April 10, 2025 • 36 mins
Are you ready to grow the size and health of your youth ministry? Check out
GrowYourYouthMinistry.com *** As a youth pastor, do you ever feel like you are becoming just a program director? This question haunted me early in youth ministry, especially as our youth group grew. What I discovered transformed our approach—program isn't the goal, but rather the vehicle that creates community, which in turn facilitates genuine discipleship and Christ-centered transformation.
In this episode, we unpack five practical strategies that have revolutionized our ministry's impact. Youth ministry should never be measured by attendance numbers or entertainment value. Success is creating communities where students find belonging and discipleship that sustains their faith journey long after graduation.
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📕 Book Mentioned in this Episode 📕
"Sticky Church" by Larry Osborne
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We love hearing from you all and we do our best to provide powerful and insightful youth ministry content on a weekly basis to be that coach and mentor you may not have, but desperately need.
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You may also enjoy these episodes:
(#064) What's the BIG Deal With Small Groups in Youth Ministry?
(#036) How to Get New Students Connected to Your Youth Group
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
One of my greatest fears in youth ministry was
always if we get big, I'm justgoing to be some program
director, and I never wanted tobe that.
The program is not the end.
It's a means to an end.
But what is that programactually accomplishing?
What is the why behind it?
What is the payout of all thiswork and all these Tuesday or
(00:23):
Wednesday nights?
Today we're talking about fiveways that you can make your
youth group more than just aprogram.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Welcome to the Ministry Coach Podcast, where we
give you weekly tips andtactics to help you fast-track
the growth and health of youryouth ministry.
If this is the first time weare meeting, my name is Jeff
Laskola and this is.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Kristen Laskola, and today we're going to talk about
how to make your youth ministrymore than just a program,
because program is not the goal.
Not the goal.
And sometimes we can get sowrapped up in making sure the
program is going well and allthe elements are there and
everything's great, but what wefail to remember sometimes
(01:14):
myself included is that theprogram is not the end.
It's a means to an end, and sothe end is much more the
community we're trying to createand actually the community
isn't even the end, but ratherthat's a vehicle for true
(01:35):
gospel-centered change in aperson's life over the long term
.
And that is the true end of whywe do youth groups so that we
can build communities wherestudents are plugged in and
getting ongoing discipleship andbelonging to help them in each
step of their relationship withJesus, so that they remain
(01:59):
connected to the church as theygrow in their understanding of
who he is and how to walk withJesus.
And youth group is a greatvehicle for it.
But the program itself is notthe goal, and sometimes youth
pastors get very proud of theprogram they've designed, and I
understand that because we wantevery and we talk a lot about
(02:21):
that on this podcast how to makeyour youth group a great place
to be.
But today we're going to talkabout how that in and of itself
is not the goal.
Just to have a cool program,the end it's like.
But what is that programactually accomplishing?
What is the why behind it?
What is the payout of all thiswork and all these Tuesday or
(02:45):
Wednesday nights?
I did the math the other dayand, based on how long I've been
in youth ministry, I've doneover a thousand midweek programs
, and that's not even countingweekend services.
That would be well into theprobably two or three thousands.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
I think back for a second in your 18 year old self
of someone was like okay, only999 more days to go.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
But you couldn't even say that because I'm still
going.
So I mean, like, do I doanother thousand?
Yes, I guess I will.
So that's a lot of programs.
So do we just do program forprogram?
No, but we're.
What is?
What is this paying out?
What is the point here?
And so I want to refocus ourbrains a little bit to remember
(03:34):
that the program is not the goal.
The program leads the community, which is still not the goal.
The community should lead toChrist-centered life change over
the long term, keeping kidsconnected to Jesus.
So that is like the behind thecurtain model of what youth
ministry, the direction itshould be going, and knowing
(03:57):
like where you're going mighthelp you create these elements
in your program.
Knowing what should we put in,what should we not, what should
we focus on, what's worthspending time on?
If that is the ultimate goal,not just to have a killer
program that just entertainspeople, uh, and then they leave
or, you know, grow up and thenthat's that and they remember.
(04:18):
Oh yeah, I used to have a coolyouth pastor, like some um girl
DM to me on Instagram.
It wasn't about youth ministry.
She goes, whoa.
I used to have a really coolyouth pastor when I was in
junior high too, you know, and Idon't know if she's still a
Christian or not, but everyoneremembers like, oh yeah, I loved
my youth pastor, that was socool.
Anyways, now back to my adultlife.
(04:40):
You know, like did we keep themin community?
Speaker 2 (04:43):
for the long haul.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
So how do we ensure that our program, while it may
be awesome, is not the ultimatething we're focused on
accomplishing?
What is the bigger picture?
So how do we create thiscommunity?
Well, number one, thefriendship and the relationships
of your leaders, I think, isthe foundation for this
(05:06):
community that we're talkingabout.
It is so contagious when theleaders have a chemistry within
themselves.
So, so often youth pastors aretrying to create community with
the students and you knowcamaraderie and friendships and
connections and relationships.
But the foundation and theexample and the basis for that
(05:32):
usually is the leadership team,and that energy then trickles
down to the students.
One of my greatest fears inyouth ministry was always if we
get big, I'm just going to besome program director, and I
never wanted to be that.
And then when we grew from ourlittle tiny, tight-knit youth
(05:52):
group to every milestone we hit,I felt my role changing.
I'm like am I just a programdirector?
I'm just a program director,I'm program director.
But then I had to realize thereare opportunities for ministry
everywhere.
So while my job became moreprogram heavy because you know
I'm in charge of steering thisbig boat, you know I have
(06:14):
opportunities for ministry and Iremember thinking, oh my gosh,
my leaders.
Like that is where all thischemistry and this fuel for
relationships is going to comefrom.
So the and parents, you know,and obviously students.
But like, when you look at yourleadership team, a, do you have
one, you shouldn't be doingministry alone but two, what is?
Speaker 2 (06:38):
the A and then two and D.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Is that what you're here for for?
Is that your job?
Speaker 2 (06:46):
to just point out stuff yes, and my job is done
hopefully stay tuned, becausethere could be more faux pas
jeffrey number two, number b butyou know what is the chemistry
between your leaders.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
I was so excited when I realized my leaders enjoy the
company of each other outsideof youth group and we've talked
about this a lot.
But students unfortunately growup and leave your youth
ministry and I remember the daythat hit me.
I was on the couch after churchcrying because my eighth
graders were gone.
(07:24):
I'm like I'm never going tolove a class, ever again, never,
and this is it for me.
Well, one of the people in thatclass is now a youth pastor of
a ministry at our church.
You know, like the fruit keptgoing.
And so just today, um, they sentout a Discord message.
Some of my leaders hey, let'sgo to lunch after church.
(07:47):
Where are we going to go?
Who wants to join?
Blah, blah, blah.
Hey, we're playing Frisbee golf.
You know they send out stufflike this all the time, like at
four o'clock on Sunday.
If anyone could join, be there.
Hey, we just did a volleyballnight.
We're doing volleyball.
Meet us here.
You know, we're doingvolleyball, meet us here, you
know, and they love beingtogether and there's this
(08:08):
friendship.
