Episode 42. Brad Phelps (Grand Lodge Education Officer)

Thought provoking visit with Grand Lodge Education Officer, Brad Phelps.

Episode Transcript

(00:20):
Hi, everyone.
Welcome back.
It's another episode ofMinnesota Masonic Histories and
Mysteries.
My guest today is a past masterat Rochester Lodge No.
21 and Cassin Mantorville LodgeNo.
11.
He likes history, but he reallyloves people, their stories, and
sowing the seeds of meaningfulrelationships, the brotherhood

(00:42):
we talk about.
So frequently as Freemasons,he's currently in his second
stint as the Grand Lodgeeducation officer in Minnesota.
And when he's not a busy Mason,he's spending time with family,
carves out some time for, I liketo call it that pesky job at the
Mayo clinic is everyone has tobalance that as well.
Welcome Brad Phelps.

(01:03):
Reed.
It's a pleasure to be here.
Thanks so much for, for joiningme.
Tell us a bit more about you.
If you've listened to thepodcast, you know, the drill
would love to hear where yougrew up, where'd you go to
school.
Certainly.
So I grew up in Cedar Rapids,Iowa.
Uh, it was a great place to growup.
Uh, back in the late 70s, early80s, people were very close to

(01:28):
each other.
So I grew up with, uh, theneighbors in the neighborhood as
extensions of my family.
Uh, I went to school, uh, at, atWashington High School in Cedar
Rapids.
Um, followed my mom's footstepsand went to the University of
Wisconsin Eau Claire where Istudied computer science and

(01:50):
English and met the love of mylife, Amanda Phelps.
And that was one of myquestions.
How did you meet your lovelybride?
So you met in school?
We did.
Yeah.
I, I had had a breakup with agirlfriend and went to the on
campus nightclub.
Um, uh, it's kind of aninteresting thing, but music has
always centered me and so I justkind of sat there alone and was

(02:14):
listening to the music andAmanda came and approached me
which was really out ofcharacter for her and we became
friends and eventually Starteddating.
What was the song playing whenyou met?
Do you remember?
Oh, you're gonna get me intotrouble I know she that night
There was a lot of nine inchnails the timing was right and

(02:37):
there were one of my favoritebands I don't know specifically
when she walked up to me, butit's very likely it would have
been something like that or, um,club music from the early 90s.
See, I was hoping it would besomething.
You'd remember but almost belike a like a Bonnie Tyler song
or something.
I'll save myself.
So after After meeting we we thefirst thing we did is walk to a

(03:03):
time machine So if anybody islistening to this from
Wisconsin, they know what I'mtalking about for the rest.
It's a Automatic teller machine.
Okay, and it was A few blocksaway and during that we somehow
heard Uninvited by AlanisMorissette and that kind of
became our song.
Nice.

(03:24):
She just played at the YachtClub concert in St.
Paul a few weeks back.
It was a two day festival.
The Black Crows canceled the daybefore.
I was super bummed.
I won't get into that now, butapparently she was outstanding.
Several friends and brothersattended that and said, I'm,
well, basically we missed out aton on that.
So you pursued computer sciencein school.

(03:46):
Is that something that, tell usabout your role at Mayo Clinic.
Yeah.
So I I'm very proud actually tobe a part of Mayo Clinic story.
Uh, and there was a documentarythat came out not long ago that
really.
Brought that home, you know, youcan contribute to an overall
mission.
But until you see something likethat documentary, it sometimes

(04:07):
is not obvious how much of arole you're playing in it.
So I'm a principal softwareengineer.
I have the pleasure every day toserve many people that are out
there delivering software tohelp mail clinic and its
practice.
Been involved in architectureand engineering roles at Mayo

(04:30):
since 2007.
Uh, I really love thephilosophies at Mayo and their
rich ties.
That stands for respect,integrity, caring, healing.
teamwork, innovation,excellence, and stewardship, uh,
themes that are probably veryfamiliar to us.

