October 30, 2025 • 32 mins
Start the New Year strong and grow a healthy, thriving youth ministry...if you'd like to work with us, check out GrowYourYouthMinistry.com *** Youth ministry events are such a great way for students to attract new visitors, to reconnect with some students who haven't been attending church recently and a great opportunity for your youth group students to invite friends...but what if your student ministry event is a complete wreck? In this episode, we take a look at 3 (actually 4) mistakes youth pastors commonly make with youth ministry events that can kill their overall momentum and trust with parents & students.
If this helped you rethink your next event, follow the show, share it with a fellow youth leader, and leave a quick review so more youth pastors can find it. Tell us: what’s one change you’ll make before your next event?
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You may also enjoy these episodes:
(#159) Your Youth Group Event Failed...So Now What?
(#217) 5 Vital Tips to Make Your Next Youth Ministry Event a HUGE Success!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (00:00):
Today we're talking about three common mistakes that
(00:02):
youth ministries make with theirevents.
SPEAKER_00 (00:16):
Welcome to the Ministry Coach podcast, where we
give you weekly tips and tacticsto help you fast-track the
growth and health of your youthministry.
My name is Jeff Lascola, andthis is Kristen Lascola.
SPEAKER_01 (00:27):
And I have an update, and then we'll jump into
the episode.
We did our worship nightyesterday.
We had done like an episodeabout how to plan a worship
night.
So we did a student ministriesworship night with high school
and junior high.
And you know, if you've beenlistening to our podcast, I'm a
(00:47):
huge advocate of splittingmiddle school and high school
ministries, and nothing haschanged.
I still am.
However, for this particularevent, it was so amazing because
I realized the high schoolerstaught the junior hires
something about worship, and thejunior hires taught the high
schoolers something aboutworship.
(01:08):
So the junior hires love to jumpand dance and have hand motions.
And there's that song that goes,He pick me up, turn me around,
set my feet on solid ground,whatever.
We have like a whole thing toit.
And every high schooler wasdoing it with us.
(01:28):
And it was, I talked to the highschool worship leader after, and
she was saying she feels likethe hand motions really gave the
high schoolers permission toengage in a fast song, but in a
structured way.
So it's not like I'm out heredoing weird stuff that no one's
doing with me.
But if it's synchronized andwe're all doing it, you get to
(01:50):
be expressive in a synchronizedway so you don't feel like you
stand out.
But then for the slow songs,like the high schoolers are very
used to having rugs in the frontwhere they can get on their
knees and raise their hands andyou know, change up their
posture if they want to.
And we had junior hires on theirknees.
I have never once seen a juniorhire on their knees during one
(02:14):
of my youth group worship nightsor even at camp for that matter.
And they were, and their handswere up, they were holding hands
with each other.
They are like students were likecrying and hugging, and it was
so cool.
So I loved that.
I loved combining, and wesprinkled a couple testimonies
(02:36):
in.
SPEAKER_00 (02:36):
So like I recorded or live?
SPEAKER_01 (02:39):
Yeah, recorded.
So we recorded one of our juniorhigh leaders and one of our high
school leaders, and they sharedpart of their like testimony.
And it wasn't necessarily like,here's how I came to faith, but
more like, here's currentlywhere I'm at with God and what
he's been doing in my life.
One of our leaders lost herbrother, her twin brother.
(03:02):
And so she like was just talkingabout how God's shown up for her
in that situation, and our otherleader, she was kind of
reflecting back on where she wasas a Christian when she was in
high school, and how like Godhas shown himself like into her
adult years and how she's becomeso much more confident in her
(03:24):
faith.
I did a little devo on theHebrew word yada.
It was like a worship word usedin the Psalms, means like your
arms spread open.
Our high school pastor did thecommunion message, and it was
amazing.
And then the students all wentin the back and got communion.
We played 17 songs, and when theworship team said we're done,
(03:50):
the students weren't having it,and they kept chanting, one more
song, one more song, and theywere exhausted.
And I see the band like look ateach other, and then they went
back to the beginning and redidthe first song, and it was
amazing.
I think the kids would have goneall night.
I think it was an hour and ahalf.
It felt like 20 minutes.
(04:10):
It was amazing, but it justshows me they could have gone
two hours because we ended upthe event was supposed to be an
hour and a half, and it ended uplike an hour 45 because they
wouldn't quit.
So it was so, so, so cool.
So if you've done your worshipnight like we've been talking
about, I would love to hear anyvariations to that that you
(04:32):
found were really helpfulbecause I got a text from my
worship leader today, and shewas like, We're doing this
again.
SPEAKER_00 (04:38):
I'm like, absolutely.
This is also a standalone night,not on a normal um youth group
night.
SPEAKER_01 (04:44):
Yeah, we did it.
Um, we don't have youth groupSunday night.
So we did it Sunday evening six,six to seven thirty.
I didn't everyone's like, Didyou do that on purpose?
SPEAKER_00 (04:54):
I'm like, no, some sometimes six Did you put the
number seven after six onpurpose?
SPEAKER_01 (05:00):
Like sometimes it just exists that way without us
having to be, you know, thosepeople.
I don't know, TikTok people,whatever.
SPEAKER_00 (05:10):
This is like I feel like a really long TikTok social
media trend.
SPEAKER_01 (05:14):
I know.
We're in like sheesh, like thatwas here for five minutes, and I
loved that one.
It was funny.
Why?
Why six seven?
No one knows what it means.
SPEAKER_00 (05:24):
Nobody I think because it keeps coming up so
consistently.
SPEAKER_01 (05:28):
I know it's from that song, and then the
basketball thing.
SPEAKER_00 (05:32):
Because there's so many times this number six and
seven kind of go together, andthen so I think it just
perpetuates this.
Yeah, you know, hopefully nextyear by this time it will be
gone.
SPEAKER_01 (05:41):
Well, I was telling our seven-year-old the other
day, because she's now sayingsix, seven.
I said, Well, do you know whysix is afraid of seven?
Because seven, eight, nine, oh,and you know, that was my
generation.
So OG of the classics are stillgood.
Yeah.
So we normally don't banter likethat before we get into the and
(06:05):
I hate when podcasts do thatbecause I'm like, just come on,
I'm on time crunch.
SPEAKER_00 (06:09):
45 minutes later, point number one.
I know.
SPEAKER_01 (06:11):
Okay, point number one.
So today we're talking aboutthree common mistakes youth
ministries make with events.
And I made one of themyesterday.
So I have to confess when we getto that one.
But number one, not being readyon time.
Oof.
It's a bad look that whenstudents and heaven forbid,
(06:34):
parents are arriving, the youthpastors know where to be found
because they are running arounddoing all kinds of things that
should have been done an hourago.
And it just looks like we're notready for you.
I'm not ready to receive you.
You can just kind of stand overthere while I put up the
streamers or whatever you'redoing.
Streamers.
(06:55):
Who would put streamers up?
I don't know.
SPEAKER_00 (06:57):
Why?
For the birthday party.
SPEAKER_01 (06:59):
Kids would just tear them down, anyways.
True story.
One time I set up all thesecolor-coordinated balloons for
an event we were having, and Iwas so proud.
Helium and everything.
And this kid just grabs a penand then just jumps from one to
the other and pops them allbefore we had even started.
And I look at him and I'm like,my face must have been like
(07:22):
ghostly white.
