September 11, 2025 • 32 mins
Check out our new partnership with Onward: Youth & Young Adult Pastor Cohort https://www.onwardleader.com/the-cohort *** What's the difference between making decisions and making disciples? For many young Christians, the journey of faith begins and ends with "asking Jesus into their heart," but Jesus called us to so much more than a one-time prayer. He invited us to follow Him.
In this transformative episode, we will unpack 4 powerful discipleship strategies that move youth ministry students from surface-level faith decisions to becoming genuine Jesus followers.
Whether you're a youth pastor or a volunteer, these strategies will equip you to develop disciples who follow Jesus for a lifetime. Every conversation in your youth group can become discipleship—are you ready to make each one count?
📕 Book mentioned in this podcast:
Stop Asking Jesus into Your Heart: How to Know For Sure That You Are Saved - J.D. Greear https://amzn.to/46c7tDd
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We love hearing from you all and we do our best to provide powerful and insightful youth ministry content on a weekly basis to be that coach and mentor you may not have, but desperately need.
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You may also enjoy these episodes:
How to Start a Student Leadership Team in Youth Ministry
3 Ways to Encourage Your Youth Group to Join Your Student Leadership Team
Writing Effective Talk Sheets for Small Group Time in Youth Ministry
Small Group Leader Training for Youth Ministry
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
As a youth pastor, as a youth worker, volunteer.
Whatever role you're in, it'sjust we're always ready to have
a meaningful conversation with astudent.
Every conversation can turninto discipleship.
Today we're talking about fourdiscipleship strategies to help
grow your youth.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Welcome to the Ministry Coach Podcast where
every week we give youactionable and practical tips to
help you grow your youthministry.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
My name is Jeff Laskola and this is Kristen
Laskola, and today we aretalking about discipleship
strategies to grow your youthministry.
And our mission statement atNorth Coast Church for years and
years and years as long as Ican remember, as long as I've
worked there, which has been along time is making disciples in
(00:54):
a healthy church environmentFor the staff.
We tweak that slightly and it'smaking disciples in a healthy
and productive churchenvironment.
And so a decision like sometimes, as youth pastors, I think we
get really excited and motivatedby decisions Like how many kids
(01:16):
accepted Jesus at camp, howmany kids accepted Jesus at this
altar call or whatever, andthat is exciting and we should
measure that and we should paythat and we should pay attention
to the decisions.
But that is really not the endof the road when it comes to
what we need to be focused on.
So we always say we're intomaking disciples, not just
(01:38):
decisions.
So decisions are a greatstarting off point, but Jesus
didn't ask us to simply make adecision for him.
He said follow me.
And that's basically whatdiscipleship comes down to is
we're getting people to go fromA to B and B to C and so on and
so forth in their relationshipwith following Jesus, not simply
(02:03):
.
Well, I said a prayer once inthird grade.
I guess I'm good you know, and,to be honest, I think we may
have talked about this on thepodcast before.
I grew up believing that youknow, and I don't know that it
was anyone's fault.
I mean, I went to a Christianschool my whole life, up until
my sophomore year of high school, and I had gone to church with
(02:25):
my parents.
I went to you know like therewas Bible class in chapel and I
was inundated with biblicalknowledge.
I knew a lot.
However, I was still under thisimpression that once you ask
Jesus into your heart quoteyou're good to go and there's
nothing that can ever take thataway.
(02:47):
And as I kind of developed inmy own faith, I sort of started
to realize I think I might bemissing something here.
You know that, and it was thediscipleship process.
Like it doesn't just like weliken it some sometimes to like
a wedding ceremony, you know,like if you and I get married
and I say I do, and then I'mlike, well, I have a date later,
(03:10):
you know, see you later.
It's like wait a minute.
Just because you said I dodoesn't give you a license to do
whatever you want, but we'restill married, it's like, well,
I guess on paper, but that's norelationship and it's similar.
And that's kind of the wholeidea of what we're trying to
teach our students is hey, guys,a decision is a really good
(03:31):
first step.
You've acknowledged your beliefin Jesus, like in the Bible
talks about that, like thatconfession with your mouth, the
belief in your heart.
Those are all important pieces,but we can't leave out now what
the journey with our students.
So how do we do that?
How do we disciple our studentsso that they become Jesus
(03:51):
followers?
Not a flash in the pan.
I made a decision.
You know, I think a lot of timesabout the parable of the sower
and the seed, you know, and Ithink the first one is very much
.
That is like, yeah, I'm excited, sweet Jesus, let's go.
And then it's like, you knowyou're kind of over it, or life
gets in the way, or you getdistracted, or you know people
(04:15):
say Christianity didn't work forme or something.
It's like whoa.
Then you have a very limitedunderstanding of what this is,
because there was nothing thatwas supposed to work.
Oh, salvation from hell didn'twork for you.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Just not my.
Thing.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Okay, I think we have a misunderstanding here, and
one of the best books I've everread on this and I feel like
it's one of those books I shouldprobably read like a couple of
times a year for the rest of mylife as long as I'm in
vocational ministry is StopAsking Jesus Into your Heart by
JD Greer, and I found it at thislittle thrift store in Santa
(04:54):
Barbara like on a whim.
We were checking out and I'mlike what's this bright yellow
book?
This is interesting Stop AskingJesus into your heart, Like the
title caught me like what, and Iended up taking it to our
student ministry team at NorthCoast and we all read it and
discussed it together, becausethe message we could
(05:18):
inadvertently be giving ourstudents is the one that I just
mentioned growing up with oflike, all we are asking, guys,
is that you quote ask Jesus intoyour heart and there's your
fire insurance, no matter whatyou do for the rest of your life
, when the biblical narrativeand what Jesus is asking us to
do is a little bit more thanjust that you know it's simple
(05:42):
and complex all at the same time.
We always describe the gospel asa diamond and every time you
turn it you see a new facet inthe way the light hit it and you
see a new angle.
And I mean, I've been aChristian since I was four years
old and I still see new facetsof the gospel every single time
(06:02):
I open the Bible or pray or heara sermon, particularly Tim
Keller, I mean.
Every time I hear him I'm like,do I even know the gospel?
Oh my gosh, I've never seenthat before.
And it's not like, ooh, a newgospel, it's just the way he
said it.
I'm like, oh my gosh, yes,you're right.
So, so good.
I love Tim Keller, but anyways,how do we do this?
(06:25):
So for me, in my opinion, Ithink that the number one way to
get people on a discipleshipjourney is through serving.
I think that is the mostpowerful way to metaphorically
get people off the bench andinto the game when it comes to
their faith in Christianity.
(06:46):
So to me, that's the number onetool.
But let me go a step furtherand say how we get them.
Serving is really, reallyimportant, and I think that's
sort of where, like, the secretsauce is is not just like all
right, here's a badge.