(04:51):
And that's no coincidencebecause both Will Worrell Mayo
and his son Charlie Mayo wereindeed Freemasons and members of
Rochester Lodge No.
21.
And that's something we've had alot of fun conversations about
in the past with how muchoverlap there was with the
Masonic fraternity, our valueteachings, and what inspired

(05:11):
them.
To start initially from, Ibelieve it was a very humble
beginning.
Is it, can you tell me the quickstory about when the microscope,
the, the, the, uh, mortgage ofthe house or the, this is, give
us a little context on the, whattime, uh, what year we're
looking at at this time too.
Yeah.
Um, so I, I don't know the endor the exact year.

(05:34):
I can say that will warl wasthe.
examining surgeon for the UnionArmy in Rochester, Minnesota.
So that puts it in somewhere inthe 18, probably the late 1860s,
by the time, sorry, 18, yeah,50s or 60s, somewhere in there.

(05:56):
Um, and he had the recognitionthat he could help serving the
community around him if he gotsome better instrumentation.
Um.
Wanted to get a microscope.
Approached his wife and saidthat he wanted to purchase it
and they had to mortgage theirhouse to pay for it.
So, unbelievable.
Yeah, yeah.
Uh, this shows up throughout thehistory of Mayo Clinic and Will

(06:19):
Worrell, not to be confused withhis son, Will, Uh, ran for
numerous offices, was on theschool board and ended up
becoming a Minnesota Senator.
Uh, and the reason I say not tobe confused with his son, Will,
Will and Charlie, uh, bothpracticed medicine, were
involved with Mayo Clinic, arevery famous, and there's

(06:42):
sculptures at Mayo that showthem.
Charlie came back from medschool and petitioned at the
lodge almost immediately andbecame active in the craft.
Will deferred petitioning, butlater showed interest.
By the time he took the step, hewas so busy with administrative
work at Mayo, he just couldnever Get the time to go through

(07:04):
the degrees and a funny story.
I verified this in Rochester'ssesquicentennial book.
The Grand Master wanted to makeWill Mason on site.
And the legend has it thatWill's response to that is if I
went through the degrees so, soshould Will.
Um, so yeah, some of this isconfirmed in the

(07:27):
sesquicentennial book.
Interesting.
Interesting.
It's, it's sad that, that Willnever became a member, but he
definitely was a large supporterfor the Lodge, just like
Charlie.
Well, I, I think of that storyfrequently, that life being so
full of near misses.
What if he had not purchasedthat microscope?

(07:51):
That was the Catalyst for theMayo Clinic and all that we know
it to be today.
That was the first step.
And I'm sure if you're going tomortgage your house to purchase
something, obviously there's alittle tension on the home front
with that, but he did it.
And that just ended up cascadingfrom there.
Yeah, for sure.
And you know, the butterflyeffect I think is a real thing.

(08:14):
Uh, we oftentimes don't know howspecific factors cascade into
how the world evolves.
But what I will say is.
This was a part of WillWorrall's character.
Uh, there's numerous storiesabout sacrifice focusing on the
patient that ultimately turnedinto what we say now, um, needs
of the patient come first.

(08:35):
And, uh, it shows up in, in thecollaborations that were
established in Mayo Clinic andwhy we have research, education,
and practice as our, as ourshields today.
Well, I really admire what youdo in your role, and that must
be, I can assume, verygratifying to be contributing

(08:56):
technology and computer IT, allof these things, to the inner
network and functioning of aninstitution making an impact on
the globe.
Yeah, a hundred percent, and youknow, it was really driven home
when my, my daughter Taryn wasborn.
Many listeners may not knowthat.

(09:18):
My youngest daughter, Taryn, wasborn with a rare syndrome called
Mobius Syndrome.
It means that her sixth andseventh cranial nerve didn't
develop like they should have.
Um, because it's rare, it's not,it's not largely known.
And the RN at Nurse, and I, oran RN at Mayo, and I had with

(09:43):
the physicians.
was unparalleled and just atremendous sense of family.
You know, I'm a technologist andI'm home at the time with my
three year old daughter.
And what was I gonna do?
You know, I went straight to Dr.
Google and started sharing thethings that I was observing

(10:06):
about Taryn and found YouTubepresentations and articles about
Mobius.
Shared it with Amanda, who isstaying with Taryn, uh, who then
gave it to the physician.
The diagnosis came out, and, uh,the physician was very humble
and said, We've made thediagnosis that indeed your

(10:27):
daughter has Moebius Syndrome,but I think your husband
diagnosed that before we did.
See, well done on Dr.
Google or self diagnosing onWebMD that, uh, It happens more
and more as we age that, Oh, Ihave a little pain or this, and
Oh God, this could be WebMD saysthis might be really bad.
Yeah.
You got to be careful with that.