And I'm like, What are youdoing?
SPEAKER_00 (07:26):
He's like, Or angrily red.
SPEAKER_01 (07:27):
I don't know.
I'm like, I still remember thejust utter confusion of like,
we've decorated this party foryou guys, and your job is to
jump to each balloon.
SPEAKER_00 (07:41):
But that's such a junior high response, though, to
be like, Why did you do that?
I don't know.
SPEAKER_01 (07:45):
Yeah, they don't know.
SPEAKER_00 (07:46):
Innate.
SPEAKER_01 (07:47):
They're like, I saw something that needed to be
destroyed, so I destroyed it.
That's my job.
I am.
SPEAKER_00 (07:52):
But it's not even that much thought into it.
It's like literally, I don'tknow.
My my being just forces me to dothese things.
SPEAKER_01 (07:59):
My being.
Oh man, the voices.
Okay, so what is the vibe?
Here's the question (08:07):
what is the vibe when somebody shows up?
Is it still we're in the middleof the hustle and bustle and you
know, putting up the balloons orI don't know.
SPEAKER_00 (08:17):
Screamers.
SPEAKER_01 (08:17):
Streamers, getting the candles and the birthday
cake, whatever you're up to.
Or are you ready and present?
And that's the thing I think alot of youth pastors struggle
with.
We're like the movers andshakers, we're getting things
done, we're getting thingsready.
It's very hard before ourprogram for us to be present.
We're doing one last tech check.
(08:39):
We're looking at our notes.
We're doing, you know, likethere's always some little last
minute thing.
But I would really challenge youto be ready, ready to receive
families, parents, students,your own leaders, you know?
And depending on the event,maybe it's going to be harder or
easier for you to do.
But I would really encourage youto like if your program starts,
(09:03):
let's say, at seven o'clock,let's be ready at 6:30.
Like, you know, it's not like,well, I have until seven
o'clock.
Well, I don't know what yourlike youth group kids are like,
but mine show up so early.
Like a half an hour before youthgroup would be like the
deadline, absolute last.
(09:25):
They just come so early.
So if you have kids coming earlyand hoping to kind of hang out,
not that you have to accommodatesomeone an hour before.
Sometimes there's a kid there,and I'm like, I can't like just
sit with you.
Like this is it's five o'clock,you know.
But I think it's reasonable tosay 30 minutes prior to your
(09:46):
program starting, you should berelaxed, done, ready to receive
people.
And then number two, a mistakecommonly made by youth
ministries with events is nothaving enough adults at the
event.
And having enough adults kind ofhelps solve the first problem we
were talking about of like youbeing ready.
(10:08):
Well, you can't be the only onewho's there to greet students
and parents if they havequestions and new kids and all
of that.
Um, I'm so proud of my volunteerteam because when we have an
event, they are on the hunt.
They like a few of them areextremely good at spotting the
confused parent.
(10:30):
Like they're very good atspotting the new kid who doesn't
know what to do.
They're very good at spottinglittle like questionable
behavior pockets.
Junior hires are so bad athiding their bad behavior, you
know, because they keep lookingover their shoulder and you're
like, I wonder what you'redoing.
(10:50):
And they'll be like, No, whoa,no.
And I'm like, why'd you keeplooking at me?
Like, you don't just look at mewith your phone out in a huddle
when you're texting your mom,you know.
That's the other thing theyalways say.
And I finally said, then tellyour mom, like during sermon,
hey, put your phone away.
It's my mom.
I'm like, then tell your mom notto text during the sermon.
(11:12):
Tell her to wait.
Uh it's reasonable.
She can go 30 minutes, right?
But it's like their behaviorbetrays them.
So if you have leaders outthere, they can usually spot
that stuff before something goesdown, you know?
And you always want to haveleaders spread out too.
Another thing is like if therearen't enough leaders at your
(11:34):
event and people are gettinginto trouble and nobody's around
to see it, it can be really likecan make you look really bad
when you go to talk to a parent,like, well, nobody saw, you
know.
And obviously, if they're verycommitted to hiding it, they
will.
However, it I don't want it tobe for the reason, well, we
(11:56):
didn't have enough supervision.
You know, so supervision, havingenough leaders for that, but
also having enough leaders justfor relationship.
Like, there's a lot of kids thatlike need an adult to kind of
come alongside, like, hey, Irecognize you.
What's your name?
Oh, yeah, you're blah, blah,blah.
What grade are you in?
Oh, here, let me introduce youto these people.
(12:18):
Or do you know what we're doingtonight?
Or do you know where to put yourstuff?
You know, it's almost like theselike hosts everywhere, like kind
of helping the night, you know,move.
SPEAKER_00 (12:28):
Especially if those kids are new.
SPEAKER_01 (12:29):
Yeah.
And then like relationship justfor their own kids, like their
own small group kids, likehanging out, having a
relationship with them, gettingto know their friend if they
bring a friend, but and thenjust enough leaders to help
things run smoothly.
Like, say you're doing an eventwith transportation, having a
leader take attendance each timekids get on and off the bus to
(12:53):
make sure we didn't leaveanybody uh in and out or
Chick-fil-A, you know.
Um having leaders help with likeluggage, like that's a really
big one.
So that like if you're goingsomewhere and you need to pack
their bags or helping leaders orhaving leaders help, like when
we do big events, like and wetake attendance in a different
(13:16):
way, they take attendance forthat.
So it's just nice to have morehands, more eyes, more ears, and
people know what they're doing.
So I've always said thiseverything is better, whether
that's church, youth group,camps, events, retreats,
whatever it is.
It's always better with moreleaders, provided you have the
(13:37):
right leaders.
Because if it's the wrongleaders, maybe it's worse.
But all my leaders are 10 out of10.
So I'm like, how it'sexponential.
Every single one that shows up,we get 10 times better.
So yeah, make sure anytime youplay an event, tell your
leaders, I'd love for you tocome.
If it's something that theymight not want to go to, try to
(13:58):
sweeten the deal for themsomehow, you know, buy them
dinner or have leader snacksavailable somewhere, or you
know, some kind of leader perkthat is gonna make it like all
right, we're gonna sleep on thefloor, but maybe we'll get a
burrito out of it.
I don't know.
Just always try to find ways tothank them to make it special to
(14:22):
appreciate the extra effortthey're going to.
So number three, who a mistake.
SPEAKER_00 (14:30):
Is this the one you made?
SPEAKER_01 (14:33):
No.
Oh, I'll tell you the mistake Imade.
SPEAKER_00 (14:38):
Welcome to the five years.
SPEAKER_01 (14:39):
It was gonna be number four, and I took it out
because your title said threemistakes.
SPEAKER_00 (14:44):
I can change those are arbitrary names.
Okay, guys.
SPEAKER_01 (14:48):
Jeff said I could do four, so maybe I'll do one more.
Okay, well, bonus number four.
SPEAKER_00 (14:58):
Secret menu.
SPEAKER_01 (15:00):
I'm getting to that.
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (15:02):
Are you?
unknown (15:03):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (15:04):
Jeff overselling and underdelivering.
Oh my gosh.
Okay.
This is tale as old as time.
Where youth pastors, when theyannounce things, they act like
this is gonna be the coolestthing you've ever been to.
Like it's gonna be so epic.
