June 12, 2025 • 36 mins
Are you ready to grow the size and health of your youth ministry? Check out
GrowYourYouthMinistry.com *** What gets a student through your youth group doors? And what keeps them coming back to youth ministry every week? These questions lie at the heart of building an effective, thriving student ministry.
You might be successful at creating a youth ministry that students come and check out, but a revolving door of visitors isn't the goal. You want them to stay! So how do we create an environment that students can find something worth staying for, something they can't get anywhere else? In this episode, we will be discussing some of the reasons students initially show up to youth group, but more importantly, we talk about changes you can make in your youth ministry to keep them coming back.
Whether you're struggling to get students through the youth group doors or wondering how to deepen their commitment, these insights will help you build student ministry that matters for the long haul.
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We love hearing from you all and we do our best to provide powerful and insightful youth ministry content on a weekly basis to be that coach and mentor you may not have, but desperately need.
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You may also enjoy these episodes:
(#024) Raising Up Leaders in Student Ministry - How to Duplicate Yourself!!!
(#244) How to Retain Your Youth Ministry Volunteers for Years!
(#219) LISTEN TO THIS If You Want Consistent Youth Ministry Attendance!
(#142 Is Your Youth Group Struggling to Connect? 5 Tips that WORK!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Why do students initially come to your youth
group and then why do they stay?
These are the questions we'regoing to be answering on today's
episode.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Welcome to the Ministry Coach Podcast, where we
give you weekly tips andtactics to help you fast-track
the growth and health of youryouth ministry.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
My name is Jeff Laskola and this is Kristen
Laskola and today we're going totalk about okay, students are
coming Great.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
They're there, here they are, they make it.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
But how can we get them to stay?
or why are the ones who arestaying staying?
And I don't know if you've everheard this, but like when
people say, why are thingsworking, why are you successful,
why are things growing, and alot of times people don't know
the reason.
I was that way for a long time.
Our youth ministry startedgrowing and people would ask
(00:57):
like, wow, how'd you grow youryouth ministry?
I'm like I don't know what 800things I did was the right thing
.
You know, I tried a lot ofthings.
I did a lot of things.
I just kept going, and so todaywe're going to talk about
things that I've learned, thatare things that keep students
plugged in, and I can't takecredit for all this content.
(01:20):
It was actually part of ameeting I was in last week with
an incredible former youthpastor named Travis Seibert and
he was talking about this ideaof like why do students come and
why do students stay, and I waswriting some notes and I was
like, yeah, like this is likegold and I thought our listeners
(01:40):
would probably like to get aglimpse of maybe what we were
talking about at our meetingthis week and I found it super
helpful and it was somethingthat I was like I could see, you
know, first year, second year,third year, youth pastor me
being like.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
What about fourth year?
You didn't say anything aboutfourth year.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
By fourth year I was a professional.
I didn't need any help, justkidding, I just got sick of
naming numbers.
So that's why Fourth year.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Fifth, year sixth year.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Oh, there you go.
Dot dot, dot.
Yeah, infinity symbol, becauseI will do this forever, okay.
So I guess the first questionis why are students coming to
your youth group?
Now listen to the way thatquestion is phrased.
It's not why should people come?
(02:33):
There's no should.
Just why do they come?
What gets a let's just gomedian age?
What gets a 12 or 13 year oldin the door?
And so we started listingthings that we thought were real
answers, warning none of thesesound churchy or spiritual,
because what 12 year old is?
(02:53):
Ok?
There's a few.
What percentage of 12 year oldsis sitting home on a Wednesday
night going where could I findreally meaningful life worship
right now.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
That's not true.
My youth group is full ofstudents that say that every
week.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
You're so lucky Now they will eventually say that
and we're getting to that, butI'm talking about what gets them
in the door.
So is a student Googling likechurches in my area with
meaningful live worship orchurches in my area that have
age relevant topics sermon?
Speaker 2 (03:28):
discussions, and what do their Yelp reviews say about
them?
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Yeah, like that is probably not what is getting
them in the door initially.
So we have to just be realisticabout that and think, okay,
what actually does get a 12 or13 year old up off the couch or
make sure they finish theirhomework in time?
Begging their parents to takethem out on a school night,
drive them, pick them up, dropthem off carpool, whatever
(03:52):
they're doing, what gives themthe motivation?
Like, I got to be there.
And so here's some answers.
We came up with Friends Duh.
They want to be where theirfriends are Fun.
Of course they want to.
Students, junior hiresespecially want to have fun.
If they're going to like, putdown fortnight or Mario cart and
(04:13):
actually go to your building todo something, it's got to be
more fun than Minecraft, right?
Campus ministry was put outthere as a reason because kids
have met a youth pastor at acampus and they've made a
connection and they've gotten apersonal invitation to a youth
group.
So campus ministry is a bigthing.
(04:35):
I said parents talking.
I think that parents are alwayslooking for high recommendation
kid activities in theircommunity.
I know I am.
I'm very likely to sign my kidup for something because someone
I trust said oh my gosh, wetried this camp last year and it
was so cool.
(04:55):
Like I'll send you the linkThen me just like cold, like
Google search showing up at somechurch we have no connection
with.
So parents talking gets peoplein the door.
Food definitely, like I havekids that I know only come for
the treats and the hot chocolateand donuts and whatnot.
(05:18):
I mean this one is kind ofspiritual but I would say
changed lives, like they've seena change in their friends and
they're like what's going onwith you and it's like hey, you
should just come, just come andsee.
You know we've talked aboutthat line with kids before.
Like come and see.
And then girls or boys, youknow like junior hires don't
(05:41):
have a lot of opportunityoutside of like school to hang
out with their crush.
You know a guy or a girl whothey're interested in and if
they know their crush is goingto be there or that group of
boys or those girls, they'llprobably try to make sure their
parents take them.
This was a real answer from oneof the youth pastors in the room
(06:02):
.
He's a brand new youth pastorand he used to be one of the
youth pastors in the room.
He's a brand new youth pastorand he used to be one of my
students in my youth ministryand then he was my intern when
he was a little older and nowhe's a youth pastor at one of
our campuses.
You want to know what hisanswer was Video games.
He said, kristen, the reason Icame to youth group was because
(06:22):
you guys had video games.
And actually he got invited bya friend who was actually a
youth pastor also and they wereon the same baseball team and he
invited him and he liked it.
But he said he really stayedbecause of the video games.
So I was like, okay, whatever,I don't think that's why you
stayed, but that's what got youin the door.
And so I think having an honestlook and saying let's be
(06:46):
realistic about what gets a 12or 13 year old in the door, and
we can't over-spiritualize thisstep, because there's a saying
that students often need tobelong before they believe.
So if we're asking anon-Christian to be motivated by
deep small group discussionsand meaningful live worship and
(07:08):
impactful age relevant sermons,I think we've aimed at the wrong
target.
Not that we're not like, ofcourse we want to reach
Christians as well, but we willhave all that stuff.
I don't have to convince aChristian usually to come to
church, you know, but somebodywho's just kind of getting their
feet wet and you know, likewhat is this thing about?
(07:31):
And I've heard of Jesus or myfriends go to this thing on
Tuesdays.
I don't know really what it'sabout, but I'm interested and
I'm willing.
What can I do to get them inthe door Now?
Do you have something in youryouth group, in your church,
that is irresistible to the agegroup you're trying to reach?
(07:52):
Is there something that isgoing to draw them in?