And so when the students see usfriending, then they are like
wow, this is a place that isfriendly, not sterile, and if
you're lacking that type ofchemistry and it's, and it's
interesting because it's notlike, well, yeah, maybe you guys
are all the same age and genderand station in life, not even
close.
You know, I just saw one ofthem at the beach today.
(08:30):
He's out surfing.
And then we have a mom of fourand we have a you know like for
the longest time we had like aretired guy, and so it's just
like, yeah, we have our 18 yearolds and we have everything in
between.
So it's not like, oh, we justnaturally would fit together.
No, the ministry does pull ustogether.
(08:54):
We just really have fosteredthis time and this attention on
hey, if we're going to doministry, that's authentic and
push students or not pushstudents into relationships?
That sounds aggressive force.
You get in a friendship andyou're going to like it.
But if we're trying to helpstudents create community and
(09:16):
we're not even in communityourselves, you know there is a
disjointed vibe there, you know.
So we I, I love that.
My leaders love to hang outwith each other and another
benefit of that is longevity.
You know they will stay aftertheir students leave because
they realize well, yeah,students grow up and have to
(09:37):
leave.
It's a bummer, but we stillhave each other and that's like
huge.
So would they hang out witheach other outside of group or
not?
And can we change that again?
What's the goal?
Community.
So it starts with the leaders.
Are they in community numbertwo or number C?
Speaker 2 (09:58):
whatever we're on, jeff, um no, this is really
number two of the big headings.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
So are there opportunities for students to
work together and serve together?
There is no greater catalyst forauthentic community than
students that are workingalongside or serving alongside
each other, having a purpose atchurch.
So can students be on a servingteam together, whether that's
worship, whether that's setup,whether that's tech, whether
(10:27):
that's a video photo team,whatever that might be but
students need to be workingtogether to create the community
that we're longing for, andthere's a beautiful like
secondary purpose in there isthat they are finding their
purpose, you know, and they'refinding it alongside their peers
.
So be very careful to not bethe kind of ministry that all
(10:51):
the adults are the ones who dothe ministries and we turn
students into consumers byaccident.
It's not very life-giving orvery dynamic at all.
So we've talked a lot aboutstudent leadership teams and how
we put them in these jobs, buttonight we're talking about kind
of a step further of are theyworking together?
(11:12):
So that is where this part ofthe community is coming from.
Is I'm partnering with anotherpeer to accomplish a goal?
So, like our girls did an airband together?
Speaker 2 (11:20):
for this.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Um.
So like our girls did an airband together for this starving
to serve event, we did and justwatching them have to coordinate
and choreograph and dance andpractice and then perform it on
stage and find their costumesand do this thing.
It was this bonding experienceand such a confidence and
(11:41):
community builder for them.
They got second place Very good.
We filmed a video with ourstudent leadership team on
Friday.
It was wild, totally unhinged,but we got it done.
I don't know how it's going toturn out, but it was them
working together for thesedifferent scenes and acting.
It was like a rules video wewere showing like all right,
(12:02):
here's the rules of our youthgroup.
And I'll be like, okay, youcan't arrive before this time.
So they'd all be at the doorlike banging on the door, like
let us in.
And it was so fun for them toget to partner with each other
and that again creates community.
So not only have we handedministry off to them, we've
allowed.
It's not just like the mentor,mentee relationship, it's a peer
(12:26):
relationship that we'rebuilding into that and it was so
exciting and it bred so muchinsane energy.
But it was very again thiscommunity builder that we really
needed.
And remember they need purposeand, like we said before, we're
pushing them to see you're acontributor here, not a consumer
(12:46):
.
Ministry is not an adult job,it's a Christian job, Like so we
start them young on serving, sothat they understand like
you're the church.
Now Right, and I'm not justgoing to say that, I'm going to
show you that, give youopportunities for that, mentor
you through that, build in somesafeguards and boundaries so
(13:08):
that you don't you're not juston your own, but putting real,
tangible projects in their handsand letting them work with
their peers on that them to thechurch, that stickiness, knowing
that their contributions matter, not just like you're saying,
not just being a consumer, butserving within the church walls.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
And then, as they grow up and go older, all of a
sudden youth ministry is nolonger where they're at.
They continue to serve,hopefully, but I feel like
that's the ultimate goal is itbuilds that stickiness in them
so they stay with the churchafter youth ministry.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
That's not where church ends for them.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
It's just the next step.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
Yeah, and so let's build in those things early on
of this is what it means to be amember of the church, not a
member of the youth group.
Right, and I'm a big proponentof youth group.
Like, I don't think studentsshould be like every weekend in
the adult sermon and know likeand I know there's people who
feel it way obviously I'm ayouth pastor, so I have bias
(14:10):
toward that viewpoint for a lotof reasons.
At the same time, I think we doneed to.
I see the value and what theother side is talking about is
teaching them to be a part ofthe church, not a part of youth
group, and I think those twothings, like you're saying, can
exist together.
I think they need to besimultaneously happening.
(14:32):
So it's like you're doing ageappropriate things that are your
skill level with peers andyou're a part of the church or
you're serving in anotherministry.
A lot of our junior highstudents serve in the children's
ministry like two weeks on twoweeks off.
We have three weekend services,so it gives them the opportunity
to still go to church.
Our daughter serves in thethree-year-olds on Saturday
(14:55):
night.
She comes to church.
Second service Sunday morning.
She didn't miss a thing, youknow.
So it can exist simultaneouslyand really important.
And then probably the numberthree, the biggest vehicle
toward building a community thatwe're trying to build not just
a program, but a community thatgets people in a place where
(15:19):
they can be discipled in theirrelationship with Jesus would be
small groups.
Like, I don't think we can talkabout this without talking
about small groups.
If you don't have a small groupministry, push, pause, go do it
and come back when you have youcome back when you have
launched a small group ministryand not a second before.
Okay.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Or else I'm coming for you, just kidding.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
But it is that important.
I think it's so hard to buildcommunity without a small group
ministry.
So small group like.
We just had our small groupnight out last Tuesday.
I don't like.
If you've listened to us for along time, you know I'm a big
fan of consistency in your youthgroup, don't?
We're meeting at this house,that house, this beach, that
(16:06):
park, meet at the same place,the same time every single week.
However, once a year, and onlyonce, I don't think I could take
any more.
It's a lot logistically becausewe have so many small groups.
But small group night out,where every small group plans
their own fun community nightjust for their group.
(16:27):
So some groups went down to thebeach and got ice cream and did
a bonfire.
We had every single sixth gradegirl over at our house.
It was a hoot.
One group went to a trampolinepark, one group went to another
boy's house and did a pool partyand I try to visit as many of
them as I can because I am not asmall group leader so I can pop
around and see everybody andthe community that was built and
(16:49):
the people that come out of thewoodwork.
On that, because part of me islike, oh shoot, what if we get a
visitor?
They show up at the church andthey're like what's going on?
That did happen.
We had a lot of kids actually.
That did not get the memo,despite our best efforts to
communicate.
I communicated like ad nauseumabout this thing.
Still, people slipped throughthe cracks.
(17:11):
Luckily I had a security guardthere and he was telling people
where to go.
