December 1, 2025 • 25 mins
Holiday food shouldn’t come with a side of shame. Dr. Lindsay Ogle sits down with registered dietitian Melissa Mitri to rethink willpower, ditch all-or-nothing rules, and build sustainable habits through self-compassion. We zoom in on what actually keeps people consistent—short recovery after slip-ups, a growth mindset, and small daily choices that align with long-term health. Melissa brings clear strategies you can use at your next gathering, from the power of the pause to choosing the two or three dishes that truly matter, and savoring them without guilt.
We break down why compassion is not “soft”—it’s a research-backed tool that helps you rebound faster and avoid the spiral that follows harsh self-talk. You’ll learn how to swap restriction for addition: add protein for steadier appetite, add fiber and water for fullness, add brief post-meal walks for better glucose control, and add mindful savoring to boost satisfaction. We also explore honest tracking without judgment, building trust with your coach, and celebrating non-scale wins like calmer meals, better energy, and fewer all-or-nothing episodes.
By the end, you’ll have a practical plan for holidays and beyond: pause before you plate, pick what you love, eat slowly, release the guilt, and return to your baseline habits the next day. Health is built on patterns, not perfection, and the 80–20 rule leaves room for joy while protecting progress. If this conversation helps you breathe easier around food, tap follow, share it with someone who needs a kinder approach, and leave a quick review to help others find the show.
_____________________
Melissa Mitri, MS, RD is a registered dietitian and owner of Melissa Mitri Nutrition, a virtual private practice specializing in sustainable weight loss for women. She helps women achieve lasting results through personalized, science-based nutrition strategies that fit their real lives—without restriction or guilt. In her practice, Melissa also supports clients using GLP-1 medications and empowers them to build healthy habits for long-term success. She believes everyone has the power to improve their health, one small habit at a time.
Connect with Melissa:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theweightloss.dietitian/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissa-mitri-ms-rd-9539789/
Website: https://melissamitri.com/about/
Article written by Melissa that was mentioned: https://www.loseit.com/articles/why-self-compassion-is-key-for-weight-loss/
👩🏼⚕️ Live in Missouri? What to be my patient?
Telehealth clinic: https://missourimetabolichealth.com
✨Freebies✨
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🤗 Socials:
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TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dr..lindsay.ogle?_t=8prC4VUQZ5i&_r=1
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Dr. Lindsay Ogle (00:01):
Welcome to the Modern Metabolic Health Podcast
with your host, Dr.
Lindsay Ogle, board certifiedfamily medicine and obesity
medicine physician.
Here we learn how we can treatand prevent modern metabolic
conditions such as diabetes,PCOS, fatty liver disease,
metabolic syndrome, sleep apnea,and more.
(00:21):
We focus on optimizinglifestyle while utilizing safe
and effective medical treatment.
Please remember that while I ama physician, I am not your
physician.
Everything discussed here isprovided as general medical
knowledge and not direct medicaladvice.
Please talk to your doctorabout what is best for you.
Welcome back to ModernMetabolic Health with Dr.
(00:46):
Lindsay Olgel.
Today I have a very specialguest, Melissa Mitri.
She is a registered dietitianand owner of Melissa Meetri
Nutrition, which is a virtualprivate practice specializing in
sustainable weight loss forwomen.
She helps women achieve lastingresults through personalized
(01:06):
science-based nutritionstrategies that fit their real
lives without restriction orguilt.
In her practice, Melissa alsosupports clients who use GLP1
medications and empowers them tobuild healthy habits for
long-term success.
She believes everyone has thepower to improve their health
one small bite at a time.
(01:27):
And I actually learned aboutMelissa through another podcast
on the Dr.
Frankovella show.
And what really stuck with mewas how she emphasized
compassion in her approach tohelping her patients.
And with the holidays comingup, I decided to reach out to
Melissa through Instagram.
(01:48):
And she was gracious enough totake the time to talk about and
a compassionate approach tonutrition and health during the
holiday season.
So thank you so much for beinghere.
Melissa Mitri, MS, RD (01:59):
Thank you so much, Dr.
Ogle.
I'm happy to be here to talkabout this important and really
timely conversation.
Dr. Lindsay Ogle (02:05):
Yeah, so let's just get started with what
self-compassion actually is, andespecially in the context of
eating and weight management.
Melissa Mitri, MS, RD (02:16):
Yeah, sure.
So when we think ofself-compassion, just for a
little bit of context, you know,in my practice, uh and in I
know a lot of my dietitiancolleagues' practices, many, uh
many of our clients, um, many ofus come in uh sort of with a
mindset of like that all ornothing sort of approach that is
kind of stems from a lot ofdifferent areas, but um, but
(02:39):
mainly from diet culture, uh,the kind of this, you know,
black or white thinking witheating, with our health habits.
Um, and that's sort of thebecomes the opposite of
self-compassion.
So really practicingself-compassion is really giving
yourself grace when you're not,you know, you feel like you're
not doing things perfectly, andreally just treating yourself
(02:59):
like you would a good friend orloved one.
Um, so in in simplicity, forsimplicity's sake, it's just
being kind to yourself.
Um, and that can apply in a lotof different settings, but
especially it applies in thecontext of uh healthy eating and
when you're trying to buildhealthier habits over time.
Um, you know, we'll talk aboutwhy it's so important to
(03:21):
practice that self-compassionand how the research really
proves that it can be reallyhelpful for long-term success in
weight management, too.
Dr. Lindsay Ogle (03:30):
Yeah, I think that self-compassion is so
important in many aspects.
And we were talking before westarted recording that I also
treat many patients with umsubstance use disorders, and
that I see that you know comeinto play a lot with those
patients, as well as my patientsthat I'm seeing for weight
management.
And so I think it's a very umhuman practice that we we
(03:56):
actually need to develop andpractice over time.
