energyor motivation either.
We have to generate it, justlike windmills do.
And again, there are fiveingredients to making that
(16:23):
happen.
Fatima Bey (16:23):
That's the windmill pieces of the windmill.
That um, that I had heard yousay before um really intrigued
me and I this is the one I wantto talk about.
Guy Waltman (16:46):
In order to be motivated, we need to feel first
right.
So, in order to take highquality action, you certainly do
not right.
In order to start.
Fatima Bey (16:57):
You most certainly do, but don't, I have to feel
like it first.
Guy Waltman (17:00):
Oh my goodness, no, oh my goodness no.
And and right there, See, youknow, with as I lean forward
here, you know 18, you know ishminutes into this podcast.
What we have arrived at and Ireally am not exaggerating this
is not hyperbole we have arrivedat if people could grasp how
(17:24):
profound this point is we havearrived at something that could
truly change the lives ofbillions of people, billions of
people, which is that, no, youreally don't need to be in the
mood right, you don't need tofeel like it right in order to
(17:44):
start.
And, in fact, the greatestpsychological plague of the
planet, at least in myestimation, is that people wait
in order to feel motivated.
Estimation is that people waitin order to feel motivated.
You know how sometimes a carneeds help turning on, like
literally getting started.
But once you turn it on, akalike you jump it right, Once the
car does turn on, the cardoesn't have any difficulty
(18:07):
staying on right.
So we need sometimes humansjust need a jump, that's it.
We just need jumper cables.
But once we start, it's nothard to keep going.
So when the dishes are piled upin my sink, I don't want to do
it.
I don't feel like doing thedishes right, and so I don't.
And I walk away and I keepcircling back and what happens,
(18:32):
ready is, the mess spreads.
So now the blankets aren'tfolded, the laundry needs to get
done, the trash is piling over,and so, finally, what I do is I
attach the jumper cables.
Okay, and so what are the jumpercables?
The jumper cables come in theform of just do it, Of just do
it anyway, even though youaren't in the mood.
Okay, Even though you don'tfeel like it.
(18:53):
It's called cognitive override.
That's the term.
Cognitive meaning like the mind, and override meaning we're
just going to override the factthat we don't want to do it.
So you just need to forceyourself into action and pick up
that first dish in the sink.
And guess what's not so hard topick up?
It's that second dish Right.
Once you pick, once youovercome that initial energy
(19:15):
needed to just start.
Next thing, you know you, youget like addicted to cleaning.
Has that ever happened to you?
Like honest, honest questions,Is it just me or has it actually
happened to you?
Where you start cleaning, allof a sudden, you're like getting
hooked on it, that you get likehooked on clean.
You don't want to stop cleaning.
You get hooked on it.
Fatima Bey (19:34):
I'm very clean, so yeah, don't want to stop
cleaning.
You get oh yeah, I'm very clean, so yeah, and it's like, oh
well, let me clean off the shelfnow.
You know what I should cleanout the fridge that's what it is
.
Guy Waltman (19:41):
So it's.
It's again not to beat thedetour right, but the car needs
a jump start and it comes in theform of jumper cables sometimes
.
The human being needs a jumpstart and it comes in the form
of a really valuable skill,which is just the discipline to
be able to force oneself intoaction even though you aren't
motivated.
Because, listen closely, do notmiss this.
(20:04):
This is the moment, ladies andgentlemen at home, this is the
moment, boys and girls, that youwant to hear, because the
greatest misconception ofmotivation is in thinking that
you have to be motivated beforeyou take action, because, in
actuality, we often don't getmotivated at all until we take
(20:30):
action.
We don't want to go to the gym,we don't feel like it, but once
you get there and you start,it's not hard to finish your
workout.
You don't feel like writingyour essay, but if you just sit
down in front of your laptop orpen and paper, once you just
(20:50):
start, the words just startflowing, the motivation kicks in
upon us starting.
So if we are waiting to bemotivated, we might be waiting a
long time.
Fatima Bey (21:03):
I'm going to bring this up.
I did an episode recently wherewe talked about unforgiveness
and we pointed out the fact thatforgiveness is a choice, not a
feeling.
The feelings will follow thechoice, and I think that
principle applies here as well.
It's not about feelings, thefeeling will follow the action.
(21:24):
Once you get started and Icompletely agree with you a
thousand percent I can thinkabout just working out.
You know you're like oh, Idon't feel like working out.
But then once you get there andyou start lifting your weights,
you start doing your leg press,whatever you're doing, then
it's like okay, it's not so hardto get onto the next one.
