April 3, 2025 • 31 mins
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GrowYourYouthMinistry.com *** Ever notice that student sitting on the edge of your youth group? The one who's physically present but emotionally miles away? Reaching disengaged students can be a challenging—yet very rewarding—aspect of youth ministry. Whether they're painfully shy, openly hostile, or just too mature for typical youth activities, these students represent an opportunity to demonstrate what authentic community truly means.
Through years of youth ministry experience, we've discovered that connecting with disengaged students isn't about having a perfect program—it's about implementing intentional strategies that meet these students exactly where they are. Listen for practical techniques to help every student in your ministry find their place—because sometimes the most disengaged students become your most connected students in your student ministry.
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You may also enjoy these episodes:
(#215) How to Connect with Introverted Students in Your Youth Ministry
(#092) Mistakes to Avoid When a New Student Comes to Your Youth Ministry
(#036) How to Get New Students Connected to Your Youth Group
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Today we're talking about four ways to help you
reach disengaged students inyour youth ministry.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Welcome to the Ministry Coach Podcast, where we
give you weekly tips andtactics to help you fast-track
the growth and health of youryouth ministry.
My name is Jeff Laskola andthis is Kristen Laskola.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
And today we are talking about four strategies to
help you reach disengagedstudents in your youth ministry,
and we've all had thosestudents that, for whatever
reason, they're just notconnecting, and I feel like
there's such a spectrum of thetype of kid who is not
(00:49):
connecting.
Sometimes they're just shy yeahand they're waiting for someone
to be like come on, sometimesthey're a little more hostile,
like they don't want to be there.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Parents forced them to go, and they don't want to be
there.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Yeah, and maybe they're just kind of a like an
independent type, and I've evenhad kids who, like felt almost
too mature to be there, like youcould just tell like, wow, you
might be an 11 year old body,but you, you've seen some stuff.
(01:25):
Like you, you're like an adult,you know, and you're like, what
these games, you know, what isthis?
And so I just feel like therecan be so many different reasons
why students are not engagingsuper easily in your youth
ministry.
And I will be honest, this isnot like my foolproof plan to
(01:47):
win people over, like this isjust stuff I've defaulted to
over the years and sometimesthey don't Like there's been
plenty of kids who it's just Idon't think we're for you and
I've seen them flourish in othertype of ministries.
Or maybe they just weren'tready for like a church
(02:08):
community, but maybe somewherein the future they will be and
so don't take their.
I think it's hard not to takeit personally when they don't
want to be a part of things orget discouraged.
You know, I feel like one ofthose two feelings is pretty
common.
Like man, I just can't win thiskid over.
Or wow, like, why do you hateus, you know, and so just
(02:33):
there's could be like the levelsof complexity underneath why
they're not engaging could befar beyond what you could ever
figure out or reach and havezero percent to do with you or
your youth ministry.
Right, or maybe they do have alot to do with you, who knows.
But all I'm saying is there's acouple of things you could do
(02:55):
to try to engage them intocommunity at church, because
sometimes they really are readyfor it and they just don't know
how to jump in.
And that's where you come in,and I've seen like dozens of
success stories where that kidwas, like you know, just kind of
a loner or didn't really wantto talk or super shy or didn't
(03:18):
have any friends.
And I just went to the babyshower of one this last week
who's an adult married woman now, who I got to baptize, lead to
the Lord, and she was like thisshy little girl.
You know.
I'll talk more about her.
So first, in this strategy,it's not even like a strategy.
It's kind of just like what Idefault to.
(03:39):
I'm not like scheming, like wow, what is my strategy here?
It's more of just like theseare things that I've sensed I
should not like scheming like,wow, what is my strategy here?
It's more of just like these arethings that I've sensed I
should probably do this.
So the first one is you as theministry lead, as the youth
pastor, youth director, whatever.
It is so important that you betheir first connection and I've
(04:02):
noticed with some of my studentsthat are a little more shy or a
little more disengaged, mebeing their first connection has
been really helpful.
It's almost like you arehelping them feel safe until
they get their wings to fly ontheir own, like I've had
(04:22):
students who are very clingywith me because they know I'm a
safe, like soft landing spotwhere I'm always going to
welcome them with open arms.
I'm always going to includethem.
I'm always going to make a bigdeal about them being here and
excited and get them included.
What are we doing?
Let's play a game how was yourweekend?
And they will kind of likehover next to me, like out of
(04:46):
safety, until they get their ownsocial wings.
And then some of them it's like, oh, remember me, like you
never talked to me anymore.
That's okay, cause you havecommunity now.
But I feel like the youth pastorbeing that initial soft landing
spot for them is a really goodidea because you, as the youth
pastor or any ministry leader, Ifeel like one thing you really
(05:11):
have to tap into.
And I started doing thiswithout realizing I was doing it
, and maybe it's because I'm athree on the Enneagram and we're
very good at being chameleonsLike what do you need me to be?
That's what I'll be today.
But that really worked to myadvantage with these newer kids
because I was trying, withoutrealizing it, to have like the
(05:33):
EQ to match their energy.
So, like I have a lot of energy, I can be like really hyper and
silly and friendly and over thetop Overwhelming.
That felt personal.
Jeff, are you overwhelmed?
I thought.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
I was just adding to the list of things, sorry.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
I wouldn't have said that.
I wouldn't have said that.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Overbearing.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
I would have said, yeah, it could be overwhelming.
But like I tried to dissecttheir personality in the first
few seconds of talking with themand it's like, what do you need
me to be for you?
Because I can be up here or Ican come down?
I totally can, Jeff, you know,and I can do everything in
(06:19):
between, Like if you're wanting,like one of my students, he is
just so silly and every time hesees me, like we start singing
wicked even though I've neverseen wicked like I just like
pretend to sing along and hethinks it's hilarious and we do
our little dances.
And then like another girl,she's super calm and so I just
(06:41):
sit next to her and I talk toher about what she did this week
and we talk about coffee andstuff like that and she's super
chill.
And then another one just islike always just wants to be
near me.
You know, like I put my armaround her because she always
wants to be touching somehow orlinking arms or holding hands.
(07:02):
Like she's very physical and Itry to match their energy.
So because it's not like well,you're not being your authentic
self, no, it's not a matter ofbeing real or not.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
It's almost just turning the volume knob on your,
your, your energy levels up ordown.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Yeah, that's a good way to put it, and I feel like
that is like a talent.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
I don't know if everyone does that or if that's
just if they really put theeffort in, it's not that hard.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
It's not, and I find that it comes pretty naturally
to me.
