March 13, 2025 • 36 mins
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GrowYourYouthMinistry.com *** Do you find that you are struggling to build an effective youth ministry team? The secret may not be finding new people — but simply bringing out the best in the people you already have. In this practical, leadership-focused episode, we break down the five essential strategies that can transform ordinary student ministry teams into extraordinary ones. These aren't just theoretical concepts but battle-tested approaches that have been refined through years of youth ministry leadership.
Whether you lead volunteers, student leaders, or youth ministry staff, these strategies will help you create a dream team where everyone feels valued and empowered to serve at their best!
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You may also enjoy these episodes:
(#199) 5 Tips to Build Your Youth Ministry Volunteer Dream Team
(#011) How to Recruit the Right Volunteers for Your Youth Ministry
(#214) 5 Proven Tips to Elevate Your Volunteers Experience in Youth Ministry
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Today, we're talking about five ways to bring out the
best in your youth ministryteam.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Welcome to the Ministry Coach Podcast, where we
give you weekly tips andtactics to help you fast track
the growth and health of youryouth ministry.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
My name is Jeff Lascola and this is Kristen
Laskola, and today we're goingto be talking all about how you,
as the leader, can get the bestout of your teams.
So this could be any type ofteam that you work with your
volunteer team, your studentleadership team, your staff and
intern team but your job as aleader is to draw out the best
(00:46):
from people.
And how can we strategize to dothat?
So, number one, it starts withyou.
Healthy leaders are essentialin the church.
I don't think it's any secretthat the church, more than any
other organization, needsemotionally, mentally,
physically and spirituallyhealthy leaders, because every
(01:12):
aspect of our ministry is adirect reflection of our health.
So a lot of times, youthpastors are looking for like
what do I want to do next?
Like pastors are looking forlike what do I want to do next?
Like what's the vision?
Like where are we going?
And those are all goodquestions to ask.
One of the thought patterns Iwould challenge you with is,
(01:34):
instead of focusing on where youwant to go, health might start
with focusing on who you want tobe first.
Not where should I go, but whoshould I be?
Because who we are, that is thedirection of the ministry.
Like we are the vision of theministry because, we've said it
(01:57):
before, like you're the mostimportant person in your
ministry Not that you are likelike inflated ego, most
important part but without yourhealth, the ministry health has
no hope, like it's not going tobe healthy without you.
So in order to bring out thebest out of your team, it starts
(02:17):
with you.
Think of yourself kind of likean athlete, right?
So an athlete shows up to gamesready to go in shape, practiced
up, warmed up.
They don't rely on the team tolike well, make me better, make
me into an athlete.
It's like well, I'm going toshow up on my a game.
(02:37):
I've eaten, right.
I've drinking, right, I'vedrank it.
That's such a hard word likewhat's about drunk?
Drunken, yes, I've slept right,I've trained right, you know?
It reminds me of that verse inhebrews 12.
Or.
It's like run the race set outfor you and so when we're
running our race and we've beenbeing diligent with our own
(03:03):
health, then we can start tobring out the best in other
people, because we bring ourbest every single day.
You know, if we show upconsistently tired, it's really
hard to have energy to bring thebest out of other people, to
want to pour into them, to wantto challenge them, Like if
you're just like aside fromhaving a newborn, if that's you
(03:27):
you get a pass, just survive,survive, nobody wants anything
from you except your eyes, propthem open and you know, go about
life.
But if we're, if you're in anyother stage, like, if you are
like, oh, I'm always tired and Ijust can't give it my best,
okay, why are you always tired?
Let's get to the root of that.
Are you sick?
(03:47):
Are you not eating or sleeping?
Well, why, like, I just don't.
We've we've brought it upbefore, but I just don't know if
we understand the impact of ourphysical health on the ministry
.
Health, If we're always sick andso we're having to be out a lot
, if we are emotionally drainedand we have nothing to give to
(04:10):
people and we are annoyed byeveryone and everyone is like an
interruption and we're in atoxic cycle of competition or
jealousy or insecurity, that'semotional health.
If we are depressed or anxious,you know all the time, whatever
it is for you, whatever thatarea of unhealth, I really
(04:33):
challenge you to take control ofthat area and do whatever it
takes to fix it so that you canbe an effective minister of the
gospel, so that you can run yourrace effectively, so that you
can be the vision of theministry, not just say, well,
where should we go, butunderstanding that it stems from
who you are.
(04:55):
First, and I love what CraigGroeschel says.
I've said it before, but hesays everybody wins when the
leader gets better.
Everybody wins when the leadergets better.
So when we are on our A gamephysically and we have energy to
give and excitement, when weare feeling good mentally and
can engage with people, when wehave an emotional capacity to
(05:16):
deal with hard stuff, you knowwe have the best chance at
drawing out the best from otherpeople.
So I think that's step one isyou can't possibly hope to bring
out someone's best if you'renot at your best.
And, to be honest, it's kind ofa lot of pressure to be at your
(05:37):
best.
It's not like be at your best24, seven or else, but like you,
as a leader, really do have tobe accountable to paying
attention to your own health.
You know a lot of people aredepending on you staying healthy
and all the senses of the wordthat we're talking about.
Let's go on to.
(05:58):
Oh.
Well, actually, before we dothat, how do we do that?
Well, read John 15, and ourpastor loves to talk about the
word remain or, depending onwhat version you're reading,
abide, and it's over and overand over again, remain, remain,
remain, remain, remain, remain.
He brings that up probablyevery other sermon, meaning it's
(06:21):
not just that we have thisincredible willpower to stay
healthy or reflect Christ or begodly Like I decide today I'm
going to be godly right, it'slike, well, the power to do that
comes from remaining abiding,being grafted in to Jesus
(06:41):
because he says, apart from me,you can do nothing, like really
nothing of significance.
And so staying connected to thesource, you know, being
constantly rooted in Jesus andour personal lives, that's where
we get the power to be thiskind of person that we're
(07:03):
talking about, because you'lljust kind of run out of steam on
your own right, you know, aftera while you can only muster up
the strength to be disciplinedin these areas so long.
But when you look to Jesus andyou remember the why, you know
that gives you the.
And I think a lot of times it'san accountability thing too.
(07:26):
He trusted me with thisministry and I'm going to have
to give an account for itsomeday.
And that verse where it saysnot many of you should become
teachers, my dear brothers, forin doing so you will incur
stricter judgment.
That's a pretty soberingthought for a pastor of a
stricter judgment Like.
(07:46):
That's a pretty soberingthought for a pastor of.
You will give an account to howyou led, did you steward this
responsibility?
Well, you know, I think, of theparable, of the talent, you
know all of those things.
I think in the context ofministry it's like okay, we will
have to answer for this somedayand let that sink in of am I
doing what I've been called todo to the best of my ability?
(08:08):
Well, in order to do that, Ihave to remain and I have to
stay healthy.
So how do we do that?
How do we bring the best out ofour team?
Well, number two relationships,relationships with people.
That's a number one when itcomes to bringing out the best.
So, having to put in thatrelational work like above and
(08:32):
beyond just their role and whatthey're doing for your ministry,
do you treat them as a personbefore you treat them as a
leader or an employee orwhatever, and you feed that
relational need and know abouttheir personal life?