(10:48):
Um, you know, there's technologyunlocks a lot of things, but
it's important to still, ofcourse, consult with your
physician and healthcareproviders.
It can be very easy to, tomisdiagnose the, the good thing
about Mobius is there are somevery specific things.
Uh, that really led to that, andit was just a matter of

(11:09):
exploring and trying to discoverwhat it is that was largely
unknown for two to three weeksof our life.
Wow, that had to be, it wasbrutal, brutal.
I can't think of that.
Well, there, let's go withbrutal.
Yes.
And on the positive of that, tohave a wife who's an RN and then
being already immersed in Mayoand having resources like that

(11:31):
was perhaps the, the best.
Um, and I think that's a reallygood option if you were having
to go through this.
Yeah, I mean, I rememberthinking how blessed we were.
Uh, in fact, I wrote a two, twopart article about this, both
for Mayo and for the Osman.
I can tell you the connectioninto Osman in a minute.

(11:52):
That really highlighted theblessing of the, the colleagues
that we had, both from, uh,Obstetrics, where my wife works,
and from IT, and, and where Iwas, and I thought, This is
pretty cool, too, that I'm ableto help my daughter because at
the time I thought some of thechallenges she faces, technology

(12:13):
over time may be able to helpwith as well.
The connection to Osman is,Osman Shrine, Osman Shrine,
yeah, is Mayo didn't have ahydrotherapy program at the
time, and one of the The effectsof Mobius is limited eye
movement, and we take that forgranted.

(12:35):
Taryn can cross her eyes, butshe can't turn to look out of
the sides.
And that's pretty pivotal tobalance and walking when you're
young.
And because of that, her muscleswere somewhat atrophied.
We didn't know if she would everbe out of a wheelchair.
Uh, some of my Shriner friendsheard about this and came to me

(13:00):
and said, you know, we do thisat the Shriner's Hospital.
Uh, would you consider coming upfor that?
And we, we did that a few timesand I, We got braces for her,
and I have no doubt that thatwas a huge contributing factor
to why she's walking today, andoften I have a hard time giving

(13:21):
up with her.
Wonderful story, and to see thatcollaboration in mentioning
Osmond Shrine and the ShrineHospital here locally now in
Woodbury, and we've had similarconversations with Dr.
Masonic Cancer Center at U of M,the collaboration, the sharing
of all of these resources.
The results of research with,with Mayo, they're comparing

(13:44):
notes all the time on thingslike this.
It's, that's a good, thanks forsharing that.
I've learned a lot about you sofar today of, I didn't know that
Amanda was an employee there in,near you or within the, within
the system.
You had also touched on adocumentary, which was also
sparked my mind that we've beentalking, you and I about another

(14:06):
documentary that has come outrecently.
Uh, by Robert Putnam.
So if our listeners may or maynot have heard of a book that,
uh, Robert Putnam wrote back inthe late eighties, early
nineties called Bowling Aloneand, uh, Robert Putnam had a
pretty fascinating career ofresearching the value of social

(14:27):
capital, social networks.
He spent a significant amount oftime 1970s and basically
concluded that places that have.
that, that do have a reality ofbetter government, a more
harmonious society, are wherepeople are involved in
activities.
And activities as in civicinvolvement, fraternal

(14:50):
organizations, churches, anysort of a community group.
And bowling alone was followedup by a book he wrote called The
Upswing.
We're very excited that comingup on November 11th, we are
going to be hosting at the IvesAuditorium at the Minnesota
Masonic Heritage Center, ashowing of a documentary called

(15:13):
Join or Die.
Now the Join or Die documentaryis highlights Robert Putnam's
work in Bowling Alone and TheUpswing.
And, and really showcases thepositive realities of getting
involved in our society again.
He does cite the, the join ordie title is a bit of a play on

(15:35):
words.
When I initially heard that, Ithought, well, is this just
going to be all about JohnAdams?
But the reason he titled that isthat a person's chances of dying
within the next year are cut inhalf if they were to join one
single group.
So, joining a group, whetherit's a fraternal organization, a
civic organization, you, youpick.

