September 3, 2024 • 60 mins
In this deeply personal episode, I share the magical preconception story of my son Henry, who started visiting me in dreams 7 years before he was born. Tune in to hear:
- The moment I knew I’d be a mother, even though I never planned on it
- How my son started communicating with me long before he was born
- My experience with a miscarriage and pregnancy after loss
- The beautiful signs and symbols that carried me through my grief, all the way through a healthy pregnancy and birth
- Tips for communicating with your own spirit babies
Follow me on Instagram @hollyfisherhiggins
Work with me as a hypnotherapy client: https://www.hollyfisherhiggins.com/work-with-me/rtt-rapid-transformational-hypnotherapy/
Download my free "Clear the Crap" meditation here (this will put you on my email list!)
Books mentioned:
Babies are Cosmic, by Elizabeth and Neil Carman
Spirit Babies, by Walter Makichen
A Cosmic Bond, by Emily Greene
Music: Joseph McDade, "On the Verge"
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Welcome to MindSpeak.
I'm Holly Higgins, ahypnotherapist and a total nerd
when it comes to all thingsholistic mental health.
I'm here to help you tap intothe truth of who you really are.
I'm here to help you tap intothe truth of who you really are.
Beyond trauma, pastconditioning, limiting beliefs,
(00:34):
underneath the baggage, there'sfreedom.
Think of the conversations andideas on this show like
breadcrumbs along the healingpath.
Let's dive in.
Hello, I am so excited torecord today's episode.
This episode has been on myheart for a very long time, and
(00:54):
in this episode I am going totell the story of my son, henry,
and how he was communicatingwith us long before he was born.
Some people refer to thisphenomenon as spirit babies is
usually what it's commonlycalled.
This is when a childcommunicates with you very
(01:15):
clearly before their birth, andso today I'm going to tell the
absolutely magical story ofHenry in spirit baby form,
before he ever came tophysically be on this planet,
and I'm going to preface this bysaying that this is an
extremely personal share.
(01:37):
It's very, very personal to me,but I keep getting the message
that someone or many ones outthere need to hear it, and I
also am recording this because Iwant to keep the full story for
myself in one place and, yes, Icould do that in a journal
entry, but this just feels moreappropriate for me.
(01:59):
And I also want to preface thisby saying that this is
absolutely the most magicalstory of my life.
It is stranger than fiction, itis absolutely wild, and there
are also going to be some sadtopics within this episode
topics like miscarriage andgrief, just to give you a heads
(02:22):
up about that and ultimately,it's an extremely uplifting
story.
But I will warn you that thismay tug on your heartstrings
more than a Hallmark movie.
So just be prepared, and ifyou're sensitive to hearing
about pregnancy or pregnancyloss, that might be a
consideration for you as well,although, in my perspective,
(02:44):
this story is just all abouthope, and I ask that you listen
with an open heart and an openmind, whether or not your belief
systems or ways of looking atthe world align with mine.
If you choose to listen to thisepisode, I just ask that you
remain in a spirit of opennessas you hear it.
(03:05):
So here we go.
Let's start at the verybeginning, or where it makes
sense to start.
My husband and I we have beentogether since 2009.
So a very long time, almost 15years that's a little weird for
me to wrap my mind around andfor the longest time we actually
(03:26):
didn't think that we wantedkids.
We remained somewhat open, butwe were pretty sure in the back
of our minds that we were justgoing to be childless and very
content and happy and focused onour careers and that we didn't
ever really see ourselves havingkids.
Ha ha ha.
And that we didn't ever reallysee ourselves having kids, ha ha
ha.
So we got together in 2009.
(03:49):
And it was either in 2015 or2016.
I went to bed one night and Ihad a dream of a little boy on a
beach.
I was behind him, I was lookingat him, his back was facing me.
I remember he was wearing afloppy sun hat and he was
(04:09):
sitting on the beach playing inthe sand and I looked out and I
could see the water and I couldsee something, you know, in the
distance, kind of like the otherside of the shore or a mountain
range or something.
And I just remember staring atthe back of this little boy.
I couldn't see his face, but Iknew that he was a boy and I
(04:29):
woke up in the morning and itseems like a very simple dream,
and I don't have any way todescribe this, but I was just
covered in chills and I knewthat this was real.
There was just some deepknowing inside of me.
This is my son and this wasreal.
It was somehow different thanany other dream that I'd ever
(04:53):
had and I again I can't tell youwhy or how I knew that this was
real.
I just knew that it was realand for the longest time, this
haunted me, because we didn'tplan on having kids.
It wasn't something that wetalked about, and I just knew
that it was real and it kind offreaked me out and also, I
(05:17):
didn't tell Sean for the longesttime.
So this was 2015, 2016.
I had kept this dream to myselfand it would pop into my
consciousness here and there andI'd just be like, oh yeah, that
wild and crazy dream.
But then in 2019, 2020, westarted talking about the
(05:39):
possibility of having kids.
It started coming into ourconversations just in a really
casual way and at the time I was32 or 33.
And as we were just kind ofstarting to open the door to
maybe this is a possibility, Iwas talking to Sean and I told
him about the dream and come tofind out he had had the exact
(06:04):
same dream.
So that was pretty flooring toboth of us when we realized that
we had had the same dream.
I think he even had it multipletimes and we just never
communicated it with each otherbecause for the longest time,
that just felt like somethingthat we weren't talking about.
And once we found out that wehad had the same dream, that
(06:26):
made things much more real forus and we started kind of
thinking along the lines of,okay, this is gonna happen, but
we just don't know when, andwe're going to trust the timing
on all of this and fast forwardto April 2020.
That was right after March of2020, which is when COVID came
(06:46):
along, april 2020, I was in avery, very deep meditation and I
saw this picture in my mind'seye and, just to give you a
little preface for this, I wasin my husband's office, and in
his office he has a photo an oldphoto of him and his family,
(07:07):
and so it's his mom and his dadstanding beside each other, and
then, under his mom and his dad,are him and his sister, so his
dad has his arms on his sister'sshoulders and Sean's mom has
her hands on Sean's shoulders.
So just think of it as twoparents and their two children,
(07:31):
boy and girl, are standingunderneath them and their hands
are on their shoulders andthey're standing there and
they're smiling at the camera.
So, anyway, I'm in this deepmeditation and I see this photo
in my mind's eye of Sean and hisfamily.
And then, right underneath Sean, right underneath his hands, I
(07:56):
saw the image of a little boyappear underneath Sean's hands,
and then I heard the wordscontinuing the paternal lineage.
So you can imagine Sean's dadis there, and then Sean is there
, and then, underneath Sean'shands, underneath this little
boy, is an even littler boycontinuing the paternal lineage.
(08:22):
And I saw this little boyappear and I now know that this
little boy was my son and ofcourse I knew then.
But reflecting back on theimage I saw now I'm like, oh
yeah, that indeed is and wasHenry appearing underneath Sean
in my mind's eye and in additionto the phrase continuing the
(08:45):
paternal lineage, I also justhad this instant awareness of
this is always why you see thenumber two.
He communicates with youthrough twos.
Now, if you're a longtimelistener or you go back in the
episode archive a while you'llknow that I have an episode on
(09:07):
repeating numbers, or angelnumbers, and I talk about 222
and 444 and other numbers thatI've had throughout my life.
And in this meditation I gotthe insight that Henry, who was
then my spirit baby, who wasthen my spirit baby, had been
(09:28):
communicating with me throughthe number two for a very long
time.
So at this point, we've hadmany magical things happen.
We've had the dream, we've hadthe vision of the photo, I've
gotten the knowledge that hecommunicates with me through
twos, and Sean and I continuedto talk about pregnancy, but we
were waiting for the right time.
It just didn't feel like theright time yet, and in September
(09:49):
2020, we moved to Tennessee,and a couple months after we
moved in I think it was aboutNovember 2020, I did a hypnosis
session with my husband, sean.
I don't often do hypnosissessions with him simply because
he's my spouse and it's usuallybetter for a spouse to do their
inner work with.
You know someone who's unbiased, but I do occasionally do
(10:12):
hypnosis sessions for him and Idon't even recall exactly what
the session was for, but in thatsession, I did a future
progression with him, and what afuture progression is is when
you're in hypnosis, instead oftaking someone back in time,
which is what we usually do, weusually go back in time to find
(10:36):
the root cause of issues andchallenges.
I'll take someone forward intime and I'll ask them usually
to land in a scene that willgive them hope and perspective
and clarity and just reassuranceabout their future.
So, anyway, we did a futureprogression and in that future
(10:58):
progression, sean saw a littleboy in my office upstairs and in
this vision that he had, thislittle boy was about four or
five years old, he was wearing arobot t shirt and he was hiding
under my desk and saying Mommy,mommy, you can't catch me.
Mommy, mommy, you can't catch me.
And Sean also noticed that allover my office there were these
(11:23):
crayon drawings of birds, andnot even in my office, but just
all over the house.
He had this awareness thatthere were these drawings of
birds everywhere, and he gotthis message and hypnosis from
our spirit baby Henry, wheneveryou see a bird, think of me.
And so that was really, reallysignificant.
(11:46):
And Sean came out of thathypnosis just in absolute awe
and filled with love, and alsome being there to facilitate it.
Both of us were just incomplete awe over the visions
and the messages that he hadreceived while in hypnosis.
(12:06):
So, reminding you of thetimeline, that happened in
November 2020.
And so more time passes andwe're kind of planning and
talking about the ideal time,and as more time passes, the
sense of urgency also increases,not like a frantic urgency, but
(12:28):
we could just feel him hoveringaround us in a very palpable
way and we just started feelinglike, okay, okay, I think it's
time, I think it's time, okay, Ithink it's time, I think it's
(12:50):
time.
So, flash forward to August22nd 2021.
It was a full moon and it alsohappened to be a blue moon,
which is rare.
A blue moon is when there aretwo full moons in one month.
So it was August 22nd 2021.
And that date felt reallysignificant because I knew that
Henry had been communicating tous in twos.
And so, august 22nd, I thoughtthis date is very, very
(13:11):
significant.
And it also just so happenedthat I was ovulating and so one
morning we were intimate, we didthe deed, and then I just felt
in my body that it happened.
I just had this feeling like ithappened.
I can't explain it.