I would say a lot of my leaderslove, love, love junior hires.
(08:53):
They're very good with students.
The reason they stay on my teamfor as long as they do is
relational.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
There is.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
it fills a relational need that we all have and we
have a lot of fun while doing it.
And I've said it beforestudents come and go, you know,
unfortunately, I wish I couldkeep my students forever right.
It's so hard to say goodbye,yet I want the team to stay as
constant as possible.
(09:24):
So looking at your leaders asactual people, so it's not like
every single conversation has tocenter around ministry and
their small group and you know,how did your you know event go
or whatever, but asking themabout them, hey, whatever
happened with this, and how'syour son doing?
And you know, did you guys doanything this summer?
(09:46):
I don't know, but like it'salways treating them as a person
and being seen by youspecifically, like connecting
them with each other is a bigdeal, but connecting them with
you is you just play a veryspecific role in the ministry
and people underestimate whatsomeone sitting in their seat
(10:11):
like if you're the ministryleader, that care is amplified,
right, the way that you care forthem means just that much more.
And I don't know why that is,but you know, when you're at
church and the head pastor orthe head leader like stops
everything they're doing to seehow you're doing or talk to you
(10:32):
or, you know, make a big dealabout you, like it just means
more.
I mean I guess it's cause youknow like, well, everyone knows
you and you're the one on stageor you're the one leading and
it's like, oh, and you'remindful of me, right?
You know, depending on how bigyour ministry is, you know that
could mean different things, butguaranteed your leaders, your
(10:55):
team, want connection with you.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Specifically.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
It's interesting.
As you were talking, I wasthinking so.
The leaders crave thatrelational, you know connection
and they love hanging out witheach other, talking about your
teams in specific, but it's theserving alongside of the
relational like you guys do getalong great, you have a lot of
fun with each other, but if theserving piece wasn't there, it
(11:21):
never would have come tofruition.
And it probably if you said heyguys, we're going to, we're
going to get rid of studentministries, but let's all hang
out still.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
It would fizzle.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Yeah, you're right, you know but you guys can go and
do retreats and you knowserving on the weekend and on
midweek and stuff, and it's likesuch a tight bond.
But it is also that servingthat is in addition to the
relational, which is a justinteresting thing, yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
It's like this perfect blend, like we have this
commonality of we're servingtogether and the students and we
can, you know, share storiesand experiences, but then,
beyond that, we can talk aboutthings other than just junior
hires and the ministry and allthat.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
So you're right, and the longevity is also, whereas
if you, if you went there andyou said, um, I don't have, like
, I just have the serving, but Idon't have the relational
connection, the longevity ofthat volunteer probably wouldn't
last very long.
Yeah, cause it'd be like, yeah,there has to be a purpose, for
sure.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
And so that kind of brings us to number three, where
, like to bring out the best inyour team, you have to be highly
observational and talk to thema lot and figure out what gets
them excited, what is like theirsweet spot of gifting, of
passion, like what do they loveto do.
(12:45):
And I have miscast peoplebefore where it's like like I
had a leader and I would alwaysgive him the opportunity to plan
games and I just kind ofthought, okay, he just doesn't
know how to do it yet, but he'llget it.
Like he just needs some help.
(13:06):
We never got there and itstarted to get to the point
where games aren't for everybody.
No, they're harder gamesthey're harder than they look.
You know there's a lot thatgoes into planning the perfect
game.
Executing the perfect gameisn't the right setting is that.
You know there's so manydifferent factors that go into
it and he just could not quiteget it and it got to the point
(13:27):
where the students were evennoticing and they were like let
me guess So-and-so is playingthe game today and I'm like, oh,
like, okay, and I didn't faulthim.
I thought I'm asking you to dosomething that is not within
your gift set.
We've tried, I've trained you,I've given you ideas.
(13:48):
And I think he was not wantingto wave the white flag because
like well, this is my job, youknow I better do it.
But it was just clear, likethis is not your passion nor
your gift, and everyone felt it.
And so then I moved him into adifferent role.
That was he like, did some moreadministrative stuff and some
(14:11):
more creative stuff and like,blew the doors off the thing,
like so good at it.
So I think we have to be willingto look at what are people
really good at, and if you justsense that it's not happening,
like, you could keep like, nope,just keep trying, keep trying,
(14:33):
keep trying.
Or you could say, hmm, allright, let's try something
different for you.
But that takes intentionalityto know your people so that you
can keep bringing out the bestin them.
So encourage them in theirstrengths.
There's a saying we say at ourchurch called build on islands
of strength.
Instead of worrying about whatyou're not good at, focus in on
(14:57):
what you're really good at andbecome excellent at it.
You know, because, like, evenif he had had all this training
on doing games, I could tell thebest he could ever give me
would be like a, b minus, youknow, and so I took that back.
I can lead games.
And then I put him in charge ofsomething that aligned more
(15:20):
with his natural gifts andpassions and now I can expect
like A pluses every single time,which is great for him because
he feels excited, he feelsencouraged, he has motivation
and energy, instead of justscraping by doing this task
because I asked him to do it.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Yeah, great for the ministry too, because then
they're getting A plus work aswell.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Absolutely, and then it keeps him around for longer
because he likes what he's doing, and so you just have to be
very intentional with puttingpeople in their sweet spot Like
where is it effortless for?
Speaker 2 (15:55):
you.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
What do you love and giving people and this is mostly
talking for me, like my staffteam.
This could work for yourvolunteers as well if you're
going to use them in somedifferent capacities, but for me
it was developing my staff moreof like all right, what can I,
where can I put you that Like?
(16:18):
this is just your absolute sweetspot you know and you're loving
, loving, loving it, and so youknow, assume the best of them.
I think this could go one oftwo ways of like well, you're
just lazy, you can't learn this,you're not trying.
I think it takes wisdom to kindof stop and say is this a work
(16:43):
ethic thing, why you're notgetting this, or is this a
gifting thing, where it's justlike this is not your strong
suit?
Teaching is one of those things.
Like a lot of my interns overthe years have wanted to try and
teach.
I like to give an opportunityand I'll give you some feedback.
Sometimes you can tell prettysoon after you start this
(17:09):
endeavor whether someone it'slike oh you have some natural
gifts, we just need to tightenthis up.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Or like oh, I just don't know if this is ever going
to be your A game.
Not a bad thing, not everyonehas to be a teacher but, then
you have to ask yourself wellthen, what is your A game?
And it takes that time to studyyour people, to figure out, Hmm
, like I know you're here for areason, I know you have gifts, I
(17:37):
know you have strengths.
I just have to figure out, like, where to plug them in so that
this thing illuminates.
You know, and sometimes andthat's why it's like it's mostly
your job as a leader, because alot of times people don't know
that about themselves it's likeafter watching them for a while,
(17:59):
like I was watching one of mystaff members a while ago and he
had tried some different thingsand it was like all fine, but
you could tell it wasn't likebutter like oh my gosh, this was
effortless, what you're meantto do.
So then I watched him in adifferent environment and
watched him work in a differentway and doing some different
(18:23):
tasks and I'm like, oh my gosh,like you're better than I ever
could have imagined.
