July 31, 2025 • 36 mins
250th Episode Giveaway!! 🎉 Details on how to enter below! *** While your youth group might be small, you don't have to treat it that way! Here are 5 ways to make your youth ministry feel bigger! Â
Think about the last time you attended a small gathering that somehow felt electric. What made the difference? Likely, it wasn't the number of people but how those people engaged with each other and the environment. The same principle applies to your youth ministry. You'll discover why maintaining an attitude of excellence rather than scarcity prevents the "we're too small for that" mentality that kills momentum before it starts.
Whether you're leading a youth group of 5 or 50, these principles will help you create the buzzing, vibrant ministry environment your students deserve. Remember, faithful shepherding isn't measured by attendance numbers but by how well you care for the students God has entrusted to you today.
Now is the time to grow a healthy, thriving youth ministry...if you'd like to work with us, check out GrowYourYouthMinistry.com ***Â
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You may also enjoy these episodes:
(#185) 5 Ingredients for an Ideal Youth Ministry Program!
(#192) 3 Mistakes that Small Youth Ministries Often Make
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Are you looking to make your smaller youth group
have bigger energy?
Then stick around, becausewe're going to give you five
ways to do just that.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Welcome to the Ministry Coach Podcast, where we
give you weekly tips andtactics to help you fast-track
the growth and health of youryouth ministry.
My name is Jeff Laskola andthis is Kristen Laskola.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
And today we are going to talk about ways to make
a small youth group feel bigger.
And caveat here like it doesn'tmean that bigger is better.
It's not saying like, oh pooryou little youth group.
Well, here's how to be a bigone or feel like a big one
because some youth groups aresmall and that's fine.
(00:51):
And what we're talking aboutmore when we say feel bigger is
just sometimes you want adifferent type of like energy or
magnetism.
Sometimes that's lacking in asmall youth group.
It doesn't mean small is bad,it just means like you might
want something that has more ofa buzz and a draw.
And if that's what you'relooking for, I have a few ideas
(01:14):
and ways to create thatmagnetism and that buzz and that
energy, even if the numbersaren't necessarily there,
because when you're a big youthgroup you can just sort of rely
on the critical mass that's inthe room to provide the energy.
You might be doing the sameexact thing, but it just feels
(01:34):
bigger or like more dynamic in alarge group setting, even
though it's the same game or thesame event, and you know I'm
speaking from experience becauseI went from working at a very
large youth group, like 300 kids, to then getting shipped to
another campus which was a verysmall youth group which was like
(01:57):
11 kids, and then we've grownsince then to now like about 150
.
So I've been big, big, smalland everything in between I feel
like, and when we're reallysmall, like thinking back to
like the 11 kid youth ministry,I loved it.
By the way, I was not like, ohman, my goal is to grow it to
(02:20):
200 kids.
It was just I'm going to dogood ministry and whatever
happens happens, 200 kids.
It was just I'm going to dogood ministry and whatever
happens happens.
But I loved the small feel andI'll explain why in a little bit
and we'll talk about some ofthe benefits to a small youth
group.
But I remember having tostrategize a few things that I
like, things I wanted to do, butI just couldn't quite pull off
the right way or the way Ishouldn't say the right way, the
(02:43):
way I wanted it to be, withoutthe numbers being there, and so
you kind of had to find someworkarounds and that's what I'm
going to share with you today.
So number one I normally say wedon't combine with high school,
but there was a season where I Iwasn't combining my youth group
with high school, even at 11kids it was just junior high.
(03:05):
But I would decide for numbersand energy and resources sake,
to combine with our high schoolministry for some things.
For example, we used to do anall nighter and I just felt like
, well, I only have 11 kids andnot all of them are going to
sign up.
So like what am I taking fouror five kids around the town?
(03:27):
Like all night long, maybe, butI thought it would be more fun
and more energetic and more of avibe if we had more people.
So I would like um scheme withour high school pastor and we
would have a joint effort in thebus and a joint effort and
booking these places.
And then we had more of a massof like 20 to 30 kids, you know,
(03:48):
coming to an event, rather thanfive or six, and it just felt
like, ooh, this is fun, likethis is an event you know not
like a small group.
And here's the hard thing withreally small groups at events is
like if you show up and likeyou're almost forced to be
friends with those other four orfive, you know there's no
(04:11):
escaping, like you can't blendin or kind of just hang with one
person.
It's kind of like we're eitherall together or we're not,
because there's nowhere to run,nowhere to hide, and so the
relational weight gets shiftedas well.
It's a different dynamic.
So I loved combining with him,for we used to do beach days
(04:34):
together.
So we would like take the kidsin the summer down to the beach
every Thursday and we wouldcombine junior, high and high
school for that Cause it wasn'tlike program.
It was like we would combinejunior, high and high school for
that because it wasn't likeprogram.
It was like, hey, it's just afun, casual beach day and there
was enough room for them to.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
High school could be over here and junior high can be
over here and I loved itbecause I got to see.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
I very rarely get to see my old high school students
like in a prolonged setting,it's more like in passing, like
at church, like hi, you know.
But I loved that.
Um, we would do it for the allnighter.
And then the other strategy Iused, rather than just combining
with high school, you know, wehave the benefit of being a
(05:18):
multi-site church, so we havelike about eight campuses within
like a 30 mile radius orsomething like that.
So I would combine with othercampuses to do camps.
And I still do that for mywinter camp because we rent out
the entire conference center.
So you know, it's justdifferent campuses but, the same
(05:39):
church.
we would do this after thebattle in October.
That's like our big competitionseries.
We would do reward trip.
We've done different places,you know Six Flags or a water
park, depending on the time ofyear, and I would combine with
them for that.
So like, okay, maybe I can'tafford a bus all on my own and I
(05:59):
don't want to do all thesedrivers and group rate tickets
and all of that kind of stuffworked so great, Just kind of
riding the coattails of anotherlarger campus or combining with
a campus.
And you might be thinking, well, I'm not multi-site, so I guess
this doesn't apply to me.
However, I mean, whatever yourpreferences, I feel like it's
(06:21):
not even a bad idea to combinewith another smaller church in
your area and be like, hey, whatif we both ran our competition
series at the same time and thencombine for the reward trip.
Or what are you guys doing forsummer camp?
Would you want to do a combinedrafting trip?
or camping or boating trip orsomething like that.
(06:41):
So if you need more resources,if you need to justify
transportation on a larger scale, if you want to have more
people, just for the vibe, youmight have to combine with
either another student ministryin your church or in your area
and your vicinity.
So that's how I got by foractually a very long time.
(07:03):
Years and years and years,until we eventually grew to a
point where I'm like I think Icould do my own all nighter,
like I remember having thatthought like years down the line
of like I think I can do it onmy own, but I couldn't for years
.
It wasn't like one year I hadto combine.
It was like this was my methodof ministry for a very, very,
(07:23):
very long time who can I combinewith to do the things I want to
do, but I know I can't do themon my own.
So as a small youth group, Iwasn't just like, well, I'm not
going to do them.
I was like, well, that's so funand I don't want our kids to
miss out.
It's like well we're the smallyouth group and we don't get to
do the cool trips, we don't getto do Six Flags or whatever it
might be.
It's like, well, we're going todo it.
(07:44):
I just got to find a way, youknow, to make this work, and I
did, and nobody complained andit was great.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
And yeah.
So how do you justify that with?
Because you're very adamantlike to not combine middle
school and high school?
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Right.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Is it just because it's a special event?
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Yeah, I would never do it, for, like our weekly
program, like I said, even whenwe were 11 kids, it was just I'm
like Tuesday nights, me and thejunior hires for years and
years and years, but to do aspecial event I just felt like
was different.
You know, and now I don'tcombine and I prefer it that way
(08:25):
.
you know, but I didn't minddoing what I had to do at the
time to do a cool event, Like Ithink it's just like a weight of
value, you know what I mean.
It's like this is worth itbecause I want to do this event,
I think this has value.
