September 25, 2025 • 47 mins
Check out our new partnership with Onward: Youth & Young Adult Pastor Cohort https://www.onwardleader.com/the-cohort *** Are you afraid your youth ministry might be dying? Every youth pastor dreads the moment when they realize their student ministry might be on life support. The energy is gone, attendance is dwindling, and that spark of spiritual growth seems to have dimmed to barely a flicker. Whether you've inherited a struggling youth group or watched your once-thriving program slowly fade, that feeling of failure can be paralyzing. But what if the path to revival is clearer than you think? Before you can apply the defibrillator paddles to your youth ministry, you need an accurate diagnosis. Ready to breathe new life into your dying youth ministry? Let's go!!!
=========
We love hearing from you all and we do our best to provide powerful and insightful youth ministry content on a weekly basis to be that coach and mentor you may not have, but desperately need.
If you have an episode idea, please E-Mail us at MinistryCoachPodcast@gmail.com!
If you have it on your heart to support this ministry, please consider going to our Patreon page at: www.patreon.com/ministrycoach
=========
You may also enjoy these episodes:
(#085) How to Do Youth Ministry at a Dying Church
(#259) Top 10 Bible Resources for Youth Ministry
(#256) Best Practices for Emailing the Parents of Your Youth Ministry Students
=======
🔄 CONNECT WITH US ON SOCIAL MEDIA 📱:
Ministry Coach Podcast:
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@MinistryCoach/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ministrycoachpodcast/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ministrycoachpodcast
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ministrycoachpodcast
Kristen Lascola:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/klascola/
Jeffrey Lascola:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/grandmasterbengal/
=======
Audio Equipment:
Microphones
https://amzn.to/3V9GrrT
Microphone Preamp
https://amzn.to/3QVB3WQ
Digital Recorder
https://amzn.to/3eXmvkj
*This episode is not sponsored. Some of the links are affiliate links which simply means, if you buy something, we will receive a small commission (at no additional cost to you) Thank you!*
Check out our new partnership with Onward: Youth & Young Adult Pastor Cohort https://www.onwardleader.com/the-cohort
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Are we meeting their needs and do we have positive
relationships?
That will take you so far.
What is your specific datatelling you about the program?
Do you feel like your youthministry is dying?
Then stick around, becausetoday we're going to give you
practical ways of how you canrevive it.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Welcome to the Ministry Coach Podcast, where I
give you weekly tips and tacticsto help you fast-track the
growth and health of your youthministry.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
My name is Jeff Laskola and this is Kristen
Laskola, and today we aretalking about how to revive a
dying youth group.
So sad Can be a verydiscouraging time when you feel
like you've either walked into adying youth group, like maybe
(00:57):
you're new and it's just notthriving, or maybe you sense
that the youth ministry you'realready leading is just not it
right now and you're strugglingand we've talked about this
before.
As youth pastors we start totake this stuff personally.
We think something's wrong withus, we are horrible people and
(01:20):
even like on a kind of justsimpler level, you feel like
nobody likes me, like nobodylikes me, everybody hates me.
I guess I'll go Yorm.
So it can be a tough season toget out of because the sadness,
the insecurity, the depression,they kind of all start building
(01:42):
up and you just sort of feeldisabled in it all, like I can't
do anything.
I don't even know where tostart or what to do.
And we're going to help youtoday kind of get through that
and hopefully come out the otherside and see that there are
things you can do and ways tokind of like jump start, put a
little adu aed, what are theycalled?
Speaker 2 (02:05):
they're like yeah, I know what you mean.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
It's not adu, though put it adu on here and rent it
out and make a little sideincome.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Aud ae aed, and I don't know what it stands for.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
It's a defibrillator.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Defibrillator yeah, isn't it?
Aed.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
I think so.
I feel like there's a U inthere.
I'm going to say aorticelectronic defibrillator?
Speaker 2 (02:32):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
All right, that was irrelevant.
It was supposed to be a simpleillustration that we moved past
very quickly.
However, here we are.
So here's step one.
Step one is if you're new tothis youth group and it's dying
and you're like trying todiagnose what's going on, that
(02:55):
needs to be your first step.
I've got to diagnose theproblem, or the problems.
Chances are it's not just onething, chances are it's probably
a few different things.
So what you need to do is puton your detective hat and get
really, really curious.
You need to ask a lot ofquestions and this doesn't apply
(03:16):
just if you're new.
If you're in a church and yousense the youth group is dying
and you've been there for awhile, it still applies.
So you need to ask questionsand the type of questions you
need to ask depends on the groupyou're asking, and there's a
few key groups that you need tostart to interview and
investigate and bring togetherfor groups and feedback, and
(03:40):
that would be leaders you knowlike whoever your team is the
team that's there?
Who do you work alongside in theyouth ministry?
The other adults, thevolunteers.
You need to ask them a ton ofquestions.
You need to ask the parents alot of questions and you need to
ask the students a lot ofquestions.
So here's what we're trying tofigure out by asking these
(04:03):
questions.
So why aren't students engagingwith what we're doing?
And obviously that's a verycomplicated question and
everyone will probably have adifferent opinion.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
And how would you pitch that question so as to get
to the heart of the problem andnot just kind of get arbitrary?
Well, this is my opinion, youknow.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
And the opinions, actually, you know Well, and the
opinions, actually, you knowI'm going to talk about how to
digest the data in a second, butopinions actually might start
telling a story you know.
So you can kind of say like doyou feel like our youth group is
essential for your?
Let's say you're talking to theparents for your child.
(04:43):
Is our youth group at thischurch essential?
Why or why not?
Is it essential to your child'sum spiritual development?
Why or why not?
What is the overall feedbackyour child gives you when they
come home?
If it's hard to get your childto come, why do they say that is
?
Speaker 2 (05:01):
because, I've.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
I've talked to youth pastors before that say parents
are like dragging their kids toyouth group, so the child must
be giving you some feedback.
Why don't you like?
Speaker 2 (05:11):
it.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
What is missing, what's going on.
And so, hearing that from aparent's perspective, if they're
willing to tell you, and thenmaybe talking through like, hey,
we had an event, what was itthat would prompt you to sign up
or not sign up for an event Ifyou're having trouble coming or
getting people to come to yourevents, is this program a
priority for your family?
(05:32):
Why or why not?
And then, like talking to yourleaders, are you excited to
serve here?
Is this a highlight of yourweek or does this is kind of
always this looming Wednesdaynight that you're dreading why.
You know, and I think you'regoing to have to be really brave
to ask these questions and it'sgoing to be difficult, because
(05:53):
if you already feel like you'redown, then asking these
questions can kick you whileyou're down.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
Expose you to more.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Exactly, and I was teaching my students this
morning.
We were talking about gettingout of our comfort zone for the
sake of the gospel.
I was telling them like, hey,one time our kid, who was two at
the time, woke up in the middleof the night and couldn't
breathe.
And I woke you up and we werefreaking out.
We called 911, go out to theambulance.
(06:21):
They ended up taking her to thehospital and it wasn't until I
got inside that I realized Ilook like a disaster, like I'm
in my pajamas, no shoes on, nomakeup, on my side bun is
melting off my head, my hair isfrayed and everywhere.
I looked awful, but the urgencyof the situation superseded my
(06:44):
need to like oh, do these shoes?
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Matt hold on.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
I know you can't breathe, but I can't find my
earrings.
You know, because you realizethe urgency of the situation
supersedes your comfort.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
To put that in the context of what we're talking
about today and to close theloop on that, she was fine, it
was croup.
Yes, it was croup.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
And it was very scary because two year olds can't
communicate well how they'refeeling anyways.
It was like, okay, it's goingto be difficult for you to maybe
hear, but the only way to getthrough is through.
You know what I mean.
Like, if we want to get throughthis season, you might have to
sacrifice your comfort, how youlook to others and even to
(07:27):
yourself, because the urgency ofthe situation is we're on life
support here.
So, yes, I might look foolishbecause I'm exposed now to
feedback and criticism andthings that might be difficult
for me to hear, but the only wayto improve is I have to hear
them, I have to understand themand put them all together and
(07:49):
and digest.
Like what does this mean?
So, when do you get some ofthose answers?
And that could be like hey,we're having a parent breakfast
and I'm inviting all the parentsand I have some questions.
You could send out a survey, ifyou don't want to do it face to
face, and hopefully get someresponses back.
You could do a leader night atyour house and talk to the
leaders.
You could do a little smallgroup with the students and get
(08:11):
their feedback on what do youlove about youth group, what do
you not love about youth group?
Would you invite a friend here?
Why or why not?
What areas do you look forwardto?
What areas do you dread?
Is this the highlight of yourweek?
Why or why not?
So then you put it all togetherand you start to look for
patterns Because, like you said,sometimes people will have like
(08:31):
a one-off opinion.
Like I remember a kid once islike I think it's just like so
boring how you only havepepperoni and cheese pizza.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
I was like okay well, I don't care.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
You know, go get your own pizza.
But if you start to noticethings that are more of a
pattern of like everyone says,it's at a really inconvenient
time.
Sunday night is a family night.
We're getting ready for schoolthe next day.
It just doesn't fit with ourschedule.
Or maybe someone is saying, oryou're hearing leaders say we
(09:01):
never know what's going on, wedon't feel like ready when we
come and you're hard to get ahold of, like those are things
that's like, ah, if like one ortwo, three people are starting
to say this, then maybe this iswhat you put.
You kind of take the data,maybe, put it in an Excel sheet
or some kind of document andcategorize it.
(09:22):
Okay, this is the complaints wehave about program.