You know, it was just he neededa different setting, he needed
to kick into a different gear,he needed to try something
different.
He, I think, was trying to be aleader, like a different leader
than he actually was.
You know what I mean.
(18:43):
And so now you know, back thenI kind of honed him into, like I
think this is the kind ofleader you are.
I think these are the kind ofroles you're good at.
I think you were looking ateveryone else on stage or
teaching or leading big groupsand doing stuff, and I think you
were trying to be them, but Ithink you're actually this.
(19:06):
So it's not just asking peoplewell, what are you good at?
What do you want to do?
I honestly think it's part ofour job to observe and watch and
help them unlock it, you know,because even if they're adults
which all the people we'retalking about probably are or
close to it, they might not havethe self-awareness or the
(19:30):
experience to actually know youknow.
And so they need someone who'spaying attention to the nuances
of their leadership andpersonality and gifts and
strengths and say here's what Ithink you might be good at,
let's try, and I'm going tosupport you doing it.
So along with that comes thenext one is give relevant and
(19:52):
constructive feedback keywordcontinuously.
So giving them feedback on howthings are going like helps them
hone their skill a little bit.
This is a big undertakingbecause you have to constantly
observe people, take note ofpeople and get people from point
(20:15):
A to point B, from point B topoint C, so, for example,
debriefing an event.
Hey, I feel like this wentreally well.
I loved the part you played.
Here's where it could have gonea little better.
Maybe we should have put thearrival time a little bit
earlier, because you didn't seemtotally prepared with
everything you had to do, orblah, blah, blah.
(20:36):
So you're giving them feedbackcontinuously to help them
sharpen the skills.
And think of it like this Ifsomebody were to try to hire
somebody that's been on yourteam for a year or two, could
they hire them or would theywonder why did they never work
on this with?
Speaker 2 (20:55):
you.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
So like, for example, someone who wants to be a youth
pastor, who has been with you ayear or two and their teaching
gift hasn't grown at all.
Well, why not?
Is it that they just they'renot meant to be teacher?
Or have you not been givingconstructive feedback on a
continual basis and helping themmove in the direction where,
(21:18):
hey, tomorrow somebody couldhire them?
Because I've put in the workwith this person to help them
refine their teaching skills,helping them refine their
leadership skills, helping themrefine their stage presence,
helping them refine theirconflict resolution skills,
helping them to refine theirstage presence, helping them
refine their conflict resolutionskills, helping them to refine
their character.
Sometimes it's a character thingwith people where it's like hey
(21:39):
, you know, the way you talk topeople really rubs people the
wrong way.
I know you don't mean it thatway, but here's how you're
coming across and it's thisconstant feedback with them out
of.
But see, that's whyrelationship was at the top,
because if you don't have arelationship with people, it's
really hard to speak thisbrutally honest into their life.
(22:00):
One of my directors said oncehe said my favorite thing about
you is that you're always realwith me.
He's like, but I never take itoffensively, he's like because
we have such a greatrelationship that I can hear
what you're saying without, likemy defensiveness getting in the
(22:22):
way, cause I know you love meand you prove that through the
rest of our interactions andeven through this.
I never yell like, oh, you didthis wrong and what's wrong with
you, you know.
But it's like hey, if you wantto go to the next level, like
you've got to get this undercontrol.
Or you know, sometimes withpeople it's a scheduling thing,
(22:43):
or you know, like little things,like you need to be on time, or
just they should be very clearon what is their next step.
It be very clear on what istheir next step, you know, at
any given time they should knowhow can I be one step closer or
more advanced in my leadershipor in my skills, like what is
the next thing that they'reworking on?
(23:03):
Don't let them sit idle, don'tlet just you know.
Like I think a lot of pastorsget given to the temptation to
maybe be on cruise control alittle bit like, well, my team's
doing good, Ministry's doinggood, like what?
What more is there to do, youknow?
But I feel like we can alwaysnot only be growing ourselves
(23:25):
but growing the team around usof like, where's the next area I
can challenge you in?
What's the next area I can helpyou in?
Where's the next area I canchallenge you in.
What's the next area?
I can help you in.
What is the next area that youwant to focus on?
And you continuing to give theirfeedback, like if they think of
it also, in the way, if theywere to take your job in a year,
what would they need to know?
Like, don't gatekeep, don'thold things back.
(23:47):
Teach them everything you know,depending on what level they're
at.
Sometimes I bring them intosome conflict, like you don't
have to use real names, but I'llsay all right, I got an email
from a parent and here's whatthey said and you know, here's
what I thought.
And then I said this, and thenyou know, bringing them along
for the ride of like this is howI'm going to do it.
Conflict resolution withparents go, if you sit in this
(24:11):
seat, this is how you wouldhandle it and what you need to
know.
So don't isolate them from thereal job by like, well, he's
just the guy who sets up chairs,but we're constantly developing
people in ministry and tryingto bring out their best, because
chances are there's so muchmore in them that they don't
realize and that you don'trealize.
(24:33):
But it's a process that isconstantly moving.
So if you feel like you're inthat place of stagnation with
your leaders, like, yeah, we'reall just chilling.
We're good.
That's going to get stalepretty quick, you know.
So who can you be challenging?
Who can you be challenging?
Where can you help people comealive and realize some things
(25:00):
about themselves that maybethat's why God put them on your
team, because he wanted you toexcavate those things out of
people?
You know, like that parablewhere it's like the master goes
away and like the whole idea isdon't hoard the gifts.
Multiply them right.
Be a good steward of what Godhas given you and, yeah, for us.
(25:20):
But also teaching people how todo that.
Like, hey, you've got gifts.
Like I want to see you usethese.
I want to see you grow in these.
I want to see these multiply.
I want to see these being usedfor the kingdom.
See you grow in these.
I want to see these multiply.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
I want to see these being used for the kingdom.
How can I help you do that?
And I don't think anybody likein their lane is unhappy you
know, like when you're guidingthem towards the things that
they're good at and helping themexcel in that.
I don't think most people wouldbe like I don't, like.
This isn't for me.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
Right.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
You know, it's usually the opposite.
When, like you're saying, I'mplanning games and it's not
going well, I don't have anygood ideas, I don't know how to
execute them, that's.
I don't think anyone's in thatsituation going this is awesome,
Right, so me, you know it'salways the opposite.
Yeah, totally.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
And and it's surprising what people like and
don't like.
You know, like I asked one ofmy leaders this week.
I'm like hey, can you do Bibledrills?
And they're like I love doingBible drills.
I'm like great, then you goLike I don't mind doing it, I'll
do it if I, if no one else will.
But they like, loved it andthey felt like this was their A
(26:24):
game for the week, and that'sawesome, you know.
And so, lastly, as the headpastor or as the head leader,
whatever your title is youshould be doing the brunt of the
work and the grunt work.
Brunt and grunt, okay, becauseI feel like my philosophy has
(26:48):
always been, with my leaders,you guys have free access.
What do you want to do?
Whatever's left over thatnobody wanted or nobody was
interested in, I'm happy to dothat.
Meaning, if they're teaching,they pick the topic they want.
I'll take what's left over.
(27:08):
If there's roles for theweekend, they can pick what they
want.