There was just this whoosh ofenergy that came over me and I
(13:37):
just knew in my core that I hadconceived.
And so later that morning wewent outside, on the front porch
, to have coffee and we werejust having a slow, leisurely
morning and once we sat downoutside, there were hundreds,
(13:58):
honestly, if not 1000s, of birdsthat flooded into our front
pasture.
Our front porch overlooks thisbig open pasture and you could
just hear the birds.
They were blackbirds of acertain kind.
They may have just beenblackbirds, I don't know exactly
what kind of birds they were,but there were hundreds, if not
thousands of them, and they justflooded in to the front pasture
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and we both remembered thatcommunication that we had
received when he said wheneveryou see a bird, think of me.
And here we are looking outover the field and there are
thousands of birds.
And I just had this, knowingthat I had conceived.
And then I also remember goinginside after we'd finished our
(14:44):
coffee and I opened up Instagramand the very first thing in my
feed was a picture of the fullmoon from a friend of mine who
lives in Australia and her babyboy was looking out the window
and pointing at the full moon,and I think at the time her son
may have been one and a half orsomething like that.
(15:06):
So, yeah, I opened my Instagramapp to see this little boy
pointing at the moon and I justthought oh my gosh, oh my gosh,
this has happened, this is it.
And so then we waited.
If you have ever been on aconception journey, you know
that that two-week wait betweenconception and being able to get
(15:29):
a positive pregnancy test, orbeing able to read a pregnancy
test it is absolute torture.
But anyway, fast forward twoweeks.
I took a pregnancy test inearly September and it was
positive and I was absolutelyoverjoyed.
We had gotten all those signsthat this was it and this was
(15:51):
the time.
And it happened.
It happened, and we were justso elated and for the longest
time we referred to our son,even though we knew we wanted to
name him Henry.
We called him baby H Because wewe always had these impressions
that he was a boy, but wewanted to be safe.
(16:13):
We didn't want to, you know,always be referring to a boy if,
in fact, I had conceived a girl, just out of respect for the
growing baby.
So we called the baby baby H.
And one day, a little bit lateron, I was on a hike by myself
and I just said out loud in theforest.
(16:36):
I said baby H, if you can hearme, show me a feather.
And as I was wrapping up thathike and heading back to my car,
I noticed on the trail,directly in the middle of the
trail, in front of me, there wasthis beautiful blue bluebird
feather, this small, beautifulblue feather, and I bent down
(17:02):
and I picked it up and I savedit and I just felt such a strong
presence of love as I bent downand I picked up this feather
Yet again, more confirmation.
So baby H was with me and babyH could hear me.
And so a couple weeks later mymom came to stay with us for a
(17:22):
little bit.
She was living in Arkansas atthe time and she'd brought along
with her a lot of photos, oldphoto books and mementos from my
childhood.
And one night I was goingthrough the old photo books and
I came across my baby braceletfrom the hospital.
So I was looking at my babybracelet and I noticed that on
(17:46):
my little baby bracelet from thehospital, 222, the number 222
was in my patient number as aninfant and I just got chills.
I was like, wow, how uncanny isit that baby H has been
(18:06):
communicating with me throughtwos and these numbers were
actually on my baby bracelet asan infant in the hospital.
I just thought how uncanny isthat.
So we fast forward a little bitmore that.
(18:28):
So we fast forward a little bitmore.
And it's late September.
I must have been about sevenweeks along at the time and I
was up in my office I was havinga meeting with a client and
then I came downstairs and Itook a bathroom break and I
noticed that I had some spottingand I started to get really
concerned and really panicky andI called my midwife and she
said oh, you know, this canhappen, don't worry about it,
(18:51):
just take it easy, just rest.
It should hopefully go away.
Get back in touch with me andcall me if it doesn't go away.
And the spotting did kind ofdie down.
But by the next day I ended uphaving a heavy bleed and I
called my midwife and she toldme you know, at this point you
need to go to the hospital.
(19:12):
And that was a really, really,really scary time for us.
We were not prepared for it, wewere not expecting it.
My heart just absolutely sank.
I was in tears on the way tothe hospital.
My heart just absolutely sank.
I was in tears on the way tothe hospital and when we got to
the hospital, I checked intoregistration before sitting down
in the waiting room and I gotmy hospital bracelet, my patient
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bracelet, and it had thenumbers 2222 on it and my
husband and I both saw that andwe just felt like, okay, this is
potentially horrible and yetthis feels like a sign that
everything is going to be okay.
(19:56):
And I was in really, reallyhorrible physical pain.
It was awful.
I was in the hospital for mostof the evening.
I think I can't remember when Icame home.
I think it was later in theevening and there are some
details about the physicalprocess and what happened and
(20:20):
what didn't happen and waitingto find out exactly what
happened that aren't exactlyrelevant to this episode.
But essentially, what happenedis I naturally had a miscarriage
, so I didn't have to be inducedfor a miscarriage or any
anything like that.
No DNC or anything like that.
I had a natural miscarriagethat I honestly probably could
(20:44):
have stayed home for, but I wasso panicked at the time that I
chose to go to the hospital andso, anyway, there there are
details about the physicality ofall of that that aren't
necessarily relevant to themessage that I want to share
today, but the short of it isthat I was in a whole lot of
(21:04):
physical pain Interestingly way,way, way more pain during my
early miscarriage than I endedup having at my eventual birth.
I think that is reallyinteresting, and something that
I don't see talked about veryoften is that my very early
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miscarriage was much morephysically painful than my
actual full-term birth of myhealthy baby.
I just think that's sofascinating.
But it does make a lot of sense,because the miscarriage was not
something that I was planningfor.
It was very emotionallychallenging and difficult for me
(21:46):
, and so in a lot of ways, Ithink it makes sense in that
regard.
But if you just look at thephysicality of it, it's it's not
what you would expect.
So, anyway, we get home thatnight, we are exhausted and
heartbreaking and we get homeand we're walking in the door
(22:07):
and we see a feather right onour doorstep and it took our
breath away, because I hadalready told Sean about the
feathers.
I had told him about, you know,all the signs that I had
encountered along this journeyand we saw that feather and it
took our breath away and we werestill heartbroken.
(22:28):
We were still heartbroken butwe also felt like, okay, we are
being heard, we are being guided.
There is a greater plan afootin all of this that might not
make sense to our earthly minds.
So we get home and I decide thatI want to watch documentaries
(22:50):
on near-death experiencesbecause those are very
comforting to me.
I'm very fascinated bynear-death experiences in
general stories of people whohave died, gone to the other
side and come back.
They're very comforting to me,they're very fascinating to me
(23:12):
and in my opinion, there are alot of crossovers also with what
people report in pre-birthexperiences, accounts of
pre-birth communications.
(23:32):
So I decided, hey, I'm supersad, I just want to sit on the
couch and I want to watchdocumentaries about near-death
experiences.
So I turn one on and a lot ofthese have really low production
budgets and they're supercheesy, but I love them anyway.
So I turn one on and a littlebit into the documentary there's
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this older woman that comes onand she's wearing this very, uh,
very eccentric garb let's putit that way this very eccentric
clothing, and she has this giantfeather lapel pin, this giant
lapel pin on her jacket orwhatever it was that she was
(24:19):
wearing and it's a feather.
And I just thought to myselfand I said to Sean are you
kidding me?
Like we get home and there's afeather on our doorstep, and now
I'm strongly drawn to watchthis documentary and within the
first five minutes of thedocumentary there's this lady
wearing a massive feather lapelpin.
(24:40):
So, even though I was intremendous pain and tremendous
grief pin, so even though I wasin tremendous pain and
tremendous grief, there werethese messages coming from the
divine that were holding me.
And we got up the next morningand I was still in really severe
pain and Sean opened the doorto find yet another feather
(25:02):
right on our doorstep.
And this was feeling uncanny bythen.
And not only were we findingand seeing all of these signs,
but we just felt this really,really palpable presence around
us, as if he was hovering aroundand just desperately trying to
send us these messages of peaceand reassurance.
(25:25):
So, yeah, another feather righton the doorstep.
And later that morning I decidedto go out to the hammock and
sit in the hammock and just getsome sunshine and try to just
breathe and ground myself.
So I went out and I sat on thehammock and I was looking down
(25:45):
our driveway and I was justgrieving and mourning and riding
the waves of pain that werecoming over me and I noticed at
the other end of the driveway Isaw this balloon that was
blowing about.
It looked like a balloon fromyou know a party or something
(26:05):
that had blown onto our propertyand it was just kind of
flip-flopping and floatingaround and I just sat in the
hammock and I watched it and Iremember thinking to myself how
ironic and sad and obnoxious isit that there is this blatant
(26:27):
symbol of celebration that showsup in my yard on a day when I
am in some of the deepest griefin my life.
It just felt like this cosmicmiddle finger to have this
symbol of celebration be in myyard flitting about when I am
(26:50):
having such a horrible time.
So I'm laying there, really,really annoyed at this balloon,
and I just try to ignore it andI'm laying there staring up at
the sky and then, out of thecorner of my eye, I see the
balloon again and the balloon iskind of blowing toward me and
making its way toward me like a,like a little trash tumbleweed
(27:13):
and eventually it blows right upbeside me, right up beside my
hammock, and I pick it up and Ilook at it and it says happy
birthday.
And there's this giant rainbowon it, a giant rainbow, and it
says happy birthday.
And I was just really, reallymad.
(27:34):
I was so mad because the firstthing that crossed my mind was
my baby that was just in my bodyis not going to have a proper
birthday, and that fills me withgrief and I'm so angry that
this stupid symbol of happinessand celebration showed up to
(27:57):
greet me today, and so I set itdown beside the hammock.
I didn't feel like taking it tothe trash or doing anything
with it, I just sat it downbeside the hammock and I just
sobbed for a little while.
It just was not something thatI wanted to see.
It felt very rude, like I said,it felt like a cosmic metal
(28:20):
finger and I stared up at thesky and I was.
I was just in my grief and thenI noticed the balloon started
blowing away and it was blowingand tumbling and it made its way
from the hammock, where I was,all the way to the front door of
(28:43):
our house, and my husband wasin the house at the time.
He was inside of the house andI was out in the yard and this
balloon blows up to the frontdoor.