To do these big cool events,you know, because I didn't want
(08:47):
our kids to feel like they werecompromising by being the small
campus or that they werecompromising by coming to a
small youth group.
It's like small but mighty, westill do all the things.
So I think in that sense it wasworth it.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Okay.
So number two, another way youcan make your smaller youth
group have that energy, thatbuzz.
And this one man is the leaderenergy, ever important, like it
is your team, your leaders, youradults.
They are the culture setters,the tone setters, the energy
harnesses, the nucleus ofmagnetism.
(09:23):
It comes from leaders and whatI mean by that is you know, I've
heard youth pastors say a lotman, I think my leaders need to
be more welcoming, like I don'tknow that they're out there
looking for the new kid, andthat's a culture thing, that's a
training talking, dripping itin kind of thing of like hey,
you should be talking the newkid, and that's a culture thing,
that's a training talking.
Dripping it in kind of thing oflike hey, you should be talking
to a kid.
Like you should be looking forthe new people you should be
(09:46):
welcoming.
So, creating that welcomingatmosphere from the top down.
You know those leaders beinglike, they're just like heat
sensing, like who needsrelationship right now, like,
and they go after it.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
It's such an energy boost and not just standing or
sitting in the back waiting forsmall groups or things like that
, like thinking like oh, I'm off.
Right, you know not my time.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Yes, and I have seen leaders fall into that trap over
the years.
They'll just kind of like, sitin the back and they're like,
okay, do your your littleprogram and when it's time for
small groups, and so this mantraI've been telling my team
lately is full engagement, fullengagement, full engagement.
Like you are creating the vibes.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
It's very important otherwise just have them show up
at small group exactly well,show up for your shift, you here
at 6 30, because we start at 630 yes so you're here the whole
time.
You might as well, you know,engage and that, yeah, brings up
.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
The other thing I want to talk about is like them
in games.
Like when you have leadersplaying the games, the energy it
they're like worth.
If they're doing it right, Ifeel like they're worth like six
people.
Like it's's when my uh leadersstart to play dodgeball and
start to get competitive andlike are very involved in the
(11:04):
game and roughing like no wayyou're out and like good job and
high-fiving kids and you knowit's just like it brings up the
mass a little bit more.
So having your leaders not onlyinvolved in the games like
playing, roughing, splittingteams, encouraging whatever
their role is and I love doingleader only rounds of games when
(11:28):
it fits or works, likedodgeball or tug of war or
kajabi or something like thatit's just like so fun to watch.
We.
We played flag tag the othernight and it was like I felt
like I was watching like thegladiators, like you know, in
the arena and it was like oh,because leaders are especially
(11:49):
the guys, they're like big andso it's like oh, no, like it was
like exciting, because you'relike someone could actually get
hurt.
Like this is crazy and it wasjust so much fun and the could
actually get hurt Like this iscrazy and it was just so much
fun.
And the girls too my girls areso competitive Like they will
not stop.
It was like I felt like we werelike on the set of Wonder Woman
(12:13):
.
You know, when they're in thatlike planet of all girls and
they're just.
It was like you guys arewarriors.
This is so much fun and thekids were cheering everyone on
and they loved it.
So harness the power of theleader vibe and give the kids
something to like, like, aspireto like, wow.
Their energy is cool.
They're involved in worship.
You know leader should be inthe thick of it for worship,
(12:34):
doing the hand motions, jumpingup and down, like getting kids,
you know, riled up.
And then, you know, during theslow songs, my kids have this
tradition.
I don't know when it started,but they all put their arms
around each other and they swayback and forth you know, and I
love when I see a leader in themix of that with their small
group or something like that.
And I think, like the concepthere is that leaders really help
(12:58):
hold some of that relationalweight for you.
Because if you just have agroup of students who are maybe
a little more quiet or reservedor they don't know each other as
well or they're not opening upas much, you throw a leader in
there, like a leader who'sexcited and energetic, that can
carry the weight for the groupand they can kind of steal some
(13:19):
of that energy and it makes itfeel more rounded out, feel
bigger, feel more exciting andjust have that more weight to it
.
And for you too, as the youthpastor or the youth leader, if
that's your role, then you don'thave to carry all that weight
on your own which is so hard, tobe the one planning and
executing and setting upyou know, then, trying to be the
(13:41):
relational glue and the hypeperson and like, ah, I heard of
this church.
This blows me away.
They're a church North of usand they've got bucks Like the
it's a rich church, they I wouldlove this to be my job.
They hired someone in youthministry.
They got paid literally to justbe the welcome, hype, energy,
(14:06):
high fiver relationship guyBecause they weren't like a
preacher but they had theseextreme relationship and
magnetism and charisma and wheredoes one even find that Kids
love them?
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Craigslist man, you can find anything.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
They just hired him to be there and create an
atmosphere of friendliness andwarmth and, like crazy, imagine
that's your job.
I don't have to set anything up, I don't have to tear anything
down, I don't have to teach.
I just have to like make peoplefeel welcome and high five and
play video games with kids.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
I'd be like yes please, unless you're having a
really bad day, you're like Idon't feel up to this, but it's,
you're gonna smile or you'renot getting paid.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
I just thought what a crazy position, yeah I love
that um, anyways.
So maybe you can't pay yourleader to do that.
Hopefully you don't have to,they just will naturally do it,
but don't underestimate theirpower.
Okay, number three can't payyour leader to do that?
Hopefully you don't have to,they just will naturally do it,
but don't underestimate theirpower.
Okay, number three, don't treatyour youth ministry as
insignificant.
And that's kind of what we weretalking about in the beginning.
Like I knew these events I wantto do and the vision I had for
(15:11):
youth ministry was way abovewhere we were at numbers wise,
but I was like, so I'm going tostill do it.
We were at numbers wise, but Iwas like, so I'm going to still
do it too small for worship?
No, we're not.
I'm going to find a worshipteam and I'm going to make it
happen.
Or too small for a big event?
No way.
Like, only the best and onlythe biggest, like I was always
trying to like, treat my youthgroup like a larger one in the
(15:35):
sense that, like I didn't wantour size to be prohibitive of
anything that I wanted to do andso when the youth pastor has
that vision of like, not saying,well, if we were bigger, we
could like.
If you ever find yourself sayingthat ain't like, no, how can
you?
And and some of you are stillrecruiting worship people and
(15:57):
working on it and it's a goaland I know that's such a hard
position to find and fillbecause it's such a specialized
skill but work toward that.
Don't just say, oh well, it'sonly a few kids, so it doesn't
matter.
If we have live worship, theydeserve it, they want it.
Like, play your playlist in themeantime, but actively be
looking to find someone.
That was me a long time andthen you came along.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
Thank you, you did it wasn't necessarily good, but it
was live yeah, and then we justkept getting better from there
and just every year you know?
Speaker 1 (16:31):
no, you were the best um, I was there, but like the
point is treat your youth groupwith the respect it deserves.
You know, don't, don't curbyour efforts because it's only a
few kids, right?
So, whatever your dreams are,figure out how to make those
happen.
Yeah, you know, whatever yourvision is like, if you think,
(16:54):
well, if I had 100 kids, I dothis, do it.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Right.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Find a way, do it to how it works for you, but don't
just say, well, it does.
You know, and I think that'ssometimes youth pastors just get
stuck in that rut.
When it's a small youth groupis they treat it like something
like oh well, it's just, it'ssmall right, who cares?
Speaker 2 (17:17):
They won't care.
Your students won't care, yeah,and they won't show up.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
Instead of like I you know I've brought up her quote
so many times my admin now Arden.
Her experience as a junior hirewas you guys did all this for
us.
You know, and I'm like ah, Iwill never forget that, because
I would want every youth groupkid to look around at the effort
(17:40):
that the youth pastor put in orthe church put in for events
and programs and events, gamesand camps or whatever, and to
say you did all this for us, youknow like.
Treat it as if it were ahundred people you needed to
impress.
