October 1, 2025 • 31 mins
The numbers are stark, but the story behind them is even more human. We sit down with emotional agility strategist Tricia E. Parido to unpack the layered reality of anorexia and body dysmorphia—how athletic pressure, family praise, and unhealed trauma can knit together into a coping system that looks like control but quietly erodes the body and brain. Trisha shares the moment she felt her cognition slipping and chose a different path: reframing food as fuel, rebuilding self-worth around values, and learning to mute the external noise that kept hijacking her inner voice.
Across this raw, thoughtful conversation, we explore why eating disorders rarely have a single cause and why recovery can’t be one-note either. Trisha walks through practical strategies—distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and boundary-setting with the mirror—that interrupt the loop of self-judgment and bring the nervous system back online. She challenges the myth that worth is tied to a size or silhouette and explains how choosing to live is not a feeling but a daily practice. The shift is profound: from controlling food to stewarding your mind; from seeking approval to honoring autonomy; from distorted reflections to values-driven reality.
We widen the lens to look at trauma’s many disguises—alcohol, overachievement, compulsive spending, chasing validation—and why ignoring pain only gives it the microphone. Trisha offers direct advice for young people standing where she once stood: turn down the outside commentary, fuel your brain so it can help you heal, and decide how you want to experience living. If you or someone you love is navigating the shadows of disordered eating, this episode offers grounded insight, compassionate tools, and a reminder that reclamation is possible without losing what you’ve built.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
FatimaBey (00:02):
MindShift PowerPoint.
This is Mind Shift PowerPodcast, the number one
critically acclaimed podcastwhere we have raw, unfiltered
conversations that shapetomorrow.
I'm your host, Fatima Bay, theMind Shifter.
And welcome everyone.
Today we have with us Trisha E.
(00:24):
Parrito.
She's an emotional agilitystrategist and she's out of the
U.S.
And I want to give you somefacts on why this topic is
important today and why I haveher here.
So approximately 28.8 millionAmericans, or 9% of the
population, will have an eatingdisorder in their lifetime.
(00:46):
Anorexia nervosa specificallyhas the highest mortality rate
of any psychiatric disorder.
This isn't a phase.
It's a life-threateningcondition.
It's a global issue alsobecause it transcends culture
and geography.
Studies show that rapidlyincreasing studies show rapidly
(01:09):
increasing rates for anorexia inAsia, especially in Japan, Hong
Kong, and Singapore, and in theMiddle East, the UAE, United Uh
Emirates, United Arab Emirates,and Iran.
And even in Latin America.
So the idea that this is aWestern disease is dangerous and
(01:32):
really outdated myth.
So I have our guest here today.
I have Trisha here today for aparticular reason.
How are you doing today,Trisha?
TriciaE.Parido (01:42):
I'm doing wonderful today.
Thanks so much for asking.
And I'm very I'm very honoredto be here.
I'm happy to have you on.
FatimaBey (01:52):
Let me ask you this.
How do you relate to thistopic?
Why did I have you on heretoday?
TriciaE.Parido (01:59):
Well, I actually, you know, have lived
with anorexia as well as bodydysmorphia and um other
food-related emotional disordersfor quite a long time.
(02:21):
It was a significant part of mylife from early adolescence
until about, well, I'm gonna saymy mid-20s, mid to late 20s.
And and quite honestly, it'ssomething that um, although not
(02:42):
active in my life, is stillsomething that you know is part
of my life, meaning I have, youknow, this continuous need to be
aware and in touch with how Iwas able to remove, overcome,
and come to terms with um thethings that uh, you know, really
(03:08):
just fueled the relationshipwith anorexia to begin with.
FatimaBey (03:15):
Let me ask you this.
I like to dive right into thetopic.
So you talk about quote unquotereclaiming who you are without
losing what you've built.
How did you how did you beginto uh to build a new foundation
of self-worth that had nothingto do with your body or what you
(03:37):
ate?
TriciaE.Parido (03:39):
So I think before we dive into the re the
reclaiming, we want to look atthe multi levels that that
actually go into it.
Um and that, you know, for meuh as a as a young athlete, I
was a child athlete, um, stayinglean, low body fat, um,
(04:00):
physically fit, what you knowwas super important, but also as
a swimmer, right?
Like you're walking around on abathing suit and and so right,
like people are looking at yourphysical body.
FatimaBey (04:12):
Right.
TriciaE.Parido (04:13):
And so, you know, it was it was something
that was important, but also,you know, family input and um,
you know, hearing stories ofother people in the family who
who were super petite and hadtiny little 19-inches inch
waists, and you know, how thatwas was viewed as something as
(04:36):
being beautiful, that played apart.
And then, you know, there wereother things that happened
along, you know, in my life thatadded other complexities to it.
Um, and you know, if I'm beingreal raw and honest, you know,
there was um I I endurednumerous sexual assaults um in
(04:59):
in my childhood and adolescence,and even early in my young
adulthood that that played apart.
And so, you know, I really justdeveloped this this
relationship where it was, youknow, from an athlete
standpoint, it was alwaysamazing to people that I could
(05:19):
put away so many pancakes yetstay super thin.
Um, although what they didn'tsee was, you know, how I
restricted when I was away froma social space to make up that
difference.
And, you know, um then therewas, I would be unlovable if I
didn't stay the same size andshape as I was there.
(05:42):
So as I was growing and, youknow, my body was changing, I
felt as though I needed to stayin some space where somebody
told me I was beautiful.