And what can be so wonderful iswhen you have a provider who
does emphasize that, then it canreally open the door to um uh
creating that practice withinyourself.
So I'm so great.
It's wonderful to hear that youhave that approach as well.
Um, because often when peopleare um following a quote unquote
(04:17):
diet or are trying to improvetheir health, there's a lot of
talk about willpower.
So could you um touch on thedifference between willpower and
self-compassion and um I guessthe where they may come into
play together?
Melissa Mitri, MS, RD (04:34):
Yeah, sure.
So willpower we think of asthis thing that's being that's
that feels difficult, that wehave these temptations around
us, um good food, especiallyaround the holiday season as
we're approaching that now, um,and feeling like we have to
restrict ourselves or that youcan't um, you know, you have to
take a lot of sort of strengthto say no uh to certain foods.
(04:56):
And so really the opposite ofthat, and when we talk about
self-compassion and kind ofswitching the mindset to focus
more on that, practicingself-compassion is really just
um being, again, being kind toyourself and kind of thinking of
it in the fact that um, youknow, these foods are enjoyment
for many of us.
These are the holidays, thesefoods sometimes are maybe foods
(05:17):
that you're only having once ina while.
Um, and uh and when I thinkabout willpower, I think about,
well, um, you know, it doesn'thave to feel that hard.
Um, it's really about just kindof looking at the big picture
of um, you know, choosing whatyou really want, choosing the
types of foods that maybe youdon't normally have and that um
(05:38):
have more of a sort of meaningto you with your traditions.
Um, and kind of, you know,something that I tell a lot of
my clients in the context of allthis is is really thinking of
it as, well, um, you know, wedon't need to necessarily um,
you know, feel the pressure tohave everything, um, but to
really make again make that foodmore meaningful and just
(05:59):
remembering that um, you know,that food also will be here all
the time.
And it's not, it's not justaround the holidays either.
Dr. Lindsay Ogle (06:08):
Yeah, that is so helpful and um kind of
touches back on that all ornothing thinking and just the I
also hear you kind of touchingon the importance of being
intentional and also making surethat you are really enjoying um
the indulgences when you dochoose to do that, because that
is that is a part of life andand we're not looking for like
(06:31):
you know, perfect, you know,100% perfect nutrition all of
the time.
That is not reasonable,recommended um by any means.
So um what sort of practicaltips do you have for anybody who
is, you know, maybe going to aholiday party coming up or
planning their family dinner?
(06:52):
Um what do you tell some ofyour clients um around this
time?
Melissa Mitri, MS, RD (06:57):
Yeah, so one thing that I often recommend
is sort of just pausing.
Um, so sort of having like ajust a grounding pause that uh
where you're taking a quickbreath before, you know, before
you start eating and making yourfood choices and sort of just
checking in to see how hungryare you, um, asking yourself
what choice would really makeyou feel satisfied most
(07:17):
satisfied and comfortable.
And um, I I kind of term thisthe power of the pause.
This is something that I tellmy clients um or kind of guide
them through in a lot ofdifferent challenging
situations, um, but especiallyaround the holidays, kind of
just taking that quick pause uhbefore reaching for something to
take a step back, um, to kindof challenge sort of the um the
(07:39):
sort of automatic negativethoughts that tell that, you
know, some of us may be saying,like, oh, I can't have this or
this is a bad choice, um, someof the things that might be
going through your mind whenmaking these choices and trying
to kind of um, you know, shutoff those thoughts and really
kind of transition them intowhat what types of foods would
(08:00):
make me feel good right now?
Um, what are my favoritechoices that are around right
here?
And kind of taking a quick scanon what's available and asking
yourself which foods would makeyou feel the most satisfied.
So that again, it's not umnecessarily needing to have
everything because a lot oftimes, um, you know, if you
choose everything just becauseit's there, it ends up not being
(08:21):
that satisfying too.
Um, and it's so it's it'sreally kind of making those more
intentional choices.
Um, and again, just remindingyourself that food is enjoyment
and that's okay.
Um, but it's just being morestrategic so that the choices
that you do make, you feelreally satisfied.
And then naturally you may beless likely to overeat in those
(08:43):
scenarios, too, where overeatingmay be easy to do.
So that's really one of thebiggest strategies that I
recommend.
But also another anotherstrategy that can be helpful is
really just to kind of takethings slow when eating around
the holidays and kind of justgiving yourself permission to
enjoy the food.
Um, and again, trying to getum, you know, kind of lighten
(09:06):
that guilt that may be comingup.
Uh, because when there is guiltaround uh eating, then um in
any situation, it can, you know,often backfire and feel like,
why did I eat this way?
And then it ends up becomingthat domino effect of the next
day you're eating that way againor you're overindulging.
Um, and it just doesn't feelgood.
(09:26):
So it's really just kind ofgiving yourself permission to
enjoy those foods, savoring themslowly without the guilt,
really fully enjoying them, notrushing through.
Um, and then, and then in thatway it's much more satisfying
and again can result in thatjust naturally eating in a way
that feels better physically andmentally.
Dr. Lindsay Ogle (09:49):
Yeah, I love that approach and definitely
support that for everybody.
And I think it's very it, thoseare all great tips that people
can take right away and um applyto this holiday season or
anytime um throughout the year.
Um, and it's just yeah, reallygreat advice.
Um I also have a follow-upquestion.
(10:12):
If somebody did not get thatadvice ahead of time, or maybe
they did but um were not able tofollow through at um an event
and maybe later on that night orthe next day are feeling guilty
or shameful, um, how would yourecommend um patients or clients
or anybody manage that the nextday?
Melissa Mitri, MS, RD (10:35):
Yeah, that's a great question.
So, what I would suggest isreally, again, kind of taking a
step back and putting it allinto perspective.