(15:57):
Fill in the blank of whateverthat passion might be for
someone.
And he, we're really lookingforward to this, about a 90
minute production that will beairing again on November the
11th, it's a Monday night, atthe, uh, Ives Auditorium at the
Minnesota Masonic HeritageCenter.
More to come on that.
And to be clear, no snakes willbe harmed in this join or die

(16:19):
initiative, right?
Good reference, and those whoget it will get that one.
But I think that's a great pointto talk about how we become a
bit lost.
Our focus in this world, thepriorities that we have right
now.
We feel so disconnected in thisdigital isolation that we live

(16:39):
in.
The world is so focused on I,me, and my.
Have a great day.
You've heard me talk a lot, alot about the friendship
recession that exists out there.
Earlier this year, the WallStreet Journal polled men in
their 30s.
One in five men share it thatthey have zero close friends at
all.
Zero.

(17:00):
So, if we ask the question, whatis our purpose within a society
that is, the reality is we'reisolated, we're alone, And yet
somehow we spend a lot of timechampioning things like unity
and collaboration and comingtogether.
This is quite the paradox, butwhat are your thoughts on that?
Oh, I couldn't have said itbetter.

(17:21):
You know, we live in a worldwhere Twitter entices us to
share ideas and limited amountof words.
And I think that's problematicbecause as one of my heroes
says, we are doomed to see theworld as we are and not as it
is.
And especially as people havegone remote, uh, they're more

(17:44):
and more disconnected frompeople.
You know, when I was a kid, if Iwanted to go see a movie, I had
to go to a movie theater, and Iwas around people.
If I wanted to play video games,very few people could, uh,
afford a console, and went tothe arcade.
If I wanted a computer, somepeople had them, but a lot of

(18:05):
times we had to go to a computerlab or to the library.
Consumerism has made it so weall have this in our home, and
functionally it disincentivizesus from getting out into the
world.
Additionally, while we might bemore connected, um, The art of
being able to have aconversation and seek first to

(18:28):
understand then to be understoodis sadly lost.
And part of that is because eventhough we're interconnected,
it's like giving everybody abullhorn and not having real
time interactions.
And from a workforceperspective, One of my other

(18:49):
heroes, uh, Simon Sinek, talksabout appropriate usage of
business tools and asynchronouscommunication.
You shouldn't do that for thingsthat could be potentially
emotional.
And yet, we find ourselvestrying to do more and more of
that in the name of efficiencyat the cost of effectiveness.

(19:10):
You know, I'm a big fan of SimonSinek.
And it also reminds me of DavidBrooks, an author, commentator,
columnist who recently showcasedthe reality, put it really well,
that here we are connected byall of these different
platforms, social media, onlinechats, you don't even have to

(19:30):
list all of those.
And yet society now equates anonline or virtual experience as
somehow connection with others.
And we know that not to be thecase.
We have that illusion of contactbecause, We have hundreds if not
thousands of friends orfollowers or, or some sort of

(19:51):
interaction but that is trulyhollow.
That is not the basis for anauthentic and a meaningful
relationship.
And yet, here we are in thisworld that can't figure out why
can't we connect when we have somuch connection.
Yeah, no, that's And, and I'mgoing to double down on what I
said about efficiencies asopposed to effectiveness.

(20:13):
You know, for, for the brothersthat are listening to this, I
would ask, How many of us know,really know the, the members
that we're connected with in ourlodge to the point where we know
the name of their wives, theirkids, what their passions are?
Um, and, and can really speak tothat.
Uh, if you're able to do that,wonderful.

(20:35):
If not, I would challenge you todo that because that's how those
relationships are built.
It's a great point and that alsoreminded me of something that
when David Brooks had shared inhis book that seemed very
applicable to us in our MasonicLodge setting and in fact it
even applies to our work settingat the office or even at home

(20:57):
that just because we spend timetogether under the same roof
does not mean that we truly knowone another and maybe that's
more prevalent in the office.
You can think about a co workeryou maybe have had for five
years or 10 years.
Sure, you know their name.
Maybe you know the name of theirkids.
You've seen their photo onsomeone's desk or at their

(21:18):
cubicle.
But yet if that's where itstops, if you don't have
curiosity about that person,spend time together away from
the mission of work.
And develop and hone and work atthat relationship, it's easy to
be blissfully aware of thereality of someone that we're
right next to.