Think of your reputation.
Do I have a good reputationoutside the church?
Would parents recommend myyouth group to another parent?
Would they be like, oh, we likeit, but I can't bring my
friends because it's weird, youknow?
Or is it like oh, I thinkanyone in my neighborhood or
(08:12):
baseball team would love this.
In fact, I'll get a wholecarload of kids after school and
bring them, which I love whenparents do that.
When students show up, is thereenough to capture their
interest and attention?
You know, like we were talkingabout the food and the fun and
opportunities for games andconnection and all of that do
(08:33):
are we speaking their language?
And we've talked a lot aboutthat on this podcast.
So then we go a step furtherand say, all right, if we are
good at capturing them,capturing their interest,
getting them through the doorwe're good at capturing them.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
I know that didn't sound right.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
I was hoping we could just move past that immaturity,
that you would know what Imeant, you thought wrong.
I should know by now because Iwork with junior hires.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
And you're married to one.
Yeah, that was awkward too.
Strike that from the record.
This is getting out of hand.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
So why do they stay right?
Because we can have all thevideo games and cotton candy in
the world, but it's emptycalories, right?
No pun intended, it's just not.
It's enough to be like, hey, I'mwilling to give this thing a
try At least it's not someboring snooze fest that I'm
giving up, you know video gamesfor, but it's like, okay, that's
(09:35):
not gonna be.
That's not youth ministry.
You know, I love Josh Griffin's, his old blog More Than
Dodgeball, because it's like, ofcourse we're going to play
dodgeball, but what is going toget someone to stay?
It has to be more than that.
We aren't just recreationalleaders or whatever ymca boys
(09:55):
and girls club.
So why do students stay?
And then we ask ourselves thequestions am I giving them
opportunities to see somethingthat really makes them stick
around?
You know so, for example, Imean, you can't discount the
Holy Spirit, right?
Our senior pastor asked areally good question about 100
(10:17):
times.
He asks us this all the time.
He says if the Holy Spirit wereto leave your ministry tomorrow
, how long would it take you tonotice?
And he goes.
I remember the first timesomebody asked me that question
and I just was like never, like.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
I would never notice.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Because he was like, I was so gift-oriented I could
teach.
You know most pastors incircles and I could like it was
my gifting that was keeping thisministry afloat.
It wasn't the power of the HolySpirit.
You know most pastors incircles and I could like it was
my gifting that was keeping thisministry afloat.
It wasn't the power of the HolySpirit, you know.
And I think that's a reallyinteresting question and I've
never really known how to answerit because I'm like well, the
Holy Spirit couldn't leavebecause the Holy Spirit's
(10:56):
present in me.
So like, so I guess what he'ssaying maybe is more of like,
are we unleashing the power ofthe Holy Spirit, giving room and
opportunity for the Holy Spiritto move in the lives of our
kids through prayer andconviction and worship and
accountability and repentance?
(11:17):
Like, are we giving room forthe Holy Spirit to speak?
And that's probably what hemeant, holy Spirit to speak, and
that's probably what he meant.
But just, I guess another wayto put it or a great question to
ask yourselves is in a givenweek, how much do we pursue or
rely on the Holy Spirit to doministry, or are we like great,
turn on the Nintendo switch,turn on the lights, turn on the
(11:39):
foggers, get the pizza cue, themusic cue dodgeball.
We've got youth group.
Get the pizza cue, the musiccue dodgeball, we've got youth
group.
You know which?
I'm for all those things.
However, it's not enough.
So, in the midst of that, are wealso saying, okay, holy Spirit,
you've got to show up tonight,and do we bathe our youth
(12:00):
ministry in prayer?
Are we praying for our students, their families, their small
group leaders?
Are we inviting the Holy Spiritin?
Are we teaching our studentshow to call on the Holy Spirit
and rely on Jesus, you know?
Or is it just this very hypeevent and everyone gets a little
Bible and then we go home,which is not enough, you know,
(12:21):
and I've seen youth groups likethat kind of burn out.
You know it was like everyonekind of came because it was cool
but there was nothing here tokeep me, you know.
So the Holy Spirit.
And then spiritual growth.
So our students are looking tohave us disciple them and go
from where they are to wherethey need to be.
(12:41):
Do they have opportunities togrow spiritually?
So that would be through,usually their small group leader
really challenging them with.
You know, small groups thatcreate an atmosphere of maybe
vulnerability where we can openup.
Are we diving into the word?
Or is it all just behaviormanagement in small groups,
(13:03):
which I tell you some weeksthat's what it feels like.
It's just like all I did wastell you guys to be quiet, you
know, like the entire time andjust teach you how to be like
civil human beings who raisetheir hand or don't talk over
each other, you know, orwhatever.
I'm leading a sixth grade girlsmall group right now because
we're in the middle of promotionand it's like oh my gosh, just
(13:25):
this girl's crying because hercat died and you're over here
with your side conversation,like.
So, anyways, like creating roomfor spiritual growth, and do we
have a way to measure that?
You know, I think that's areally difficult question to
answer as a youth pastor,someone in ministry yeah, how
the heck do you measurespiritual growth?
Well, I mean, we can't quantifyit completely, but there's some
(13:50):
outward signals that we couldbe looking for Consistency,
character change, generosity,students giving of their time,
their money doesn't mean a wholelot at this age, so I think
it's more their time and theircharacter, like, are you willing
to help someone who does nothelp you?
You know, like, well, thissixth grader is brand new and
(14:15):
doesn't have a team and you haveall your friends over here,
Generosity is teaching them.
hey, you go after that kid andyou make sure that they feel
loved and included, Because if Ijust tell junior hires to tithe
their money, they're like, oh,it's my parents anyways.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
I don't really care, and I've already spent it at the
snack shack, so who cares?
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Yeah, I mean, it's not like they're budgeting and
their mortgage and oh, this isgoing to really hurt to give
this 10 like.
So you have to teach them howto be generous with themselves.
That's how I've found it to bemost effective in this age.
Another signal is serving, youknow, being willing to be on a
serving team or a discipleshipteam and do the bible studies
(14:54):
that go along with that, and askgood questions.
Accountability, like are theywilling to be vulnerable and
share and allow you or theirleaders to pray with them and
for them?
Those are all signs thatspiritual growth is happening
and not that students are goingto change overnight.
But I'd like to see atrajectory of like you're
(15:17):
getting it, you know, and theHoly Spirit is forming your
character and shaping it as wewalk through some of this stuff
together.
So spiritual growth and peoplewill stay if they feel like man.
I can look back at the last sixmonths and see I'm so different
now than I was six months agoin terms of my understanding, my
(15:39):
relationship with God, myintimacy with the Holy Spirit.
So stuff like that where we areconstantly teaching them.
And then I think something elsethat keeps them is just the
truth in a world where it was sofunny.
Today we were buying bananas orsomething at the grocery store
and our 12 year old daughter sawa national inquire headline and
(16:01):
she repeated it to me.
She goes did you know that?
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
And I'm like what?
Where did you see that?
And she goes it's on thatnewspaper.
I go oh, that's a nationalinquire said nothing they say is
real.
I at least I don't think so.
I mean, I remember it justbeing a big fabricated headline
grabber.
It was like clickbait beforethere was clickbait.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
You know what I?
Speaker 1 (16:22):
mean I don't know how legally they keep getting away
with this.
But she goes wait, what do youmean?
It's not true.
I was like, well, I don't know,it's just goofy stuff.