I'll take what's left over.
If there's roles for theweekend, they can pick what they
want.
I'll take what's left over,even when it comes to cleaning,
like I was scraping tape off theauditorium floor last week by
myself, which is fine Was ityour own tape.
Well, it was the ministry's tape.
We were playing a game and itwas like that's fine, they were
(27:30):
doing other things.
So, being willing to work hardas the ministry lead so that
other people can have thatmargin to sort of explore what
they want to do, you know, Ijust think as the ministry lead
you can afford them a reallycool opportunity Like, hey, you
pick first, you go, first youwhat looks good to you, I'll
(27:53):
take whatever's left.
Cause sometimes I think theylook to the leader like you tell
me, like what I have to do.
And then you do and I'm like no,what role do you want?
What sounds good to you, whatsounds exciting, that you want
to try?
I'll support you in that andthen I'll pick up the rest.
You know, and it's probably alot of stuff they don't even
(28:13):
ever see, but it's just like Iwant you to feel like you're in
your sweet spot and I'll do therest and I don't really care
because my goal is not for meanymore.
It's not like well, what do Iwant to do in?
Speaker 2 (28:30):
ministry.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
My goal is to look at my team and say my goal is not
for Kristen to bring out thebest in her, but to bring out
the best in you guys, so that weare the best team.
And I got a great complimentfrom one of them the other day
and she said, like I always feelso proud to tell people I'm on
your team, and I was like wow,that means a lot because,
(28:53):
especially for a middle schoolministry- what do you mean?
Speaker 2 (28:56):
It's like the shunned group of the church.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Well, I think, because I let them, like my team
, my staff.
I'm like, yeah, what do youguys want to do?
What are you good at?
I'm not going to be like, well,I'm in charge, you're going to
do exactly what I say, and thenmaybe I'll let you try other
things.
It's like, all right, I'm goingto sit in the back seat, I'm
going to let you guys figure outwhat you want to do and then
(29:24):
I'll jump in when it's needed,because I want them to feel like
, okay, we're really doing this.
We're not Kirsten's littleminions, but it's like we have,
say, we can do real ministry.
And that's bringing outsomeone's best of giving away
(29:44):
leadership, giving away control,helping them discover their
gifts, giving them thatcontinual feedback, helping them
to be developed into the bestversion of themselves.
And the truth is, when you dothat, your whole entire team
wins.
I think some students yeah, Imean, I think sometimes leaders
are afraid to do that becausethey don't want to lose their
(30:07):
grip and their control overtheir ministry.
But the interesting thing is,the more you give away, the
healthier it becomes, becauseshared leadership is so much
more vibrant than one person atthe top and everyone in their
little cult following what theysay to do.
(30:28):
It's like.
That's not dynamic, that's notvibrant, that's not life-giving,
that's not contagious.
You know, it's just boring tobe the minion.
For the pastor it's like, yay,like.
But if the pastor is like, oh,you get on my team and I'm going
to shine you up and I'm goingto like, make you into the best
(30:50):
version of yourself and,truthfully, that is the goal.
Like anyone who joins your team,it's like, not like.
Well, what do you have to offerme?
What do you bring to the tablefor my team?
It's more.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
Ask not what I can do for the youth ministry, ask
what the youth ministry can do.
Wait, no, something like that.
It had potential Too bad sadbut chat gbt, rewrite that make
it make sense who are youwithout your chat, gbt?
Speaker 1 (31:19):
look at this but your goal is you join my team and
you will leave here far betterthan when you came in, not just
well, you're allowed to help memake my ministry better.
It's like no, I'm going to showyou like your unlocked
potential and it's just again.
(31:42):
The whole thing trickles downand you create leaders who are
happy to be there, leaders whofeel like a sense of ownership
and excitement, and theircreativity is unleashed because
they know it can be, and theycome up with ideas and they
execute ideas and you are thereto be, cheering them on,
(32:06):
supporting them and constantlyopening doors for them.
That is, to me, the sweet spotof leadership and the sweet spot
of ministry.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
honestly, yeah, if you guys want to check out
another episode we did to kindof further the conversation, we
did one all about how to createa dream team of volunteers, so
make sure you check that out.
All right, the question of theday this week is what is
something you were like 100%certain of, only to find out
later that you were wrong?
Speaker 1 (32:36):
I don't know if we've already answered this, but I
thought narwhals weren't real.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
We talked about the narwhal tooth.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
That was in the house recently, oh, in the tooth
house, the tooth house.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
It was the dentist.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
Yeah, I thought they were mythological creatures like
unicorns of the sea.
I had no idea that was real.
I thought it was just.
You know, like a does seem like, but they're real.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
And I.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
I think I even told, like our children like that, no,
no, those aren't real.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
It's just like the unicorn of the sea, yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
But lo and behold, they are real and they are
fascinating they are fast, but Iwas convinced, like of course
they don't exist.
I think a lot of people thinkthat I've heard other people say
that before, like I thoughtunicorn or I thought narwhals
were totally made up yeah, everytime I hear you or myself say
(33:33):
narwhal, I feel like we'resaying it wrong, but I think
that is how you say it.
Well, I used to think it wascalled a narwhal.
It wouldn't make more sense.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
A uniwhale.
I one time bet on this and lost.
But someone said that the movieGoonies from way back when had
an octopus in it and like, andit was taken out of the movie
like a deleted scene and I'mlike what?
There's no way there was anoctopus in Goonies.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
And lo and behold, and there's a deleted scene and
it's really, and when you watchit, look at, it's probably on
YouTube, I'm sure.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
Is it gross?
Speaker 2 (34:14):
It's just so unrealistic and it was like a
really weird thing to add in it.
Like sometimes you see stuffthat made the cutting room floor
in movies.
You're like, yeah, thatabsolutely should have been on
the cutting room floor and thespecial effects were really
cheesy and just weird.
Well, yeah, that movie came outin the 90s no, 80s, 80s are you
(34:37):
sure?
Speaker 1 (34:37):
okay, well, no offense, because I know god's
creatures are all his creatures,but octopuses are gross octopi,
octopi well this was like afake, not cgi.
Speaker 2 (34:50):
It was like a.
What do you call it?
Muppet, yeah, or something thatthey made it a marionette.
I couldn't, okay.
There's one part.
I couldn't tell if this wassped up to make look ridiculous,
but it was like it was flappingits tentacles really fast all
right, we're just gonna have toyoutube it.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
Yeah, it's pretty.
Speaker 2 (35:08):
It's pretty good to watch, but you could see why it
was not in there put in thecomments.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
Pretty good to watch.
Speaker 2 (35:12):
Yeah, it is pretty funny to watch.
It's pretty good to watch, butyou could see why it was not in
there, put in the comments.
Pretty good to watch.
Yeah, it is pretty funny towatch.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
It's pretty good to watch, it's pretty great to
watch put in the commentssection below.
Speaker 2 (35:20):
Is there anything you were ever 100% certain of, only
to find out later that you werewrong?
All right, let's do a communitycomment of the day.
This comes from our good friendsammy verbis, oh, who says
great video.
Thanks for reinforcing what mypassion is Dang.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
Sammy's a good guy.