And there was a small groupthere telling people where to go
.
So anyways, it was.
That did cost me and I did feellike shoot.
But some of the groups Ivisited I'm like whoa, I have
not seen you in months.
But they heard about smallgroup night out and they wanted
(17:31):
to go and they want to be a partof it and it sounded like
something cool that they didn'twant to miss out on.
It was different than regularyouth groups, so in that sense I
feel a little bit of a catalystto get them going again.
Yeah, it was a positive.
And then what it bred withinthose small groups again,
because they are the goal iscommunity and discipleship.
Like it created a differentlike.
(17:55):
Sometimes when you get out ofyour normal rhythm and
environment and do somethingjust you, you know, it's like
this whole new dimension ofrelationship opens up or you get
to talk to people or interactwith them in a different way
that you never had before.
So small group night out wassuch a win, like I said, it's a
(18:15):
lot to pull off for us, but Iwouldn't, I wouldn't get rid of
it.
It's, it's huge.
And my friend has a daughter ina small group at a different
campus and every time I ask her,oh, where's your daughter?
Like cause she does my hair andstuff, and she's like oh, she's
us, her small group pool party.
Oh, she's with her small grouppool party.
(18:40):
Oh, she's with her small groupgirls tonight.
Oh, they're doing a small groupthing and there's so much
community just in this smallgroup.
It was like this little hub andgroup of friends that like.
So I'm a.
I love the book the blue zonesolution.
I read the whole thing by DanBuechner and one of my favorite
parts of it is.
He talks about these.
So the whole premise of thebook is that he studies
societies around the world thathave the highest percentage of
(19:01):
people to living, living to 100years old, but like a healthy
100.
And so in I think it was inOkinawa, maybe I'm not sure, but
somewhere in Japan is a bluezone, and he says that part of
the secret to longevity is thesegroups called Moai groups, and
(19:22):
parents get their kids in almostlike a small group, like for
life, when they're very young,and they stay in these
communities throughout theirentire lives, from when they're
like toddlers to where they'reseniors.
And they said they go throughall the stages of life together
(19:43):
and help each other out, likewhen one of them is sick, that's
who rallies around them.
When one of them is in financialtrouble, they come around that
person and help.
So you always have this builtin other than your family, this
built-in community and safetynet, and they attribute some of
the longevity in that communityto these Moai groups.
(20:04):
The social connection, thepeace of mind that comes from
community and knowing somebodyhas your back, now that's in a
social construct, but I thinkthat same idea in a social slash
, spiritual construct, that'swhat we're trying to accomplish
with small groups is knowing,hey, this is this group that I
get to go through and maybe theywon't be together for the rest
(20:25):
of their lives.
Right, Not like a Moai group.
But it's kind of this conceptof these people love me, love
the Lord, have my back.
They're supposed to be the onesthat hey, like I didn't make
the team, I'm upset and they'regoing to help me pick up the
pieces.
You know, we had a girl upsetthe other week because her
boyfriend broke up with her andnone of the girls played the
(20:47):
game.
They just were all like nursingher wounds with her and I'm
like come on, guys.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
No, no, no, we can't play.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
her boyfriend broke up with her and we're gonna be
here for her.
Why aren't we celebrating?
I mean, uh, never mind, yeah,congrats, oh, not congrats.
And it was just so cute likethey were just there for each
other.
I was scrolling on Instagramtoday and I saw one of my old
small group girls.
They were like doing some beachparty together, like they're
still friends and it's justwe're trying to put people in
these groups to say this is yourcommunity.
(21:23):
These are like-minded peoplethat are going to be going
through life with you, or atleast junior high with you, or
at least high school with you.
But there is something in thehuman spirit that needs a
community of people to know I'mnot alone and they've got my
back.
And for some kids like, like,that might be their friend group
(21:47):
.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
You know what I mean Because it's like well, no, I
have my friends.
Ok, well, lucky you, you have awhole friend group and a small
group.
Good for you.
Maybe those two overlapsomewhere as well.
But there's some kids thatthat's exactly what they're
looking for, like they justdesperately and I meet those
kids all the time.
They have no community, theyhave no friends.
(22:08):
Maybe they just moved here,maybe it's a military family
that moves around a lot, ormaybe they just switched schools
, or maybe they just switchedschools, or maybe they lost
their friend group for aparticular reason, who knows?
But there's a lot of lonelykids out there and I know if
you're listening to this podcastand you work with students, you
know that that is not asurprise to you.
We've got some lonely kids.
(22:29):
Loneliness is such an epidemicand so if you're not doing small
groups, then basically you'rerolling the dice and saying go
make friends, kid, you know theymight.
Adults need more help than thatLike that's why we have adult
small groups, adult life groups,whatever your church calls them
is because that's a lot to justsay, well, go find Christian
community of people who arelike-minded and want to serve
(22:52):
the Lord and love you and seeyou through life.
Good luck, yeah, Okay, you know, maybe for some lucky people,
but that's not the reality foreveryone.
So we design it that way to togive them community, to give
them the best chance of a, likeyou said, I love that word,
(23:12):
sticky faith, by the way, if youhaven't read the book Sticky
Church by Larry Osborne pick itup, it's a good one.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
To add one more thing to that I'm thinking back at.
You know, I've been at ourchurch for I don't know how many
years over well, over a decade.
But I bet you I could probablyconnect almost every single
person I know at our church,either through a life group or
serving with them, one of thetwo.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
And it just it goes to show like, especially if
you're, especially if you're ata larger church, but all like,
all you said was true for asmall church or a large church.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
But if you're a large church to wait.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
The best way to make a big church feel smaller is to
serve or to be involved in alife group small group, and if
you're not doing either of thosetwo things, how in the world do
you make connections?
Because there's the greet yourneighbor, which is great.
I really try my best toremember names and I feel like
so often I'm like, oh, I alreadyforgot it, but it's when you're
(24:10):
serving with those people, orin a small group with them, a
life group.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
That's the connectivity, yeah you're right,
as you're talking, I'm thinkingabout like the very first life
group I ever joined, you know,as an adult, totally, and I
think the reason I'm in ministryis because I was in a life
group and I got more involved.
Like you know, there's just somany things that doors it opens
for students, you know, in theirfaith journey.
So all right, oh, and smallgroups too.
(24:38):
Another thing I was going tomention is I love it when the
leaders become a part of likereal life.
You know, like they get invitedto the graduation parties, they
get invited to the birthdayparties, they go to the
performances, they're like therewith the kids.
And I love that when I get aninvitation to like a senior's
(25:01):
graduation I had you four yearsago and you invite me to your
graduation party, Like that'samazing, Like I love that.
Or you know, a birthday partyor a wedding a wedding.
Yes, I mean that kind of stuff,that is, those are like should
be green lights of like ding,ding, ding.
(25:21):
We're doing community.
Well, like, if you're gettinginvited to those kinds of things
, um, okay, number four campsand events hands down one of the
greatest ways to buildcommunity, because now we're
doing real life with them.
We're outside of youth group,we're eating, sleeping,
breathing, playing, frolicking,worshiping all the things with
(25:46):
them around the clock, 24 hoursa day, and there is just
something about it.