And then, you know, there wereall of the the adorations for
being so skinny and so thin andperfect and all of those things
(06:03):
all played a part.
And it was all outside noise.
It was all other people's viewsand opinions, it was all other
people's things.
And and and I, you know, justreally developed, you know, kind
of a weird relationship withhow I saw food.
So things, you know, differentthings visually um would gross
(06:27):
me out, um, you know, whether itwas a vein in the chicken or,
you know, whatever.
And and so, you know, like thewhole thing was very it was
almost incognito, um, if youwill.
And except for, you know, atone point, which was my low
(06:48):
point, which ended up needing tobe, of course, my turning point
when I hit like a really lowbody weight and um I was
restricting at a really highlevel and um, you know, eating
very little, if anything, atall.
So what I ended up doing formyself was taking a look at, you
(07:12):
know, how much did I valueliving?
Because I could feel, I couldfeel my my physical being
deteriorating.
I could feel my brain notfunctioning as well as it could,
and that and that I knew itcould as a highly intellectual
(07:35):
person.
And you know, so I startedlooking at how did I want how
did I want to to actually feelliving.
And then I started looking atthe things I valued.
I valued being strong and and II I wasn't I wasn't strong
(07:56):
anymore.
I valued being fit, I wasn'tfit.
I valued being confident and Iwasn't confident.
So I I looked at what I neededto do to make that happen.
And the first thing was obviousto me at in that time and
space, that I needed, you know,to to give my body the fuel it
(08:18):
needed to function properly.
Um starting with, you know, mybrain and and having the ability
um to function there.
And and then I went into, youknow, the emotional aspects.
Um, you know, emotionally, Ididn't want, you know, to feel I
(08:44):
didn't want to feel a lot ofthings.
I I I didn't want to feelashamed and I didn't want to
feel like I had to hide.
I I didn't want to feel like Iwasn't, you know, living up to
my full potential.
I wanted, you know, I wanted tofeel okay being me.
And so I started looking at,well, okay, what does that, what
(09:07):
does being mean?
And, you know, what did Ivalue?
And what, you know, my mybeliefs between right and wrong.
And um, I just really startedhonoring myself and and focusing
on what was important to me.
So again, you know, I keepleaning into this, but you know,
(09:29):
that intellectual space, thatcognitive ability, I think
really is something that peopledon't associate when it when it
comes to an eating disorder.
And they don't think about whenemotionally they're feeling
anxious or depressed.
They don't think like, oh,wait, my brain isn't functioning
(09:49):
properly.
And how am I fueling it?
And and what am I feeding itfrom external noise like social
media and the things that, youknow, cause and and when I was a
kid, there was no social media,but you know, that's more of a
today uh, you know, realrelation.
But, you know, so I leaned intothat and then I decided, you
know what, huh?
(10:10):
What's what's causing theseissues?
And I realized how much of itwas noise from other people, but
also that I was relying on myrelationship with food, my
control over it, and and myability to go long times without
it, um, as a coping mechanism.
(10:32):
So then I was able to look atthat like, hey, this is no
different than you know myrelationship with alcohol, which
is a whole different story,right?
Um and and it's something thatI'm I'm using to cope and deal
with something that I can I canlook at from a cognitive
emotional level and reallyprocess through.
(10:55):
So I developed some distresstolerance and some emotion
regulation, and um, I did it,you know, in a lot of different
layers, but it it's it was areally long journey.
And then I started working onmy visual, right?
Like what I saw on the plateand what I saw in the mirror
(11:19):
after eating, which you know canbe a pretty long journey.
FatimaBey (11:25):
Something I want to point out or extract from a lot
of what you you just said a lotright now.
And I want to point somethingout to the audience that you and
I know very clearly, butsometimes people tend to think
of you know issues like this as,oh, well, there's one reason
why it happens, and we just needto attack that one reason.
(11:47):
And you just clearlydemonstrated it was a
multiplicity of reasons orfactors, I would say, because
there's really one main reason,but factors that led to that
being what you went to.
You know, to autopsia beingwhat you went to to try to
control.
And I just want to point thatout because you just mentioned
(12:10):
like that it was there is youknow negative reinforcement by
so overly emphasizing someoneelse's positive reinforcement.
So you had reinforcement fromthe family, you had you know
relating it to sports was onething.
You just named several reasons,and it was not just one.
So to the audience listening, Iwant you to remember this when
(12:33):
pe when you see people haveissues, and the issue we're
talking about is anorexia today,and body dysmorphia, which does
come in many forms, anorexia isjust one of them.
Um always keep in mind it'snever ever ever ever never never
never never ever just onereason or one reason only, or
just one thing changes andeverything changes, that is
(12:57):
never true, correct?
TriciaE.Parido (13:00):
I in my experience and and the many
years that I've been um on thejourney, whether it's personal
or professional, is absolutelyit's not connected to just one
thing.
Um that would that would bewonderful if we could say that
it was.
Um, but no, um and anddepending upon, you know, it's
(13:24):
one of the one of the reasons,you know, I I I unfolded my
program to begin with was Ifound I found some things, some
standardized things to be quitesingularly focused, if you will.
And and I think it's importantto allow all the layers to
(13:48):
breathe.
That is a good way to word it.
FatimaBey (13:50):
Yeah, you're right.