Speaker 2 (35:36):
Sammy is a good guy.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
Hello Sammy, hello Sammy, hello.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
Sammy.
Thank you guys for watching andlistening and we'll see you
next time.
Speaker 1 (35:44):
If someone would have told me do these five things
and you'll never.
Speaker 2 (35:48):
Take two.
So this, maybe that is time topanic you're looking at me all
weird.
Today, we're talking about five ways to bring out the
best in your youth ministryteam.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Welcome to the Ministry Coach Podcast, where we
give you weekly tips andtactics to help you fast track
the growth and health of youryouth ministry.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
My name is Jeff Lascola and this is Kristen
Laskola, and today we're goingto be talking all about how you,
as the leader, can get the bestout of your teams.
So this could be any type ofteam that you work with your
volunteer team, your studentleadership team, your staff and
intern team but your job as aleader is to draw out the best
(00:46):
from people.
And how can we strategize to dothat?
So, number one, it starts withyou.
Healthy leaders are essentialin the church.
I don't think it's any secretthat the church, more than any
other organization, needsemotionally, mentally,
physically and spirituallyhealthy leaders, because every
(01:12):
aspect of our ministry is adirect reflection of our health.
So a lot of times, youthpastors are looking for like
what do I want to do next?
Like pastors are looking forlike what do I want to do next?
Like what's the vision?
Like where are we going?
And those are all goodquestions to ask.
One of the thought patterns Iwould challenge you with is,
(01:34):
instead of focusing on where youwant to go, health might start
with focusing on who you want tobe first.
Not where should I go, but whoshould I be?
Because who we are, that is thedirection of the ministry.
Like we are the vision of theministry because, we've said it
(01:57):
before, like you're the mostimportant person in your
ministry Not that you are likelike inflated ego, most
important part but without yourhealth, the ministry health has
no hope, like it's not going tobe healthy without you.
So in order to bring out thebest out of your team, it starts
(02:17):
with you.
Think of yourself kind of likean athlete, right?
So an athlete shows up to gamesready to go in shape, practiced
up, warmed up.
They don't rely on the team tolike well, make me better, make
me into an athlete.
It's like well, I'm going toshow up on my a game.
(02:37):
I've eaten, right.
I've drinking, right, I'vedrank it.
That's such a hard word likewhat's about drunk?
Drunken, yes, I've slept right,I've trained right, you know?
It reminds me of that verse inhebrews 12.
Or.
It's like run the race set outfor you and so when we're
running our race and we've beenbeing diligent with our own
(03:03):
health, then we can start tobring out the best in other
people, because we bring ourbest every single day.
You know, if we show upconsistently tired, it's really
hard to have energy to bring thebest out of other people, to
want to pour into them, to wantto challenge them, Like if
you're just like aside fromhaving a newborn, if that's you
(03:27):
you get a pass, just survive,survive, nobody wants anything
from you except your eyes, propthem open and you know, go about
life.
But if we're, if you're in anyother stage, like, if you are
like, oh, I'm always tired and Ijust can't give it my best,
okay, why are you always tired?
Let's get to the root of that.
Are you sick?
(03:47):
Are you not eating or sleeping?
Well, why, like, I just don't.
We've we've brought it upbefore, but I just don't know if
we understand the impact of ourphysical health on the ministry
.
Health, If we're always sick andso we're having to be out a lot
, if we are emotionally drainedand we have nothing to give to
(04:10):
people and we are annoyed byeveryone and everyone is like an
interruption and we're in atoxic cycle of competition or
jealousy or insecurity, that'semotional health.
If we are depressed or anxious,you know all the time, whatever
it is for you, whatever thatarea of unhealth, I really
(04:33):
challenge you to take control ofthat area and do whatever it
takes to fix it so that you canbe an effective minister of the
gospel, so that you can run yourrace effectively, so that you
can be the vision of theministry, not just say, well,
where should we go, butunderstanding that it stems from
who you are.
(04:55):
First, and I love what CraigGroeschel says.
I've said it before, but hesays everybody wins when the
leader gets better.
Everybody wins when the leadergets better.
So when we are on our A gamephysically and we have energy to
give and excitement, when weare feeling good mentally and
can engage with people, when wehave an emotional capacity to
(05:16):
deal with hard stuff, you knowwe have the best chance at
drawing out the best from otherpeople.
So I think that's step one isyou can't possibly hope to bring
out someone's best if you'renot at your best.
And, to be honest, it's kind ofa lot of pressure to be at your
(05:37):
best.
It's not like be at your best24, seven or else, but like you,
as a leader, really do have tobe accountable to paying
attention to your own health.
You know a lot of people aredepending on you staying healthy
and all the senses of the wordthat we're talking about.
Let's go on to.
(05:58):
Oh.
Well, actually, before we dothat, how do we do that?
Well, read John 15, and ourpastor loves to talk about the
word remain or, depending onwhat version you're reading,
abide, and it's over and overand over again, remain, remain,
remain, remain, remain, remain.
He brings that up probablyevery other sermon, meaning it's
(06:21):
not just that we have thisincredible willpower to stay
healthy or reflect Christ or begodly Like I decide today I'm
going to be godly right, it'slike, well, the power to do that
comes from remaining abiding,being grafted in to Jesus
(06:41):
because he says, apart from me,you can do nothing, like really
nothing of significance.
And so staying connected to thesource, you know, being
constantly rooted in Jesus andour personal lives, that's where
we get the power to be thiskind of person that we're
(07:03):
talking about, because you'lljust kind of run out of steam on
your own right, you know, aftera while you can only muster up
the strength to be disciplinedin these areas so long.
But when you look to Jesus andyou remember the why, you know
that gives you the.
And I think a lot of times it'san accountability thing too.
(07:26):
He trusted me with thisministry and I'm going to have
to give an account for itsomeday.
And that verse where it saysnot many of you should become
teachers, my dear brothers, forin doing so you will incur
stricter judgment.
That's a pretty soberingthought for a pastor of a
stricter judgment Like.
(07:46):
That's a pretty soberingthought for a pastor of.
You will give an account to howyou led, did you steward this
responsibility?
Well, you know, I think, of theparable, of the talent, you
know all of those things.
I think in the context ofministry it's like okay, we will
have to answer for this somedayand let that sink in of am I
doing what I've been called todo to the best of my ability?
(08:08):
Well, in order to do that, Ihave to remain and I have to
stay healthy.
So how do we do that?
How do we bring the best out ofour team?
Well, number two relationships,relationships with people.
That's a number one when itcomes to bringing out the best.
So, having to put in thatrelational work like above and
(08:32):
beyond just their role and whatthey're doing for your ministry,
do you treat them as a personbefore you treat them as a
leader or an employee orwhatever, and you feed that
relational need and know abouttheir personal life?
I would say a lot of my leaderslove, love, love junior hires.
(08:53):
They're very good with students.
The reason they stay on my teamfor as long as they do is
relational.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
There is.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
it fills a relational need that we all have and we
have a lot of fun while doing it.
And I've said it beforestudents come and go, you know,
unfortunately, I wish I couldkeep my students forever right.
It's so hard to say goodbye,yet I want the team to stay as
constant as possible.