I always say one week of campis worth six months of youth
ministry.
In terms of connectedness.
We started promoting our summercamp today at church.
Sign-ups go live in two weeks,so we're showing all these
teaser videos and the kids arelike beyond excited.
(26:08):
They're like taking pictures ofthe slides and the
announcements, sending it totheir parents, like I don't want
my mom to forget, she's got tosign me up.
And it's like still like twoweeks away, because it's like
this time of just togethernessand bonding and closeness and
community and you could get afringe kid who, like doesn't
(26:28):
know anyone, is kind of justlike looking around, maybe knows
like a couple people, and thenyou put them on a camp and a
retreat and by the end of theweek you're your best friends,
you know, and they're totallybought in and they're ready to
go and ready to be a part ofthis community.
Their camp like.
I don't believe in magic okay,weirdos, but it's magical yeah,
(26:50):
you weirdos I just can't see soimmediately, like magic is not
real.
I know that, okay, but there'ssomething about camp and maybe
it's like just this.
I don't know what it is, but itis.
Is this magical experience?
It's like this holy spiritexperience like there is.
I cannot think of supernatural,supernatural yeah.
(27:15):
I was going to sing a song andthen I aborted that bitch thank
you there was a song by DC Toddon behalf of all the weirdos.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Thank you.
Now who's the weirdo?
Speaker 1 (27:26):
okay, I see what I did there humbled hashtag that
works you know what I?
meant, yeah, it's like thesupernatural experience and I
can't think of any othercircumstance where I feel that
way.
You know, like I have very deeptimes at youth group or church
(27:46):
or whatever, but it's a specificbrand that can't brings that.
I'm like can't replace that.
Like walls are coming down allover the place, like people are
having breakthroughs, people arelike opening up and becoming
their authentic selves.
I almost feel like even for me,it's like you're unplugged from
(28:09):
the daily rhythm and thescreens and the emails and
you're just like in a beautifulplace worshiping, playing, like
just being probably who we weremeant to be is like let's just
worship god and enjoy hiscreation.
I think that's what adam andeve's role was, you know, and
yeah, like taking care of theland and stuff like that.
(28:30):
But I mean you're living yourbest life for this week and it
just is transformative for on somany levels.
But tonight we're talkingspecifically about community and
like what that does for a group.
So if you don't do camps orretreats, we do just two a year.
(28:51):
We do a eight day summer campin July and then we do a weekend
winter camp in like Februaryand those are our catalysts for
relationships for the year.
You know that eight days I mean.
If you miss out, you miss a lot.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
You know one of the girls today, when we were
announcing it, she's like, oh mygosh, it's, it's coming up
again.
I feel like we just went Likeit just really like sticks with
you.
And then, lastly, to buildcommunity be a part of the
community.
Be present so kind of what wewere talking about with the
small group leader thing, youknow.
Be present in the community, Goto the graduation ceremonies.
(29:32):
One little hack you can havethis one for free.
I don't know if I've evertalked about this before.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
We're charging you for those, so this one for free.
I don't know if I've evertalked about this before
charging you for, though, somake sure you send that venmo
payment.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
All of this is free.
Y'all welcome.
So, either on the first day ofschool or the last day of school
for one of your major highschools or junior highs like
this we got these signs and wejust hand painted them and it
said happy first day of school,love, chaos.
and we stood out on the corneras all the kids were coming to
(30:06):
school, like the sign twirlers,and we had the signs and parents
were honking and people werewaving and taking pictures like
they felt so loved and it waslike so easy.
I just had to get up a littleearly Right Now that we have
kids that go to school.
It's a little harder becausewe're taking them to school.
But, and then, since the lastday of school is coming up first
(30:29):
, because this recording is inApril you could do something
like you did it, happy last day,love the name of your youth
group and have a couple ofleaders out there just to
congratulate them on their lastday of school.
So that's an easy way to be apart of the community.
You didn't have to buy a ticketto a ballet performance, you're
just we're standing on thecorner saying you did it or
(30:52):
happy first day of school, oryou know something cute like
that.
But yes, going to thegraduation ceremonies we try to
go to the eighth gradegraduation.
Since we are a middle school,we love to take a lot of
pictures with the kids you knowsporting events in your
community.
Just showing up, showing yourface being a member of the
(31:14):
community, is a really big deal.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
It means a lot to them.
It does, and their families.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
Yes, and we've talked about that before, but again,
that's another catalyst, for thecommunity we're trying to build
is to show people we're doinglife together.
This is the whole point of thisthing is to walk together, not
that the church is a separateentity and that, like you know,
but that we blend with theireveryday lives.
(31:42):
You know, we were a figure intheir, in their lives, and we're
showing, we're showing up,we're showing that this is
community like not just withinthe walls of the church, but
this is community like that youcan count on for, like this is
your, your life.
We exist outside of the walls ofthe church in the one day or
(32:04):
two days a week too yeah, I mean, because then you're really
showing that you meant it's notjust like, yes, we're in
community as long as you come tomy church from seven to nine
every tuesday night, it's likeand that's the only place it
exists.
Maybe that's the catalyst, butthat can't be where it ends like
.
Are we actually doing lifetogether?
Are we actually in community?
Is this going to be a long-termtransformative place for your
(32:27):
relationship with Jesus?
Well then, I've got to showthat I exist and community
exists outside of that.
45 minutes of your small groupon a Tuesday night, so yeah,
think of that, with that goal,as you plan your program of?
am I pointing my students not toa program but to a community,
(32:48):
and is that community leadingthem to authentic life change
and longevity for discipleshipand to strengthen their
relationship with Jesus?
That is why we do what we do.
So maybe start with the end inmind and work backwards from
there.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
Yes, exactly, we did an episode.
We've done several episodes onsmall groups and the importance
of them, Just to go deeper onwhat we talked about today.
You can check those out andalso we have.
If you have new students, howto get them connected to your
youth group.
Make sure you check out thatepisode.
We'll link it in thedescription below.
All right, this is a communitycomment of the day.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
I love this one.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
This comes from Lydia Long, who says as a student
pastor with two dachshunds, shesaid I've never felt so seen.
You are seen and known beforeyou are known and we are best
(33:46):
friends.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
She is, we're gonna be.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
She is referencing we had mentioned, I think,
dachshunds in an episode, sothat was her comment.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
I don't know if our listeners have picked up on this
yet.
Okay, of course, I course.
I love God the most, then myfamily, all the yes, stuff
you're supposed to love.
I the thing I love most in lifeis dachshunds.
Speaker 2 (34:08):
Yeah, every now and then we get a from back here.
If you're watching on YouTube,there'll be a little face pokes
through the window, a littleangel face.
Speaker 1 (34:15):
But nowadays.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
To get her to stay where she needs to be while
we're recording, we give her abone that's probably about the
same length as she is.
I can hear her in the otherroom still chewing away.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
I hear her chomping away Lydia Long.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
Yes, email us a picture of your dachshund so we
can see Get a long little doggy.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
Yes, we want a picture.
Yes.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
And you can be in it too.
Come on, and a video and a lockof his hair.