Blows up to the front door somuch so that it appears to be
pressing itself against ourfront door, as if it is
literally trying to make its wayinto the house.
(29:04):
And then it started kind ofblowing back and forth and
dancing back and forth and likehitting the door, and I got this
sense that it was knocking onthe door and it was just moving
in these really uncanny waysthat didn't appear to be
necessarily driven by thepattern of the wind.
(29:25):
And so I'm sitting here watchingthis balloon in consternation
and then I get a, I get a reallygood view of the balloon again
and what's on it, and happybirthday with a rainbow.
And then I just hear the phrasein my head rainbow baby,
rainbow baby.
And I stop for a minute and Ithink, oh, my goodness, this is
(29:49):
another message from baby H,from our spirit baby.
This is another message.
And so my attitude about thisballoon changed in an instant
when I realized what the messagewas.
And if you're unfamiliar withthe term rainbow baby, what
rainbow baby means is it is thebaby that you have, the baby
(30:12):
that you have, the baby that youbring earthside successfully
after a loss, after a pregnancyloss that's the simplest way
that I can think of to describeit.
And so then I chose to look atthe balloon with the message
happy birthday, rainbow baby.
(30:34):
So I knew it was a message thatour baby was coming.
It just wasn't coming in thebody that I had been carrying,
and I still have that balloon.
What I initially thought wasgoing to be a very obnoxious
piece of trash has turned intoone of my most prized
possessions that I still haveand I cherish.
(30:58):
And anyway, after the balloonincident, the weeks that
followed they were very, veryhard.
Even though we were receivingall of these signs, we were
still in deep grief and we werein shock.
It was just a really, reallychallenging time for us.
But still, the feathers keptshowing up multiple times per
(31:23):
day on our doorstep, andsometimes in random places.
But they were showing up withsuch persistence that Sean and I
started asking each other, likeare you putting these here?
Are you sure you're not puttingthese here?
Do you promise you're notputting these here?
To just to make me feel better?
Like, do you pinky swear?
Then we both swore up and down.
(31:44):
We were not putting thefeathers on the doorstep.
They were just showing up there, and we do live on a farm and
we do have chickens, but themajority of these I'd say 90% of
these were not chicken feathers, they were just small gray
feathers.
They look like they're from amorning dove, just these small
(32:04):
gray feathers.
And so the chickens weren't anexcuse either.
These feathers, they were justshowing up.
And I also remember over thosenext couple of weeks we saw a
really, really big rainbow inthe sky.
We kept seeing 222 everywherewe went.
(32:25):
I found some golf balls in myyard that had the number 22 on
them.
I found multiple golf balls inmy yard with the number 22.
On them.
I found multiple golf balls inmy yard with the number 22.
And as the weeks went on, we hadamassed basically this little
(32:47):
shrine that I kept in the windowwith just dozens and dozens of
feathers and receipts with 222and labels with 222, just all of
these things that we hadcollected that had 222 on them,
as well as the balloon.
The balloon was part of thelittle shrine that we had
amassed over those weeks.
And you know that fall and thatwinter things, even though we
(33:10):
were getting all of thesebeautiful symbols and signs.
Things just felt really darkand I remember my husband and I
were so depressed that we sleptout in the living room on the
living room floor, I think wedragged our mattresses out there
and we just had a slumber partyin the living room every night
and we watched TV every nightjust for a sense of fun and
(33:32):
novelty, because we just neededsomething to break up our
routine and change ourenvironment to make it feel more
comforting, just because of howdevastated we were.
And if you've been through apregnancy loss or any kind of
deep grief like that, I'm surethat you can relate.
(33:54):
And time went on and I didn'tfeel ready to try again and I
was starting to have fears aboutmy own fertility and I was
continuing to receive thesesigns, the feathers and the
numbers.
But after a couple of weeks Iwould say after about two to
(34:14):
three weeks post miscarriage,post pregnancy loss the signs,
they feel like they started toslow down and then in December
2021, this is roughly threemonths after the pregnancy loss
I did a future self hypnosisloss.
(34:40):
I did a future self hypnosis.
You know I talked about earlierin the episode.
I did a hypnosis session withmy husband, sean, and I did a
future progression on him.
This was similar to what I didwith him, but it was basically
more of a guided meditationexperience.
This is actually the main thingthat inspired me to create
Future Glimpse.
If you have heard me talk aboutmy Future Glimpse program,
(35:02):
which is available on my websiteas an instant download, it's, I
think it's, like a 35 minutemeditation that takes you into a
future progression so that youcan have experiences, meaningful
experiences of your own when itcomes to glimpsing into the
future.
That's what I did.
(35:22):
I did a future self meditationand I call these future glimpses
now and I took myself one yearinto the future.
So keep in mind, with thetimeline, this is December 2021.
I'm doing a future selfmeditation and I am quote,
unquote time traveling one yearinto the future, and this
(35:44):
meditation to December 2022.
And I have this vision of alittle boy in a little baby
swing, a little infant baby boyin a baby swing in front of the
Christmas tree, and he had darkhair and these big sparkly eyes,
(36:10):
and I just saw me and Seansitting in the living room on
the living room rug in front ofthis baby swing, and the baby
swing is just moving back andforth and we were looking at
this little boy with dark hairand it was such a clear vision
(36:30):
and it came with so much love.
I just felt myself surroundedby love as I saw this little
baby boy in the infant swing.
And I also remember having thisknowing, because I was.
I was looking at this visionand this image and just taking
it all in.
And I just had this knowing inmy head of oh, he's three months
old, he's three months old,it's December 2022.
(36:55):
And he's three months old.
And I came out of thatmeditation and I did the math
and, you know, counted up thenine months or whatever, and I
realized, okay, if he's threemonths old in December 2022,
that would mean he would have tobe born in September of 2022.
(37:15):
And I had really mixed feelingsabout this, about this vision
that I had in the future glimpse, future self meditation,
because the image was so, so, soreal and yet I also wanted to
protect my heart and I didn'twant to get my hopes up.
So I wanted so badly to believeit was real and simultaneously,
(37:40):
I was afraid to believe it wasreal because I just didn't want
to get my hopes up.
And so, doing that math,realizing that he would be born
in September of 2022, I thought,well, if that's true, then
we're going to have to conceivereally soon.
(38:01):
And I know it was only onepregnancy loss, but I had
spiraled into a pretty darkplace and I had been having
doubts about my fertility and Iwas worrying and thinking to
myself oh my gosh, like what, if?
What if we can't even conceive?
Like what if?
What if this isn't even goingto happen?
You know, grief can really takea stronghold on you and even
(38:23):
with all of these beautifuldivine signs and visions and
experiences, I still had doubtand I still had fear.
But we did try again that monthand we waited again, that
torturous wait, which is evenmore complicated because now
(38:44):
it's layered with these emotionsand the experience of loss.
But then, on January 12, 2024,I had a positive pregnancy test
and it was such a mix ofemotions Because when you find
(39:06):
out you're pregnant after you'vehad a pregnancy loss, it's.
It's tough because you want tocelebrate, you want to get
excited, you want to get yourhopes up, but you're also not
naive anymore because you'veexperienced loss and there's a
sense of wanting to guard yourheart.
So when I took this pregnancytest, sean was outside.
(39:29):
He was working on something onthe homestead.
I was inside and I knew I couldnot keep it from him for very
long at all, nor did I want to.
So he was outside and I decidedto make it really special and I
took all of the feathers thatwe had gathered and amassed, all
(39:53):
of the feathers that had beensent to us after the loss that
we kept on our little magicalshrine.
I took all of the feathers andI made a trail from the front
door all the way back to ourback bedroom and our closet.
And I made the trail back tothe closet and then I just went
and I hid in the closet and Iwaited for him to come, in which
(40:18):
it could have been hours or itcould have been minutes, but
fortunately I didn't have tohide too long, I think within a
few minutes he happened to comein the house and he followed the
trail of feathers all the wayback to the back closet and I
got to show him the positivetest and he was overjoyed and we
(40:40):
just cried and hugged in thecloset.
I still get emotional thinkingabout it, um, because not only
was I nervous about my fertilitybut I think my husband, sean,
was even more nervous andworried about would it be
possible for us to conceiveagain, which I know some of you
might be listening to this andthinking oh my gosh, you had one
(41:01):
pregnancy loss, like, of course, you know things are still
healthy and viable, but ifyou've been through a loss, you
know what your mind can do, inthe places it can go, and we had
developed a lot of fears inthat time, and so we sat in the
closet and we cried and wehugged and we were just
(41:22):
surrounded by all of thesefeathers and it was just a
really, really special, magical,beautiful moment.
And after the initial burst ofexcitement started to cool down,
I remembered the future selfexercise that I did back in
December and I realized, oh,like I need, I need to do the
(41:53):
math, due date calculation, andI realized he would be born
likely sometime in September2022, which would mean that by
December 2022, the vision that Ihad he would be exactly three
months old, which was themessage that I had received in
(42:14):
that vision.
And so I just, I just knew itwas him.
I knew he had beencommunicating with us all along.
I knew that he had initiallybeen with us in that first
pregnancy and then, for whateverreason, he needed to change
plans.
He needed to change reason, heneeded to change plans, he
(42:40):
needed to change meat suits, heneeded to change the body that
he was going to be born into.
And he did a little switcherooand I just knew that he came
back to us and I just had suchpeace that everything would be
okay and that I was going tomeet him.
Now that didn't mean I didn'thave any anxiety during my
(43:01):
pregnancy.
I definitely did.
I definitely did slip intomoments of being anxious,
especially during that firsttrimester, just with the just
kind of, with the PTSD of goingthrough a loss.
I did find myself anxious andworried, but with all of those
(43:22):
signs to cling to, I was able tousually pretty quickly anchor
myself back into peace andtrusting the process.
And then, after that positivetest in January, the signs that
we were getting the feathers andthe numbers and things like
that, they really seemed to kindof slow down, which initially I
(43:45):
was sad about, because I lovedall of the communication but I
also loved feeling this babygrowing in my belly and just
having having this presenceinside of me.
Um, and so we decided that wewanted to do a gender reveal
(44:06):
because it felt really, reallyimportant for us to know the
gender of the baby.
I know some people they lovewaiting until birth to find out
the gender, but we really,really wanted to know the gender
because all of thesecommunications that we had
gotten over the years, sincegeez 2015 or 2016,.