(09:24):
So looking at your leaders asactual people, so it's not like
every single conversation has tocenter around ministry and
their small group and you know,how did your you know event go
or whatever, but asking themabout them, hey, whatever
happened with this, and how'syour son doing?
And you know, did you guys doanything this summer?
(09:46):
I don't know, but like it'salways treating them as a person
and being seen by youspecifically, like connecting
them with each other is a bigdeal, but connecting them with
you is you just play a veryspecific role in the ministry
and people underestimate whatsomeone sitting in their seat
(10:11):
like if you're the ministryleader, that care is amplified,
right, the way that you care forthem means just that much more.
And I don't know why that is,but you know, when you're at
church and the head pastor orthe head leader like stops
everything they're doing to seehow you're doing or talk to you
(10:32):
or, you know, make a big dealabout you, like it just means
more.
I mean I guess it's cause youknow like, well, everyone knows
you and you're the one on stageor you're the one leading and
it's like, oh, and you'remindful of me, right?
You know, depending on how bigyour ministry is, you know that
could mean different things, butguaranteed your leaders, your
(10:55):
team, want connection with you.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Specifically.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
It's interesting.
As you were talking, I wasthinking so.
The leaders crave thatrelational, you know connection
and they love hanging out witheach other, talking about your
teams in specific, but it's theserving alongside of the
relational like you guys do getalong great, you have a lot of
fun with each other, but if theserving piece wasn't there, it
(11:21):
never would have come tofruition.
And it probably if you said heyguys, we're going to, we're
going to get rid of studentministries, but let's all hang
out still.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
It would fizzle.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Yeah, you're right, you know but you guys can go and
do retreats and you knowserving on the weekend and on
midweek and stuff, and it's likesuch a tight bond.
But it is also that servingthat is in addition to the
relational, which is a justinteresting thing, yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
It's like this perfect blend, like we have this
commonality of we're servingtogether and the students and we
can, you know, share storiesand experiences, but then,
beyond that, we can talk aboutthings other than just junior
hires and the ministry and allthat.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
So you're right, and the longevity is also, whereas
if you, if you went there andyou said, um, I don't have, like
, I just have the serving, but Idon't have the relational
connection, the longevity ofthat volunteer probably wouldn't
last very long.
Yeah, cause it'd be like, yeah,there has to be a purpose, for
sure.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
And so that kind of brings us to number three, where
, like to bring out the best inyour team, you have to be highly
observational and talk to thema lot and figure out what gets
them excited, what is like theirsweet spot of gifting, of
passion, like what do they loveto do.
(12:45):
And I have miscast peoplebefore where it's like like I
had a leader and I would alwaysgive him the opportunity to plan
games and I just kind ofthought, okay, he just doesn't
know how to do it yet, but he'llget it.
Like he just needs some help.
(13:06):
We never got there and itstarted to get to the point
where games aren't for everybody.
No, they're harder gamesthey're harder than they look.
You know there's a lot thatgoes into planning the perfect
game.
Executing the perfect gameisn't the right setting is that.
You know there's so manydifferent factors that go into
it and he just could not quiteget it and it got to the point
(13:27):
where the students were evennoticing and they were like let
me guess So-and-so is playingthe game today and I'm like, oh,
like, okay, and I didn't faulthim.
I thought I'm asking you to dosomething that is not within
your gift set.
We've tried, I've trained you,I've given you ideas.
(13:48):
And I think he was not wantingto wave the white flag because
like well, this is my job, youknow I better do it.
But it was just clear, likethis is not your passion nor
your gift, and everyone felt it.
And so then I moved him into adifferent role.
That was he like, did some moreadministrative stuff and some
(14:11):
more creative stuff and like,blew the doors off the thing,
like so good at it.
So I think we have to be willingto look at what are people
really good at, and if you justsense that it's not happening,
like, you could keep like, nope,just keep trying, keep trying,
(14:33):
keep trying.
Or you could say, hmm, allright, let's try something
different for you.
But that takes intentionalityto know your people so that you
can keep bringing out the bestin them.
So encourage them in theirstrengths.
There's a saying we say at ourchurch called build on islands
of strength.
Instead of worrying about whatyou're not good at, focus in on
(14:57):
what you're really good at andbecome excellent at it.
You know, because, like, evenif he had had all this training
on doing games, I could tell thebest he could ever give me
would be like a, b minus, youknow, and so I took that back.
I can lead games.
And then I put him in charge ofsomething that aligned more
(15:20):
with his natural gifts andpassions and now I can expect
like A pluses every single time,which is great for him because
he feels excited, he feelsencouraged, he has motivation
and energy, instead of justscraping by doing this task
because I asked him to do it.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Yeah, great for the ministry too, because then
they're getting A plus work aswell.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Absolutely, and then it keeps him around for longer
because he likes what he's doing, and so you just have to be
very intentional with puttingpeople in their sweet spot Like
where is it effortless for?
Speaker 2 (15:55):
you.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
What do you love and giving people and this is mostly
talking for me, like my staffteam.
This could work for yourvolunteers as well if you're
going to use them in somedifferent capacities, but for me
it was developing my staff moreof like all right, what can I,
where can I put you that Like?
(16:18):
this is just your absolute sweetspot you know and you're loving
, loving, loving it, and so youknow, assume the best of them.
I think this could go one oftwo ways of like well, you're
just lazy, you can't learn this,you're not trying.
I think it takes wisdom to kindof stop and say is this a work
(16:43):
ethic thing, why you're notgetting this, or is this a
gifting thing, where it's justlike this is not your strong
suit?
Teaching is one of those things.
Like a lot of my interns overthe years have wanted to try and
teach.
I like to give an opportunityand I'll give you some feedback.
Sometimes you can tell prettysoon after you start this
(17:09):
endeavor whether someone it'slike oh you have some natural
gifts, we just need to tightenthis up.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Or like oh, I just don't know if this is ever going
to be your A game.
Not a bad thing, not everyonehas to be a teacher but, then
you have to ask yourself wellthen, what is your A game?
And it takes that time to studyyour people, to figure out, Hmm
, like I know you're here for areason, I know you have gifts, I
(17:37):
know you have strengths.
I just have to figure out, like, where to plug them in so that
this thing illuminates.
You know, and sometimes andthat's why it's like it's mostly
your job as a leader, because alot of times people don't know
that about themselves it's likeafter watching them for a while,
(17:59):
like I was watching one of mystaff members a while ago and he
had tried some different thingsand it was like all fine, but
you could tell it wasn't likebutter like oh my gosh, this was
effortless, what you're meantto do.
So then I watched him in adifferent environment and
watched him work in a differentway and doing some different
(18:23):
tasks and I'm like, oh my gosh,like you're better than I ever
could have imagined.
You know, it was just he neededa different setting, he needed
to kick into a different gear,he needed to try something
different.
He, I think, was trying to be aleader, like a different leader
than he actually was.
You know what I mean.
(18:43):
And so now you know, back thenI kind of honed him into, like I
think this is the kind ofleader you are.
I think these are the kind ofroles you're good at.
I think you were looking ateveryone else on stage or
teaching or leading big groupsand doing stuff, and I think you
were trying to be them, but Ithink you're actually this.