You're in room two with thethree-year-olds Bada bing, bada
boom.
See you later Servingdiscipleship.
(07:07):
Did it check?
It's a little more intentionalthan that and I make fun of that
, but I think that's the way alot of churches operate is oh,
you are on a serving team.
Now let me move on to the nextperson.
Are you serving?
And we think, just like, makinga decision is the end all be
(07:30):
all of being a Christian.
We think being on a servingteam means we did our job and
it's like well, how did we do it?
Though?
So it's not just, you know, gowatch these kids or go push this
button or just set up thisstuff, or whatever their serving
job in particular is.
(07:52):
It's done in the context.
I like to do serving in thecontext of like a leadership
team, and we talk a lot aboutstudent leadership teams, you
know, and how they're just vitalto the culture of your youth
ministry.
But what we want to do, and whyit's important to be a part of
the team, is because I want toteach you godly character and
(08:15):
leadership principles, and thenyou serving is when you're
putting those into action.
So it's like serving is theplatform that you use, the more
important thing, which is thesecharacter lessons we're talking
about.
So, for example, we had ourfirst SOS meeting on Friday.
It was super fun.
(08:36):
We have the biggest leadershipteam we've ever had in my youth
ministry.
Kids are excited to getinvolved ever had in my youth
ministry.
Kids are excited to getinvolved, and what I was talking
to them about is I was tellingthem a story of a girl who I
just randomly ran into in asubway and I was like oh yeah,
I'm taking this sandwich down tothe beach.
(08:57):
I'm having an event for my youthgroup and she's like what
church do you go to?
And we started chatting,chatting, chatting.
She was a young adult, she wasout of high school and she just
started opening up about how shewent to a church.
And she's like I was kind ofemo in high school and so I got
made fun of a lot and basicallythe story was she got bullied
(09:20):
out of the church and she's likeyou know, I really want to go
back to church someday, but Idon't know like I had such a bad
experience.
I'm just watching it online.
So it was really excited forher that it wasn't like so God
isn't real.
You know, it was like sheunderstood the difference
between Christians that arejerks and that God is still God.
(09:41):
So it wasn't like this verylost cause.
But she was like, ah, I'm notreally ready to step foot back
in a church and I said I don'tblame you.
I said, whatever, take yourtime, you know like it'll, it'll
still be there and you'll findthe right one when you're ready
to come back.
But so what I did is I took thatlesson to my student leadership
team and I said, hey, the waywe treat people is the
(10:05):
difference between themcontinuing to come to church and
them being so scared of thepeople there that it's now a
barrier to their relationshipwith other Christians.
I said how sad is that?
So what can we do?
Like, yeah, maybe your job istech, but when a new kid walks
(10:27):
in the room, how do you treatthem?
Well, let's look at how Jesustreated outcasts and if we're
following Jesus's example.
So now we're doing discipleship, like discipleship's happening.
I'm telling you, this is howJesus treats people.
This is how you can treatpeople.
This is what's at stake.
Now I'm giving you a jobthrough serving, where you can
(10:49):
actually do this.
Maybe you know like you see anew kid who's kind of nervous
and you say, hey, why don't youcome and sit with us?
Why don't you be on our team,whatever?
So Any kid can do that, whetherthey're a part of a serving
team or not.
But I just feel like whenthey're a part of a serving team
, it's this extra trainingground where I get this
(11:10):
opportunity to really, like,speak these lessons into their
lives and challenge them withthis godly character stuff.
And so you know we teachstudents all kinds of lessons
every month how to put peopleabove yourself.
Like when you're uncomfortable,are you willing to sacrifice
that for the sake of someoneelse.
(11:30):
Well, how did Jesus sacrificehis comfortability for us?
And you know what was at stakefor him and what's at stake for
us.
You're having these deepconversations and then giving
them action items.
So sometimes you know I'vetalked about before these
students will need a nudge.
You know like I'll be likeshoulder tap, like all right,
(11:50):
blue sweater, brand new.
I already said hi, I mean, myconversation can only go so far.
Go and invite her to sit withyou.
I don't know.
I'm like okay, so let's talkabout rejection.
You may walk into a situationwhere you get rejected right now
Again, what did Jesus I mean,he's very familiar with
(12:11):
rejection like, but what is atstake is greater than, oh well,
you're rejected and then youmove on, you know, and so you
start to peel away, like we'regetting to the heart of Jesus,
we're getting to the heart of.
I'm willing to emulate him inthis situation and so sometimes
I push them toward it, you know.
(12:32):
And then we have a talk aboutit afterwards.
Or I see, one of our studentswas really great with a special
needs student and she was justtaxed at the end of it because
it was very high needsrelationally and a lot of
touching and a lot, you know.
And I just kept looking at herlike you're doing great.
You're doing okay, you're doingokay.
And she kind of broke at theend of it, like oh, I'm like
(12:55):
really overwhelmed and I'm like,I see you, you did a really
good job and you loved that girland it was hard.
Now let's talk about how loveis hard sometimes, like love
takes from us.
It's not always this like ooh,like this giddy feeling.
Sometimes love just sucks thelife out of us.
Let's bring it back to Jesus.
Like how did he love us in away that just literally depleted
(13:18):
him, like I can think of amillion examples, right.
So we're always bringing itback to Jesus and when we have
that in the context of a servingteam, I think we have a
platform to really sharpen themand then send them out, just
like Jesus did.
So it's like the huddle.
We talk about it.
I see you, you're going tosometimes feel like a sheep
(13:39):
among wolves.
Now go.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
You know, and that's what he did.
He paired them up and sent themout and it was the team huddle
and you know.
But he didn't make it easy forthem and I feel like we need to
challenge students.
That's part of discipleship ischallenging them, and that's why
I like, again I do.
I like doing it in the contextof a student leadership team,
because when you sign up forthat team, you're saying please
(14:03):
challenge me, Please disciple me.
I'm ready to go deeper, I'mready to go further.
And now I feel this permission,even more so, to be like hey,
this is what you signed up for,this is ministry.
I know you thought it was goingto be just like yay, I get more
attention now and my picture'sup in the youth room, but this
(14:24):
is loving people.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
This is tough.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
So that's the first way of get students serving.
And secondly, how we disciplestudents is through a thriving
relationship with a caring adultwhich would be hopefully more
than just you.
It would be their small groupleader.
So discipleship it's justimpossible for it to happen
outside of relationship.
(14:47):
There's just no way.
So if you don't have a smallgroup ministry in your youth
group, I cannot emphasize thatenough.
Relationship is the key toeverything we do in youth
ministry.
So small groups for me are anabsolute, non-negotiable.
Like if I I honestly, if Ididn't have small groups in my
(15:10):
ministry right now, that wouldbe the number one thing I would
do.
I would do that before studentleadership team.