(44:27):
They had all been really clearvisions and knowings that he
would be a boy.
And so we wanted to do thatgender reveal to find out.
So I took a blood test.
It was like this little at homemail in blood test.
It was really simple.
Oh, it's called sneak peek.
That's the name of the test issneak peek.
So I mailed in and I had theinstructions made in such a way
(44:52):
that the results would be sentto my sister-in-law, sean's
sister, and she would find outand we wouldn't know.
And then we organized a genderreveal party so that it would be
a surprise to me and Sean atthe party and my sister-in-law
was in charge of knowing.
And we set up this really cheesy, cute party theme, uh, where
(45:15):
she was going to fill a chickenegg with either blue or pink
glitter and then Sean and I Ithink she ended up filling up
two eggs, or was it just one?
I think it was just one andSean cracked it.
Yes, it was just one egg.
So she filled up this chickenegg.
I don't know how she actuallyit was a real chicken egg.
(45:38):
I don't know how she got theyolk out of the shell.
I think there's this strangemethod where you can drill like
a tiny hole in an eggshell andthen somehow the yolk and the
white drains out and you canfill the egg with things.
I don't know how she did it.
All I know is that it was areal chicken egg and she filled
it with the appropriate coloredglitter and then we had this
(46:02):
giant stuffed chicken and we satthe giant stuffed chicken on
top of the egg.
So that was the whole part.
The whole party plan is that wewere going to crack these eggs,
this egg.
It was going to have blue orpink glitter and that's how we
were going to find out the sexof our baby.
So one more sign from baby H.
(46:27):
The day before the party orrather it was the night before
the party I had a dream, and sothis, um, this plan was already
in place.
I knew what the theme of theparty was going to be.
I knew the details.
The only details I didn't knowwas the sex of my baby.
And so the night before theparty, I had this very, very
(46:52):
vivid dream that I am watching ahand crack an egg on a bowl and
all of this blue glitter spillsout of the egg.
And I wake up and I'm just like, yeah, yeah, he's a boy.
We're gonna crack the egg andit's gonna be blue.
And this dream was so clear andso vivid and I just had such a
(47:18):
strong knowing.
It was that same feeling that Ihad way back in 2015.
When I had the dream about thelittle boy on the beach, it came
with that same clarity and thatsame knowing.
And the next day we're havingthe party and everyone's
gathered around and most of myfamily thinks it's a girl.
(47:41):
They're very, very insistentthat it's a girl and I think
because I have two nephews andmaybe someone was secretly
hoping for a granddaughter, Idon't know everyone thinks it's
a girl and I'm like, sorry guys,it's a boy.
I just know and I had a dreamand it's a boy.
And anyway, we crack the egg,sean cracks the egg and we watch
(48:03):
in great anticipation and, sureenough.
Out of that egg spills just tonsand tons of blue glitter, and
it was one of the happiestmoments of my life, just because
of all of the signs that we hadreceived.
I would have been happy eitherway, obviously, but it was just
(48:28):
the ultimate confirmation thatall of these signs that I had
received from the dreams to thenumbers, to the feathers, to the
balloon, to the this, to thethat, to the having the dream
about the blue glitter, it wasjust further proof to me that
all of these communications wereabsolutely real, and I was so
(48:53):
overjoyed to know that the soulthat had been communicating with
me so strongly and sopersistently was with me and he
had been speaking to me allalong.
And also I could call him babyHenry now instead of baby H.
So after having that dreamabout cracking, cracking the egg
(49:14):
and it was blue things startedto get a lot quieter as far as
signs went.
I didn't really see a lot offeathers, I just felt like I
couldn't access him, whereasbefore I felt this very strong,
clear, palpable access betweenus and I felt like I could feel
(49:38):
him hovering around me.
And then, while I was pregnantand as he was growing inside of
my body.
I actually felt less access tohim, if that makes sense.
And it was the.
It was the strangest feelingand I was saddened by it for a
while and confused by it.
But come to find out this isactually a pretty normal
(50:00):
phenomenon with people who havestrong communication with their
spirit babies.
This doesn't happen toeverybody, but it's a pretty
common phenomenon that once thevessel has landed and is growing
, so to speak, once the fetus isgrowing, it is actually pretty
common that some of that spiritbaby communication dies down.
(50:22):
And I learned this from Emily,the Medium who I follow and
adore.
I'll link some of her stuff upin the show notes.
She has a book on spirit babiescalled A Cosmic Bond.
I was listening to her podcastrecently and she had mentioned
this phenomenon of thingsgetting quieter once someone is
pregnant.
So once I learned that, thatwas really comforting and
(50:47):
assuring for me, like oh, okay,nothing's wrong, like this.
This just happens when, whenthe body is growing, okay, okay.
And as my pregnancy progressedand as my due date, my guest
date, my guest date drew near, Ialways wondered in the back of
my mind if he would be born onthe 29th of September, because
(51:11):
that was the day that I had thepregnancy loss the year prior
was September 29th and so Ithought how significant would it
be if he was actually born andcame full circle.
And was actually born and cameearthside on September 29th.
How magical would that be.
(51:31):
But it ended up being September22, 2022, which was the fall
equinox, so he was born on thefirst day of fall and his birth
date, if you write it outnumerically, is 9222022.
(51:55):
It's full of twos.
There are four twos, just likethere were on the hospital
bracelets Pretty amazing.
And in his earliest days, whenhe was just a few days old, I
took him outside and I tookphotos of him with the happy
(52:18):
birthday rainbow balloon thathad blown into my yard a year
prior the balloon that I oncethought was annoying trash.
That is now sacred.
I took photos of him laying onthat balloon or near that
balloon.
I don't think I trash.
That is now sacred.
I took photos of him laying onthat balloon or near that
balloon.
I don't think I put him on theballoon.
I took photos of him with theballoon and it was just the
(52:40):
sweetest, sweetest moment.
And he is older now.
I'm glad I am recording thisstory because the more time that
passes, the fuzzier the detailsbecome, and so it feels
important to me now that I'mgetting these details on paper
before, or on paper on audio,before they start to become
(53:03):
fuzzier, because it's reallyimportant to preserve them.
And he's just one and a half,but he already loves birds, as
he alluded to before he cameearthside.
Whenever you see a bird, thinkof me, he already loves birds.
He's obsessed with our chickensand he's also obsessed with any
(53:24):
kind of little bird he sees inthe sky.
He calls the chickens bok bok,and if he sees a bird flying
around, he calls it atweet-tweet.
And he always wants to look athis little picture books and
find all of the birds.
And I just can't wait towitness how this will continue
to evolve as he gets older.
(53:44):
And I wonder, you know, will heremember this?
Will he talk about it?
Will he remember his experiencebefore he came earthside and
all of the signs that he shared?
I don't know, but he's alreadystarting to use quite a few
words, so maybe we will find outone of these days, one of these
(54:12):
days.
And it's nothing that I willever pressure or pester him
about, and it's honestly notsomething that I plan to ask him
about.
I am just going to wait and seeif he ever has anything to say
to me about it At this point.
Just because of all of theexperiences that I've had, I've
read quite a few books on prebirth consciousness, one of
(54:38):
which is called babies arecosmic.
It is an absolutely fascinatingread.
I will link it up in the shownotes.
But what that book talks aboutis accounts of children who
remember pre birth experiences.
So they remember things frombefore they were born, before
they came earthside, and it isthe most beautiful, heartwarming
(55:00):
book and it's stories thatparents have shared of their
young children.
Usually they're about from agestwo to five.
They'll just spontaneouslyshare stories of pre birth
experiences and the details thatthey share are so significant
(55:20):
and uncanny and they'll sharethings that would have been
impossible for them to know Inany other capacity, like they'll
share things about other familymembers or people that have
passed on, et cetera, et cetera,that no adult has ever talked
to them about before.
So if you're interested instories like that, I cannot
(55:42):
recommend the book Babies AreCosmic by Elizabeth and Neil
Carman more highly.
It will give you hope in timesof doubt and grief and it will
inspire awe and wonder wheneveryou need that sort of pick me up
.
So definitely check out thatbook if you've been inspired by
(56:06):
this episode.
Other books that I highlyrecommend on this topic are
Spirit Babies by Walter MakachinI think that's how you
pronounce his name and Imentioned this earlier but A
Cosmic Bond by Emily Green, whoalso goes by Emily the Medium.
(56:26):
These are just a few titlesthat I love and can recommend
highly, and I'll be sure to linkup all of those in the show
notes.
And if you are in a place whereyou are trying to conceive or
you're interested in spirit babycommunication, the most simple
thing that I can recommend it'ssimple but profound is just
(56:50):
asking for a sign, asking foryour spirit baby to show you a
sign that they are there andbeing open to whatever you
receive.
Now, in my case, I said veryspecifically and directly show
me a feather, and that ended upbeing the sign.
But they can come in all sortsof different ways.
(57:11):
So ask for a sign and thennotice what you receive.
And if you are interested inspirit baby communication
through hypnosis, this issomething that I facilitate and
it is incredibly beautiful.
I've done several.
I've been calling themmother-baby connection sessions,
(57:32):
where I have facilitatedconnection between mothers and
babies either mothers that aretrying to conceive and they have
not yet conceived, or motherswho have conceived and they are
wanting to communicate withtheir baby or babies before they
come earth side.
And in these sessions we justlink up and facilitate
(57:57):
communication and receiveinsights and guidance and wisdom
for the things that they want,the things that they need, and
also just guidance for theparents with their lives and
their choices and theirdecisions that they're making.
And these sessions generally.
(58:19):
They just bring so much clarityand peace and hope and
understanding and love.
They are absolutely beautifulto facilitate.
So if you are interested inhaving one of those connection
sessions, just reach out to meeither via Instagram or email if
that's something that calls toyou.
(58:41):
And finally, I just really wantto thank you for listening to
this episode, for taking thetime to hear my story, hear our
story, the story of my familyand baby Henry.
I hope that it has given youhope or inspired you.
I hope it was a bright andmagical part of your day.
(59:04):
If you want to keep in touchwith me and find me elsewhere on
the interwebs, you can find meon Instagram at Holly Fisher
Higgins.
You can also peruse my websiteat hollyfisherhigginscom.