(21:38):
And not to mention what happenseven in relationships, couples
that have been married for yearsand years and years.
And maybe this is something morefor older people, older than us,
but how often have we heard thatsomeone say, well, even though
we've been married for.
50, 60 years, my spouse doesn'teven know me at all because we

(22:01):
stop, they stop being curiousabout one another.
They stop talking, interacting,and really doing more than just
being pedestrians around oneanother.
How, how do we get around that?
In this world, this is quitethe, the crossroads we're at
with social media and theability to post something from

(22:21):
the basement and let it go viraland have no consequence of that,
but.
The connection really is face toface, human to human.
I just don't believe that AIwill ever be able to replicate
the human connection.
It'll do a lot of things for us.
But if we want to thrive in aworld of AI, we had better get

(22:43):
good at relationships, bothwithin our Masonic and fraternal
circles and in society ingeneral.
Yeah, well, there's a lot there.
So The first thing is I'd loveto respond to what you said
about AI simply by saying Weshould be mindful that AI is
ingesting information that weare providing and it is Helping

(23:07):
it To build those probabilitymatches on how things should be
answered So from thatperspective Please keep in mind
What's reflected in what we dothat's captured in an
information age because AI isgoing to be able to ingest and
utilize that.
And, uh, a comic book reference,with great power comes great

(23:32):
responsibility.
Yes.
With regard to your other point,um, I think it's really
important to reflect on our, oursituation here in the world.
And one of, I've struggled withthis, like why does person A do

(23:55):
what they're doing or person Bdo what they're doing?
The first thing is we have toget to a place where we must
assume, uh, no evil intent.
Um, I really don't think mostpeople get up in the morning to
wreck our days.
And one of my most lovedadvisors, my mom, once told me,

(24:23):
you know, Brad, uh, people havea tendency to be very self
absorbed.
Uh, they're not thinking abouthow what they're doing is
impacting you.
They're thinking about what it,what it means for, for them.
They're And couple thatunderstanding with what I

(24:47):
referenced earlier from Covey,with we're doomed to see the
world as we are, not as it is,and understanding that we're
each experiencing life through afirst person experience.
So right now I'm seeing a lot ofcertain topics are off limits,
or people getting really upsetand not considering Hey, maybe I

(25:09):
should seek to understand whysomebody is saying something.
We've become judge immediately.
Um, and, and use language that Iwould equate to fire.
And there's some, there's somemartial arts, uh, philosophies
that talk about when you areapproached with fire, you must

(25:32):
respond with water.
And, uh, When you get languageof water, which I would equate
to complacency, uh, you need torespond with fire.
And I don't mean hateful wordsor strong words, but maybe
enthusiasm or energy.
The reason why all that'simportant is if we want to heal

(25:56):
some of what we're talking aboutand move forward and get better,
we've got to get back to a placewhere we're able to engage in
thoughtful debate.
Get to a place where we'recomfortable with, I have a view
of the world, uh, and I haveopinions, but I'm open to having
my mind changed throughdialogue.

(26:17):
I heard a good quote recentlythat the hotter the topic, the
cooler the tone and couldn'tagree more with that.
It's so, I really appreciatewhat you shared and from that
perspective, as we are justimmersed in.
A world that seems to celebratethe divisiveness, winning at all
costs, ground and pound youropponent no matter what.

(26:39):
Not seeking to find that middleground like we once were able to
do.
And maybe that's always beenthere.
We interviewed Tom McCarthy afew weeks back and I made a
point on a few things and he, hevery respectfully, but reality
said, well, some of the thingsthat you're acknowledging now at
the age that you were at for me,that they, they've always been
there.
Reed.

(27:00):
Well, okay, fair enough.
So maybe some things arebecoming more magnified to me at
this point.
But in my role is in workingwith membership with, with Grand
Lodge specifically, I am meetingtremendous young men who are
seeking a lot of things in theworld that we just described.

