December 11, 2025 • 40 mins
Start the New Year strong and grow a healthy, thriving youth ministry...if you'd like to work with us, check out GrowYourYouthMinistry.com *** One of the best ways that you can get your youth ministry on the right track for the new year is to get YOURSELF on the right track! Today, we will be going over a ton of beneficial systems to get you and your youth group from where you are to where you want to be! We will also map out practical rhythms across the five engines of a thriving youth pastor: physical health, spiritual devotion, social connection, mental growth, and emotional care. Finally, we will get tactical about habits that stick: pairing tough tasks with small rewards, using time-blocking to protect non-negotiables, and converting idle moments into learning opportunities.
If you’re ready to swap pressure for a plan and design a year that actually aligns with your calling, this conversation gives you the framework to start and stay consistent. Like, subscribe and share this episode with a fellow student ministry leader or youth pastor!
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Books mentioned in this episode:
📕 “Atomic Habits” James Clear
📘 “Lead Like it Matters” by Craig Groeschel
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(#141) Attention Youth Pastors! You Need Deeper Friendships!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Today we're gonna talk about how to get you and
(00:02):
your youth ministry on the righttrack for the new year.
SPEAKER_01 (00:17):
Welcome to the Ministry Coach Podcast, where we
bring you weekly tips andtactics to help you fast track
the growth and health of youryouth ministry.
My name is Jeff Lascola, andthis is Kristen Lascola.
SPEAKER_00 (00:27):
And we are soon wrapping up this year, 2025.
And a lot of you are probablylooking toward the future 2026.
And today we're going to talkabout how to get your youth
ministry on the right track forthe new year.
And it's inevitable.
We always think of goals.
We always think, you know,people have a bad connotation
(00:48):
with resolutions.
I don't make resolutions.
It's okay.
But we, whether it's the newyear or not, we should always be
goal-oriented people.
I think that's a measure ofstewardship that we're not just
fine with the status quo, butwe're constantly looking ahead
to what is next?
How can I be a good steward, agood manager of myself, my
(01:12):
resources, my ministry, mychurch?
And I would just say that'sbiblical to not stay stagnant,
but be in the process ofmultiplication.
In our YMGA call or cohort callyesterday, we were talking about
that parable of the talents andthis idea of multiplying and
(01:32):
stewarding what God has given usreally well.
And I think that this is a greattime of year to look at that
because your mind might alreadybe going toward what did we do
last year that I want to dodifferently this year?
And I use the term this yearloosely because in youth
ministry, it really isn't a newyear.
It's like, well, our new yearstarted back in the fall.
(01:55):
But however, it still feels likea fresh start in some aspects
because you might be writing,you know, a calendar, a 12-year
calendar.
You might be looking yearcalendar.
SPEAKER_01 (02:06):
That's a long time.
SPEAKER_00 (02:07):
We're gonna be here for a long time.
12-month calendar, like pluggingin things like sermon series and
games and events and camps,retreats, service projects, all
of the above.
And it's a good time to sort ofevaluate what we're doing.
So here's a question that I wantto talk about today, more so
than what do I want to dodifferently in 2026?
(02:31):
What do I want to do?
The question I think I want tofocus on today is a little more
who do I want to be?
Because I think that's a morefoundational question.
And that produces the results ofwhat we do.
But what we do isn't even closein importance to who we are.
(02:55):
Um, and as in Enneagram three,that's a huge struggle because
we tend to see, and if you're afellow three, you know this, we
tend to see what we do as who weare.
You know, like there is nodifference.
It's like a human, they alwayssay, try to be a human being
instead of a human doing, youknow, as a three.
(03:15):
And I'm like, okay, I I getthat.
And so if we take a step backfrom what do we produce, the the
first question is, who are we?
Are we the kind of person whoproduces good results for the
long haul?
And how does that becomesustainable?
Because it's who we are, notjust something we can
(03:37):
performatively do, if that makessense.
So chances are, if you are like99% of youth leaders out there,
who you want to be is anexcellent, healthy leader with a
thriving ministry, preaching thegospel to all of creation,
making disciples of all of thenations, and have a thriving,
(04:01):
robust personal life to boot, togo along with it.
Some variation of that tends tobe where most of our goals land.
It's like, I want to be doingvery well professionally and
further the kingdom.
I want to be excellent, and Iwant to have an excellent
personal life.
Like, don't we all?
Right.
So the goal is always noble, butwhat it comes down to is this is
(04:26):
what James Clear uh he's theauthor of Atomic Habits.
Very good, Jeff.
Haven't read it.
Gold Star.
Um, I I've read portions of it.
He says, you don't rise to thelevel of your goals, you fall to
the level of your systems.
Yes, the level or level of yoursystems.
SPEAKER_01 (04:47):
I wasn't quite sure on that word, but it was
definitely level.
SPEAKER_00 (04:49):
Yeah, level is a hard word.
I can see why that tripped youup a little bit.
You say level, I say lavel,level, lavel, level, lavel.
You know, tail as old as time.
Words are hard.
Words are, but you're doinggreat, and I'm proud of you.
SPEAKER_01 (05:06):
Thank you.
Thank you.
For the new year, I want to getbetter at words.
SPEAKER_00 (05:10):
That's a worthy goal.
But you can't do that unless youhave a system.
Okay, Joe.
That's right.
So the issue is usually likeJames Clear is saying, not the
goals, but the systems.
So think of the goal.
I always like picture it kind oflike one of those emotion balls
or memory balls, I guess, frominside out, and they put it like
on the track.
SPEAKER_01 (05:31):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (05:32):
And then that and it takes the ball and then it like
inputs it and it becomes likethe emotion or the memory, or it
goes to where it needs to go toproduce something, right?
So that's kind of how a goal is.
A goal is this like beautifulglowing glass.
I love the way the glass, whenthey hit those like memory
(05:52):
balls, hit each other in themovie.
I love the way that sounds.
It's so satisfying.
But that's your goal.
It's like this beautiful glowingglass ball.
Well, you could put it on theshelf.
Remember, they had all thoseones that were just stored away
and that were kind of likedisintegrating because they
didn't need those memoriesanymore.
(06:14):
Or you can put it on the trackand it kind of like where does
it go to fulfill its purpose?
So a goal just in and of itselfcan be beautiful.
It could, it's an idea.
It feels motivating, you know,but unless it gets put on a
track and the track is a system,then it really doesn't amount to
anything or do or fulfill itspurpose, obviously, right?
(06:38):
And so a lot of times you canlook at your ministry or
yourself or your team and you'relike, oh, if we just had better
people, or if I was just better.
And it really, you know,according to James Claire, it's
not really that you need betterpeople, it's that you need
better systems.
It's not that you need to bebetter, it's that you need to be
put in a system that is resultsdriven.
(06:59):
And that goes for our ministryas well.
But today we're going to focus alittle bit more on just who we
want to be rather, and thenwe'll talk a little bit at the
end about, you know, uh resultsfor our ministry as well.
Craig Rochelle, I would highlyrecommend if you're looking at a
2026 reading list.
He wrote a book called Lead LikeIt Matters, and it's phenomenal.
(07:23):
And he has a whole chapter onsystems toward the end.
And he says this systems createbehaviors, behaviors become
habits, habits drive outcomes.
So if you want better outcomes,create better systems.
Good news.
Small changes in systems cancreate big changes in your
outcomes.
(07:44):
And so the strong he he goes onto say, strong systems make good
people look great, and weaksystems make good people look
bad.
So instead of pointing thefinger at people, including
yourself, it's like, well, let'sbypass that and start to look at
(08:04):
the system I'm in.
Is it helping me thrive?
Is it helping me accomplish thegoals I'm setting out to
accomplish?
So the first goal or the firststep, I should say, is
evaluating the systems.
So that's what we've beentalking all about.
Systems, systems, systems.
Do we have any?
Craig Grossot would say you do.
Whether you realize it or not,you will either have like a
(08:29):
system that's just a default, orit will be something
intentional.
He said, if your system is driveto the church, turn on the
lights, answer email, go home,that was a system.
And it just maybe's not a verygood one, but that's your MO.
That's how you do things.
So I think this is a great timeof year to be looking at all
(08:50):
those aspects of our life of whodo I want to be?
And in am I setting up a systemin my personal life for these
types of areas?
Our physical health.
I think pastors tend to verymuch neglect this area of their
life.
But we know that our physical,mental, emotional, all of those,
(09:12):
like one cannot really beseparated from the other.
Like we are a holistic being.
And so stewarding our physicalhealth to have energy for a
ministry, to show up at our bestfor ministry, to think well in
ministry, um, continue to staysharp and all of that.
(09:34):
We are the only ones who cansteward that.
And I think we all say, Oh, Iwant to get healthy.
I want to be healthy, but whatis the system?
Well, the system could looksomething like this Sunday
evening, I meal prep, not maybefor the whole week, because
that's a lot, right?