Both of them and um kristin inparticular, wants to know what
um the ears smell like.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
It's a weird thing she has yeah, just wipe it on a
paper towel, put it in a bag.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
You have lost every single person listening, except
for like the three or four thatmay have toxins thank, thank you
, lydia.
We appreciate it.
We appreciate you guys watchingand listening and we'll see you
next time.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
Today, we're talking about five ways that you can
make your youth group Youthgroup.
Today, we're talking about fiveways that you can make your
youth group more of a.
What is it?
Speaker 2 (35:15):
And I'm going, and I'm going, and I'm stopped Psych
.
One of my greatest fears in youth ministry was
always if we get big, I'm justgoing to be some program
director, and I never wanted tobe that.
The program is not the end.
It's a means to an end.
But what is that programactually accomplishing?
What is the why behind it?
What is the payout of all thiswork and all these Tuesday or
(00:23):
Wednesday nights?
Today we're talking about fiveways that you can make your
youth group more than just aprogram.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Welcome to the Ministry Coach Podcast, where we
give you weekly tips andtactics to help you fast-track
the growth and health of youryouth ministry.
If this is the first time weare meeting, my name is Jeff
Laskola and this is.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Kristen Laskola, and today we're going to talk about
how to make your youth ministrymore than just a program,
because program is not the goal.
Not the goal.
And sometimes we can get sowrapped up in making sure the
program is going well and allthe elements are there and
everything's great, but what wefail to remember sometimes
(01:14):
myself included is that theprogram is not the end.
It's a means to an end, and sothe end is much more the
community we're trying to createand actually the community
isn't even the end, but ratherthat's a vehicle for true
(01:35):
gospel-centered change in aperson's life over the long term
.
And that is the true end of whywe do youth groups so that we
can build communities wherestudents are plugged in and
getting ongoing discipleship andbelonging to help them in each
step of their relationship withJesus, so that they remain
(01:59):
connected to the church as theygrow in their understanding of
who he is and how to walk withJesus.
And youth group is a greatvehicle for it.
But the program itself is notthe goal, and sometimes youth
pastors get very proud of theprogram they've designed, and I
understand that because we wantevery and we talk a lot about
(02:21):
that on this podcast how to makeyour youth group a great place
to be.
But today we're going to talkabout how that in and of itself
is not the goal.
Just to have a cool program,the end it's like.
But what is that programactually accomplishing?
What is the why behind it?
What is the payout of all thiswork and all these Tuesday or
(02:45):
Wednesday nights?
I did the math the other dayand, based on how long I've been
in youth ministry, I've doneover a thousand midweek programs
, and that's not even countingweekend services.
That would be well into theprobably two or three thousands.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
I think back for a second in your 18 year old self
of someone was like okay, only999 more days to go.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
But you couldn't even say that because I'm still
going.
So I mean, like, do I doanother thousand?
Yes, I guess I will.
So that's a lot of programs.
So do we just do program forprogram?
No, but we're.
What is?
What is this paying out?
What is the point here?
And so I want to refocus ourbrains a little bit to remember
(03:34):
that the program is not the goal.
The program leads the community, which is still not the goal.
The community should lead toChrist-centered life change over
the long term, keeping kidsconnected to Jesus.
So that is like the behind thecurtain model of what youth
ministry, the direction itshould be going, and knowing
(03:57):
like where you're going mighthelp you create these elements
in your program.
Knowing what should we put in,what should we not, what should
we focus on, what's worthspending time on?
If that is the ultimate goal,not just to have a killer
program that just entertainspeople, uh, and then they leave
or, you know, grow up and thenthat's that and they remember.
(04:18):
Oh yeah, I used to have a coolyouth pastor, like some um girl
DM to me on Instagram.
It wasn't about youth ministry.
She goes, whoa.
I used to have a really coolyouth pastor when I was in
junior high too, you know, and Idon't know if she's still a
Christian or not, but everyoneremembers like, oh yeah, I loved
my youth pastor, that was socool.
Anyways, now back to my adultlife.
(04:40):
You know, like did we keep themin community?
Speaker 2 (04:43):
for the long haul.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
So how do we ensure that our program, while it may
be awesome, is not the ultimatething we're focused on
accomplishing?
What is the bigger picture?
So how do we create thiscommunity?
Well, number one, thefriendship and the relationships
of your leaders, I think, isthe foundation for this
(05:06):
community that we're talkingabout.
It is so contagious when theleaders have a chemistry within
themselves.
So, so often youth pastors aretrying to create community with
the students and you knowcamaraderie and friendships and
connections and relationships.
But the foundation and theexample and the basis for that
(05:32):
usually is the leadership team,and that energy then trickles
down to the students.
One of my greatest fears inyouth ministry was always if we
get big, I'm just going to besome program director, and I
never wanted to be that.
And then when we grew from ourlittle tiny, tight-knit youth
(05:52):
group to every milestone we hit,I felt my role changing.
I'm like am I just a programdirector?
I'm just a program director,I'm program director.
But then I had to realize thereare opportunities for ministry
everywhere.
So while my job became moreprogram heavy because you know
I'm in charge of steering thisbig boat, you know I have
(06:14):
opportunities for ministry and Iremember thinking, oh my gosh,
my leaders.
Like that is where all thischemistry and this fuel for
relationships is going to comefrom.
So the and parents, you know,and obviously students.
But like, when you look at yourleadership team, a, do you have
one, you shouldn't be doingministry alone but two, what is?
Speaker 2 (06:38):
the A and then two and D.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Is that what you're here for for?
Is that your job?
Speaker 2 (06:46):
to just point out stuff yes, and my job is done
hopefully stay tuned, becausethere could be more faux pas
jeffrey number two, number b butyou know what is the chemistry
between your leaders.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
I was so excited when I realized my leaders enjoy the
company of each other outsideof youth group and we've talked
about this a lot.
But students unfortunately growup and leave your youth
ministry and I remember the daythat hit me.
I was on the couch after churchcrying because my eighth
graders were gone.
(07:24):
I'm like I'm never going tolove a class, ever again, never,
and this is it for me.
Well, one of the people in thatclass is now a youth pastor of
a ministry at our church.
You know, like the fruit keptgoing.
And so just today, um, they sentout a Discord message.
Some of my leaders hey, let'sgo to lunch after church.
(07:47):
Where are we going to go?
Who wants to join?
Blah, blah, blah.
Hey, we're playing Frisbee golf.
You know they send out stufflike this all the time, like at
four o'clock on Sunday.
If anyone could join, be there.
Hey, we just did a volleyballnight.
We're doing volleyball.
Meet us here.
You know, we're doingvolleyball, meet us here, you
know, and they love beingtogether and there's this
(08:08):
friendship.
And so when the students see usfriending, then they are like
wow, this is a place that isfriendly, not sterile, and if
you're lacking that type ofchemistry and it's, and it's
interesting because it's notlike, well, yeah, maybe you guys
are all the same age and genderand station in life, not even
close.
You know, I just saw one ofthem at the beach today.
(08:30):
He's out surfing.
And then we have a mom of fourand we have a you know like for
the longest time we had like aretired guy, and so it's just
like, yeah, we have our 18 yearolds and we have everything in
between.
So it's not like, oh, we justnaturally would fit together.