This is the complaints we haveabout communication.
This is the complaints we haveabout schedule.
This is the complaints we haveabout relationships or lack
thereof or whatever it might be,and you start to kind of like
you're an investigator of yourown ministry of, like, what is
(09:43):
the data that you've gatheredtelling you?
And this process could take awhile, and so being really
patient with trying to ask goodquestions, trying to touch base
with as many people as possible,trying to elicit really honest
responses you know honestresponses, you know.
(10:06):
So sometimes, if it has to dowith you, people are going to be
kind of hesitant to say, whichobviously I think we all are
trying to save people's feelings.
So try to ask things that don'thave to do with you but have to
do with something moreobjective you know, like the
program or the schedule orwhatever it might be, Do you
feel like you're growingspiritually here?
Why or why not?
That's very different thanasking am I a good teacher?
(10:28):
So it's like, yes, you know, Isaw this artist.
I don't think he was an artist,I think he just bought a bunch
of paintings on Amazon and we'reselling them at the beach the
other day and he's like do youlike this painting?
I was like, yeah, well then whydon't you buy it?
I'm like I painting.
I was like, yeah, well then,why don't you buy it?
I'm like I didn't know what tosay.
But it's like if an artist asksyou do you like my painting,
there's only one answer yes,like.
(10:51):
So if you say, am I a goodteacher?
Yes, am I a good youth pastor?
Uh-huh, but you have to askabout the fruit Like are you
growing spiritually?
Do you have a betterunderstanding of scripture?
(11:23):
Do you feel engaged when weworship?
Are these songs hitting for you?
Do you feel like you haveopportunities to make friends
here?
So you ask about the fruit, notthe procedure, you know,
because that won't ever get youan honest response, I guess.
So, once you kind of have thatdata and you figure out, okay,
is this telling me a story?
Am I noticing patterns?
What can I do?
Here's some areas that you canmove on to that are tried and
true that probably will addresssome of the things you're
finding anyways.
Oh and, by the way, I wouldreally pray over that data of
just like that God would showyou what he needs, to show you
(11:45):
as you kind of analyze whatpeople are saying, the general
feeling out there, and that hewould just kind of like speak
through that and give you wisdomand direction here, and then
you kind of move on to this ideathat healthy ministry is always
built on healthy relationships,first and foremost, and there's
(12:06):
really no way around that.
Like that is like the corefoundation of every single thing
we do.
It's relationships.
So I would, if you feel likeyour youth ministry is dying, I
would laser focus on this areaof relationships.
And so I mean the obviousrelationship here is your
relationship with God.
(12:26):
Obviously, right, that is themost important.
But here's the truth.
I know people that are on firefor God have an amazing
relationship, are following himclosely, are deeply in love with
Jesus, and it doesn't meantheir youth ministry is going
well.
It doesn't mean they know how todo their job.
On the contrary.
(12:47):
I know people and I've seenthat dozens of times.
You love the Lord, are verysincere, you're passionate about
youth.
You just like don't know how topiece together youth ministry.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
And then, on the contrary, I mean, how many times
have we seen someone who endsup having a whole double life or
is far from the heart of Godand their ministry was bursting
at the seams?
So all I'm saying is, as wemove through this content, I'm
assuming that your relationshipwith God is what it should be.
(13:21):
That is always first andforemost.
Your relationship with God iswhat it should be.
That is always first andforemost.
You know, as a pastor, we can'thope to like pour out of an
empty cup and we can't hope toteach something that we don't
experience on a daily basis forourselves.
Your relationship with God isnumber one.
So here's what we need to do isfigure out your relationship
(13:42):
with your leaders, your staff,your team, whoever that is you
with them and them with eachother.
Camaraderie is like an it factor, according to Craig Groeschel,
in churches that just have itLike.
How do you define like?
They just have it Like it'sjust electric, and camaraderie
(14:06):
is part of that and it's veryobvious to anyone who steps on.
It was like there's a buzzbetween the people, there's love
and affection and connectionthere, and it has to start
between you and your team andyour team, with your team.
That is the foundation ofministry.
So if your youth ministry isdying, I would, yes, do the data
(14:26):
analysis that we just talkedabout, but foundationally, what
is our relationship culture likeamong the team?
And that is like what tricklesout to the rest of the youth
ministry.
There, literally is nothing.
If your team is not good, thereis no hope.
You know what I mean.
(14:47):
Like that, if the leadersaren't getting along, if the
leaders aren't connected, if theleaders aren't unified, Well,
there's no hope if you don't doanything.
Absolutely yes, if you're justlike well, people don't get
along oh well, you know, it iswhat it is.
Yeah, no, we've got to bearchitects of this relational
(15:08):
culture for our ministry.
It doesn't always just happennaturally, but you, as the
pastor or the ministry lead, arethe catalyst for this.
So you need to have a very good, solid, connected relationship
with every single one of yourleaders.
And you need to have a verygood, solid, connected
relationship with every singleone of your leaders, and you
need to foster opportunities forthem to have camaraderie and
(15:30):
relationship with each other.
You know and that comes in theform of all kinds of things like
celebrations.
You know, celebrating winstogether, having fun together,
celebrating God, god, storieslike oh, look what happened in
this small group and this wasamazing.
And then just celebrating lifewith each other birthdays or
(15:51):
going away parties, or you know,what do we do when someone is
sick?
Um, do we take care of eachother.
You know, and that's like Ialways look at them as like my,
my small group.
You know, I, and that's like Ialways look at them as like my,
my small group you know I don'tlead a small group.
They're my small group so that Ican focus all my time, energy
(16:11):
and relational bandwidth on themand make sure we are healthy,
because that's where a growing,thriving youth ministry begins.
So and then the truth is, nomatter how good of a youth
pastor you are maybe you're anexcellent teacher, maybe you're
highly organized, maybe you'resuper fun and magnetic and all
(16:31):
the kids love you the truth is,no matter how good you are, you
will not last in youth ministrywithout that team around you and
the strength of that team iswhat will carry you into
longevity and when that'sunhealthy, or when you feel like
(16:54):
you've got this and you willquickly realize you will only
make it so far.
You might be able to have ayouth group of like 12 kids, and
then that will be your ceilingand your limit, and that's even
stretching it.
I always use 12 as an example,because that's how many
disciples.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Jesus had.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
So you spend every.
If you're in emergency lifesupport mode, then you need to
spend every single day,literally every single day build
, finding a way to buildrelationships with your team
before you do anything else.
So examples of that one-on-oneswith people grabbing coffee,
(17:27):
grabbing lunch, going on a walk,hanging out, doing whatever,
but spending one-on-one timewith your team, brainstorming
sessions, inviting them into theministry process.
Like hey, what does your perfectyouth group look like?
What from your perspective?
We all sit on a different seatin the bus.
We see things differently.
Like what do you think wouldmake our youth group more
(17:48):
impactful?
Do you see an area of lack?
Do you see an area that if youwere I always ask it this way if
you were in charge, if you satin my seat, what would you do
next?
Or what would you dodifferently?
Or what would you get rid of?
What would you add?
You, you know, imagine I justpass you the steering wheel and
you can take this thing anywhere.
It's amazing what you'll hear.
Find out again.
(18:09):
You need to be humble and listento that skin yes, and then
obviously hangout time, fun time, just celebratory type of
things.
I'm looking for any excuse tocelebrate with my team.
A couple got engaged.
We're throwing a party.
One of them's moving to Hawaii.
We're throwing a party.
We are the end of a really bigevent project season.
(18:33):
In October we're going on aretreat and throwing a party.
We just did summer camp and itwas exhausting and we're all
depleted and tired.
We're throwing a celebrationfor all of our hard work.
I look for any opportunity forfun and celebration and look
what we did.
So that's a way.
And you know encouragement cards.
(18:53):
I love writing my teamencouragement like just like a
literal card or a text or avoice text or something like
that.
And depending on how, not thatyou have to be in complete dire
straits to pray and fast foryour ministry.
It always seems like more oflike an emergency move or
(19:15):
something.
But do you guys pray for theministry together?
If you feel like, yeah, you'reon life support, why not call a
fast and you guys all do thattogether?
We did that once.
The ministry was terrible.
It was like I dreaded it everysingle day, cause the kids were
not picking up anything we wereputting down.
Their behavior was like thepower balance flipped and they
(19:40):
it was mayhem.
It was mutiny and I'm like Ifeel like I work in a prison, I
don't feel like I work at achurch and you could just notice
it.
Suck the life out of all of uswe were all just going through
the motions and dreading.
It was not life-giving anymoreand I was like, hey, if this is
a spiritual battle, we need aspiritual weapon.
And we just prayed and fastedfor our ministry.
(20:02):
Maybe that will bring you guystogether, maybe that will show
them.
Hey, I'm serious about thisthing breathing, like getting
life breathed back into it, andwe need some major spiritual
intervention here.
And I remember I sent them kindof prayer prompts throughout
the day.
Okay, for this hour, when youthink of it, let's pray for the
(20:22):
parents and wisdom of leadingtheir children.
Let's pray for the students.
Okay, for this hour when youthink of it, let's pray for the
parents and wisdom of leadingtheir children.
Let's pray for the students.
Let's pray for us.
Let's pray for you know, maybea specific situation that was
very difficult, someone by name.
So we were just praying,praying, praying, praying and
honestly it worked, like ourministry, like all of a sudden
(20:43):
I'm like I recognize this place,like this is this is the?
Not that I expect it to be allsunshine and rainbows every day,
but it was.
It was dark, it was not good orhealthy at all.