Do that for the five, six, 10,12, whatever you have right now.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
So, and we've talked about this a million times but
good leaders find solutions, badleaders find problems, you know
it's like you can always find aproblem, but it's those that
are good leaders that are like.
I'm going to figure out thesolution to this problem.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Yeah, problems and excuses.
I think that youth pastors, andprobably just people in general
, are very good at findingexcuses instead of finding a way
.
You know, it's just like.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
The old adage if there's a will, there's a way.
A way it's like do you have thewill to make it happen?
Speaker 1 (18:32):
yeah, or just I.
I know it can be discouraging,nobody's going to deny that, but
there usually is a solution ifyou're willing to push hard
enough you know for what youwant.
And then, number four watchyour language.
Okay, knock it off.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
No one's gonna come so don't swear no swearing
during youth group and that willmake your youth group feel much
bigger.
Yeah, see how that makes senseno, I mean limiting talk like oh
yes, jeff, that was a Good one.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
So here's some phrases to just get out of your
vocabulary.
I have fallen into this trap,especially on those nights where
you're like, oh my gosh, whereis everyone?
And you start to cringe likethis is so weird.
There's only like two kids here, so do not say things oh, it's
so hard.
Where is everyone?
Oh, that's such a hurt.
(19:30):
Where is everyone Right?
Oh, that's such a hurtful thing, because then everyone's.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
There is a no one.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Exactly.
It's like, and I even hate like, if a kid shows up early and
they'll like look at me.
Where is everyone?
Like I, I didn't sign up forthis Like.
I didn't want this and I'm likeI don't want this and I'm like
I don't know.
You're like a half an hourearly.
They're coming when it's timeor late, so chill.
But when we say it as thepastor, like where is everyone?
(19:58):
There's like nobody here.
When we say stuff like that,we're devaluing, like you said,
who is there and it just makesit seem like we are dissatisfied
or we are like checked out orwe're not bought in.
Hey friend, I just wanted tointerrupt this episode for a
second to let you know about anawesome opportunity for you and
(20:19):
your youth ministry.
So last year we launched ourcourse and coaching program
called Youth Ministry GrowthAccelerator and the response has
been amazing.
So we've helped tons of youthpastors grow the size and health
of their youth ministry and wewant to invite you to be a part
of that as well, because maybeyou're just sort of feeling
stuck in a rut, maybe you don'tknow what to do next, maybe you
(20:42):
just have a vague plan in yourmind of what you're doing and
you want some real help to getyou from where you are to where
you want to go.
So if that sounds likesomething you've been looking
for, go togrowyouryouthministrycom and
check it out for more details.
All right, let's get back to theepisode.
Another one would be like ifyou used to work at a church.
(21:03):
You know like how I said.
I used to work at a youth groupthat was like 300.
And then my first day at theother campus nobody cares about
your ex-girlfriend.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
No one wants to hear about it, right?
Speaker 1 (21:13):
um, but it's like don't compare it to where you
came from.
Like well, when I was at myother church.
Like my other boyfriend,they're not gonna be like, no
way wow, you're so important.
They're just gonna be like okay, then why are you here?
Speaker 2 (21:30):
like when people compare, you're just it's so
uncomfortable, so devaluingagain even something simple as
like like saying like well, itlooks like we have a smaller
group tonight.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
I would not even say that don't point it out, just
run with it thank you for thevips who are here and then, like
we kind of already touched onthis, but that saying, like
saying something like, oh, we'retoo small for that, like if a
student has an idea or ifthere's a place they want to go
or an event they want to do orsomething they want to
(22:02):
incorporate, you know, oh, we'retoo small for that, even if
you're just talking to yourselflike I wish we could, but we're
too small, you know.
It's like, well, notnecessarily.
I think you, just you need todo it differently.
So don't like look at your sizeand be like, oh, I wish we
could, whatever you want to do,find a way, like we were saying.
And then this is more of aninternal thing, and we've done a
(22:24):
whole episode on this, I think,but just comparing yourself to
another youth group in town, youknow, or in your area or
something like that.
You know, if they're the big oneand you're the small one,
you're like womp, womp, likesometimes it feels like what's
wrong with us, like why are wethe small one?
And it's so demoralizing aftera while, but don't give into
(22:46):
that, because who God want, likeGod has sent kids to you and
they're no less valuable thanthe kids at the other youth
group and it doesn't meanthey're doing something right
and you're doing something wrong.
Like everybody has a ministryand you know, like that will
knock the wind out of your sails.
Probably the quickest is thatcomparison thing of like I mean
(23:10):
and I remember kids used to doit when I first came to our, our
campus they'd be like have youheard of this church?
Have you heard of this youthpastor?
Like I go to that one, likeokay, like great Thanks, I feel
already like a loser and nowyou're just like putting the
cherry on top, thank you.
And so that mind game is justreally hard and I just remember
thinking I have to just focus onwhat.
Yeah, thank you.
And so that mind game is justreally hard and I just remember
(23:32):
thinking I have to just focus onwhat's in front of me.
Where has God put me?
What has God given me?
Where has God put me?
What has God given me?
And I will steward the heck outof this.
I will manage it and just takecare of it like almost
aggressively, like I will lovethis thing and you know it did
pay off.
You know just took time andtime and time and time, but
(23:55):
there are so many.
Let's just talk about it now,cause this is a good time but
there's so many advantages to asmall youth group.
So if you're finding yourselfin that position and you're like
discouraged, don't be becauseyou have you're in a position
for such relationship advantageright now.
Like I was never closer to thestudents in my youth group.
(24:17):
as to when we were small, I knewevery single kid I could go to
their practices.
Not practices, that's too much.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
Their games.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
I went to their recitals, I knew their families,
I was going to their birthdayparties.
Like it was just so sweet, likeI felt like I got to do true
discipleship, life on life.
And that is so sweet becausethat's why a lot of youth
pastors get into youth ministry,because they love students.
And then when you grow, yourdistance between you and the
student grows and you are moreleading your leaders than
(24:50):
leading your students.
But when we're small I feltlike I had a very good pulse on
every single student and I coulddo.
Like the other thing too is youcan do more and planning things
is you look at all the thingsyou can't do but actually
there's a ton you can do.
Because transportation's not asa big of an issue for you.
Money goes a lot further.
(25:11):
Like there's just things likeyou can make, because
transportation's not as a big ofan issue for you.
Money goes a lot further.
Like there's just things likeyou can make things nicer.
Like I'll hear people say, oh,we do a meal before youth group.
I'm like that sounds beautiful.
Like everyone's sitting down todinner.
I can't feed all these people.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
Like we don't get to imagine the mess they would make
.
Oh my gosh, like these intimatesetting things, I get to
imagine the mess they would.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
Oh my gosh, like these intimate setting things.
I used to have the studentleadership team over at my house
.
I can't do that anymore.
Like there's just things thathave had to shift and change
because we got big so actuallybringing up the student
leadership.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
When you have a smaller ministry it's so much
easier to convert those students, once they graduate, back into
leaders because you have such astrong connection with them.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
Yeah, and they've like really caught the DNA of
the ministry and your mentorshipand all of that.
So, yeah, you can.
I feel like I could go moreplaces and do like.
I was even talking to my guys,director Caleb, today, and I was
like talking about how ourbeach days have even evolved.
It's like I used to put thekids in the van and I'd take
(26:14):
them all down.
It's like I don't, it doesn'tmake sense anymore, like, and
then we'd all go to in and outafterwards and it's like that
doesn't make sense anymore.
Now it's a lot moreprogrammatic, like hey, this is
drop-off time, pickup time,instead of like me and all my
students in the van going toIn-N-Out and the beach today.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
It's like breaking things in the van.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
Yeah, they broke every cup holder in the entire
world.
So I guess maybe it was a goodthing that they're not there.
But you know, like you can't dothose organic relationship
things anymore, everything's alot more programmed and formal.
You know you have to haveformal logistical processes for
every single thing.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
It feels much more like a family when you're little
.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
It does.