No, the ministry does pull ustogether.
(08:54):
We just really have fosteredthis time and this attention on
hey, if we're going to doministry, that's authentic and
push students or not pushstudents into relationships?
That sounds aggressive force.
You get in a friendship andyou're going to like it.
But if we're trying to helpstudents create community and
(09:16):
we're not even in communityourselves, you know there is a
disjointed vibe there, you know.
So we I, I love that.
My leaders love to hang outwith each other and another
benefit of that is longevity.
You know they will stay aftertheir students leave because
they realize well, yeah,students grow up and have to
(09:37):
leave.
It's a bummer, but we stillhave each other and that's like
huge.
So would they hang out witheach other outside of group or
not?
And can we change that again?
What's the goal?
Community.
So it starts with the leaders.
Are they in community numbertwo or number C?
Speaker 2 (09:58):
whatever we're on, jeff, um no, this is really
number two of the big headings.
Speaker 1 (10:04):
So are there opportunities for students to
work together and serve together?
There is no greater catalyst forauthentic community than
students that are workingalongside or serving alongside
each other, having a purpose atchurch.
So can students be on a servingteam together, whether that's
worship, whether that's setup,whether that's tech, whether
(10:27):
that's a video photo team,whatever that might be but
students need to be workingtogether to create the community
that we're longing for, andthere's a beautiful like
secondary purpose in there isthat they are finding their
purpose, you know, and they'refinding it alongside their peers
.
So be very careful to not bethe kind of ministry that all
(10:51):
the adults are the ones who dothe ministries and we turn
students into consumers byaccident.
It's not very life-giving orvery dynamic at all.
So we've talked a lot aboutstudent leadership teams and how
we put them in these jobs, buttonight we're talking about kind
of a step further of are theyworking together?
(11:12):
So that is where this part ofthe community is coming from.
Is I'm partnering with anotherpeer to accomplish a goal?
So, like our girls did an airband together?
Speaker 2 (11:20):
for this.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Um.
So like our girls did an airband together for this starving
to serve event, we did and justwatching them have to coordinate
and choreograph and dance andpractice and then perform it on
stage and find their costumesand do this thing.
It was this bonding experienceand such a confidence and
(11:41):
community builder for them.
They got second place Very good.
We filmed a video with ourstudent leadership team on
Friday.
It was wild, totally unhinged,but we got it done.
I don't know how it's going toturn out, but it was them
working together for thesedifferent scenes and acting.
It was like a rules video wewere showing like all right,
(12:02):
here's the rules of our youthgroup.
And I'll be like, okay, youcan't arrive before this time.
So they'd all be at the doorlike banging on the door, like
let us in.
And it was so fun for them toget to partner with each other
and that again creates community.
So not only have we handedministry off to them, we've
allowed.
It's not just like the mentor,mentee relationship, it's a peer
(12:26):
relationship that we'rebuilding into that and it was so
exciting and it bred so muchinsane energy.
But it was very again thiscommunity builder that we really
needed.
And remember they need purposeand, like we said before, we're
pushing them to see you're acontributor here, not a consumer
(12:46):
.
Ministry is not an adult job,it's a Christian job, Like so we
start them young on serving, sothat they understand like
you're the church.
Now Right, and I'm not justgoing to say that, I'm going to
show you that, give youopportunities for that, mentor
you through that, build in somesafeguards and boundaries so
(13:08):
that you don't you're not juston your own, but putting real,
tangible projects in their handsand letting them work with
their peers on that them to thechurch, that stickiness, knowing
that their contributions matter, not just like you're saying,
not just being a consumer, butserving within the church walls.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
And then, as they grow up and go older, all of a
sudden youth ministry is nolonger where they're at.
They continue to serve,hopefully, but I feel like
that's the ultimate goal is itbuilds that stickiness in them
so they stay with the churchafter youth ministry.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
That's not where church ends for them.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
It's just the next step.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
Yeah, and so let's build in those things early on
of this is what it means to be amember of the church, not a
member of the youth group.
Right, and I'm a big proponentof youth group.
Like, I don't think studentsshould be like every weekend in
the adult sermon and know likeand I know there's people who
feel it way obviously I'm ayouth pastor, so I have bias
(14:10):
toward that viewpoint for a lotof reasons.
At the same time, I think we doneed to.
I see the value and what theother side is talking about is
teaching them to be a part ofthe church, not a part of youth
group, and I think those twothings, like you're saying, can
exist together.
I think they need to besimultaneously happening.
(14:32):
So it's like you're doing ageappropriate things that are your
skill level with peers andyou're a part of the church or
you're serving in anotherministry.
A lot of our junior highstudents serve in the children's
ministry like two weeks on twoweeks off.
We have three weekend services,so it gives them the opportunity
to still go to church.
Our daughter serves in thethree-year-olds on Saturday
(14:55):
night.
She comes to church.
Second service Sunday morning.
She didn't miss a thing, youknow.
So it can exist simultaneouslyand really important.
And then probably the numberthree, the biggest vehicle
toward building a community thatwe're trying to build not just
a program, but a community thatgets people in a place where
(15:19):
they can be discipled in theirrelationship with Jesus would be
small groups.
Like, I don't think we can talkabout this without talking
about small groups.
If you don't have a small groupministry, push, pause, go do it
and come back when you have youcome back when you have
launched a small group ministryand not a second before.
Okay.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Or else I'm coming for you, just kidding.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
But it is that important.
I think it's so hard to buildcommunity without a small group
ministry.
So small group like.
We just had our small groupnight out last Tuesday.
I don't like.
If you've listened to us for along time, you know I'm a big
fan of consistency in your youthgroup, don't?
We're meeting at this house,that house, this beach, that
(16:06):
park, meet at the same place,the same time every single week.
However, once a year, and onlyonce, I don't think I could take
any more.
It's a lot logistically becausewe have so many small groups.
But small group night out,where every small group plans
their own fun community nightjust for their group.
(16:27):
So some groups went down to thebeach and got ice cream and did
a bonfire.
We had every single sixth gradegirl over at our house.
It was a hoot.
One group went to a trampolinepark, one group went to another
boy's house and did a pool partyand I try to visit as many of
them as I can because I am not asmall group leader so I can pop
around and see everybody andthe community that was built and
(16:49):
the people that come out of thewoodwork.
On that, because part of me islike, oh shoot, what if we get a
visitor?
They show up at the church andthey're like what's going on?
That did happen.
We had a lot of kids actually.
That did not get the memo,despite our best efforts to
communicate.
I communicated like ad nauseumabout this thing.
Still, people slipped throughthe cracks.
(17:11):
Luckily I had a security guardthere and he was telling people
where to go.
And there was a small groupthere telling people where to go
.
So anyways, it was.
That did cost me and I did feellike shoot.
But some of the groups Ivisited I'm like whoa, I have
not seen you in months.
But they heard about smallgroup night out and they wanted
(17:31):
to go and they want to be a partof it and it sounded like
something cool that they didn'twant to miss out on.
It was different than regularyouth groups, so in that sense I
feel a little bit of a catalystto get them going again.
Yeah, it was a positive.
And then what it bred withinthose small groups again,
because they are the goal iscommunity and discipleship.