Like, um, this one kid used toalways come and he was obsessed
with his.
He had like a pet, like geckoor something, and he always
wanted to talk to me about itand he like brought in pictures
of it and I was very interestedin his gecko and he loved to
talk about it.
And so it's like, okay, I justknow, and he didn't, and that
was before he got it.
And so it's like okay, I justknow, and he didn't, and that
was before he got his wings.
And so it'd be like Kristen, ohmy gosh, look at what my gecko
did this weekend.
(08:01):
And you know, I'm like, oh mygosh, and I cared.
I wasn't like totallypretending, but it was like I
was trying to pick up on.
What do you need for me?
Who do you need me to be rightnow for you to feel comfortable?
And I felt like that was my joband for me.
That's really helped with someof the disengaged students,
because I don't know like we'regoing to talk about the other
(08:26):
connections they need in aminute, because it's not just
you.
You can't be their end, all beall.
But right at the beginning,when they're very vulnerable,
when they're a little scared,when they're a little nervous,
when they're trying to get theirbearings, you are a great
person to do that.
A because, as the ministry lead, you hopefully have the EQ to
be able to do that.
(08:46):
But also it means somethingwhen the person who gets on
stage and does the message andis the teacher and is the face
of the ministry, when they careabout you.
It builds this trust that Ijust feel like nobody at church
should seem untouchable orinaccessible.
(09:09):
It's like, oh well, don't botherher, she's the pastor, he's the
pastor, he's busy.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
In the green room right now.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Yeah, we are very heavy on that.
We're a large church, not thatI need a green room, but our
senior pastor is very big on.
We are a green room, freechurch.
If you're a pastor, you'reaccessible, you're approachable,
you're available and we try tocarry that out throughout all of
our ministries of like, hey, ifyou're the person, it means a
(09:39):
lot to people that you're likeexcited to see them, you know,
and so let them, let them, letyourself be that soft landing
place for a little while whilethey're trying to get
comfortable right.
So that kind of moves into.
Try to get them to your midweekprogram so that you can get
(10:01):
them into a small group.
So if a kid is kind of shy ordisengaged and they're coming to
your weekend services, try toget them to youth group at your
midweek program.
So this one particular girl shewas so cute, she never talked,
she would just sit in her chairand I'd go.
You should come on Tuesdays toyouth group.
(10:22):
I don't know, I don't know Ican't, and I tried to develop
like an affection with her andshe was super tiny, so like I
started calling her peanut.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
And still.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Drea, drea.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Well, now you just said her name yeah, fine, it's
drea.
I know this person, duh.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
I know your name, name's drea well, there's
nothing bad we're saying abouther, so we can call her out.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Yeah, drea hi drea.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
so I would be like come on, peanut, come to tuesday
.
I don't know, I don't know.
Well, she finally ended upcoming on Tuesday.
She got plugged into a smallgroup.
She became one of the mostconnected kids at our youth
group.
She came back in high school ormaybe she was young adult to be
a leader actually.
Well, I baptized her in juniorhigh, performed her wedding when
(11:13):
she was a young adult, justwent to her baby shower two
weekends ago and it was likeweeks and months probably of me
like come on you gotta go,please?
Oh, you would love it, just try,you know, because getting them
from a weekend service to amidweek is this whole other
level of connection, where nowyou're connecting them to
(11:35):
another adult, their small groupleader, and it can, the
relational dynamic can growbeyond just you as the youth
pastor, because I want and Dreand I are still close, obviously
, and I wanted to be with her,but I also wanted her to have a
more, a richer experience thanjust me, and obviously I have to
(11:56):
be with other kids as well, andthen, you know, starting to get
connected to the other kids inher small group, and that's why
it's so important to have smallgroups that are designed around
the best chance of connection.
So that means gender specific,grade specific.
So that means gender specific,grade specific and I for lack of
a better word, it's like vibespecific.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Yeah, that's if you're large enough to have that
many breakdowns of small groups, right.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Yeah, and if not, at least start with guys and girls
and then, if you can grow alittle bit from there, break it
down by yeah, greater age andthen if you're bigger than that,
it's definitely by vibe.
Like we have two sixth gradegirl small groups because some
(12:43):
go to this school and some go tothat school and it's just a lot
easier for people.
I always try to put people in ascenario with the best possible
case scenario to connect.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Right.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Not like let's do a social experiment where you try
to connect with someone you'dnever connect with in real life.
It's like maybe, and sometimesthat works Right.
I just feel like it's moreexperimental and we've talked
about that a million times onthe podcast, but I just want
them to be with people.
That it's like.
I just want them to be withpeople.
That it's like I could see youbeing friends with this person.
(13:17):
So getting them in a smallgroup is a really big deal.
And when they're in that smallgroup now they have peers that
are like them, that are similar.
They have another adult besidesyou who's keeping track of them
, caring for them, includingthem and then making sure
they're registered.
So like getting their info,their name, their address, all
(13:38):
of that.
And you can even reach out tothe parent like, hey, it's been
so great to have Drea, you know,on Tuesdays, you know, hope
she's liking it.
Reach out anytime if there'sanything we can do to better
partner with your family youknow, just letting the parent
know hey, we're here, I see you.
I'm glad you're a part of thechurch and I feel like even that
(14:00):
gives you a better chance ofgetting the parent connected.
So if a kid is coming on theirown and is kind of disengaged, I
think you have a bigger chanceof losing them if the parent is
also disengaged.
You know we've had so many kidswhose parents just kind of drop
them off, which is fine, I'mglad they're there.
But I've noticed those kidstend to drop off at some point
(14:24):
if they're solely responsiblefor getting themselves to church
.
Like hey, can you drop me off,hey, instead of it's like, hey,
we're going to church, to church, like, hey, can you drop me off
, hey?
Instead of it's like, hey,we're going to church.
Those kids just have a higherrate of retention In my
experience.
I'm sure there's cases outthere where it's very different,
(14:45):
but I would just say, in ageneral rule, that is my
observation.
So, thirdly, get them connectedto your leadership kids.
So this is where they havetheir small group girls or guys,
but there's something veryspecial about a leadership kid
if you've done the work withthem.
So my leadership team, it'scalled SOS and it's called
(15:09):
students of service, and we talkto those students all the time
about how to evangelize withyour relational skills.
So I think we've always boileddown evangelism to can you
recite the gospel?
And I hope you can.