But maybe Sunday evening, I mealprep enough to be able to pack a
(09:57):
healthy lunch for myself Monday,Tuesday, and Wednesday.
I schedule my workout days.
Um, I'm gonna do cardio strengthtraining like every other.
Then this is my rest day.
And then I'm going to pre-make,you know, some easy dinners so
(10:17):
that I'm not tempted to dotakeout every single night or
something like that.
I don't know.
That might not fit your goal,but it's just an example of
okay, Sunday from five to sevenis my meal prep time, or seven
to nine, or whatever it mightbe.
Because what I've noticed thehabit a lot of pastors fall into
is they get so busy and thenthey just go rummaging around
(10:40):
like the church and find aleftover donut, or you know, and
it's like you're not doingyourself, your family, or your
ministry any favors byneglecting your physical health
because it will eventually catchup with you and then you're not
useful.
Now, is some physical healthoutside of our control?
(11:02):
Of course.
You know, things happen all thetime that are nobody's fault.
But I always think of it as asfar as it depends on me, I would
like to steward my health well.
And then come what may, like,you know, you're in life, a lot
of times all you're doing isspinning the wheel of like,
well, I got in a car accident ormy house had my house had mold,
(11:27):
or like there's just things youcan't prevent.
But what you what is within yourcontrol, that is what you have
stewardship over.
And so I what is the system inplace for you to do that?
And knowing that when you takethat half hour to go for a walk,
when you take that 45 minutes tolift weights, you are investing
(11:50):
not only in your future self,but the future self of your
ministry as well, to be here, tobe present, to be healthy, to be
around, to be not at doctor'sappointments, but being able to
be there for other people.
Again, with the caveat, thingshappen that are not your fault.
We get that.
(12:10):
And then the spiritual healthaspect as well.
Like, what is the system youhave in place for your own
spiritual health?
Where does that come from?
I usually don't get to attendchurch.
I'm sure you don't either.
So is spiritual health more thanattending church?
Obviously.
So that quiet time in themorning, those prayer walks,
(12:31):
though that worship, thoseconversations with friends
opening up about, you know,prayer requests and what how you
guys can be there for eachother.
That those things don't justhappen.
They have to be scheduled untilit becomes a habit.
SPEAKER_01 (12:47):
Um Yeah, that's actually a good point.
How do you what is the best bestmethod?
Dang it, 2026 can't come see.
What has been your best methodfor taking an action and
bringing it into a habit?
SPEAKER_00 (13:02):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (13:03):
Because I find, and I'm sure a lot of people would
agree with this, that like if itwas that health goal or
whatever, it's like those firstfew weeks, you're really on
track, and then life kind ofcomes at you, and then you miss
a few days, then all of a suddensomething else comes at you, and
miss a few weeks, and thensomething else comes at you, and
you're back to where youstarted.
So, what is the driving force?
And maybe this is taking this ina totally different direction,
(13:23):
but that you found successful inmaking this idea and becoming a
habit.
SPEAKER_00 (13:28):
I think I always am thinking about my why and my
future.
So, my why for like we went onvacation, and that would have
been very easy to fall off thebandwagon for health.
I brought my resistance bandsbecause they weigh almost
nothing.
I put them in my suitcase.
And when there was like a freehalf hour, I did some upper body
(13:52):
strength kind of stuff because Ithink this is an investment in
the future.
Me, I want to be strong and Iwant to be capable and I don't
want to ever have to make up aton of ground.
You know what I mean?
Like, because that's when I'lllose my motivation of like, oh
my gosh, I have so far to go.
(14:13):
You know, but I'm like, if I canjust maintain, you know, the
health that I have and givemyself 30 minutes instead of
scrolling on a phone or watchinganother show or something like
that.
I my why supersedes that of likein three weeks from now, will I
care if I watched anotherepisode or will I care if I have
(14:36):
a ton of ground to make up inmuscle mass or flexibility or
endurance or health or whatever?
SPEAKER_01 (14:43):
And so I always And I found watch that episode while
you're working out.
Yeah two birds, one stone, markit down, dude.
SPEAKER_00 (14:50):
Yeah, that's actually a method of motivation,
is where you pair a greatgripping show or movie or
whatever to working out.
SPEAKER_01 (14:59):
It makes me want to do it.
Is that not what you're gonnasay?
SPEAKER_00 (15:02):
That's kind of it's any task.
So any task you don't love, youpair it with something that is
reward.
So, like I hate folding laundry,but I put my laptop on the bed
while I fold it and I watch ashow that I enjoy.
SPEAKER_01 (15:18):
Or I used to buy myself a pair of shoes ever
after I'd go to the dentist.
I remember that two times ayear.
SPEAKER_00 (15:23):
I was a lot of shoes.
But that's great.
Like whatever it's like amotivator, yeah, or watching a
great show while you work out.
I mean, if you're at the gym,that's harder, but I work out at
home.
So yeah, like pairing rewardwith hard work too.
Unless your reward is I workedout, now I get to have a recess.
(15:46):
It's like we wow, wow.
Um, maybe you can because youburned all the calories, you
just put them back.
SPEAKER_01 (15:51):
Eat while you work out.
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (15:53):
I've seen videos of that's pretty funny.
Yeah, making those what was yourquestion of like how does it
become a habit?
SPEAKER_01 (16:01):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (16:02):
And then eventually it's that time slot that you
remember and you kind of fallinto gear.
Like for me, in the morning, Ihave a routine to start taking
care of this night's sleepbefore I even like I've just
woken up.
Well, I make sure I always goand drink my matcha outside in
(16:23):
the yard, getting the sunlightin my eyes because I realize
that really helps me sleep atnight if I get outdoors early in
the morning because it sets mycircadian rhythm.
I'm not a great sleeper, so Ihave to do a lot to ensure that
I can sleep.
And if I don't, then I fallapart and everything falls
(16:45):
apart.
So I discipline myself.
Oh, matcha time after the kidsare gone at school from 7:50 to
8 o'clock, I stand in the yardwith the sunlight in my eyes,
finish my matcha, and then getready for the day.
It's just become, I don't evenhave to think about it anymore.
Yeah.
Let the dogs out, go out becauseI realize the result I want
(17:06):
later on is good sleep in theevening.
If I stay indoors all day, Idon't get good sleep.
So it's like becomes like justalmost these little alarm bells
in your mind go off, or likeright when you wake up in the
morning.
Maybe your thought is, oh, do Ijump on the elliptical or do I
go for a walk?
(17:27):
It's like, you know, this isworkout time.
It's just what are you going todo?
And so in the beginning, itreally will come down to
probably a pretty tedious tightschedule of like, okay, this is
the half hour where I clean thehouse every day.
This is the 45 minutes I go fora walk every day.
And maybe it's not every singleday, but you vary it like
(17:49):
Monday, Wednesday, Friday,Tuesday, Thursday.
Sometimes daily things canbecome like daunting as well.
And you need kind of to changeit up, but it might need to be
plugged into your calendar, andthen it becomes just routine.
Yeah, for example.
SPEAKER_01 (18:05):
What gets scheduled gets done.
SPEAKER_00 (18:07):
Yeah, exactly.
And then it kind of becomes likeyou didn't even think about it
anymore.
It wasn't like an option, itjust happened.
SPEAKER_01 (18:14):
It's kind of incredible.
All the things that becomehabits, good or bad, just
naturally.
Like you don't think like, I'mjust gonna go to bed.
I'm well, maybe some peoplethink this, I'm just gonna go to
bed, I'm not gonna brush myteeth.
Like it's like, well, that'sjust a habit.
I just do that.
Yeah.
But these things that's likethey take time and they add up
throughout your day that youalways make time for.
Right.
Good or bad.
Right.
It's just that you want to havemore of obviously the good than
(18:36):
the bad that become the habits.
SPEAKER_00 (18:38):
Yeah, exactly.
And how do you need to move yourtime to make that happen?
Because I think the first thingon people's mind is like, I
don't have time.
And it's like, I don't have timenot to.
Like, I will like prioritize myhealth over everything, not
like, oh, well, I'm not going towork today.
(19:00):
But it's like I always will finda moment for it because if I
don't, then other things willfill that.
Right.
And then I never will get itdone.
I'll just allow things to creepin over and over and over again.
And so it's like, this has toget done.
This is non-negotiable to eathealthy, to have some exercise,
(19:22):
to have daylight.
And then even moving to thingslike, you know, a lot of pastors
neglect their social life.
So where are you filling thatin?
Like I notice if I go too longwithout hanging out with my
friends, I my personalitychanges a little bit for the
worse.
Like I am more irritable.
I kind of forget, you know, theparts of myself I like.
(19:45):
And so I've been trying to,okay, Friday morning.
That's a technically a day offfor me.
So can I go on a walk with afriend?
Can I meet a friend for coffee?
Can I go to lunch with a friend?
You know, and I try.
To schedule that at thebeginning of my week.
And then it gives me somethingto look forward to as well.
Instead of just sitting aroundwaiting for someone to text me,
(20:08):
oh, I haven't seen my friends inforever.