It would be.
I don't.
I don't even know how to do ayouth ministry without small
groups.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Like it basically is talking for a lot longer.
It is playing more games.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
Like that is like the hub of everything we do.
So students need to be known ina capacity that their small
group leader can know them anddisciple them and have a window
into, like what's really goingon in a crowd.
A window into, like what'sreally going on in a crowd.
You can hide very easily.
(15:49):
You know you don't have anopportunity to ask questions,
you don't have an opportunity toshare.
Like at the end of a sermon Inever say does anyone have any
prayer requests?
Like that's just for me and mysize and setting and context.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
It's not the setting for that You'd have a lot of
neighbor's cats who are lost andpray that they come back.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Because that would be the most safe prayer request.
You know what I mean.
Imagine a group like your crushis sitting right next to you
and you're really going to raiseyour hand and say whatever.
Or those girls that intimidateyou a little bit and you think
they're going to make your handand say whatever.
Or those girls that you knowintimidate you a little bit and
you think they're going to makefun of you.
Or just joe schmo, like youdon't even know his name, like
you're really going to open yourheart now and share a real
(16:35):
prayer request, but in thecontext of a small group, with a
small group leader that youknow cares for you and you have
a relationship with.
That's where we get real and wecan talk about real things.
And then you know training yoursmall group leaders of how to
have really good and meaningfulconversations with students.
And I think sometimes I strugglewith that, you know, because
(16:59):
the small groups, like.
One thing we struggle withmajorly is keeping them small
enough for this kind of stuff tohappen.
We have a very good problemthat students continue to invite
their friends.
I see new faces every singleweek but what that does to our
small groups is they keepgetting exponentially bigger and
I'm running out of space andI'm running out of leaders and
(17:21):
sometimes we keep them together,but it's like the depth of
relationship.
Exactly.
It's like the depth ofrelationship can only go so far
when you're in a room full of 21other seventh grade boys, like
that's not really healthy.
So that's what I reallystruggle with is keeping the
(17:41):
size small enough to where wecan open up and share and it's
not just like a surface leveldiscussion.
So make sure you're keepingyour small groups at a good size
to where you feel likeeveryone's getting a chance to
share, everyone has a connectionwith each other, everyone feels
safe and has some relationalbonds so that now life can start
(18:03):
to happen and we can talk aboutsomething real and not just
answer the questions on the talksheet but like talk about what
is going on in our life.
That's Christian community.
That's what students need.
They need a place to be realand to be vulnerable, and that's
the part of, you know,discipleship like we're talking
about.
So I think our small groupleaders are sort of the key to
(18:26):
that and you could give themexamples of like, hey, here's
how we go below the surface withstudents and that happens over
time.
You know, it's not just likeyou go from zero to 60, but you
know you get to know studentsand then give them like the
questions to ask, you know to ifthey have the opportunity to
(18:49):
get below the surface withstudents and when students are
ready to open up, they reallyopen up.
Junior hires tend to, I feellike, open up a little quicker,
you know, than high schoolers,but high schoolers tend to be
able to go a little deepersometimes.
It just depends.
And so the third method or tipfor discipleship would be
(19:12):
possibly changing up your sermonstyle.
So we were talking about in ameeting this week how I think
it's Kara Powell from the FullerYouth Institute and how she's
talking a lot right now abouthow the like lecture sermons
style is just dead Right andit's like just you getting up
(19:34):
there having a monologue.
Blah, blah, blah, like I amright now is just like very dead
.
I'm very interested though.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Keep going, okay.
I see you keep swallowing youryawns.
No, I'm not, you're not.
No, I'm very interested, though, keep going Okay.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
I see you keep swallowing your yawns, no.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
I'm not, you're not.
No, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
Okay, then you're making weird faces.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
I'm probably burping.
Oh, it's a burp.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Okay, I'm like you're swallowing air.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
I can tell what a weirdo I'm burping, probably, I
think you figured it out.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
So you could do more of like round table discussions.
This was one of our seniorpastor's ideas for us this week.
He's like so what, if you like,throw out a Bible story and you
guys all read it, and then youask a question like why did
Jesus blah, blah, blah and then,you give them some time to talk
about it, and then you ask aquestion like why did Jesus blah
, blah, blah?
And then you give them some timeto talk about it and then you
(20:26):
kind of go around the room Allright, what'd you guys come up
with?
And so it's more interactive.
You could kind of do it like atalk show a little bit.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
You know like Do you mean like changing it up kind of
every now and then, but likenot completely changing your
format?
To this we now are just a talkshow.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
I not completely changing your format to this.
We now are just a talk show.
I mean, if it works for you,why not?
You know, I don't think, as hewas talking about it, it worked
very well for him when he was ayouth pastor and he saw a lot of
fruit from it.
He said, however, you need tobe able to control a room and
you need to have, you need toknow your group to know if
something like this will work.
My students I love them.
(21:06):
They're so cute, so fun.
I don't know that we could betotally successful at this.
I think I could do this with mystudent leadership team, but on
a typical Tuesday night youthgroup, I don't know that they're
mature enough for this to work.
But I think it could work verywell with our high school group.
You know, know that they'remature enough for this to work,
but I think it could work verywell with our high school group.
You know, I've guest spoke forthem and observed their like
(21:31):
demeanor and their culture andtheir vibe.
I think it would be excellentfor them.
And so I remember being a partof that, I think, like you know,
in a college group or something, and it would be like your
table talks about it, and thenwe turn our attention back to,
you know, the main group and thespeaker, and they might even
pass the mic around like, allright, what did you think?
Or what answers did you guyscome up with?
(21:53):
And now it's like a Bible study, but like on a larger group
scale, and I think that's agreat form of discipleship, of
like, hey, we are grappling withthe scripture together.
It's not just like, uh, I'm thespeaker, you're the listener,
but I'm bringing you into thisprocess of well, you're gonna
(22:14):
have to dive into the scriptureand answer some questions.
I'm not gonna spoon feed youevery single point, one, point
two, point three.
You, every single point, one,point two, point three, tie it
all up with a bow and it's done.
You know and like, obviously,as the one running it, you
should be prepared and knowthese answers and know how to
steer the conversation.
(22:34):
But it just gives more buy-inand it's a discipleship tool for
how to deal with scripture andit gives them tools to think
critically about scripture, todig deeper, to ask good
questions, to do a little moreinvestigation, to ask the
question why, instead of justsit there, like you know, feed
me.
You know it's a life skill andit makes it more exciting as
(22:58):
well.
And I like to point studentstoward, you know, bible study
tools that they can usethemselves.
I'm like guys when I prep asermon, I go to enduring wordcom
.
Guess what you can too.
You know it's not like I'm theone who is only allowed on the
internet and these commentaries,everyone can do this.