So speaking of of the thingsthat you had to dismantle in
your mind, uh what's the singlemost important belief that you
had to dismantle or take apartor undo the the core lie, if you
will, of this disorder?
What new belief did you installin its place?
TriciaE.Parido (14:13):
Well, I'm gonna go with, and it's kind of a
broad answer, again, becauseit's very complex.
But if I was to lean into theone thing that I decided was
that I'm I'm good just the way Iam.
And and in that right, I got todecide that, you know, this is
(14:42):
my life too.
It gets to look, feel, behowever I want it to.
I get to choose.
And and so the the the onething I had to let go to back up
to your in the first part ofyour question, since I kind of
skipped over it there, and itwas the external noise that I
(15:02):
had to tune out.
Um I I no longer needed to liveup to the expectations that I
perceived others had for me.
And the reason I say that I Iperceived others had for me is
because I was also debunkedquite a few times by people on
(15:26):
my journey when I'd have theconversation and say, you know,
like I felt like I wasn'tmeasuring up to your needs from
me, right?
Yeah.
And and I had misconstrued whatthat person, you know, um was
saying or needing from me, orthought about me, or believed
(15:50):
about me.
I had put my own spin on it.
And um, that's all part of thatdisease, disorder, whatever you
want to, whatever you want torefer to it as.
Um I'm not a big label person.
So either, I get you.
Um, you know, so it's it's moreabout realizing that,
(16:12):
especially in today's day, guys,you know, like if I was to say,
you know, when you're reading atext message or you're reading,
you know, a social post or acomment on social media, you're
you're assigning the the toneand inflection or you know, the
(16:32):
demeanor of the words.
You're choosing right howyou're going to internalize that
or perceive it or quote unquotehear it.
And and sometimes if it'snegative, you're better served
to ask, you know, forclarification.
FatimaBey (16:50):
Yeah.
TriciaE.Parido (16:50):
Could be, did you mean for that to be so
hurtful?
Could be, you know, wow.
Um, can you can you help meunderstand, you know,
emotionally where you're at withthat statement?
Something.
Anyway, you know, I had tolearn how to identify when it
(17:13):
was my dialogue being assignedto somebody else.
FatimaBey (17:18):
You know, you bring up a really, really important
point, and that goes way beyondbody dysmorphia.
It it hits at a root issue withwhat we believe about
ourselves.
And I I too, I've never gonethrough, you know, anorexia, but
I understand what what you meanby assigning what people say to
(17:40):
mean something else.
And, you know, oh well, theydidn't respond to my text.
They hate me.
They everybody hates me.
You know, there's there'speople who who really have that
sort of response to basicthings.
And I love what you just said.
The key word you said in thatwas conversation.
And this is why we need to haveconversations, because they can
(18:02):
be debunked.
And, you know, if you thinkwe're not worth, if we believe
we're not worth anything, thenwe assume that everybody else is
responding to that lack ofself-worth.
Um, you know, we don't, we'renot even aware that we're doing
it most of the time, right?
TriciaE.Parido (18:17):
Absolutely.
Um, and and you know, to toyour point that we're not aware
we're doing it, you know, whenwe're talking about body
dysmorphia, you know, that'sthat's a you know, a really big,
a big issue, and and a lotplays in part, uh, you know, it
highlights for us the tricksthat our our brains can play on
(18:42):
us because you know it's it'smore that translation between
our eyes and our brain thatdistorts the reflection.
And and so the you know, thethe brain is is you know
creating um that dialogue, ifyou will, of what of what that
(19:03):
reflection is and looks like.
And I'm not trying to, youknow, oversimplify a really big
issue because I mean it's it'sone thing that you know you know
I have to be aware of.
And and so I had to change myrelationship with the mirror.
Um, I don't spend very muchtime in front of it.
Um and you know, I I I havevery specific things, right?
(19:31):
Like I don't turn sidewaysbecause if I turned sideways, I
know I'm gonna focus on X, Y, orZ, you know, my my lower
abdomen and or, you know,whatever it is.
And so I have I have littleways that I've you know
conditioned my relationship withthe mirror.
Um I don't get real close, Idon't spend a lot of time there.
(19:54):
You know, I put my makeup onand and get out.
I don't, I don't use one ofthose close-up mirrors, you
know, just different things.
So when when we're looking at,you know, how we see ourselves,
we want to do what we need to doto feel good about ourselves.
So we have to learn how to, Idon't know, not um be married to
(20:19):
the sizes um that somebody elsehas created, right?
Like some designer somewheredecided what a you know a double
zero was.
And and some some, I don'tknow, I'm just gonna say this,
right?
Like some man somewhere decidedwhat was, you know, what was
(20:41):
curvy and what was what waswasty.
I don't know, right?
Like we don't have to buy intosomebody else's definition of
anything.
Nope.
And and so long as we'rehealthy and and you know doing
things in a in a good way forourselves cognitively,
(21:03):
emotionally, physically, thenwe're good.
FatimaBey (21:08):
So when so much of your view of yourself was
wrapped up in this disorder atthe time, and you were able to
transition out of it.
But was there a fear of theunknown, a fear of what's next
if you let this go?
TriciaE.Parido (21:25):
So much fear.
So much fear.
And I had to, I had to reallywork on if you if you you know
rewind, go back, right?
Like I had to decide how much Iloved living, right?
So that fear was I know, Idon't know what to expect when I
(21:49):
let go of this.