Those are the main places tocome say hi, and I also have a
free clear the crap meditationthat I would encourage you to
(59:28):
download.
This is a fan favoritemeditation for clearing
heaviness, ickiness, stickyvibes, yuckiness.
Whenever you're having one ofthose yuck days.
This is a great thing to listento, to reset and center
yourself and just clear yourenergy.
It's called clear the crap.
(59:49):
I will link it up in the shownotes.
So enjoy those resources anduntil next time, go believe in
you.
I do
Welcome to MindSpeak.
I'm Holly Higgins, ahypnotherapist and a total nerd
when it comes to all thingsholistic mental health.
I'm here to help you tap intothe truth of who you really are.
I'm here to help you tap intothe truth of who you really are.
Beyond trauma, pastconditioning, limiting beliefs,
(00:34):
underneath the baggage, there'sfreedom.
Think of the conversations andideas on this show like
breadcrumbs along the healingpath.
Let's dive in.
Hello, I am so excited torecord today's episode.
This episode has been on myheart for a very long time, and
(00:54):
in this episode I am going totell the story of my son, henry,
and how he was communicatingwith us long before he was born.
Some people refer to thisphenomenon as spirit babies is
usually what it's commonlycalled.
This is when a childcommunicates with you very
(01:15):
clearly before their birth, andso today I'm going to tell the
absolutely magical story ofHenry in spirit baby form,
before he ever came tophysically be on this planet,
and I'm going to preface this bysaying that this is an
extremely personal share.
(01:37):
It's very, very personal to me,but I keep getting the message
that someone or many ones outthere need to hear it, and I
also am recording this because Iwant to keep the full story for
myself in one place and, yes, Icould do that in a journal
entry, but this just feels moreappropriate for me.
(01:59):
And I also want to preface thisby saying that this is
absolutely the most magicalstory of my life.
It is stranger than fiction, itis absolutely wild, and there
are also going to be some sadtopics within this episode
topics like miscarriage andgrief, just to give you a heads
(02:22):
up about that and ultimately,it's an extremely uplifting
story.
But I will warn you that thismay tug on your heartstrings
more than a Hallmark movie.
So just be prepared, and ifyou're sensitive to hearing
about pregnancy or pregnancyloss, that might be a
consideration for you as well,although, in my perspective,
(02:44):
this story is just all abouthope, and I ask that you listen
with an open heart and an openmind, whether or not your belief
systems or ways of looking atthe world align with mine.
If you choose to listen to thisepisode, I just ask that you
remain in a spirit of opennessas you hear it.
(03:05):
So here we go.
Let's start at the verybeginning, or where it makes
sense to start.
My husband and I we have beentogether since 2009.
So a very long time, almost 15years that's a little weird for
me to wrap my mind around andfor the longest time we actually
(03:26):
didn't think that we wantedkids.
We remained somewhat open, butwe were pretty sure in the back
of our minds that we were justgoing to be childless and very
content and happy and focused onour careers and that we didn't
ever really see ourselves havingkids.
Ha ha ha.
And that we didn't ever reallysee ourselves having kids, ha ha
ha.
So we got together in 2009.
(03:49):
And it was either in 2015 or2016.
I went to bed one night and Ihad a dream of a little boy on a
beach.
I was behind him, I was lookingat him, his back was facing me.
I remember he was wearing afloppy sun hat and he was
(04:09):
sitting on the beach playing inthe sand and I looked out and I
could see the water and I couldsee something, you know, in the
distance, kind of like the otherside of the shore or a mountain
range or something.
And I just remember staring atthe back of this little boy.
I couldn't see his face, but Iknew that he was a boy and I
(04:29):
woke up in the morning and itseems like a very simple dream,
and I don't have any way todescribe this, but I was just
covered in chills and I knewthat this was real.
There was just some deepknowing inside of me.
This is my son and this wasreal.
It was somehow different thanany other dream that I'd ever
(04:53):
had and I again I can't tell youwhy or how I knew that this was
real.
I just knew that it was realand for the longest time, this
haunted me, because we didn'tplan on having kids.
It wasn't something that wetalked about, and I just knew
that it was real and it kind offreaked me out and also, I
(05:17):
didn't tell Sean for the longesttime.
So this was 2015, 2016.
I had kept this dream to myselfand it would pop into my
consciousness here and there andI'd just be like, oh yeah, that
wild and crazy dream.
But then in 2019, 2020, westarted talking about the
(05:39):
possibility of having kids.
It started coming into ourconversations just in a really
casual way and at the time I was32 or 33.
And as we were just kind ofstarting to open the door to
maybe this is a possibility, Iwas talking to Sean and I told
him about the dream and come tofind out he had had the exact
(06:04):
same dream.
So that was pretty flooring toboth of us when we realized that
we had had the same dream.
I think he even had it multipletimes and we just never
communicated it with each otherbecause for the longest time,
that just felt like somethingthat we weren't talking about.
And once we found out that wehad had the same dream, that
(06:26):
made things much more real forus and we started kind of
thinking along the lines of,okay, this is gonna happen, but
we just don't know when, andwe're going to trust the timing
on all of this and fast forwardto April 2020.
That was right after March of2020, which is when COVID came
(06:46):
along, april 2020, I was in avery, very deep meditation and I
saw this picture in my mind'seye and, just to give you a
little preface for this, I wasin my husband's office, and in
his office he has a photo an oldphoto of him and his family,
(07:07):
and so it's his mom and his dadstanding beside each other, and
then, under his mom and his dad,are him and his sister, so his
dad has his arms on his sister'sshoulders and Sean's mom has
her hands on Sean's shoulders.
So just think of it as twoparents and their two children,
(07:31):
boy and girl, are standingunderneath them and their hands
are on their shoulders andthey're standing there and
they're smiling at the camera.
So, anyway, I'm in this deepmeditation and I see this photo
in my mind's eye of Sean and hisfamily.
And then, right underneath Sean, right underneath his hands, I
(07:56):
saw the image of a little boyappear underneath Sean's hands,
and then I heard the wordscontinuing the paternal lineage.
So you can imagine Sean's dadis there, and then Sean is there
, and then, underneath Sean'shands, underneath this little
boy, is an even littler boycontinuing the paternal lineage.
(08:22):
And I saw this little boyappear and I now know that this
little boy was my son and ofcourse I knew then.
But reflecting back on theimage I saw now I'm like, oh
yeah, that indeed is and wasHenry appearing underneath Sean
in my mind's eye and in additionto the phrase continuing the
(08:45):
paternal lineage, I also justhad this instant awareness of
this is always why you see thenumber two.
He communicates with youthrough twos.
Now, if you're a longtimelistener or you go back in the
episode archive a while you'llknow that I have an episode on
(09:07):
repeating numbers, or angelnumbers, and I talk about 222
and 444 and other numbers thatI've had throughout my life.
And in this meditation I gotthe insight that Henry, who was
then my spirit baby, who wasthen my spirit baby, had been
(09:28):
communicating with me throughthe number two for a very long
time.
So at this point, we've hadmany magical things happen.
We've had the dream, we've hadthe vision of the photo, I've
gotten the knowledge that hecommunicates with me through
twos, and Sean and I continuedto talk about pregnancy, but we
were waiting for the right time.
It just didn't feel like theright time yet, and in September
(09:49):
2020, we moved to Tennessee,and a couple months after we
moved in I think it was aboutNovember 2020, I did a hypnosis
session with my husband, sean.
I don't often do hypnosissessions with him simply because
he's my spouse and it's usuallybetter for a spouse to do their
inner work with.
You know someone who's unbiased, but I do occasionally do
(10:12):
hypnosis sessions for him and Idon't even recall exactly what
the session was for, but in thatsession, I did a future
progression with him, and what afuture progression is is when
you're in hypnosis, instead oftaking someone back in time,
which is what we usually do, weusually go back in time to find
(10:36):
the root cause of issues andchallenges.
I'll take someone forward intime and I'll ask them usually
to land in a scene that willgive them hope and perspective
and clarity and just reassuranceabout their future.
So, anyway, we did a futureprogression and in that future
(10:58):
progression, sean saw a littleboy in my office upstairs and in
this vision that he had, thislittle boy was about four or
five years old, he was wearing arobot t shirt and he was hiding
under my desk and saying Mommy,mommy, you can't catch me.
Mommy, mommy, you can't catch me.
And Sean also noticed that allover my office there were these
(11:23):
crayon drawings of birds, andnot even in my office, but just
all over the house.
He had this awareness thatthere were these drawings of
birds everywhere, and he gotthis message and hypnosis from
our spirit baby Henry, wheneveryou see a bird, think of me.
And so that was really, reallysignificant.
(11:46):
And Sean came out of thathypnosis just in absolute awe
and filled with love, and alsome being there to facilitate it.
Both of us were just incomplete awe over the visions
and the messages that he hadreceived while in hypnosis.
(12:06):
So, reminding you of thetimeline, that happened in
November 2020.
And so more time passes andwe're kind of planning and
talking about the ideal time,and as more time passes, the
sense of urgency also increases,not like a frantic urgency, but
(12:28):
we could just feel him hoveringaround us in a very palpable
way and we just started feelinglike, okay, okay, I think it's
time, I think it's time, okay, Ithink it's time, I think it's
(12:50):
time.
So, flash forward to August22nd 2021.
It was a full moon and it alsohappened to be a blue moon,
which is rare.
A blue moon is when there aretwo full moons in one month.
So it was August 22nd 2021.
And that date felt reallysignificant because I knew that
Henry had been communicating tous in twos.
And so, august 22nd, I thoughtthis date is very, very
(13:11):
significant.
And it also just so happenedthat I was ovulating and so one
morning we were intimate, we didthe deed, and then I just felt
in my body that it happened.
I just had this feeling like ithappened.
I can't explain it.
There was just this whoosh ofenergy that came over me and I
(13:37):
just knew in my core that I hadconceived.
And so later that morning wewent outside, on the front porch
, to have coffee and we werejust having a slow, leisurely
morning and once we sat downoutside, there were hundreds,
(13:58):
honestly, if not 1000s, of birdsthat flooded into our front
pasture.
Our front porch overlooks thisbig open pasture and you could
just hear the birds.
They were blackbirds of acertain kind.