So we needed to come togetherand just like cry out to God,
like we need you as a team, andthat, I think, really bonded us
(21:05):
and brought the Holy Spirit likefull, like power, into our
ministry and it was so like ohmy gosh, like we charged this
hill together and it was reallycool.
So assess that.
What are the relationships likewith my team and what are the
(21:27):
relationships like you have tofigure out with parents?
Have we lost trust with parents?
Because that's part of it.
You need to look at yourrelationship with the students
as well.
I'm not going to spend as muchtime on those, because I think
the foundation of a ministry isthe team and those relationships
, but as a youth pastor,obviously you need to have good
(21:48):
relationships with the studentsas well.
Like, do they see you assomeone they can talk to?
Do you pursue them?
Are you excited to see them?
Are you on their level?
Are you accessible?
All of those things Are you forthem?
Is this like?
Are you too hard on them?
Is this like school and notlike youth groups?
You know, and winning over theparents as well.
(22:10):
So you kind of have to maintainall those areas of relationship
.
So and that alone could takemonths to rebuild, but any
ministry that's healthy will bebuilt on a foundation of healthy
relationships.
So then next, what you want todo is assess the question are we
meeting the needs of ourstudents?
(22:31):
So we just talked a little bitbriefly about our relationship
with students and how that needsto be healthy.
However, do we actually knowwhat students need, and are we
meeting them?
So here's a few things that Ithink are non-negotiables.
Here's what students need fromtheir youth group.
They need significantrelationships where they are
(22:55):
known, loved, accepted andcelebrated, and by that I mean
people show up to church oryouth group every week and
hoping they will be met withenthusiasm.
That's why I use the wordcelebrated.
So when somebody walks throughthe door, is it up to them to be
(23:19):
?
Okay, where do I fit in?
Okay, people are playing a gameover here.
Should I go over here?
It's kind of that there you areor here I am mentality, but
like making a big deal aboutthem.
Oh my gosh, jeff, I'm so happyyou're here.
We're playing four square getin line, how was your weekend?
And when we make sure peoplefeel celebrated, like I am so
(23:41):
grateful for your presence here,I'm so happy you're here, I
noticed that you're here, I'mwelcoming you, I'm getting you
plugged in, I'm including you,assimilating you all of that.
They need to show up withsomeone being so excited that
they're there and that justwarms the heart, breaks down the
(24:04):
walls and the ice.
And don't ever take students'reaction as much of an indicator
, because they might be likefine, but then they go home so
excited like, oh my gosh, theyknow my name.
You know, calling them by name.
That's one of the first thingsI used to teach my volunteers is
(24:24):
always call students by theirname.
That is so important.
And sometimes I don't knowtheir name and they'll ask me,
do you know my name?
And I'll be like I think so,like that's the worst feeling
when you actually don't knowtheir name.
So always call them by name,get so excited and then make
(24:47):
sure they're being plugged intorelationships with adults.
But there we have this girl.
Her name is Hope and I call herJoy all the time and I'll be
like Joy, I'm so happy you'rehere, and she'll just like, look
at me, like so annoyed, and I'mlike that's not your name, is
(25:07):
it?
I do it all the time.
In fact, today I played happybirthday joy on the no thing.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
I don't know if she noticed because today was her
birthday I don't know becauseshe just looks so joyful you
know, just say you're saying itas like an exclamation joy, I'm
so happy to see you.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
I feel joy, and, and then I figured out a way to
remember and I would say Don'tsay the first name, I think,
think about what it actually is.
No, like from Snow White.
When I would see her I'd go hiHope, hi Hope, and she like
would look at me and she's likeis that annoying?
She's like kind of.
(25:53):
I was like well then I guess I'mcalling you joy seems like it's
working really well.
Okay, so they need significantrelationships where they're
known, loved, accepted,celebrated.
What else do they need?
They need fun, a place meantfor them where they can be 12 or
13, 14, whatever age you workat with.
When I was younger, there was acommercial on TV for Chuck E
(26:15):
Cheese and it would go Chuck ECheese's.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Where a kid can be a kid.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
Yeah, and I loved that.
So glad you finished.
And that's sometimes how I feelabout church and youth group
like sometimes I feel likechurches are like you can be
here but don't touch anything.
You can be here, but you betterbe quiet.
You can be here, but no morecookies for you.
(26:42):
You know, like it's just likewe're trying to protect the
church from the youth group orno, that's a full-time job it
really is, but I think creatinga place that's like well, we're
not forcing our kids to workaround the adult service, we're
creating a space that's meantfor your energy and your need
for some excitement and to beloud and you know it's so hard.
(27:06):
We used to play this gameoutside at church, but then we
moved a venue to outside becauseour church is growing too much.
And so now, like they were like, well, the kids are too loud
and the people can't hear thesermon, so you need to keep them
quiet.
And finally I just gave up andI'm like we just can't because,
you know, then I'm like asking,I'd be like, okay, have fun, but
(27:26):
quiet fun.
Well, I would like make it arule but quiet, fun.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
Well, I would like make it a rule, like it's called
silent gaga ball, and if youtalk you're out.
You know kids see through that,like at four years old.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
It was not working, so we don't play it anymore and
I'm so thankful I have a greatroom and we can play inside, but
the days of us playing gamesoutside is gone, because, you
know, no one's fault.
It's a good problem to have hergrowing, but it it was like
okay, the how do we have theadults and the students exist
(27:56):
simultaneously, to where wearen't asking kids to be
something that they're not?
obviously respectful and don'tlike run through the halls going
nuts, but just generally beingable to have fun, laugh, yell,
be excited, be excited to behere.
I think we just need to makesure we have a place that's
conducive to their energy.
(28:17):
And I remember being a kidgoing to church when I was
little and I just went into theauditorium or the main service
with my parents and you did justhave to be quiet the entire
time.
You did not speak.
The pastor spoke the entiretime.
The only talking you?
The pastor spoke the entiretime.
The only talking you did was inthe form of singing hymns, but
(28:38):
other than that, your mouth wasshut.
There was no opportunity forsocialization or being fun, or
loud or funny or like there waseven getting to know anybody
else.
Yeah, it was just so.
Kids really need that and sogiving them a place within
reason that they can just bethem, it's so important.
So that fun, that engagement.
I love that Phil Wickham songthere's joy in the house of the
(29:01):
Lord today and we won't besilent.
You know, I think of that interms of youth ministry I'm like
, yes, you walk into my room onany given Sunday, saturday night
, tuesday, whatever we're doing,and there is joy in the house
of the Lord and they will not bequiet.
You know, and I think thatcomes from Psalm 122.1 where
it's talking about being excitedto go to the house of the Lord.
(29:24):
Well, what makes a kid excitedto go to the house of the Lord
while not sitting down andshutting up but being able to be
themselves?
And obviously they're not goingto be talking the whole time.
We have a message, but is thereroom to just be, be them, have
some energy out, have someconnection time.
That's so important.
(29:44):
And then what else do kids need?
They need a place where theycan serve or a way that they can
get involved beyond justattending.
So a youth group willdefinitely die if there's no way
for anybody to get involvedaside from attendance.
I told you guys my story.
I think church really wouldhave run its course for me had
(30:05):
someone not invited me to servewhen I was like 18 or something.
I think I just would have gotbored and just been like is this
all there is?
Like you just kind of listen topeople do ministry and
consumerism is not as nice as itsounds, and so if we're just
training students to beconsumers, I think they're going
to get bored really quickly.
(30:27):
Watching everyone else Likeit's like watching everyone else
play the game and you have tosit on the bench and it's like,
well, this is only fun for solong.
I want to get in there and play.
And so giving them.
Do we have an easy way to getstudents serving and involved?
Do they have, maybe?
(30:48):
I mean, I do that through theavenue of a student leadership
team and I assign them differentjobs based on their interests.
If you don't have a studentleadership team one you should,
but two you can just help plugpeople in through, like you
could do a serving interestsermon where you tell the kids
like, hey, if you're interestedin serving, here's some options
(31:11):
that junior hires or highschoolers can do at our church.
You can come early and help usset up.
You can work in the child careor the children's ministry.
They hate when we call it childcare, children's ministry
Babysitting club.
You can be a greeter.
You can work with therefreshments, like cutting the
donuts and putting out thecookies.
You can do, I don't knowwhatever your church offers but
(31:34):
yeah, talk with your seniorpastor and say can you give me
some jobs, some serving placesthat you think students would be
a good fit.
Because we have to teach them.
It's not like well, it's justfor the adults or worse, it's
just for the professionals.
You know that is such a drychurch to attend and then a
(31:57):
place where they're.
Another thing they need is aplace where they're challenged
and growing spiritually throughworship and the messages they've
got to hit.
So we've talked about worshipfor students before.
What not?
What do you like?
What do they like?
And don't get all pious and tryto make a theological argument
(32:18):
why your songs are better thantheirs or whatever.
As long as it's biblicallysound and it's worshiping God,
let them have it.
I think we need to be verycareful of taking where we're at
spiritually and thinking well,I'm a 30-year-old man and you're
12.
You should be where I'm at.
There's a reason kids like thesongs they like and there's a
(32:42):
reason kids like the shows theylike because it hits for them.
And if it's not bad and it'sworshiping God, let them have it
.
So that's where your message isas well.
Are we hitting them?
Are you just talking aboutthings you're interested in?
And, like you know, it was hardfor me not to talk about my
trip to Turkey with my students.
(33:03):
They do not care about it.
I care about it, I should careabout it.
But if I was 12 and my youthpastor was like and here's me at
the temple of Zeus and theAcropolis.