I hope you know like theRoman's road and know the gospel
(15:33):
, and if someone asks you forthe faith you have within you,
that you could give an answerfor it.
I think there's another layer ofevangelism to teach to our
students, which is having justconversations with people,
because here's a more likelyscenario as far as I know.
(15:53):
I mean, I've been a Christiansince I was four years old, I
have never been cornered on theplayground and a kid said why do
you believe in Jesus?
Tell me right now.
But I have had kids ask well,what church do you go to?
Or why do you go to church, orlike, what do you like?
Just more like conversational,and it could lead that direction
(16:19):
, like when I was in elementaryschool I led my next door
neighbor to Christ and I waslike in third or fourth grade
because I had the skills to doit.
So the gospel, you know, it isusually wrapped up in people
skills and a relationship and aconversation.
And so teaching our kids, ourstudents, how to simply like
(16:42):
have good conversations withpeople, ask good questions of
people, I think is a part ofevangelism.
So if you can state facts, thatscenario is, I mean, unless
you're going to debate at someuniversity, it's really not
going to be as useful as okay,take that knowledge and your
(17:03):
people skills and put themtogether, because the gospel is
shared through relationship moreoften for a lay person you know
, than like at the pulpit, youknow what I'm saying.
So that might look likesomething like hey, a new kid
comes in and you notice them,but you're with all your friends
(17:25):
and you guys are giggling andtalking.
Or you guys are playingbasketball or Gaga ball and you
notice them, but you're like nah, whatever they can take care of
themselves Wrong.
What do you do next?
And so we go through possiblescenarios.
Well, you say, hey, are you new?
I've never seen you before.
What's your name?
(17:45):
You get a temperature check.
Are they receptive and open andexcited?
If they are, keep going.
If not, maybe tell them acouple of things.
Well, we're glad you're here,hey, if you want to join us for
Gaga ball, like you know, wewould love.
I could teach you how to play ordo you know how, if you're
sensing that they're a littlelike why are you talking to me,
please stop.
(18:05):
And I'm so.
That's even an EQ skill to knowwhen somebody is like thank God
somebody's talking to me, yes,please include me.
And when someone's like coolbro, like back off and how to
exit a conversation gracefully.
So these people skills willhelp them connect these
(18:27):
disengaged students to know allright, new person, vulnerable
person and I always say thisperson is at risk for maybe
never coming back and hearingthe full gospel if the first
step of evangelism wasn't metwith just we see you, how are
you, who are you?
(18:47):
You want to hang out?
I feel like teaching ourstudents how to do that.
So getting them connected adisengaged student with a
student leader who's alreadymaybe had these bugs in their
ear about like hey, this is howwe treat new people, this is how
to talk, blah, blah, blah givesthem another chance at
connection because now a peer,someone their own age, that is
(19:11):
solidifying.
Okay, the pastor was nice, thepastor saw me, the pastor cared
about me.
There was this other adult,there were some kids in my small
group, but now these kids seemlike they know like how to
include and talk, and they'rewarm and inviting and all of
that, and so they've had all ofthese experiences to show.
(19:33):
Well, it wasn't just the oneadult was nice to me and
everyone else was a jerk butevery.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
Because they kind of expect you to have to be.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Exactly and that's what I tell my student
leadership kids all the time.
I said if I was mean, like theywould be like probably shocked
Like what's going on.
We expect kids are a mixed bag,like some kids are mean, some
kids are nice If they go toschool, they know.
But to meet some kids whoactually like included them and
(20:06):
were kind and approached themand didn't just look at them and
then like look away or giggleor I'm like that is so much more
impactful than me.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
You know so it's.
So now this person hashopefully had all these really
great experiences with this likerelational aspect of across the
gamut Right, and then my lastone number four, and then my
last one number four.
The best way I can put it isfind a win with this person,
(20:48):
meaning get them to have fun.
And let me caution you, they'rekind of fun, and so that's
going back to that EQ thing oflike some kids, if you force
them to play a game, they'redone.
They're like I was humiliated.
I am never doing that again, noway.
So you have to be careful hereof what is like fun is very
subjective, so you're lookingfor basically a memorable
(21:10):
experience that they can lookback on and say like that was
the highlight.
That was the sweet spot.
Something good happened and forme that can be as little as an
inside joke.
Right that evolves into like acute nickname, like I was
(21:30):
calling Dre a peanut all thetime.
One of my favorite students.
He's very connected, so he'snot that type of student, but he
like, every time we see eachother we just like salute, like
he started a like saluting meand like he will freeze until I
say like at ease, you know, andso it's like our fun little
(21:51):
thing and it's a highlight.
Like every time I see him like,oh yeah, like our little
tradition, you know.
Maybe it is getting them toplay a game, a low risk game,
where they won't be embarrassedlike nine square or Gaga ball or
four square, something likethat, where it's not like I had
to go up on stage and answer aquestion and everyone was
(22:12):
looking at me you know,something like that.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
Can we bring up the spotlights a little bit on this
new student.
Come on everybody.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Oh my gosh, Can I tell you a dumb tax I used to.
Oh, I don't want to say it,it's so cringy.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
I think you've already said it, have I
Somewhere along the line?
Okay?
Speaker 1 (22:27):
somewhere along the line.
Whenever we had a new student,I would make them stand up.
Did I make them stand up?
Speaker 2 (22:34):
Yes, I did, I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
Okay, you were probably there and I'd say
what's your name, what grade areyou in?
Speaker 2 (22:42):
What school do you go to?
What's your favorite ride atDisneyland?
I don't like Disneyland.
What's your favorite flavor ofice cream?
I don't like ice cream.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Well, shame on me, for I mean no, a new person does
not want to do that.
Some do.
I mean I worked with enoughjunior hires.
You know some.
Some of them are like attention.
Finally, you know spotlight,thank you.
But some are like what ishappening.
Why is this church?
Speaker 2 (23:10):
My worst nightmare is coming true right now.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
Yes, so and then I would like give them a piece of
candy, and then I would givethem a piece of candy, at least
I would give them a prize.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
But it was so dumb I think the idea behind it is
great, just minus the in frontof everybody else, Like going up
to them hey, what's your name?
What school do you go?
Speaker 1 (23:27):
to what's your favorite ride at.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Disneyland, maybe not that.
I thought it was so cute andclever and I'm like no but I
thought it was so cute andclever and I'm like no, it's
mortifying, so cringy it's, it'shonestly it's.