You just have to make thedecision to get started.
(21:46):
And then your real, yourfeelings behind why you want to
do it.
Well, they'll arrive.
Because it's like you said, thecar.
Guy Waltman (21:55):
You got the car started, so now the engine is
like all right, we're ready togo yeah, you know, I really
value that, that analogy thatyou gave and I and I really
appreciate that, that you aresharing a personal experience
from your life and we havekinship in that I, as a life
coach, I do a lot of teachingabout a very specific word and
(22:15):
that word.
There are many things in thisworld that are abilities that we
don't think of as abilities,right, so it's like so tennis is
obviously an ability, right,there's a, there's a spectrum of
ability, and if you can picturea, if you can picture a
(22:38):
spectrum right, a left to rightspectrum, then all the way over
to the right is Serena Williams,spectrum right, a left to right
spectrum, then all the way overto the right is Serena Williams
, okay, and all the way to theleft is a is an infant who is,
who isn't even able, right Toparticipate in the sport, right,
and then you and I aresomewhere in between, right, yep
, well, forgiveness is a skill,but we don't often think of that
as a skill.
(22:58):
You're vocalizing it as adecision and I completely agree
and I'm a hundred percentstealing that.
But you know what else it is.
It's an ability.
There are people who are betterat forgiving than others.
That makes it an ability, rightIf there's a spectrum of
ability and it makes it aability.
Right, all the way to the rightis Serena Williams in tennis,
(23:20):
and I suppose all the way to theright is Jesus Christ, right,
and then all the way to the leftwould be just someone right,
who, just who is probably thedevil right and just the
antichrist right, so, and thenyou and I are going to be
somewhere in between.
So a different ability thatreally warrants great
consideration is again like theability to do things when you
(23:41):
don't feel like it.
Right, that that is an ability,and there are people who are
just way better at that thanothers, right, like David
Goggins for those who might befamiliar with this Navy SEAL
from the United States or JockoWillink, or just think of any
like, think of any badass right,if you will.
(24:04):
Right, you know what they'vereally gotten good at through
Hell Week with the Navy SEALs,right, and all this stuff.
They've gotten really good atjust doing it anyway, which
applies not just to go into thegym, but it applies to doing
your taxes right.
It applies, my God, sometimesit applies to so many things
(24:26):
that in a vacuum or what I meanby in a vacuum, in when you look
at it on its own, you don'tthink has a great impact on your
life.
But if you, if you recognize thedegree in which these things
accumulate, they actually damnnear control your life, right
get, when you get home late andand you don't feel like jumping
(24:48):
in the shower because it's 11 pmand you feel like the shower's
gonna, you know, like wake youup or something.
You just feel like crawlinginto bed, but because you didn't
shower and you're sticky, youget in the bed.
Now you can't sleep, you justturn all night.
Well, now you wake up the nextday and now you're dog shit and
the whole next day's in thecrapper.
As opposed to whatever.
I don't feel like showeringit's 11 at night Do it anyway.
(25:10):
I don't feel like flossing Doit anyway.
Whatever that thing is, you justdo it anyway.
Oh my God, the accumulativeeffect of that across your
lifespan is what will is whatwill give you a shot at reaching
(25:33):
your full potential in life,and I can promise you that you
won't even scratch the surfaceof your greatest potential.
If you only do things when youfeel like doing it, absolutely,
you'll just never.
You'll never make the climb ashigh as you yearn to.
Fatima Bey (25:51):
I was yeah, you hit it at the end because I was
going to say the people whofollow this mindset, the people
who actually do the things thatthey don't feel like doing, are
the very people who usually aresuccessful.
The people who follow thismindset and understand that you
don't wait until you have afeeling to do what you need to
(26:11):
do.
The motivation will comeafterwards.
That's really, you know, as yousaid, self-discipline, and it's
the people with discipline thatare successful, not the most
talented, it's the people withthe most discipline.
You know you could be extremelytalented and that doesn't mean
a damn thing.
If you aren't disciplinedenough to do the right thing
consistently with it, then youcan't grow.
(26:32):
That's why you have see, that'swhy you see music stars that
pop up for about 15 minutes offame and then they fail.
Some of them is because theyhave a whole lot of talent and
nothing else, and some of themis because they have a whole lot
of talent and nothing else.
They have no discipline, nomaturity, no know how to handle
money, nothing else, and theydon't succeed.
The ones who do succeed usuallyhave more than just a singing
(26:54):
talent.
Guy Waltman (26:55):
Yeah, if I can introduce a word to to your
audience, keeping in mind that,you know, we, we both have a
spot in our lives for, for, justlike the younger people of this
world.