(23:19):
So if you're stuck on a verseor you don't understand, guess
what, we might have to do alittle more work and look it up
and teach them how to study theBible.
I think that's a tool that theyusually don't develop until
they're an adult and have to do,maybe, bible study homework.
So that's another tool ofdiscipleship.
(23:42):
And then, lastly, this one'smore of a mindset, and I call
this one five-minutediscipleship, and it's just this
idea that every single time yousee a student, it's an
opportunity for discipleship,every single time.
And I've noticed single time,and I've noticed I think this is
(24:02):
so ingrained in how I operatenow that I'm like when it comes
to students, like it's amazing,like what a little five minute
like before youth group starts,or in between first and second
service, or staying late, likesome of the best conversations
(24:23):
I've had with students.
I remember one time after youthgroup a student stayed late and
we were in the kitchen cleaningup and it was turned into like
a half an hour conversationabout just some struggles she
was having.
And it was like this very deep,connecting moment, so much so
(24:44):
that she wrote me a letter afterand said I don't know if that
meant a lot to you, but it meanta lot to me and I just wanted
to thank you so much for likebeing available and it was just
like we were working alongsideeach other and you know, she
just started opening up aboutsome stuff that was going on.
It's like plan for thatunplanned time, like can you ask
a good question?
Can you just like?
(25:06):
And I I sometimes feel thispressure of like I only have you
for three years and in that Isee you twice a week for a
couple of hours and if I can geta good conversation in with you
, I totally am going to takethat opportunity.
So what does that look likeWalking down the hall at church
(25:28):
instead of just like, hey, dude,how's your weekend?
Just like hey, remember thatthing like last year, like how
are you feeling about that?
Or how do you feel like you'vegrown this last year you know in
your faith, like, or what hasGod been teaching you this year?
You know, I like asking, youknow, my students who have gone
(25:48):
on to high school, like so likewhere's your faith at, or what?
Who's your small group leader?
What are you learning in yoursmall group?
Where are you being challengedright now?
And just taking thatopportunity, just we literally
are just walking down the hallto the bathroom or something
like that, or sitting next toeach other on the bus on the way
(26:09):
to an event or in the car ifwe're going somewhere.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
But camp a lot of times is a really great time to
have those conversations.
I remember when, uh, this isback at forest home and one of
the boys in my cabin asked aquestion, I could tell there was
like a lot on his heart rightas we were going to be going to
like the nightly worship orsomething was happening, and so
I thought I'd be serving betterby staying back with this kid
(26:35):
and talking with him than goingwith everybody else to the
nightly worship thing, and so wedid that and he just totally
opened up about some of thestuff going on in his life and
it was a really impactful timethat I'm really glad.
I didn't like, well, you know,we got to get going you know,
because I mean, I would haveenjoyed that, and I'm sure he
(26:55):
would have too, but we reallywouldn't have like gotten, you
know, to the heart of what wasgoing on in his life, had I just
been in so much of a rush tokeep the schedule you know.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
Right and exactly what you're saying.
Like you're, you always, areready, you know, to like, take
this where it needs to go.
Like time is short a lot oftimes with these students, so
take every opportunity for ameaningful conversation.
You know I've just noticedbeing an expert at asking good
(27:24):
questions.
You can usually get to with youand this kid to the heart of
what's going on.
I just sometimes start askingabout their family or their
friends or little things likethat and you'll kind of read
between the lines of well, Idon't't know, I don't really
(27:45):
have any friends.
Well, what happened?
I'm sure you've had a friend andwas there falling out or just
be a really curious goodquestion, asker, and not in a
way and this is why questionasking such an art because you
don't want to come off as likeI'm an investigator, you know
and tell me everything, but justa genuine curiosity and care.
(28:07):
And people tend to open up andnot always.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
It's not like I have 100 percent success.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
You know of whatever.
But when I can tell people arenot into it, it's like all right
, well, good, I'm glad you'rehere.
You know I missed you.
Give them a hug, you know, givethem a compliment, let them
know that you're a fan and youcan move on and try again
another time.
But as a youth pastor, as ayouth worker, volunteer,
(28:33):
whatever role you're in, it'sjust, we're always ready to have
a meaningful conversation witha student.
Every conversation can turninto discipleship, because,
because sometimes discipleshipis restorative, just like I care
about you.
So you know, in the beginning wetalked a lot about discipleship
as challenging them and likeaccountability and pushing them.
(28:55):
But discipleship, on the otherend too, is Jesus models a lot
of just the care and the concernand the relationship and the
love that he had for those whowere his.
And I think we model thatthrough just seeing every
opportunity or every interactionas an opportunity, like nothing
(29:19):
is gone to waste, nothing isjust.
You know they say that there'sno neutral interactions.
You know they're just eitherpositive and moving us closer to
a goal, or they're negative andtaking away from the goal.
But there's very few neutralinteractions.
You know they're doingsomething and the crazy thing is
(29:42):
sometimes you don't even know.
Like I had a student write me aletter this summer about how
much I mean to her and how muchshe looks up to me and all of
that, and it was like theprobably the best part of my
entire summer actually.
But I had no idea.
It's not like she all the timewas like Kristen, I love you,
you're the best.
You know.
It was just like intentional,intentional, intentional every
(30:05):
time I saw her and not muchfeedback either way.
But then like oh my gosh, thisletter of her pouring out her
heart about it.
She got me a gift and justwanted to say thank you and all
this stuff and I was like, wow,like there's so much going on
underneath the surface withpeople sometimes that we just
don't even realize yeah, if youguys want to go deeper in any of
(30:26):
these topics, I would guide youto one of several episodes.
Speaker 2 (30:29):
If you're looking to start a student leadership team,
make sure you check out theepisode we did all about how to
launch a student leadership team.
And then also we recently didone about how to encourage
students to sign up, becausejust because you have one, maybe
you don't know how to pitch theidea to them in a good way.
So make sure you check that out.
And then also we have some aton, I think on small groups,
(30:50):
but we'll link them all below.
But one of them in particularis how to run an effective small
group to make the most of thetime that you have with your
students.
It might even be something thatyou want to send to any of your
volunteers to help them lead asmall group.
So here.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
You need this.
You might benefit from knowingthese things.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
All right, we're going to do a community comment
of the day.
This comes from Michael Stevens, who says oh, and also this
comes from the episode we did onthe youth room tour.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
They love that.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
Yeah, I'm going through those right now.
And so this is the next one.
Who says Michael?
Michael steven says you have mydream set up.
I'm at a small church plant inutah, but I got a ton of great
ideas.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
Thank you hey, michael, I hear you.
I was once at a very smallchurch plant not in utah but
here and this I, when you guyswatch that, just know it's my
dream, set up too, and it wasabout um 12 years, something
(31:49):
like that, 12 or 13 years in themaking before we got to have a
room like that.