I mean, as an adult, when it'slike a group of people that may
not know each other, we're gonnago around the room.
I'm just like sweaty palms, sonervous.
I'm not listening to anybodyelse talk.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
I'm like please don't let my voice crack and see, and
that's why it took me so longto realize that, because I'm not
that kind of person.
So I'm like sure, what do youwant to know?
I don't care, I'm not shy, I'mvery confident.
So, talking in front of a groupof people, I'd be like whatever
, whatever, whatever, dude, Idon't care, I don't care, I care
(24:11):
.
And then it took me years ofministry to realize okay, just
because maybe you're the personup in front, because you don't
care if the spotlight's on you.
Other people aren't that way, sobe sensitive to that.
So you know, if they're aquieter kid, I'll be like hey,
like, I'll play you in MarioKart.
(24:33):
And they'll be like okay, youknow.
And if they're like, if I can,I'll play you in Mario Kart, and
they'll be like okay, you know.
And if they're like, oh, if Ican tell they're good, I'll be
like all right, if I, if youbeat me, you know I'll get you,
I'll give you a Coke.
Or you know, like, just createsomething fun in that.
Or if there's a few leadershipgirls around, maybe we'll be
like hey, you want to be in ourlittle volleyball circle or
(24:54):
something like that, just tryingto make sure that there's this
memorable experience that waspositive, that they look back on
and they because chances arethey're not going to be like
that was a really good message.
I would like to go back to thatchurch for a kid.
They will start listening tothe message after they feel
(25:16):
included and confident andcomfortable, because the first
few times they probably aren'thearing anything.
That's happening.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
They're just like who am I sitting by what's going on
?
Speaker 1 (25:26):
What do I do next?
Okay, why is everyone standingup?
What game is this?
Oh no, what team am I on?
Because there's so many socialfactors that are noise they're
probably like not even payingattention to your program
elements.
So we really want to help pushthem through that so that their
ears can all of a sudden openand they can lean into the
(25:49):
message and into the worship andinto the discussion, because
all those social factors have.
Maybe we'll never solve themcompletely in adolescence, but
at least we can quiet them alittle bit for them.
And so, again, these aren'tlike four easy ways to take a
disengagement, so it's just morelike patterns of behavior,
(26:12):
things that may help.
And if you have some successstories, I'd love.
If you're watching us on YouTube, I'd love to hear that in the
comments, because you know I'malways learning new ways of
engaging students becausethere's so many different types
of kids and reasons why and younever know what method is going
(26:35):
to like click with you.
You know it's not just like inthe broad sense, everyone wants
this.
It's like all right, everydisengaged kid to me is almost
like a puzzle of like what'syour hurdle?
And how can I help you overcomeit, or how can we overcome it
(26:55):
together, because I want youhere right right, you know one
thing I didn't mention, but like, make sure you use their name,
their correct name.
Um, I met a new boy at mySaturday night service this
weekend.
Here's how this went.
You want to hear how dumb I was.
I said, hey, I've never met you.
(27:16):
What's your name?
Speaker 2 (27:18):
He said you have met me no.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
I'm not Hopefully not that dumb Like I had seen him
before, but we never had aconversation.
He said I'm Jacob.
I said cool, nice to meet you.
Then we start service.
I'm up on stage and I saysomething about.
I pointed to him because he wassitting next to his friend and
(27:41):
I was like something about yeahand Patrick, and blah, blah,
blah and they just startlaughing.
And I thought they were laughingbecause we were talking about
dating and I thought they weregetting all giggly and I was
like come on, guys, like let'sbe mature, and they were just
sort of like shaking their headand then like finally one of his
friends raised her hand andshe's like the reason we're
(28:03):
laughing is because you keepcalling him Patrick.
His name is Jacob.
I'm like that's not even close,like not even in the ballpark,
and I literally asked you fiveminutes ago.
So they thought it washilarious.
So then the girl's mom wasworking at church, like
volunteering on Sunday, andshe's like oh man, we took Jacob
(28:25):
home and they were laughing thewhole way home about you
calling him Patrick.
And then they were talkingabout SpongeBob and making all
these jokes, how he's Patrick,and now it says I'm like it
ended up being a win well, Icreated a memory for you but
yeah, so maybe next time I seehim it'll be our little inside
joke.
But I felt so stupid like I.
(28:45):
Literally it was just likewhat's your name, jacob?
Great, I get on stage andpatrick over there way to go.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Also, why are you calling him out from stage?
Anyways, it made sense.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
I know it wasn't embarrassing, it made sense, I
think I said I had to move a kidand I said go and sit over
there next to Patrick.
Pat for the layperson Patty.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
We did another episode similar to this, but
specifically how to getintroverted students engaged in
your youth ministry.
So if you want to check thatout, go ahead and watch that or
listen to that on the podcast.
Question of the day this weekis what is a pet peeve you have
(29:28):
about other?
Speaker 1 (29:29):
drivers Too slow.
I thought the question was tooslow.
Your question is slow.
No, I hate when they go tooslow.
I probably drive too fast.
I need to work on that.
But yeah, when they're, I'mjust like what are you doing?
Like, put some pressure on thatpedal, let's go, so I it just
starts to give me a tick.
You know when yeah but I Inever pass people.
You know, I try really hardjust to be like okay, so I'll
(29:53):
just tailgate instead wow, no,I'm just kidding.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
Which brings me to my tailgating I can't stand it
when you are going the speedlimit and someone is like that
pressure tailgating you, likeI'm gonna get so close to your
bumper to force, like if you'reon the freeway, to force you out
of that lane.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
Which I'm like if I'm going the speed limit, you can
go around oh yeah, I I just movemy rear view mirror so I can't
see them and I just, that'ssmart, probably not safe.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
Um, yeah, so mine is I, I don't like, I don't like
tailgaters when you are going tospeed limit and they're just
like riding you, forcing you to,you know, to move over.
The other one I'll do reallyquickly is when someone gets mad
at you and they're at fault,they'll honk or flip you off or
get mad or whatever and you'relike by the letter of the law.
(30:43):
Sir, you were in the wrongthere.
That bothers me yeah, so anywaysput in the comment section
below what is something that youhave a pet peeve about in
regards to other drivers?
All right, this is ourcommunity comment of the day.
This comes from youth, now onewho says I would just like to
say that I've had an opportunityto work with the youth in a
more important role lately,leading and teaching while my
(31:05):
pastor takes a break from youthministry roles to focus on other
things, and this podcast hashelped with a lot of different
things for me planning, teaching, et cetera.