And so you know, I just saythat to encourage the youth
pastor.
That's like, oh, I wish we weregrowing.
Yeah, growth is great, it is,but it's also a very sweet time
when you're small.
So, lastly, number five.
So make sure.
So this is going back to like,let's think program right now,
(27:18):
how to make your program feelbigger with less people.
Make sure there's things, notonly things to do, like before
your program or after yourprogram, Things to do and
leaders at those things.
So, going kind of back toharnessing the power of your
leaders, your volunteersstrategically place them around.
(27:40):
What I mean is like there hasto be something that feels like
the happenings, like something'shappening instead of just like
here are four people on a couch,hello welcome, please sit next
to us and try to start aconversation.
But when things are happening,it the energy feels eventful and
(28:01):
bigger.
And the way we used to do thisis we would have bryant remember
he would be outside playinglike butts up with the kids.
So that was like a fun outdoorthing that you could go and join
, and then I would usually beinside dominating on mario kart.
Like, literally like winningembarrassingly winning literally
(28:22):
every single round.
So much so that I told samcomiford I said, if you can beat
me, uh, you can win this tvthat we're playing on he's like
13 inch, no color tv, tube tvcould be yours and he's like,
seriously, I'm like, yeah, ifyou beat me, you get the tv and
(28:43):
that next wednesday I was in thesenior pastor's office
explaining why we didn't have atv anymore uh, no, I didn didn't
lose.
I never lost, okay, moving on,never lose.
And then someone would beoutside playing basketball we
have this like freestanding,very dangerous basketball hoop
because the kids would try todunk on it.
And then we would have like aroamer kind of catching new kids
(29:05):
, like someone just kind ofhanging out looking for new
families, maybe another leaderplaying four square.
So just strategically use yourleaders during program time to
get away from that, like forpeople having an awkward
conversation on the couch beforeit begins, like what would a
large group be doing?
They would all be spread out,they would all be doing
(29:27):
something different, and it justgives options and again takes
relational weight off of people.
And it just gives options andagain takes relational weight
off of people.
And that's what we're trying todo.
Is that like it's not just yougo from zero to 60 relationally.
It's like I show up and I haveto immediately be in
conversation with someone.
And the reason for that ifyou're just a Bible study or a
(29:49):
small group, that makes a lot ofsense.
But a youth group's purpose,part of it is outreach and there
should be an easy way for newpeople to come in, for people to
invite their friends withouthaving to be relationally
intimate, right then.
But if all we're doing issitting on a couch waiting for a
youth group to start, that'slike zero to 60 on relational
(30:11):
intimacy right away instead ofwaiting.
Okay, we played a game, therewas some casual time, the snack
shack was open, there was music,I had options of how to roam
and what to do instead of it'sall focused in one area and
there's nowhere else to go.
Like that is so high pressureand that's what makes a small
youth group feel super small and, again, not bad numbers.
(30:34):
Wise to be small, but sometimessmall groups carry with it just
a different energy that isoff-putting to someone who's new
, or inviting someone or wantingto do something else besides.
Just sit there, so, I think,gathering your team and kind of
explaining this vision and say,hey, here's the atmosphere we're
(30:56):
trying to create, like can youstart a game of wall ball or
butts up or you know horse oryou know all kinds of stuff,
ultimate Frisbee, and let's justhave like happenings going on
while students are coming andthen at the end, while they're
getting picked up or however youdo it.
So yeah, that's all of it.
Do you have any questions, jeff?
Speaker 2 (31:16):
No, I know you have a huge heart for small youth
ministries, cause you at onepoint were one.
I have a huge heart for smallministry Cause that's when I
started volunteering.
It was small and I know it canbe frustrating.
I know that as a youth pastor,you can probably be sitting and
thinking what am I doing?
Is this even worth it?
Especially when you do havethat, like well across town,
there's a youth group going ontomorrow night.
(31:36):
That has you know a thousandkids or whatever, but I think
really remember that you knowGod has put certain students in
your ministry and he has themthere for a reason and you need
to just build thoserelationships with them and
they're probably there becausethey like that small atmosphere.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
And there's something to be said for that.
Not every church should be amega church.
No, that would be horrible.
That would be horrible Becauseyou'd have so many people being
like I'm not dealing with that,I'm not dealing with the parking
.
I'm not dealing with sittingnext to somebody I don't know
every single week.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
Right.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
So there's that intimacy in a smaller youth
group, that family vibe.
That's good.
And when those people getcomfortable and enjoy the youth
group, they may enjoy it beingsmall, but they will probably
invite people they know, sure,and then your youth group will
eventually grow in a healthy way, and so healthy growth, you're
right.
That's, and that's what's mostimportant.
(32:26):
If your youth group is healthy,then you're doing it right.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
Yeah, and I always the growth will come.
Think what is my job right.
Yeah, and I always the growthwill come.
Think what is my job.
Faithfulness, not the bibledoesn't say grow a huge youth
group like that's not thecommand, it's faithfulness.
And I always go back to what hetold peter if you love me, feed
my sheep.
So the faithfulness of feedingthe sheep, however many sheep
(32:50):
there are.
He doesn't say he just offeeding the sheep however many
sheep there are.
He doesn't say he just saysfeed the sheep.
Feed my sheep, take care of mypeople.
That's what a pastor does.
Is they simply shepherd andtake care of the flock.
So if you're doing thatfaithfully, then you're doing it
.
So, be be OK with it.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
Yeah, all right, let's do a community comment of
the day and then after that weare going to announce our first
two winners for our 250thepisode giveaway.
Our 250th episode was twoepisodes ago the one we did the
whole youth group tour, so makesure you check that out.
But last week we announced thatwe're doing a 250th episode
giveaway, so the two firstwinners are going to be tonight.
(33:30):
Stick around for just twominutes here, all right.
This comes from Shane Coker,who says there's so much around
student ministry that feels soheavy and complicated, but each
of your videos breaks it downwhere I feel so encouraged and
hopeful.
I love how you can fill anepisode with so many fun ideas
and still bring everything backto the gospel.
That's all on you.
You're good at that.
(33:51):
Thank you, shane.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
That was a great comment.
We appreciate that.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
Kristen does an excellent job at doing that.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
Oh, thanks, Chef.
Oh, you're welcome.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
Another sweet comment from Jeff Las Cola.
Speaker 1 (34:02):
I'm glad he feels like it is broken up and doable.
Yeah, you know like, instead ofjust like one big untangled
mess, like a tangled up mess tofigure out A whole mess of
student ministry.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
No one's gonna get that reference, it was office I
was gonna tell them to guessguess put in the comment section
below what you thought itwas, hey, tell you what for our
250th episode giveaway.
We are giving additionalentries if you do comments and
you'll have to go back and lastweek's episode has all the
instructions, we'll link itbelow.
But, like I was saying, you getextra entries, and today you
(34:38):
can get some extra entries byputting in the comment section
what was your favorite episodethat this podcast has ever done?
Put in the comment sectionbelow and you'll get five extra
entries.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
So probably gonna be hard to pick just one, well,
maybe you can put this one,since you're listening to, it,
all right easy.
Speaker 2 (34:55):
Our two winners and you guys are winning the epic
water filter water bottles wowtwo winners are number one drum
roll.
Please, adam swar, and excuseme if I pronounced your name
wrong.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
Adam.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
And the other winner is Mike Torres.
Mike and Adam.
We win a water bottle.
Mike and Adam.
Different water bottles too.
You don't have to share, no.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
You're going to ship it back and forth Share
ownership.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
And postage is on you guys.
You got to figure out howyou're going to get it back, not
our problem.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
You guys each get one .
It's in the fine print and wethank Epic Water.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
Filters for donating those.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
Thank you, Epic Water Bottles we appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
We thank you guys for watching and listening, and if
you do want to get into thegiveaway, you do have to email
us at ministrycoachpodcast at gemailcom and just put free to 50
.