But I feel it when, like I hopeyou guys are never like well,
well must be nice.
It is nice.
However, you should have seenit before, like we weren't even
in this building.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
We were just Gorilla church, where you have to bring
everything in, take everythingout.
So, for those of you who haveto do that, definitely feel for
your I see you your plight, sothank you, michael, we really
appreciate that and we thank youguys for watching and listening
and we'll see you next time.
When they go out to get them,can't they only bring one
highlighter?
What are they called Glow space?
Speaker 1 (32:28):
Are you looking to have more energy in your smaller
youth group?
Well then, stick around,because I have five ways.
Today, we're talking about fiveways to take a small youth
group.
As a youth pastor, as a youth worker, volunteer.
Whatever role you're in, it'sjust we're always ready to have
a meaningful conversation with astudent.
Every conversation can turninto discipleship.
Today we're talking about fourdiscipleship strategies to help
grow your youth.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Welcome to the Ministry Coach Podcast where
every week we give youactionable and practical tips to
help you grow your youthministry.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
My name is Jeff Laskola and this is Kristen
Laskola, and today we aretalking about discipleship
strategies to grow your youthministry.
And our mission statement atNorth Coast Church for years and
years and years as long as Ican remember, as long as I've
worked there, which has been along time is making disciples in
(00:54):
a healthy church environmentFor the staff.
We tweak that slightly and it'smaking disciples in a healthy
and productive churchenvironment.
And so a decision like sometimes, as youth pastors, I think we
get really excited and motivatedby decisions Like how many kids
(01:16):
accepted Jesus at camp, howmany kids accepted Jesus at this
altar call or whatever, andthat is exciting and we should
measure that and we should paythat and we should pay attention
to the decisions.
But that is really not the endof the road when it comes to
what we need to be focused on.
So we always say we're intomaking disciples, not just
(01:38):
decisions.
So decisions are a greatstarting off point, but Jesus
didn't ask us to simply make adecision for him.
He said follow me.
And that's basically whatdiscipleship comes down to is
we're getting people to go fromA to B and B to C and so on and
so forth in their relationshipwith following Jesus, not simply
(02:03):
.
Well, I said a prayer once inthird grade.
I guess I'm good you know, and,to be honest, I think we may
have talked about this on thepodcast before.
I grew up believing that youknow, and I don't know that it
was anyone's fault.
I mean, I went to a Christianschool my whole life, up until
my sophomore year of high school, and I had gone to church with
(02:25):
my parents.
I went to you know like therewas Bible class in chapel and I
was inundated with biblicalknowledge.
I knew a lot.
However, I was still under thisimpression that once you ask
Jesus into your heart quoteyou're good to go and there's
nothing that can ever take thataway.
(02:47):
And as I kind of developed inmy own faith, I sort of started
to realize I think I might bemissing something here.
You know that, and it was thediscipleship process.
Like it doesn't just like weliken it some sometimes to like
a wedding ceremony, you know,like if you and I get married
and I say I do, and then I'mlike, well, I have a date later,
(03:10):
you know, see you later.
It's like wait a minute.
Just because you said I dodoesn't give you a license to do
whatever you want, but we'restill married, it's like, well,
I guess on paper, but that's norelationship and it's similar.
And that's kind of the wholeidea of what we're trying to
teach our students is hey, guys,a decision is a really good
(03:31):
first step.
You've acknowledged your beliefin Jesus, like in the Bible
talks about that, like thatconfession with your mouth, the
belief in your heart.
Those are all important pieces,but we can't leave out now what
the journey with our students.
So how do we do that?
How do we disciple our studentsso that they become Jesus
(03:51):
followers?
Not a flash in the pan.
I made a decision.
You know, I think a lot of timesabout the parable of the sower
and the seed, you know, and Ithink the first one is very much
.
That is like, yeah, I'm excited, sweet Jesus, let's go.
And then it's like, you knowyou're kind of over it, or life
gets in the way, or you getdistracted, or you know people
(04:15):
say Christianity didn't work forme or something.
It's like whoa.
Then you have a very limitedunderstanding of what this is,
because there was nothing thatwas supposed to work.
Oh, salvation from hell didn'twork for you.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Just not my.
Thing.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Okay, I think we have a misunderstanding here, and
one of the best books I've everread on this and I feel like
it's one of those books I shouldprobably read like a couple of
times a year for the rest of mylife as long as I'm in
vocational ministry is StopAsking Jesus Into your Heart by
JD Greer, and I found it at thislittle thrift store in Santa
(04:54):
Barbara like on a whim.
We were checking out and I'mlike what's this bright yellow
book?
This is interesting Stop AskingJesus into your heart, Like the
title caught me like what, and Iended up taking it to our
student ministry team at NorthCoast and we all read it and
discussed it together, becausethe message we could
(05:18):
inadvertently be giving ourstudents is the one that I just
mentioned growing up with oflike, all we are asking, guys,
is that you quote ask Jesus intoyour heart and there's your
fire insurance, no matter whatyou do for the rest of your life
, when the biblical narrativeand what Jesus is asking us to
do is a little bit more thanjust that you know it's simple
(05:42):
and complex all at the same time.
We always describe the gospel asa diamond and every time you
turn it you see a new facet inthe way the light hit it and you
see a new angle.
And I mean, I've been aChristian since I was four years
old and I still see new facetsof the gospel every single time
(06:02):
I open the Bible or pray or heara sermon, particularly Tim
Keller, I mean.
Every time I hear him I'm like,do I even know the gospel?
Oh my gosh, I've never seenthat before.
And it's not like, ooh, a newgospel, it's just the way he
said it.
I'm like, oh my gosh, yes,you're right.
So, so good.
I love Tim Keller, but anyways,how do we do this?
(06:25):
So for me, in my opinion, Ithink that the number one way to
get people on a discipleshipjourney is through serving.
I think that is the mostpowerful way to metaphorically
get people off the bench andinto the game when it comes to
their faith in Christianity.
(06:46):
So to me, that's the number onetool.
But let me go a step furtherand say how we get them.
Serving is really, reallyimportant, and I think that's
sort of where, like, the secretsauce is is not just like all
right, here's a badge.
You're in room two with thethree-year-olds Bada bing, bada
boom.
See you later Servingdiscipleship.
(07:07):
Did it check?
It's a little more intentionalthan that and I make fun of that
, but I think that's the way alot of churches operate is oh,
you are on a serving team.
Now let me move on to the nextperson.
Are you serving?
And we think, just like, makinga decision is the end all be
(07:30):
all of being a Christian.
We think being on a servingteam means we did our job and
it's like well, how did we do it?
Though?
So it's not just, you know, gowatch these kids or go push this
button or just set up thisstuff, or whatever their serving
job in particular is.
(07:52):
It's done in the context.