SPEAKER_00 (15:25):
Winter blast 2025.
SPEAKER_01 (15:28):
Now, I hey, I'm not opposed to marketing.
I'm not opposed to making thingslike hyping stuff up.
Right.
However, I am against hypingsomething up and then it not
being anything close to what yousold them.
That they will lose trust in youpretty quick and watch your camp
(15:52):
and event attendance shrink.
Tell them what it is.
Sometimes it's not in yourcontrol.
One thing that happens to us allthe time is the place we use for
winter camp always sayshorseback riding, paintball, and
then that's what the kidsexpect.
And then we get there and we'relike, oh, that ride's broken,
(16:13):
that Disneyland.
And so, you know what?
I just stop announcing it nowbecause I'm like, this has been
show up and you'll find out.
One year we actually got to getkids on horses.
The rest of the that's alwaysthe one that's they're like, Oh,
we don't have enough staff.
I'm like, I'm bringing 300 kidsup here.
Can you find some people to havehelp them horseback ride?
(16:34):
No, they cannot.
And then the paintball is theother one.
The boys look so forward topaintballing, but if it drops
below a certain degree, thepaintballs get too hard and you
can't play.
And even so, I just, you know,this is me venting now.
I'm just very annoyed becausethe kids get so heck, then crap.
SPEAKER_00 (16:57):
That's like what they want to do.
SPEAKER_01 (16:58):
Yes.
The they've been scheming thewhole time about like who we're
gonna shoot.
Yes, and the teams and how youknow, they're so pumped, and I
just got tired of disappointingthem.
So that was outside of mycontrol.
But what was inside of mycontrols, fine, I just don't
announce it anymore.
If you happen to go on theirwebsite and see it, then fine,
(17:19):
cats out of the bag.
But I don't announce that stuffanymore because they always let
us down.
But other things like withinyour control, like if you're
hyping something up, like thinkof it in terms of when you see
the picture of that burger onthe ad, and then you get it and
it's a soggy clump of stompedand smashed.
(17:41):
It's like, well, I guess it'sstill a burger, but you made it
sound or look something else.
Yeah.
So when you're advertising,promoting an event, use actual
footage from your event becauseotherwise, it like if you go to
like stock footage of glow nightand there's all this paint and
cool stuff, and that's not whatyou're planning on doing, then
(18:03):
you better either do what thepicture says, or you better like
just use a picture from yourpast event.
Like, this is this is what I'moffering you.
This is what we do.
SPEAKER_00 (18:16):
It's not 2,000 people here, right?
SPEAKER_01 (18:18):
And where's all the like fog?
And where's all the foam?
And where's all the cake towers?
So make sure you're like beingtrue to what you say.
I've heard, you know, over theyears students get disappointed
of different things, like theysaid it was gonna be like this
and it wasn't, or they saidthis.
So I try to be very true tohere's exactly what you can
(18:41):
expect.
And then if it's more fun thanthat, great.
But I'm not gonna be like, oh,it's the most epic thing in the
universe, you know, if it'sreally just hey, we're having a
glow party and you're gonna getglow sticks and glow paint.
We're gonna play glow in thedark dodgeball, we're gonna do
some glow in the dark justdances, we're gonna play
glow-in-the-dark hockey, andthen we're gonna crash and go to
(19:03):
bed.
You know, that is really what'sgoing to happen.
And that's just another point oflike keep photo and video files
of what you do because they comein so handy for promotion so
that kids can see what you do.
I mean, obviously for socialmedia as well.
But when you come around to thatevent the next year, you can,
(19:27):
and then it's so cool when theyknow the people in the picture
or video, they're like, oh, thatwas that was Mason.
You know, he's in high schoolnow and he went to this stuff,
or hey, there's me, and I looklittle, you know, because it was
a year ago.
SPEAKER_00 (19:40):
And do yourself a favor and log all that stuff and
organize it so that it's notlike a sea of footage that's
like, where the heck is thewinter camp from 2024?
SPEAKER_01 (19:51):
Label everything you do.
I mean, oh, that I learned thatthe hard way.
It was just like, why am I doingwork three times?
Because I don't know where Isaved it.
Yeah, and my saving system isnot organized.
As youth pastors, if you stay init long enough, you should be
able to recycle messages andflyers and games and all kinds
(20:11):
of stuff.
So keep it okay.
SPEAKER_00 (20:13):
That point really quick that reminds me of did you
have to do like when you're inschool, like the magazine drives
where you have to like contact.
I think I've told you the story,but they they have like the
pitch where they come to theschool and say, like, all this
crazy stuff that you can win,you know, Nintendo and blah blah
blah.
And I remember one of them, itwas like a pretty low bar of
(20:36):
like sell this many magazines,and you'll get six feet, and
they had this picture, six feetof licorice, and they had this
person like buried in licorice,and like it was just all over
the place.
And so you're like I'm picturinglike a like a phone booth six
feet high of like all thislicorice, and I reached that
(20:56):
tier, and then when it came timeto rewards day or awards day,
they gave me a pack of licoricethat was like if you if you put
them one by one, it would havebeen six feet of licorice.
SPEAKER_01 (21:13):
Like a pack of red vines, so like, hey, buddy,
there's put those in one lineit's six feet guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (21:19):
Hey, give or take that to the bank.
I'm like, I want to be mygrandmother had to order 17
magazines to get red vines?
Like, it was just so deflating.
Like Dollar Tree.
And they're stale.
No, it was a sobering moment inthe world of the city.
SPEAKER_01 (21:41):
Also, licorice is gross.
Who cares?
SPEAKER_00 (21:43):
As a kid, that's like gold.
SPEAKER_01 (21:45):
Oh, I don't think licorice would motivate me to do
anything.
SPEAKER_00 (21:49):
I thought my parents were gonna have to bring the
truck.
How are we gonna get this likeone ton of licorice home?
Where will we store it?
Who cares?
I'll eat it today.
But no, it was one pack, onesingle pack of red vines.
All that to say, don'toverhydrate your events.
SPEAKER_01 (22:08):
And then at what point is this child labor?
You know, like having you guyshustle your family to like.
SPEAKER_00 (22:15):
You're putting them into like a scam where it's like
pay one penny for your firstmagazine, and then you'll never
be able to cancel the$29 a monthfee that they'll charge you.
SPEAKER_01 (22:24):
I was getting Martha Stewart living for like years.
SPEAKER_00 (22:27):
I'm like, how that's how it works, that's how it
works.
I don't know.
SPEAKER_01 (22:31):
Because you always like for this.
SPEAKER_00 (22:33):
And then you never do.
SPEAKER_01 (22:37):
Oh, it's so funny.
Okay, so number secret numbermore is do what you say you're
gonna do, or else.
SPEAKER_00 (22:49):
Okay, well, I isn't the same thing as the last one.
SPEAKER_01 (22:54):
No, you'll see.
SPEAKER_00 (22:58):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (23:01):
I see why you would think that as an amateur, but
nay, stay tuned.
Like, okay, for example, lastnight the event was from 6 to
7:30.
Okay.
Kids don't care, parents do.
(23:22):
So it was like 6:35.
I'm like, okay, whatever.
I don't love this, but we'rewrapping it up.
And then the worship team waskind of trying to get the kids
dismissed, and the kids wouldn'tleave, and they were chanting
one more song.
And what are you gonna do?