(27:20):
They're seeking connection,they're seeking a mentor, a
network of friends and brotherswho embrace.
core values and a likemindedness, yes, but still
maintaining everyone's ownunique identity.
But there's such an exhaustionout there.
Just generally speaking, asidefrom even our fraternal groups,

(27:42):
there's such an exhaustion ofthe divisive arguing, the I'm
right, you're wrong.
And then if we don't agree, wecan't be friends.
And it's something that.
And this is what keeps thehamster wheel going at three in
the morning for me sometimes.
How will we, clearly we, we maynot be able to have a wholesale

(28:04):
change just individually, but ifwe all take a concerted effort
at that, is that, is that wherewe begin?
Yeah, for sure.
And I think part of that goesback to my previous challenge
with getting to know people.
You know, it's, if you reallydon't know somebody and just
know their name, you don'tunderstand what makes them tick.

(28:25):
You haven't taken the time to dothat.
It can be a lot easier to bejudgmental.
Whereas if you get to know them,you become friends.
Um, it's way easier to give themthe benefit of the doubt.
And for those of you that, thatare in industries where you're
working remote, I would give youthat same challenge.

(28:48):
Get to know the people thatyou're around.
Find ways to do meetups.
Really get to know them.
So that you can really drivehome that assume no ill intent
philosophy.
And try to have activities thatstretch the mind and, and get
people to compare notes.
Cause that's our only way to, toreally understand the world

(29:10):
we're in.
I saw an article on LinkedInrecently that And to keep it
short, basically summarize thatremote workers are at this,
they're having a conundrum.
Those that can work remotely 100percent of the time are on one
hand feeling really isolated,completely disconnected for all

(29:32):
the obvious reasons.
And yet the option of going backinto the office doesn't appeal
to them either.
So how are you, there's going tohave to be a little give to get
in order to.
I get it.
We all want to work remotely ifthe weather's bad or have that
option.
Flexibility and use oftechnology obviously is, is
something important, but there'sa balance there.

(29:56):
Is it, you touched on somethingwhen we chatted recently about.
Is it work or life orclassrooms?
We're trying to make everythingso comfortable at all times.
Are, what's your, what was yourtake on that?
Yeah.
So just like we've becomeaddicted to, uh, instant

(30:18):
gratification, uh, cynic talksabout dopamine.
So there's, there's biologicalreasons for this.
We've grown to like easy answersand they're really, for anything
that's truly important, There isno real easy answer.
So, it's important to understandcorporate missions and cultures.

(30:40):
You know, the teams that make upthat culture.
Some people are going to sayfrom a betterment of the whole,
they're going to bring staffback on site.
And that, I've seen that happenwith some companies.
And that's great if it helps.

(31:00):
Create a good corporate cultureand it, and, and leads to the
mission.
Some will be hybrid, uh, somewill stay completely remote.
And I think you have to look atthe cohesion of the team and the
organizational mission to makethat decision.

(31:20):
That said, I do predict that forthose of us like myself that are
more extroverted and get So tosee if the staff's background
can and are charged up by beingaround people.
You might see if the companydoesn't call the staff back that
people band together and rentoffice space so that they can
work together and be co located,even if that's not something

(31:44):
that's happening in the company.
I experienced that personally ina former profession.
Everyone was still efficient.
It was a phone based recruitingtype of a role.
Teams still got along, buthaving that disconnect over
time, those who were maintainingan efficiency and productivity

(32:09):
were granted, you want to workat home?
Work at home.
But over time, over the courseof two years of that, it was
palpable that the team chemistrywas suffering from that.
That people were undercuttingone another.
This is a very challengingcareer anyway in the world of
recruiting clients andcandidates and it was something

(32:32):
that I look back in hindsightand didn't really realize at the
time.
But having that disconnect,everyone being isolated behind a
computer at home or wherevertheir workstation was that day,
really led to less of aconnection, less courtesy, less
kindness, less.
Hey, let's find a solution tothis, the, the, the, the

(32:52):
infighting was off the chartsand, and obviously hybrid work
arrangements is, it's the way togo and it's the way of today's
world and of the future andflexibility is key.
But there's so much to be saidabout the experience of spending
time together in a quality wayand not just staring at each

(33:14):
other on teams or on zoom.
And how this all really comesback around as well to our
Masonic fraternity and theexperience that facing the
reality that society has changedtoo because the prior generation
of people focused on acquiringthings and stuff has