That way we know you're in thegiveaway and we're going to be
doing that over the next fewweeks, so you haven't lost your
only chance to win.
Speaker 1 (35:59):
All right.
Speaker 2 (35:59):
Thank you guys for watching and listening.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
And we'll see you next time.
Today we are talking about fiveways to make your small Ruth
group, five ways to make yoursmall church youth ministry feel
much, much bigger.
Are you looking for?
Are you looking for ways tomake your small youth group feel
bigger than it really is?
Are you looking to make your smaller youth group
have bigger energy?
Then stick around, becausewe're going to give you five
ways to do just that.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Welcome to the Ministry Coach Podcast, where we
give you weekly tips andtactics to help you fast-track
the growth and health of youryouth ministry.
My name is Jeff Laskola andthis is Kristen Laskola.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
And today we are going to talk about ways to make
a small youth group feel bigger.
And caveat here like it doesn'tmean that bigger is better.
It's not saying like, oh pooryou little youth group.
Well, here's how to be a bigone or feel like a big one
because some youth groups aresmall and that's fine.
(00:51):
And what we're talking aboutmore when we say feel bigger is
just sometimes you want adifferent type of like energy or
magnetism.
Sometimes that's lacking in asmall youth group.
It doesn't mean small is bad,it just means like you might
want something that has more ofa buzz and a draw.
And if that's what you'relooking for, I have a few ideas
(01:14):
and ways to create thatmagnetism and that buzz and that
energy, even if the numbersaren't necessarily there,
because when you're a big youthgroup you can just sort of rely
on the critical mass that's inthe room to provide the energy.
You might be doing the sameexact thing, but it just feels
(01:34):
bigger or like more dynamic in alarge group setting, even
though it's the same game or thesame event, and you know I'm
speaking from experience becauseI went from working at a very
large youth group, like 300 kids, to then getting shipped to
another campus which was a verysmall youth group which was like
(01:57):
11 kids, and then we've grownsince then to now like about 150
.
So I've been big, big, smalland everything in between I feel
like, and when we're reallysmall, like thinking back to
like the 11 kid youth ministry,I loved it.
By the way, I was not like, ohman, my goal is to grow it to
(02:20):
200 kids.
It was just I'm going to dogood ministry and whatever
happens happens, 200 kids.
It was just I'm going to dogood ministry and whatever
happens happens.
But I loved the small feel andI'll explain why in a little bit
and we'll talk about some ofthe benefits to a small youth
group.
But I remember having tostrategize a few things that I
like, things I wanted to do, butI just couldn't quite pull off
the right way or the way Ishouldn't say the right way, the
(02:43):
way I wanted it to be, withoutthe numbers being there, and so
you kind of had to find someworkarounds and that's what I'm
going to share with you today.
So number one I normally say wedon't combine with high school,
but there was a season where I Iwasn't combining my youth group
with high school, even at 11kids it was just junior high.
(03:05):
But I would decide for numbersand energy and resources sake,
to combine with our high schoolministry for some things.
For example, we used to do anall nighter and I just felt like
, well, I only have 11 kids andnot all of them are going to
sign up.
So like what am I taking fouror five kids around the town?
(03:27):
Like all night long, maybe, butI thought it would be more fun
and more energetic and more of avibe if we had more people.
So I would like um scheme withour high school pastor and we
would have a joint effort in thebus and a joint effort and
booking these places.
And then we had more of a massof like 20 to 30 kids, you know,
(03:48):
coming to an event, rather thanfive or six, and it just felt
like, ooh, this is fun, likethis is an event you know not
like a small group.
And here's the hard thing withreally small groups at events is
like if you show up and likeyou're almost forced to be
friends with those other four orfive, you know there's no
(04:11):
escaping, like you can't blendin or kind of just hang with one
person.
It's kind of like we're eitherall together or we're not,
because there's nowhere to run,nowhere to hide, and so the
relational weight gets shiftedas well.
It's a different dynamic.
So I loved combining with him,for we used to do beach days
(04:34):
together.
So we would like take the kidsin the summer down to the beach
every Thursday and we wouldcombine junior, high and high
school for that Cause it wasn'tlike program.
It was like we would combinejunior, high and high school for
that because it wasn't likeprogram.
It was like, hey, it's just afun, casual beach day and there
was enough room for them to.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
High school could be over here and junior high can be
over here and I loved itbecause I got to see.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
I very rarely get to see my old high school students
like in a prolonged setting,it's more like in passing, like
at church, like hi, you know.
But I loved that.
Um, we would do it for the allnighter.
And then the other strategy Iused, rather than just combining
with high school, you know, wehave the benefit of being a
(05:18):
multi-site church, so we havelike about eight campuses within
like a 30 mile radius orsomething like that.
So I would combine with othercampuses to do camps.
And I still do that for mywinter camp because we rent out
the entire conference center.
So you know, it's justdifferent campuses but, the same
(05:39):
church.
we would do this after thebattle in October.
That's like our big competitionseries.
We would do reward trip.
We've done different places,you know Six Flags or a water
park, depending on the time ofyear, and I would combine with
them for that.
So like, okay, maybe I can'tafford a bus all on my own and I
(05:59):
don't want to do all thesedrivers and group rate tickets
and all of that kind of stuffworked so great, Just kind of
riding the coattails of anotherlarger campus or combining with
a campus.
And you might be thinking, well, I'm not multi-site, so I guess
this doesn't apply to me.
However, I mean, whatever yourpreferences, I feel like it's
(06:21):
not even a bad idea to combinewith another smaller church in
your area and be like, hey, whatif we both ran our competition
series at the same time and thencombine for the reward trip.
Or what are you guys doing forsummer camp?
Would you want to do a combinedrafting trip?
or camping or boating trip orsomething like that.
(06:41):
So if you need more resources,if you need to justify
transportation on a larger scale, if you want to have more
people, just for the vibe, youmight have to combine with
either another student ministryin your church or in your area
and your vicinity.
So that's how I got by foractually a very long time.
(07:03):
Years and years and years,until we eventually grew to a
point where I'm like I think Icould do my own all nighter,
like I remember having thatthought like years down the line
of like I think I can do it onmy own, but I couldn't for years
.
It wasn't like one year I hadto combine.
It was like this was my methodof ministry for a very, very,
(07:23):
very long time who can I combinewith to do the things I want to
do, but I know I can't do themon my own.
So as a small youth group, Iwasn't just like, well, I'm not
going to do them.
I was like, well, that's so funand I don't want our kids to
miss out.
It's like well we're the smallyouth group and we don't get to
do the cool trips, we don't getto do Six Flags or whatever it
might be.
It's like, well, we're going todo it.
(07:44):
I just got to find a way, youknow, to make this work, and I
did, and nobody complained andit was great.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
And yeah.
So how do you justify that with?
Because you're very adamantlike to not combine middle
school and high school?
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Right.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Is it just because it's a special event?
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Yeah, I would never do it, for, like our weekly
program, like I said, even whenwe were 11 kids, it was just I'm
like Tuesday nights, me and thejunior hires for years and
years and years, but to do aspecial event I just felt like
was different.
You know, and now I don'tcombine and I prefer it that way
(08:25):
.
you know, but I didn't minddoing what I had to do at the
time to do a cool event, Like Ithink it's just like a weight of
value, you know what I mean.
It's like this is worth itbecause I want to do this event,
I think this has value.
To do these big cool events,you know, because I didn't want
(08:47):
our kids to feel like they werecompromising by being the small
campus or that they werecompromising by coming to a
small youth group.
It's like small but mighty, westill do all the things.
So I think in that sense it wasworth it.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Okay.
So number two, another way youcan make your smaller youth
group have that energy, thatbuzz.
And this one man is the leaderenergy, ever important, like it
is your team, your leaders, youradults.
They are the culture setters,the tone setters, the energy
harnesses, the nucleus ofmagnetism.