And there's a word that wasimmensely helpful to me when I
was growing up, and that wordwas, or is, intangibles.
(27:17):
Okay, so, like, what does itmean for something to be
tangible?
It means that you can touch it,right.
Intangible is, then, somethingthat you can't touch, right, but
that doesn't mean it's notreally important, right?
So for success, right, youthink that I have to be a good
singer, right?
So, like that's the skill,right?
Or I have to be good at, reallygood at, putting this
(27:39):
basketball in that hoop, right,that's tangible, I can see it.
Right, that ball's going to gothrough that hoop.
But often what holds people backfrom their success are the
intangibles.
So it's the things like youjust said, like your maturity,
right?
Or your level of kindnesstowards others, right.
(28:00):
So I don't, my God, you couldbe a really great basketball
player, but if no one likesbeing around you and you're just
constantly rubbing people thewrong way, well, then you might
not make the team and they'renot going to pass you the ball
right, your intangibles, okay,your, your.
You know an example of anintangible and I'll get out of
(28:22):
the sports analogy in a moment,but like in the basketball sense
, it'd be like are you clutch?
Do you want that ball in yourhand when the clock is winding
down?
In the fourth quarterto-daylife, amongst just people,
intangibles are just going to beagain that, that maturity level
(28:48):
, your level of, of emotionalintelligence, your level of of.
You know how how well read youare and your kindness and in
your level of appreciation,gratitude, how forgiving you are
, how remorseful you are meaning, how quick are you to apologize
when you realize you've donesomething wrong, how loyal are
(29:09):
you in your relationship.
These things really make theman and these things really make
the woman and shouldn't beforgotten or or underappreciated
in relation to the skill, rightor the or the thing that you
(29:31):
like, your dream.
Fatima Bey (29:32):
You know it's not enough to be great at your craft
, you have to also have theseintangibles I would like you to
right now, talk to all the teenslistening right now, if you
could give them one piece ofadvice.
What is it?
Guy Waltman (30:04):
I still identify as a young person.
I'm in my early thirties.
There's some, there's certainlife decisions that you start
contemplating when you are myage.
You think about being a dad andand bringing kids into this
world and stuff.
And I, I'll tell you, the worldright now is not an inspiring
place to to bring a kid into, atleast in my opinion.
And and part of the reason whyI would say is is the cell phone
(30:26):
and everything that goes withit, right and like in the social
media.
I, if, speaking to young people,if you were to ask me to kind
of like, give one singular pieceof advice that if you, just, if
you just trusted me, I knowit'll pay dividends.
It's just, either get off ofsocial media like entirely, or
(30:49):
at least build a healthy lensfor viewing everything you see.
It is like, I promise you,everyone around you is not
living a better life than you,but that's what Facebook and
Instagram make us believe,because through you know,
(31:10):
through taking 30 photos and theediting, you know, the filters,
the, just whatever it is, andpeople, by the way, they don't
post their bad days, right, sowhat you are seeing is a
collection of their brightestmoments, okay, and I'm telling
(31:34):
you, their life is not that good, it's not.
They aren't that happy, theyaren't that successful, they
aren't that happy, they aren'tthat successful they aren't.
And so not only is social mediaanti-social media, but if we
get too bound to it, then whatwe run, I would say, a very high
(31:58):
risk of, is we run the risk ofdoubting ourselves.
Right, because we're going tolook at our lives and we're
going to say, like, well, I'mnot, I'm not living a life that
good.
Well, yes, you are.
You just yes, you are right.
Like they maybe they're justposting their higher moments,
like they're not that far aheadof you.
You have to believe in yourself.
(32:18):
And those types of things, Ithink, start to get chipped away
at slowly over time when we'reglued to our phones.
Yes, and and yeah, I know thatyou need a phone, I get it.
I, I really do get it.
But if I was gonna be a father,I'm telling you something right
now they, my child, you get adumb phone, do you know how
(32:47):
psyched I was to get a razorback in the day.
Fatima Bey (32:55):
You remember that yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that was
the early 2000s.
You kidding me that razor.
Guy Waltman (33:02):
That razor did the job okay, like it was really
cool too, like it was right.
Like my kids are gonna have adump phone and and.
But I'm telling you like, likeyou and me, you and me, we had
to pick up a landline and thenhave an uncomfortable
(33:25):
conversation, yeah with, withyour friend's parent.
Be like hi, uh, is brian home?
Can I talk?
Can brian come and play?
Like that.