I'd be like check, please.
This is so boring, so make sureyou're creating messages that
hit them where they're at.
(33:25):
That's something that they needto hear, and I always know
that's happening for me whenthey look at each other.
So, like today, I saidsomething like an
acknowledgement.
Yes, like these two girls lookat each other like uh-oh or like
that was us or that alreadysaid six, seven, and they had
and then there's 41 41 who canfigure that one out?
Speaker 2 (33:47):
no, one one knows Sum 41.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
Hey, hey that was a band.
So, yeah, is our teaching andis it challenging enough too?
So, if a kid again.
Another way to get kids verybored at church is very surface,
mediocre, non-creative messages.
People are only going to put upwith that for so long.
I saw this meme the other dayand it was like this person
(34:11):
running and it's like when yourealize 20 minutes of a personal
story and a couple of versesisn't cutting it anymore and
they were like running away fromchurch and I thought, yeah,
like I think as youth pastors weare like, hey, I could
entertain you with a story aboutme when I fell off my bike and
then let's read John 3, 16 andcall it a day.
(34:33):
It's like if you were sick andthat's the best you could do,
fine for one day.
But if that's your teachingstyle, is that what you're
relying on and you never arechallenging students with
scripture.
They're going to think they'vemastered the Bible and that
there's nothing else for them,and I think that's how I thought
(34:54):
.
Going to church as a kid I waslike, let me guess, be good the
end, you know I just all I sawit as was moralism, like and in
today's episode of how to be agood person, uh, don't be
jealous the end.
And today's episode of how tobe a good person don't be
jealous the end.
In today's episode of how to bea good person share.
Speaker 2 (35:12):
Listen to your parents.
Eat your vegetables.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
Yeah, it was just like non-stimulating.
And so if we're challengingthem with larger theological
concepts that match wherethey're at and in a very
engaging way and our worship isengaging for a 12-year-old's ear
and they can pick it up and beexcited about it We've won.
So just be careful that you'rehitting them at their level,
(35:39):
where they're at, and some youthpastors mistake challenging
them like they raise thetheology so far above their
heads that you've just made itnon-accessible.
So, finding that sweet spot oflike you're going to be able to
follow me, but I'm going tochallenge you.
I think I talk about him allthe time, but I think Tim Keller
(36:00):
is the perfect example of thisis that his messages are so
simple yet so challenging, likeanyone could understand it.
It's not like he's flexing hisknowledge and you're like wow,
are we in a theology classroom?
But he sets you up to push youdown.
(36:21):
Honestly, it's like okay, Ifollow you, I follow you, I know
that.
Uh-huh, uh-huh, that makessense.
And then he comes with theapplication and the gut punch
and you're like I'm done, I'm,I'm toast you know, and it's
like you got me, you got meagain, and it's his messages are
so challenging, yet you canunderstand them and I think
(36:43):
that's the sweet spot forstudents Like don't let them off
easy and like, okay, so let'slike be generous people, make
sure you're tithing the end, youknow, but take them a level
deeper and get resources If youstruggle with your teaching.
You know I've talked about blueletter Bible before Amazing
(37:04):
commentary on every single bookand passage of the Bible.
Sorry, not blue letter Bible.
That one's good too.
That one's Chuck Smith, butenduring word is my absolute
favorite.
I can write, and he has sermonstoo.
So if you go to the commentaryyou can read it.
But then you can click on linksthat have sermons that he's
(37:25):
taught on that passage.
And that's when, like, my facemelted off and I was like, oh my
gosh, his name is David Guzik.
He's like such a powerfulteacher and it's like if that's
the only resource you ever hadfor sermon prep for the rest of
your life, it would be enough.
Project are super helpful.
(37:53):
So those are just like a fewlittle things.
You know, think of your sermonssometimes as research papers
and try to gather what are otherpeople saying.
What do I want to say?
What is God telling me?
You know you can't just alwaysrun to the commentary, but what
is God telling you?
To tell them as well.
It takes longer because youhave to listen for the Holy
Spirit and then you have to askyourself not only what do
students, are we meeting theneeds of these students?
But then ask yourself, kind ofgoing back to the relational
(38:16):
piece, not just do we have agood relationship with parents,
but are we meeting the needs ofparents?
So, if you notice, we're kindof like in three categories Are
we meeting the needs of leaders,relationships, relationships
and meeting the needs ofstudents, and relationships and
meeting the needs of parents.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
The three-legged stool.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
Yeah, and staff would be a part of that, like your
coworkers.
But I don't think that isnecessarily reflective of a
dying ministry.
It usually comes down to leader, students, parents,
relationship and needs being metare the two biggies.
So, for parents, meeting theneeds of parents, what do
parents need from us?
They need consistent meetingtimes.
(38:56):
Don't jump all over thecalendar.
And oh, we're going to meet.
Well, no, we're not going tomeet or we're going to cancel.
Oh, I'll let you know.
No, you meet the same time, thesame place, the same day, every
single week.
Parents need consistency.
There's too many things forthem to keep up with.
Yeah, especially if you workwith junior hires because they
(39:17):
don't drive yet.
So if you want to try to mix itup with high schoolers, I would
not recommend.
But it's you know, junior hiresare at the mercy of their
parents.
If you make it difficult forparents, especially non-church
parents, they're going to belike I don't think so.
Clear and concise and consistentcommunication with parents.
They need to be in the loop,just like your leaders do, of
(39:39):
what is going on.
What do we need to do, where dowe need to be?
And don't overdo.
We did a whole episode on howto email parents.
Well, I'm not going to talkabout the details here, you can
go back and listen to that.
But they need clear, conciseand consistent communication
with everything they need.
(40:00):
Another one we harp on on thispodcast quite a bit is this one
drives me crazy.
People in ministry can be maybeit's just people in general.
I work with a lot of people inministry so hard to get a
response from that is the mostinexcusable.
Look from youth pastor toparent.
Speaker 2 (40:18):
For people who are always on their phone too.
That's what always boggles mymind, Right yeah, you're like.
Every time I see you, you haveyour phone in your hand.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
That's just not what they want to be doing on their
phone, I guess.
But it want to be doing ontheir phone, I guess.
But it's like so you saw, yousaw that text, you saw that
email, you saw that phone calland then you ignored it.
Yeah, so we have a saying youhave 24 hours to respond to a
parent.
That is it.
After that, it's a bad look.
So parents are number one, andyour leaders as well, but number
(40:47):
one priority of communication,whether it's a text, an email, a
DM, a phone call, they deserveyou to get back to them.
And when you don't, and whenthey can't get ahold of you and,
heaven forbid, have to go aboveyou and talk to your boss, your
senior pastor, and say wasn'table to get ahold of the youth
pastor, oh my gosh To me, wasn'table to get a hold of the youth
(41:08):
pastor?
Oh my gosh To me.
That is like the cringiest,like.
Parents need to hear from us,be accessible and prompt with
your communication.
Your youth ministry overallneeds to be organized and
convenient, because that buildstrust.
The organization especiallybuilds trust with parents.
You need to look like you'vegot your stuff together, that
(41:30):
this isn't a hey, we just kindof show up and whatever happens
happens.
That's not a program parentswant to send their kids to do.
Are you a trustworthy adult?
There's a lot of adults who arenot trustworthy and parents are
freaked out about non likeespecially.
Imagine a parent with churchtrauma or church hurt and you
(41:52):
don't return, like, say, youtake their kid to the trampoline
park not just them, but like agroup of kids and you're a half
an hour late and you didn't sayanything to the parents and
they're just waiting there atthe church wondering what's
going on.
Or you didn't have permissionslips available and you their
kid got hurt on your watch butyou didn't even think to have
the permission slip, so youcan't even call the parent to
(42:13):
tell them you know, your kidtwisted their ankle or something
.
So just be responsible with theministry, be organized and earn
the trust of parents that wayand then seek to engage them.
Talk to the parents, try to getto know them, go after them,
don't avoid them.
I think sometimes youth pastorsavoid parents or see almost
(42:34):
parents as the enemy.
Speaker 2 (42:35):
Like.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
I've heard so many youth pastors kind of roll their
eyes.
Oh, the parents, the parents,they're not that bad, they're
just.
You know, like they're not theenemy, they are your advocate
and they can be your biggestraving fan If you'll let them be
your best friend, your worstenemy you seem to prefer the
latter cable guy reference Um,and all of this builds trust as
(43:00):
we engage them, as we'refriendly, and all of that.
So those are the big areas I canpoint you to If you're trying
to revive a dying youth groupLeaders, students, parents are
we meeting their needs and do wehave positive relationships?
That will take you so far.
And then, as we talked about inthe first half, what is your
(43:22):
specific data telling you aboutthe program?
Because those three areas aregeneralities for every ministry,
but you need to get deep intothe nitty gritty of like, what
are we doing that isn't workingfor people and you analyze that
data.
And if you can do the firsthalf and second half of what we
talked about, I think you know.
(43:44):
Obviously bathed in prayer andseeking the Lord and his
guidance.
Obviously bathed in prayer andseeking the.
Lord and his guidance, you canhopefully revive any youth group
.
Speaker 2 (43:54):
I think it's possible .
Yeah, it's kind of like gettingthat diagnosis from a doctor.
You know you may not want tohear it, but until you know what
you're dealing with you can'treally have any treatment
towards improving it Totally.
So you have to go through thathard time before you can see any
light.
You had mentioned the emailepisode that we did.
I will link that below, so makesure you check that out.