(33:37):
transitioned into peoplefocusing on experiences and I
really want to see usacknowledge that reality in
package our product, for lack ofa better term, in that manner,
that the young, younger folksthat are the average age of, of

(33:58):
interested gentlemen and joiningour Masonic fraternity is about
35.
They're tired of chasing thestuff.
They're seeking that connection.
They're seeking to have theirlives enriched by giving back in
the, in the community, in ameaningful way, So, uh, we're
going to be meeting friends,brothers, someone that could
serve as a mentor for them, orsomeone that they could be a

(34:20):
mentor mentee type of arelationship.
And it's really not complicated.
And yet, the world makes itcomplicated.
Sometimes these, these startingpoint solutions are less
difficult than we, forming thatnew habit.
You know, I'm a big fan of JamesClear, as also he He wrote a

(34:41):
book called Atomic Habits, andhe, one of his quotes was, I'm
sorry for being a quote machine,but I'm not smart enough to come
up with these things.
I like to read everyone else,Simon Sinek, James Clear, David
Brooks, you name it.
But it's also applicable to ourpersonal lives, our professional
lives, and our Masonicexperience too.
One of his quotes was, if you'rehaving trouble sticking to a new

(35:03):
habit, try a similar versionuntil it becomes automatic.
Do less than you're capable of.
but do it more consistently thanyou have before.
Yeah.
Um, you know, as softwareengineers, we understand that
the only way to master things isto practice them.

(35:23):
And however we can get closer todoing that, uh, is an important
thing.
And, you know, it's a good segueinto applied education because
it's one thing to say thatyou've read about something or
understand it.
It's, another thing to actuallypractice it, and that's one of
the things that I'm supergrateful to be a part of this

(35:47):
fraternity for because I'msurrounded by men that have a
common mission and want to workto improve themselves, and how
they go about that is is uniquebased on what different
differentiates them as brothersand differentiates the lodges.

(36:10):
And I just think that's awonderful framework to be able
to apply some of that iterativeapproach, uh, to practice that
you just talked about.
Well, it's something I'veappreciated about you as a
friend and a brother in ourconversation comes full circle
that I know you like history.
We love talking about the Mayofamily and so many Masonic

(36:32):
history and otherwise, but youlove people.
You love their stories.
You are about the relationship.
And it is one of those thingsthat you and I as friends know
that my phone is on 24 seven andyours as well.
And we both know that if therewas ever anything, however great
or small that I needed or youneeded.

(36:55):
Call me, text me, whatever youdo, don't think that, Oh, I
shouldn't bother.
I shouldn't bother Brad.
It's it's too late or it'sinconvenient.
That is the essence of our, ofour fraternity is knowing what's
going on in each other's lives,being there for one another.
And as that discovery has comefrom me personally getting

(37:15):
older, it's really powerful.
Yeah, boy, that's, that's areally great topic too.
And.
For people that are wired aspeople whose cup is filled by
service, it can be a hard dealif people are afraid to approach
you.

(37:35):
And I see this both in theworkplace where people are
remote, you know, there might besomebody in leadership or so
forth that people are afraid toapproach because they're afraid
they're busy.
And the same thing with thelodge and, uh, oftentimes that,

(37:56):
that leads to, to loneliness.
So you know, if there'ssomething that you can, you can
learn from a brother, or if you,if you need their help, I, as
you said, Reid, I, I wouldn'thesitate.
And you're right also thatthere's, there's a list of
brothers that I know very wellthat Uh, if, if I really needed

(38:19):
help, or if Amanda needed help,she knows who they are.
And if every single member ofthe craft doesn't have those
people in mind, Uh, somethingneeds to be addressed about how
we're practicing.
Because, That's one of the keypieces of who we are and getting

(38:43):
to know people and making surethat everybody has somebody that
they can, they can look towardsfor guidance and have as a
mentor.
And the thing about truementorship that I really love is
the mentor learns just as muchfrom the mentee as the mentee
learns from the mentor.