And so if there was one meal,one day, or even multiple days
that uh that you had felt or apatient had felt that they had
overeaten um or overindulged,then um, it's just reminding
yourself that you're human.
Um, we're all human and nobodyeats perfectly, and that's not
(10:58):
the expectation either, um, whenit comes to being healthy and
striving for that.
And um, and just rememberingthat the fact of the matter is
one meal or one day or evenseveral days would not make or
break your health.
Um, and really um it can bemore helpful when um when those
feelings come up to um again,sort of put it into perspective
(11:21):
and just think of it in a wayof, well, what can I do
differently next time?
And not in a place coming froma place of judgment um or guilt,
um, but thinking, well, thenext time I'm in that situation,
what can I do a little bitdifferently in order to make
sure that I feel my best andthat I'm fully present in the
moment?
Because that's really the goal,right?
Is that we want um everyonewants to enjoy the holiday
(11:45):
season in time with family andfriends and all of those things.
Um, and the food really is justpart of that.
Um, but the really moremeaningful parts are what we're
doing and the socializing andall of those special times.
Dr. Lindsay Ogle (11:59):
Yeah, absolutely.
I find curiosity to be such apowerful emotion because it
opens the door to learn from allof our experiences when um you
know, a contrast to that, ifwe're just being, you know, very
harsh on ourselves, um, it doesnot invite us to learn from
(12:20):
prior experiences.
So um, yeah, taking a curious,compassionate approach, um, then
we can, you know, learn and doum differently in the future if
we choose to.
Um, and I'm sure that you'veexperienced, you know, um some
people come probably come to youand are, you know, worried to
(12:41):
share that maybe they they didoverindulge or um like quote
unquote slipped up on theirnutrition plan.
Um, but obviously with yourcompassionate approach, you uh,
you know, want them to sharethat with you.
Um is that something that umyou're able to build up like
that trust with your patientsand clients over time that they
(13:03):
can share that with you?
Um or how do you approach that?
Melissa Mitri, MS, RD (13:06):
Yeah, so I I really try to have that
conversation from the get-gowith my clients.
And so from day one, um, evenwhen um all of my clients, I
offer a sort of a, you know, anintroduction screening call
where we have a conversation andum, you know, I can see how I
can best help them and whatthey're struggling with.
And in that conversation, um,we talk about some of the things
(13:28):
that my, you know, that I wouldhelp them with.
And one of those being that um,you know, they're going to be
tracking what they're eating insome way, shape, or form that
works best for them.
Um, and that I'll help them,you know, kind of monitor that
and provide feedback, et cetera.
Um, but with that said, Ialways let them know right from
the get-go that I'm I'm not hereto judge, I'm here to support
(13:49):
them.
Um and I encourage them to umto be open and honest in um, you
know, all the details of whatthey're eating and what might be
leading up to that, all ofthose things, because that's
really just really fully helpingthem.
Um, because um if you thinkabout it, I always bring it back
to if somebody was working witha therapist um and if they
(14:09):
weren't sharing um the thingsthat were bothering them, then
therapists can't best help them.
And so um it does add a littlebit of um vulnerability that I
know sometimes um might bedifficult for some people.
Um, but knowing um like myselfand others that have this more
compassionate approach, that umthat it's really um, you know,
(14:31):
we're I'm here to support.
And that's what I tell themright from the start, that um,
you know, the reason thatthey're tracking is so that we
can see where some of thebarriers and challenges might be
lying and um and also be ableto take that step back to see
what is leading up to thosehabits and how can we um, you
know, kind of change what'sleading up to it in order to
(14:53):
help them to feel their best.
Dr. Lindsay Ogle (14:56):
Yeah, I love that.
I love that you um kind of gothrough that with every single
person that you even willpotentially work with.
Um, so it lays the groundworkthat this is an expected part of
the experience and workingtogether.
Um, I know some people thinklike self-compassion is like
soft or woo-woo or notnecessary.
(15:17):
And you mentioned earlier aboutyou know, studies that prove
how important it is to actuallymake progress, you know, moving
forward.
Could you talk more about that?
Melissa Mitri, MS, RD (15:27):
Yeah, so I actually I started researching
this, even though this is atopic that I talk about often
with clients, but I was veryintrigued by it because I came
across a couple of years ago aninitial study, one study,
there's one of several out thereon this topic.
Um, and I wrote an articleabout it because I was so
intrigued of how there is, therereally was solid research that
(15:48):
basically shows to sum up thatum that people that are more
self-compassionate and reallymeaning kind of like stopping
the negative thoughts and beingum, you know, again, reminding
themselves that they're a human,giving themselves grace when
they feel like they hadslip-ups, um, they really tend
to have more long-term successwith weight management, with
being more consistent with theirhabits.
(16:09):
So, um, and kind of juststaying, um, staying the course.
Uh, because um, you know,really when breaking these
studies down, and this is I seethis in my own practice as well,
is um when you're um, you know,kind of practicing that
self-compassion, when you feellike you've had an you know an
off day, um, you're able to getback on track and kind of get
(16:31):
back to those healthy habitsmuch sooner.
Um, versus um, you know, thetrend often happens is if you
um, you know, beat yourself upover things, then it lead often
leads to kind of veering off forseveral days or maybe weeks and
start starting to feel like youdon't have the ability to do
the work or do the what'snecessary, and it becomes that
(16:51):
spiral effect.
And so the research reallyshows that those that are um,
you know, able to uh givethemselves grace when these
things happen are able to comemore quickly kind of get back to
those healthy habits, which inturn leads to more consistency
and leads to better results.
Dr. Lindsay Ogle (17:08):
Wonderful.
Yeah, and if you want, we candefinitely include a link to
that article because that soundslike really great information.
Um some things that come tomind because somebody is like
still hesitant on the termcompassion or self-compassion,
um, while you were talking andyou know, explaining the
definition and how this you knowportrays and studies.