It's like, well, you grab theball and make it happen.
You have an open 9 to 11 on aFriday morning.
Could you get a coffee?
Because again, these are thethings that feed back into us to
keep us moving forward.
Sometimes if you're a highachiever, you look at this as a
waste of time or taking stepsback when you could be doing or
(20:29):
accomplishing, and you don'trealize, well, you are doing and
accomplishing because you'recaring for yourself, and
yourself has a long distance togo.
And you have to treat yourselflike a human as well, right?
SPEAKER_01 (20:45):
Little things to look forward to is really
underrated.
I feel like in life.
I mean, it doesn't even have tobe a major thing, but just
little things that's like, oh,tomorrow I get to, you know,
whatever that is.
Yeah.
It's kind of incredible.
SPEAKER_00 (20:56):
And like one a day, like Jeff is so sweet and makes
me a matcha latte every singlemorning.
And if it's not ready when Iwake up, I'm not mad.
I'm not mad.
I want you to know that.
I'm disappointed.
And so I'll kind of look at himbecause when I wake up, that's
(21:19):
what I have a whole day ahead ofme.
It's not gonna make itself ofall kinds of things.
But the matcha, I look forwardto it.
It's like the bright spot of mymorning.
SPEAKER_01 (21:30):
Like I love not me, not your children, the matcha.
SPEAKER_00 (21:35):
Those things are givens.
Okay.
I'm just saying that I that'slike a bright spot for me in the
day.
Or yes, once a week seeing afriend or going on a bike ride
doing something I really love.
And then maybe once a month,that's when all my friends come
together and we plan a frienddinner.
(21:55):
Last night we went to dinner ata friend's house.
Thank you, Andy.
It was very fun.
And it's like that what I hadbeen looking forward to that all
week.
You know, it's just somethingthat is gonna break the routine
that you can look forward to.
But here's the thing (22:08):
you have to schedule it.
Yeah, and that is where thesystem comes in.
We're talking about system,system, system.
It's sitting down with yourcalendar at the beginning of
every week and every month.
And like, where is this stuff?
Where is my workout?
Where is my meal prep?
Where are my friends?
(22:28):
Where are my group of friends?
Where is my family?
You know, we try to keep Sundayas like after church, like,
let's do something fun alltogether as a family.
We did this thing once or twice.
We need to do it more.
It was really fun.
Last goal of family fun night.
And there's four people in ourfamily, us two kids, and
everyone got 30 minutes to well,first we went to the store and
(22:52):
everyone got to choose any treatthey wanted, any snack, treat,
whatever, one thing.
And then we went home, and theneveryone got 30 minutes to pick
what they wanted to do, andeveryone had to do it with them
with no complaining.
SPEAKER_01 (23:05):
Because it's we have a therein lies the difficult
part.
SPEAKER_00 (23:09):
Well, because on a normal basis, like we have a
12-year-old and aseven-year-old, and they have
very different interests.
And so the what theseven-year-old wants to do, the
12-year-old doesn't want to do.
So it's so hard to findsomething we all enjoy.
But when we put those boundariesand parameters on, well, this is
like you have to do it, nocomplaining.
Everyone just got into it.
Like the seven-year-old wantedto play charades on the
(23:32):
trampoline.
I wanted to take the dogs for awalk.
The older one wanted to playvideo games altogether, and I
forget what you want to do.
SPEAKER_01 (23:41):
I don't think I got 30 minutes, but that's okay.
I was making matches.
SPEAKER_00 (23:45):
Poor Jeff.
We did something, I just can'tremember.
I don't remember either.
SPEAKER_01 (23:51):
I don't think we did.
SPEAKER_00 (23:52):
Well, looks like we ran out of time, you guys.
Better luck next time.
SPEAKER_01 (23:58):
The story of the dead.
SPEAKER_00 (24:03):
But you enjoyed all the things.
Totally.
This took a sad turn.
So that was like our family.
Okay, what are we doing Sunday?
Yeah.
You know, like that's kind oflike a standing appointment,
unless we, you know, sometimesan event or whatever comes up,
but that's usually a standing.
(24:23):
We know we're gonna do somethingas a family Sunday night.
Does it happen every singleweek?
No, because who knows?
There could be an event or adinner, whatever for work.
But so, anyways, that's that'sthat.
And then, like looking at yourmental and emotional health as
well.
That's another area that pastorstend to neglect until it's too
(24:44):
late.
You know, we always enact thisstuff when we're in a crisis,
but what if we just maintainedthe health and then we got to
run a very healthy long race?
And we didn't have to take afive-year sabbatical because we
had a mental breakdown.
No shame if we had to, but I'msaying, like, there's also
(25:06):
preventative medicine, right?
And so meeting with a therapist,why not?
Like, is there anything likeabsolutely broken and wrong with
you?
No, you don't have to go totherapy when you're at rock
bottom.
You can go to therapy just tohave another sounding board to
(25:27):
process feelings with someonewho is a third party unbiased
with your mental health and andtherapy.
Again, that's something youschedule.
Okay, every other week.
Um you don't have to do it everysingle week.
How about twice a month?
Why not?
What's the worst that couldhappen?
You do it for a while and thenyou're like, I'm good, like
(25:48):
wasn't for me.
Then, you know, your your mentalhealth as well, or sorry, your
emotional health is kind of tiedinto that as well.
But um, I even do things tosharpen my mind and my memory
and my cognitive skills.
Cause you know, we're at the agelike once you're in your 20s,
30s, 40s, 50s, 60, like you'renot always learning new skills,
(26:11):
new languages anymore.
So, what are you doing to keepyourself mentally sharp?
So I even do things, you know,to keep my mental or my
cognitive skills up, you know,because we're not learning a ton
of new things anymore.
And so those synapses aren'tfiring as much as they once were
(26:33):
when we were, you know, childrengoing to school, learning new
things, learning new skills,growing physically.
Like we can kind of hit like amental plateau, if you will.
So, you know, there's a lot ofthings out there to help kind of
keep you like you could learn anew skill.
If you're like, yeah, when do Ihave the time to take guitar
(26:53):
lessons or piano lessons?
I get that.
So there's like apps.
I use Lumosity and you still usethat?
Yeah.
Um, it's really fun.
SPEAKER_01 (27:03):
Some of them still use that.
They are kind of fun.
SPEAKER_00 (27:07):
Yeah, they they're different games that they give
you every day to help differentparts of cognition, like task
changing or problem solving, orthere's some linguistic type
things, or multitasking.
And so it's like helping yourbrain light up in ways that just
do going about your normal dailylife wouldn't.
(27:28):
And then continuing to learn aswell, like being a reader.
I think, you know, I know Jeffdoes not love to read, and so he
always has a defense against it.
But I think as a pastor, youlearn a lot though.
You listen to podcasts.
SPEAKER_01 (27:44):
I do.
So you are this one.
SPEAKER_00 (27:46):
Don't listen.
But you you are learning a lot.
SPEAKER_01 (27:49):
I I play Wordle.
I'd like to say that I got onefirst try yesterday.
SPEAKER_00 (27:57):
You're so smart.
SPEAKER_01 (27:59):
First time.
It was like 400 and somethingtimes, and I finally got one on
first try.
That's not a skill, that's totalluck.
SPEAKER_00 (28:07):
Wow.
I forget what Wordle is.
SPEAKER_01 (28:09):
Where you it's a five-letter word, it's a new one
every day, and you get like sixchances to figure out what the
five-letter word is.
Uh so I've been playing the sameword for a while.
That's true.
I don't know if anyone's playingWordle.
It popped up on my paid for AOLaccount.
Just kidding.
Um, yeah, but I like nobodyknows what AOL is.
(28:31):
No, you see, kids.
So yeah, but I got it first try.
SPEAKER_00 (28:35):
Wow.
Biggest acknowledgement.
Well, what's your word?
SPEAKER_01 (28:38):
Social media and like no likes, no love,
whatever.
Because they're like, what'sWordle?
What's the what?
What's the rule?
SPEAKER_00 (28:45):
Well, what's the word?
SPEAKER_01 (28:46):
Oh, tulip is the one I've been playing for over a
year.
Why you ask?
Well, I'm glad you asked thatquestion.
Is because not be my 30 minutesof enjoyment time with the
(29:09):
family.
SPEAKER_00 (29:10):
It's not.
That's what I was gonna say.
Um, yeah, reading.
What are you going to read thisyear?
What are you going to learn?
How are you going to developyourself professionally,
learning and reading all thetime?
As I think for a leader, that isseriously non-negotiable.
Like, how are you expanding yourunderstanding of everything?
(29:31):
Because we lead people in somany areas.
And we can't just like stop oureducation and just, oh, whatever
I think.
I mean, obviously, we'restudying the word all the time,
and everything comes back to,you know, this biblical lens of
everything, but there's so muchbiblical, like pastors who write
(29:55):
books are ways of seeing thingsthat help us in our job, help us
be better teachers, help us bebetter leaders.