What I do know, what I had todecide, and this is important
that you guys hear this, is thatI knew that it was gonna be big
and scary to let go of mycontrol needs around food.
(22:11):
And because what that controlneed around food meant is that I
wanted to control things thatwere unnatural, right?
Like it was unnatural for me towant to control my body to
remain a size that perhaps, as Igrew out of adolescence into
young adulthood, needed tochange.
(22:34):
And I and I needed to controlnot moving into some adult body
figure, and I needed to controlwhat other people saw me as.
And so when I realized thatthose control needs, if I let
(22:56):
those go, all I had to do wascontrol how I saw myself, how I
thought about myself, how I feltabout myself, and emotionally
could care for myself, itallowed me to say I can face
this big scary thing because Iknow that I'm gonna get to live
(23:18):
longer if I stay in this stateof control need, but using that
coping mechanism of an eatingdisorder, I already know because
I could feel it, right?
Like I could feel my physicalbody deteriorating.
I knew that things weren'tfunctioning right.
(23:38):
I wasn't well physically, Iwasn't well emotionally, and I
wasn't well intellectually,cognitively in my brain.
So I knew I had two choices,and it was really deteriorate a
long, slow, hard right directiontowards my my demise, or go
(24:06):
forward and live and figure outa healthy relationship, a new
way of experiencing food.
So I I began looking at food asfuel because that's all it is.
It's fuel for your organs, it'sfuel for your blood, it's fuel
for your brain, it's fuel forright, whatever.
(24:30):
So, and you know, a lot of thework that we do is we take a
look at that because you don'tyou wouldn't put sugar in your
gas tank, you're not gonna putpaint in your windshield wipers,
you're not gonna, you know, putbacon fat in your coolant
system of your car, not if youwant it to keep running.
FatimaBey (24:48):
Right.
TriciaE.Parido (24:49):
So, you know, I really just started looking at
what I put in and and becomingvery um, very interested in the
things that went in that allowedme to perform at my highest
level.
And I became just in love withthat process.
And I became in love with theprocess of figuring out my
(25:12):
physical body, or what I referto as loving my physical body.
FatimaBey (25:17):
What I'm hearing from what I'm extracting from what
you just said is you made achoice.
It wasn't about a feeling, itwas about a choice.
You made a choice to choose tochange your perspective.
And it was a conscious choice,it was effort, it took
discipline to do that as well.
But it was it started with achoice, and then you trained
(25:39):
yourself to think differently.
Am I accurate in saying that?
TriciaE.Parido (25:44):
100%.
And I I love that you broughtthat out because I think
something that people don'trealize is we choose how we
experience living.
FatimaBey (25:55):
Yes, we do.
We absolutely do.
And I'm really glad that youmade the choice to come out of
it and that you're not justanother sad news story that we
hear about on the news later.
You know, you you chose to comeout of it and now you are a com
well, I didn't know you backthen, but I'm assuming a
completely different person.
(26:15):
Um you're one that helps peoplenow, and you've made it your
career to help other people.
And I think that that'sadmirable, and we need more
people like you that do that.
Um who can who can also behonest and you know, it's not um
I don't think stuff like thisis easy to talk about when
you've been through it.
I think it's easy to be thereceiver of the conversation or
(26:38):
be a part of the conversation,but I don't think it's easy to
talk about when it's been yourlived experience.
So and I know this is not yourfirst time talking about it, but
I still know that it's justwhen it's your experience, it's
not easy.
So I thank you for for givingus the chance to listen to your
perspective and your experience,and I hope that this message
(26:59):
really I hope that this thisepisode really gets out there
and reaches the young Trishatoday, the one who is where you
were.
So uh with that I want to askyou this one last question.
What advice do you have for theyouth today who are where you
(27:21):
were?
TriciaE.Parido (27:26):
I say focus on yourself, right?
And and or live for yourselffirst and do so without feeling
guilty, selfish, punished, orrestricted.
And and and what I mean by thatis turn off all the noise, turn
(27:48):
off all the external noise, andask yourself, how do I want to
experience living and focus onthat?
How do I want to see myselfliving and focus on that?
FatimaBey (28:03):
Yes, I couldn't agree more.
Um so Trisha, thank you so muchfor coming on today and for
having this really good rawconversation.
And um, before we go, tellpeople where they can find you.
TriciaE.Parido (28:19):
Well, I'm pretty easy to find.
Um, I have two websites.
The first one isturningleavesrecovery.com.
That's L-E-A-V-E-S.
And the other one isTrishaParado.com.
FatimaBey (28:33):
And they'll both be in the in the show notes.
TriciaE.Parido (28:36):
Yeah, super easy.
You can click and grab time onmy calendar.
Super simple.
FatimaBey (28:42):
And one thing I like about Trisha, which is one of
the reasons she's on the show,is she's really honest.
So when you have when you havea conversation with her, you're
not gonna get it fit a bunch ofpolitically correct BS.
You're just gonna have a realhonest conversation.
Um, and I like that.
So once again, thank you,Trisha, for coming on.
Thank you.
And now for a mind-shiftingmoment.
(29:10):
I want to point out somethingthat Trisha touched on in
today's episode.
In talking about how she endedup with anorexia, she also
talked about the multiple layersof trauma that were piled on
top of, or I should sayunderneath that.
When we have undealt withtrauma, it always manifests
(29:34):
itself 100% of the time.