Like, no more worship for you.
You know, of course you're gonnado it.
(23:43):
I go to the back and I see oneof my leaders, Andy, and he's
like, Oh, you're sweating,aren't you?
And I'm like, How do you know?
He goes, I know you.
He's like, You're looking at theclock, you're freaking out.
And I'm like, Yeah, because Idon't want to lose trust with
parents.
I want when we say we're gonnado something, like according to
(24:05):
parents, I want that to be whathappens.
Meaning we are on time, like youcan count on me that it's not
like, yeah, they always saythat, but it goes 15 minutes
late.
And here's why does it mattertotally?
Last night I let it go becauseit was worship, it was a
one-time thing, we were on fire,whatever.
And some of the parents came in,they were like, This is amazing.
(24:29):
I'm always thinking of the thenon-believing parent who is
already very skeptical of thiswhole thing that their kid is
going through.
SPEAKER_00 (24:38):
Now you made them wait outside for 15 minutes
extra.
SPEAKER_01 (24:41):
They don't have the lens of, oh, but they're just so
into it.
They're like, um, I have to workat 6 a.m., like hurry it up.
Hopefully, not forever, but Inever ever want to create
barriers, especially fornon-Christian parents to bring
their kids.
I want my parking to be assmooth as possible for that
(25:02):
reason.
I want pickup, I want everythingto be easy peasy so that they
gladly let their kid do this.
If they're religious skeptic, Idon't need to put anything else
in their way.
So I always want to earn thetrust when we do events.
We are doing what we say we'regoing to do.
If I say we're going to be backfrom Sky Zone at 8:30, we better
(25:28):
be back by 8:30.
We don't like, oh, well, theywanted to stop for ice cream.
No, too bad.
I, this maybe is too far, but Ieven tell them, like, hey,
you're gonna have to do prairiequests next week because you
guys are already over time andthe leaders will be like, well,
we didn't get to prairie quests.
I'm like, well, then start therenext week because I have a
parking lot full of parentswondering where their kid is on
(25:51):
a school night.
Like, and I now in my heart, ifI have to choose between pickup
and prayer, of course I chooseprayer, but sometimes I have to
look at I can't go out to theparking lot and explain to 75
cars, well, it's just they'rereally into it right now, while
they have a screaming toddlerwho's past their bedtime and you
(26:14):
have to work in the morning andthey still haven't finished
their homework.
Or we could plan our time welland fit it all in.
And then we don't have to say noto any good thing we want to do.
That's on us to make sure we'remanaging our time well.
So we do get to prayer, so we doget a full worship experience.
(26:34):
And so start on time, end ontime, get all that stuff done so
that people look at us as atrustworthy entity, you know,
because it goes deeper thanjust, well, I appreciate your
punctuality.
It's a reflection of we are whowe say we are, we do what we say
(26:54):
we're gonna do.
You can trust us, we arereliable, we're gonna take good
care of your children, we'regonna take good care of your
family, we're going to respectyou, we're gonna respect your
time, we're going to respect theagreement we had that you will
allow your child to come knowingit ends at this time.
Because parents have a lot offactors to consider, and it's
(27:14):
just not very courteous of us tojust say, Well, what we're doing
is really important, so you canwait.
No, no, no, no.
What did you commit to?
That's important.
SPEAKER_02 (27:24):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (27:24):
Like, so you could look at it on that sense as well
as like, well, God said, letyour yes be yes and your no be
no.
So, in a sense, it is spiritualto end on time and be reliable
and trustworthy in that way.
SPEAKER_00 (27:38):
Right.
And not only that, you've nowkind of set the precedent that
if you're gonna be kind ofloosey-goosey with time, they
may say, Well, then I'm notgonna get there at seven or
whatever you're at 8:30.
Good point.
Because sometimes they go tillthe 845.
So I'm just gonna show up at8:45, maybe nine even.
And then you're sitting there,have you called your mom yet?
(27:58):
Like, your mom's not here, like,why are we still here?
And then all of a sudden nowit's you're waiting on them
because you were so loose withthe timing.
SPEAKER_01 (28:06):
That reminds me one time, a long time ago, we had
this girl who wanted to staylate.
Her family was not a Christian.
Like, she was like, I think theonly Christian in her whole
family.
I don't even know if she was aChristian.
She was just coming to youthgroup and she wanted to talk to
a leader about some stuff, andthe dad flipped out, kept
(28:28):
texting one of the kept textinghis daughter's phone, like she
was ignoring please release mydaughter.
Why are you holding her?
Like thinking we were holdingher against her will.
But he's not, he's not a churchgoer.
We didn't have a relationshipwith him.
He couldn't just walk in and belike, hey, Kristen, where's
so-and-so?
Oh, yeah, she's meeting with herleader, she'll be right out.
(28:50):
Like, sometimes you don't getthe benefit of this
relationship.
And so he's like thinking thiskid's about to be kidnapped
because why isn't she out in theparking lot for pickup?
And I was like, he came infinally and was storming the
castle, just like, and one of myleaders, like, whoa, and he's
(29:12):
like, No, where's my daughter?
Like freaking out.
And I thought, how scary for aparent who doesn't know us and
has no relationship with thechurch, maybe had a bad
experience at church, and nowit's 15 minutes past when his
daughter is supposed to be out,and he's heard horror stories
(29:33):
about all kinds of stuff.
And where is she?
Like, okay, I can I can putmyself in your shoes.
Like that was a really scaryexperience.
So, you know, that's an extremeexample, obviously.
But however, let's let our yesesbe yeses and our no's be no's.
Let's do what we say we're goingto do to keep trust.
(29:54):
Yeah, that's the bottom line.
SPEAKER_00 (29:57):
We did an episode a while back about how if you had.
An event and maybe just didn'tquite go the way you thought it
would.
And in other words, it was aflop.
Here are some ways to kind oflike analyze that and go back
and say what went wrong.
And some of these things,actually, I think we may have
even touched in that episode,but make sure you check that one
out.
Now we're going to do acommunity comment of the day.
This comes from Amy Oldham whosays the timing of this podcast.
(30:19):
Oh, I always forget to tell you,this is again from the worship
event video.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (30:25):
Episode just how many.
So this is Amy Oldham who saysYou're wearing the same shirt in
that episode as I'm going to be.
SPEAKER_00 (30:32):
I only have so many.
The timing of this podcast isperfect because we are about to
meet with our student leadersand discuss the possibility of
having a worship night thiscoming school year.
Thank you for finding ways tomake your ideas work for smaller
youth groups.
That's a goal that we have.
Yeah.
Is that we want to make sureeverything is I was a smaller
(30:53):
youth group for a very longtime.
Yeah.
So if you have a youth group of,you know, two or two hundred,
that it'll it would work forthat.
SPEAKER_01 (31:00):
Yeah.
And that's why I wanted tocombine for the worship night
because I I'm like, I don't knowhow many junior hires are going
to come to this.
If we include high school too,at least we'll get a critical
mass of people so that it won'tfeel weird.
SPEAKER_00 (31:15):
So that's the argument people use to combine
their sixth through twelfthgraders.
SPEAKER_01 (31:20):
Only for worship.
Well, and because it was ourfirst time, I didn't know what
to expect.
So next time, I mean, I likedit.
I but I think we could havebecause yeah, I think we could
have handled the room on our ownnumbers-wise, just junior high.