(19:06):
So it's not just asking peoplewell, what are you good at?
What do you want to do?
I honestly think it's part ofour job to observe and watch and
help them unlock it, you know,because even if they're adults
which all the people we'retalking about probably are or
close to it, they might not havethe self-awareness or the
(19:30):
experience to actually know youknow.
And so they need someone who'spaying attention to the nuances
of their leadership andpersonality and gifts and
strengths and say here's what Ithink you might be good at,
let's try, and I'm going tosupport you doing it.
So along with that comes thenext one is give relevant and
(19:52):
constructive feedback keywordcontinuously.
So giving them feedback on howthings are going like helps them
hone their skill a little bit.
This is a big undertakingbecause you have to constantly
observe people, take note ofpeople and get people from point
(20:15):
A to point B, from point B topoint C, so, for example,
debriefing an event.
Hey, I feel like this wentreally well.
I loved the part you played.
Here's where it could have gonea little better.
Maybe we should have put thearrival time a little bit
earlier, because you didn't seemtotally prepared with
everything you had to do, orblah, blah, blah.
(20:36):
So you're giving them feedbackcontinuously to help them
sharpen the skills.
And think of it like this Ifsomebody were to try to hire
somebody that's been on yourteam for a year or two, could
they hire them or would theywonder why did they never work
on this with?
Speaker 2 (20:55):
you.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
So like, for example, someone who wants to be a youth
pastor, who has been with you ayear or two and their teaching
gift hasn't grown at all.
Well, why not?
Is it that they just they'renot meant to be teacher?
Or have you not been givingconstructive feedback on a
continual basis and helping themmove in the direction where,
(21:18):
hey, tomorrow somebody couldhire them?
Because I've put in the workwith this person to help them
refine their teaching skills,helping them refine their
leadership skills, helping themrefine their stage presence,
helping them refine theirconflict resolution skills,
helping them to refine theirstage presence, helping them
refine their conflict resolutionskills, helping them to refine
their character.
Sometimes it's a character thingwith people where it's like hey
(21:39):
, you know, the way you talk topeople really rubs people the
wrong way.
I know you don't mean it thatway, but here's how you're
coming across and it's thisconstant feedback with them out
of.
But see, that's whyrelationship was at the top,
because if you don't have arelationship with people, it's
really hard to speak thisbrutally honest into their life.
(22:00):
One of my directors said oncehe said my favorite thing about
you is that you're always realwith me.
He's like, but I never take itoffensively, he's like because
we have such a greatrelationship that I can hear
what you're saying without, likemy defensiveness getting in the
(22:22):
way, cause I know you love meand you prove that through the
rest of our interactions andeven through this.
I never yell like, oh, you didthis wrong and what's wrong with
you, you know.
But it's like hey, if you wantto go to the next level, like
you've got to get this undercontrol.
Or you know, sometimes withpeople it's a scheduling thing,
(22:43):
or you know, like little things,like you need to be on time, or
just they should be very clearon what is their next step.
It be very clear on what istheir next step, you know, at
any given time they should knowhow can I be one step closer or
more advanced in my leadershipor in my skills, like what is
the next thing that they'reworking on?
(23:03):
Don't let them sit idle, don'tlet just you know.
Like I think a lot of pastorsget given to the temptation to
maybe be on cruise control alittle bit like, well, my team's
doing good, Ministry's doinggood, like what?
What more is there to do, youknow?
But I feel like we can alwaysnot only be growing ourselves
(23:25):
but growing the team around usof like, where's the next area I
can challenge you in?
What's the next area I can helpyou in?
Where's the next area I canchallenge you in.
What's the next area?
I can help you in.
What is the next area that youwant to focus on?
And you continuing to give theirfeedback, like if they think of
it also, in the way, if theywere to take your job in a year,
what would they need to know?
Like, don't gatekeep, don'thold things back.
(23:47):
Teach them everything you know,depending on what level they're
at.
Sometimes I bring them intosome conflict, like you don't
have to use real names, but I'llsay all right, I got an email
from a parent and here's whatthey said and you know, here's
what I thought.
And then I said this, and thenyou know, bringing them along
for the ride of like this is howI'm going to do it.
Conflict resolution withparents go, if you sit in this
(24:11):
seat, this is how you wouldhandle it and what you need to
know.
So don't isolate them from thereal job by like, well, he's
just the guy who sets up chairs,but we're constantly developing
people in ministry and tryingto bring out their best, because
chances are there's so muchmore in them that they don't
realize and that you don'trealize.
(24:33):
But it's a process that isconstantly moving.
So if you feel like you're inthat place of stagnation with
your leaders, like, yeah, we'reall just chilling.
We're good.
That's going to get stalepretty quick, you know.
So who can you be challenging?
Who can you be challenging?
Where can you help people comealive and realize some things
(25:00):
about themselves that maybethat's why God put them on your
team, because he wanted you toexcavate those things out of
people?
You know, like that parablewhere it's like the master goes
away and like the whole idea isdon't hoard the gifts.
Multiply them right.
Be a good steward of what Godhas given you and, yeah, for us.
(25:20):
But also teaching people how todo that.
Like, hey, you've got gifts.
Like I want to see you usethese.
I want to see you grow in these.
I want to see these multiply.
I want to see these being usedfor the kingdom.
See you grow in these.
I want to see these multiply.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
I want to see these being used for the kingdom.
How can I help you do that?
And I don't think anybody likein their lane is unhappy you
know, like when you're guidingthem towards the things that
they're good at and helping themexcel in that.
I don't think most people wouldbe like I don't, like.
This isn't for me.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
Right.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
You know, it's usually the opposite.
When, like you're saying, I'mplanning games and it's not
going well, I don't have anygood ideas, I don't know how to
execute them, that's.
I don't think anyone's in thatsituation going this is awesome,
Right, so me, you know it'salways the opposite.
Yeah, totally.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
And and it's surprising what people like and
don't like.
You know, like I asked one ofmy leaders this week.
I'm like hey, can you do Bibledrills?
And they're like I love doingBible drills.
I'm like great, then you goLike I don't mind doing it, I'll
do it if I, if no one else will.
But they like, loved it andthey felt like this was their A
(26:24):
game for the week, and that'sawesome, you know.
And so, lastly, as the headpastor or as the head leader,
whatever your title is youshould be doing the brunt of the
work and the grunt work.
Brunt and grunt, okay, becauseI feel like my philosophy has
(26:48):
always been, with my leaders,you guys have free access.
What do you want to do?
Whatever's left over thatnobody wanted or nobody was
interested in, I'm happy to dothat.
Meaning, if they're teaching,they pick the topic they want.
I'll take what's left over.
(27:08):
If there's roles for theweekend, they can pick what they
want.
I'll take what's left over.
If there's roles for theweekend, they can pick what they
want.
I'll take what's left over,even when it comes to cleaning,
like I was scraping tape off theauditorium floor last week by
myself, which is fine Was ityour own tape.
Well, it was the ministry's tape.
We were playing a game and itwas like that's fine, they were
(27:30):
doing other things.