Some of those ways arealcoholism, drug addiction,
overachieving, going to extremeswith money, chasing sex,
chasing being overly educated,there are chasing food,
overeating, there are so cuttingyourself, there are so many.
(29:59):
Ways that undealt with traumamanifests itself with all of us.
It does not look the same, butmuch of it comes from the same
roots.
My question to you is do youhave undealt with trauma?
And I want you to examineyourself before you answer.
(30:22):
How is that manifesting in yourlife?
How is it already dealing withyou?
Cause see, anytime we havetrauma that we don't deal with,
I promise you, it is alreadydealing with you.
I want you to think about that.
(30:42):
You've been listening to MindShift Power Podcast for complete
show notes on this episode, andto join our global movement,
find us at fatimabay.com.
Until next time, alwaysremember there's power in
shifting your thinking.
MindShift PowerPoint.
This is Mind Shift PowerPodcast, the number one
critically acclaimed podcastwhere we have raw, unfiltered
conversations that shapetomorrow.
I'm your host, Fatima Bay, theMind Shifter.
And welcome everyone.
Today we have with us Trisha E.
(00:24):
Parrito.
She's an emotional agilitystrategist and she's out of the
U.S.
And I want to give you somefacts on why this topic is
important today and why I haveher here.
So approximately 28.8 millionAmericans, or 9% of the
population, will have an eatingdisorder in their lifetime.
(00:46):
Anorexia nervosa specificallyhas the highest mortality rate
of any psychiatric disorder.
This isn't a phase.
It's a life-threateningcondition.
It's a global issue alsobecause it transcends culture
and geography.
Studies show that rapidlyincreasing studies show rapidly
(01:09):
increasing rates for anorexia inAsia, especially in Japan, Hong
Kong, and Singapore, and in theMiddle East, the UAE, United Uh
Emirates, United Arab Emirates,and Iran.
And even in Latin America.
So the idea that this is aWestern disease is dangerous and
(01:32):
really outdated myth.
So I have our guest here today.
I have Trisha here today for aparticular reason.
How are you doing today,Trisha?
TriciaE.Parido (01:42):
I'm doing wonderful today.
Thanks so much for asking.
And I'm very I'm very honoredto be here.
I'm happy to have you on.
FatimaBey (01:52):
Let me ask you this.
How do you relate to thistopic?
Why did I have you on heretoday?
TriciaE.Parido (01:59):
Well, I actually, you know, have lived
with anorexia as well as bodydysmorphia and um other
food-related emotional disordersfor quite a long time.
(02:21):
It was a significant part of mylife from early adolescence
until about, well, I'm gonna saymy mid-20s, mid to late 20s.
And and quite honestly, it'ssomething that um, although not
(02:42):
active in my life, is stillsomething that you know is part
of my life, meaning I have, youknow, this continuous need to be
aware and in touch with how Iwas able to remove, overcome,
and come to terms with um thethings that uh, you know, really
(03:08):
just fueled the relationshipwith anorexia to begin with.
FatimaBey (03:15):
Let me ask you this.
I like to dive right into thetopic.
So you talk about quote unquotereclaiming who you are without
losing what you've built.
How did you how did you beginto uh to build a new foundation
of self-worth that had nothingto do with your body or what you
(03:37):
ate?
TriciaE.Parido (03:39):
So I think before we dive into the re the
reclaiming, we want to look atthe multi levels that that
actually go into it.
Um and that, you know, for meuh as a as a young athlete, I
was a child athlete, um, stayinglean, low body fat, um,
(04:00):
physically fit, what you knowwas super important, but also as
a swimmer, right?
Like you're walking around on abathing suit and and so right,
like people are looking at yourphysical body.
FatimaBey (04:12):
Right.
TriciaE.Parido (04:13):
And so, you know, it was it was something
that was important, but also,you know, family input and um,
you know, hearing stories ofother people in the family who
who were super petite and hadtiny little 19-inches inch
waists, and you know, how thatwas was viewed as something as
(04:36):
being beautiful, that played apart.
And then, you know, there wereother things that happened
along, you know, in my life thatadded other complexities to it.
Um, and you know, if I'm beingreal raw and honest, you know,
there was um I I endurednumerous sexual assaults um in
(04:59):
in my childhood and adolescence,and even early in my young
adulthood that that played apart.
And so, you know, I really justdeveloped this this
relationship where it was, youknow, from an athlete
standpoint, it was alwaysamazing to people that I could
(05:19):
put away so many pancakes yetstay super thin.
Um, although what they didn'tsee was, you know, how I
restricted when I was away froma social space to make up that
difference.
And, you know, um then therewas, I would be unlovable if I
didn't stay the same size andshape as I was there.
(05:42):
So as I was growing and, youknow, my body was changing, I
felt as though I needed to stayin some space where somebody
told me I was beautiful.
And then, you know, there wereall of the the adorations for
being so skinny and so thin andperfect and all of those things
(06:03):
all played a part.
And it was all outside noise.
It was all other people's viewsand opinions, it was all other
people's things.
And and and I, you know, justreally developed, you know, kind
of a weird relationship withhow I saw food.
So things, you know, differentthings visually um would gross
(06:27):
me out, um, you know, whether itwas a vein in the chicken or,
you know, whatever.
And and so, you know, like thewhole thing was very it was
almost incognito, um, if youwill.
And except for, you know, atone point, which was my low
(06:48):
point, which ended up needing tobe, of course, my turning point
when I hit like a really lowbody weight and um I was
restricting at a really highlevel and um, you know, eating
very little, if anything, atall.