Thank you, you're welcome.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
Thank you for that comment.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
Really, ministry now, youth now, oh, sorry, thank you
so much and thank you guys forwatching and listening and we'll
see you next time.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
do you want to be a better youth pastor in this next
year?
Good, are you looking for waysto be a more effective leader
than stick around?
Cause we were?
Speaker 2 (31:38):
My annunciations were all over the place in that
intro, but that's okay, winkyface.
Today we're talking about four ways to help you
reach disengaged students inyour youth ministry.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Welcome to the Ministry Coach Podcast, where we
give you weekly tips andtactics to help you fast-track
the growth and health of youryouth ministry.
My name is Jeff Laskola andthis is Kristen Laskola.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
And today we are talking about four strategies to
help you reach disengagedstudents in your youth ministry,
and we've all had thosestudents that, for whatever
reason, they're just notconnecting, and I feel like
there's such a spectrum of thetype of kid who is not
(00:49):
connecting.
Sometimes they're just shy yeahand they're waiting for someone
to be like come on, sometimesthey're a little more hostile,
like they don't want to be there.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Parents forced them to go, and they don't want to be
there.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Yeah, and maybe they're just kind of a like an
independent type, and I've evenhad kids who, like felt almost
too mature to be there, like youcould just tell like, wow, you
might be an 11 year old body,but you, you've seen some stuff.
(01:25):
Like you, you're like an adult,you know, and you're like, what
these games, you know, what isthis?
And so I just feel like therecan be so many different reasons
why students are not engagingsuper easily in your youth
ministry.
And I will be honest, this isnot like my foolproof plan to
(01:47):
win people over, like this isjust stuff I've defaulted to
over the years and sometimesthey don't Like there's been
plenty of kids who it's just Idon't think we're for you and
I've seen them flourish in othertype of ministries.
Or maybe they just weren'tready for like a church
(02:08):
community, but maybe somewherein the future they will be and
so don't take their.
I think it's hard not to takeit personally when they don't
want to be a part of things orget discouraged.
You know, I feel like one ofthose two feelings is pretty
common.
Like man, I just can't win thiskid over.
Or wow, like, why do you hateus, you know, and so just
(02:33):
there's could be like the levelsof complexity underneath why
they're not engaging could befar beyond what you could ever
figure out or reach and havezero percent to do with you or
your youth ministry.
Right, or maybe they do have alot to do with you, who knows.
But all I'm saying is there's acouple of things you could do
(02:55):
to try to engage them intocommunity at church, because
sometimes they really are readyfor it and they just don't know
how to jump in.
And that's where you come in,and I've seen like dozens of
success stories where that kidwas, like you know, just kind of
a loner or didn't really wantto talk or super shy or didn't
(03:18):
have any friends.
And I just went to the babyshower of one this last week
who's an adult married woman now, who I got to baptize, lead to
the Lord, and she was like thisshy little girl.
You know.
I'll talk more about her.
So first, in this strategy,it's not even like a strategy.
It's kind of just like what Idefault to.
(03:39):
I'm not like scheming, like wow, what is my strategy here?
It's more of just like theseare things that I've sensed I
should not like scheming like,wow, what is my strategy here?
It's more of just like these arethings that I've sensed I
should probably do this.
So the first one is you as theministry lead, as the youth
pastor, youth director, whatever.
It is so important that you betheir first connection and I've
(04:02):
noticed with some of my studentsthat are a little more shy or a
little more disengaged, mebeing their first connection has
been really helpful.
It's almost like you arehelping them feel safe until
they get their wings to fly ontheir own, like I've had
(04:22):
students who are very clingywith me because they know I'm a
safe, like soft landing spotwhere I'm always going to
welcome them with open arms.
I'm always going to includethem.
I'm always going to make a bigdeal about them being here and
excited and get them included.
What are we doing?
Let's play a game how was yourweekend?
And they will kind of likehover next to me, like out of
(04:46):
safety, until they get their ownsocial wings.
And then some of them it's like, oh, remember me, like you
never talked to me anymore.
That's okay, cause you havecommunity now.
But I feel like the youth pastorbeing that initial soft landing
spot for them is a really goodidea because you, as the youth
pastor or any ministry leader, Ifeel like one thing you really
(05:11):
have to tap into.
And I started doing thiswithout realizing I was doing it
, and maybe it's because I'm athree on the Enneagram and we're
very good at being chameleonsLike what do you need me to be?
That's what I'll be today.
But that really worked to myadvantage with these newer kids
because I was trying, withoutrealizing it, to have like the
(05:33):
EQ to match their energy.
So, like I have a lot of energy, I can be like really hyper and
silly and friendly and over thetop Overwhelming.
That felt personal.
Jeff, are you overwhelmed?
I thought.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
I was just adding to the list of things, sorry.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
I wouldn't have said that.
I wouldn't have said that.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Overbearing.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
I would have said, yeah, it could be overwhelming.
But like I tried to dissecttheir personality in the first
few seconds of talking with themand it's like, what do you need
me to be for you?
Because I can be up here or Ican come down?
I totally can, Jeff, you know,and I can do everything in
(06:19):
between, Like if you're wanting,like one of my students, he is
just so silly and every time hesees me, like we start singing
wicked even though I've neverseen wicked like I just like
pretend to sing along and hethinks it's hilarious and we do
our little dances.
And then like another girl,she's super calm and so I just
(06:41):
sit next to her and I talk toher about what she did this week
and we talk about coffee andstuff like that and she's super
chill.
And then another one just islike always just wants to be
near me.
You know, like I put my armaround her because she always
wants to be touching somehow orlinking arms or holding hands.
(07:02):
Like she's very physical and Itry to match their energy.
So because it's not like well,you're not being your authentic
self, no, it's not a matter ofbeing real or not.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
It's almost just turning the volume knob on your,
your, your energy levels up ordown.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Yeah, that's a good way to put it, and I feel like
that is like a talent.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
I don't know if everyone does that or if that's
just if they really put theeffort in, it's not that hard.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
It's not, and I find that it comes pretty naturally
to me.
Like, um, this one kid used toalways come and he was obsessed
with his.
He had like a pet, like geckoor something, and he always
wanted to talk to me about itand he like brought in pictures
of it and I was very interestedin his gecko and he loved to
talk about it.
And so it's like, okay, I justknow, and he didn't, and that
was before he got it.
And so it's like okay, I justknow, and he didn't, and that
was before he got his wings.