They try to get you sucked in.
But it's all just fluff fluff.
And she was so confused, likehow are you allowed to just
publish that which I'm?
I'm still confused.
So in a world where there'sstill national inquirer or weird
(16:45):
people on YouTube, just uh, oh,where are the weird?
People on YouTube.
Uh, just saying whatever youlike and subscribe or like
social media accounts wherepeople are like just saying
their expert opinion oneverything you know.
Truth is just so hard to comeby.
So I love being able to tellour students like hey, there's
(17:10):
differing opinions on all kindsof things in our world.
There's a lot of things we cannever know.
The truth on A lot of this stuffis a matter of opinion and
doesn't actually even matter.
However, there is somethingthat will never change, and I'm
going to tell you the truth that, no matter what, I know this is
true and we can cling to thisfrom now into the rest of our
lives.
And it's a truth that is sodynamic that every time you come
(17:34):
to church, every time you're ina small group, every time
you're worshiping, if you'reseeking the Holy Spirit, he's
going to keep revealing more andmore truth to you.
I mean, I've been a Christiansince I was four years old and I
went to a worship night theother night and I was furiously
writing, like all this stuff,that I felt like God was telling
me.
It's like we have the truth andthat's something that keeps
(17:59):
students coming back for more oflike what is this world?
Is it just violent and weirdand is everyone just a liar?
Is nothing real anymore.
You know, everything you see onsocial media is AI enhanced or a
filter and it's like what'sreal and that's what we have to
offer students giving them truththat changes lives and
(18:20):
eternities.
The world cannot compete withthat.
So make sure you are just.
I always say our youth group isso fun and then I hose you with
the truth and I love thatdichotomy of like party on
Tuesday, woohoo, having a goodtime, and then that sobering
moment of just like hitting themso hard that those gut punch
(18:41):
moments of this is the gospelyou know Um so, anyways, it's
going to be interesting, though,seeing how these newer
generations growing up with AI,with internet, social media, all
these things, how they perceivetruth.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Like I'm just thinking out loud, um, but I
feel like if you were, if youwere around, if you were on this
earth prior to a lot of thatstuff, you had a sense of
discernment, like figuring outis this real or not, you know,
and kind of researching it orwhatever where.
(19:17):
And then, with the advent ofthe internet and information
becoming more available, ithelped.
That, I feel like.
Originally, yeah, and then itgot inundated.
Now it got out of hand with yeah, with, this is no longer true,
and I feel like even researching, you can't even tell exactly
like remember when all thoseufos were everywhere, right I
still don't know.
I don't know either.
(19:38):
And how can we just on fromthat?
Speaker 1 (19:39):
How can we ever know the truth.
Even if you like, are thesereal?
It doesn't matter.
A million articles will come uptelling you all kinds of
different things.
Where's the authority?
And that's where we can pointthem to scripture.
It's like who is the authority?
I mean these people say theUFOs are real.
These people don't.
These people say they're justthe military.
These people say they're hidingsomething, Right, and it's like
(20:01):
who do I trust?
Where do I like?
Speaker 2 (20:04):
So I give up my point , or my thought is I wonder if
these people will grow up reallysearching for the truth or if
they will just accept a worldwhere nothing is true.
Oh, that's scary.
It is scary, and so you wouldhope that they would, you know,
kind of come to the conclusionslike, well, there is truth,
there is fiction, and then thereis fact, and so it's like what
(20:27):
is true.
And so my hope, my prayer, isthat these younger, you know
generations would, would seekthat out totally honestly, but I
don't know.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
Pointing them in the direction of exactly what you're
just saying is like guys, wecan know the truth.
I can't know the truth aboutUFOs and government conspiracies
, but I can know the truth aboutwhy we're here, what our
purpose is, who God is, what hispurpose for us is, where we're
going, what the future is Like.
(20:57):
We can know that stuff wearen't just floating through
space with like a bunch ofconspiracies and then we die.
It's like, no, there's weirdpeople saying all kinds of stuff
, but there is an anchoringtruth and they based on what
you're saying.
I think we need that now morethan ever.
Right?
So you know, people do staybecause of fun, like that gets
(21:20):
them in the door.
I think you need to beconsistently fun.
I'm not going to spend a lot oftime on that, because I feel
like I talk about that all thetime.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
You guys should know that by now tonight changed
lives.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
purpose, looking forward to something these are
all reasons people stay.
I love the idea of lookingforward to something.
(21:52):
This is a more of aprogrammatic element.
We've been talking about bigideas and spiritual ideas, but
this is more of a programelement of like we do Tuesdays,
fairly similarly every singleweek, we do our weekend service.
We follow kind of a formula.
However, I feel like there'salways something cool on the
horizon.
We're pushing and lookingforward to like oh, we have a
beach day coming up, or we haveour whitewater rafting trip
(22:14):
coming up.
We do something in the summercalled super chaos where, since
the kids are out of school, wepush it back.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
uh, we go an extra hour for a youth group.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
So instead of ending at 8 30, we end at 9 30 and we
play a bunch of extra games andget cotton candy or root beer
floats, whatever.
So we're all theall-overnighter the battle.
We're always kind of timingthese things so we're not in
this rut that there's somethingcool to continually look forward
to.
And I don't know about you, butthat's almost like a mental
(22:46):
saving grace for me.
My friends and I talk about thisa lot like with the monotony of
so we'll put it in context of astudent, with the monotony of
school sports game, churchhomework, chores, school sports.
It's just this like such apredictable pattern and I, my
friends and I always talk aboutwe need something to look
(23:07):
forward to Like.
So, yeah, I'm going about mynormal daily routine week dishes
, dinner, homework, this butthen I know Thursday I'm going
on a bike ride and going to areally yummy restaurant and I'm
going to get a matcha and I'm soexcited, you know, like there's
going to be something on thehorizon that kind of gets me
(23:28):
like yeah, our program is coolevery single week.
But here's also what, together,collectively, we are looking
(23:49):
forward to this and you want tobe a part of it, because that's
a bonding experience and thoserelationships are what keep
people so well, you'd hope yourmidweek program or your Sunday
morning program would besomething to look forward to in
and of itself, right?
Absolutely it should be, I agreewith that.
And then you know they're smallgroups, so let's kind of camp
on here now for the rest of ourtime, because you know all those
(24:12):
reasons that students come thatwe were talking about before
and all the reasons studentsstay, those are absolutely
powerless without a team ofleaders.
I would say youth groups growbecause they have a dynamic,
(24:33):
present, consistent group ofleaders.
I think a youth pastor is inthe worst place possible for
their ministry as a whole andfor them ministry like
personally, like their ownspiritual, mental leadership
health, when they're doing it bythemselves.
There is literally I can saythis very confidently no way to
(24:59):
grow without leaders.
So what does that mean for youas a youth pastor is?
You know Travis was talkingabout this at our meeting.
He was saying that might verymuch challenge how you schedule
your time this week.
So if you have no leaders andyou are doing ministry all by
(25:21):
yourself, you might as well havea timer over your head counting
down, because you will quit,you will burn out and the
ministry will not grow.
So I feel like, before theministry goes kaput, you will go
kaput.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
You knowut.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
Does everyone know what kaput means?
Speaker 2 (25:44):
If not, ask AI, as I was saying before.
The internet you could look upkaput and they would tell you.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
But now, I mean, anyone can say anything.
So who knows if we'll ever getto the bottom of that.