I feel like leaders should bereading and learning every
single day to become better athow we lead people.
So yeah, and then the thoseanswer, these are the systems,
(30:16):
like okay, so a system formental health.
When I'm in the car waiting forpickup, a lot of times I want to
scroll TikTok.
And my brain says, do that.
That's really fun for you.
Because you're gonna see a funnyDachshund video, you're gonna
get a new recipe, you're gonnafind out, you know, some funny
(30:37):
like I love my algorithm rightnow, so hilarious.
But I have a book on mypassenger seat that has to do
with professional development,leadership development, and I
read that instead.
I know, and then when the carsstart moving, then I'm like,
okay, maybe I can watch oneTikTok, right?
SPEAKER_01 (30:55):
Um while the cars are moving, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (30:58):
Drive and watch, it's fine.
But um I make myself do that, orI make myself open the Lumosity
app and do a few of the likecognitive health games and stuff
like that.
But see, that's a system that'sbuilt in.
When I'm in the car, idle time,it's these are my two options
(31:18):
book or this.
And so I've built that into thesystem of pickup.
So what and and then you findall the available time you have
as well.
You know, there are these littlepockets when people say I don't
have time.
Well, what are the pockets oftime that you could put toward
that?
And I feel like I fit it all in,and I don't feel like I was so
(31:42):
busy and my head's gonna falloff.
You know, it was like I fit in acouple of games here.
I I read before I went to bed orI read in the car.
Like it happened because it wasjust a part of the rhythm that
I've set up the system.
It doesn't feel like this, ohno, kind of thing.
And so you might have toexchange some like wants for for
(32:09):
needs at the beginning.
You know what I mean?
Like there might be a time thatyou might have to give up for
something else.
But the ultimate question iswhat is most important to you
and becoming who you want tobecome?
Is it another episode of fill inthe blank?
Does is that helping you becomewho you want to become?
(32:30):
And you might say, Oh, I want tobe a rested person.
Yeah, I still watch a show.
We are watching some show rightnow.
I can't remember the name of it.
And it's like terminal list,yeah.
Okay, so it's like I stillwatched it, it just I didn't
have to watch it for an hour anda half.
I did all the things I needed todo, and then I watched 20
(32:51):
minutes and went to bed, youknow.
Like it wasn't even that much.
I was really tired last night,but I still fit in a coffee with
a friend, I still fit in thesethings that make my life
enjoyable.
It's just the system bringsbalance to it all so that your
autopilot of desire isn't incontrol.
(33:14):
You know what I mean?
Because if you just leave it upto desire, it's like I don't
feel like meal prepping.
It's easier to go through thedrive-thru.
So, you know, the system has tobe in place until it becomes
second nature to you.
Because maybe second nature toyou right now is watching an
hour and a half of TV in theevening when you still could
(33:34):
have watched TV, but half ofthat could have been strength
training.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Or simultaneous, like we weresaying.
So it the system can work withthe right intentionality.
Because yeah, as we go into thisnext year, I hope we're all
asking the question not justwhat do I want to do and what do
(33:54):
I want to accomplish, but who doI want to be?
What kind of person do I want tobe?
How do I want to steward thephysical, mental, emotional,
spiritual capacities that Godhas given me in my I mean, I
only get one life, you know?
And here's the thing too, like,I don't know exactly the
(34:16):
questions God asks us at the endof our life, but I do know we're
accountable to our life and howwe spend it.
How do we love others?
How do we do like because I wantto do ministry for as long as
possible, and I guess I seethose systems as a vehicle to do
it, you know, so that mypersonal unhealth doesn't get in
(34:41):
the way of what I want toaccomplish for the kingdom.
I think that's a good note toend on.
SPEAKER_01 (34:45):
Yeah.
And and with that kind of comeswith that um a little bit of
strictness where you have tohave like accountability with
yourself to make sure.
Yeah, there's discipline forsure.
The hard things.
There's Paul talks about that.
Right.
There's a uh scene in ForrestGump where he talks about when
he goes, like just startsrunning, like for like all day
long or whatever, he's like, ifI'm tired, I stopped and slept.
(35:07):
If I was hungry, I would stopand eat.
And that idea has always likebeen in my head.
Like, what would life look likeif you were just like, I'm gonna
do what I want to do?
Like if you financially, if youwere like a bajillionaire and
you would money was not anissue, but it's like I'm gonna
do whatever I feel like doing.
You would screw up your life sofast based off of doing only
(35:27):
what your desires were tellingyou to do.
Yeah, like if you said, I'mtired, I'm gonna go to bed, it's
six, it's six o'clock at night,and you go to bed, you would
probably be up at three in themorning for the day.
Now you've screwed up that day,or I'm hungry, I'm gonna eat,
and I want to eat this, and it'sbad for me.
Like it would snow.
I literally would be like on mydeathbed after a week because of
(35:49):
all the stupid things that Iwanted to do that I shouldn't
have done.
Obviously, that's an extremeexample, but it's like you do
have to kind of take somestrictness into your systems and
say, no, I really do have to dothis.
I totally don't want to do it,but I have to because if they
don't do it, the resultsafterwards I'm gonna really
regret.
SPEAKER_00 (36:09):
Well, and you're totally right.
And Tim Keller talks a lot aboutlike our desires and how a lot
of sin is like misplaceddesires.
And it's like this idea, likeyou were talking about what if
we just lived on our desires,you know, like a child.
That's what children do, that'swhy they need parents because
(36:30):
parents are the regulator of thechildren's desires until the
child is mature enough toregulate their own desires.
That's why kids want ice creamfor breakfast, and that's why
they want to binge TV all daylong and rot, you know, but
parents serve as that regulator.
And so, like, I think there is aspiritual element where you can
(36:50):
ask God to help you rewrite someof these desires too, so that
it's not this like uphill battleevery single day.
Like Paul talks about disciplineof an athlete and he talks about
you know running the race andall of that.
And, you know, I think there isa level of discipline that we
(37:12):
need forever.
But I also think you can ask Godto rewrite that desire so that
it's almost a joy, not a burden.
Like when I go for a walk, I'mnot like, uh, I hate it.
I'm like, I'm praying, I'mwalking, I'm outside, it's
beautiful, you know, it's apleasure.
Did it start that way?
(37:33):
I don't know.
Probably not.
I don't really remember, butit's like God can rewrite and
replace our desire for somethingnot good for us with something
good for us, you know, and youcan ask for that, you know.
And so it does take disciplinemaybe at the beginning, but I
think it's completely possiblefor him to rewrite those.
(37:57):
So it would be discipline,obviously, right in the
beginning, you know, you have tojust get it on the calendar and
do it, make it a habit.
But then over time, he canrewrite those desires so that
you start to desire what's goodfor you and instead of what's
bad for you.
I think that's completelypossible.
SPEAKER_01 (38:14):
Yeah.
Also, it's probably why asadults we start to eventually
get to the point where we'resaying ice cream for breakfast.
That sounds so gross as anadult, but as a child, you're
like, this is the greatest ideain the world, you know?
SPEAKER_00 (38:25):
Right, because your desires mature.
SPEAKER_01 (38:27):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (38:27):
Yeah.
And they should maturespiritually as well.
You know, but Tim Keller talks alot about that, though, of your
desires maturing past childhood.
Like, yeah, why doesn't thetrash that you used to want like
I used to eat sticks of butterwhen I was a kid, like straight
out of the fridge, right?
I don't know why.
I was compelled to do it.
(38:49):
And so someone told me it was acartilage deficiency or
something because theirs saidthey did too.
I don't know.
I was eating sticks of butter.
But then as you mature, yourcravings change, your desires
change, and spiritually, youknow, it should be the same.
We should want what's good forus so that we can do kingdom
(39:09):
work well and for the long haulwithout getting in the way of
it, you know.
SPEAKER_01 (39:15):
Um, you had talked about earlier, you know, kind of
incorporating friendships andrelationships into your daily
life or weekly life.
Uh, we did an episode a longtime ago, but it was a really
good one about youth pastorsneed more friends and kind of
like just other people in theirlife and not just focusing
totally on just work all thetime.
I would encourage you guys maybeto check that episode out.
(39:36):
All right, let's do a communitycomment of the day.
This comes from our good friendChristian Tonkins, who's also a
member.
SPEAKER_00 (39:43):
What's that last name?
SPEAKER_01 (39:44):
I know.
It's it's next level.
We met him um actually at theDYM 100.
I think it was the 100 um radguy.
He's also like eight feet tall.
Um, wasn't expecting that.
What?
SPEAKER_00 (39:56):
I said hard to miss.
SPEAKER_01 (39:57):
Oh, yeah.
That's an artemis.
Artis.
Artemis.
SPEAKER_00 (40:01):
That's my nickname for it.
SPEAKER_01 (40:02):
Anyways, Christian, he's a member of our YMGA
course.
Rad guy, he says, love thisshow.
One of my all-time favoriteepisodes was episode 107:
Practices for Speaking toStudents Better.