And so it'd be like Kristen, ohmy gosh, look at what my gecko
did this weekend.
(08:01):
And you know, I'm like, oh mygosh, and I cared.
I wasn't like totallypretending, but it was like I
was trying to pick up on.
What do you need for me?
Who do you need me to be rightnow for you to feel comfortable?
And I felt like that was my joband for me.
That's really helped with someof the disengaged students,
because I don't know like we'regoing to talk about the other
(08:26):
connections they need in aminute, because it's not just
you.
You can't be their end, all beall.
But right at the beginning,when they're very vulnerable,
when they're a little scared,when they're a little nervous,
when they're trying to get theirbearings, you are a great
person to do that.
A because, as the ministry lead, you hopefully have the EQ to
be able to do that.
(08:46):
But also it means somethingwhen the person who gets on
stage and does the message andis the teacher and is the face
of the ministry, when they careabout you.
It builds this trust that Ijust feel like nobody at church
should seem untouchable orinaccessible.
(09:09):
It's like, oh well, don't botherher, she's the pastor, he's the
pastor, he's busy.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
In the green room right now.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Yeah, we are very heavy on that.
We're a large church, not thatI need a green room, but our
senior pastor is very big on.
We are a green room, freechurch.
If you're a pastor, you'reaccessible, you're approachable,
you're available and we try tocarry that out throughout all of
our ministries of like, hey, ifyou're the person, it means a
(09:39):
lot to people that you're likeexcited to see them, you know,
and so let them, let them, letyourself be that soft landing
place for a little while whilethey're trying to get
comfortable right.
So that kind of moves into.
Try to get them to your midweekprogram so that you can get
(10:01):
them into a small group.
So if a kid is kind of shy ordisengaged and they're coming to
your weekend services, try toget them to youth group at your
midweek program.
So this one particular girl shewas so cute, she never talked,
she would just sit in her chairand I'd go.
You should come on Tuesdays toyouth group.
(10:22):
I don't know, I don't know Ican't, and I tried to develop
like an affection with her andshe was super tiny, so like I
started calling her peanut.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
And still.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Drea, drea.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Well, now you just said her name yeah, fine, it's
drea.
I know this person, duh.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
I know your name, name's drea well, there's
nothing bad we're saying abouther, so we can call her out.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Yeah, drea hi drea.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
so I would be like come on, peanut, come to tuesday
.
I don't know, I don't know.
Well, she finally ended upcoming on Tuesday.
She got plugged into a smallgroup.
She became one of the mostconnected kids at our youth
group.
She came back in high school ormaybe she was young adult to be
a leader actually.
Well, I baptized her in juniorhigh, performed her wedding when
(11:13):
she was a young adult, justwent to her baby shower two
weekends ago and it was likeweeks and months probably of me
like come on you gotta go,please?
Oh, you would love it, just try,you know, because getting them
from a weekend service to amidweek is this whole other
level of connection, where nowyou're connecting them to
(11:35):
another adult, their small groupleader, and it can, the
relational dynamic can growbeyond just you as the youth
pastor, because I want and Dreand I are still close, obviously
, and I wanted to be with her,but I also wanted her to have a
more, a richer experience thanjust me, and obviously I have to
(11:56):
be with other kids as well, andthen, you know, starting to get
connected to the other kids inher small group, and that's why
it's so important to have smallgroups that are designed around
the best chance of connection.
So that means gender specific,grade specific.
So that means gender specific,grade specific and I for lack of
a better word, it's like vibespecific.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Yeah, that's if you're large enough to have that
many breakdowns of small groups, right.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Yeah, and if not, at least start with guys and girls
and then, if you can grow alittle bit from there, break it
down by yeah, greater age andthen if you're bigger than that,
it's definitely by vibe.
Like we have two sixth gradegirl small groups because some
(12:43):
go to this school and some go tothat school and it's just a lot
easier for people.
I always try to put people in ascenario with the best possible
case scenario to connect.
Speaker 2 (12:55):
Right.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Not like let's do a social experiment where you try
to connect with someone you'dnever connect with in real life.
It's like maybe, and sometimesthat works Right.
I just feel like it's moreexperimental and we've talked
about that a million times onthe podcast, but I just want
them to be with people.
That it's like.
I just want them to be withpeople.
That it's like I could see youbeing friends with this person.
(13:17):
So getting them in a smallgroup is a really big deal.
And when they're in that smallgroup now they have peers that
are like them, that are similar.
They have another adult besidesyou who's keeping track of them
, caring for them, includingthem and then making sure
they're registered.
So like getting their info,their name, their address, all
(13:38):
of that.
And you can even reach out tothe parent like, hey, it's been
so great to have Drea, you know,on Tuesdays, you know, hope
she's liking it.
Reach out anytime if there'sanything we can do to better
partner with your family youknow, just letting the parent
know hey, we're here, I see you.
I'm glad you're a part of thechurch and I feel like even that
(14:00):
gives you a better chance ofgetting the parent connected.
So if a kid is coming on theirown and is kind of disengaged, I
think you have a bigger chanceof losing them if the parent is
also disengaged.
You know we've had so many kidswhose parents just kind of drop
them off, which is fine, I'mglad they're there.
But I've noticed those kidstend to drop off at some point
(14:24):
if they're solely responsiblefor getting themselves to church
.
Like hey, can you drop me off,hey, instead of it's like, hey,
we're going to church, to church, like, hey, can you drop me off
, hey?
Instead of it's like, hey,we're going to church.
Those kids just have a higherrate of retention In my
experience.
I'm sure there's cases outthere where it's very different,
(14:45):
but I would just say, in ageneral rule, that is my
observation.
So, thirdly, get them connectedto your leadership kids.
So this is where they havetheir small group girls or guys,
but there's something veryspecial about a leadership kid
if you've done the work withthem.
So my leadership team, it'scalled SOS and it's called
(15:09):
students of service, and we talkto those students all the time
about how to evangelize withyour relational skills.
So I think we've always boileddown evangelism to can you
recite the gospel?
And I hope you can.
I hope you know like theRoman's road and know the gospel
(15:33):
, and if someone asks you forthe faith you have within you,
that you could give an answerfor it.
I think there's another layer ofevangelism to teach to our
students, which is having justconversations with people,
because here's a more likelyscenario as far as I know.
(15:53):
I mean, I've been a Christiansince I was four years old, I
have never been cornered on theplayground and a kid said why do
you believe in Jesus?
Tell me right now.
But I have had kids ask well,what church do you go to?