(39:04):
It's symbiotic if it's healthy.
And it becomes mutuallybeneficial.
Uh, there, there are a number ofpeople like that over the years
that I've been very blessed toknow.
Uh, both as, both in family aswell as in fraternity and
professionally.
And I will just put it out therethat if you're struggling to

(39:24):
find somebody like that, pleasereach out to me because I would
love nothing more than to have aconversation with you.
And that's what makes me soexcited about.
the showing of Join or Die inNovember featuring Robert
Putnam's years and years ofresearch that there's so much

(39:45):
value of social capital, socialnetworks.
He was called to the White Housein the 90s.
The research he did and theinsight that he basically shine
a light on that that was rightunder our noses that.
But places that have bettergovernment, a more harmonious

(40:06):
community or society, those areplaces where people are involved
in civic activities.
You name it.
Rotary, Lions, Kiwanis, ourgroup, the Freemasons, Shrine,
the list is long.
Churches, synagogues, houses ofworship.
The bottom line was that to, toget out and connect, join, get

(40:30):
involved.
We the society of that reallythat is the first step we we
live in this world of neighborsnot knowing each other Apartment
residents dwellers don't knowanybody living on their floor
anymore because we're so busydoom scrolling.
We're so busy on The devicelooking for that rush that hit

(40:52):
It's gonna be a I think a veryspecial night on November 11th
when we get to view that and tocontinue the dialogue on that
and as we wrap this up today Onemore from James clear.
He wrote that when you'reyounger, it's easy to
underestimate how fleeting thedays can be.
Each choice matters.
Each day matters.
But when you're older, it's easyto underestimate how much

(41:14):
opportunity you still have.
Don't talk yourself out of it.
It's never too late to start.
Yeah, in response.
Um, great quote.
I think it's important for eachof us to reflect from time to
time on what's truly importantto us in the various roles, uh,

(41:35):
that we, that we fill.
Uh, professionally, uh, in ourfamily roles, whether it's
husband or father, and in, inour hobbies and, and in our
networks.
Uh, and, and with those lenses,think about what's important to
us.
When opportunities presentthemselves, ask ourselves, is

(41:58):
this in alignment with thosethings that I've identified?
Or is it noise and this, this isa a little more serious, but I
think it puts it into context.
If we found ourselves on ourlast day and we're reflecting on
the opportunities we did ordidn't take.

(42:21):
Would we find ourselvesregretting it?
And if, if there was anopportunity that you think you
would regret that you didn't goafter, I would challenge you to
start making actual stepstowards achieving that.
And the reason why this wholeconversation today is so
important in my mind is a lot ofthese aspirations can be

(42:43):
overwhelming, sometimesimpossible to achieve by
ourselves.
Thank you very much.
And you would be amazed, basedon friendships, based on
networks, if you just have thehumility to reach out, how much
more effective we can be helpingeach other than trying to tackle
it alone.
And that's really what unlocksour ability to have true success

(43:08):
in this world, professionally orotherwise, is realizing that we
need other people.
We need each other.
And being super purposeful andwhat we want to get out of this
temporary thing we call life.
Well said, my friend andbrother.
And I hope that if I everappeared or sounded like I was

(43:30):
on a soapbox today, that thegoal of what I'm trying to
convey is that I want to sharethis gift with others.
What I feel in my heart.
And in my mind with friends andbrothers like you and many
others is, is truly special.
And I've made that realization,the older I get in, call me

(43:51):
naive, call me whatever youwill, but the relationship, the
being there for one another andknowing no one is alone out
there.
And especially within our ranksof our Masonic friends and
lodges and for in within thatsetting.
Knowing what's going on in eachother's lives, being curious
about one another, pursuing andsowing those seeds of

(44:13):
relationships is incrediblypowerful, but it takes all of us
to take that first step.
A hundred percent.
And we are very blessed to begiven the choice of the path and
journey we decide to take and tobe given a palette of different
perspectives, uh, with variousperspectives and backgrounds.

(44:35):
And.
If we listen to those variousperspectives, backgrounds, and
fields of expertise, I canguarantee you that what we come
up with is better than any of uscould do alone.
Brad Phelps, thank you for beingmy guest today on Minnesota
Masonic Histories and Mysteries.

(44:55):
I hope to see you soon andreally appreciate your thoughts
and perspective today.
Thank you, Reid.
I really had a great time andlook forward to chatting again
soon.