But it was cool for that onetime.
SPEAKER_00 (31:40):
Well, thank you, Amy.
Let us know how it goes if andwhen you do plan that.
Uh, we thank you guys forwatching and listening.
And we'll see you next time.
To Tony.
To Tony.
You're my friend.
Thank you.
SPEAKER_01 (31:57):
Can that be in the takeout?
You can look at my ear.
Tell me more, tell me more.
Today we're talking about three common mistakes that
(00:02):
youth ministries make with theirevents.
SPEAKER_00 (00:16):
Welcome to the Ministry Coach podcast, where we
give you weekly tips and tacticsto help you fast-track the
growth and health of your youthministry.
My name is Jeff Lascola, andthis is Kristen Lascola.
SPEAKER_01 (00:27):
And I have an update, and then we'll jump into
the episode.
We did our worship nightyesterday.
We had done like an episodeabout how to plan a worship
night.
So we did a student ministriesworship night with high school
and junior high.
And you know, if you've beenlistening to our podcast, I'm a
(00:47):
huge advocate of splittingmiddle school and high school
ministries, and nothing haschanged.
I still am.
However, for this particularevent, it was so amazing because
I realized the high schoolerstaught the junior hires
something about worship, and thejunior hires taught the high
schoolers something aboutworship.
(01:08):
So the junior hires love to jumpand dance and have hand motions.
And there's that song that goes,He pick me up, turn me around,
set my feet on solid ground,whatever.
We have like a whole thing toit.
And every high schooler wasdoing it with us.
(01:28):
And it was, I talked to the highschool worship leader after, and
she was saying she feels likethe hand motions really gave the
high schoolers permission toengage in a fast song, but in a
structured way.
So it's not like I'm out heredoing weird stuff that no one's
doing with me.
But if it's synchronized andwe're all doing it, you get to
(01:50):
be expressive in a synchronizedway so you don't feel like you
stand out.
But then for the slow songs,like the high schoolers are very
used to having rugs in the frontwhere they can get on their
knees and raise their hands andyou know, change up their
posture if they want to.
And we had junior hires on theirknees.
I have never once seen a juniorhire on their knees during one
(02:14):
of my youth group worship nightsor even at camp for that matter.
And they were, and their handswere up, they were holding hands
with each other.
They are like students were likecrying and hugging, and it was
so cool.
So I loved that.
I loved combining, and wesprinkled a couple testimonies
(02:36):
in.
SPEAKER_00 (02:36):
So like I recorded or live?
SPEAKER_01 (02:39):
Yeah, recorded.
So we recorded one of our juniorhigh leaders and one of our high
school leaders, and they sharedpart of their like testimony.
And it wasn't necessarily like,here's how I came to faith, but
more like, here's currentlywhere I'm at with God and what
he's been doing in my life.
One of our leaders lost herbrother, her twin brother.
(03:02):
And so she like was just talkingabout how God's shown up for her
in that situation, and our otherleader, she was kind of
reflecting back on where she wasas a Christian when she was in
high school, and how like Godhas shown himself like into her
adult years and how she's becomeso much more confident in her
(03:24):
faith.
I did a little devo on theHebrew word yada.
It was like a worship word usedin the Psalms, means like your
arms spread open.
Our high school pastor did thecommunion message, and it was
amazing.
And then the students all wentin the back and got communion.
We played 17 songs, and when theworship team said we're done,
(03:50):
the students weren't having it,and they kept chanting, one more
song, one more song, and theywere exhausted.
And I see the band like look ateach other, and then they went
back to the beginning and redidthe first song, and it was
amazing.
I think the kids would have goneall night.
I think it was an hour and ahalf.
It felt like 20 minutes.
(04:10):
It was amazing, but it justshows me they could have gone
two hours because we ended upthe event was supposed to be an
hour and a half, and it ended uplike an hour 45 because they
wouldn't quit.
So it was so, so, so cool.
So if you've done your worshipnight like we've been talking
about, I would love to hear anyvariations to that that you
(04:32):
found were really helpfulbecause I got a text from my
worship leader today, and shewas like, We're doing this
again.
SPEAKER_00 (04:38):
I'm like, absolutely.
This is also a standalone night,not on a normal um youth group
night.
SPEAKER_01 (04:44):
Yeah, we did it.
Um, we don't have youth groupSunday night.
So we did it Sunday evening six,six to seven thirty.
I didn't everyone's like, Didyou do that on purpose?
SPEAKER_00 (04:54):
I'm like, no, some sometimes six Did you put the
number seven after six onpurpose?
SPEAKER_01 (05:00):
Like sometimes it just exists that way without us
having to be, you know, thosepeople.
I don't know, TikTok people,whatever.
SPEAKER_00 (05:10):
This is like I feel like a really long TikTok social
media trend.
SPEAKER_01 (05:14):
I know.
We're in like sheesh, like thatwas here for five minutes, and I
loved that one.
It was funny.
Why?
Why six seven?
No one knows what it means.
SPEAKER_00 (05:24):
Nobody I think because it keeps coming up so
consistently.
SPEAKER_01 (05:28):
I know it's from that song, and then the
basketball thing.
SPEAKER_00 (05:32):
Because there's so many times this number six and
seven kind of go together, andthen so I think it just
perpetuates this.
Yeah, you know, hopefully nextyear by this time it will be
gone.
SPEAKER_01 (05:41):
Well, I was telling our seven-year-old the other
day, because she's now sayingsix, seven.
I said, Well, do you know whysix is afraid of seven?
Because seven, eight, nine, oh,and you know, that was my
generation.
So OG of the classics are stillgood.
Yeah.
So we normally don't banter likethat before we get into the and
(06:05):
I hate when podcasts do thatbecause I'm like, just come on,
I'm on time crunch.
SPEAKER_00 (06:09):
45 minutes later, point number one.
I know.
SPEAKER_01 (06:11):
Okay, point number one.
So today we're talking aboutthree common mistakes youth
ministries make with events.
And I made one of themyesterday.
So I have to confess when we getto that one.
But number one, not being readyon time.
Oof.
It's a bad look that whenstudents and heaven forbid,
(06:34):
parents are arriving, the youthpastors know where to be found
because they are running arounddoing all kinds of things that
should have been done an hourago.
And it just looks like we're notready for you.
I'm not ready to receive you.
You can just kind of stand overthere while I put up the
streamers or whatever you'redoing.
Streamers.
(06:55):
Who would put streamers up?
I don't know.
SPEAKER_00 (06:57):
Why?
For the birthday party.
SPEAKER_01 (06:59):
Kids would just tear them down, anyways.
True story.
One time I set up all thesecolor-coordinated balloons for
an event we were having, and Iwas so proud.
Helium and everything.
And this kid just grabs a penand then just jumps from one to
the other and pops them allbefore we had even started.
And I look at him and I'm like,my face must have been like
(07:22):
ghostly white.
And I'm like, What are youdoing?
SPEAKER_00 (07:26):
He's like, Or angrily red.
SPEAKER_01 (07:27):
I don't know.
I'm like, I still remember thejust utter confusion of like,
we've decorated this party foryou guys, and your job is to
jump to each balloon.
SPEAKER_00 (07:41):
But that's such a junior high response, though, to
be like, Why did you do that?
I don't know.