I like to do serving in thecontext of like a leadership
team, and we talk a lot aboutstudent leadership teams, you
know, and how they're just vitalto the culture of your youth
ministry.
But what we want to do, and whyit's important to be a part of
the team, is because I want toteach you godly character and
(08:15):
leadership principles, and thenyou serving is when you're
putting those into action.
So it's like serving is theplatform that you use, the more
important thing, which is thesecharacter lessons we're talking
about.
So, for example, we had ourfirst SOS meeting on Friday.
It was super fun.
(08:36):
We have the biggest leadershipteam we've ever had in my youth
ministry.
Kids are excited to getinvolved ever had in my youth
ministry.
Kids are excited to getinvolved, and what I was talking
to them about is I was tellingthem a story of a girl who I
just randomly ran into in asubway and I was like oh yeah,
I'm taking this sandwich down tothe beach.
(08:57):
I'm having an event for my youthgroup and she's like what
church do you go to?
And we started chatting,chatting, chatting.
She was a young adult, she wasout of high school and she just
started opening up about how shewent to a church.
And she's like I was kind ofemo in high school and so I got
made fun of a lot and basicallythe story was she got bullied
(09:20):
out of the church and she's likeyou know, I really want to go
back to church someday, but Idon't know like I had such a bad
experience.
I'm just watching it online.
So it was really excited forher that it wasn't like so God
isn't real.
You know, it was like sheunderstood the difference
between Christians that arejerks and that God is still God.
(09:41):
So it wasn't like this verylost cause.
But she was like, ah, I'm notreally ready to step foot back
in a church and I said I don'tblame you.
I said, whatever, take yourtime, you know like it'll, it'll
still be there and you'll findthe right one when you're ready
to come back.
But so what I did is I took thatlesson to my student leadership
team and I said, hey, the waywe treat people is the
(10:05):
difference between themcontinuing to come to church and
them being so scared of thepeople there that it's now a
barrier to their relationshipwith other Christians.
I said how sad is that?
So what can we do?
Like, yeah, maybe your job istech, but when a new kid walks
(10:27):
in the room, how do you treatthem?
Well, let's look at how Jesustreated outcasts and if we're
following Jesus's example.
So now we're doing discipleship, like discipleship's happening.
I'm telling you, this is howJesus treats people.
This is how you can treatpeople.
This is what's at stake.
Now I'm giving you a jobthrough serving, where you can
(10:49):
actually do this.
Maybe you know like you see anew kid who's kind of nervous
and you say, hey, why don't youcome and sit with us?
Why don't you be on our team,whatever?
So Any kid can do that, whetherthey're a part of a serving
team or not.
But I just feel like whenthey're a part of a serving team
, it's this extra trainingground where I get this
(11:10):
opportunity to really, like,speak these lessons into their
lives and challenge them withthis godly character stuff.
And so you know we teachstudents all kinds of lessons
every month how to put peopleabove yourself.
Like when you're uncomfortable,are you willing to sacrifice
that for the sake of someoneelse.
(11:30):
Well, how did Jesus sacrificehis comfortability for us?
And you know what was at stakefor him and what's at stake for
us.
You're having these deepconversations and then giving
them action items.
So sometimes you know I'vetalked about before these
students will need a nudge.
You know like I'll be likeshoulder tap, like all right,
(11:50):
blue sweater, brand new.
I already said hi, I mean, myconversation can only go so far.
Go and invite her to sit withyou.
I don't know.
I'm like okay, so let's talkabout rejection.
You may walk into a situationwhere you get rejected right now
Again, what did Jesus I mean,he's very familiar with
(12:11):
rejection like, but what is atstake is greater than, oh well,
you're rejected and then youmove on, you know, and so you
start to peel away, like we'regetting to the heart of Jesus,
we're getting to the heart of.
I'm willing to emulate him inthis situation and so sometimes
I push them toward it, you know.
(12:32):
And then we have a talk aboutit afterwards.
Or I see, one of our studentswas really great with a special
needs student and she was justtaxed at the end of it because
it was very high needsrelationally and a lot of
touching and a lot, you know.
And I just kept looking at herlike you're doing great.
You're doing okay, you're doingokay.
And she kind of broke at theend of it, like oh, I'm like
(12:55):
really overwhelmed and I'm like,I see you, you did a really
good job and you loved that girland it was hard.
Now let's talk about how loveis hard sometimes, like love
takes from us.
It's not always this like ooh,like this giddy feeling.
Sometimes love just sucks thelife out of us.
Let's bring it back to Jesus.
Like how did he love us in away that just literally depleted
(13:18):
him, like I can think of amillion examples, right.
So we're always bringing itback to Jesus and when we have
that in the context of a servingteam, I think we have a
platform to really sharpen themand then send them out, just
like Jesus did.
So it's like the huddle.
We talk about it.
I see you, you're going tosometimes feel like a sheep
(13:39):
among wolves.
Now go.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
You know, and that's what he did.
He paired them up and sent themout and it was the team huddle
and you know.
But he didn't make it easy forthem and I feel like we need to
challenge students.
That's part of discipleship ischallenging them, and that's why
I like, again I do.
I like doing it in the contextof a student leadership team,
because when you sign up forthat team, you're saying please
(14:03):
challenge me, Please disciple me.
I'm ready to go deeper, I'mready to go further.
And now I feel this permission,even more so, to be like hey,
this is what you signed up for,this is ministry.
I know you thought it was goingto be just like yay, I get more
attention now and my picture'sup in the youth room, but this
(14:24):
is loving people.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
This is tough.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
So that's the first way of get students serving.
And secondly, how we disciplestudents is through a thriving
relationship with a caring adultwhich would be hopefully more
than just you.
It would be their small groupleader.
So discipleship it's justimpossible for it to happen
outside of relationship.
(14:47):
There's just no way.
So if you don't have a smallgroup ministry in your youth
group, I cannot emphasize thatenough.
Relationship is the key toeverything we do in youth
ministry.
So small groups for me are anabsolute, non-negotiable.
Like if I I honestly, if Ididn't have small groups in my
(15:10):
ministry right now, that wouldbe the number one thing I would
do.
I would do that before studentleadership team.
It would be.
I don't.
I don't even know how to do ayouth ministry without small
groups.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Like it basically is talking for a lot longer.
It is playing more games.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
Like that is like the hub of everything we do.
So students need to be known ina capacity that their small
group leader can know them anddisciple them and have a window
into, like what's really goingon in a crowd.
A window into, like what'sreally going on in a crowd.
You can hide very easily.
(15:49):
You know you don't have anopportunity to ask questions,
you don't have an opportunity toshare.
Like at the end of a sermon Inever say does anyone have any
prayer requests?
Like that's just for me and mysize and setting and context.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
It's not the setting for that You'd have a lot of
neighbor's cats who are lost andpray that they come back.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Because that would be the most safe prayer request.