(17:30):
I also think of like resiliencyand like um the fixed mindset
versus um growth mindset.
So it sounds like people whohave self-compassion are
resilient and have a growthmindset because they are able to
reflect in and grow from theirexperiences.
(17:53):
Um, so I think that's anotherway um if somebody is still
hesitant about that term, couldand apply it.
Melissa Mitri, MS, RD (17:59):
I completely agree.
I think that's a great way ofdescribing it to see that that
contrast uh because reallyhaving that fixed mindset is
kind of just thinking, well, umbecause I'm not able to do it
right now, it's two hours, soI'm never going to be able to do
it.
And so that really having thatgrowth mindset and having having
faith in yourself that it ispossible.
Um, and always, alwaysremembering that um building
(18:23):
healthy habits takes time.
And if we think about um, youknow, a lot of like a lot of my
clients who come to me that havemade try may have tried um
quote unquote dieting anddifferent sort of strategies um
several times in their life.
And so um, you know, it ittakes time to um to develop
those habits, those habits thatthey're trying to break.
(18:44):
And so it's going to take sometime to break those habits and
create new habits at the sametime.
And it's not expected to beovernight.
So um it's almost expected tohave these days where things
won't go as planned and and andthat's part of life, and that's
okay.
And that's okay, and that's youknow, that's our roles as um,
you know, clinicians anddietitians to really support um
(19:07):
support our patients and remindthem of that because that's
that's the reality of it.
Dr. Lindsay Ogle (19:11):
Couldn't agree more.
And I'm sure you also see thisin your practice is many people
don't want to celebrate untilthey reach like their ultimate
goal, um, whatever that is.
And um part of my practice isyou know, every session or
visit, pulling out, you know,wins that we can celebrate along
the way.
(19:31):
And so often people areoverlooking these like like to
me, huge milestones.
And when they reflect, they'relike, oh, actually, that is a
big improvement over, you know,X amount of time.
Um, because if we get just sofocused on, you know, that that
ultimate goal or like that biggoal, we don't see all of the
(19:52):
progress that has been sowonderful before that.
Um, and then also the mind justcontinues to push back that
goal.
So when people even reach it,they're like, oh well, now
that's great, but I have thisnext one to achieve.
Melissa Mitri, MS, RD (20:07):
Yeah, I completely agree with that.
I think going back to the wins,um, that's something also I um
talk about regularly withclients.
Like every time we meet, I havea sort of a check-in form, a
brief form that um, you know,ask them a few questions.
And one of them being, whatwere your what were your wins
since we last met?
And a lot of times that they'renot always scale wins, they're
not always weight changes.
And because that's not, that'sonly one of many wins that um a
(20:30):
patient will experience.
And so um, and then we, youknow, it's really, I agree it's
really helpful to talk aboutthat along the way because uh
just as humans, we tend to bemore negative and think more on
the uh what I'm not doing rightor not doing good enough.
And there's always good thingsthat are happening along the
way, and that can reallymotivate um you two to keep
(20:50):
going and remember that it'sit's a process, kind of enjoy
the process versus, you know,trying to aim for this big win.
Um, because when you then getto that point, if your big win
is to get to a certain weight,well, what happens then?
Do you stop doing, you know,stop practicing the healthy
habits or are you enjoying theprocess?
And that's really what's goingto, you know, ultimately get you
(21:12):
those big wins.
But uh we need to be more, moreconsistent and enjoy it along
the way.
Dr. Lindsay Ogle (21:19):
Yes, yes.
Um, so for those listening whoare trying to find a healthy
balance between enjoying theholidays and then sticking to
their health goals, um, what'sone mindset shift or a simple
strategy that you wouldrecommend?
Melissa Mitri, MS, RD (21:36):
Yeah, great question.
So I would say first andforemost, just when it comes to
the all the holiday things, um,focusing more on what to add to
your diet rather than restrictand not even just to diet, but
just to your overall day-to-daylife.
So that can mean um, you know,instead of to kind of think
about the contrast, so insteadof thinking about what you need
(21:58):
to stay away from or what youcan't have, think about what to
add.
So for the diet, think aboutmore protein at meals, for
example, more water orcalorie-free beverages during
the day that are hydrating, thatare that taste good, um, a
short walk after dinner, um, oreven just the act of enjoying
(22:19):
food more, slowing down to enjoyyour food.
So kind of thinking at it morein a positive way versus um, you
know, I'm going to this bigevent and I have to have all
this willpower.
Um, you know, really the thefocus on addition rather than
subtraction with any day of theyear is really a much more
enjoyable way to think about it.
(22:41):
And and it really works becauseum if you have more protein at
meals or you have more fiber atmeals, um, more fruits and
vegetables that you actuallylike and enjoy, then you will
feel more full and you probablywill eat less naturally or in a
way that just makes you feelphysically great.
Um, so and it's much moresustainable way, um, especially
(23:05):
throughout the holiday season,then you'll come out of the
holiday season feeling uh betterand um and not having that
feeling that you have to youknow start over again January
1st.
Dr. Lindsay Ogle (23:17):
So yes, which is just another day, um,
reminding everybody about thattoo.
Exactly.
Yes.
Um thank you for that greatadvice and all of the knowledge
that you shared.
Is there anything else that youwould like to say today?
Melissa Mitri, MS, RD (23:34):
Yeah, I would just close with just a
reminder that, you know, beingsuccessful in um your healthy
habits, it's not about beingperfect.
Um, it's really just aboutshowing up for yourself more
most of the time, kind of likethat 80-20 rule.
Um and it's more about thepatterns of what you're doing on
most days that matter the mostand just be flexible with
(23:56):
yourself because life happens,um, you know, remembering and
trusting that if you feel likeyou veered off one day, you
absolutely have the ability toget right back on track.