SPEAKER_01 (07:45):
Yeah, they don't know.
SPEAKER_00 (07:46):
Innate.
SPEAKER_01 (07:47):
They're like, I saw something that needed to be
destroyed, so I destroyed it.
That's my job.
I am.
SPEAKER_00 (07:52):
But it's not even that much thought into it.
It's like literally, I don'tknow.
My my being just forces me to dothese things.
SPEAKER_01 (07:59):
My being.
Oh man, the voices.
Okay, so what is the vibe?
Here's the question (08:07):
what is the vibe when somebody shows up?
Is it still we're in the middleof the hustle and bustle and you
know, putting up the balloons orI don't know.
SPEAKER_00 (08:17):
Screamers.
SPEAKER_01 (08:17):
Streamers, getting the candles and the birthday
cake, whatever you're up to.
Or are you ready and present?
And that's the thing I think alot of youth pastors struggle
with.
We're like the movers andshakers, we're getting things
done, we're getting thingsready.
It's very hard before ourprogram for us to be present.
We're doing one last tech check.
(08:39):
We're looking at our notes.
We're doing, you know, likethere's always some little last
minute thing.
But I would really challenge youto be ready, ready to receive
families, parents, students,your own leaders, you know?
And depending on the event,maybe it's going to be harder or
easier for you to do.
But I would really encourage youto like if your program starts,
(09:03):
let's say, at seven o'clock,let's be ready at 6:30.
Like, you know, it's not like,well, I have until seven
o'clock.
Well, I don't know what yourlike youth group kids are like,
but mine show up so early.
Like a half an hour before youthgroup would be like the
deadline, absolute last.
(09:25):
They just come so early.
So if you have kids coming earlyand hoping to kind of hang out,
not that you have to accommodatesomeone an hour before.
Sometimes there's a kid there,and I'm like, I can't like just
sit with you.
Like this is it's five o'clock,you know.
But I think it's reasonable tosay 30 minutes prior to your
(09:46):
program starting, you should berelaxed, done, ready to receive
people.
And then number two, a mistakecommonly made by youth
ministries with events is nothaving enough adults at the
event.
And having enough adults kind ofhelps solve the first problem we
were talking about of like youbeing ready.
(10:08):
Well, you can't be the only onewho's there to greet students
and parents if they havequestions and new kids and all
of that.
Um, I'm so proud of my volunteerteam because when we have an
event, they are on the hunt.
They like a few of them areextremely good at spotting the
confused parent.
(10:30):
Like they're very good atspotting the new kid who doesn't
know what to do.
They're very good at spottinglittle like questionable
behavior pockets.
Junior hires are so bad athiding their bad behavior, you
know, because they keep lookingover their shoulder and you're
like, I wonder what you'redoing.
(10:50):
And they'll be like, No, whoa,no.
And I'm like, why'd you keeplooking at me?
Like, you don't just look at mewith your phone out in a huddle
when you're texting your mom,you know.
That's the other thing theyalways say.
And I finally said, then tellyour mom, like during sermon,
hey, put your phone away.
It's my mom.
I'm like, then tell your mom notto text during the sermon.
(11:12):
Tell her to wait.
Uh it's reasonable.
She can go 30 minutes, right?
But it's like their behaviorbetrays them.
So if you have leaders outthere, they can usually spot
that stuff before something goesdown, you know?
And you always want to haveleaders spread out too.
Another thing is like if therearen't enough leaders at your
(11:34):
event and people are gettinginto trouble and nobody's around
to see it, it can be really likecan make you look really bad
when you go to talk to a parent,like, well, nobody saw, you
know.
And obviously, if they're verycommitted to hiding it, they
will.
However, it I don't want it tobe for the reason, well, we
(11:56):
didn't have enough supervision.
You know, so supervision, havingenough leaders for that, but
also having enough leaders justfor relationship.
Like, there's a lot of kids thatlike need an adult to kind of
come alongside, like, hey, Irecognize you.
What's your name?
Oh, yeah, you're blah, blah,blah.
What grade are you in?
Oh, here, let me introduce youto these people.
(12:18):
Or do you know what we're doingtonight?
Or do you know where to put yourstuff?
You know, it's almost like theselike hosts everywhere, like kind
of helping the night, you know,move.
SPEAKER_00 (12:28):
Especially if those kids are new.
SPEAKER_01 (12:29):
Yeah.
And then like relationship justfor their own kids, like their
own small group kids, likehanging out, having a
relationship with them, gettingto know their friend if they
bring a friend, but and thenjust enough leaders to help
things run smoothly.
Like, say you're doing an eventwith transportation, having a
leader take attendance each timekids get on and off the bus to
(12:53):
make sure we didn't leaveanybody uh in and out or
Chick-fil-A, you know.
Um having leaders help with likeluggage, like that's a really
big one.
So that like if you're goingsomewhere and you need to pack
their bags or helping leaders orhaving leaders help, like when
we do big events, like and wetake attendance in a different
(13:16):
way, they take attendance forthat.
So it's just nice to have morehands, more eyes, more ears, and
people know what they're doing.
So I've always said thiseverything is better, whether
that's church, youth group,camps, events, retreats,
whatever it is.
It's always better with moreleaders, provided you have the
(13:37):
right leaders.
Because if it's the wrongleaders, maybe it's worse.
But all my leaders are 10 out of10.
So I'm like, how it'sexponential.
Every single one that shows up,we get 10 times better.
So yeah, make sure anytime youplay an event, tell your
leaders, I'd love for you tocome.
If it's something that theymight not want to go to, try to
(13:58):
sweeten the deal for themsomehow, you know, buy them
dinner or have leader snacksavailable somewhere, or you
know, some kind of leader perkthat is gonna make it like all
right, we're gonna sleep on thefloor, but maybe we'll get a
burrito out of it.
I don't know.
Just always try to find ways tothank them to make it special to
(14:22):
appreciate the extra effortthey're going to.
So number three, who a mistake.
SPEAKER_00 (14:30):
Is this the one you made?
SPEAKER_01 (14:33):
No.
Oh, I'll tell you the mistake Imade.
SPEAKER_00 (14:38):
Welcome to the five years.
SPEAKER_01 (14:39):
It was gonna be number four, and I took it out
because your title said threemistakes.
SPEAKER_00 (14:44):
I can change those are arbitrary names.
Okay, guys.
SPEAKER_01 (14:48):
Jeff said I could do four, so maybe I'll do one more.
Okay, well, bonus number four.
SPEAKER_00 (14:58):
Secret menu.
SPEAKER_01 (15:00):
I'm getting to that.
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (15:02):
Are you?
unknown (15:03):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (15:04):
Jeff overselling and underdelivering.
Oh my gosh.
Okay.
This is tale as old as time.
Where youth pastors, when theyannounce things, they act like
this is gonna be the coolestthing you've ever been to.
Like it's gonna be so epic.
SPEAKER_00 (15:25):
Winter blast 2025.
SPEAKER_01 (15:28):
Now, I hey, I'm not opposed to marketing.
I'm not opposed to making thingslike hyping stuff up.
Right.
However, I am against hypingsomething up and then it not
being anything close to what yousold them.
That they will lose trust in youpretty quick and watch your camp
(15:52):
and event attendance shrink.
Tell them what it is.
Sometimes it's not in yourcontrol.