So for your time management,you have got to drop everything
and go get a leadership teamaround you at least one other
person, a running mate, a couplelead, I mean, whatever it is.
You cannot do this alone.
(26:11):
And how you spend your week,then, if you do have those
leaders, should be you nowduplicating yourself in the
leaders around you, because yourreach is so limited, your
energy is so finite.
But if you had like, if youcould push, multiply, like you
(26:32):
multiplied by 10 and you had,well, now, 11 of you yeah, 11 of
you running around.
Imagine the breadth of ministrythat you have now.
Hey, friend, I just wanted tointerrupt this episode for a
(26:53):
second to let you know about anawesome opportunity for you and
your youth ministry.
So last year we launched ourcourse and coaching program
called Youth Ministry GrowthAccelerator and the response has
been amazing.
So we've helped tons of youthpastors grow the size and health
of their youth ministry and wewant to invite you to be a part
(27:13):
of that as well, because maybeyou're just sort of feeling
stuck in a rut, maybe you don'tknow what to do next?
Maybe you just have a vagueplan in your mind of what you're
doing and you want some realhelp to get you from where you
are to where you want to go.
So if that sounds likesomething you've been looking
for, go togrowyouryouthministrycom and
check it out for more details.
(27:35):
All right, let's get back to theepisode.
You want to create a leadershipteam, and they don't have to be
like clones of you, but theyneed to think like you about
ministry, and then they do ittheir own way if that makes
sense.
So, for example we loveexamples, right?
I had a parent orientationmeeting about four weeks ago and
(27:56):
, as always, very low, showingNot a lot of parents, but the
ones who came were delightful.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
To pause for a second .
I feel like that's kind of agood thing in a sense.
I think parents are like wetrust you, we know it's good,
we're going to send our kids, wedon't need to get the shmule
Good, Jeffiel.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
I like that perspective.
That is so helpful becausethey're all showing up.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
They might be going.
Who are you?
What is this?
What's going on?
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (28:24):
I had a handful of parents come and so after the
meeting, you know, I was tryingto answer some questions because
you know we have a camp comingup and I had some parents you
know well, it's really far awayand blah, blah, blah, and we
were chit chatting and I wasgiving them flyers, while there
was another mom who had come infor the first time and she was
(28:45):
up in the lobby and I didn't getto her in time and I panicked
and I was like oh, no, like ah,and she had brought a friend.
And then, like now it's likethese two moms kind of like
what's going on?
Like who do we talk to?
And my worship leader, hannah,intercepts these two moms.
This is not her job,necessarily, but she knew the
(29:08):
value of what, how we feel aboutparents and reaching out in
ministry and all of that, andreaching out in ministry and all
of that, and she introducedherself and helped them get
situated, answered theirquestions.
She went up to them.
They weren't like, excuse me,who's in charge here?
She intercepted them with asmile and was like hi, I'm
(29:29):
Hannah.
Like you know, is this yourfirst night.
Oh, what are your kids names,you know, and got them all
registered ready to go, and itwas so beautiful.
I was so thankful for her andactually it meant so much.
One of the moms texted me at theend of the night and she said
wow, we were able to meet Hannahtonight.
She was so friendly, so kind.
(29:50):
You have such a great team,you're.
You're such a good leader.
Thank you so much.
Like I got all this credit forHannah.
You know, being so like she waslike my duplicate, like where I
couldn't be.
She filled in the gap andthat's just.
I mean I have another leader,heidi, who does that all the
time.
I see her walking around withnew parents and showing them all
(30:12):
over the place.
And our security guy, even JP,he'll go and like, hey, like,
can I help you?
Or oh, yeah, this is where wemeet and here's how pickup works
.
And so what you want is thatproximity to you, that vision,
sharing with you, and thatusually comes bottom line Again,
ministry, one-on-one comes downto your relationship with your
(30:36):
leaders.
It's very, very rarely let'shave a meeting about how to
welcome parents.
You know a lot of it is justthis constant proximity to you.
They see you, they watch you,the conversations that you're
having, and it doesn't mean youcan't have a meeting about it.
You know I have a meetingbefore youth group every Tuesday
(30:59):
night for just a quick 15minutes and you could just drip
and stuff like that, like heyguys, we're expecting a lot of
new families tonight.
Like, be on the lookout.
Like if you see a parent thatlooks confused, don't wait for
them to come to you, justapproach them right away and you
can radio me or come find me ifyou can't answer their
questions.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
But please right in front of it.
I don't know the answer to that, kristin please go.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
No, they go.
Hey, kristin, I have a parenthere who wants to talk to you.
We're up in the lobby and I'mlike, oh yep, I'll be right
there, but most of the time theycan do it on their own.
Usually when they call me, it'sbecause the parent has an issue
with something.
Let me speak to your manager,yeah.
Not with us but, like you know,there's all kinds of stuff.
You guys know that.
So, anyways, it's like this.
(31:47):
We can only grow like our.
Our potential growth isseriously so wrapped up in this
team of leaders.
Your reach and your energy isso finite, but when you can pour
that in and multiply that by 10, 15, 20, 25, every ministry is
(32:11):
better with more leaders andit's your job as the leader to
make sure they know how to carryout your vision of ministry.
Again, not that it's like youplay this recording of me saying
hello, welcome to our ministry,like it doesn't they don't have
to parrot you but it's like ashared vision that you're
(32:35):
teaching them over and over andover again and celebrating those
wins with them of like.
That was incredible.
Thank you guys so much formaking these parents feel
welcome and that is how we growLike.
I mean honestly that I don'tthink that there's any other way
.
When students come in the door,why are they staying?
(32:55):
Because they were known, theywere loved, they were cared for
by a leader and if you only havefour kids, that still doesn't
mean you don't need help andanother leader and another
presence and a running mate.
The worst position in ministryis alone.
That is the worst.
(33:15):
Well, I guess the worstposition would be you have a
running mate and they're badnews.
But, I mean, let's just assumethat they are, you know good,
and I mean I can't think ofanother top priority like other
than get the team around you ifyou want to reach these kids.
(33:36):
You know, and sometimes leadersjust hold leadership like
they're like well, I can do it,you know.
It's like of course you can.
But remember we were talkinglast week there's a big
difference between can andshould.
Sometimes I feel like that isthe most important part of my
job other than preaching thegospel to students is making
(33:59):
sure I have a lot of leaders sothat message can get out in a
variety of ways through thecontext of a relationship.
So that is why people day Great, great podcast episode.
Good job.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
Thanks for being here , great on the heels of the
episode we did last week, whichis how to retain your volunteers
because you wanted to retainstudents.
You also want to retainvolunteers.
We actually also did a episodeabout how to duplicate yourself,
which goes right in line withwhat you're talking about.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
Do you wish there were two of me?
Would that be so much fun.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
A lot to handle, let me tell you.
So make sure you check outthose episodes.
We'll link them in thedescription below, and right now
we're going to do a communitycomment of the day.
This comes from Tom Collins,who says Isn't that a famous
name?
Speaker 1 (34:50):
Sure Tom Collins A famous person listens to our
podcast.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
Woo, a famous person, listens to our podcast.
We tom writes.
I have been helping with ouryouth group at our church and
your ideas and advice havealmost doubled our attendance.
On wednesdays I came here tolet you know.
For some reason, apple podcastapp will not play your podcast I
wanted to have you playingwhile I'm working, but it won't
play on the app.