They may have just beenblackbirds, I don't know exactly
what kind of birds they were,but there were hundreds, if not
thousands of them, and they justflooded in to the front pasture
(14:22):
and we both remembered thatcommunication that we had
received when he said wheneveryou see a bird, think of me.
And here we are looking outover the field and there are
thousands of birds.
And I just had this, knowingthat I had conceived.
And then I also remember goinginside after we'd finished our
(14:44):
coffee and I opened up Instagramand the very first thing in my
feed was a picture of the fullmoon from a friend of mine who
lives in Australia and her babyboy was looking out the window
and pointing at the full moon,and I think at the time her son
may have been one and a half orsomething like that.
(15:06):
So, yeah, I opened my Instagramapp to see this little boy
pointing at the moon and I justthought oh my gosh, oh my gosh,
this has happened, this is it.
And so then we waited.
If you have ever been on aconception journey, you know
that that two-week wait betweenconception and being able to get
(15:29):
a positive pregnancy test, orbeing able to read a pregnancy
test it is absolute torture.
But anyway, fast forward twoweeks.
I took a pregnancy test inearly September and it was
positive and I was absolutelyoverjoyed.
We had gotten all those signsthat this was it and this was
(15:51):
the time.
And it happened.
It happened, and we were justso elated and for the longest
time we referred to our son,even though we knew we wanted to
name him Henry.
We called him baby H Because wewe always had these impressions
that he was a boy, but wewanted to be safe.
(16:13):
We didn't want to, you know,always be referring to a boy if,
in fact, I had conceived a girl, just out of respect for the
growing baby.
So we called the baby baby H.
And one day, a little bit lateron, I was on a hike by myself
and I just said out loud in theforest.
(16:36):
I said baby H, if you can hearme, show me a feather.
And as I was wrapping up thathike and heading back to my car,
I noticed on the trail,directly in the middle of the
trail, in front of me, there wasthis beautiful blue bluebird
feather, this small, beautifulblue feather, and I bent down
(17:02):
and I picked it up and I savedit and I just felt such a strong
presence of love as I bent downand I picked up this feather
Yet again, more confirmation.
So baby H was with me and babyH could hear me.
And so a couple weeks later mymom came to stay with us for a
(17:22):
little bit.
She was living in Arkansas atthe time and she'd brought along
with her a lot of photos, oldphoto books and mementos from my
childhood.
And one night I was goingthrough the old photo books and
I came across my baby braceletfrom the hospital.
So I was looking at my babybracelet and I noticed that on
(17:46):
my little baby bracelet from thehospital, 222, the number 222
was in my patient number as aninfant and I just got chills.
I was like, wow, how uncanny isit that baby H has been
(18:06):
communicating with me throughtwos and these numbers were
actually on my baby bracelet asan infant in the hospital.
I just thought how uncanny isthat.
So we fast forward a little bitmore that.
(18:28):
So we fast forward a little bitmore.
And it's late September.
I must have been about sevenweeks along at the time and I
was up in my office I was havinga meeting with a client and
then I came downstairs and Itook a bathroom break and I
noticed that I had some spottingand I started to get really
concerned and really panicky andI called my midwife and she
said oh, you know, this canhappen, don't worry about it,
(18:51):
just take it easy, just rest.
It should hopefully go away.
Get back in touch with me andcall me if it doesn't go away.
And the spotting did kind ofdie down.
But by the next day I ended uphaving a heavy bleed and I
called my midwife and she toldme you know, at this point you
need to go to the hospital.
(19:12):
And that was a really, really,really scary time for us.
We were not prepared for it, wewere not expecting it.
My heart just absolutely sank.
I was in tears on the way tothe hospital.
My heart just absolutely sank.
I was in tears on the way tothe hospital and when we got to
the hospital, I checked intoregistration before sitting down
in the waiting room and I gotmy hospital bracelet, my patient
(19:34):
bracelet, and it had thenumbers 2222 on it and my
husband and I both saw that andwe just felt like, okay, this is
potentially horrible and yetthis feels like a sign that
everything is going to be okay.
(19:56):
And I was in really, reallyhorrible physical pain.
It was awful.
I was in the hospital for mostof the evening.
I think I can't remember when Icame home.
I think it was later in theevening and there are some
details about the physicalprocess and what happened and
(20:20):
what didn't happen and waitingto find out exactly what
happened that aren't exactlyrelevant to this episode.
But essentially, what happenedis I naturally had a miscarriage
, so I didn't have to be inducedfor a miscarriage or any
anything like that.
No DNC or anything like that.
I had a natural miscarriagethat I honestly probably could
(20:44):
have stayed home for, but I wasso panicked at the time that I
chose to go to the hospital andso, anyway, there there are
details about the physicality ofall of that that aren't
necessarily relevant to themessage that I want to share
today, but the short of it isthat I was in a whole lot of
(21:04):
physical pain Interestingly way,way, way more pain during my
early miscarriage than I endedup having at my eventual birth.
I think that is reallyinteresting, and something that
I don't see talked about veryoften is that my very early
(21:24):
miscarriage was much morephysically painful than my
actual full-term birth of myhealthy baby.
I just think that's sofascinating.
But it does make a lot of sense,because the miscarriage was not
something that I was planningfor.
It was very emotionallychallenging and difficult for me
(21:46):
, and so in a lot of ways, Ithink it makes sense in that
regard.
But if you just look at thephysicality of it, it's it's not
what you would expect.
So, anyway, we get home thatnight, we are exhausted and
heartbreaking and we get homeand we're walking in the door
(22:07):
and we see a feather right onour doorstep and it took our
breath away, because I hadalready told Sean about the
feathers.
I had told him about, you know,all the signs that I had
encountered along this journeyand we saw that feather and it
took our breath away and we werestill heartbroken.
(22:28):
We were still heartbroken butwe also felt like, okay, we are
being heard, we are being guided.
There is a greater plan afootin all of this that might not
make sense to our earthly minds.
So we get home and I decide thatI want to watch documentaries
(22:50):
on near-death experiencesbecause those are very
comforting to me.
I'm very fascinated bynear-death experiences in
general stories of people whohave died, gone to the other
side and come back.
They're very comforting to me,they're very fascinating to me
(23:12):
and in my opinion, there are alot of crossovers also with what
people report in pre-birthexperiences, accounts of
pre-birth communications.
(23:32):
So I decided, hey, I'm supersad, I just want to sit on the
couch and I want to watchdocumentaries about near-death
experiences.
So I turn one on and a lot ofthese have really low production
budgets and they're supercheesy, but I love them anyway.
So I turn one on and a littlebit into the documentary there's
(23:57):
this older woman that comes onand she's wearing this very, uh,
very eccentric garb let's putit that way this very eccentric
clothing, and she has this giantfeather lapel pin, this giant
lapel pin on her jacket orwhatever it was that she was
(24:19):
wearing and it's a feather.
And I just thought to myselfand I said to Sean are you
kidding me?
Like we get home and there's afeather on our doorstep, and now
I'm strongly drawn to watchthis documentary and within the
first five minutes of thedocumentary there's this lady
wearing a massive feather lapelpin.
(24:40):
So, even though I was intremendous pain and tremendous
grief pin, so even though I wasin tremendous pain and
tremendous grief, there werethese messages coming from the
divine that were holding me.
And we got up the next morningand I was still in really severe
pain and Sean opened the doorto find yet another feather
(25:02):
right on our doorstep.
And this was feeling uncanny bythen.
And not only were we findingand seeing all of these signs,
but we just felt this really,really palpable presence around
us, as if he was hovering aroundand just desperately trying to
send us these messages of peaceand reassurance.
(25:25):
So, yeah, another feather righton the doorstep.
And later that morning I decidedto go out to the hammock and
sit in the hammock and just getsome sunshine and try to just
breathe and ground myself.
So I went out and I sat on thehammock and I was looking down
(25:45):
our driveway and I was justgrieving and mourning and riding
the waves of pain that werecoming over me and I noticed at
the other end of the driveway Isaw this balloon that was
blowing about.
It looked like a balloon fromyou know a party or something
(26:05):
that had blown onto our propertyand it was just kind of
flip-flopping and floatingaround and I just sat in the
hammock and I watched it and Iremember thinking to myself how
ironic and sad and obnoxious isit that there is this blatant
(26:27):
symbol of celebration that showsup in my yard on a day when I
am in some of the deepest griefin my life.
It just felt like this cosmicmiddle finger to have this
symbol of celebration be in myyard flitting about when I am
(26:50):
having such a horrible time.
So I'm laying there, really,really annoyed at this balloon,
and I just try to ignore it andI'm laying there staring up at
the sky and then, out of thecorner of my eye, I see the
balloon again and the balloon iskind of blowing toward me and
making its way toward me like a,like a little trash tumbleweed
(27:13):
and eventually it blows right upbeside me, right up beside my
hammock, and I pick it up and Ilook at it and it says happy
birthday.
And there's this giant rainbowon it, a giant rainbow, and it
says happy birthday.
And I was just really, reallymad.
(27:34):
I was so mad because the firstthing that crossed my mind was
my baby that was just in my bodyis not going to have a proper
birthday, and that fills me withgrief and I'm so angry that
this stupid symbol of happinessand celebration showed up to
(27:57):
greet me today, and so I set itdown beside the hammock.
I didn't feel like taking it tothe trash or doing anything
with it, I just sat it downbeside the hammock and I just
sobbed for a little while.
It just was not something thatI wanted to see.
It felt very rude, like I said,it felt like a cosmic metal
(28:20):
finger and I stared up at thesky and I was.
I was just in my grief and thenI noticed the balloon started
blowing away and it was blowingand tumbling and it made its way
from the hammock, where I was,all the way to the front door of
(28:43):
our house, and my husband wasin the house at the time.
He was inside of the house andI was out in the yard and this
balloon blows up to the frontdoor.
Blows up to the front door somuch so that it appears to be
pressing itself against ourfront door, as if it is
literally trying to make its wayinto the house.
(29:04):
And then it started kind ofblowing back and forth and
dancing back and forth and likehitting the door, and I got this
sense that it was knocking onthe door and it was just moving
in these really uncanny waysthat didn't appear to be
necessarily driven by thepattern of the wind.
(29:25):
And so I'm sitting here watchingthis balloon in consternation
and then I get a, I get a reallygood view of the balloon again
and what's on it, and happybirthday with a rainbow.