It gave me so much confidencethat I needed in that time.
So thank you.
SPEAKER_00 (40:17):
Thank you, Artemis.
SPEAKER_01 (40:18):
Thank you, Christian.
It was great meeting you.
And we thank you guys so muchfor watching and listening.
And we'll see you next time.
Do you see what I see?
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Glad you appreciate the uh toomany words, Jeff.
(40:42):
You're here too.
SPEAKER_00 (40:43):
Somebody else talk now.
I don't know how to land thislane.
Today we're gonna talk about how to get you and
(00:02):
your youth ministry on the righttrack for the new year.
SPEAKER_01 (00:17):
Welcome to the Ministry Coach Podcast, where we
bring you weekly tips andtactics to help you fast track
the growth and health of youryouth ministry.
My name is Jeff Lascola, andthis is Kristen Lascola.
SPEAKER_00 (00:27):
And we are soon wrapping up this year, 2025.
And a lot of you are probablylooking toward the future 2026.
And today we're going to talkabout how to get your youth
ministry on the right track forthe new year.
And it's inevitable.
We always think of goals.
We always think, you know,people have a bad connotation
(00:48):
with resolutions.
I don't make resolutions.
It's okay.
But we, whether it's the newyear or not, we should always be
goal-oriented people.
I think that's a measure ofstewardship that we're not just
fine with the status quo, butwe're constantly looking ahead
to what is next?
How can I be a good steward, agood manager of myself, my
(01:12):
resources, my ministry, mychurch?
And I would just say that'sbiblical to not stay stagnant,
but be in the process ofmultiplication.
In our YMGA call or cohort callyesterday, we were talking about
that parable of the talents andthis idea of multiplying and
(01:32):
stewarding what God has given usreally well.
And I think that this is a greattime of year to look at that
because your mind might alreadybe going toward what did we do
last year that I want to dodifferently this year?
And I use the term this yearloosely because in youth
ministry, it really isn't a newyear.
It's like, well, our new yearstarted back in the fall.
(01:55):
But however, it still feels likea fresh start in some aspects
because you might be writing,you know, a calendar, a 12-year
calendar.
You might be looking yearcalendar.
SPEAKER_01 (02:06):
That's a long time.
SPEAKER_00 (02:07):
We're gonna be here for a long time.
12-month calendar, like pluggingin things like sermon series and
games and events and camps,retreats, service projects, all
of the above.
And it's a good time to sort ofevaluate what we're doing.
So here's a question that I wantto talk about today, more so
than what do I want to dodifferently in 2026?
(02:31):
What do I want to do?
The question I think I want tofocus on today is a little more
who do I want to be?
Because I think that's a morefoundational question.
And that produces the results ofwhat we do.
But what we do isn't even closein importance to who we are.
(02:55):
Um, and as in Enneagram three,that's a huge struggle because
we tend to see, and if you're afellow three, you know this, we
tend to see what we do as who weare.
You know, like there is nodifference.
It's like a human, they alwayssay, try to be a human being
instead of a human doing, youknow, as a three.
(03:15):
And I'm like, okay, I I getthat.
And so if we take a step backfrom what do we produce, the the
first question is, who are we?
Are we the kind of person whoproduces good results for the
long haul?
And how does that becomesustainable?
Because it's who we are, notjust something we can
(03:37):
performatively do, if that makessense.
So chances are, if you are like99% of youth leaders out there,
who you want to be is anexcellent, healthy leader with a
thriving ministry, preaching thegospel to all of creation,
making disciples of all of thenations, and have a thriving,
(04:01):
robust personal life to boot, togo along with it.
Some variation of that tends tobe where most of our goals land.
It's like, I want to be doingvery well professionally and
further the kingdom.
I want to be excellent, and Iwant to have an excellent
personal life.
Like, don't we all?
Right.
So the goal is always noble, butwhat it comes down to is this is
(04:26):
what James Clear uh he's theauthor of Atomic Habits.
Very good, Jeff.
Haven't read it.
Gold Star.
Um, I I've read portions of it.
He says, you don't rise to thelevel of your goals, you fall to
the level of your systems.
Yes, the level or level of yoursystems.
SPEAKER_01 (04:47):
I wasn't quite sure on that word, but it was
definitely level.
SPEAKER_00 (04:49):
Yeah, level is a hard word.
I can see why that tripped youup a little bit.
You say level, I say lavel,level, lavel, level, lavel.
You know, tail as old as time.
Words are hard.
Words are, but you're doinggreat, and I'm proud of you.
SPEAKER_01 (05:06):
Thank you.
Thank you.
For the new year, I want to getbetter at words.
SPEAKER_00 (05:10):
That's a worthy goal.
But you can't do that unless youhave a system.
Okay, Joe.
That's right.
So the issue is usually likeJames Clear is saying, not the
goals, but the systems.
So think of the goal.
I always like picture it kind oflike one of those emotion balls
or memory balls, I guess, frominside out, and they put it like
on the track.
SPEAKER_01 (05:31):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (05:32):
And then that and it takes the ball and then it like
inputs it and it becomes likethe emotion or the memory, or it
goes to where it needs to go toproduce something, right?
So that's kind of how a goal is.
A goal is this like beautifulglowing glass.
I love the way the glass, whenthey hit those like memory
(05:52):
balls, hit each other in themovie.
I love the way that sounds.
It's so satisfying.
But that's your goal.
It's like this beautiful glowingglass ball.
Well, you could put it on theshelf.
Remember, they had all thoseones that were just stored away
and that were kind of likedisintegrating because they
didn't need those memoriesanymore.
(06:14):
Or you can put it on the trackand it kind of like where does
it go to fulfill its purpose?
So a goal just in and of itselfcan be beautiful.
It could, it's an idea.
It feels motivating, you know,but unless it gets put on a
track and the track is a system,then it really doesn't amount to
anything or do or fulfill itspurpose, obviously, right?
(06:38):
And so a lot of times you canlook at your ministry or
yourself or your team and you'relike, oh, if we just had better
people, or if I was just better.
And it really, you know,according to James Claire, it's
not really that you need betterpeople, it's that you need
better systems.
It's not that you need to bebetter, it's that you need to be
put in a system that is resultsdriven.
(06:59):
And that goes for our ministryas well.
But today we're going to focus alittle bit more on just who we
want to be rather, and thenwe'll talk a little bit at the
end about, you know, uh resultsfor our ministry as well.
Craig Rochelle, I would highlyrecommend if you're looking at a
2026 reading list.
He wrote a book called Lead LikeIt Matters, and it's phenomenal.
(07:23):
And he has a whole chapter onsystems toward the end.
And he says this systems createbehaviors, behaviors become
habits, habits drive outcomes.
So if you want better outcomes,create better systems.
Good news.
Small changes in systems cancreate big changes in your
outcomes.
(07:44):
And so the strong he he goes onto say, strong systems make good
people look great, and weaksystems make good people look
bad.
So instead of pointing thefinger at people, including
yourself, it's like, well, let'sbypass that and start to look at
(08:04):
the system I'm in.
Is it helping me thrive?
Is it helping me accomplish thegoals I'm setting out to
accomplish?
So the first goal or the firststep, I should say, is
evaluating the systems.
So that's what we've beentalking all about.
Systems, systems, systems.
Do we have any?
Craig Grossot would say you do.
Whether you realize it or not,you will either have like a
(08:29):
system that's just a default, orit will be something
intentional.
He said, if your system is driveto the church, turn on the
lights, answer email, go home,that was a system.
And it just maybe's not a verygood one, but that's your MO.
That's how you do things.
So I think this is a great timeof year to be looking at all
(08:50):
those aspects of our life of whodo I want to be?
And in am I setting up a systemin my personal life for these
types of areas?
Our physical health.
I think pastors tend to verymuch neglect this area of their
life.
But we know that our physical,mental, emotional, all of those,
(09:12):
like one cannot really beseparated from the other.
Like we are a holistic being.
And so stewarding our physicalhealth to have energy for a
ministry, to show up at our bestfor ministry, to think well in
ministry, um, continue to staysharp and all of that.
(09:34):
We are the only ones who cansteward that.
And I think we all say, Oh, Iwant to get healthy.
I want to be healthy, but whatis the system?
Well, the system could looksomething like this Sunday
evening, I meal prep, not maybefor the whole week, because
that's a lot, right?
But maybe Sunday evening, I mealprep enough to be able to pack a
(09:57):
healthy lunch for myself Monday,Tuesday, and Wednesday.
I schedule my workout days.
Um, I'm gonna do cardio strengthtraining like every other.
Then this is my rest day.
And then I'm going to pre-make,you know, some easy dinners so
(10:17):
that I'm not tempted to dotakeout every single night or
something like that.
I don't know.
That might not fit your goal,but it's just an example of
okay, Sunday from five to sevenis my meal prep time, or seven
to nine, or whatever it mightbe.