Thank you for everything youshare.
(35:21):
Update.
Tom wrote back and said it wasthe VPN issue.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
All is well.
Okay, we did it guys.
Thank you, Tom.
See how we created acliffhanging moment, and then we
solved it just like that.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
Tom solved it, Tom.
Thank you.
Tom Appreciate that.
We thank you guys for watchingand listening and we'll see you
next time.
Speaker 1 (35:44):
Why do students come to your?
Why do?
Why do students come to youryouth ministry?
Why do students come to youryouth ministry initially?
Why do students initially cometo your youth ministry and why
do they stay?
These are questions that we'reanswering on today's episode.
Why do students initially come to your youth
group and then why do they stay?
These are the questions we'regoing to be answering on today's
episode.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Welcome to the Ministry Coach Podcast, where we
give you weekly tips andtactics to help you fast-track
the growth and health of youryouth ministry.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
My name is Jeff Laskola and this is Kristen
Laskola and today we're going totalk about okay, students are
coming Great.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
They're there, here they are, they make it.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
But how can we get them to stay?
or why are the ones who arestaying staying?
And I don't know if you've everheard this, but like when
people say, why are thingsworking, why are you successful,
why are things growing, and alot of times people don't know
the reason.
I was that way for a long time.
Our youth ministry startedgrowing and people would ask
(00:57):
like, wow, how'd you grow youryouth ministry?
I'm like I don't know what 800things I did was the right thing
.
You know, I tried a lot ofthings.
I did a lot of things.
I just kept going, and so todaywe're going to talk about
things that I've learned, thatare things that keep students
plugged in, and I can't takecredit for all this content.
(01:20):
It was actually part of ameeting I was in last week with
an incredible former youthpastor named Travis Seibert and
he was talking about this ideaof like why do students come and
why do students stay, and I waswriting some notes and I was
like, yeah, like this is likegold and I thought our listeners
(01:40):
would probably like to get aglimpse of maybe what we were
talking about at our meetingthis week and I found it super
helpful and it was somethingthat I was like I could see, you
know, first year, second year,third year, youth pastor me
being like.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
What about fourth year?
You didn't say anything aboutfourth year.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
By fourth year I was a professional.
I didn't need any help, justkidding, I just got sick of
naming numbers.
So that's why Fourth year.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Fifth, year sixth year.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Oh, there you go.
Dot dot, dot.
Yeah, infinity symbol, becauseI will do this forever, okay.
So I guess the first questionis why are students coming to
your youth group?
Now listen to the way thatquestion is phrased.
It's not why should people come?
(02:33):
There's no should.
Just why do they come?
What gets a let's just gomedian age?
What gets a 12 or 13 year oldin the door?
And so we started listingthings that we thought were real
answers, warning none of thesesound churchy or spiritual,
because what 12 year old is?
(02:53):
Ok?
There's a few.
What percentage of 12 year oldsis sitting home on a Wednesday
night going where could I findreally meaningful life worship
right now.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
That's not true.
My youth group is full ofstudents that say that every
week.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
You're so lucky Now they will eventually say that
and we're getting to that, butI'm talking about what gets them
in the door.
So is a student Googling likechurches in my area with
meaningful live worship orchurches in my area that have
age relevant topics sermon?
Speaker 2 (03:28):
discussions, and what do their Yelp reviews say about
them?
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Yeah, like that is probably not what is getting
them in the door initially.
So we have to just be realisticabout that and think, okay,
what actually does get a 12 or13 year old up off the couch or
make sure they finish theirhomework in time?
Begging their parents to takethem out on a school night,
drive them, pick them up, dropthem off carpool, whatever
(03:52):
they're doing, what gives themthe motivation?
Like, I got to be there.
And so here's some answers.
We came up with Friends Duh.
They want to be where theirfriends are Fun.
Of course they want to.
Students, junior hiresespecially want to have fun.
If they're going to like, putdown fortnight or Mario cart and
(04:13):
actually go to your building todo something, it's got to be
more fun than Minecraft, right?
Campus ministry was put outthere as a reason because kids
have met a youth pastor at acampus and they've made a
connection and they've gotten apersonal invitation to a youth
group.
So campus ministry is a bigthing.
(04:35):
I said parents talking.
I think that parents are alwayslooking for high recommendation
kid activities in theircommunity.
I know I am.
I'm very likely to sign my kidup for something because someone
I trust said oh my gosh, wetried this camp last year and it
was so cool.
(04:55):
Like I'll send you the linkThen me just like cold, like
Google search showing up at somechurch we have no connection
with.
So parents talking gets peoplein the door.
Food definitely, like I havekids that I know only come for
the treats and the hot chocolateand donuts and whatnot.
(05:18):
I mean this one is kind ofspiritual but I would say
changed lives, like they've seena change in their friends and
they're like what's going onwith you and it's like hey, you
should just come, just come andsee.
You know we've talked aboutthat line with kids before.
Like come and see.
And then girls or boys, youknow like junior hires don't
(05:41):
have a lot of opportunityoutside of like school to hang
out with their crush.
You know a guy or a girl whothey're interested in and if
they know their crush is goingto be there or that group of
boys or those girls, they'llprobably try to make sure their
parents take them.
This was a real answer from oneof the youth pastors in the room
(06:02):
.
He's a brand new youth pastorand he used to be one of the
youth pastors in the room.
He's a brand new youth pastorand he used to be one of my
students in my youth ministryand then he was my intern when
he was a little older and nowhe's a youth pastor at one of
our campuses.
You want to know what hisanswer was Video games.
He said, kristen, the reason Icame to youth group was because
(06:22):
you guys had video games.
And actually he got invited bya friend who was actually a
youth pastor also and they wereon the same baseball team and he
invited him and he liked it.
But he said he really stayedbecause of the video games.
So I was like, okay, whatever,I don't think that's why you
stayed, but that's what got youin the door.
And so I think having an honestlook and saying let's be
(06:46):
realistic about what gets a 12or 13 year old in the door, and
we can't over-spiritualize thisstep, because there's a saying
that students often need tobelong before they believe.
So if we're asking anon-Christian to be motivated by
deep small group discussionsand meaningful live worship and
(07:08):
impactful age relevant sermons,I think we've aimed at the wrong
target.
Not that we're not like, ofcourse we want to reach
Christians as well, but we willhave all that stuff.
I don't have to convince aChristian usually to come to
church, you know, but somebodywho's just kind of getting their
feet wet and you know, likewhat is this thing about?
(07:31):
And I've heard of Jesus or myfriends go to this thing on
Tuesdays.
I don't know really what it'sabout, but I'm interested and
I'm willing.
What can I do to get them inthe door Now?
Do you have something in youryouth group, in your church,
that is irresistible to the agegroup you're trying to reach?
(07:52):
Is there something that isgoing to draw them in?
Think of your reputation.
Do I have a good reputationoutside the church?
Would parents recommend myyouth group to another parent?
Would they be like, oh, we likeit, but I can't bring my
friends because it's weird, youknow?
Or is it like oh, I thinkanyone in my neighborhood or
(08:12):
baseball team would love this.
In fact, I'll get a wholecarload of kids after school and
bring them, which I love whenparents do that.
When students show up, is thereenough to capture their
interest and attention?
You know, like we were talkingabout the food and the fun and
opportunities for games andconnection and all of that do
(08:33):
are we speaking their language?
And we've talked a lot aboutthat on this podcast.