And also, if you kind of wantto go deeper on some practical
(44:14):
things to do, especially ifyou're working at a not just a
dying youth ministry but a dyingchurch overall, we have an
episode dedicated to that, somake sure you check that one out
.
All right, this is a communitycomment of the day.
This comes from Ryan Baines,who says been listening to you
guys for about six months nowand it's been so beneficial in
so many ways.
I'm 41 officially today Happybelated birthday but very new to
(44:38):
the youth leadership game andI'm a part of an amazing team at
Compassion City Youth and thishas given us so many ideas.
It's also nice to know we'renot the only ones dealing with
some of the struggles we face.
The youth ministry struggle isreal Praying for you guys, your
ministry, and for continuedsuccess and growth.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
Love that.
Thanks, Ryan.
That's really awesome.
Thank you, Ryan Love thatAppreciate that Well.
Speaker 2 (45:01):
Thank you guys for watching and listening and we'll
see you next time.
Speaker 1 (45:04):
Today, we're talking about the best practices for
what.
Today, we're talking about thebest practices for what the best
email practices, best practices, the best email practices.
Today, we're talking about thebest practices.
Are we meeting their needs and do we have positive
relationships?
That will take you so far.
What is your specific datatelling you about the program?
Do you feel like your youthministry is dying?
Then stick around, becausetoday we're going to give you
practical ways of how you canrevive it.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Welcome to the Ministry Coach Podcast, where I
give you weekly tips and tacticsto help you fast-track the
growth and health of your youthministry.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
My name is Jeff Laskola and this is Kristen
Laskola, and today we aretalking about how to revive a
dying youth group.
So sad Can be a verydiscouraging time when you feel
like you've either walked into adying youth group, like maybe
(00:57):
you're new and it's just notthriving, or maybe you sense
that the youth ministry you'realready leading is just not it
right now and you're strugglingand we've talked about this
before.
As youth pastors we start totake this stuff personally.
We think something's wrong withus, we are horrible people and
(01:20):
even like on a kind of justsimpler level, you feel like
nobody likes me, like nobodylikes me, everybody hates me.
I guess I'll go Yorm.
So it can be a tough season toget out of because the sadness,
the insecurity, the depression,they kind of all start building
(01:42):
up and you just sort of feeldisabled in it all, like I can't
do anything.
I don't even know where tostart or what to do.
And we're going to help youtoday kind of get through that
and hopefully come out the otherside and see that there are
things you can do and ways tokind of like jump start, put a
little adu aed, what are theycalled?
Speaker 2 (02:05):
they're like yeah, I know what you mean.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
It's not adu, though put it adu on here and rent it
out and make a little sideincome.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Aud ae aed, and I don't know what it stands for.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
It's a defibrillator.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Defibrillator yeah, isn't it?
Aed.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
I think so.
I feel like there's a U inthere.
I'm going to say aorticelectronic defibrillator?
Speaker 2 (02:32):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
All right, that was irrelevant.
It was supposed to be a simpleillustration that we moved past
very quickly.
However, here we are.
So here's step one.
Step one is if you're new tothis youth group and it's dying
and you're like trying todiagnose what's going on, that
(02:55):
needs to be your first step.
I've got to diagnose theproblem, or the problems.
Chances are it's not just onething, chances are it's probably
a few different things.
So what you need to do is puton your detective hat and get
really, really curious.
You need to ask a lot ofquestions and this doesn't apply
(03:16):
just if you're new.
If you're in a church and yousense the youth group is dying
and you've been there for awhile, it still applies.
So you need to ask questionsand the type of questions you
need to ask depends on the groupyou're asking, and there's a
few key groups that you need tostart to interview and
investigate and bring togetherfor groups and feedback, and
(03:40):
that would be leaders you knowlike whoever your team is the
team that's there?
Who do you work alongside in theyouth ministry?
The other adults, thevolunteers.
You need to ask them a ton ofquestions.
You need to ask the parents alot of questions and you need to
ask the students a lot ofquestions.
So here's what we're trying tofigure out by asking these
(04:03):
questions.
So why aren't students engagingwith what we're doing?
And obviously that's a verycomplicated question and
everyone will probably have adifferent opinion.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
And how would you pitch that question so as to get
to the heart of the problem andnot just kind of get arbitrary?
Well, this is my opinion, youknow.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
And the opinions, actually, you know Well, and the
opinions, actually, you knowI'm going to talk about how to
digest the data in a second, butopinions actually might start
telling a story you know.
So you can kind of say like doyou feel like our youth group is
essential for your?
Let's say you're talking to theparents for your child.
(04:43):
Is our youth group at thischurch essential?
Why or why not?
Is it essential to your child'sum spiritual development?
Why or why not?
What is the overall feedbackyour child gives you when they
come home?
If it's hard to get your childto come, why do they say that is
?
Speaker 2 (05:01):
because, I've.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
I've talked to youth pastors before that say parents
are like dragging their kids toyouth group, so the child must
be giving you some feedback.
Why don't you like?
Speaker 2 (05:11):
it.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
What is missing, what's going on.
And so, hearing that from aparent's perspective, if they're
willing to tell you, and thenmaybe talking through like, hey,
we had an event, what was itthat would prompt you to sign up
or not sign up for an event Ifyou're having trouble coming or
getting people to come to yourevents, is this program a
priority for your family?
(05:32):
Why or why not?
And then, like talking to yourleaders, are you excited to
serve here?
Is this a highlight of yourweek or does this is kind of
always this looming Wednesdaynight that you're dreading why.
You know, and I think you'regoing to have to be really brave
to ask these questions and it'sgoing to be difficult, because
(05:53):
if you already feel like you'redown, then asking these
questions can kick you whileyou're down.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
Expose you to more.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Exactly, and I was teaching my students this
morning.
We were talking about gettingout of our comfort zone for the
sake of the gospel.
I was telling them like, hey,one time our kid, who was two at
the time, woke up in the middleof the night and couldn't
breathe.
And I woke you up and we werefreaking out.
We called 911, go out to theambulance.
(06:21):
They ended up taking her to thehospital and it wasn't until I
got inside that I realized Ilook like a disaster, like I'm
in my pajamas, no shoes on, nomakeup, on my side bun is
melting off my head, my hair isfrayed and everywhere.
I looked awful, but the urgencyof the situation superseded my
(06:44):
need to like oh, do these shoes?
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Matt hold on.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
I know you can't breathe, but I can't find my
earrings.
You know, because you realizethe urgency of the situation
supersedes your comfort.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
To put that in the context of what we're talking
about today and to close theloop on that, she was fine, it
was croup.
Yes, it was croup.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
And it was very scary because two year olds can't
communicate well how they'refeeling anyways.
It was like, okay, it's goingto be difficult for you to maybe
hear, but the only way to getthrough is through.
You know what I mean.
Like, if we want to get throughthis season, you might have to
sacrifice your comfort, how youlook to others and even to
(07:27):
yourself, because the urgency ofthe situation is we're on life
support here.
So, yes, I might look foolishbecause I'm exposed now to
feedback and criticism andthings that might be difficult
for me to hear, but the only wayto improve is I have to hear
them, I have to understand themand put them all together and
(07:49):
and digest.
Like what does this mean?
So, when do you get some ofthose answers?
And that could be like hey,we're having a parent breakfast
and I'm inviting all the parentsand I have some questions.
You could send out a survey, ifyou don't want to do it face to
face, and hopefully get someresponses back.
You could do a leader night atyour house and talk to the
leaders.
You could do a little smallgroup with the students and get
(08:11):
their feedback on what do youlove about youth group, what do
you not love about youth group?
Would you invite a friend here?
Why or why not?
What areas do you look forwardto?
What areas do you dread?
Is this the highlight of yourweek?
Why or why not?
So then you put it all togetherand you start to look for
patterns Because, like you said,sometimes people will have like
(08:31):
a one-off opinion.
Like I remember a kid once islike I think it's just like so
boring how you only havepepperoni and cheese pizza.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
I was like okay well, I don't care.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
You know, go get your own pizza.
But if you start to noticethings that are more of a
pattern of like everyone says,it's at a really inconvenient
time.
Sunday night is a family night.
We're getting ready for schoolthe next day.
It just doesn't fit with ourschedule.
Or maybe someone is saying, oryou're hearing leaders say we
(09:01):
never know what's going on, wedon't feel like ready when we
come and you're hard to get ahold of, like those are things
that's like, ah, if like one ortwo, three people are starting
to say this, then maybe this iswhat you put.
You kind of take the data,maybe, put it in an Excel sheet
or some kind of document andcategorize it.
(09:22):
Okay, this is the complaints wehave about program.
This is the complaints we haveabout communication.
This is the complaints we haveabout schedule.
This is the complaints we haveabout relationships or lack
thereof or whatever it might be,and you start to kind of like
you're an investigator of yourown ministry of, like, what is
(09:43):
the data that you've gatheredtelling you?
And this process could take awhile, and so being really
patient with trying to ask goodquestions, trying to touch base
with as many people as possible,trying to elicit really honest
responses you know honestresponses, you know.
(10:06):
So sometimes, if it has to dowith you, people are going to be
kind of hesitant to say, whichobviously I think we all are
trying to save people's feelings.
So try to ask things that don'thave to do with you but have to
do with something moreobjective you know, like the
program or the schedule orwhatever it might be, Do you
feel like you're growingspiritually here?
Why or why not?
That's very different thanasking am I a good teacher?
(10:28):
So it's like, yes, you know, Isaw this artist.
I don't think he was an artist,I think he just bought a bunch
of paintings on Amazon and we'reselling them at the beach the
other day and he's like do youlike this painting?