So what I ended up doing formyself was taking a look at, you
(07:12):
know, how much did I valueliving?
Because I could feel, I couldfeel my my physical being
deteriorating.
I could feel my brain notfunctioning as well as it could,
and that and that I knew itcould as a highly intellectual
(07:35):
person.
And you know, so I startedlooking at how did I want how
did I want to to actually feelliving.
And then I started looking atthe things I valued.
I valued being strong and and II I wasn't I wasn't strong
(07:56):
anymore.
I valued being fit, I wasn'tfit.
I valued being confident and Iwasn't confident.
So I I looked at what I neededto do to make that happen.
And the first thing was obviousto me at in that time and
space, that I needed, you know,to to give my body the fuel it
(08:18):
needed to function properly.
Um starting with, you know, mybrain and and having the ability
um to function there.
And and then I went into, youknow, the emotional aspects.
Um, you know, emotionally, Ididn't want, you know, to feel I
(08:44):
didn't want to feel a lot ofthings.
I I I didn't want to feelashamed and I didn't want to
feel like I had to hide.
I I didn't want to feel like Iwasn't, you know, living up to
my full potential.
I wanted, you know, I wanted tofeel okay being me.
And so I started looking at,well, okay, what does that, what
(09:07):
does being mean?
And, you know, what did Ivalue?
And what, you know, my mybeliefs between right and wrong.
And um, I just really startedhonoring myself and and focusing
on what was important to me.
So again, you know, I keepleaning into this, but you know,
(09:29):
that intellectual space, thatcognitive ability, I think
really is something that peopledon't associate when it when it
comes to an eating disorder.
And they don't think about whenemotionally they're feeling
anxious or depressed.
They don't think like, oh,wait, my brain isn't functioning
(09:49):
properly.
And how am I fueling it?
And and what am I feeding itfrom external noise like social
media and the things that, youknow, cause and and when I was a
kid, there was no social media,but you know, that's more of a
today uh, you know, realrelation.
But, you know, so I leaned intothat and then I decided, you
know what, huh?
(10:10):
What's what's causing theseissues?
And I realized how much of itwas noise from other people, but
also that I was relying on myrelationship with food, my
control over it, and and myability to go long times without
it, um, as a coping mechanism.
(10:32):
So then I was able to look atthat like, hey, this is no
different than you know myrelationship with alcohol, which
is a whole different story,right?
Um and and it's something thatI'm I'm using to cope and deal
with something that I can I canlook at from a cognitive
emotional level and reallyprocess through.
(10:55):
So I developed some distresstolerance and some emotion
regulation, and um, I did it,you know, in a lot of different
layers, but it it's it was areally long journey.
And then I started working onmy visual, right?
Like what I saw on the plateand what I saw in the mirror
(11:19):
after eating, which you know canbe a pretty long journey.
FatimaBey (11:25):
Something I want to point out or extract from a lot
of what you you just said a lotright now.
And I want to point somethingout to the audience that you and
I know very clearly, butsometimes people tend to think
of you know issues like this as,oh, well, there's one reason
why it happens, and we just needto attack that one reason.
(11:47):
And you just clearlydemonstrated it was a
multiplicity of reasons orfactors, I would say, because
there's really one main reason,but factors that led to that
being what you went to.
You know, to autopsia beingwhat you went to to try to
control.
And I just want to point thatout because you just mentioned
(12:10):
like that it was there is youknow negative reinforcement by
so overly emphasizing someoneelse's positive reinforcement.
So you had reinforcement fromthe family, you had you know
relating it to sports was onething.
You just named several reasons,and it was not just one.
So to the audience listening, Iwant you to remember this when
(12:33):
pe when you see people haveissues, and the issue we're
talking about is anorexia today,and body dysmorphia, which does
come in many forms, anorexia isjust one of them.
Um always keep in mind it'snever ever ever ever never never
never never ever just onereason or one reason only, or
just one thing changes andeverything changes, that is
(12:57):
never true, correct?
TriciaE.Parido (13:00):
I in my experience and and the many
years that I've been um on thejourney, whether it's personal
or professional, is absolutelyit's not connected to just one
thing.
Um that would that would bewonderful if we could say that
it was.
Um, but no, um and anddepending upon, you know, it's
(13:24):
one of the one of the reasons,you know, I I I unfolded my
program to begin with was Ifound I found some things, some
standardized things to be quitesingularly focused, if you will.
And and I think it's importantto allow all the layers to
(13:48):
breathe.
That is a good way to word it.
FatimaBey (13:50):
Yeah, you're right.
So speaking of of the thingsthat you had to dismantle in
your mind, uh what's the singlemost important belief that you
had to dismantle or take apartor undo the the core lie, if you
will, of this disorder?
What new belief did you installin its place?
TriciaE.Parido (14:13):
Well, I'm gonna go with, and it's kind of a
broad answer, again, becauseit's very complex.
But if I was to lean into theone thing that I decided was
that I'm I'm good just the way Iam.
And and in that right, I got todecide that, you know, this is
(14:42):
my life too.
It gets to look, feel, behowever I want it to.
I get to choose.
And and so the the the onething I had to let go to back up
to your in the first part ofyour question, since I kind of
skipped over it there, and itwas the external noise that I
(15:02):
had to tune out.
Um I I no longer needed to liveup to the expectations that I
perceived others had for me.