(09:23):
It comes from leaders and whatI mean by that is you know, I've
heard youth pastors say a lotman, I think my leaders need to
be more welcoming, like I don'tknow that they're out there
looking for the new kid, andthat's a culture thing, that's a
training talking, dripping itin kind of thing of like hey,
you should be talking the newkid, and that's a culture thing,
that's a training talking.
Dripping it in kind of thing oflike hey, you should be talking
to a kid.
Like you should be looking forthe new people you should be
(09:46):
welcoming.
So, creating that welcomingatmosphere from the top down.
You know those leaders beinglike, they're just like heat
sensing, like who needsrelationship right now, like,
and they go after it.
Speaker 2 (10:01):
It's such an energy boost and not just standing or
sitting in the back waiting forsmall groups or things like that
, like thinking like oh, I'm off.
Right, you know not my time.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Yes, and I have seen leaders fall into that trap over
the years.
They'll just kind of like, sitin the back and they're like,
okay, do your your littleprogram and when it's time for
small groups, and so this mantraI've been telling my team
lately is full engagement, fullengagement, full engagement.
Like you are creating the vibes.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
It's very important otherwise just have them show up
at small group exactly well,show up for your shift, you here
at 6 30, because we start at 630 yes so you're here the whole
time.
You might as well, you know,engage and that, yeah, brings up
.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
The other thing I want to talk about is like them
in games.
Like when you have leadersplaying the games, the energy it
they're like worth.
If they're doing it right, Ifeel like they're worth like six
people.
Like it's's when my uh leadersstart to play dodgeball and
start to get competitive andlike are very involved in the
(11:04):
game and roughing like no wayyou're out and like good job and
high-fiving kids and you knowit's just like it brings up the
mass a little bit more.
So having your leaders not onlyinvolved in the games like
playing, roughing, splittingteams, encouraging whatever
their role is and I love doingleader only rounds of games when
(11:28):
it fits or works, likedodgeball or tug of war or
kajabi or something like thatit's just like so fun to watch.
We.
We played flag tag the othernight and it was like I felt
like I was watching like thegladiators, like you know, in
the arena and it was like oh,because leaders are especially
(11:49):
the guys, they're like big andso it's like oh, no, like it was
like exciting, because you'relike someone could actually get
hurt.
Like this is crazy and it wasjust so much fun and the could
actually get hurt Like this iscrazy and it was just so much
fun.
And the girls too my girls areso competitive Like they will
not stop.
It was like I felt like we werelike on the set of Wonder Woman
(12:13):
.
You know, when they're in thatlike planet of all girls and
they're just.
It was like you guys arewarriors.
This is so much fun and thekids were cheering everyone on
and they loved it.
So harness the power of theleader vibe and give the kids
something to like, like, aspireto like, wow.
Their energy is cool.
They're involved in worship.
You know leader should be inthe thick of it for worship,
(12:34):
doing the hand motions, jumpingup and down, like getting kids,
you know, riled up.
And then, you know, during theslow songs, my kids have this
tradition.
I don't know when it started,but they all put their arms
around each other and they swayback and forth you know, and I
love when I see a leader in themix of that with their small
group or something like that.
And I think, like the concepthere is that leaders really help
(12:58):
hold some of that relationalweight for you.
Because if you just have agroup of students who are maybe
a little more quiet or reservedor they don't know each other as
well or they're not opening upas much, you throw a leader in
there, like a leader who'sexcited and energetic, that can
carry the weight for the groupand they can kind of steal some
(13:19):
of that energy and it makes itfeel more rounded out, feel
bigger, feel more exciting andjust have that more weight to it
.
And for you too, as the youthpastor or the youth leader, if
that's your role, then you don'thave to carry all that weight
on your own which is so hard, tobe the one planning and
executing and setting upyou know, then, trying to be the
(13:41):
relational glue and the hypeperson and like, ah, I heard of
this church.
This blows me away.
They're a church North of usand they've got bucks Like the
it's a rich church, they I wouldlove this to be my job.
They hired someone in youthministry.
They got paid literally to justbe the welcome, hype, energy,
(14:06):
high fiver relationship guyBecause they weren't like a
preacher but they had theseextreme relationship and
magnetism and charisma and wheredoes one even find that Kids
love them?
Speaker 2 (14:18):
Craigslist man, you can find anything.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
They just hired him to be there and create an
atmosphere of friendliness andwarmth and, like crazy, imagine
that's your job.
I don't have to set anything up, I don't have to tear anything
down, I don't have to teach.
I just have to like make peoplefeel welcome and high five and
play video games with kids.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
I'd be like yes please, unless you're having a
really bad day, you're like Idon't feel up to this, but it's,
you're gonna smile or you'renot getting paid.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
I just thought what a crazy position, yeah I love
that um, anyways.
So maybe you can't pay yourleader to do that.
Hopefully you don't have to,they just will naturally do it,
but don't underestimate theirpower.
Okay, number three can't payyour leader to do that?
Hopefully you don't have to,they just will naturally do it,
but don't underestimate theirpower.
Okay, number three, don't treatyour youth ministry as
insignificant.
And that's kind of what we weretalking about in the beginning.
Like I knew these events I wantto do and the vision I had for
(15:11):
youth ministry was way abovewhere we were at numbers wise,
but I was like, so I'm going tostill do it.
We were at numbers wise, but Iwas like, so I'm going to still
do it too small for worship?
No, we're not.
I'm going to find a worshipteam and I'm going to make it
happen.
Or too small for a big event?
No way.
Like, only the best and onlythe biggest, like I was always
trying to like, treat my youthgroup like a larger one in the
(15:35):
sense that, like I didn't wantour size to be prohibitive of
anything that I wanted to do andso when the youth pastor has
that vision of like, not saying,well, if we were bigger, we
could like.
If you ever find yourself sayingthat ain't like, no, how can
you?
And and some of you are stillrecruiting worship people and
(15:57):
working on it and it's a goaland I know that's such a hard
position to find and fillbecause it's such a specialized
skill but work toward that.
Don't just say, oh well, it'sonly a few kids, so it doesn't
matter.
If we have live worship, theydeserve it, they want it.
Like, play your playlist in themeantime, but actively be
looking to find someone.
That was me a long time andthen you came along.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
Thank you, you did it wasn't necessarily good, but it
was live yeah, and then we justkept getting better from there
and just every year you know?
Speaker 1 (16:31):
no, you were the best um, I was there, but like the
point is treat your youth groupwith the respect it deserves.
You know, don't, don't curbyour efforts because it's only a
few kids, right?
So, whatever your dreams are,figure out how to make those
happen.
Yeah, you know, whatever yourvision is like, if you think,
(16:54):
well, if I had 100 kids, I dothis, do it.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Right.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Find a way, do it to how it works for you, but don't
just say, well, it does.
You know, and I think that'ssometimes youth pastors just get
stuck in that rut.
When it's a small youth groupis they treat it like something
like oh well, it's just, it'ssmall right, who cares?
Speaker 2 (17:17):
They won't care.
Your students won't care, yeah,and they won't show up.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
Instead of like I you know I've brought up her quote
so many times my admin now Arden.
Her experience as a junior hirewas you guys did all this for
us.
You know, and I'm like ah, Iwill never forget that, because
I would want every youth groupkid to look around at the effort
(17:40):
that the youth pastor put in orthe church put in for events
and programs and events, gamesand camps or whatever, and to
say you did all this for us, youknow like.
Treat it as if it were ahundred people you needed to
impress.
Do that for the five, six, 10,12, whatever you have right now.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
So, and we've talked about this a million times but
good leaders find solutions, badleaders find problems, you know
it's like you can always find aproblem, but it's those that
are good leaders that are like.
I'm going to figure out thesolution to this problem.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Yeah, problems and excuses.
I think that youth pastors, andprobably just people in general
, are very good at findingexcuses instead of finding a way
.
You know, it's just like.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
The old adage if there's a will, there's a way.
A way it's like do you have thewill to make it happen?
Speaker 1 (18:32):
yeah, or just I.