Dr. Lindsay Ogle (24:06):
Wonderful.
And if anybody wants to findyou and work with you or follow
you to learn more, where shouldthey go?
Melissa Mitri, MS, RD (24:15):
Yeah, so they can follow me on Instagram.
I'm at theweightloss.dietician.
Um, I also have my websitewhere you can reach out and
schedule a free call with me,like I mentioned, and that's
Melissamatri.com.
Um, and for any clinicians thatare listening, I'm very active
on LinkedIn as well.
Dr. Lindsay Ogle (24:31):
So wonderful.
Well, thank you so much fortaking the time.
I will include those linksbelow.
And I hope you have a wonderfulholiday season.
Melissa Mitri, MS, RD (24:39):
You too.
Thank you so much.
Dr. Lindsay Ogle (24:45):
Thank you for listening and learning how you
can improve your metabolichealth in this modern world.
If you found this informationhelpful, please share with a
friend, family member, orcolleague.
We need to do all we can tocombat the dangerous
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Please subscribe and write areview.
This will help others find thepodcast so they may also improve
(25:07):
their metabolic health.
I look forward to ourconversation next week.
Welcome to the Modern Metabolic Health Podcast
with your host, Dr.
Lindsay Ogle, board certifiedfamily medicine and obesity
medicine physician.
Here we learn how we can treatand prevent modern metabolic
conditions such as diabetes,PCOS, fatty liver disease,
metabolic syndrome, sleep apnea,and more.
(00:21):
We focus on optimizinglifestyle while utilizing safe
and effective medical treatment.
Please remember that while I ama physician, I am not your
physician.
Everything discussed here isprovided as general medical
knowledge and not direct medicaladvice.
Please talk to your doctorabout what is best for you.
Welcome back to ModernMetabolic Health with Dr.
(00:46):
Lindsay Olgel.
Today I have a very specialguest, Melissa Mitri.
She is a registered dietitianand owner of Melissa Meetri
Nutrition, which is a virtualprivate practice specializing in
sustainable weight loss forwomen.
She helps women achieve lastingresults through personalized
(01:06):
science-based nutritionstrategies that fit their real
lives without restriction orguilt.
In her practice, Melissa alsosupports clients who use GLP1
medications and empowers them tobuild healthy habits for
long-term success.
She believes everyone has thepower to improve their health
one small bite at a time.
(01:27):
And I actually learned aboutMelissa through another podcast
on the Dr.
Frankovella show.
And what really stuck with mewas how she emphasized
compassion in her approach tohelping her patients.
And with the holidays comingup, I decided to reach out to
Melissa through Instagram.
(01:48):
And she was gracious enough totake the time to talk about and
a compassionate approach tonutrition and health during the
holiday season.
So thank you so much for beinghere.
Melissa Mitri, MS, RD (01:59):
Thank you so much, Dr.
Ogle.
I'm happy to be here to talkabout this important and really
timely conversation.
Dr. Lindsay Ogle (02:05):
Yeah, so let's just get started with what
self-compassion actually is, andespecially in the context of
eating and weight management.
Melissa Mitri, MS, RD (02:16):
Yeah, sure.
So when we think ofself-compassion, just for a
little bit of context, you know,in my practice, uh and in I
know a lot of my dietitiancolleagues' practices, many, uh
many of our clients, um, many ofus come in uh sort of with a
mindset of like that all ornothing sort of approach that is
kind of stems from a lot ofdifferent areas, but um, but
(02:39):
mainly from diet culture, uh,the kind of this, you know,
black or white thinking witheating, with our health habits.
Um, and that's sort of thebecomes the opposite of
self-compassion.
So really practicingself-compassion is really giving
yourself grace when you're not,you know, you feel like you're
not doing things perfectly, andreally just treating yourself
(02:59):
like you would a good friend orloved one.
Um, so in in simplicity, forsimplicity's sake, it's just
being kind to yourself.
Um, and that can apply in a lotof different settings, but
especially it applies in thecontext of uh healthy eating and
when you're trying to buildhealthier habits over time.
Um, you know, we'll talk aboutwhy it's so important to
(03:21):
practice that self-compassionand how the research really
proves that it can be reallyhelpful for long-term success in
weight management, too.
Dr. Lindsay Ogle (03:30):
Yeah, I think that self-compassion is so
important in many aspects.
And we were talking before westarted recording that I also
treat many patients with umsubstance use disorders, and
that I see that you know comeinto play a lot with those
patients, as well as my patientsthat I'm seeing for weight
management.
And so I think it's a very umhuman practice that we we
(03:56):
actually need to develop andpractice over time.
And what can be so wonderful iswhen you have a provider who
does emphasize that, then it canreally open the door to um uh
creating that practice withinyourself.
So I'm so great.
It's wonderful to hear that youhave that approach as well.
Um, because often when peopleare um following a quote unquote
(04:17):
diet or are trying to improvetheir health, there's a lot of
talk about willpower.
So could you um touch on thedifference between willpower and
self-compassion and um I guessthe where they may come into
play together?
Melissa Mitri, MS, RD (04:34):
Yeah, sure.
So willpower we think of asthis thing that's being that's
that feels difficult, that wehave these temptations around
us, um good food, especiallyaround the holiday season as
we're approaching that now, um,and feeling like we have to
restrict ourselves or that youcan't um, you know, you have to
take a lot of sort of strengthto say no uh to certain foods.
(04:56):
And so really the opposite ofthat, and when we talk about
self-compassion and kind ofswitching the mindset to focus
more on that, practicingself-compassion is really just
um being, again, being kind toyourself and kind of thinking of
it in the fact that um, youknow, these foods are enjoyment
for many of us.
These are the holidays, thesefoods sometimes are maybe foods
(05:17):
that you're only having once ina while.