So then we go a step furtherand say, all right, if we are
good at capturing them,capturing their interest,
getting them through the doorwe're good at capturing them.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
I know that didn't sound right.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
I was hoping we could just move past that immaturity,
that you would know what Imeant, you thought wrong.
I should know by now because Iwork with junior hires.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
And you're married to one.
Yeah, that was awkward too.
Strike that from the record.
This is getting out of hand.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
So why do they stay right?
Because we can have all thevideo games and cotton candy in
the world, but it's emptycalories, right?
No pun intended, it's just not.
It's enough to be like, hey, I'mwilling to give this thing a
try At least it's not someboring snooze fest that I'm
giving up, you know video gamesfor, but it's like, okay, that's
(09:35):
not gonna be.
That's not youth ministry.
You know, I love Josh Griffin's, his old blog More Than
Dodgeball, because it's like, ofcourse we're going to play
dodgeball, but what is going toget someone to stay?
It has to be more than that.
We aren't just recreationalleaders or whatever ymca boys
(09:55):
and girls club.
So why do students stay?
And then we ask ourselves thequestions am I giving them
opportunities to see somethingthat really makes them stick
around?
You know so, for example, Imean, you can't discount the
Holy Spirit, right?
Our senior pastor asked areally good question about 100
(10:17):
times.
He asks us this all the time.
He says if the Holy Spirit wereto leave your ministry tomorrow
, how long would it take you tonotice?
And he goes.
I remember the first timesomebody asked me that question
and I just was like never, like.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
I would never notice.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Because he was like, I was so gift-oriented I could
teach.
You know most pastors incircles and I could like it was
my gifting that was keeping thisministry afloat.
It wasn't the power of the HolySpirit.
You know most pastors incircles and I could like it was
my gifting that was keeping thisministry afloat.
It wasn't the power of the HolySpirit, you know.
And I think that's a reallyinteresting question and I've
never really known how to answerit because I'm like well, the
Holy Spirit couldn't leavebecause the Holy Spirit's
(10:56):
present in me.
So like, so I guess what he'ssaying maybe is more of like,
are we unleashing the power ofthe Holy Spirit, giving room and
opportunity for the Holy Spiritto move in the lives of our
kids through prayer andconviction and worship and
accountability and repentance?
(11:17):
Like, are we giving room forthe Holy Spirit to speak?
And that's probably what hemeant, holy Spirit to speak, and
that's probably what he meant.
But just, I guess another wayto put it or a great question to
ask yourselves is in a givenweek, how much do we pursue or
rely on the Holy Spirit to doministry, or are we like great,
turn on the Nintendo switch,turn on the lights, turn on the
(11:39):
foggers, get the pizza cue, themusic cue dodgeball.
We've got youth group.
Get the pizza cue, the musiccue dodgeball, we've got youth
group.
You know which?
I'm for all those things.
However, it's not enough.
So, in the midst of that, are wealso saying, okay, holy Spirit,
you've got to show up tonight,and do we bathe our youth
(12:00):
ministry in prayer?
Are we praying for our students, their families, their small
group leaders?
Are we inviting the Holy Spiritin?
Are we teaching our studentshow to call on the Holy Spirit
and rely on Jesus, you know?
Or is it just this very hypeevent and everyone gets a little
Bible and then we go home,which is not enough, you know,
(12:21):
and I've seen youth groups likethat kind of burn out.
You know it was like everyonekind of came because it was cool
but there was nothing here tokeep me, you know.
So the Holy Spirit.
And then spiritual growth.
So our students are looking tohave us disciple them and go
from where they are to wherethey need to be.
(12:41):
Do they have opportunities togrow spiritually?
So that would be through,usually their small group leader
really challenging them with.
You know, small groups thatcreate an atmosphere of maybe
vulnerability where we can openup.
Are we diving into the word?
Or is it all just behaviormanagement in small groups,
(13:03):
which I tell you some weeksthat's what it feels like.
It's just like all I did wastell you guys to be quiet, you
know, like the entire time andjust teach you how to be like
civil human beings who raisetheir hand or don't talk over
each other, you know, orwhatever.
I'm leading a sixth grade girlsmall group right now because
we're in the middle of promotionand it's like oh my gosh, just
(13:25):
this girl's crying because hercat died and you're over here
with your side conversation,like.
So, anyways, like creating roomfor spiritual growth, and do we
have a way to measure that?
You know, I think that's areally difficult question to
answer as a youth pastor,someone in ministry yeah, how
the heck do you measurespiritual growth?
Well, I mean, we can't quantifyit completely, but there's some
(13:50):
outward signals that we couldbe looking for Consistency,
character change, generosity,students giving of their time,
their money doesn't mean a wholelot at this age, so I think
it's more their time and theircharacter, like, are you willing
to help someone who does nothelp you?
You know, like, well, thissixth grader is brand new and
(14:15):
doesn't have a team and you haveall your friends over here,
Generosity is teaching them.
hey, you go after that kid andyou make sure that they feel
loved and included, Because if Ijust tell junior hires to tithe
their money, they're like, oh,it's my parents anyways.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
I don't really care, and I've already spent it at the
snack shack, so who cares?
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Yeah, I mean, it's not like they're budgeting and
their mortgage and oh, this isgoing to really hurt to give
this 10 like.
So you have to teach them howto be generous with themselves.
That's how I've found it to bemost effective in this age.
Another signal is serving, youknow, being willing to be on a
serving team or a discipleshipteam and do the bible studies
(14:54):
that go along with that, and askgood questions.
Accountability, like are theywilling to be vulnerable and
share and allow you or theirleaders to pray with them and
for them?
Those are all signs thatspiritual growth is happening
and not that students are goingto change overnight.
But I'd like to see atrajectory of like you're
(15:17):
getting it, you know, and theHoly Spirit is forming your
character and shaping it as wewalk through some of this stuff
together.
So spiritual growth and peoplewill stay if they feel like man.
I can look back at the last sixmonths and see I'm so different
now than I was six months agoin terms of my understanding, my
(15:39):
relationship with God, myintimacy with the Holy Spirit.
So stuff like that where we areconstantly teaching them.
And then I think something elsethat keeps them is just the
truth in a world where it was sofunny.
Today we were buying bananas orsomething at the grocery store
and our 12 year old daughter sawa national inquire headline and
(16:01):
she repeated it to me.
She goes did you know that?
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
And I'm like what?
Where did you see that?
And she goes it's on thatnewspaper.
I go oh, that's a nationalinquire said nothing they say is
real.
I at least I don't think so.
I mean, I remember it justbeing a big fabricated headline
grabber.
It was like clickbait beforethere was clickbait.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
You know what I?
Speaker 1 (16:22):
mean I don't know how legally they keep getting away
with this.
But she goes wait, what do youmean?
It's not true.
I was like, well, I don't know,it's just goofy stuff.
They try to get you sucked in.
But it's all just fluff fluff.
And she was so confused, likehow are you allowed to just
publish that which I'm?
I'm still confused.
So in a world where there'sstill national inquirer or weird
(16:45):
people on YouTube, just uh, oh,where are the weird?
People on YouTube.
Uh, just saying whatever youlike and subscribe or like
social media accounts wherepeople are like just saying
their expert opinion oneverything you know.
Truth is just so hard to comeby.
So I love being able to tellour students like hey, there's
(17:10):
differing opinions on all kindsof things in our world.
There's a lot of things we cannever know.