So, being willing to work hardas the ministry lead so that
other people can have thatmargin to sort of explore what
they want to do, you know, Ijust think as the ministry lead
you can afford them a reallycool opportunity Like, hey, you
pick first, you go, first youwhat looks good to you, I'll
(27:53):
take whatever's left.
Cause sometimes I think theylook to the leader like you tell
me, like what I have to do.
And then you do and I'm like no,what role do you want?
What sounds good to you, whatsounds exciting, that you want
to try?
I'll support you in that andthen I'll pick up the rest.
You know, and it's probably alot of stuff they don't even
(28:13):
ever see, but it's just like Iwant you to feel like you're in
your sweet spot and I'll do therest and I don't really care
because my goal is not for meanymore.
It's not like well, what do Iwant to do in?
Speaker 2 (28:30):
ministry.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
My goal is to look at my team and say my goal is not
for Kristen to bring out thebest in her, but to bring out
the best in you guys, so that weare the best team.
And I got a great complimentfrom one of them the other day
and she said, like I always feelso proud to tell people I'm on
your team, and I was like wow,that means a lot because,
(28:53):
especially for a middle schoolministry- what do you mean?
Speaker 2 (28:56):
It's like the shunned group of the church.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Well, I think, because I let them, like my team
, my staff.
I'm like, yeah, what do youguys want to do?
What are you good at?
I'm not going to be like, well,I'm in charge, you're going to
do exactly what I say, and thenmaybe I'll let you try other
things.
It's like, all right, I'm goingto sit in the back seat, I'm
going to let you guys figure outwhat you want to do and then
(29:24):
I'll jump in when it's needed,because I want them to feel like
, okay, we're really doing this.
We're not Kirsten's littleminions, but it's like we have,
say, we can do real ministry.
And that's bringing outsomeone's best of giving away
(29:44):
leadership, giving away control,helping them discover their
gifts, giving them thatcontinual feedback, helping them
to be developed into the bestversion of themselves.
And the truth is, when you dothat, your whole entire team
wins.
I think some students yeah, Imean, I think sometimes leaders
are afraid to do that becausethey don't want to lose their
(30:07):
grip and their control overtheir ministry.
But the interesting thing is,the more you give away, the
healthier it becomes, becauseshared leadership is so much
more vibrant than one person atthe top and everyone in their
little cult following what theysay to do.
(30:28):
It's like.
That's not dynamic, that's notvibrant, that's not life-giving,
that's not contagious.
You know, it's just boring tobe the minion.
For the pastor it's like, yay,like.
But if the pastor is like, oh,you get on my team and I'm going
to shine you up and I'm goingto like, make you into the best
(30:50):
version of yourself and,truthfully, that is the goal.
Like anyone who joins your team,it's like, not like.
Well, what do you have to offerme?
What do you bring to the tablefor my team?
It's more.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
Ask not what I can do for the youth ministry, ask
what the youth ministry can do.
Wait, no, something like that.
It had potential Too bad sadbut chat gbt, rewrite that make
it make sense who are youwithout your chat, gbt?
Speaker 1 (31:19):
look at this but your goal is you join my team and
you will leave here far betterthan when you came in, not just
well, you're allowed to help memake my ministry better.
It's like no, I'm going to showyou like your unlocked
potential and it's just again.
(31:42):
The whole thing trickles downand you create leaders who are
happy to be there, leaders whofeel like a sense of ownership
and excitement, and theircreativity is unleashed because
they know it can be, and theycome up with ideas and they
execute ideas and you are thereto be, cheering them on,
(32:06):
supporting them and constantlyopening doors for them.
That is, to me, the sweet spotof leadership and the sweet spot
of ministry.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
honestly, yeah, if you guys want to check out
another episode we did to kindof further the conversation, we
did one all about how to createa dream team of volunteers, so
make sure you check that out.
All right, the question of theday this week is what is
something you were like 100%certain of, only to find out
later that you were wrong?
Speaker 1 (32:36):
I don't know if we've already answered this, but I
thought narwhals weren't real.
Speaker 2 (32:40):
We talked about the narwhal tooth.
Speaker 1 (32:43):
That was in the house recently, oh, in the tooth
house, the tooth house.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
It was the dentist.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
Yeah, I thought they were mythological creatures like
unicorns of the sea.
I had no idea that was real.
I thought it was just.
You know, like a does seem like, but they're real.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
And I.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
I think I even told, like our children like that, no,
no, those aren't real.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
It's just like the unicorn of the sea, yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
But lo and behold, they are real and they are
fascinating they are fast, but Iwas convinced, like of course
they don't exist.
I think a lot of people thinkthat I've heard other people say
that before, like I thoughtunicorn or I thought narwhals
were totally made up yeah, everytime I hear you or myself say
(33:33):
narwhal, I feel like we'resaying it wrong, but I think
that is how you say it.
Well, I used to think it wascalled a narwhal.
It wouldn't make more sense.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
A uniwhale.
I one time bet on this and lost.
But someone said that the movieGoonies from way back when had
an octopus in it and like, andit was taken out of the movie
like a deleted scene and I'mlike what?
There's no way there was anoctopus in Goonies.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
And lo and behold, and there's a deleted scene and
it's really, and when you watchit, look at, it's probably on
YouTube, I'm sure.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
Is it gross?
Speaker 2 (34:14):
It's just so unrealistic and it was like a
really weird thing to add in it.
Like sometimes you see stuffthat made the cutting room floor
in movies.
You're like, yeah, thatabsolutely should have been on
the cutting room floor and thespecial effects were really
cheesy and just weird.
Well, yeah, that movie came outin the 90s no, 80s, 80s are you
(34:37):
sure?
Speaker 1 (34:37):
okay, well, no offense, because I know god's
creatures are all his creatures,but octopuses are gross octopi,
octopi well this was like afake, not cgi.
Speaker 2 (34:50):
It was like a.
What do you call it?
Muppet, yeah, or something thatthey made it a marionette.
I couldn't, okay.
There's one part.
I couldn't tell if this wassped up to make look ridiculous,
but it was like it was flappingits tentacles really fast all
right, we're just gonna have toyoutube it.
Speaker 1 (35:07):
Yeah, it's pretty.
Speaker 2 (35:08):
It's pretty good to watch, but you could see why it
was not in there put in thecomments.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
Pretty good to watch.
Speaker 2 (35:12):
Yeah, it is pretty funny to watch.
It's pretty good to watch, butyou could see why it was not in
there, put in the comments.
Pretty good to watch.
Yeah, it is pretty funny towatch.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
It's pretty good to watch, it's pretty great to
watch put in the commentssection below.
Speaker 2 (35:20):
Is there anything you were ever 100% certain of, only
to find out later that you werewrong?
All right, let's do a communitycomment of the day.
This comes from our good friendsammy verbis, oh, who says
great video.
Thanks for reinforcing what mypassion is Dang.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
Sammy's a good guy.
Speaker 2 (35:36):
Sammy is a good guy.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
Hello Sammy, hello Sammy, hello.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
Sammy.
Thank you guys for watching andlistening and we'll see you
next time.
Speaker 1 (35:44):
If someone would have told me do these five things
and you'll never.
Speaker 2 (35:48):
Take two.
So this, maybe that is time topanic you're looking at me all
weird.
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