Um, and uh and when I thinkabout willpower, I think about,
well, um, you know, it doesn'thave to feel that hard.
Um, it's really about just kindof looking at the big picture
of um, you know, choosing whatyou really want, choosing the
types of foods that maybe youdon't normally have and that um
(05:38):
have more of a sort of meaningto you with your traditions.
Um, and kind of, you know,something that I tell a lot of
my clients in the context of allthis is is really thinking of
it as, well, um, you know, wedon't need to necessarily um,
you know, feel the pressure tohave everything, um, but to
really make again make that foodmore meaningful and just
(05:59):
remembering that um, you know,that food also will be here all
the time.
And it's not, it's not justaround the holidays either.
Dr. Lindsay Ogle (06:08):
Yeah, that is so helpful and um kind of
touches back on that all ornothing thinking and just the I
also hear you kind of touchingon the importance of being
intentional and also making surethat you are really enjoying um
the indulgences when you dochoose to do that, because that
is that is a part of life andand we're not looking for like
(06:31):
you know, perfect, you know,100% perfect nutrition all of
the time.
That is not reasonable,recommended um by any means.
So um what sort of practicaltips do you have for anybody who
is, you know, maybe going to aholiday party coming up or
planning their family dinner?
(06:52):
Um what do you tell some ofyour clients um around this
time?
Melissa Mitri, MS, RD (06:57):
Yeah, so one thing that I often recommend
is sort of just pausing.
Um, so sort of having like ajust a grounding pause that uh
where you're taking a quickbreath before, you know, before
you start eating and making yourfood choices and sort of just
checking in to see how hungryare you, um, asking yourself
what choice would really makeyou feel satisfied most
(07:17):
satisfied and comfortable.
And um, I I kind of term thisthe power of the pause.
This is something that I tellmy clients um or kind of guide
them through in a lot ofdifferent challenging
situations, um, but especiallyaround the holidays, kind of
just taking that quick pause uhbefore reaching for something to
take a step back, um, to kindof challenge sort of the um the
(07:39):
sort of automatic negativethoughts that tell that, you
know, some of us may be saying,like, oh, I can't have this or
this is a bad choice, um, someof the things that might be
going through your mind whenmaking these choices and trying
to kind of um, you know, shutoff those thoughts and really
kind of transition them intowhat what types of foods would
(08:00):
make me feel good right now?
Um, what are my favoritechoices that are around right
here?
And kind of taking a quick scanon what's available and asking
yourself which foods would makeyou feel the most satisfied.
So that again, it's not umnecessarily needing to have
everything because a lot oftimes, um, you know, if you
choose everything just becauseit's there, it ends up not being
(08:21):
that satisfying too.
Um, and it's so it's it'sreally kind of making those more
intentional choices.
Um, and again, just remindingyourself that food is enjoyment
and that's okay.
Um, but it's just being morestrategic so that the choices
that you do make, you feelreally satisfied.
And then naturally you may beless likely to overeat in those
(08:43):
scenarios, too, where overeatingmay be easy to do.
So that's really one of thebiggest strategies that I
recommend.
But also another anotherstrategy that can be helpful is
really just to kind of takethings slow when eating around
the holidays and kind of justgiving yourself permission to
enjoy the food.
Um, and again, trying to getum, you know, kind of lighten
(09:06):
that guilt that may be comingup.
Uh, because when there is guiltaround uh eating, then um in
any situation, it can, you know,often backfire and feel like,
why did I eat this way?
And then it ends up becomingthat domino effect of the next
day you're eating that way againor you're overindulging.
Um, and it just doesn't feelgood.
(09:26):
So it's really just kind ofgiving yourself permission to
enjoy those foods, savoring themslowly without the guilt,
really fully enjoying them, notrushing through.
Um, and then, and then in thatway it's much more satisfying
and again can result in thatjust naturally eating in a way
that feels better physically andmentally.
Dr. Lindsay Ogle (09:49):
Yeah, I love that approach and definitely
support that for everybody.
And I think it's very it, thoseare all great tips that people
can take right away and um applyto this holiday season or
anytime um throughout the year.
Um, and it's just yeah, reallygreat advice.
Um I also have a follow-upquestion.
(10:12):
If somebody did not get thatadvice ahead of time, or maybe
they did but um were not able tofollow through at um an event
and maybe later on that night orthe next day are feeling guilty
or shameful, um, how would yourecommend um patients or clients
or anybody manage that the nextday?
Melissa Mitri, MS, RD (10:35):
Yeah, that's a great question.
So, what I would suggest isreally, again, kind of taking a
step back and putting it allinto perspective.
And so if there was one meal,one day, or even multiple days
that uh that you had felt or apatient had felt that they had
overeaten um or overindulged,then um, it's just reminding
yourself that you're human.
Um, we're all human and nobodyeats perfectly, and that's not
(10:58):
the expectation either, um, whenit comes to being healthy and
striving for that.
And um, and just rememberingthat the fact of the matter is
one meal or one day or evenseveral days would not make or
break your health.
Um, and really um it can bemore helpful when um when those
feelings come up to um again,sort of put it into perspective
(11:21):
and just think of it in a wayof, well, what can I do
differently next time?
And not in a place coming froma place of judgment um or guilt,
um, but thinking, well, thenext time I'm in that situation,
what can I do a little bitdifferently in order to make
sure that I feel my best andthat I'm fully present in the
moment?
Because that's really the goal,right?
Is that we want um everyonewants to enjoy the holiday
(11:45):
season in time with family andfriends and all of those things.
Um, and the food really is justpart of that.
Um, but the really moremeaningful parts are what we're
doing and the socializing andall of those special times.
Dr. Lindsay Ogle (11:59):
Yeah, absolutely.