One thing that happens to us allthe time is the place we use for
winter camp always sayshorseback riding, paintball, and
then that's what the kidsexpect.
And then we get there and we'relike, oh, that ride's broken,
(16:13):
that Disneyland.
And so, you know what?
I just stop announcing it nowbecause I'm like, this has been
show up and you'll find out.
One year we actually got to getkids on horses.
The rest of the that's alwaysthe one that's they're like, Oh,
we don't have enough staff.
I'm like, I'm bringing 300 kidsup here.
Can you find some people to havehelp them horseback ride?
(16:34):
No, they cannot.
And then the paintball is theother one.
The boys look so forward topaintballing, but if it drops
below a certain degree, thepaintballs get too hard and you
can't play.
And even so, I just, you know,this is me venting now.
I'm just very annoyed becausethe kids get so heck, then crap.
SPEAKER_00 (16:57):
That's like what they want to do.
SPEAKER_01 (16:58):
Yes.
The they've been scheming thewhole time about like who we're
gonna shoot.
Yes, and the teams and how youknow, they're so pumped, and I
just got tired of disappointingthem.
So that was outside of mycontrol.
But what was inside of mycontrols, fine, I just don't
announce it anymore.
If you happen to go on theirwebsite and see it, then fine,
(17:19):
cats out of the bag.
But I don't announce that stuffanymore because they always let
us down.
But other things like withinyour control, like if you're
hyping something up, like thinkof it in terms of when you see
the picture of that burger onthe ad, and then you get it and
it's a soggy clump of stompedand smashed.
(17:41):
It's like, well, I guess it'sstill a burger, but you made it
sound or look something else.
Yeah.
So when you're advertising,promoting an event, use actual
footage from your event becauseotherwise, it like if you go to
like stock footage of glow nightand there's all this paint and
cool stuff, and that's not whatyou're planning on doing, then
(18:03):
you better either do what thepicture says, or you better like
just use a picture from yourpast event.
Like, this is this is what I'moffering you.
This is what we do.
SPEAKER_00 (18:16):
It's not 2,000 people here, right?
SPEAKER_01 (18:18):
And where's all the like fog?
And where's all the foam?
And where's all the cake towers?
So make sure you're like beingtrue to what you say.
I've heard, you know, over theyears students get disappointed
of different things, like theysaid it was gonna be like this
and it wasn't, or they saidthis.
So I try to be very true tohere's exactly what you can
(18:41):
expect.
And then if it's more fun thanthat, great.
But I'm not gonna be like, oh,it's the most epic thing in the
universe, you know, if it'sreally just hey, we're having a
glow party and you're gonna getglow sticks and glow paint.
We're gonna play glow in thedark dodgeball, we're gonna do
some glow in the dark justdances, we're gonna play
glow-in-the-dark hockey, andthen we're gonna crash and go to
(19:03):
bed.
You know, that is really what'sgoing to happen.
And that's just another point oflike keep photo and video files
of what you do because they comein so handy for promotion so
that kids can see what you do.
I mean, obviously for socialmedia as well.
But when you come around to thatevent the next year, you can,
(19:27):
and then it's so cool when theyknow the people in the picture
or video, they're like, oh, thatwas that was Mason.
You know, he's in high schoolnow and he went to this stuff,
or hey, there's me, and I looklittle, you know, because it was
a year ago.
SPEAKER_00 (19:40):
And do yourself a favor and log all that stuff and
organize it so that it's notlike a sea of footage that's
like, where the heck is thewinter camp from 2024?
SPEAKER_01 (19:51):
Label everything you do.
I mean, oh, that I learned thatthe hard way.
It was just like, why am I doingwork three times?
Because I don't know where Isaved it.
Yeah, and my saving system isnot organized.
As youth pastors, if you stay init long enough, you should be
able to recycle messages andflyers and games and all kinds
(20:11):
of stuff.
So keep it okay.
SPEAKER_00 (20:13):
That point really quick that reminds me of did you
have to do like when you're inschool, like the magazine drives
where you have to like contact.
I think I've told you the story,but they they have like the
pitch where they come to theschool and say, like, all this
crazy stuff that you can win,you know, Nintendo and blah blah
blah.
And I remember one of them, itwas like a pretty low bar of
(20:36):
like sell this many magazines,and you'll get six feet, and
they had this picture, six feetof licorice, and they had this
person like buried in licorice,and like it was just all over
the place.
And so you're like I'm picturinglike a like a phone booth six
feet high of like all thislicorice, and I reached that
(20:56):
tier, and then when it came timeto rewards day or awards day,
they gave me a pack of licoricethat was like if you if you put
them one by one, it would havebeen six feet of licorice.
SPEAKER_01 (21:13):
Like a pack of red vines, so like, hey, buddy,
there's put those in one lineit's six feet guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (21:19):
Hey, give or take that to the bank.
I'm like, I want to be mygrandmother had to order 17
magazines to get red vines?
Like, it was just so deflating.
Like Dollar Tree.
And they're stale.
No, it was a sobering moment inthe world of the city.
SPEAKER_01 (21:41):
Also, licorice is gross.
Who cares?
SPEAKER_00 (21:43):
As a kid, that's like gold.
SPEAKER_01 (21:45):
Oh, I don't think licorice would motivate me to do
anything.
SPEAKER_00 (21:49):
I thought my parents were gonna have to bring the
truck.
How are we gonna get this likeone ton of licorice home?
Where will we store it?
Who cares?
I'll eat it today.
But no, it was one pack, onesingle pack of red vines.
All that to say, don'toverhydrate your events.
SPEAKER_01 (22:08):
And then at what point is this child labor?
You know, like having you guyshustle your family to like.
SPEAKER_00 (22:15):
You're putting them into like a scam where it's like
pay one penny for your firstmagazine, and then you'll never
be able to cancel the$29 a monthfee that they'll charge you.
SPEAKER_01 (22:24):
I was getting Martha Stewart living for like years.
SPEAKER_00 (22:27):
I'm like, how that's how it works, that's how it
works.
I don't know.
SPEAKER_01 (22:31):
Because you always like for this.
SPEAKER_00 (22:33):
And then you never do.
SPEAKER_01 (22:37):
Oh, it's so funny.
Okay, so number secret numbermore is do what you say you're
gonna do, or else.
SPEAKER_00 (22:49):
Okay, well, I isn't the same thing as the last one.
SPEAKER_01 (22:54):
No, you'll see.
SPEAKER_00 (22:58):
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (23:01):
I see why you would think that as an amateur, but
nay, stay tuned.
Like, okay, for example, lastnight the event was from 6 to
7:30.
Okay.
Kids don't care, parents do.
(23:22):
So it was like 6:35.
I'm like, okay, whatever.
I don't love this, but we'rewrapping it up.
And then the worship team waskind of trying to get the kids
dismissed, and the kids wouldn'tleave, and they were chanting
one more song.
And what are you gonna do?
Like, no more worship for you.
You know, of course you're gonnado it.
(23:43):
I go to the back and I see oneof my leaders, Andy, and he's
like, Oh, you're sweating,aren't you?
And I'm like, How do you know?
He goes, I know you.
He's like, You're looking at theclock, you're freaking out.
And I'm like, Yeah, because Idon't want to lose trust with
parents.
I want when we say we're gonnado something, like according to
(24:05):
parents, I want that to be whathappens.