I was like, yeah, well then whydon't you buy it?
I'm like I painting.
I was like, yeah, well then,why don't you buy it?
I'm like I didn't know what tosay.
But it's like if an artist asksyou do you like my painting,
there's only one answer yes,like.
(10:51):
So if you say, am I a goodteacher?
Yes, am I a good youth pastor?
Uh-huh, but you have to askabout the fruit Like are you
growing spiritually?
Do you have a betterunderstanding of scripture?
(11:23):
Do you feel engaged when weworship?
Are these songs hitting for you?
Do you feel like you haveopportunities to make friends
here?
So you ask about the fruit, notthe procedure, you know,
because that won't ever get youan honest response, I guess.
So, once you kind of have thatdata and you figure out, okay,
is this telling me a story?
Am I noticing patterns?
What can I do?
Here's some areas that you canmove on to that are tried and
true that probably will addresssome of the things you're
finding anyways.
Oh and, by the way, I wouldreally pray over that data of
just like that God would showyou what he needs, to show you
(11:45):
as you kind of analyze whatpeople are saying, the general
feeling out there, and that hewould just kind of like speak
through that and give you wisdomand direction here, and then
you kind of move on to this ideathat healthy ministry is always
built on healthy relationships,first and foremost, and there's
(12:06):
really no way around that.
Like that is like the corefoundation of every single thing
we do.
It's relationships.
So I would, if you feel likeyour youth ministry is dying, I
would laser focus on this areaof relationships.
And so I mean the obviousrelationship here is your
relationship with God.
(12:26):
Obviously, right, that is themost important.
But here's the truth.
I know people that are on firefor God have an amazing
relationship, are following himclosely, are deeply in love with
Jesus, and it doesn't meantheir youth ministry is going
well.
It doesn't mean they know how todo their job.
On the contrary.
(12:47):
I know people and I've seenthat dozens of times.
You love the Lord, are verysincere, you're passionate about
youth.
You just like don't know how topiece together youth ministry.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
And then, on the contrary, I mean, how many times
have we seen someone who endsup having a whole double life or
is far from the heart of Godand their ministry was bursting
at the seams?
So all I'm saying is, as wemove through this content, I'm
assuming that your relationshipwith God is what it should be.
(13:21):
That is always first andforemost.
Your relationship with God iswhat it should be.
That is always first andforemost.
You know, as a pastor, we can'thope to like pour out of an
empty cup and we can't hope toteach something that we don't
experience on a daily basis forourselves.
Your relationship with God isnumber one.
So here's what we need to do isfigure out your relationship
(13:42):
with your leaders, your staff,your team, whoever that is you
with them and them with eachother.
Camaraderie is like an it factor, according to Craig Groeschel,
in churches that just have itLike.
How do you define like?
They just have it Like it'sjust electric, and camaraderie
(14:06):
is part of that and it's veryobvious to anyone who steps on.
It was like there's a buzzbetween the people, there's love
and affection and connectionthere, and it has to start
between you and your team andyour team, with your team.
That is the foundation ofministry.
So if your youth ministry isdying, I would, yes, do the data
(14:26):
analysis that we just talkedabout, but foundationally, what
is our relationship culture likeamong the team?
And that is like what tricklesout to the rest of the youth
ministry.
There, literally is nothing.
If your team is not good, thereis no hope.
You know what I mean.
(14:47):
Like that, if the leadersaren't getting along, if the
leaders aren't connected, if theleaders aren't unified, Well,
there's no hope if you don't doanything.
Absolutely yes, if you're justlike well, people don't get
along oh well, you know, it iswhat it is.
Yeah, no, we've got to bearchitects of this relational
(15:08):
culture for our ministry.
It doesn't always just happennaturally, but you, as the
pastor or the ministry lead, arethe catalyst for this.
So you need to have a very good, solid, connected relationship
with every single one of yourleaders.
And you need to have a verygood, solid, connected
relationship with every singleone of your leaders, and you
need to foster opportunities forthem to have camaraderie and
(15:30):
relationship with each other.
You know and that comes in theform of all kinds of things like
celebrations.
You know, celebrating winstogether, having fun together,
celebrating God, god, storieslike oh, look what happened in
this small group and this wasamazing.
And then just celebrating lifewith each other birthdays or
(15:51):
going away parties, or you know,what do we do when someone is
sick?
Um, do we take care of eachother.
You know, and that's like Ialways look at them as like my,
my small group.
You know, I, and that's like Ialways look at them as like my,
my small group you know I don'tlead a small group.
They're my small group so that Ican focus all my time, energy
(16:11):
and relational bandwidth on themand make sure we are healthy,
because that's where a growing,thriving youth ministry begins.
So and then the truth is, nomatter how good of a youth
pastor you are maybe you're anexcellent teacher, maybe you're
highly organized, maybe you'resuper fun and magnetic and all
(16:31):
the kids love you the truth is,no matter how good you are, you
will not last in youth ministrywithout that team around you and
the strength of that team iswhat will carry you into
longevity and when that'sunhealthy, or when you feel like
(16:54):
you've got this and you willquickly realize you will only
make it so far.
You might be able to have ayouth group of like 12 kids, and
then that will be your ceilingand your limit, and that's even
stretching it.
I always use 12 as an example,because that's how many
disciples.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Jesus had.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
So you spend every.
If you're in emergency lifesupport mode, then you need to
spend every single day,literally every single day build
, finding a way to buildrelationships with your team
before you do anything else.
So examples of that one-on-oneswith people grabbing coffee,
(17:27):
grabbing lunch, going on a walk,hanging out, doing whatever,
but spending one-on-one timewith your team, brainstorming
sessions, inviting them into theministry process.
Like hey, what does your perfectyouth group look like?
What from your perspective?
We all sit on a different seatin the bus.
We see things differently.
Like what do you think wouldmake our youth group more
(17:48):
impactful?
Do you see an area of lack?
Do you see an area that if youwere I always ask it this way if
you were in charge, if you satin my seat, what would you do
next?
Or what would you dodifferently?
Or what would you get rid of?
What would you add?
You, you know, imagine I justpass you the steering wheel and
you can take this thing anywhere.
It's amazing what you'll hear.
Find out again.
(18:09):
You need to be humble and listento that skin yes, and then
obviously hangout time, fun time, just celebratory type of
things.
I'm looking for any excuse tocelebrate with my team.
A couple got engaged.
We're throwing a party.
One of them's moving to Hawaii.
We're throwing a party.
We are the end of a really bigevent project season.
(18:33):
In October we're going on aretreat and throwing a party.
We just did summer camp and itwas exhausting and we're all
depleted and tired.
We're throwing a celebrationfor all of our hard work.
I look for any opportunity forfun and celebration and look
what we did.
So that's a way.
And you know encouragement cards.
(18:53):
I love writing my teamencouragement like just like a
literal card or a text or avoice text or something like
that.
And depending on how, not thatyou have to be in complete dire
straits to pray and fast foryour ministry.
It always seems like more oflike an emergency move or
(19:15):
something.
But do you guys pray for theministry together?
If you feel like, yeah, you'reon life support, why not call a
fast and you guys all do thattogether?
We did that once.
The ministry was terrible.
It was like I dreaded it everysingle day, cause the kids were
not picking up anything we wereputting down.
Their behavior was like thepower balance flipped and they
(19:40):
it was mayhem.
It was mutiny and I'm like Ifeel like I work in a prison, I
don't feel like I work at achurch and you could just notice
it.
Suck the life out of all of uswe were all just going through
the motions and dreading.
It was not life-giving anymoreand I was like, hey, if this is
a spiritual battle, we need aspiritual weapon.
And we just prayed and fastedfor our ministry.
(20:02):
Maybe that will bring you guystogether, maybe that will show
them.
Hey, I'm serious about thisthing breathing, like getting
life breathed back into it, andwe need some major spiritual
intervention here.
And I remember I sent them kindof prayer prompts throughout
the day.
Okay, for this hour, when youthink of it, let's pray for the
(20:22):
parents and wisdom of leadingtheir children.
Let's pray for the students.
Okay, for this hour when youthink of it, let's pray for the
parents and wisdom of leadingtheir children.
Let's pray for the students.
Let's pray for us.
Let's pray for you know, maybea specific situation that was
very difficult, someone by name.
So we were just praying,praying, praying, praying and
honestly it worked, like ourministry, like all of a sudden
(20:43):
I'm like I recognize this place,like this is this is the?
Not that I expect it to be allsunshine and rainbows every day,
but it was.
It was dark, it was not good orhealthy at all.
So we needed to come togetherand just like cry out to God,
like we need you as a team, andthat, I think, really bonded us
(21:05):
and brought the Holy Spirit likefull, like power, into our
ministry and it was so like ohmy gosh, like we charged this
hill together and it was reallycool.
So assess that.
What are the relationships likewith my team and what are the
(21:27):
relationships like you have tofigure out with parents?
Have we lost trust with parents?
Because that's part of it.
You need to look at yourrelationship with the students
as well.
I'm not going to spend as muchtime on those, because I think
the foundation of a ministry isthe team and those relationships
, but as a youth pastor,obviously you need to have good
(21:48):
relationships with the studentsas well.
Like, do they see you assomeone they can talk to?
Do you pursue them?
Are you excited to see them?
Are you on their level?
Are you accessible?
All of those things Are you forthem?
Is this like?
Are you too hard on them?
Is this like school and notlike youth groups?
You know, and winning over theparents as well.
(22:10):
So you kind of have to maintainall those areas of relationship
.