Because what I've noticed thehabit a lot of pastors fall into
is they get so busy and thenthey just go rummaging around
(10:40):
like the church and find aleftover donut, or you know, and
it's like you're not doingyourself, your family, or your
ministry any favors byneglecting your physical health
because it will eventually catchup with you and then you're not
useful.
Now, is some physical healthoutside of our control?
(11:02):
Of course.
You know, things happen all thetime that are nobody's fault.
But I always think of it as asfar as it depends on me, I would
like to steward my health well.
And then come what may, like,you know, you're in life, a lot
of times all you're doing isspinning the wheel of like,
well, I got in a car accident ormy house had my house had mold,
(11:27):
or like there's just things youcan't prevent.
But what you what is within yourcontrol, that is what you have
stewardship over.
And so I what is the system inplace for you to do that?
And knowing that when you takethat half hour to go for a walk,
when you take that 45 minutes tolift weights, you are investing
(11:50):
not only in your future self,but the future self of your
ministry as well, to be here, tobe present, to be healthy, to be
around, to be not at doctor'sappointments, but being able to
be there for other people.
Again, with the caveat, thingshappen that are not your fault.
We get that.
(12:10):
And then the spiritual healthaspect as well.
Like, what is the system youhave in place for your own
spiritual health?
Where does that come from?
I usually don't get to attendchurch.
I'm sure you don't either.
So is spiritual health more thanattending church?
Obviously.
So that quiet time in themorning, those prayer walks,
(12:31):
though that worship, thoseconversations with friends
opening up about, you know,prayer requests and what how you
guys can be there for eachother.
That those things don't justhappen.
They have to be scheduled untilit becomes a habit.
SPEAKER_01 (12:47):
Um Yeah, that's actually a good point.
How do you what is the best bestmethod?
Dang it, 2026 can't come see.
What has been your best methodfor taking an action and
bringing it into a habit?
SPEAKER_00 (13:02):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (13:03):
Because I find, and I'm sure a lot of people would
agree with this, that like if itwas that health goal or
whatever, it's like those firstfew weeks, you're really on
track, and then life kind ofcomes at you, and then you miss
a few days, then all of a suddensomething else comes at you, and
miss a few weeks, and thensomething else comes at you, and
you're back to where youstarted.
So, what is the driving force?
And maybe this is taking this ina totally different direction,
(13:23):
but that you found successful inmaking this idea and becoming a
habit.
SPEAKER_00 (13:28):
I think I always am thinking about my why and my
future.
So, my why for like we went onvacation, and that would have
been very easy to fall off thebandwagon for health.
I brought my resistance bandsbecause they weigh almost
nothing.
I put them in my suitcase.
And when there was like a freehalf hour, I did some upper body
(13:52):
strength kind of stuff because Ithink this is an investment in
the future.
Me, I want to be strong and Iwant to be capable and I don't
want to ever have to make up aton of ground.
You know what I mean?
Like, because that's when I'lllose my motivation of like, oh
my gosh, I have so far to go.
(14:13):
You know, but I'm like, if I canjust maintain, you know, the
health that I have and givemyself 30 minutes instead of
scrolling on a phone or watchinganother show or something like
that.
I my why supersedes that of likein three weeks from now, will I
care if I watched anotherepisode or will I care if I have
(14:36):
a ton of ground to make up inmuscle mass or flexibility or
endurance or health or whatever?
SPEAKER_01 (14:43):
And so I always And I found watch that episode while
you're working out.
Yeah two birds, one stone, markit down, dude.
SPEAKER_00 (14:50):
Yeah, that's actually a method of motivation,
is where you pair a greatgripping show or movie or
whatever to working out.
SPEAKER_01 (14:59):
It makes me want to do it.
Is that not what you're gonnasay?
SPEAKER_00 (15:02):
That's kind of it's any task.
So any task you don't love, youpair it with something that is
reward.
So, like I hate folding laundry,but I put my laptop on the bed
while I fold it and I watch ashow that I enjoy.
SPEAKER_01 (15:18):
Or I used to buy myself a pair of shoes ever
after I'd go to the dentist.
I remember that two times ayear.
SPEAKER_00 (15:23):
I was a lot of shoes.
But that's great.
Like whatever it's like amotivator, yeah, or watching a
great show while you work out.
I mean, if you're at the gym,that's harder, but I work out at
home.
So yeah, like pairing rewardwith hard work too.
Unless your reward is I workedout, now I get to have a recess.
(15:46):
It's like we wow, wow.
Um, maybe you can because youburned all the calories, you
just put them back.
SPEAKER_01 (15:51):
Eat while you work out.
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (15:53):
I've seen videos of that's pretty funny.
Yeah, making those what was yourquestion of like how does it
become a habit?
SPEAKER_01 (16:01):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (16:02):
And then eventually it's that time slot that you
remember and you kind of fallinto gear.
Like for me, in the morning, Ihave a routine to start taking
care of this night's sleepbefore I even like I've just
woken up.
Well, I make sure I always goand drink my matcha outside in
(16:23):
the yard, getting the sunlightin my eyes because I realize
that really helps me sleep atnight if I get outdoors early in
the morning because it sets mycircadian rhythm.
I'm not a great sleeper, so Ihave to do a lot to ensure that
I can sleep.
And if I don't, then I fallapart and everything falls
(16:45):
apart.
So I discipline myself.
Oh, matcha time after the kidsare gone at school from 7:50 to
8 o'clock, I stand in the yardwith the sunlight in my eyes,
finish my matcha, and then getready for the day.
It's just become, I don't evenhave to think about it anymore.
Yeah.
Let the dogs out, go out becauseI realize the result I want
(17:06):
later on is good sleep in theevening.
If I stay indoors all day, Idon't get good sleep.
So it's like becomes like justalmost these little alarm bells
in your mind go off, or likeright when you wake up in the
morning.
Maybe your thought is, oh, do Ijump on the elliptical or do I
go for a walk?
(17:27):
It's like, you know, this isworkout time.
It's just what are you going todo?
And so in the beginning, itreally will come down to
probably a pretty tedious tightschedule of like, okay, this is
the half hour where I clean thehouse every day.
This is the 45 minutes I go fora walk every day.
And maybe it's not every singleday, but you vary it like
(17:49):
Monday, Wednesday, Friday,Tuesday, Thursday.
Sometimes daily things canbecome like daunting as well.
And you need kind of to changeit up, but it might need to be
plugged into your calendar, andthen it becomes just routine.
Yeah, for example.
SPEAKER_01 (18:05):
What gets scheduled gets done.
SPEAKER_00 (18:07):
Yeah, exactly.
And then it kind of becomes likeyou didn't even think about it
anymore.
It wasn't like an option, itjust happened.
SPEAKER_01 (18:14):
It's kind of incredible.
All the things that becomehabits, good or bad, just
naturally.
Like you don't think like, I'mjust gonna go to bed.
I'm well, maybe some peoplethink this, I'm just gonna go to
bed, I'm not gonna brush myteeth.
Like it's like, well, that'sjust a habit.
I just do that.
Yeah.
But these things that's likethey take time and they add up
throughout your day that youalways make time for.
Right.
Good or bad.
Right.
It's just that you want to havemore of obviously the good than
(18:36):
the bad that become the habits.
SPEAKER_00 (18:38):
Yeah, exactly.
And how do you need to move yourtime to make that happen?
Because I think the first thingon people's mind is like, I
don't have time.
And it's like, I don't have timenot to.
Like, I will like prioritize myhealth over everything, not
like, oh, well, I'm not going towork today.
(19:00):
But it's like I always will finda moment for it because if I
don't, then other things willfill that.
Right.
And then I never will get itdone.
I'll just allow things to creepin over and over and over again.
And so it's like, this has toget done.
This is non-negotiable to eathealthy, to have some exercise,
(19:22):
to have daylight.
And then even moving to thingslike, you know, a lot of pastors
neglect their social life.
So where are you filling thatin?
Like I notice if I go too longwithout hanging out with my
friends, I my personalitychanges a little bit for the
worse.
Like I am more irritable.
I kind of forget, you know, theparts of myself I like.
(19:45):
And so I've been trying to,okay, Friday morning.
That's a technically a day offfor me.
So can I go on a walk with afriend?
Can I meet a friend for coffee?
Can I go to lunch with a friend?
You know, and I try.
To schedule that at thebeginning of my week.
And then it gives me somethingto look forward to as well.
Instead of just sitting aroundwaiting for someone to text me,
(20:08):
oh, I haven't seen my friends inforever.
It's like, well, you grab theball and make it happen.
You have an open 9 to 11 on aFriday morning.
Could you get a coffee?
Because again, these are thethings that feed back into us to
keep us moving forward.
Sometimes if you're a highachiever, you look at this as a
waste of time or taking stepsback when you could be doing or
(20:29):
accomplishing, and you don'trealize, well, you are doing and
accomplishing because you'recaring for yourself, and
yourself has a long distance togo.
And you have to treat yourselflike a human as well, right?