But that puts some hair on yourchest, like that.
That is good for you instead ofhiding behind a keyboard.
Fatima Bey (33:43):
Right, I really like what you said about not the,
the don't compare, and I thinkthat's like the the biggest
thing that you just said.
I just a lot of times, and thisis not just our youth doing it
either.
There are some grown-assteenagers who are in their 30s,
40s and and 50s who we're doingit to.
And comparing ourselves tofakeness.
Guy Waltman (34:05):
And that's what we don't realize is okay.
Fatima Bey (34:07):
We see a tiny piece of what they want us to see
that's already been manipulated.
We don't see the full pictureand in fact you're probably
doing better than them.
But you're comparing yourselfagainst a falsity.
So I agree with thatwholeheartedly.
Stop comparing yourself againstfakeness.
You are real, your life is real.
(34:29):
What they show you ain't.
Guy Waltman (34:34):
As cliche as this is.
The only person you should becomparing yourself to is you
yesterday.
Fatima Bey (34:40):
Yes, yes, actually, that's on my wall.
There's a version.
Guy Waltman (34:42):
Yes, actually, that's on my wall.
Fatima Bey (34:43):
Yeah, there's a version of that quote that's on
my wall, so how can people findyou?
Guy Waltman (34:49):
Your best bet to find me would be through the
website or really just throughInstagram.
The website is is my namecom,so it's guy Waltmancom G U Y W a
L T M a?
Ncom, and then the Instagramhandle, guy underscore
WaltmancomG-U-Y-W-A-L-T-M-A-Ncom, and then
the Instagram handle, guyunderscore Waltman.
If you reach out through eitherone of those pathways, I'm
(35:10):
bound to see it and really justwould love to hear from you.
I am, I think, of a real likesweet spot age in which I can
connect with both young andolder audiences, right, it's.
It's.
It's tough when you're, whenyou're in your 20s, trying to
command respect from adults,right, and parents, but I now
have, I think, enough lifeexperience which I'm able to do
(35:32):
that, and I would say reallyhalf of the work that I do is
with young people.
Fatima Bey (35:39):
Do you speak at schools and?
Guy Waltman (35:41):
colleges All the time, school assemblies, and I
have about a dozen and maybejust shy of a dozen higher
education institutions in whichI'll do some guest lecturing.
I'd say a big bulk of what I dois just like the keynote for
corporate professionals, but Inever turn down a school
invitation.
(36:01):
But I never turned down aschool invitation.
I don't do enough of it simplydue to just the difficulty with
school budgets and things likethat, but I certainly have never
turned down a school assembly.
Fatima Bey (36:13):
All right.
Well, thanks again, Guy, forcoming on.
I really, really appreciate youbeing a guest here on MindShift
Power Podcast and I hope thatyou were able to plant some
really powerful thought seeds inthe minds of the listeners
today.
Guy Waltman (36:29):
I would like to thank you for having me on.
You and I have built somerapport just in the week in
which we've gotten in touch, butto trust me with your listeners
means a great deal, so thankyou so much.
Fatima Bey (36:44):
Thank you.
And now for a mind shiftingmoment, I want to focus for a
moment on something that wetalked about, a principle that
we talked about in this episode,and you've heard me say before
stop waiting for your feelingsto guide you and tell you what
to do.
Stop waiting for your feelingsto guide you and tell you what
to do.
Stop waiting for your feelingsto be where you think they
(37:07):
should be before you make themoves you need to make.
That's what people who neverget anywhere do.
It's all about a decision.
Your feelings matter, but yourfeelings will follow.
Your feelings are fragile.
Your feelings can change likethe wind, but if you make a
(37:27):
decision, that's when thingsbegin to change.
You decide to forgive, youdecide that I'm going to get
this done, whether I feel likeit or not, and that's how you
get it done.
And that's how you get it done.
What are you waiting for?
What area of life?
Are you waiting to feelsomething before you do it?
(37:49):
Now, specifically to ourAmerican audience, our culture
has taught us a lot of lies, andthis is one of them.
You do not have to havefeelings before you take action.
So I want you to go back andlisten to some of the principles
that guy talked about todaybehind making a move and then
(38:13):
getting motivated.
Many of you are successeswaiting to happen, but you're
sitting around and waiting for afeeling.
Get up and move and watch thefeelings follow.
Thank you for listening.
Be sure to follow or subscribeto MindShift Power podcast on
any of our worldwide platformsso you too can be a part of the
(38:36):
conversation that's changingyoung lives everywhere.
And always remember there'spower in shifting your thinking.
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