I know it can be discouraging,nobody's going to deny that, but
there usually is a solution ifyou're willing to push hard
enough you know for what youwant.
And then, number four watchyour language.
Okay, knock it off.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
No one's gonna come so don't swear no swearing
during youth group and that willmake your youth group feel much
bigger.
Yeah, see how that makes senseno, I mean limiting talk like oh
yes, jeff, that was a Good one.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
So here's some phrases to just get out of your
vocabulary.
I have fallen into this trap,especially on those nights where
you're like, oh my gosh, whereis everyone?
And you start to cringe likethis is so weird.
There's only like two kids here, so do not say things oh, it's
so hard.
Where is everyone?
Oh, that's such a hurt.
(19:30):
Where is everyone Right?
Oh, that's such a hurtful thing, because then everyone's.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
There is a no one.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Exactly.
It's like, and I even hate like, if a kid shows up early and
they'll like look at me.
Where is everyone?
Like I, I didn't sign up forthis Like.
I didn't want this and I'm likeI don't want this and I'm like
I don't know.
You're like a half an hourearly.
They're coming when it's timeor late, so chill.
But when we say it as thepastor, like where is everyone?
(19:58):
There's like nobody here.
When we say stuff like that,we're devaluing, like you said,
who is there and it just makesit seem like we are dissatisfied
or we are like checked out orwe're not bought in.
Hey friend, I just wanted tointerrupt this episode for a
second to let you know about anawesome opportunity for you and
(20:19):
your youth ministry.
So last year we launched ourcourse and coaching program
called Youth Ministry GrowthAccelerator and the response has
been amazing.
So we've helped tons of youthpastors grow the size and health
of their youth ministry and wewant to invite you to be a part
of that as well, because maybeyou're just sort of feeling
stuck in a rut, maybe you don'tknow what to do next, maybe you
(20:42):
just have a vague plan in yourmind of what you're doing and
you want some real help to getyou from where you are to where
you want to go.
So if that sounds likesomething you've been looking
for, go togrowyouryouthministrycom and
check it out for more details.
All right, let's get back to theepisode.
Another one would be like ifyou used to work at a church.
(21:03):
You know like how I said.
I used to work at a youth groupthat was like 300.
And then my first day at theother campus nobody cares about
your ex-girlfriend.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
No one wants to hear about it, right?
Speaker 1 (21:13):
um, but it's like don't compare it to where you
came from.
Like well, when I was at myother church.
Like my other boyfriend,they're not gonna be like, no
way wow, you're so important.
They're just gonna be like okay, then why are you here?
Speaker 2 (21:30):
like when people compare, you're just it's so
uncomfortable, so devaluingagain even something simple as
like like saying like well, itlooks like we have a smaller
group tonight.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
I would not even say that don't point it out, just
run with it thank you for thevips who are here and then, like
we kind of already touched onthis, but that saying, like
saying something like, oh, we'retoo small for that, like if a
student has an idea or ifthere's a place they want to go
or an event they want to do orsomething they want to
(22:02):
incorporate, you know, oh, we'retoo small for that, even if
you're just talking to yourselflike I wish we could, but we're
too small, you know.
It's like, well, notnecessarily.
I think you, just you need todo it differently.
So don't like look at your sizeand be like, oh, I wish we
could, whatever you want to do,find a way, like we were saying.
And then this is more of aninternal thing, and we've done a
(22:24):
whole episode on this, I think,but just comparing yourself to
another youth group in town, youknow, or in your area or
something like that.
You know, if they're the big oneand you're the small one,
you're like womp, womp, likesometimes it feels like what's
wrong with us, like why are wethe small one?
And it's so demoralizing aftera while, but don't give into
(22:46):
that, because who God want, likeGod has sent kids to you and
they're no less valuable thanthe kids at the other youth
group and it doesn't meanthey're doing something right
and you're doing something wrong.
Like everybody has a ministryand you know, like that will
knock the wind out of your sails.
Probably the quickest is thatcomparison thing of like I mean
(23:10):
and I remember kids used to doit when I first came to our, our
campus they'd be like have youheard of this church?
Have you heard of this youthpastor?
Like I go to that one, likeokay, like great Thanks, I feel
already like a loser and nowyou're just like putting the
cherry on top, thank you.
And so that mind game is justreally hard and I just remember
thinking I have to just focus onwhat.
Yeah, thank you.
And so that mind game is justreally hard and I just remember
(23:32):
thinking I have to just focus onwhat's in front of me.
Where has God put me?
What has God given me?
Where has God put me?
What has God given me?
And I will steward the heck outof this.
I will manage it and just takecare of it like almost
aggressively, like I will lovethis thing and you know it did
pay off.
You know just took time andtime and time and time, but
(23:55):
there are so many.
Let's just talk about it now,cause this is a good time but
there's so many advantages to asmall youth group.
So if you're finding yourselfin that position and you're like
discouraged, don't be becauseyou have you're in a position
for such relationship advantageright now.
Like I was never closer to thestudents in my youth group.
(24:17):
as to when we were small, I knewevery single kid I could go to
their practices.
Not practices, that's too much.
Speaker 2 (24:26):
Their games.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
I went to their recitals, I knew their families,
I was going to their birthdayparties.
Like it was just so sweet, likeI felt like I got to do true
discipleship, life on life.
And that is so sweet becausethat's why a lot of youth
pastors get into youth ministry,because they love students.
And then when you grow, yourdistance between you and the
student grows and you are moreleading your leaders than
(24:50):
leading your students.
But when we're small I feltlike I had a very good pulse on
every single student and I coulddo.
Like the other thing too is youcan do more and planning things
is you look at all the thingsyou can't do but actually
there's a ton you can do.
Because transportation's not asa big of an issue for you.
Money goes a lot further.
(25:11):
Like there's just things likeyou can make, because
transportation's not as a big ofan issue for you.
Money goes a lot further.
Like there's just things likeyou can make things nicer.
Like I'll hear people say, oh,we do a meal before youth group.
I'm like that sounds beautiful.
Like everyone's sitting down todinner.
I can't feed all these people.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
Like we don't get to imagine the mess they would make
.
Oh my gosh, like these intimatesetting things, I get to
imagine the mess they would.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
Oh my gosh, like these intimate setting things.
I used to have the studentleadership team over at my house
.
I can't do that anymore.
Like there's just things thathave had to shift and change
because we got big so actuallybringing up the student
leadership.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
When you have a smaller ministry it's so much
easier to convert those students, once they graduate, back into
leaders because you have such astrong connection with them.
Speaker 1 (25:53):
Yeah, and they've like really caught the DNA of
the ministry and your mentorshipand all of that.
So, yeah, you can.
I feel like I could go moreplaces and do like.
I was even talking to my guys,director Caleb, today, and I was
like talking about how ourbeach days have even evolved.
It's like I used to put thekids in the van and I'd take
(26:14):
them all down.
It's like I don't, it doesn'tmake sense anymore, like, and
then we'd all go to in and outafterwards and it's like that
doesn't make sense anymore.
Now it's a lot moreprogrammatic, like hey, this is
drop-off time, pickup time,instead of like me and all my
students in the van going toIn-N-Out and the beach today.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
It's like breaking things in the van.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
Yeah, they broke every cup holder in the entire
world.
So I guess maybe it was a goodthing that they're not there.
But you know, like you can't dothose organic relationship
things anymore, everything's alot more programmed and formal.
You know you have to haveformal logistical processes for
every single thing.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
It feels much more like a family when you're little
.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
It does.
And so you know, I just saythat to encourage the youth
pastor.
That's like, oh, I wish we weregrowing.
Yeah, growth is great, it is,but it's also a very sweet time
when you're small.
So, lastly, number five.
So make sure.
So this is going back to like,let's think program right now,
(27:18):
how to make your program feelbigger with less people.
Make sure there's things, notonly things to do, like before
your program or after yourprogram, Things to do and
leaders at those things.