Or why do you go to church, orlike, what do you like?
Just more like conversational,and it could lead that direction
(16:19):
, like when I was in elementaryschool I led my next door
neighbor to Christ and I waslike in third or fourth grade
because I had the skills to doit.
So the gospel, you know, it isusually wrapped up in people
skills and a relationship and aconversation.
And so teaching our kids, ourstudents, how to simply like
(16:42):
have good conversations withpeople, ask good questions of
people, I think is a part ofevangelism.
So if you can state facts, thatscenario is, I mean, unless
you're going to debate at someuniversity, it's really not
going to be as useful as okay,take that knowledge and your
(17:03):
people skills and put themtogether, because the gospel is
shared through relationship moreoften for a lay person you know
, than like at the pulpit, youknow what I'm saying.
So that might look likesomething like hey, a new kid
comes in and you notice them,but you're with all your friends
(17:25):
and you guys are giggling andtalking.
Or you guys are playingbasketball or Gaga ball and you
notice them, but you're like nah, whatever they can take care of
themselves Wrong.
What do you do next?
And so we go through possiblescenarios.
Well, you say, hey, are you new?
I've never seen you before.
What's your name?
(17:45):
You get a temperature check.
Are they receptive and open andexcited?
If they are, keep going.
If not, maybe tell them acouple of things.
Well, we're glad you're here,hey, if you want to join us for
Gaga ball, like you know, wewould love.
I could teach you how to play ordo you know how, if you're
sensing that they're a littlelike why are you talking to me,
please stop.
(18:05):
And I'm so.
That's even an EQ skill to knowwhen somebody is like thank God
somebody's talking to me, yes,please include me.
And when someone's like coolbro, like back off and how to
exit a conversation gracefully.
So these people skills willhelp them connect these
(18:27):
disengaged students to know allright, new person, vulnerable
person and I always say thisperson is at risk for maybe
never coming back and hearingthe full gospel if the first
step of evangelism wasn't metwith just we see you, how are
you, who are you?
(18:47):
You want to hang out?
I feel like teaching ourstudents how to do that.
So getting them connected adisengaged student with a
student leader who's alreadymaybe had these bugs in their
ear about like hey, this is howwe treat new people, this is how
to talk, blah, blah, blah givesthem another chance at
connection because now a peer,someone their own age, that is
(19:11):
solidifying.
Okay, the pastor was nice, thepastor saw me, the pastor cared
about me.
There was this other adult,there were some kids in my small
group, but now these kids seemlike they know like how to
include and talk, and they'rewarm and inviting and all of
that, and so they've had all ofthese experiences to show.
(19:33):
Well, it wasn't just the oneadult was nice to me and
everyone else was a jerk butevery.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
Because they kind of expect you to have to be.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Exactly and that's what I tell my student
leadership kids all the time.
I said if I was mean, like theywould be like probably shocked
Like what's going on.
We expect kids are a mixed bag,like some kids are mean, some
kids are nice If they go toschool, they know.
But to meet some kids whoactually like included them and
(20:06):
were kind and approached themand didn't just look at them and
then like look away or giggleor I'm like that is so much more
impactful than me.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
You know so it's.
So now this person hashopefully had all these really
great experiences with this likerelational aspect of across the
gamut Right, and then my lastone number four, and then my
last one number four.
The best way I can put it isfind a win with this person,
(20:48):
meaning get them to have fun.
And let me caution you, they'rekind of fun, and so that's
going back to that EQ thing oflike some kids, if you force
them to play a game, they'redone.
They're like I was humiliated.
I am never doing that again, noway.
So you have to be careful hereof what is like fun is very
subjective, so you're lookingfor basically a memorable
(21:10):
experience that they can lookback on and say like that was
the highlight.
That was the sweet spot.
Something good happened and forme that can be as little as an
inside joke.
Right that evolves into like acute nickname, like I was
(21:30):
calling Dre a peanut all thetime.
One of my favorite students.
He's very connected, so he'snot that type of student, but he
like, every time we see eachother we just like salute, like
he started a like saluting meand like he will freeze until I
say like at ease, you know, andso it's like our fun little
(21:51):
thing and it's a highlight.
Like every time I see him like,oh yeah, like our little
tradition, you know.
Maybe it is getting them toplay a game, a low risk game,
where they won't be embarrassedlike nine square or Gaga ball or
four square, something likethat, where it's not like I had
to go up on stage and answer aquestion and everyone was
(22:12):
looking at me you know,something like that.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
Can we bring up the spotlights a little bit on this
new student.
Come on everybody.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Oh my gosh, Can I tell you a dumb tax I used to.
Oh, I don't want to say it,it's so cringy.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
I think you've already said it, have I
Somewhere along the line?
Okay?
Speaker 1 (22:27):
somewhere along the line.
Whenever we had a new student,I would make them stand up.
Did I make them stand up?
Speaker 2 (22:34):
Yes, I did, I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
Okay, you were probably there and I'd say
what's your name, what grade areyou in?
Speaker 2 (22:42):
What school do you go to?
What's your favorite ride atDisneyland?
I don't like Disneyland.
What's your favorite flavor ofice cream?
I don't like ice cream.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Well, shame on me, for I mean no, a new person does
not want to do that.
Some do.
I mean I worked with enoughjunior hires.
You know some.
Some of them are like attention.
Finally, you know spotlight,thank you.
But some are like what ishappening.
Why is this church?
Speaker 2 (23:10):
My worst nightmare is coming true right now.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
Yes, so and then I would like give them a piece of
candy, and then I would givethem a piece of candy, at least
I would give them a prize.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
But it was so dumb I think the idea behind it is
great, just minus the in frontof everybody else, Like going up
to them hey, what's your name?
What school do you go?
Speaker 1 (23:27):
to what's your favorite ride at.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Disneyland, maybe not that.
I thought it was so cute andclever and I'm like no but I
thought it was so cute andclever and I'm like no, it's
mortifying, so cringy it's, it'shonestly it's.
I mean, as an adult, when it'slike a group of people that may
not know each other, we're gonnago around the room.
I'm just like sweaty palms, sonervous.
I'm not listening to anybodyelse talk.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
I'm like please don't let my voice crack and see, and
that's why it took me so longto realize that, because I'm not
that kind of person.
So I'm like sure, what do youwant to know?
I don't care, I'm not shy, I'mvery confident.
So, talking in front of a groupof people, I'd be like whatever
, whatever, whatever, dude, Idon't care, I don't care, I care
(24:11):
.