Meaning we are on time, like youcan count on me that it's not
like, yeah, they always saythat, but it goes 15 minutes
late.
And here's why does it mattertotally?
Last night I let it go becauseit was worship, it was a
one-time thing, we were on fire,whatever.
And some of the parents came in,they were like, This is amazing.
(24:29):
I'm always thinking of the thenon-believing parent who is
already very skeptical of thiswhole thing that their kid is
going through.
SPEAKER_00 (24:38):
Now you made them wait outside for 15 minutes
extra.
SPEAKER_01 (24:41):
They don't have the lens of, oh, but they're just so
into it.
They're like, um, I have to workat 6 a.m., like hurry it up.
Hopefully, not forever, but Inever ever want to create
barriers, especially fornon-Christian parents to bring
their kids.
I want my parking to be assmooth as possible for that
(25:02):
reason.
I want pickup, I want everythingto be easy peasy so that they
gladly let their kid do this.
If they're religious skeptic, Idon't need to put anything else
in their way.
So I always want to earn thetrust when we do events.
We are doing what we say we'regoing to do.
If I say we're going to be backfrom Sky Zone at 8:30, we better
(25:28):
be back by 8:30.
We don't like, oh, well, theywanted to stop for ice cream.
No, too bad.
I, this maybe is too far, but Ieven tell them, like, hey,
you're gonna have to do prairiequests next week because you
guys are already over time andthe leaders will be like, well,
we didn't get to prairie quests.
I'm like, well, then start therenext week because I have a
parking lot full of parentswondering where their kid is on
(25:51):
a school night.
Like, and I now in my heart, ifI have to choose between pickup
and prayer, of course I chooseprayer, but sometimes I have to
look at I can't go out to theparking lot and explain to 75
cars, well, it's just they'rereally into it right now, while
they have a screaming toddlerwho's past their bedtime and you
(26:14):
have to work in the morning andthey still haven't finished
their homework.
Or we could plan our time welland fit it all in.
And then we don't have to say noto any good thing we want to do.
That's on us to make sure we'remanaging our time well.
So we do get to prayer, so we doget a full worship experience.
(26:34):
And so start on time, end ontime, get all that stuff done so
that people look at us as atrustworthy entity, you know,
because it goes deeper thanjust, well, I appreciate your
punctuality.
It's a reflection of we are whowe say we are, we do what we say
(26:54):
we're gonna do.
You can trust us, we arereliable, we're gonna take good
care of your children, we'regonna take good care of your
family, we're going to respectyou, we're gonna respect your
time, we're going to respect theagreement we had that you will
allow your child to come knowingit ends at this time.
Because parents have a lot offactors to consider, and it's
(27:14):
just not very courteous of us tojust say, Well, what we're doing
is really important, so you canwait.
No, no, no, no.
What did you commit to?
That's important.
SPEAKER_02 (27:24):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (27:24):
Like, so you could look at it on that sense as well
as like, well, God said, letyour yes be yes and your no be
no.
So, in a sense, it is spiritualto end on time and be reliable
and trustworthy in that way.
SPEAKER_00 (27:38):
Right.
And not only that, you've nowkind of set the precedent that
if you're gonna be kind ofloosey-goosey with time, they
may say, Well, then I'm notgonna get there at seven or
whatever you're at 8:30.
Good point.
Because sometimes they go tillthe 845.
So I'm just gonna show up at8:45, maybe nine even.
And then you're sitting there,have you called your mom yet?
(27:58):
Like, your mom's not here, like,why are we still here?
And then all of a sudden nowit's you're waiting on them
because you were so loose withthe timing.
SPEAKER_01 (28:06):
That reminds me one time, a long time ago, we had
this girl who wanted to staylate.
Her family was not a Christian.
Like, she was like, I think theonly Christian in her whole
family.
I don't even know if she was aChristian.
She was just coming to youthgroup and she wanted to talk to
a leader about some stuff, andthe dad flipped out, kept
(28:28):
texting one of the kept textinghis daughter's phone, like she
was ignoring please release mydaughter.
Why are you holding her?
Like thinking we were holdingher against her will.
But he's not, he's not a churchgoer.
We didn't have a relationshipwith him.
He couldn't just walk in and belike, hey, Kristen, where's
so-and-so?
Oh, yeah, she's meeting with herleader, she'll be right out.
(28:50):
Like, sometimes you don't getthe benefit of this
relationship.
And so he's like thinking thiskid's about to be kidnapped
because why isn't she out in theparking lot for pickup?
And I was like, he came infinally and was storming the
castle, just like, and one of myleaders, like, whoa, and he's
(29:12):
like, No, where's my daughter?
Like freaking out.
And I thought, how scary for aparent who doesn't know us and
has no relationship with thechurch, maybe had a bad
experience at church, and nowit's 15 minutes past when his
daughter is supposed to be out,and he's heard horror stories
(29:33):
about all kinds of stuff.
And where is she?
Like, okay, I can I can putmyself in your shoes.
Like that was a really scaryexperience.
So, you know, that's an extremeexample, obviously.
But however, let's let our yesesbe yeses and our no's be no's.
Let's do what we say we're goingto do to keep trust.
(29:54):
Yeah, that's the bottom line.
SPEAKER_00 (29:57):
We did an episode a while back about how if you had.
An event and maybe just didn'tquite go the way you thought it
would.
And in other words, it was aflop.
Here are some ways to kind oflike analyze that and go back
and say what went wrong.
And some of these things,actually, I think we may have
even touched in that episode,but make sure you check that one
out.
Now we're going to do acommunity comment of the day.
This comes from Amy Oldham whosays the timing of this podcast.
(30:19):
Oh, I always forget to tell you,this is again from the worship
event video.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (30:25):
Episode just how many.
So this is Amy Oldham who saysYou're wearing the same shirt in
that episode as I'm going to be.
SPEAKER_00 (30:32):
I only have so many.
The timing of this podcast isperfect because we are about to
meet with our student leadersand discuss the possibility of
having a worship night thiscoming school year.
Thank you for finding ways tomake your ideas work for smaller
youth groups.
That's a goal that we have.
Yeah.
Is that we want to make sureeverything is I was a smaller
(30:53):
youth group for a very longtime.
Yeah.
So if you have a youth group of,you know, two or two hundred,
that it'll it would work forthat.
SPEAKER_01 (31:00):
Yeah.
And that's why I wanted tocombine for the worship night
because I I'm like, I don't knowhow many junior hires are going
to come to this.
If we include high school too,at least we'll get a critical
mass of people so that it won'tfeel weird.
SPEAKER_00 (31:15):
So that's the argument people use to combine
their sixth through twelfthgraders.
SPEAKER_01 (31:20):
Only for worship.
Well, and because it was ourfirst time, I didn't know what
to expect.
So next time, I mean, I likedit.
I but I think we could havebecause yeah, I think we could
have handled the room on our ownnumbers-wise, just junior high.
But it was cool for that onetime.
SPEAKER_00 (31:40):
Well, thank you, Amy.
Let us know how it goes if andwhen you do plan that.
Uh, we thank you guys forwatching and listening.
And we'll see you next time.
To Tony.
To Tony.
You're my friend.
Thank you.
SPEAKER_01 (31:57):
Can that be in the takeout?
You can look at my ear.
Tell me more, tell me more.
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