So, going kind of back toharnessing the power of your
leaders, your volunteersstrategically place them around.
(27:40):
What I mean is like there hasto be something that feels like
the happenings, like something'shappening instead of just like
here are four people on a couch,hello welcome, please sit next
to us and try to start aconversation.
But when things are happening,it the energy feels eventful and
(28:01):
bigger.
And the way we used to do thisis we would have bryant remember
he would be outside playinglike butts up with the kids.
So that was like a fun outdoorthing that you could go and join
, and then I would usually beinside dominating on mario kart.
Like, literally like winningembarrassingly winning literally
(28:22):
every single round.
So much so that I told samcomiford I said, if you can beat
me, uh, you can win this tvthat we're playing on he's like
13 inch, no color tv, tube tvcould be yours and he's like,
seriously, I'm like, yeah, ifyou beat me, you get the tv and
(28:43):
that next wednesday I was in thesenior pastor's office
explaining why we didn't have atv anymore uh, no, I didn didn't
lose.
I never lost, okay, moving on,never lose.
And then someone would beoutside playing basketball we
have this like freestanding,very dangerous basketball hoop
because the kids would try todunk on it.
And then we would have like aroamer kind of catching new kids
(29:05):
, like someone just kind ofhanging out looking for new
families, maybe another leaderplaying four square.
So just strategically use yourleaders during program time to
get away from that, like forpeople having an awkward
conversation on the couch beforeit begins, like what would a
large group be doing?
They would all be spread out,they would all be doing
(29:27):
something different, and it justgives options and again takes
relational weight off of people.
And it just gives options andagain takes relational weight
off of people.
And that's what we're trying todo.
Is that like it's not just yougo from zero to 60 relationally.
It's like I show up and I haveto immediately be in
conversation with someone.
And the reason for that ifyou're just a Bible study or a
(29:49):
small group, that makes a lot ofsense.
But a youth group's purpose,part of it is outreach and there
should be an easy way for newpeople to come in, for people to
invite their friends withouthaving to be relationally
intimate, right then.
But if all we're doing issitting on a couch waiting for a
youth group to start, that'slike zero to 60 on relational
(30:11):
intimacy right away instead ofwaiting.
Okay, we played a game, therewas some casual time, the snack
shack was open, there was music,I had options of how to roam
and what to do instead of it'sall focused in one area and
there's nowhere else to go.
Like that is so high pressureand that's what makes a small
youth group feel super small and, again, not bad numbers.
(30:34):
Wise to be small, but sometimessmall groups carry with it just
a different energy that isoff-putting to someone who's new
, or inviting someone or wantingto do something else besides.
Just sit there, so, I think,gathering your team and kind of
explaining this vision and say,hey, here's the atmosphere we're
(30:56):
trying to create, like can youstart a game of wall ball or
butts up or you know horse oryou know all kinds of stuff,
ultimate Frisbee, and let's justhave like happenings going on
while students are coming andthen at the end, while they're
getting picked up or however youdo it.
So yeah, that's all of it.
Do you have any questions, jeff?
Speaker 2 (31:16):
No, I know you have a huge heart for small youth
ministries, cause you at onepoint were one.
I have a huge heart for smallministry Cause that's when I
started volunteering.
It was small and I know it canbe frustrating.
I know that as a youth pastor,you can probably be sitting and
thinking what am I doing?
Is this even worth it?
Especially when you do havethat, like well across town,
there's a youth group going ontomorrow night.
(31:36):
That has you know a thousandkids or whatever, but I think
really remember that you knowGod has put certain students in
your ministry and he has themthere for a reason and you need
to just build thoserelationships with them and
they're probably there becausethey like that small atmosphere.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
And there's something to be said for that.
Not every church should be amega church.
No, that would be horrible.
That would be horrible Becauseyou'd have so many people being
like I'm not dealing with that,I'm not dealing with the parking
.
I'm not dealing with sittingnext to somebody I don't know
every single week.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
Right.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
So there's that intimacy in a smaller youth
group, that family vibe.
That's good.
And when those people getcomfortable and enjoy the youth
group, they may enjoy it beingsmall, but they will probably
invite people they know, sure,and then your youth group will
eventually grow in a healthy way, and so healthy growth, you're
right.
That's, and that's what's mostimportant.
(32:26):
If your youth group is healthy,then you're doing it right.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
Yeah, and I always the growth will come.
Think what is my job right.
Yeah, and I always the growthwill come.
Think what is my job.
Faithfulness, not the bibledoesn't say grow a huge youth
group like that's not thecommand, it's faithfulness.
And I always go back to what hetold peter if you love me, feed
my sheep.
So the faithfulness of feedingthe sheep, however many sheep
(32:50):
there are.
He doesn't say he just offeeding the sheep however many
sheep there are.
He doesn't say he just saysfeed the sheep.
Feed my sheep, take care of mypeople.
That's what a pastor does.
Is they simply shepherd andtake care of the flock.
So if you're doing thatfaithfully, then you're doing it
.
So, be be OK with it.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
Yeah, all right, let's do a community comment of
the day and then after that weare going to announce our first
two winners for our 250thepisode giveaway.
Our 250th episode was twoepisodes ago the one we did the
whole youth group tour, so makesure you check that out.
But last week we announced thatwe're doing a 250th episode
giveaway, so the two firstwinners are going to be tonight.
(33:30):
Stick around for just twominutes here, all right.
This comes from Shane Coker,who says there's so much around
student ministry that feels soheavy and complicated, but each
of your videos breaks it downwhere I feel so encouraged and
hopeful.
I love how you can fill anepisode with so many fun ideas
and still bring everything backto the gospel.
That's all on you.
You're good at that.
(33:51):
Thank you, shane.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
That was a great comment.
We appreciate that.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
Kristen does an excellent job at doing that.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
Oh, thanks, Chef.
Oh, you're welcome.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
Another sweet comment from Jeff Las Cola.
Speaker 1 (34:02):
I'm glad he feels like it is broken up and doable.
Yeah, you know like, instead ofjust like one big untangled
mess, like a tangled up mess tofigure out A whole mess of
student ministry.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
No one's gonna get that reference, it was office I
was gonna tell them to guessguess put in the comment section
below what you thought itwas, hey, tell you what for our
250th episode giveaway.
We are giving additionalentries if you do comments and
you'll have to go back and lastweek's episode has all the
instructions, we'll link itbelow.
But, like I was saying, you getextra entries, and today you
(34:38):
can get some extra entries byputting in the comment section
what was your favorite episodethat this podcast has ever done?
Put in the comment sectionbelow and you'll get five extra
entries.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
So probably gonna be hard to pick just one, well,
maybe you can put this one,since you're listening to, it,
all right easy.
Speaker 2 (34:55):
Our two winners and you guys are winning the epic
water filter water bottles wowtwo winners are number one drum
roll.
Please, adam swar, and excuseme if I pronounced your name
wrong.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
Adam.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
And the other winner is Mike Torres.
Mike and Adam.
We win a water bottle.
Mike and Adam.
Different water bottles too.
You don't have to share, no.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
You're going to ship it back and forth Share
ownership.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
And postage is on you guys.
You got to figure out howyou're going to get it back, not
our problem.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
You guys each get one .
It's in the fine print and wethank Epic Water.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
Filters for donating those.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
Thank you, Epic Water Bottles we appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
We thank you guys for watching and listening, and if
you do want to get into thegiveaway, you do have to email
us at ministrycoachpodcast at gemailcom and just put free to 50
.
That way we know you're in thegiveaway and we're going to be
doing that over the next fewweeks, so you haven't lost your
only chance to win.
Speaker 1 (35:59):
All right.
Speaker 2 (35:59):
Thank you guys for watching and listening.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
And we'll see you next time.
Today we are talking about fiveways to make your small Ruth
group, five ways to make yoursmall church youth ministry feel
much, much bigger.
Are you looking for?
Are you looking for ways tomake your small youth group feel
bigger than it really is?
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