You know what I mean.
Imagine a group like your crushis sitting right next to you
and you're really going to raiseyour hand and say whatever.
Or those girls that intimidateyou a little bit and you think
they're going to make your handand say whatever.
Or those girls that you knowintimidate you a little bit and
you think they're going to makefun of you.
Or just joe schmo, like youdon't even know his name, like
you're really going to open yourheart now and share a real
(16:35):
prayer request, but in thecontext of a small group, with a
small group leader that youknow cares for you and you have
a relationship with.
That's where we get real and wecan talk about real things.
And then you know training yoursmall group leaders of how to
have really good and meaningfulconversations with students.
And I think sometimes I strugglewith that, you know, because
(16:59):
the small groups, like.
One thing we struggle withmajorly is keeping them small
enough for this kind of stuff tohappen.
We have a very good problemthat students continue to invite
their friends.
I see new faces every singleweek but what that does to our
small groups is they keepgetting exponentially bigger and
I'm running out of space andI'm running out of leaders and
(17:21):
sometimes we keep them together,but it's like the depth of
relationship.
Exactly.
It's like the depth ofrelationship can only go so far
when you're in a room full of 21other seventh grade boys, like
that's not really healthy.
So that's what I reallystruggle with is keeping the
(17:41):
size small enough to where wecan open up and share and it's
not just like a surface leveldiscussion.
So make sure you're keepingyour small groups at a good size
to where you feel likeeveryone's getting a chance to
share, everyone has a connectionwith each other, everyone feels
safe and has some relationalbonds so that now life can start
(18:03):
to happen and we can talk aboutsomething real and not just
answer the questions on the talksheet but like talk about what
is going on in our life.
That's Christian community.
That's what students need.
They need a place to be realand to be vulnerable, and that's
the part of, you know,discipleship like we're talking
about.
So I think our small groupleaders are sort of the key to
(18:26):
that and you could give themexamples of like, hey, here's
how we go below the surface withstudents and that happens over
time.
You know, it's not just likeyou go from zero to 60, but you
know you get to know studentsand then give them like the
questions to ask, you know to ifthey have the opportunity to
(18:49):
get below the surface withstudents and when students are
ready to open up, they reallyopen up.
Junior hires tend to, I feellike, open up a little quicker,
you know, than high schoolers,but high schoolers tend to be
able to go a little deepersometimes.
It just depends.
And so the third method or tipfor discipleship would be
(19:12):
possibly changing up your sermonstyle.
So we were talking about in ameeting this week how I think
it's Kara Powell from the FullerYouth Institute and how she's
talking a lot right now abouthow the like lecture sermons
style is just dead Right andit's like just you getting up
(19:34):
there having a monologue.
Blah, blah, blah, like I amright now is just like very dead
.
I'm very interested though.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Keep going, okay.
I see you keep swallowing youryawns.
No, I'm not, you're not.
No, I'm very interested, though, keep going Okay.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
I see you keep swallowing your yawns, no.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
I'm not, you're not.
No, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
Okay, then you're making weird faces.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
I'm probably burping.
Oh, it's a burp.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
Okay, I'm like you're swallowing air.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
I can tell what a weirdo I'm burping, probably, I
think you figured it out.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
So you could do more of like round table discussions.
This was one of our seniorpastor's ideas for us this week.
He's like so what, if you like,throw out a Bible story and you
guys all read it, and then youask a question like why did
Jesus blah, blah, blah and then,you give them some time to talk
about it, and then you ask aquestion like why did Jesus blah
, blah, blah?
And then you give them some timeto talk about it and then you
(20:26):
kind of go around the room Allright, what'd you guys come up
with?
And so it's more interactive.
You could kind of do it like atalk show a little bit.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
You know like Do you mean like changing it up kind of
every now and then, but likenot completely changing your
format?
To this we now are just a talkshow.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
I not completely changing your format to this.
We now are just a talk show.
I mean, if it works for you,why not?
You know, I don't think, as hewas talking about it, it worked
very well for him when he was ayouth pastor and he saw a lot of
fruit from it.
He said, however, you need tobe able to control a room and
you need to have, you need toknow your group to know if
something like this will work.
My students I love them.
(21:06):
They're so cute, so fun.
I don't know that we could betotally successful at this.
I think I could do this with mystudent leadership team, but on
a typical Tuesday night youthgroup, I don't know that they're
mature enough for this to work.
But I think it could work verywell with our high school group.
You know, know that they'remature enough for this to work,
but I think it could work verywell with our high school group.
You know, I've guest spoke forthem and observed their like
(21:31):
demeanor and their culture andtheir vibe.
I think it would be excellentfor them.
And so I remember being a partof that, I think, like you know,
in a college group or something, and it would be like your
table talks about it, and thenwe turn our attention back to,
you know, the main group and thespeaker, and they might even
pass the mic around like, allright, what did you think?
Or what answers did you guyscome up with?
(21:53):
And now it's like a Bible study, but like on a larger group
scale, and I think that's agreat form of discipleship, of
like, hey, we are grappling withthe scripture together.
It's not just like, uh, I'm thespeaker, you're the listener,
but I'm bringing you into thisprocess of well, you're gonna
(22:14):
have to dive into the scriptureand answer some questions.
I'm not gonna spoon feed youevery single point, one, point
two, point three.
You, every single point, one,point two, point three, tie it
all up with a bow and it's done.
You know and like, obviously,as the one running it, you
should be prepared and knowthese answers and know how to
steer the conversation.
(22:34):
But it just gives more buy-inand it's a discipleship tool for
how to deal with scripture andit gives them tools to think
critically about scripture, todig deeper, to ask good
questions, to do a little moreinvestigation, to ask the
question why, instead of justsit there, like you know, feed
me.
You know it's a life skill andit makes it more exciting as
(22:58):
well.
And I like to point studentstoward, you know, bible study
tools that they can usethemselves.
I'm like guys when I prep asermon, I go to enduring wordcom
.
Guess what you can too.
You know it's not like I'm theone who is only allowed on the
internet and these commentaries,everyone can do this.
(23:19):
So if you're stuck on a verseor you don't understand, guess
what, we might have to do alittle more work and look it up
and teach them how to study theBible.
I think that's a tool that theyusually don't develop until
they're an adult and have to do,maybe, bible study homework.
So that's another tool ofdiscipleship.
(23:42):
And then, lastly, this one'smore of a mindset, and I call
this one five-minutediscipleship, and it's just this
idea that every single time yousee a student, it's an
opportunity for discipleship,every single time.
And I've noticed single time,and I've noticed I think this is
(24:02):
so ingrained in how I operatenow that I'm like when it comes
to students, like it's amazing,like what a little five minute
like before youth group starts,or in between first and second
service, or staying late, likesome of the best conversations
(24:23):
I've had with students.