I find curiosity to be such apowerful emotion because it
opens the door to learn from allof our experiences when um you
know, a contrast to that, ifwe're just being, you know, very
harsh on ourselves, um, it doesnot invite us to learn from
(12:20):
prior experiences.
So um, yeah, taking a curious,compassionate approach, um, then
we can, you know, learn and doum differently in the future if
we choose to.
Um, and I'm sure that you'veexperienced, you know, um some
people come probably come to youand are, you know, worried to
(12:41):
share that maybe they they didoverindulge or um like quote
unquote slipped up on theirnutrition plan.
Um, but obviously with yourcompassionate approach, you uh,
you know, want them to sharethat with you.
Um is that something that umyou're able to build up like
that trust with your patientsand clients over time that they
(13:03):
can share that with you?
Um or how do you approach that?
Melissa Mitri, MS, RD (13:06):
Yeah, so I I really try to have that
conversation from the get-gowith my clients.
And so from day one, um, evenwhen um all of my clients, I
offer a sort of a, you know, anintroduction screening call
where we have a conversation andum, you know, I can see how I
can best help them and whatthey're struggling with.
And in that conversation, um,we talk about some of the things
(13:28):
that my, you know, that I wouldhelp them with.
And one of those being that um,you know, they're going to be
tracking what they're eating insome way, shape, or form that
works best for them.
Um, and that I'll help them,you know, kind of monitor that
and provide feedback, et cetera.
Um, but with that said, Ialways let them know right from
the get-go that I'm I'm not hereto judge, I'm here to support
(13:49):
them.
Um and I encourage them to umto be open and honest in um, you
know, all the details of whatthey're eating and what might be
leading up to that, all ofthose things, because that's
really just really fully helpingthem.
Um, because um if you thinkabout it, I always bring it back
to if somebody was working witha therapist um and if they
(14:09):
weren't sharing um the thingsthat were bothering them, then
therapists can't best help them.
And so um it does add a littlebit of um vulnerability that I
know sometimes um might bedifficult for some people.
Um, but knowing um like myselfand others that have this more
compassionate approach, that umthat it's really um, you know,
(14:31):
we're I'm here to support.
And that's what I tell themright from the start, that um,
you know, the reason thatthey're tracking is so that we
can see where some of thebarriers and challenges might be
lying and um and also be ableto take that step back to see
what is leading up to thosehabits and how can we um, you
know, kind of change what'sleading up to it in order to
(14:53):
help them to feel their best.
Dr. Lindsay Ogle (14:56):
Yeah, I love that.
I love that you um kind of gothrough that with every single
person that you even willpotentially work with.
Um, so it lays the groundworkthat this is an expected part of
the experience and workingtogether.
Um, I know some people thinklike self-compassion is like
soft or woo-woo or notnecessary.
(15:17):
And you mentioned earlier aboutyou know, studies that prove
how important it is to actuallymake progress, you know, moving
forward.
Could you talk more about that?
Melissa Mitri, MS, RD (15:27):
Yeah, so I actually I started researching
this, even though this is atopic that I talk about often
with clients, but I was veryintrigued by it because I came
across a couple of years ago aninitial study, one study,
there's one of several out thereon this topic.
Um, and I wrote an articleabout it because I was so
intrigued of how there is, therereally was solid research that
(15:48):
basically shows to sum up thatum that people that are more
self-compassionate and reallymeaning kind of like stopping
the negative thoughts and beingum, you know, again, reminding
themselves that they're a human,giving themselves grace when
they feel like they hadslip-ups, um, they really tend
to have more long-term successwith weight management, with
being more consistent with theirhabits.
(16:09):
So, um, and kind of juststaying, um, staying the course.
Uh, because um, you know,really when breaking these
studies down, and this is I seethis in my own practice as well,
is um when you're um, you know,kind of practicing that
self-compassion, when you feellike you've had an you know an
off day, um, you're able to getback on track and kind of get
(16:31):
back to those healthy habitsmuch sooner.
Um, versus um, you know, thetrend often happens is if you
um, you know, beat yourself upover things, then it lead often
leads to kind of veering off forseveral days or maybe weeks and
start starting to feel like youdon't have the ability to do
the work or do the what'snecessary, and it becomes that
(16:51):
spiral effect.
And so the research reallyshows that those that are um,
you know, able to uh givethemselves grace when these
things happen are able to comemore quickly kind of get back to
those healthy habits, which inturn leads to more consistency
and leads to better results.
Dr. Lindsay Ogle (17:08):
Wonderful.
Yeah, and if you want, we candefinitely include a link to
that article because that soundslike really great information.
Um some things that come tomind because somebody is like
still hesitant on the termcompassion or self-compassion,
um, while you were talking andyou know, explaining the
definition and how this you knowportrays and studies.
(17:30):
I also think of like resiliencyand like um the fixed mindset
versus um growth mindset.
So it sounds like people whohave self-compassion are
resilient and have a growthmindset because they are able to
reflect in and grow from theirexperiences.
(17:53):
Um, so I think that's anotherway um if somebody is still
hesitant about that term, couldand apply it.
Melissa Mitri, MS, RD (17:59):
I completely agree.
I think that's a great way ofdescribing it to see that that
contrast uh because reallyhaving that fixed mindset is
kind of just thinking, well, umbecause I'm not able to do it
right now, it's two hours, soI'm never going to be able to do
it.
And so that really having thatgrowth mindset and having having
faith in yourself that it ispossible.
Um, and always, alwaysremembering that um building
(18:23):
healthy habits takes time.
And if we think about um, youknow, a lot of like a lot of my
clients who come to me that havemade try may have tried um
quote unquote dieting anddifferent sort of strategies um
several times in their life.
And so um, you know, it ittakes time to um to develop
those habits, those habits thatthey're trying to break.
(18:44):
And so it's going to take sometime to break those habits and
create new habits at the sametime.