So and that alone could takemonths to rebuild, but any
ministry that's healthy will bebuilt on a foundation of healthy
relationships.
So then next, what you want todo is assess the question are we
meeting the needs of ourstudents?
(22:31):
So we just talked a little bitbriefly about our relationship
with students and how that needsto be healthy.
However, do we actually knowwhat students need, and are we
meeting them?
So here's a few things that Ithink are non-negotiables.
Here's what students need fromtheir youth group.
They need significantrelationships where they are
(22:55):
known, loved, accepted andcelebrated, and by that I mean
people show up to church oryouth group every week and
hoping they will be met withenthusiasm.
That's why I use the wordcelebrated.
So when somebody walks throughthe door, is it up to them to be
(23:19):
?
Okay, where do I fit in?
Okay, people are playing a gameover here.
Should I go over here?
It's kind of that there you areor here I am mentality, but
like making a big deal aboutthem.
Oh my gosh, jeff, I'm so happyyou're here.
We're playing four square getin line, how was your weekend?
And when we make sure peoplefeel celebrated, like I am so
(23:41):
grateful for your presence here,I'm so happy you're here, I
noticed that you're here, I'mwelcoming you, I'm getting you
plugged in, I'm including you,assimilating you all of that.
They need to show up withsomeone being so excited that
they're there and that justwarms the heart, breaks down the
(24:04):
walls and the ice.
And don't ever take students'reaction as much of an indicator
, because they might be likefine, but then they go home so
excited like, oh my gosh, theyknow my name.
You know, calling them by name.
That's one of the first thingsI used to teach my volunteers is
(24:24):
always call students by theirname.
That is so important.
And sometimes I don't knowtheir name and they'll ask me,
do you know my name?
And I'll be like I think so,like that's the worst feeling
when you actually don't knowtheir name.
So always call them by name,get so excited and then make
(24:47):
sure they're being plugged intorelationships with adults.
But there we have this girl.
Her name is Hope and I call herJoy all the time and I'll be
like Joy, I'm so happy you'rehere, and she'll just like, look
at me, like so annoyed, and I'mlike that's not your name, is
(25:07):
it?
I do it all the time.
In fact, today I played happybirthday joy on the no thing.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
I don't know if she noticed because today was her
birthday I don't know becauseshe just looks so joyful you
know, just say you're saying itas like an exclamation joy, I'm
so happy to see you.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
I feel joy, and, and then I figured out a way to
remember and I would say Don'tsay the first name, I think,
think about what it actually is.
No, like from Snow White.
When I would see her I'd go hiHope, hi Hope, and she like
would look at me and she's likeis that annoying?
She's like kind of.
(25:53):
I was like well then I guess I'mcalling you joy seems like it's
working really well.
Okay, so they need significantrelationships where they're
known, loved, accepted,celebrated.
What else do they need?
They need fun, a place meantfor them where they can be 12 or
13, 14, whatever age you workat with.
When I was younger, there was acommercial on TV for Chuck E
(26:15):
Cheese and it would go Chuck ECheese's.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Where a kid can be a kid.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
Yeah, and I loved that.
So glad you finished.
And that's sometimes how I feelabout church and youth group
like sometimes I feel likechurches are like you can be
here but don't touch anything.
You can be here, but you betterbe quiet.
You can be here, but no morecookies for you.
(26:42):
You know, like it's just likewe're trying to protect the
church from the youth group orno, that's a full-time job it
really is, but I think creatinga place that's like well, we're
not forcing our kids to workaround the adult service, we're
creating a space that's meantfor your energy and your need
for some excitement and to beloud and you know it's so hard.
(27:06):
We used to play this gameoutside at church, but then we
moved a venue to outside becauseour church is growing too much.
And so now, like they were like, well, the kids are too loud
and the people can't hear thesermon, so you need to keep them
quiet.
And finally I just gave up andI'm like we just can't because,
you know, then I'm like asking,I'd be like, okay, have fun, but
(27:26):
quiet fun.
Well, I would like make it arule but quiet, fun.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
Well, I would like make it a rule, like it's called
silent gaga ball, and if youtalk you're out.
You know kids see through that,like at four years old.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
It was not working, so we don't play it anymore and
I'm so thankful I have a greatroom and we can play inside, but
the days of us playing gamesoutside is gone, because, you
know, no one's fault.
It's a good problem to have hergrowing, but it it was like
okay, the how do we have theadults and the students exist
(27:56):
simultaneously, to where wearen't asking kids to be
something that they're not?
obviously respectful and don'tlike run through the halls going
nuts, but just generally beingable to have fun, laugh, yell,
be excited, be excited to behere.
I think we just need to makesure we have a place that's
conducive to their energy.
(28:17):
And I remember being a kidgoing to church when I was
little and I just went into theauditorium or the main service
with my parents and you did justhave to be quiet the entire
time.
You did not speak.
The pastor spoke the entiretime.
The only talking you?
The pastor spoke the entiretime.
The only talking you did was inthe form of singing hymns, but
(28:38):
other than that, your mouth wasshut.
There was no opportunity forsocialization or being fun, or
loud or funny or like there waseven getting to know anybody
else.
Yeah, it was just so.
Kids really need that and sogiving them a place within
reason that they can just bethem, it's so important.
So that fun, that engagement.
I love that Phil Wickham songthere's joy in the house of the
(29:01):
Lord today and we won't besilent.
You know, I think of that interms of youth ministry I'm like
, yes, you walk into my room onany given Sunday, saturday night
, tuesday, whatever we're doing,and there is joy in the house
of the Lord and they will not bequiet.
You know, and I think thatcomes from Psalm 122.1 where
it's talking about being excitedto go to the house of the Lord.
(29:24):
Well, what makes a kid excitedto go to the house of the Lord
while not sitting down andshutting up but being able to be
themselves?
And obviously they're not goingto be talking the whole time.
We have a message, but is thereroom to just be, be them, have
some energy out, have someconnection time.
That's so important.
(29:44):
And then what else do kids need?
They need a place where theycan serve or a way that they can
get involved beyond justattending.
So a youth group willdefinitely die if there's no way
for anybody to get involvedaside from attendance.
I told you guys my story.
I think church really wouldhave run its course for me had
(30:05):
someone not invited me to servewhen I was like 18 or something.
I think I just would have gotbored and just been like is this
all there is?
Like you just kind of listen topeople do ministry and
consumerism is not as nice as itsounds, and so if we're just
training students to beconsumers, I think they're going
to get bored really quickly.
(30:27):
Watching everyone else Likeit's like watching everyone else
play the game and you have tosit on the bench and it's like,
well, this is only fun for solong.
I want to get in there and play.
And so giving them.
Do we have an easy way to getstudents serving and involved?
Do they have, maybe?
(30:48):
I mean, I do that through theavenue of a student leadership
team and I assign them differentjobs based on their interests.
If you don't have a studentleadership team one you should,
but two you can just help plugpeople in through, like you
could do a serving interestsermon where you tell the kids
like, hey, if you're interestedin serving, here's some options
(31:11):
that junior hires or highschoolers can do at our church.
You can come early and help usset up.
You can work in the child careor the children's ministry.
They hate when we call it childcare, children's ministry
Babysitting club.
You can be a greeter.
You can work with therefreshments, like cutting the
donuts and putting out thecookies.
You can do, I don't knowwhatever your church offers but
(31:34):
yeah, talk with your seniorpastor and say can you give me
some jobs, some serving placesthat you think students would be
a good fit.
Because we have to teach them.
It's not like well, it's justfor the adults or worse, it's
just for the professionals.
You know that is such a drychurch to attend and then a
(31:57):
place where they're.
Another thing they need is aplace where they're challenged
and growing spiritually throughworship and the messages they've
got to hit.
So we've talked about worshipfor students before.
What not?
What do you like?
What do they like?
And don't get all pious and tryto make a theological argument
(32:18):
why your songs are better thantheirs or whatever.
As long as it's biblicallysound and it's worshiping God,
let them have it.
I think we need to be verycareful of taking where we're at
spiritually and thinking well,I'm a 30-year-old man and you're
12.
You should be where I'm at.
There's a reason kids like thesongs they like and there's a
(32:42):
reason kids like the shows theylike because it hits for them.
And if it's not bad and it'sworshiping God, let them have it
.
So that's where your message isas well.
Are we hitting them?
Are you just talking aboutthings you're interested in?
And, like you know, it was hardfor me not to talk about my
trip to Turkey with my students.
(33:03):
They do not care about it.
I care about it, I should careabout it.
But if I was 12 and my youthpastor was like and here's me at
the temple of Zeus and theAcropolis.
I'd be like check, please.
This is so boring, so make sureyou're creating messages that
hit them where they're at.
(33:25):
That's something that they needto hear, and I always know
that's happening for me whenthey look at each other.
So, like today, I saidsomething like an
acknowledgement.
Yes, like these two girls lookat each other like uh-oh or like
that was us or that alreadysaid six, seven, and they had
and then there's 41 41 who canfigure that one out?
Speaker 2 (33:47):
no, one one knows Sum 41.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
Hey, hey that was a band.
So, yeah, is our teaching andis it challenging enough too?
So, if a kid again.
Another way to get kids verybored at church is very surface,
mediocre, non-creative messages.
People are only going to put upwith that for so long.
I saw this meme the other dayand it was like this person
(34:11):
running and it's like when yourealize 20 minutes of a personal
story and a couple of versesisn't cutting it anymore and
they were like running away fromchurch and I thought, yeah,
like I think as youth pastors weare like, hey, I could
entertain you with a story aboutme when I fell off my bike and
then let's read John 3, 16 andcall it a day.