I remember one time after youthgroup a student stayed late and
we were in the kitchen cleaningup and it was turned into like
a half an hour conversationabout just some struggles she
was having.
And it was like this very deep,connecting moment, so much so
(24:44):
that she wrote me a letter afterand said I don't know if that
meant a lot to you, but it meanta lot to me and I just wanted
to thank you so much for likebeing available and it was just
like we were working alongsideeach other and you know, she
just started opening up aboutsome stuff that was going on.
It's like plan for thatunplanned time, like can you ask
a good question?
Can you just like?
(25:06):
And I I sometimes feel thispressure of like I only have you
for three years and in that Isee you twice a week for a
couple of hours and if I can geta good conversation in with you
, I totally am going to takethat opportunity.
So what does that look likeWalking down the hall at church
(25:28):
instead of just like, hey, dude,how's your weekend?
Just like hey, remember thatthing like last year, like how
are you feeling about that?
Or how do you feel like you'vegrown this last year you know in
your faith, like, or what hasGod been teaching you this year?
You know, I like asking, youknow, my students who have gone
(25:48):
on to high school, like so likewhere's your faith at, or what?
Who's your small group leader?
What are you learning in yoursmall group?
Where are you being challengedright now?
And just taking thatopportunity, just we literally
are just walking down the hallto the bathroom or something
like that, or sitting next toeach other on the bus on the way
(26:09):
to an event or in the car ifwe're going somewhere.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
But camp a lot of times is a really great time to
have those conversations.
I remember when, uh, this isback at forest home and one of
the boys in my cabin asked aquestion, I could tell there was
like a lot on his heart rightas we were going to be going to
like the nightly worship orsomething was happening, and so
I thought I'd be serving betterby staying back with this kid
(26:35):
and talking with him than goingwith everybody else to the
nightly worship thing, and so wedid that and he just totally
opened up about some of thestuff going on in his life and
it was a really impactful timethat I'm really glad.
I didn't like, well, you know,we got to get going you know,
because I mean, I would haveenjoyed that, and I'm sure he
(26:55):
would have too, but we reallywouldn't have like gotten, you
know, to the heart of what wasgoing on in his life, had I just
been in so much of a rush tokeep the schedule you know.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
Right and exactly what you're saying.
Like you're, you always, areready, you know, to like, take
this where it needs to go.
Like time is short a lot oftimes with these students, so
take every opportunity for ameaningful conversation.
You know I've just noticedbeing an expert at asking good
(27:24):
questions.
You can usually get to with youand this kid to the heart of
what's going on.
I just sometimes start askingabout their family or their
friends or little things likethat and you'll kind of read
between the lines of well, Idon't't know, I don't really
(27:45):
have any friends.
Well, what happened?
I'm sure you've had a friend andwas there falling out or just
be a really curious goodquestion, asker, and not in a
way and this is why questionasking such an art because you
don't want to come off as likeI'm an investigator, you know
and tell me everything, but justa genuine curiosity and care.
(28:07):
And people tend to open up andnot always.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
It's not like I have 100 percent success.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
You know of whatever.
But when I can tell people arenot into it, it's like all right
, well, good, I'm glad you'rehere.
You know I missed you.
Give them a hug, you know, givethem a compliment, let them
know that you're a fan and youcan move on and try again
another time.
But as a youth pastor, as ayouth worker, volunteer,
(28:33):
whatever role you're in, it'sjust, we're always ready to have
a meaningful conversation witha student.
Every conversation can turninto discipleship, because,
because sometimes discipleshipis restorative, just like I care
about you.
So you know, in the beginning wetalked a lot about discipleship
as challenging them and likeaccountability and pushing them.
(28:55):
But discipleship, on the otherend too, is Jesus models a lot
of just the care and the concernand the relationship and the
love that he had for those whowere his.
And I think we model thatthrough just seeing every
opportunity or every interactionas an opportunity, like nothing
(29:19):
is gone to waste, nothing isjust.
You know they say that there'sno neutral interactions.
You know they're just eitherpositive and moving us closer to
a goal, or they're negative andtaking away from the goal.
But there's very few neutralinteractions.
You know they're doingsomething and the crazy thing is
(29:42):
sometimes you don't even know.
Like I had a student write me aletter this summer about how
much I mean to her and how muchshe looks up to me and all of
that, and it was like theprobably the best part of my
entire summer actually.
But I had no idea.
It's not like she all the timewas like Kristen, I love you,
you're the best.
You know.
It was just like intentional,intentional, intentional every
(30:05):
time I saw her and not muchfeedback either way.
But then like oh my gosh, thisletter of her pouring out her
heart about it.
She got me a gift and justwanted to say thank you and all
this stuff and I was like, wow,like there's so much going on
underneath the surface withpeople sometimes that we just
don't even realize yeah, if youguys want to go deeper in any of
(30:26):
these topics, I would guide youto one of several episodes.
Speaker 2 (30:29):
If you're looking to start a student leadership team,
make sure you check out theepisode we did all about how to
launch a student leadership team.
And then also we recently didone about how to encourage
students to sign up, becausejust because you have one, maybe
you don't know how to pitch theidea to them in a good way.
So make sure you check that out.
And then also we have some aton, I think on small groups,
(30:50):
but we'll link them all below.
But one of them in particularis how to run an effective small
group to make the most of thetime that you have with your
students.
It might even be something thatyou want to send to any of your
volunteers to help them lead asmall group.
So here.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
You need this.
You might benefit from knowingthese things.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
All right, we're going to do a community comment
of the day.
This comes from Michael Stevens, who says oh, and also this
comes from the episode we did onthe youth room tour.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
They love that.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
Yeah, I'm going through those right now.
And so this is the next one.
Who says Michael?
Michael steven says you have mydream set up.
I'm at a small church plant inutah, but I got a ton of great
ideas.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
Thank you hey, michael, I hear you.
I was once at a very smallchurch plant not in utah but
here and this I, when you guyswatch that, just know it's my
dream, set up too, and it wasabout um 12 years, something
(31:49):
like that, 12 or 13 years in themaking before we got to have a
room like that.
But I feel it when, like I hopeyou guys are never like well,
well must be nice.
It is nice.
However, you should have seenit before, like we weren't even
in this building.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
We were just Gorilla church, where you have to bring
everything in, take everythingout.
So, for those of you who haveto do that, definitely feel for
your I see you your plight, sothank you, michael, we really
appreciate that and we thank youguys for watching and listening
and we'll see you next time.
When they go out to get them,can't they only bring one
highlighter?
What are they called Glow space?
Speaker 1 (32:28):
Are you looking to have more energy in your smaller
youth group?
Well then, stick around,because I have five ways.
Today, we're talking about fiveways to take a small youth
group.
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