And then I just hear the phrasein my head rainbow baby,
rainbow baby.
And I stop for a minute and Ithink, oh, my goodness, this is
(29:49):
another message from baby H,from our spirit baby.
This is another message.
And so my attitude about thisballoon changed in an instant
when I realized what the messagewas.
And if you're unfamiliar withthe term rainbow baby, what
rainbow baby means is it is thebaby that you have, the baby
(30:12):
that you have, the baby that youbring earthside successfully
after a loss, after a pregnancyloss that's the simplest way
that I can think of to describeit.
And so then I chose to look atthe balloon with the message
happy birthday, rainbow baby.
(30:34):
So I knew it was a message thatour baby was coming.
It just wasn't coming in thebody that I had been carrying,
and I still have that balloon.
What I initially thought wasgoing to be a very obnoxious
piece of trash has turned intoone of my most prized
possessions that I still haveand I cherish.
(30:58):
And anyway, after the balloonincident, the weeks that
followed they were very, veryhard.
Even though we were receivingall of these signs, we were
still in deep grief and we werein shock.
It was just a really, reallychallenging time for us.
But still, the feathers keptshowing up multiple times per
(31:23):
day on our doorstep, andsometimes in random places.
But they were showing up withsuch persistence that Sean and I
started asking each other, likeare you putting these here?
Are you sure you're not puttingthese here?
Do you promise you're notputting these here?
To just to make me feel better?
Like, do you pinky swear?
Then we both swore up and down.
(31:44):
We were not putting thefeathers on the doorstep.
They were just showing up there, and we do live on a farm and
we do have chickens, but themajority of these I'd say 90% of
these were not chicken feathers, they were just small gray
feathers.
They look like they're from amorning dove, just these small
(32:04):
gray feathers.
And so the chickens weren't anexcuse either.
These feathers, they were justshowing up.
And I also remember over thosenext couple of weeks we saw a
really, really big rainbow inthe sky.
We kept seeing 222 everywherewe went.
(32:25):
I found some golf balls in myyard that had the number 22 on
them.
I found multiple golf balls inmy yard with the number 22.
On them.
I found multiple golf balls inmy yard with the number 22.
And as the weeks went on, we hadamassed basically this little
(32:47):
shrine that I kept in the windowwith just dozens and dozens of
feathers and receipts with 222and labels with 222, just all of
these things that we hadcollected that had 222 on them,
as well as the balloon.
The balloon was part of thelittle shrine that we had
amassed over those weeks.
And you know that fall and thatwinter things, even though we
(33:10):
were getting all of thesebeautiful symbols and signs.
Things just felt really darkand I remember my husband and I
were so depressed that we sleptout in the living room on the
living room floor, I think wedragged our mattresses out there
and we just had a slumber partyin the living room every night
and we watched TV every nightjust for a sense of fun and
(33:32):
novelty, because we just neededsomething to break up our
routine and change ourenvironment to make it feel more
comforting, just because of howdevastated we were.
And if you've been through apregnancy loss or any kind of
deep grief like that, I'm surethat you can relate.
(33:54):
And time went on and I didn'tfeel ready to try again and I
was starting to have fears aboutmy own fertility and I was
continuing to receive thesesigns, the feathers and the
numbers.
But after a couple of weeks Iwould say after about two to
(34:14):
three weeks post miscarriage,post pregnancy loss the signs,
they feel like they started toslow down and then in December
2021, this is roughly threemonths after the pregnancy loss
I did a future self hypnosisloss.
(34:40):
I did a future self hypnosis.
You know I talked about earlierin the episode.
I did a hypnosis session withmy husband, sean, and I did a
future progression on him.
This was similar to what I didwith him, but it was basically
more of a guided meditationexperience.
This is actually the main thingthat inspired me to create
Future Glimpse.
If you have heard me talk aboutmy Future Glimpse program,
(35:02):
which is available on my websiteas an instant download, it's, I
think it's, like a 35 minutemeditation that takes you into a
future progression so that youcan have experiences, meaningful
experiences of your own when itcomes to glimpsing into the
future.
That's what I did.
(35:22):
I did a future self meditationand I call these future glimpses
now and I took myself one yearinto the future.
So keep in mind, with thetimeline, this is December 2021.
I'm doing a future selfmeditation and I am quote,
unquote time traveling one yearinto the future, and this
(35:44):
meditation to December 2022.
And I have this vision of alittle boy in a little baby
swing, a little infant baby boyin a baby swing in front of the
Christmas tree, and he had darkhair and these big sparkly eyes,
(36:10):
and I just saw me and Seansitting in the living room on
the living room rug in front ofthis baby swing, and the baby
swing is just moving back andforth and we were looking at
this little boy with dark hairand it was such a clear vision
(36:30):
and it came with so much love.
I just felt myself surroundedby love as I saw this little
baby boy in the infant swing.
And I also remember having thisknowing, because I was.
I was looking at this visionand this image and just taking
it all in.
And I just had this knowing inmy head of oh, he's three months
old, he's three months old,it's December 2022.
(36:55):
And he's three months old.
And I came out of thatmeditation and I did the math
and, you know, counted up thenine months or whatever, and I
realized, okay, if he's threemonths old in December 2022,
that would mean he would have tobe born in September of 2022.
(37:15):
And I had really mixed feelingsabout this, about this vision
that I had in the future glimpse, future self meditation,
because the image was so, so, soreal and yet I also wanted to
protect my heart and I didn'twant to get my hopes up.
So I wanted so badly to believeit was real and simultaneously,
(37:40):
I was afraid to believe it wasreal because I just didn't want
to get my hopes up.
And so, doing that math,realizing that he would be born
in September of 2022, I thought,well, if that's true, then
we're going to have to conceivereally soon.
(38:01):
And I know it was only onepregnancy loss, but I had
spiraled into a pretty darkplace and I had been having
doubts about my fertility and Iwas worrying and thinking to
myself oh my gosh, like what, if?
What if we can't even conceive?
Like what if?
What if this isn't even goingto happen?
You know, grief can really takea stronghold on you and even
(38:23):
with all of these beautifuldivine signs and visions and
experiences, I still had doubtand I still had fear.
But we did try again that monthand we waited again, that
torturous wait, which is evenmore complicated because now
(38:44):
it's layered with these emotionsand the experience of loss.
But then, on January 12, 2024,I had a positive pregnancy test
and it was such a mix ofemotions Because when you find
(39:06):
out you're pregnant after you'vehad a pregnancy loss, it's.
It's tough because you want tocelebrate, you want to get
excited, you want to get yourhopes up, but you're also not
naive anymore because you'veexperienced loss and there's a
sense of wanting to guard yourheart.
So when I took this pregnancytest, sean was outside.
(39:29):
He was working on something onthe homestead.
I was inside and I knew I couldnot keep it from him for very
long at all, nor did I want to.
So he was outside and I decidedto make it really special and I
took all of the feathers thatwe had gathered and amassed, all
(39:53):
of the feathers that had beensent to us after the loss that
we kept on our little magicalshrine.
I took all of the feathers andI made a trail from the front
door all the way back to ourback bedroom and our closet.
And I made the trail back tothe closet and then I just went
and I hid in the closet and Iwaited for him to come, in which
(40:18):
it could have been hours or itcould have been minutes, but
fortunately I didn't have tohide too long, I think within a
few minutes he happened to comein the house and he followed the
trail of feathers all the wayback to the back closet and I
got to show him the positivetest and he was overjoyed and we
(40:40):
just cried and hugged in thecloset.
I still get emotional thinkingabout it, um, because not only
was I nervous about my fertilitybut I think my husband, sean,
was even more nervous andworried about would it be
possible for us to conceiveagain, which I know some of you
might be listening to this andthinking oh my gosh, you had one
(41:01):
pregnancy loss, like, of course, you know things are still
healthy and viable, but ifyou've been through a loss, you
know what your mind can do, inthe places it can go, and we had
developed a lot of fears inthat time, and so we sat in the
closet and we cried and wehugged and we were just
(41:22):
surrounded by all of thesefeathers and it was just a
really, really special, magical,beautiful moment.
And after the initial burst ofexcitement started to cool down,
I remembered the future selfexercise that I did back in
December and I realized, oh,like I need, I need to do the
(41:53):
math, due date calculation, andI realized he would be born
likely sometime in September2022, which would mean that by
December 2022, the vision that Ihad he would be exactly three
months old, which was themessage that I had received in
(42:14):
that vision.
And so I just, I just knew itwas him.
I knew he had beencommunicating with us all along.
I knew that he had initiallybeen with us in that first
pregnancy and then, for whateverreason, he needed to change
plans.
He needed to change reason, heneeded to change plans, he
(42:40):
needed to change meat suits, heneeded to change the body that
he was going to be born into.
And he did a little switcherooand I just knew that he came
back to us and I just had suchpeace that everything would be
okay and that I was going tomeet him.
Now that didn't mean I didn'thave any anxiety during my
(43:01):
pregnancy.
I definitely did.
I definitely did slip intomoments of being anxious,
especially during that firsttrimester, just with the just
kind of, with the PTSD of goingthrough a loss.
I did find myself anxious andworried, but with all of those
(43:22):
signs to cling to, I was able tousually pretty quickly anchor
myself back into peace andtrusting the process.
And then, after that positivetest in January, the signs that
we were getting the feathers andthe numbers and things like
that, they really seemed to kindof slow down, which initially I
(43:45):
was sad about, because I lovedall of the communication but I
also loved feeling this babygrowing in my belly and just
having having this presenceinside of me.
Um, and so we decided that wewanted to do a gender reveal
(44:06):
because it felt really, reallyimportant for us to know the
gender of the baby.
I know some people they lovewaiting until birth to find out
the gender, but we really,really wanted to know the gender
because all of thesecommunications that we had
gotten over the years, sincegeez 2015 or 2016,.
(44:27):
They had all been really clearvisions and knowings that he
would be a boy.
And so we wanted to do thatgender reveal to find out.
So I took a blood test.
It was like this little at homemail in blood test.
It was really simple.
Oh, it's called sneak peek.
That's the name of the test issneak peek.
So I mailed in and I had theinstructions made in such a way
(44:52):
that the results would be sentto my sister-in-law, sean's
sister, and she would find outand we wouldn't know.