(34:33):
It's like if you were sick andthat's the best you could do,
fine for one day.
But if that's your teachingstyle, is that what you're
relying on and you never arechallenging students with
scripture.
They're going to think they'vemastered the Bible and that
there's nothing else for them,and I think that's how I thought
(34:54):
.
Going to church as a kid I waslike, let me guess, be good the
end, you know I just all I sawit as was moralism, like and in
today's episode of how to be agood person, uh, don't be
jealous the end.
And today's episode of how tobe a good person don't be
jealous the end.
In today's episode of how to bea good person share.
Speaker 2 (35:12):
Listen to your parents.
Eat your vegetables.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
Yeah, it was just like non-stimulating.
And so if we're challengingthem with larger theological
concepts that match wherethey're at and in a very
engaging way and our worship isengaging for a 12-year-old's ear
and they can pick it up and beexcited about it We've won.
So just be careful that you'rehitting them at their level,
(35:39):
where they're at, and some youthpastors mistake challenging
them like they raise thetheology so far above their
heads that you've just made itnon-accessible.
So, finding that sweet spot oflike you're going to be able to
follow me, but I'm going tochallenge you.
I think I talk about him allthe time, but I think Tim Keller
(36:00):
is the perfect example of thisis that his messages are so
simple yet so challenging, likeanyone could understand it.
It's not like he's flexing hisknowledge and you're like wow,
are we in a theology classroom?
But he sets you up to push youdown.
(36:21):
Honestly, it's like okay, Ifollow you, I follow you, I know
that.
Uh-huh, uh-huh, that makessense.
And then he comes with theapplication and the gut punch
and you're like I'm done, I'm,I'm toast you know, and it's
like you got me, you got meagain, and it's his messages are
so challenging, yet you canunderstand them and I think
(36:43):
that's the sweet spot forstudents Like don't let them off
easy and like, okay, so let'slike be generous people, make
sure you're tithing the end, youknow, but take them a level
deeper and get resources If youstruggle with your teaching.
You know I've talked about blueletter Bible before Amazing
(37:04):
commentary on every single bookand passage of the Bible.
Sorry, not blue letter Bible.
That one's good too.
That one's Chuck Smith, butenduring word is my absolute
favorite.
I can write, and he has sermonstoo.
So if you go to the commentaryyou can read it.
But then you can click on linksthat have sermons that he's
(37:25):
taught on that passage.
And that's when, like, my facemelted off and I was like, oh my
gosh, his name is David Guzik.
He's like such a powerfulteacher and it's like if that's
the only resource you ever hadfor sermon prep for the rest of
your life, it would be enough.
Project are super helpful.
(37:53):
So those are just like a fewlittle things.
You know, think of your sermonssometimes as research papers
and try to gather what are otherpeople saying.
What do I want to say?
What is God telling me?
You know you can't just alwaysrun to the commentary, but what
is God telling you?
To tell them as well.
It takes longer because youhave to listen for the Holy
Spirit and then you have to askyourself not only what do
students, are we meeting theneeds of these students?
But then ask yourself, kind ofgoing back to the relational
(38:16):
piece, not just do we have agood relationship with parents,
but are we meeting the needs ofparents?
So, if you notice, we're kindof like in three categories Are
we meeting the needs of leaders,relationships, relationships
and meeting the needs ofstudents, and relationships and
meeting the needs of parents.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
The three-legged stool.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
Yeah, and staff would be a part of that, like your
coworkers.
But I don't think that isnecessarily reflective of a
dying ministry.
It usually comes down to leader, students, parents,
relationship and needs being metare the two biggies.
So, for parents, meeting theneeds of parents, what do
parents need from us?
They need consistent meetingtimes.
(38:56):
Don't jump all over thecalendar.
And oh, we're going to meet.
Well, no, we're not going tomeet or we're going to cancel.
Oh, I'll let you know.
No, you meet the same time, thesame place, the same day, every
single week.
Parents need consistency.
There's too many things forthem to keep up with.
Yeah, especially if you workwith junior hires because they
(39:17):
don't drive yet.
So if you want to try to mix itup with high schoolers, I would
not recommend.
But it's you know, junior hiresare at the mercy of their
parents.
If you make it difficult forparents, especially non-church
parents, they're going to belike I don't think so.
Clear and concise and consistentcommunication with parents.
They need to be in the loop,just like your leaders do, of
(39:39):
what is going on.
What do we need to do, where dowe need to be?
And don't overdo.
We did a whole episode on howto email parents.
Well, I'm not going to talkabout the details here, you can
go back and listen to that.
But they need clear, conciseand consistent communication
with everything they need.
(40:00):
Another one we harp on on thispodcast quite a bit is this one
drives me crazy.
People in ministry can be maybeit's just people in general.
I work with a lot of people inministry so hard to get a
response from that is the mostinexcusable.
Look from youth pastor toparent.
Speaker 2 (40:18):
For people who are always on their phone too.
That's what always boggles mymind, Right yeah, you're like.
Every time I see you, you haveyour phone in your hand.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
That's just not what they want to be doing on their
phone, I guess.
But it want to be doing ontheir phone, I guess.
But it's like so you saw, yousaw that text, you saw that
email, you saw that phone calland then you ignored it.
Yeah, so we have a saying youhave 24 hours to respond to a
parent.
That is it.
After that, it's a bad look.
So parents are number one, andyour leaders as well, but number
(40:47):
one priority of communication,whether it's a text, an email, a
DM, a phone call, they deserveyou to get back to them.
And when you don't, and whenthey can't get ahold of you and,
heaven forbid, have to go aboveyou and talk to your boss, your
senior pastor, and say wasn'table to get ahold of the youth
pastor, oh my gosh To me, wasn'table to get a hold of the youth
(41:08):
pastor?
Oh my gosh To me.
That is like the cringiest,like.
Parents need to hear from us,be accessible and prompt with
your communication.
Your youth ministry overallneeds to be organized and
convenient, because that buildstrust.
The organization especiallybuilds trust with parents.
You need to look like you'vegot your stuff together, that
(41:30):
this isn't a hey, we just kindof show up and whatever happens
happens.
That's not a program parentswant to send their kids to do.
Are you a trustworthy adult?
There's a lot of adults who arenot trustworthy and parents are
freaked out about non likeespecially.
Imagine a parent with churchtrauma or church hurt and you
(41:52):
don't return, like, say, youtake their kid to the trampoline
park not just them, but like agroup of kids and you're a half
an hour late and you didn't sayanything to the parents and
they're just waiting there atthe church wondering what's
going on.
Or you didn't have permissionslips available and you their
kid got hurt on your watch butyou didn't even think to have
the permission slip, so youcan't even call the parent to
(42:13):
tell them you know, your kidtwisted their ankle or something
.
So just be responsible with theministry, be organized and earn
the trust of parents that wayand then seek to engage them.
Talk to the parents, try to getto know them, go after them,
don't avoid them.
I think sometimes youth pastorsavoid parents or see almost
(42:34):
parents as the enemy.
Speaker 2 (42:35):
Like.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
I've heard so many youth pastors kind of roll their
eyes.
Oh, the parents, the parents,they're not that bad, they're
just.
You know, like they're not theenemy, they are your advocate
and they can be your biggestraving fan If you'll let them be
your best friend, your worstenemy you seem to prefer the
latter cable guy reference Um,and all of this builds trust as
(43:00):
we engage them, as we'refriendly, and all of that.
So those are the big areas I canpoint you to If you're trying
to revive a dying youth groupLeaders, students, parents are
we meeting their needs and do wehave positive relationships?
That will take you so far.
And then, as we talked about inthe first half, what is your
(43:22):
specific data telling you aboutthe program?
Because those three areas aregeneralities for every ministry,
but you need to get deep intothe nitty gritty of like, what
are we doing that isn't workingfor people and you analyze that
data.
And if you can do the firsthalf and second half of what we
talked about, I think you know.
(43:44):
Obviously bathed in prayer andseeking the Lord and his
guidance.
Obviously bathed in prayer andseeking the.
Lord and his guidance, you canhopefully revive any youth group
.
Speaker 2 (43:54):
I think it's possible .
Yeah, it's kind of like gettingthat diagnosis from a doctor.
You know you may not want tohear it, but until you know what
you're dealing with you can'treally have any treatment
towards improving it Totally.
So you have to go through thathard time before you can see any
light.
You had mentioned the emailepisode that we did.
I will link that below, so makesure you check that out.
And also, if you kind of wantto go deeper on some practical
(44:14):
things to do, especially ifyou're working at a not just a
dying youth ministry but a dyingchurch overall, we have an
episode dedicated to that, somake sure you check that one out
.
All right, this is a communitycomment of the day.
This comes from Ryan Baines,who says been listening to you
guys for about six months nowand it's been so beneficial in
so many ways.
I'm 41 officially today Happybelated birthday but very new to
(44:38):
the youth leadership game andI'm a part of an amazing team at
Compassion City Youth and thishas given us so many ideas.
It's also nice to know we'renot the only ones dealing with
some of the struggles we face.
The youth ministry struggle isreal Praying for you guys, your
ministry, and for continuedsuccess and growth.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
Love that.
Thanks, Ryan.
That's really awesome.
Thank you, Ryan Love thatAppreciate that Well.
Speaker 2 (45:01):
Thank you guys for watching and listening and we'll
see you next time.
Speaker 1 (45:04):
Today, we're talking about the best practices for
what.
Today, we're talking about thebest practices for what the best
email practices, best practices, the best email practices.
Today, we're talking about thebest practices.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.