Like it created a differentlike.
(17:55):
Sometimes when you get out ofyour normal rhythm and
environment and do somethingjust you, you know, it's like
this whole new dimension ofrelationship opens up or you get
to talk to people or interactwith them in a different way
that you never had before.
So small group night out wassuch a win, like I said, it's a
(18:15):
lot to pull off for us, but Iwouldn't, I wouldn't get rid of
it.
It's, it's huge.
And my friend has a daughter ina small group at a different
campus and every time I ask her,oh, where's your daughter?
Like cause she does my hair andstuff, and she's like oh, she's
us, her small group pool party.
Oh, she's with her small grouppool party.
(18:40):
Oh, she's with her small groupgirls tonight.
Oh, they're doing a small groupthing and there's so much
community just in this smallgroup.
It was like this little hub andgroup of friends that like.
So I'm a.
I love the book the blue zonesolution.
I read the whole thing by DanBuechner and one of my favorite
parts of it is.
He talks about these.
So the whole premise of thebook is that he studies
societies around the world thathave the highest percentage of
(19:01):
people to living, living to 100years old, but like a healthy
100.
And so in I think it was inOkinawa, maybe I'm not sure, but
somewhere in Japan is a bluezone, and he says that part of
the secret to longevity is thesegroups called Moai groups, and
(19:22):
parents get their kids in almostlike a small group, like for
life, when they're very young,and they stay in these
communities throughout theirentire lives, from when they're
like toddlers to where they'reseniors.
And they said they go throughall the stages of life together
(19:43):
and help each other out, likewhen one of them is sick, that's
who rallies around them.
When one of them is in financialtrouble, they come around that
person and help.
So you always have this builtin other than your family, this
built-in community and safetynet, and they attribute some of
the longevity in that communityto these Moai groups.
(20:04):
The social connection, thepeace of mind that comes from
community and knowing somebodyhas your back, now that's in a
social construct, but I thinkthat same idea in a social slash
, spiritual construct, that'swhat we're trying to accomplish
with small groups is knowing,hey, this is this group that I
get to go through and maybe theywon't be together for the rest
(20:25):
of their lives.
Right, Not like a Moai group.
But it's kind of this conceptof these people love me, love
the Lord, have my back.
They're supposed to be the onesthat hey, like I didn't make
the team, I'm upset and they'regoing to help me pick up the
pieces.
You know, we had a girl upsetthe other week because her
boyfriend broke up with her andnone of the girls played the
(20:47):
game.
They just were all like nursingher wounds with her and I'm
like come on, guys.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
No, no, no, we can't play.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
her boyfriend broke up with her and we're gonna be
here for her.
Why aren't we celebrating?
I mean, uh, never mind, yeah,congrats, oh, not congrats.
And it was just so cute likethey were just there for each
other.
I was scrolling on Instagramtoday and I saw one of my old
small group girls.
They were like doing some beachparty together, like they're
still friends and it's justwe're trying to put people in
these groups to say this is yourcommunity.
(21:23):
These are like-minded peoplethat are going to be going
through life with you, or atleast junior high with you, or
at least high school with you.
But there is something in thehuman spirit that needs a
community of people to know I'mnot alone and they've got my
back.
And for some kids like, like,that might be their friend group
(21:47):
.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
You know what I mean Because it's like well, no, I
have my friends.
Ok, well, lucky you, you have awhole friend group and a small
group.
Good for you.
Maybe those two overlapsomewhere as well.
But there's some kids thatthat's exactly what they're
looking for, like they justdesperately and I meet those
kids all the time.
They have no community, theyhave no friends.
(22:08):
Maybe they just moved here,maybe it's a military family
that moves around a lot, ormaybe they just switched schools
, or maybe they just switchedschools, or maybe they lost
their friend group for aparticular reason, who knows?
But there's a lot of lonelykids out there and I know if
you're listening to this podcastand you work with students, you
know that that is not asurprise to you.
We've got some lonely kids.
(22:29):
Loneliness is such an epidemicand so if you're not doing small
groups, then basically you'rerolling the dice and saying go
make friends, kid, you know theymight.
Adults need more help than thatLike that's why we have adult
small groups, adult life groups,whatever your church calls them
is because that's a lot to justsay, well, go find Christian
community of people who arelike-minded and want to serve
(22:52):
the Lord and love you and seeyou through life.
Good luck, yeah, Okay, you know, maybe for some lucky people,
but that's not the reality foreveryone.
So we design it that way to togive them community, to give
them the best chance of a, likeyou said, I love that word,
(23:12):
sticky faith, by the way, if youhaven't read the book Sticky
Church by Larry Osborne pick itup, it's a good one.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
To add one more thing to that I'm thinking back at.
You know, I've been at ourchurch for I don't know how many
years over well, over a decade.
But I bet you I could probablyconnect almost every single
person I know at our church,either through a life group or
serving with them, one of thetwo.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
And it just it goes to show like, especially if
you're, especially if you're ata larger church, but all like,
all you said was true for asmall church or a large church.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
But if you're a large church to wait.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
The best way to make a big church feel smaller is to
serve or to be involved in alife group small group, and if
you're not doing either of thosetwo things, how in the world do
you make connections?
Because there's the greet yourneighbor, which is great.
I really try my best toremember names and I feel like
so often I'm like, oh, I alreadyforgot it, but it's when you're
(24:10):
serving with those people, orin a small group with them, a
life group.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
That's the connectivity, yeah you're right,
as you're talking, I'm thinkingabout like the very first life
group I ever joined, you know,as an adult, totally, and I
think the reason I'm in ministryis because I was in a life
group and I got more involved.
Like you know, there's just somany things that doors it opens
for students, you know, in theirfaith journey.
So all right, oh, and smallgroups too.
(24:38):
Another thing I was going tomention is I love it when the
leaders become a part of likereal life.
You know, like they get invitedto the graduation parties, they
get invited to the birthdayparties, they go to the
performances, they're like therewith the kids.
And I love that when I get aninvitation to like a senior's
(25:01):
graduation I had you four yearsago and you invite me to your
graduation party, Like that'samazing, Like I love that.
Or you know, a birthday partyor a wedding a wedding.
Yes, I mean that kind of stuff,that is, those are like should
be green lights of like ding,ding, ding.
(25:21):
We're doing community.
Well, like, if you're gettinginvited to those kinds of things
, um, okay, number four campsand events hands down one of the
greatest ways to buildcommunity, because now we're
doing real life with them.
We're outside of youth group,we're eating, sleeping,
breathing, playing, frolicking,worshiping all the things with
(25:46):
them around the clock, 24 hoursa day, and there is just
something about it.
I always say one week of campis worth six months of youth
ministry.
In terms of connectedness.
We started promoting our summercamp today at church.
Sign-ups go live in two weeks,so we're showing all these
teaser videos and the kids arelike beyond excited.
(26:08):
They're like taking pictures ofthe slides and the
announcements, sending it totheir parents, like I don't want
my mom to forget, she's got tosign me up.