And the reason I say that I Iperceived others had for me is
because I was also debunkedquite a few times by people on
(15:26):
my journey when I'd have theconversation and say, you know,
like I felt like I wasn'tmeasuring up to your needs from
me, right?
Yeah.
And and I had misconstrued whatthat person, you know, um was
saying or needing from me, orthought about me, or believed
(15:50):
about me.
I had put my own spin on it.
And um, that's all part of thatdisease, disorder, whatever you
want to, whatever you want torefer to it as.
Um I'm not a big label person.
So either, I get you.
Um, you know, so it's it's moreabout realizing that,
(16:12):
especially in today's day, guys,you know, like if I was to say,
you know, when you're reading atext message or you're reading,
you know, a social post or acomment on social media, you're
you're assigning the the toneand inflection or you know, the
(16:32):
demeanor of the words.
You're choosing right howyou're going to internalize that
or perceive it or quote unquotehear it.
And and sometimes if it'snegative, you're better served
to ask, you know, forclarification.
FatimaBey (16:50):
Yeah.
TriciaE.Parido (16:50):
Could be, did you mean for that to be so
hurtful?
Could be, you know, wow.
Um, can you can you help meunderstand, you know,
emotionally where you're at withthat statement?
Something.
Anyway, you know, I had tolearn how to identify when it
(17:13):
was my dialogue being assignedto somebody else.
FatimaBey (17:18):
You know, you bring up a really, really important
point, and that goes way beyondbody dysmorphia.
It it hits at a root issue withwhat we believe about
ourselves.
And I I too, I've never gonethrough, you know, anorexia, but
I understand what what you meanby assigning what people say to
(17:40):
mean something else.
And, you know, oh well, theydidn't respond to my text.
They hate me.
They everybody hates me.
You know, there's there'speople who who really have that
sort of response to basicthings.
And I love what you just said.
The key word you said in thatwas conversation.
And this is why we need to haveconversations, because they can
(18:02):
be debunked.
And, you know, if you thinkwe're not worth, if we believe
we're not worth anything, thenwe assume that everybody else is
responding to that lack ofself-worth.
Um, you know, we don't, we'renot even aware that we're doing
it most of the time, right?
TriciaE.Parido (18:17):
Absolutely.
Um, and and you know, to toyour point that we're not aware
we're doing it, you know, whenwe're talking about body
dysmorphia, you know, that'sthat's a you know, a really big,
a big issue, and and a lotplays in part, uh, you know, it
highlights for us the tricksthat our our brains can play on
(18:42):
us because you know it's it'smore that translation between
our eyes and our brain thatdistorts the reflection.
And and so the you know, thethe brain is is you know
creating um that dialogue, ifyou will, of what of what that
(19:03):
reflection is and looks like.
And I'm not trying to, youknow, oversimplify a really big
issue because I mean it's it'sone thing that you know you know
I have to be aware of.
And and so I had to change myrelationship with the mirror.
Um, I don't spend very muchtime in front of it.
Um and you know, I I I havevery specific things, right?
(19:31):
Like I don't turn sidewaysbecause if I turned sideways, I
know I'm gonna focus on X, Y, orZ, you know, my my lower
abdomen and or, you know,whatever it is.
And so I have I have littleways that I've you know
conditioned my relationship withthe mirror.
Um I don't get real close, Idon't spend a lot of time there.
(19:54):
You know, I put my makeup onand and get out.
I don't, I don't use one ofthose close-up mirrors, you
know, just different things.
So when when we're looking at,you know, how we see ourselves,
we want to do what we need to doto feel good about ourselves.
So we have to learn how to, Idon't know, not um be married to
(20:19):
the sizes um that somebody elsehas created, right?
Like some designer somewheredecided what a you know a double
zero was.
And and some some, I don'tknow, I'm just gonna say this,
right?
Like some man somewhere decidedwhat was, you know, what was
(20:41):
curvy and what was what waswasty.
I don't know, right?
Like we don't have to buy intosomebody else's definition of
anything.
Nope.
And and so long as we'rehealthy and and you know doing
things in a in a good way forourselves cognitively,
(21:03):
emotionally, physically, thenwe're good.
FatimaBey (21:08):
So when so much of your view of yourself was
wrapped up in this disorder atthe time, and you were able to
transition out of it.
But was there a fear of theunknown, a fear of what's next
if you let this go?
TriciaE.Parido (21:25):
So much fear.
So much fear.
And I had to, I had to reallywork on if you if you you know
rewind, go back, right?
Like I had to decide how much Iloved living, right?
So that fear was I know, Idon't know what to expect when I
(21:49):
let go of this.
What I do know, what I had todecide, and this is important
that you guys hear this, is thatI knew that it was gonna be big
and scary to let go of mycontrol needs around food.
(22:11):
And because what that controlneed around food meant is that I
wanted to control things thatwere unnatural, right?
Like it was unnatural for me towant to control my body to
remain a size that perhaps, as Igrew out of adolescence into
young adulthood, needed tochange.
(22:34):
And I and I needed to controlnot moving into some adult body
figure, and I needed to controlwhat other people saw me as.
And so when I realized thatthose control needs, if I let
(22:56):
those go, all I had to do wascontrol how I saw myself, how I
thought about myself, how I feltabout myself, and emotionally
could care for myself, itallowed me to say I can face
this big scary thing because Iknow that I'm gonna get to live
(23:18):
longer if I stay in this stateof control need, but using that
coping mechanism of an eatingdisorder, I already know because
I could feel it, right?