SPEAKER_01 (20:45):
Little things to look forward to is really
underrated.
I feel like in life.
I mean, it doesn't even have tobe a major thing, but just
little things that's like, oh,tomorrow I get to, you know,
whatever that is.
Yeah.
It's kind of incredible.
SPEAKER_00 (20:56):
And like one a day, like Jeff is so sweet and makes
me a matcha latte every singlemorning.
And if it's not ready when Iwake up, I'm not mad.
I'm not mad.
I want you to know that.
I'm disappointed.
And so I'll kind of look at himbecause when I wake up, that's
(21:19):
what I have a whole day ahead ofme.
It's not gonna make itself ofall kinds of things.
But the matcha, I look forwardto it.
It's like the bright spot of mymorning.
SPEAKER_01 (21:30):
Like I love not me, not your children, the matcha.
SPEAKER_00 (21:35):
Those things are givens.
Okay.
I'm just saying that I that'slike a bright spot for me in the
day.
Or yes, once a week seeing afriend or going on a bike ride
doing something I really love.
And then maybe once a month,that's when all my friends come
together and we plan a frienddinner.
(21:55):
Last night we went to dinner ata friend's house.
Thank you, Andy.
It was very fun.
And it's like that what I hadbeen looking forward to that all
week.
You know, it's just somethingthat is gonna break the routine
that you can look forward to.
But here's the thing (22:08):
you have to schedule it.
Yeah, and that is where thesystem comes in.
We're talking about system,system, system.
It's sitting down with yourcalendar at the beginning of
every week and every month.
And like, where is this stuff?
Where is my workout?
Where is my meal prep?
Where are my friends?
(22:28):
Where are my group of friends?
Where is my family?
You know, we try to keep Sundayas like after church, like,
let's do something fun alltogether as a family.
We did this thing once or twice.
We need to do it more.
It was really fun.
Last goal of family fun night.
And there's four people in ourfamily, us two kids, and
everyone got 30 minutes to well,first we went to the store and
(22:52):
everyone got to choose any treatthey wanted, any snack, treat,
whatever, one thing.
And then we went home, and theneveryone got 30 minutes to pick
what they wanted to do, andeveryone had to do it with them
with no complaining.
SPEAKER_01 (23:05):
Because it's we have a therein lies the difficult
part.
SPEAKER_00 (23:09):
Well, because on a normal basis, like we have a
12-year-old and aseven-year-old, and they have
very different interests.
And so the what theseven-year-old wants to do, the
12-year-old doesn't want to do.
So it's so hard to findsomething we all enjoy.
But when we put those boundariesand parameters on, well, this is
like you have to do it, nocomplaining.
Everyone just got into it.
Like the seven-year-old wantedto play charades on the
(23:32):
trampoline.
I wanted to take the dogs for awalk.
The older one wanted to playvideo games altogether, and I
forget what you want to do.
SPEAKER_01 (23:41):
I don't think I got 30 minutes, but that's okay.
I was making matches.
SPEAKER_00 (23:45):
Poor Jeff.
We did something, I just can'tremember.
I don't remember either.
SPEAKER_01 (23:51):
I don't think we did.
SPEAKER_00 (23:52):
Well, looks like we ran out of time, you guys.
Better luck next time.
SPEAKER_01 (23:58):
The story of the dead.
SPEAKER_00 (24:03):
But you enjoyed all the things.
Totally.
This took a sad turn.
So that was like our family.
Okay, what are we doing Sunday?
Yeah.
You know, like that's kind oflike a standing appointment,
unless we, you know, sometimesan event or whatever comes up,
but that's usually a standing.
(24:23):
We know we're gonna do somethingas a family Sunday night.
Does it happen every singleweek?
No, because who knows?
There could be an event or adinner, whatever for work.
But so, anyways, that's that'sthat.
And then, like looking at yourmental and emotional health as
well.
That's another area that pastorstend to neglect until it's too
(24:44):
late.
You know, we always enact thisstuff when we're in a crisis,
but what if we just maintainedthe health and then we got to
run a very healthy long race?
And we didn't have to take afive-year sabbatical because we
had a mental breakdown.
No shame if we had to, but I'msaying, like, there's also
(25:06):
preventative medicine, right?
And so meeting with a therapist,why not?
Like, is there anything likeabsolutely broken and wrong with
you?
No, you don't have to go totherapy when you're at rock
bottom.
You can go to therapy just tohave another sounding board to
(25:27):
process feelings with someonewho is a third party unbiased
with your mental health and andtherapy.
Again, that's something youschedule.
Okay, every other week.
Um you don't have to do it everysingle week.
How about twice a month?
Why not?
What's the worst that couldhappen?
You do it for a while and thenyou're like, I'm good, like
(25:48):
wasn't for me.
Then, you know, your your mentalhealth as well, or sorry, your
emotional health is kind of tiedinto that as well.
But um, I even do things tosharpen my mind and my memory
and my cognitive skills.
Cause you know, we're at the agelike once you're in your 20s,
30s, 40s, 50s, 60, like you'renot always learning new skills,
(26:11):
new languages anymore.
So, what are you doing to keepyourself mentally sharp?
So I even do things, you know,to keep my mental or my
cognitive skills up, you know,because we're not learning a ton
of new things anymore.
And so those synapses aren'tfiring as much as they once were
(26:33):
when we were, you know, childrengoing to school, learning new
things, learning new skills,growing physically.
Like we can kind of hit like amental plateau, if you will.
So, you know, there's a lot ofthings out there to help kind of
keep you like you could learn anew skill.
If you're like, yeah, when do Ihave the time to take guitar
(26:53):
lessons or piano lessons?
I get that.
So there's like apps.
I use Lumosity and you still usethat?
Yeah.
Um, it's really fun.
SPEAKER_01 (27:03):
Some of them still use that.
They are kind of fun.
SPEAKER_00 (27:07):
Yeah, they they're different games that they give
you every day to help differentparts of cognition, like task
changing or problem solving, orthere's some linguistic type
things, or multitasking.
And so it's like helping yourbrain light up in ways that just
do going about your normal dailylife wouldn't.
(27:28):
And then continuing to learn aswell, like being a reader.
I think, you know, I know Jeffdoes not love to read, and so he
always has a defense against it.
But I think as a pastor, youlearn a lot though.
You listen to podcasts.
SPEAKER_01 (27:44):
I do.
So you are this one.
SPEAKER_00 (27:46):
Don't listen.
But you you are learning a lot.
SPEAKER_01 (27:49):
I I play Wordle.
I'd like to say that I got onefirst try yesterday.
SPEAKER_00 (27:57):
You're so smart.
SPEAKER_01 (27:59):
First time.
It was like 400 and somethingtimes, and I finally got one on
first try.
That's not a skill, that's totalluck.
SPEAKER_00 (28:07):
Wow.
I forget what Wordle is.
SPEAKER_01 (28:09):
Where you it's a five-letter word, it's a new one
every day, and you get like sixchances to figure out what the
five-letter word is.
Uh so I've been playing the sameword for a while.
That's true.
I don't know if anyone's playingWordle.
It popped up on my paid for AOLaccount.
Just kidding.
Um, yeah, but I like nobodyknows what AOL is.
(28:31):
No, you see, kids.
So yeah, but I got it first try.
SPEAKER_00 (28:35):
Wow.
Biggest acknowledgement.
Well, what's your word?
SPEAKER_01 (28:38):
Social media and like no likes, no love,
whatever.
Because they're like, what'sWordle?
What's the what?
What's the rule?
SPEAKER_00 (28:45):
Well, what's the word?
SPEAKER_01 (28:46):
Oh, tulip is the one I've been playing for over a
year.
Why you ask?
Well, I'm glad you asked thatquestion.
Is because not be my 30 minutesof enjoyment time with the
(29:09):
family.
SPEAKER_00 (29:10):
It's not.
That's what I was gonna say.
Um, yeah, reading.
What are you going to read thisyear?
What are you going to learn?
How are you going to developyourself professionally,
learning and reading all thetime?
As I think for a leader, that isseriously non-negotiable.
Like, how are you expanding yourunderstanding of everything?
(29:31):
Because we lead people in somany areas.
And we can't just like stop oureducation and just, oh, whatever
I think.
I mean, obviously, we'restudying the word all the time,
and everything comes back to,you know, this biblical lens of
everything, but there's so muchbiblical, like pastors who write
(29:55):
books are ways of seeing thingsthat help us in our job, help us
be better teachers, help us bebetter leaders.
I feel like leaders should bereading and learning every
single day to become better athow we lead people.
So yeah, and then the thoseanswer, these are the systems,
(30:16):
like okay, so a system formental health.
When I'm in the car waiting forpickup, a lot of times I want to
scroll TikTok.
And my brain says, do that.
That's really fun for you.
Because you're gonna see a funnyDachshund video, you're gonna
get a new recipe, you're gonnafind out, you know, some funny
(30:37):
like I love my algorithm rightnow, so hilarious.