And it's like still like twoweeks away, because it's like
this time of just togethernessand bonding and closeness and
community and you could get afringe kid who, like doesn't
(26:28):
know anyone, is kind of justlike looking around, maybe knows
like a couple people, and thenyou put them on a camp and a
retreat and by the end of theweek you're your best friends,
you know, and they're totallybought in and they're ready to
go and ready to be a part ofthis community.
Their camp like.
I don't believe in magic okay,weirdos, but it's magical yeah,
(26:50):
you weirdos I just can't see soimmediately, like magic is not
real.
I know that, okay, but there'ssomething about camp and maybe
it's like just this.
I don't know what it is, but itis.
Is this magical experience?
It's like this holy spiritexperience like there is.
I cannot think of supernatural,supernatural yeah.
(27:15):
I was going to sing a song andthen I aborted that bitch thank
you there was a song by DC Toddon behalf of all the weirdos.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Thank you.
Now who's the weirdo?
Speaker 1 (27:26):
okay, I see what I did there humbled hashtag that
works you know what I?
meant, yeah, it's like thesupernatural experience and I
can't think of any othercircumstance where I feel that
way.
You know, like I have very deeptimes at youth group or church
(27:46):
or whatever, but it's a specificbrand that can't brings that.
I'm like can't replace that.
Like walls are coming down allover the place, like people are
having breakthroughs, people arelike opening up and becoming
their authentic selves.
I almost feel like even for me,it's like you're unplugged from
(28:09):
the daily rhythm and thescreens and the emails and
you're just like in a beautifulplace worshiping, playing, like
just being probably who we weremeant to be is like let's just
worship god and enjoy hiscreation.
I think that's what adam andeve's role was, you know, and
yeah, like taking care of theland and stuff like that.
(28:30):
But I mean you're living yourbest life for this week and it
just is transformative for on somany levels.
But tonight we're talkingspecifically about community and
like what that does for a group.
So if you don't do camps orretreats, we do just two a year.
(28:51):
We do a eight day summer campin July and then we do a weekend
winter camp in like Februaryand those are our catalysts for
relationships for the year.
You know that eight days I mean.
If you miss out, you miss a lot.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
You know one of the girls today, when we were
announcing it, she's like, oh mygosh, it's, it's coming up
again.
I feel like we just went Likeit just really like sticks with
you.
And then, lastly, to buildcommunity be a part of the
community.
Be present so kind of what wewere talking about with the
small group leader thing, youknow.
Be present in the community, Goto the graduation ceremonies.
(29:32):
One little hack you can havethis one for free.
I don't know if I've evertalked about this before.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
We're charging you for those, so this one for free.
I don't know if I've evertalked about this before
charging you for, though, somake sure you send that venmo
payment.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
All of this is free.
Y'all welcome.
So, either on the first day ofschool or the last day of school
for one of your major highschools or junior highs like
this we got these signs and wejust hand painted them and it
said happy first day of school,love, chaos.
and we stood out on the corneras all the kids were coming to
(30:06):
school, like the sign twirlers,and we had the signs and parents
were honking and people werewaving and taking pictures like
they felt so loved and it waslike so easy.
I just had to get up a littleearly Right Now that we have
kids that go to school.
It's a little harder becausewe're taking them to school.
But, and then, since the lastday of school is coming up first
(30:29):
, because this recording is inApril you could do something
like you did it, happy last day,love the name of your youth
group and have a couple ofleaders out there just to
congratulate them on their lastday of school.
So that's an easy way to be apart of the community.
You didn't have to buy a ticketto a ballet performance, you're
just we're standing on thecorner saying you did it or
(30:52):
happy first day of school, oryou know something cute like
that.
But yes, going to thegraduation ceremonies we try to
go to the eighth gradegraduation.
Since we are a middle school,we love to take a lot of
pictures with the kids you knowsporting events in your
community.
Just showing up, showing yourface being a member of the
(31:14):
community, is a really big deal.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
It means a lot to them.
It does, and their families.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
Yes, and we've talked about that before, but again,
that's another catalyst, for thecommunity we're trying to build
is to show people we're doinglife together.
This is the whole point of thisthing is to walk together, not
that the church is a separateentity and that, like you know,
but that we blend with theireveryday lives.
(31:42):
You know, we were a figure intheir, in their lives, and we're
showing, we're showing up,we're showing that this is
community like not just withinthe walls of the church, but
this is community like that youcan count on for, like this is
your, your life.
We exist outside of the walls ofthe church in the one day or
(32:04):
two days a week too yeah, I mean, because then you're really
showing that you meant it's notjust like, yes, we're in
community as long as you come tomy church from seven to nine
every tuesday night, it's likeand that's the only place it
exists.
Maybe that's the catalyst, butthat can't be where it ends like
.
Are we actually doing lifetogether?
Are we actually in community?
Is this going to be a long-termtransformative place for your
(32:27):
relationship with Jesus?
Well then, I've got to showthat I exist and community
exists outside of that.
45 minutes of your small groupon a Tuesday night, so yeah,
think of that, with that goal,as you plan your program of?
am I pointing my students not toa program but to a community,
(32:48):
and is that community leadingthem to authentic life change
and longevity for discipleshipand to strengthen their
relationship with Jesus?
That is why we do what we do.
So maybe start with the end inmind and work backwards from
there.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
Yes, exactly, we did an episode.
We've done several episodes onsmall groups and the importance
of them, Just to go deeper onwhat we talked about today.
You can check those out andalso we have.
If you have new students, howto get them connected to your
youth group.
Make sure you check out thatepisode.
We'll link it in thedescription below.
All right, this is a communitycomment of the day.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
I love this one.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
This comes from Lydia Long, who says as a student
pastor with two dachshunds, shesaid I've never felt so seen.
You are seen and known beforeyou are known and we are best
(33:46):
friends.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
She is, we're gonna be.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
She is referencing we had mentioned, I think,
dachshunds in an episode, sothat was her comment.
Speaker 1 (33:54):
I don't know if our listeners have picked up on this
yet.
Okay, of course, I course.
I love God the most, then myfamily, all the yes, stuff
you're supposed to love.
I the thing I love most in lifeis dachshunds.
Speaker 2 (34:08):
Yeah, every now and then we get a from back here.
If you're watching on YouTube,there'll be a little face pokes
through the window, a littleangel face.
Speaker 1 (34:15):
But nowadays.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
To get her to stay where she needs to be while
we're recording, we give her abone that's probably about the
same length as she is.
I can hear her in the otherroom still chewing away.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
I hear her chomping away Lydia Long.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
Yes, email us a picture of your dachshund so we
can see Get a long little doggy.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
Yes, we want a picture.
Yes.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
And you can be in it too.
Come on, and a video and a lockof his hair.
Both of them and um kristin inparticular, wants to know what
um the ears smell like.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
It's a weird thing she has yeah, just wipe it on a
paper towel, put it in a bag.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
You have lost every single person listening, except
for like the three or four thatmay have toxins thank, thank you
, lydia.
We appreciate it.
We appreciate you guys watchingand listening and we'll see you
next time.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
Today, we're talking about five ways that you can
make your youth group Youthgroup.
Today, we're talking about fiveways that you can make your
youth group more of a.
What is it?
Speaker 2 (35:15):
And I'm going, and I'm going, and I'm stopped Psych
.
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