And then we organized a genderreveal party so that it would be
a surprise to me and Sean atthe party and my sister-in-law
was in charge of knowing.
And we set up this really cheesy, cute party theme, uh, where
(45:15):
she was going to fill a chickenegg with either blue or pink
glitter and then Sean and I Ithink she ended up filling up
two eggs, or was it just one?
I think it was just one andSean cracked it.
Yes, it was just one egg.
So she filled up this chickenegg.
I don't know how she actuallyit was a real chicken egg.
(45:38):
I don't know how she got theyolk out of the shell.
I think there's this strangemethod where you can drill like
a tiny hole in an eggshell andthen somehow the yolk and the
white drains out and you canfill the egg with things.
I don't know how she did it.
All I know is that it was areal chicken egg and she filled
it with the appropriate coloredglitter and then we had this
(46:02):
giant stuffed chicken and we satthe giant stuffed chicken on
top of the egg.
So that was the whole part.
The whole party plan is that wewere going to crack these eggs,
this egg.
It was going to have blue orpink glitter and that's how we
were going to find out the sexof our baby.
So one more sign from baby H.
(46:27):
The day before the party orrather it was the night before
the party I had a dream, and sothis, um, this plan was already
in place.
I knew what the theme of theparty was going to be.
I knew the details.
The only details I didn't knowwas the sex of my baby.
And so the night before theparty, I had this very, very
(46:52):
vivid dream that I am watching ahand crack an egg on a bowl and
all of this blue glitter spillsout of the egg.
And I wake up and I'm just like, yeah, yeah, he's a boy.
We're gonna crack the egg andit's gonna be blue.
And this dream was so clear andso vivid and I just had such a
(47:18):
strong knowing.
It was that same feeling that Ihad way back in 2015.
When I had the dream about thelittle boy on the beach, it came
with that same clarity and thatsame knowing.
And the next day we're havingthe party and everyone's
gathered around and most of myfamily thinks it's a girl.
(47:41):
They're very, very insistentthat it's a girl and I think
because I have two nephews andmaybe someone was secretly
hoping for a granddaughter, Idon't know everyone thinks it's
a girl and I'm like, sorry guys,it's a boy.
I just know and I had a dreamand it's a boy.
And anyway, we crack the egg,sean cracks the egg and we watch
(48:03):
in great anticipation and, sureenough.
Out of that egg spills just tonsand tons of blue glitter, and
it was one of the happiestmoments of my life, just because
of all of the signs that we hadreceived.
I would have been happy eitherway, obviously, but it was just
(48:28):
the ultimate confirmation thatall of these signs that I had
received from the dreams to thenumbers, to the feathers, to the
balloon, to the this, to thethat, to the having the dream
about the blue glitter, it wasjust further proof to me that
all of these communications wereabsolutely real, and I was so
(48:53):
overjoyed to know that the soulthat had been communicating with
me so strongly and sopersistently was with me and he
had been speaking to me allalong.
And also I could call him babyHenry now instead of baby H.
So after having that dreamabout cracking, cracking the egg
(49:14):
and it was blue things startedto get a lot quieter as far as
signs went.
I didn't really see a lot offeathers, I just felt like I
couldn't access him, whereasbefore I felt this very strong,
clear, palpable access betweenus and I felt like I could feel
(49:38):
him hovering around me.
And then, while I was pregnantand as he was growing inside of
my body.
I actually felt less access tohim, if that makes sense.
And it was the.
It was the strangest feelingand I was saddened by it for a
while and confused by it.
But come to find out this isactually a pretty normal
(50:00):
phenomenon with people who havestrong communication with their
spirit babies.
This doesn't happen toeverybody, but it's a pretty
common phenomenon that once thevessel has landed and is growing
, so to speak, once the fetus isgrowing, it is actually pretty
common that some of that spiritbaby communication dies down.
(50:22):
And I learned this from Emily,the Medium who I follow and
adore.
I'll link some of her stuff upin the show notes.
She has a book on spirit babiescalled A Cosmic Bond.
I was listening to her podcastrecently and she had mentioned
this phenomenon of thingsgetting quieter once someone is
pregnant.
So once I learned that, thatwas really comforting and
(50:47):
assuring for me, like oh, okay,nothing's wrong, like this.
This just happens when, whenthe body is growing, okay, okay.
And as my pregnancy progressedand as my due date, my guest
date, my guest date drew near, Ialways wondered in the back of
my mind if he would be born onthe 29th of September, because
(51:11):
that was the day that I had thepregnancy loss the year prior
was September 29th and so Ithought how significant would it
be if he was actually born andcame full circle.
And was actually born and cameearthside on September 29th.
How magical would that be.
(51:31):
But it ended up being September22, 2022, which was the fall
equinox, so he was born on thefirst day of fall and his birth
date, if you write it outnumerically, is 9222022.
(51:55):
It's full of twos.
There are four twos, just likethere were on the hospital
bracelets Pretty amazing.
And in his earliest days, whenhe was just a few days old, I
took him outside and I tookphotos of him with the happy
(52:18):
birthday rainbow balloon thathad blown into my yard a year
prior the balloon that I oncethought was annoying trash.
That is now sacred.
I took photos of him laying onthat balloon or near that
balloon.
I don't think I trash.
That is now sacred.
I took photos of him laying onthat balloon or near that
balloon.
I don't think I put him on theballoon.
I took photos of him with theballoon and it was just the
(52:40):
sweetest, sweetest moment.
And he is older now.
I'm glad I am recording thisstory because the more time that
passes, the fuzzier the detailsbecome, and so it feels
important to me now that I'mgetting these details on paper
before, or on paper on audio,before they start to become
(53:03):
fuzzier, because it's reallyimportant to preserve them.
And he's just one and a half,but he already loves birds, as
he alluded to before he cameearthside.
Whenever you see a bird, thinkof me, he already loves birds.
He's obsessed with our chickensand he's also obsessed with any
(53:24):
kind of little bird he sees inthe sky.
He calls the chickens bok bok,and if he sees a bird flying
around, he calls it atweet-tweet.
And he always wants to look athis little picture books and
find all of the birds.
And I just can't wait towitness how this will continue
to evolve as he gets older.
(53:44):
And I wonder, you know, will heremember this?
Will he talk about it?
Will he remember his experiencebefore he came earthside and
all of the signs that he shared?
I don't know, but he's alreadystarting to use quite a few
words, so maybe we will find outone of these days, one of these
(54:12):
days.
And it's nothing that I willever pressure or pester him
about, and it's honestly notsomething that I plan to ask him
about.
I am just going to wait and seeif he ever has anything to say
to me about it At this point.
Just because of all of theexperiences that I've had, I've
read quite a few books on prebirth consciousness, one of
(54:38):
which is called babies arecosmic.
It is an absolutely fascinatingread.
I will link it up in the shownotes.
But what that book talks aboutis accounts of children who
remember pre birth experiences.
So they remember things frombefore they were born, before
they came earthside, and it isthe most beautiful, heartwarming
(55:00):
book and it's stories thatparents have shared of their
young children.
Usually they're about from agestwo to five.
They'll just spontaneouslyshare stories of pre birth
experiences and the details thatthey share are so significant
(55:20):
and uncanny and they'll sharethings that would have been
impossible for them to know Inany other capacity, like they'll
share things about other familymembers or people that have
passed on, et cetera, et cetera,that no adult has ever talked
to them about before.
So if you're interested instories like that, I cannot
(55:42):
recommend the book Babies AreCosmic by Elizabeth and Neil
Carman more highly.
It will give you hope in timesof doubt and grief and it will
inspire awe and wonder wheneveryou need that sort of pick me up
.
So definitely check out thatbook if you've been inspired by
(56:06):
this episode.
Other books that I highlyrecommend on this topic are
Spirit Babies by Walter MakachinI think that's how you
pronounce his name and Imentioned this earlier but A
Cosmic Bond by Emily Green, whoalso goes by Emily the Medium.
(56:26):
These are just a few titlesthat I love and can recommend
highly, and I'll be sure to linkup all of those in the show
notes.
And if you are in a place whereyou are trying to conceive or
you're interested in spirit babycommunication, the most simple
thing that I can recommend it'ssimple but profound is just
(56:50):
asking for a sign, asking foryour spirit baby to show you a
sign that they are there andbeing open to whatever you
receive.
Now, in my case, I said veryspecifically and directly show
me a feather, and that ended upbeing the sign.
But they can come in all sortsof different ways.
(57:11):
So ask for a sign and thennotice what you receive.
And if you are interested inspirit baby communication
through hypnosis, this issomething that I facilitate and
it is incredibly beautiful.
I've done several.
I've been calling themmother-baby connection sessions,
(57:32):
where I have facilitatedconnection between mothers and
babies either mothers that aretrying to conceive and they have
not yet conceived, or motherswho have conceived and they are
wanting to communicate withtheir baby or babies before they
come earth side.
And in these sessions we justlink up and facilitate
(57:57):
communication and receiveinsights and guidance and wisdom
for the things that they want,the things that they need, and
also just guidance for theparents with their lives and
their choices and theirdecisions that they're making.
And these sessions generally.
(58:19):
They just bring so much clarityand peace and hope and
understanding and love.
They are absolutely beautifulto facilitate.
So if you are interested inhaving one of those connection
sessions, just reach out to meeither via Instagram or email if
that's something that calls toyou.
(58:41):
And finally, I just really wantto thank you for listening to
this episode, for taking thetime to hear my story, hear our
story, the story of my familyand baby Henry.
I hope that it has given youhope or inspired you.
I hope it was a bright andmagical part of your day.
(59:04):
If you want to keep in touchwith me and find me elsewhere on
the interwebs, you can find meon Instagram at Holly Fisher
Higgins.
You can also peruse my websiteat hollyfisherhigginscom.
Those are the main places tocome say hi, and I also have a
free clear the crap meditationthat I would encourage you to
(59:28):
download.
This is a fan favoritemeditation for clearing
heaviness, ickiness, stickyvibes, yuckiness.
Whenever you're having one ofthose yuck days.
This is a great thing to listento, to reset and center
yourself and just clear yourenergy.
It's called clear the crap.
(59:49):
I will link it up in the shownotes.
So enjoy those resources anduntil next time, go believe in
you.
I do
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