The truth on A lot of this stuffis a matter of opinion and
doesn't actually even matter.
However, there is somethingthat will never change, and I'm
going to tell you the truth that, no matter what, I know this is
true and we can cling to thisfrom now into the rest of our
lives.
And it's a truth that is sodynamic that every time you come
(17:34):
to church, every time you're ina small group, every time
you're worshiping, if you'reseeking the Holy Spirit, he's
going to keep revealing more andmore truth to you.
I mean, I've been a Christiansince I was four years old and I
went to a worship night theother night and I was furiously
writing, like all this stuff,that I felt like God was telling
me.
It's like we have the truth andthat's something that keeps
(17:59):
students coming back for more oflike what is this world?
Is it just violent and weirdand is everyone just a liar?
Is nothing real anymore.
You know, everything you see onsocial media is AI enhanced or a
filter and it's like what'sreal and that's what we have to
offer students giving them truththat changes lives and
(18:20):
eternities.
The world cannot compete withthat.
So make sure you are just.
I always say our youth group isso fun and then I hose you with
the truth and I love thatdichotomy of like party on
Tuesday, woohoo, having a goodtime, and then that sobering
moment of just like hitting themso hard that those gut punch
(18:41):
moments of this is the gospelyou know Um so, anyways, it's
going to be interesting, though,seeing how these newer
generations growing up with AI,with internet, social media, all
these things, how they perceivetruth.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Like I'm just thinking out loud, um, but I
feel like if you were, if youwere around, if you were on this
earth prior to a lot of thatstuff, you had a sense of
discernment, like figuring outis this real or not, you know,
and kind of researching it orwhatever where.
(19:17):
And then, with the advent ofthe internet and information
becoming more available, ithelped.
That, I feel like.
Originally, yeah, and then itgot inundated.
Now it got out of hand with yeah, with, this is no longer true,
and I feel like even researching, you can't even tell exactly
like remember when all thoseufos were everywhere, right I
still don't know.
I don't know either.
(19:38):
And how can we just on fromthat?
Speaker 1 (19:39):
How can we ever know the truth.
Even if you like, are thesereal?
It doesn't matter.
A million articles will come uptelling you all kinds of
different things.
Where's the authority?
And that's where we can pointthem to scripture.
It's like who is the authority?
I mean these people say theUFOs are real.
These people don't.
These people say they're justthe military.
These people say they're hidingsomething, Right, and it's like
(20:01):
who do I trust?
Where do I like?
Speaker 2 (20:04):
So I give up my point , or my thought is I wonder if
these people will grow up reallysearching for the truth or if
they will just accept a worldwhere nothing is true.
Oh, that's scary.
It is scary, and so you wouldhope that they would, you know,
kind of come to the conclusionslike, well, there is truth,
there is fiction, and then thereis fact, and so it's like what
(20:27):
is true.
And so my hope, my prayer, isthat these younger, you know
generations would, would seekthat out totally honestly, but I
don't know.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
Pointing them in the direction of exactly what you're
just saying is like guys, wecan know the truth.
I can't know the truth aboutUFOs and government conspiracies
, but I can know the truth aboutwhy we're here, what our
purpose is, who God is, what hispurpose for us is, where we're
going, what the future is Like.
(20:57):
We can know that stuff wearen't just floating through
space with like a bunch ofconspiracies and then we die.
It's like, no, there's weirdpeople saying all kinds of stuff
, but there is an anchoringtruth and they based on what
you're saying.
I think we need that now morethan ever.
Right?
So you know, people do staybecause of fun, like that gets
(21:20):
them in the door.
I think you need to beconsistently fun.
I'm not going to spend a lot oftime on that, because I feel
like I talk about that all thetime.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
You guys should know that by now tonight changed
lives.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
purpose, looking forward to something these are
all reasons people stay.
I love the idea of lookingforward to something.
(21:52):
This is a more of aprogrammatic element.
We've been talking about bigideas and spiritual ideas, but
this is more of a programelement of like we do Tuesdays,
fairly similarly every singleweek, we do our weekend service.
We follow kind of a formula.
However, I feel like there'salways something cool on the
horizon.
We're pushing and lookingforward to like oh, we have a
beach day coming up, or we haveour whitewater rafting trip
(22:14):
coming up.
We do something in the summercalled super chaos where, since
the kids are out of school, wepush it back.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
uh, we go an extra hour for a youth group.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
So instead of ending at 8 30, we end at 9 30 and we
play a bunch of extra games andget cotton candy or root beer
floats, whatever.
So we're all theall-overnighter the battle.
We're always kind of timingthese things so we're not in
this rut that there's somethingcool to continually look forward
to.
And I don't know about you, butthat's almost like a mental
(22:46):
saving grace for me.
My friends and I talk about thisa lot like with the monotony of
so we'll put it in context of astudent, with the monotony of
school sports game, churchhomework, chores, school sports.
It's just this like such apredictable pattern and I, my
friends and I always talk aboutwe need something to look
(23:07):
forward to Like.
So, yeah, I'm going about mynormal daily routine week dishes
, dinner, homework, this butthen I know Thursday I'm going
on a bike ride and going to areally yummy restaurant and I'm
going to get a matcha and I'm soexcited, you know, like there's
going to be something on thehorizon that kind of gets me
(23:28):
like yeah, our program is coolevery single week.
But here's also what, together,collectively, we are looking
(23:49):
forward to this and you want tobe a part of it, because that's
a bonding experience and thoserelationships are what keep
people so well, you'd hope yourmidweek program or your Sunday
morning program would besomething to look forward to in
and of itself, right?
Absolutely it should be, I agreewith that.
And then you know they're smallgroups, so let's kind of camp
on here now for the rest of ourtime, because you know all those
(24:12):
reasons that students come thatwe were talking about before
and all the reasons studentsstay, those are absolutely
powerless without a team ofleaders.
I would say youth groups growbecause they have a dynamic,
(24:33):
present, consistent group ofleaders.
I think a youth pastor is inthe worst place possible for
their ministry as a whole andfor them ministry like
personally, like their ownspiritual, mental leadership
health, when they're doing it bythemselves.
There is literally I can saythis very confidently no way to
(24:59):
grow without leaders.
So what does that mean for youas a youth pastor is?
You know Travis was talkingabout this at our meeting.
He was saying that might verymuch challenge how you schedule
your time this week.
So if you have no leaders andyou are doing ministry all by
(25:21):
yourself, you might as well havea timer over your head counting
down, because you will quit,you will burn out and the
ministry will not grow.
So I feel like, before theministry goes kaput, you will go
kaput.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
You knowut.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
Does everyone know what kaput means?
Speaker 2 (25:44):
If not, ask AI, as I was saying before.
The internet you could look upkaput and they would tell you.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
But now, I mean, anyone can say anything.
So who knows if we'll ever getto the bottom of that.
So for your time management,you have got to drop everything
and go get a leadership teamaround you at least one other
person, a running mate, a couplelead, I mean, whatever it is.
You cannot do this alone.
(26:11):
And how you spend your week,then, if you do have those
leaders, should be you nowduplicating yourself in the
leaders around you, because yourreach is so limited, your
energy is so finite.
But if you had like, if youcould push, multiply, like you
(26:32):
multiplied by 10 and you had,well, now, 11 of you yeah, 11 of
you running around.
Imagine the breadth of ministrythat you have now.
Hey, friend, I just wanted tointerrupt this episode for a
(26:53):
second to let you know about anawesome opportunity for you and
your youth ministry.