But I have a book on mypassenger seat that has to do
with professional development,leadership development, and I
read that instead.
I know, and then when the carsstart moving, then I'm like,
okay, maybe I can watch oneTikTok, right?
SPEAKER_01 (30:55):
Um while the cars are moving, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (30:58):
Drive and watch, it's fine.
But um I make myself do that, orI make myself open the Lumosity
app and do a few of the likecognitive health games and stuff
like that.
But see, that's a system that'sbuilt in.
When I'm in the car, idle time,it's these are my two options
(31:18):
book or this.
And so I've built that into thesystem of pickup.
So what and and then you findall the available time you have
as well.
You know, there are these littlepockets when people say I don't
have time.
Well, what are the pockets oftime that you could put toward
that?
And I feel like I fit it all in,and I don't feel like I was so
(31:42):
busy and my head's gonna falloff.
You know, it was like I fit in acouple of games here.
I I read before I went to bed orI read in the car.
Like it happened because it wasjust a part of the rhythm that
I've set up the system.
It doesn't feel like this, ohno, kind of thing.
And so you might have toexchange some like wants for for
(32:09):
needs at the beginning.
You know what I mean?
Like there might be a time thatyou might have to give up for
something else.
But the ultimate question iswhat is most important to you
and becoming who you want tobecome?
Is it another episode of fill inthe blank?
Does is that helping you becomewho you want to become?
(32:30):
And you might say, Oh, I want tobe a rested person.
Yeah, I still watch a show.
We are watching some show rightnow.
I can't remember the name of it.
And it's like terminal list,yeah.
Okay, so it's like I stillwatched it, it just I didn't
have to watch it for an hour anda half.
I did all the things I needed todo, and then I watched 20
(32:51):
minutes and went to bed, youknow.
Like it wasn't even that much.
I was really tired last night,but I still fit in a coffee with
a friend, I still fit in thesethings that make my life
enjoyable.
It's just the system bringsbalance to it all so that your
autopilot of desire isn't incontrol.
(33:14):
You know what I mean?
Because if you just leave it upto desire, it's like I don't
feel like meal prepping.
It's easier to go through thedrive-thru.
So, you know, the system has tobe in place until it becomes
second nature to you.
Because maybe second nature toyou right now is watching an
hour and a half of TV in theevening when you still could
(33:34):
have watched TV, but half ofthat could have been strength
training.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Or simultaneous, like we weresaying.
So it the system can work withthe right intentionality.
Because yeah, as we go into thisnext year, I hope we're all
asking the question not justwhat do I want to do and what do
(33:54):
I want to accomplish, but who doI want to be?
What kind of person do I want tobe?
How do I want to steward thephysical, mental, emotional,
spiritual capacities that Godhas given me in my I mean, I
only get one life, you know?
And here's the thing too, like,I don't know exactly the
(34:16):
questions God asks us at the endof our life, but I do know we're
accountable to our life and howwe spend it.
How do we love others?
How do we do like because I wantto do ministry for as long as
possible, and I guess I seethose systems as a vehicle to do
it, you know, so that mypersonal unhealth doesn't get in
(34:41):
the way of what I want toaccomplish for the kingdom.
I think that's a good note toend on.
SPEAKER_01 (34:45):
Yeah.
And and with that kind of comeswith that um a little bit of
strictness where you have tohave like accountability with
yourself to make sure.
Yeah, there's discipline forsure.
The hard things.
There's Paul talks about that.
Right.
There's a uh scene in ForrestGump where he talks about when
he goes, like just startsrunning, like for like all day
long or whatever, he's like, ifI'm tired, I stopped and slept.
(35:07):
If I was hungry, I would stopand eat.
And that idea has always likebeen in my head.
Like, what would life look likeif you were just like, I'm gonna
do what I want to do?
Like if you financially, if youwere like a bajillionaire and
you would money was not anissue, but it's like I'm gonna
do whatever I feel like doing.
You would screw up your life sofast based off of doing only
(35:27):
what your desires were tellingyou to do.
Yeah, like if you said, I'mtired, I'm gonna go to bed, it's
six, it's six o'clock at night,and you go to bed, you would
probably be up at three in themorning for the day.
Now you've screwed up that day,or I'm hungry, I'm gonna eat,
and I want to eat this, and it'sbad for me.
Like it would snow.
I literally would be like on mydeathbed after a week because of
(35:49):
all the stupid things that Iwanted to do that I shouldn't
have done.
Obviously, that's an extremeexample, but it's like you do
have to kind of take somestrictness into your systems and
say, no, I really do have to dothis.
I totally don't want to do it,but I have to because if they
don't do it, the resultsafterwards I'm gonna really
regret.
SPEAKER_00 (36:09):
Well, and you're totally right.
And Tim Keller talks a lot aboutlike our desires and how a lot
of sin is like misplaceddesires.
And it's like this idea, likeyou were talking about what if
we just lived on our desires,you know, like a child.
That's what children do, that'swhy they need parents because
(36:30):
parents are the regulator of thechildren's desires until the
child is mature enough toregulate their own desires.
That's why kids want ice creamfor breakfast, and that's why
they want to binge TV all daylong and rot, you know, but
parents serve as that regulator.
And so, like, I think there is aspiritual element where you can
(36:50):
ask God to help you rewrite someof these desires too, so that
it's not this like uphill battleevery single day.
Like Paul talks about disciplineof an athlete and he talks about
you know running the race andall of that.
And, you know, I think there isa level of discipline that we
(37:12):
need forever.
But I also think you can ask Godto rewrite that desire so that
it's almost a joy, not a burden.
Like when I go for a walk, I'mnot like, uh, I hate it.
I'm like, I'm praying, I'mwalking, I'm outside, it's
beautiful, you know, it's apleasure.
Did it start that way?
(37:33):
I don't know.
Probably not.
I don't really remember, butit's like God can rewrite and
replace our desire for somethingnot good for us with something
good for us, you know, and youcan ask for that, you know.
And so it does take disciplinemaybe at the beginning, but I
think it's completely possiblefor him to rewrite those.
(37:57):
So it would be discipline,obviously, right in the
beginning, you know, you have tojust get it on the calendar and
do it, make it a habit.
But then over time, he canrewrite those desires so that
you start to desire what's goodfor you and instead of what's
bad for you.
I think that's completelypossible.
SPEAKER_01 (38:14):
Yeah.
Also, it's probably why asadults we start to eventually
get to the point where we'resaying ice cream for breakfast.
That sounds so gross as anadult, but as a child, you're
like, this is the greatest ideain the world, you know?
SPEAKER_00 (38:25):
Right, because your desires mature.
SPEAKER_01 (38:27):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (38:27):
Yeah.
And they should maturespiritually as well.
You know, but Tim Keller talks alot about that, though, of your
desires maturing past childhood.
Like, yeah, why doesn't thetrash that you used to want like
I used to eat sticks of butterwhen I was a kid, like straight
out of the fridge, right?
I don't know why.
I was compelled to do it.
(38:49):
And so someone told me it was acartilage deficiency or
something because theirs saidthey did too.
I don't know.
I was eating sticks of butter.
But then as you mature, yourcravings change, your desires
change, and spiritually, youknow, it should be the same.
We should want what's good forus so that we can do kingdom
(39:09):
work well and for the long haulwithout getting in the way of
it, you know.
SPEAKER_01 (39:15):
Um, you had talked about earlier, you know, kind of
incorporating friendships andrelationships into your daily
life or weekly life.
Uh, we did an episode a longtime ago, but it was a really
good one about youth pastorsneed more friends and kind of
like just other people in theirlife and not just focusing
totally on just work all thetime.
I would encourage you guys maybeto check that episode out.
(39:36):
All right, let's do a communitycomment of the day.
This comes from our good friendChristian Tonkins, who's also a
member.
SPEAKER_00 (39:43):
What's that last name?
SPEAKER_01 (39:44):
I know.
It's it's next level.
We met him um actually at theDYM 100.
I think it was the 100 um radguy.
He's also like eight feet tall.
Um, wasn't expecting that.
What?
SPEAKER_00 (39:56):
I said hard to miss.
SPEAKER_01 (39:57):
Oh, yeah.
That's an artemis.
Artis.
Artemis.
SPEAKER_00 (40:01):
That's my nickname for it.
SPEAKER_01 (40:02):
Anyways, Christian, he's a member of our YMGA
course.
Rad guy, he says, love thisshow.
One of my all-time favoriteepisodes was episode 107:
Practices for Speaking toStudents Better.
It gave me so much confidencethat I needed in that time.
So thank you.
SPEAKER_00 (40:17):
Thank you, Artemis.
SPEAKER_01 (40:18):
Thank you, Christian.
It was great meeting you.
And we thank you guys so muchfor watching and listening.
And we'll see you next time.
Do you see what I see?
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Glad you appreciate the uh toomany words, Jeff.
(40:42):
You're here too.
SPEAKER_00 (40:43):
Somebody else talk now.
I don't know how to land thislane.
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