And then it took me years ofministry to realize okay, just
because maybe you're the personup in front, because you don't
care if the spotlight's on you.
Other people aren't that way, sobe sensitive to that.
So you know, if they're aquieter kid, I'll be like hey,
like, I'll play you in MarioKart.
(24:33):
And they'll be like okay, youknow.
And if they're like, if I can,I'll play you in Mario Kart, and
they'll be like okay, you know.
And if they're like, oh, if Ican tell they're good, I'll be
like all right, if I, if youbeat me, you know I'll get you,
I'll give you a Coke.
Or you know, like, just createsomething fun in that.
Or if there's a few leadershipgirls around, maybe we'll be
like hey, you want to be in ourlittle volleyball circle or
(24:54):
something like that, just tryingto make sure that there's this
memorable experience that waspositive, that they look back on
and they because chances arethey're not going to be like
that was a really good message.
I would like to go back to thatchurch for a kid.
They will start listening tothe message after they feel
(25:16):
included and confident andcomfortable, because the first
few times they probably aren'thearing anything.
That's happening.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
They're just like who am I sitting by what's going on
?
Speaker 1 (25:26):
What do I do next?
Okay, why is everyone standingup?
What game is this?
Oh no, what team am I on?
Because there's so many socialfactors that are noise they're
probably like not even payingattention to your program
elements.
So we really want to help pushthem through that so that their
ears can all of a sudden openand they can lean into the
(25:49):
message and into the worship andinto the discussion, because
all those social factors have.
Maybe we'll never solve themcompletely in adolescence, but
at least we can quiet them alittle bit for them.
And so, again, these aren'tlike four easy ways to take a
disengagement, so it's just morelike patterns of behavior,
(26:12):
things that may help.
And if you have some successstories, I'd love.
If you're watching us on YouTube, I'd love to hear that in the
comments, because you know I'malways learning new ways of
engaging students becausethere's so many different types
of kids and reasons why and younever know what method is going
(26:35):
to like click with you.
You know it's not just like inthe broad sense, everyone wants
this.
It's like all right, everydisengaged kid to me is almost
like a puzzle of like what'syour hurdle?
And how can I help you overcomeit, or how can we overcome it
(26:55):
together, because I want youhere right right, you know one
thing I didn't mention, but like, make sure you use their name,
their correct name.
Um, I met a new boy at mySaturday night service this
weekend.
Here's how this went.
You want to hear how dumb I was.
I said, hey, I've never met you.
(27:16):
What's your name?
Speaker 2 (27:18):
He said you have met me no.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
I'm not Hopefully not that dumb Like I had seen him
before, but we never had aconversation.
He said I'm Jacob.
I said cool, nice to meet you.
Then we start service.
I'm up on stage and I saysomething about.
I pointed to him because he wassitting next to his friend and
(27:41):
I was like something about yeahand Patrick, and blah, blah,
blah and they just startlaughing.
And I thought they were laughingbecause we were talking about
dating and I thought they weregetting all giggly and I was
like come on, guys, like let'sbe mature, and they were just
sort of like shaking their headand then like finally one of his
friends raised her hand andshe's like the reason we're
(28:03):
laughing is because you keepcalling him Patrick.
His name is Jacob.
I'm like that's not even close,like not even in the ballpark,
and I literally asked you fiveminutes ago.
So they thought it washilarious.
So then the girl's mom wasworking at church, like
volunteering on Sunday, andshe's like oh man, we took Jacob
(28:25):
home and they were laughing thewhole way home about you
calling him Patrick.
And then they were talkingabout SpongeBob and making all
these jokes, how he's Patrick,and now it says I'm like it
ended up being a win well, Icreated a memory for you but
yeah, so maybe next time I seehim it'll be our little inside
joke.
But I felt so stupid like I.
(28:45):
Literally it was just likewhat's your name, jacob?
Great, I get on stage andpatrick over there way to go.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Also, why are you calling him out from stage?
Anyways, it made sense.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
I know it wasn't embarrassing, it made sense, I
think I said I had to move a kidand I said go and sit over
there next to Patrick.
Pat for the layperson Patty.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
We did another episode similar to this, but
specifically how to getintroverted students engaged in
your youth ministry.
So if you want to check thatout, go ahead and watch that or
listen to that on the podcast.
Question of the day this weekis what is a pet peeve you have
(29:28):
about other?
Speaker 1 (29:29):
drivers Too slow.
I thought the question was tooslow.
Your question is slow.
No, I hate when they go tooslow.
I probably drive too fast.
I need to work on that.
But yeah, when they're, I'mjust like what are you doing?
Like, put some pressure on thatpedal, let's go, so I it just
starts to give me a tick.
You know when yeah but I Inever pass people.
You know, I try really hardjust to be like okay, so I'll
(29:53):
just tailgate instead wow, no,I'm just kidding.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
Which brings me to my tailgating I can't stand it
when you are going the speedlimit and someone is like that
pressure tailgating you, likeI'm gonna get so close to your
bumper to force, like if you'reon the freeway, to force you out
of that lane.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
Which I'm like if I'm going the speed limit, you can
go around oh yeah, I I just movemy rear view mirror so I can't
see them and I just, that'ssmart, probably not safe.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
Um, yeah, so mine is I, I don't like, I don't like
tailgaters when you are going tospeed limit and they're just
like riding you, forcing you to,you know, to move over.
The other one I'll do reallyquickly is when someone gets mad
at you and they're at fault,they'll honk or flip you off or
get mad or whatever and you'relike by the letter of the law.
(30:43):
Sir, you were in the wrongthere.
That bothers me yeah, so anywaysput in the comment section
below what is something that youhave a pet peeve about in
regards to other drivers?
All right, this is ourcommunity comment of the day.
This comes from youth, now onewho says I would just like to
say that I've had an opportunityto work with the youth in a
more important role lately,leading and teaching while my
(31:05):
pastor takes a break from youthministry roles to focus on other
things, and this podcast hashelped with a lot of different
things for me planning, teaching, et cetera.
Thank you, you're welcome.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
Thank you for that comment.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
Really, ministry now, youth now, oh, sorry, thank you
so much and thank you guys forwatching and listening and we'll
see you next time.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
do you want to be a better youth pastor in this next
year?
Good, are you looking for waysto be a more effective leader
than stick around?
Cause we were?
Speaker 2 (31:38):
My annunciations were all over the place in that
intro, but that's okay, winkyface.
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