So last year we launched ourcourse and coaching program
called Youth Ministry GrowthAccelerator and the response has
been amazing.
So we've helped tons of youthpastors grow the size and health
of their youth ministry and wewant to invite you to be a part
(27:13):
of that as well, because maybeyou're just sort of feeling
stuck in a rut, maybe you don'tknow what to do next?
Maybe you just have a vagueplan in your mind of what you're
doing and you want some realhelp to get you from where you
are to where you want to go.
So if that sounds likesomething you've been looking
for, go togrowyouryouthministrycom and
check it out for more details.
(27:35):
All right, let's get back to theepisode.
You want to create a leadershipteam, and they don't have to be
like clones of you, but theyneed to think like you about
ministry, and then they do ittheir own way if that makes
sense.
So, for example we loveexamples, right?
I had a parent orientationmeeting about four weeks ago and
(27:56):
, as always, very low, showingNot a lot of parents, but the
ones who came were delightful.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
To pause for a second .
I feel like that's kind of agood thing in a sense.
I think parents are like wetrust you, we know it's good,
we're going to send our kids, wedon't need to get the shmule
Good, Jeffiel.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
I like that perspective.
That is so helpful becausethey're all showing up.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
They might be going.
Who are you?
What is this?
What's going on?
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (28:24):
I had a handful of parents come and so after the
meeting, you know, I was tryingto answer some questions because
you know we have a camp comingup and I had some parents you
know well, it's really far awayand blah, blah, blah, and we
were chit chatting and I wasgiving them flyers, while there
was another mom who had come infor the first time and she was
(28:45):
up in the lobby and I didn't getto her in time and I panicked
and I was like oh, no, like ah,and she had brought a friend.
And then, like now it's likethese two moms kind of like
what's going on?
Like who do we talk to?
And my worship leader, hannah,intercepts these two moms.
This is not her job,necessarily, but she knew the
(29:08):
value of what, how we feel aboutparents and reaching out in
ministry and all of that, andreaching out in ministry and all
of that, and she introducedherself and helped them get
situated, answered theirquestions.
She went up to them.
They weren't like, excuse me,who's in charge here?
She intercepted them with asmile and was like hi, I'm
(29:29):
Hannah.
Like you know, is this yourfirst night.
Oh, what are your kids names,you know, and got them all
registered ready to go, and itwas so beautiful.
I was so thankful for her andactually it meant so much.
One of the moms texted me at theend of the night and she said
wow, we were able to meet Hannahtonight.
She was so friendly, so kind.
(29:50):
You have such a great team,you're.
You're such a good leader.
Thank you so much.
Like I got all this credit forHannah.
You know, being so like she waslike my duplicate, like where I
couldn't be.
She filled in the gap andthat's just.
I mean I have another leader,heidi, who does that all the
time.
I see her walking around withnew parents and showing them all
(30:12):
over the place.
And our security guy, even JP,he'll go and like, hey, like,
can I help you?
Or oh, yeah, this is where wemeet and here's how pickup works
.
And so what you want is thatproximity to you, that vision,
sharing with you, and thatusually comes bottom line Again,
ministry, one-on-one comes downto your relationship with your
(30:36):
leaders.
It's very, very rarely let'shave a meeting about how to
welcome parents.
You know a lot of it is justthis constant proximity to you.
They see you, they watch you,the conversations that you're
having, and it doesn't mean youcan't have a meeting about it.
You know I have a meetingbefore youth group every Tuesday
(30:59):
night for just a quick 15minutes and you could just drip
and stuff like that, like heyguys, we're expecting a lot of
new families tonight.
Like, be on the lookout.
Like if you see a parent thatlooks confused, don't wait for
them to come to you, justapproach them right away and you
can radio me or come find me ifyou can't answer their
questions.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
But please right in front of it.
I don't know the answer to that, kristin please go.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
No, they go.
Hey, kristin, I have a parenthere who wants to talk to you.
We're up in the lobby and I'mlike, oh yep, I'll be right
there, but most of the time theycan do it on their own.
Usually when they call me, it'sbecause the parent has an issue
with something.
Let me speak to your manager,yeah.
Not with us but, like you know,there's all kinds of stuff.
You guys know that.
So, anyways, it's like this.
(31:47):
We can only grow like our.
Our potential growth isseriously so wrapped up in this
team of leaders.
Your reach and your energy isso finite, but when you can pour
that in and multiply that by 10, 15, 20, 25, every ministry is
(32:11):
better with more leaders andit's your job as the leader to
make sure they know how to carryout your vision of ministry.
Again, not that it's like youplay this recording of me saying
hello, welcome to our ministry,like it doesn't they don't have
to parrot you but it's like ashared vision that you're
(32:35):
teaching them over and over andover again and celebrating those
wins with them of like.
That was incredible.
Thank you guys so much formaking these parents feel
welcome and that is how we growLike.
I mean honestly that I don'tthink that there's any other way
.
When students come in the door,why are they staying?
(32:55):
Because they were known, theywere loved, they were cared for
by a leader and if you only havefour kids, that still doesn't
mean you don't need help andanother leader and another
presence and a running mate.
The worst position in ministryis alone.
That is the worst.
(33:15):
Well, I guess the worstposition would be you have a
running mate and they're badnews.
But, I mean, let's just assumethat they are, you know good,
and I mean I can't think ofanother top priority like other
than get the team around you ifyou want to reach these kids.
(33:36):
You know, and sometimes leadersjust hold leadership like
they're like well, I can do it,you know.
It's like of course you can.
But remember we were talkinglast week there's a big
difference between can andshould.
Sometimes I feel like that isthe most important part of my
job other than preaching thegospel to students is making
(33:59):
sure I have a lot of leaders sothat message can get out in a
variety of ways through thecontext of a relationship.
So that is why people day Great, great podcast episode.
Good job.
Speaker 2 (34:17):
Thanks for being here , great on the heels of the
episode we did last week, whichis how to retain your volunteers
because you wanted to retainstudents.
You also want to retainvolunteers.
We actually also did a episodeabout how to duplicate yourself,
which goes right in line withwhat you're talking about.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
Do you wish there were two of me?
Would that be so much fun.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
A lot to handle, let me tell you.
So make sure you check outthose episodes.
We'll link them in thedescription below, and right now
we're going to do a communitycomment of the day.
This comes from Tom Collins,who says Isn't that a famous
name?
Speaker 1 (34:50):
Sure Tom Collins A famous person listens to our
podcast.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
Woo, a famous person, listens to our podcast.
We tom writes.
I have been helping with ouryouth group at our church and
your ideas and advice havealmost doubled our attendance.
On wednesdays I came here tolet you know.
For some reason, apple podcastapp will not play your podcast I
wanted to have you playingwhile I'm working, but it won't
play on the app.
Thank you for everything youshare.
(35:21):
Update.
Tom wrote back and said it wasthe VPN issue.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
All is well.
Okay, we did it guys.
Thank you, Tom.
See how we created acliffhanging moment, and then we
solved it just like that.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
Tom solved it, Tom.
Thank you.
Tom Appreciate that.
We thank you guys for watchingand listening and we'll see you
next time.
Speaker 1 (35:44):
Why do students come to your?
Why do?
Why do students come to youryouth ministry?
Why do students come to youryouth ministry initially?
Why do students initially cometo your youth ministry and why
do they stay?
These are questions that we'reanswering on today's episode.
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