Like I could feel my physicalbody deteriorating.
I knew that things weren'tfunctioning right.
(23:38):
I wasn't well physically, Iwasn't well emotionally, and I
wasn't well intellectually,cognitively in my brain.
So I knew I had two choices,and it was really deteriorate a
long, slow, hard right directiontowards my my demise, or go
(24:06):
forward and live and figure outa healthy relationship, a new
way of experiencing food.
So I I began looking at food asfuel because that's all it is.
It's fuel for your organs, it'sfuel for your blood, it's fuel
for your brain, it's fuel forright, whatever.
(24:30):
So, and you know, a lot of thework that we do is we take a
look at that because you don'tyou wouldn't put sugar in your
gas tank, you're not gonna putpaint in your windshield wipers,
you're not gonna, you know, putbacon fat in your coolant
system of your car, not if youwant it to keep running.
FatimaBey (24:48):
Right.
TriciaE.Parido (24:49):
So, you know, I really just started looking at
what I put in and and becomingvery um, very interested in the
things that went in that allowedme to perform at my highest
level.
And I became just in love withthat process.
And I became in love with theprocess of figuring out my
(25:12):
physical body, or what I referto as loving my physical body.
FatimaBey (25:17):
What I'm hearing from what I'm extracting from what
you just said is you made achoice.
It wasn't about a feeling, itwas about a choice.
You made a choice to choose tochange your perspective.
And it was a conscious choice,it was effort, it took
discipline to do that as well.
But it was it started with achoice, and then you trained
(25:39):
yourself to think differently.
Am I accurate in saying that?
TriciaE.Parido (25:44):
100%.
And I I love that you broughtthat out because I think
something that people don'trealize is we choose how we
experience living.
FatimaBey (25:55):
Yes, we do.
We absolutely do.
And I'm really glad that youmade the choice to come out of
it and that you're not justanother sad news story that we
hear about on the news later.
You know, you you chose to comeout of it and now you are a com
well, I didn't know you backthen, but I'm assuming a
completely different person.
(26:15):
Um you're one that helps peoplenow, and you've made it your
career to help other people.
And I think that that'sadmirable, and we need more
people like you that do that.
Um who can who can also behonest and you know, it's not um
I don't think stuff like thisis easy to talk about when
you've been through it.
I think it's easy to be thereceiver of the conversation or
(26:38):
be a part of the conversation,but I don't think it's easy to
talk about when it's been yourlived experience.
So and I know this is not yourfirst time talking about it, but
I still know that it's justwhen it's your experience, it's
not easy.
So I thank you for for givingus the chance to listen to your
perspective and your experience,and I hope that this message
(26:59):
really I hope that this thisepisode really gets out there
and reaches the young Trishatoday, the one who is where you
were.
So uh with that I want to askyou this one last question.
What advice do you have for theyouth today who are where you
(27:21):
were?
TriciaE.Parido (27:26):
I say focus on yourself, right?
And and or live for yourselffirst and do so without feeling
guilty, selfish, punished, orrestricted.
And and and what I mean by thatis turn off all the noise, turn
(27:48):
off all the external noise, andask yourself, how do I want to
experience living and focus onthat?
How do I want to see myselfliving and focus on that?
FatimaBey (28:03):
Yes, I couldn't agree more.
Um so Trisha, thank you so muchfor coming on today and for
having this really good rawconversation.
And um, before we go, tellpeople where they can find you.
TriciaE.Parido (28:19):
Well, I'm pretty easy to find.
Um, I have two websites.
The first one isturningleavesrecovery.com.
That's L-E-A-V-E-S.
And the other one isTrishaParado.com.
FatimaBey (28:33):
And they'll both be in the in the show notes.
TriciaE.Parido (28:36):
Yeah, super easy.
You can click and grab time onmy calendar.
Super simple.
FatimaBey (28:42):
And one thing I like about Trisha, which is one of
the reasons she's on the show,is she's really honest.
So when you have when you havea conversation with her, you're
not gonna get it fit a bunch ofpolitically correct BS.
You're just gonna have a realhonest conversation.
Um, and I like that.
So once again, thank you,Trisha, for coming on.
Thank you.
And now for a mind-shiftingmoment.
(29:10):
I want to point out somethingthat Trisha touched on in
today's episode.
In talking about how she endedup with anorexia, she also
talked about the multiple layersof trauma that were piled on
top of, or I should sayunderneath that.
When we have undealt withtrauma, it always manifests
(29:34):
itself 100% of the time.
Some of those ways arealcoholism, drug addiction,
overachieving, going to extremeswith money, chasing sex,
chasing being overly educated,there are chasing food,
overeating, there are so cuttingyourself, there are so many.
(29:59):
Ways that undealt with traumamanifests itself with all of us.
It does not look the same, butmuch of it comes from the same
roots.
My question to you is do youhave undealt with trauma?
And I want you to examineyourself before you answer.
(30:22):
How is that manifesting in yourlife?
How is it already dealing withyou?
Cause see, anytime we havetrauma that we don't deal with,
I promise you, it is alreadydealing with you.
I want you to think about that.
(30:42):
You've been listening to MindShift Power Podcast for complete
show notes on this episode, andto join our global movement,
find us at fatimabay.com.
Until next time, alwaysremember there's power in
shifting your thinking.
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