And it's not expected to beovernight.
So um it's almost expected tohave these days where things
won't go as planned and and andthat's part of life, and that's
okay.
And that's okay, and that's youknow, that's our roles as um,
you know, clinicians anddietitians to really support um
(19:07):
support our patients and remindthem of that because that's
that's the reality of it.
Dr. Lindsay Ogle (19:11):
Couldn't agree more.
And I'm sure you also see thisin your practice is many people
don't want to celebrate untilthey reach like their ultimate
goal, um, whatever that is.
And um part of my practice isyou know, every session or
visit, pulling out, you know,wins that we can celebrate along
the way.
(19:31):
And so often people areoverlooking these like like to
me, huge milestones.
And when they reflect, they'relike, oh, actually, that is a
big improvement over, you know,X amount of time.
Um, because if we get just sofocused on, you know, that that
ultimate goal or like that biggoal, we don't see all of the
(19:52):
progress that has been sowonderful before that.
Um, and then also the mind justcontinues to push back that
goal.
So when people even reach it,they're like, oh well, now
that's great, but I have thisnext one to achieve.
Melissa Mitri, MS, RD (20:07):
Yeah, I completely agree with that.
I think going back to the wins,um, that's something also I um
talk about regularly withclients.
Like every time we meet, I havea sort of a check-in form, a
brief form that um, you know,ask them a few questions.
And one of them being, whatwere your what were your wins
since we last met?
And a lot of times that they'renot always scale wins, they're
not always weight changes.
And because that's not, that'sonly one of many wins that um a
(20:30):
patient will experience.
And so um, and then we, youknow, it's really, I agree it's
really helpful to talk aboutthat along the way because uh
just as humans, we tend to bemore negative and think more on
the uh what I'm not doing rightor not doing good enough.
And there's always good thingsthat are happening along the
way, and that can reallymotivate um you two to keep
(20:50):
going and remember that it'sit's a process, kind of enjoy
the process versus, you know,trying to aim for this big win.
Um, because when you then getto that point, if your big win
is to get to a certain weight,well, what happens then?
Do you stop doing, you know,stop practicing the healthy
habits or are you enjoying theprocess?
And that's really what's goingto, you know, ultimately get you
(21:12):
those big wins.
But uh we need to be more, moreconsistent and enjoy it along
the way.
Dr. Lindsay Ogle (21:19):
Yes, yes.
Um, so for those listening whoare trying to find a healthy
balance between enjoying theholidays and then sticking to
their health goals, um, what'sone mindset shift or a simple
strategy that you wouldrecommend?
Melissa Mitri, MS, RD (21:36):
Yeah, great question.
So I would say first andforemost, just when it comes to
the all the holiday things, um,focusing more on what to add to
your diet rather than restrictand not even just to diet, but
just to your overall day-to-daylife.
So that can mean um, you know,instead of to kind of think
about the contrast, so insteadof thinking about what you need
(21:58):
to stay away from or what youcan't have, think about what to
add.
So for the diet, think aboutmore protein at meals, for
example, more water orcalorie-free beverages during
the day that are hydrating, thatare that taste good, um, a
short walk after dinner, um, oreven just the act of enjoying
(22:19):
food more, slowing down to enjoyyour food.
So kind of thinking at it morein a positive way versus um, you
know, I'm going to this bigevent and I have to have all
this willpower.
Um, you know, really the thefocus on addition rather than
subtraction with any day of theyear is really a much more
enjoyable way to think about it.
(22:41):
And and it really works becauseum if you have more protein at
meals or you have more fiber atmeals, um, more fruits and
vegetables that you actuallylike and enjoy, then you will
feel more full and you probablywill eat less naturally or in a
way that just makes you feelphysically great.
Um, so and it's much moresustainable way, um, especially
(23:05):
throughout the holiday season,then you'll come out of the
holiday season feeling uh betterand um and not having that
feeling that you have to youknow start over again January
1st.
Dr. Lindsay Ogle (23:17):
So yes, which is just another day, um,
reminding everybody about thattoo.
Exactly.
Yes.
Um thank you for that greatadvice and all of the knowledge
that you shared.
Is there anything else that youwould like to say today?
Melissa Mitri, MS, RD (23:34):
Yeah, I would just close with just a
reminder that, you know, beingsuccessful in um your healthy
habits, it's not about beingperfect.
Um, it's really just aboutshowing up for yourself more
most of the time, kind of likethat 80-20 rule.
Um and it's more about thepatterns of what you're doing on
most days that matter the mostand just be flexible with
(23:56):
yourself because life happens,um, you know, remembering and
trusting that if you feel likeyou veered off one day, you
absolutely have the ability toget right back on track.
Dr. Lindsay Ogle (24:06):
Wonderful.
And if anybody wants to findyou and work with you or follow
you to learn more, where shouldthey go?
Melissa Mitri, MS, RD (24:15):
Yeah, so they can follow me on Instagram.
I'm at theweightloss.dietician.
Um, I also have my websitewhere you can reach out and
schedule a free call with me,like I mentioned, and that's
Melissamatri.com.
Um, and for any clinicians thatare listening, I'm very active
on LinkedIn as well.
Dr. Lindsay Ogle (24:31):
So wonderful.
Well, thank you so much fortaking the time.
I will include those linksbelow.
And I hope you have a wonderfulholiday season.
Melissa Mitri, MS, RD (24:39):
You too.
Thank you so much.
Dr. Lindsay Ogle (24:45):
Thank you for listening and learning how you
can improve your metabolichealth in this modern world.
If you found this informationhelpful, please share with a
friend, family member, orcolleague.
We need to do all we can tocombat the dangerous
misinformation that is outthere.
Please subscribe and write areview.
This will help others find thepodcast so they may also improve
(25:07):
their metabolic health.
I look forward to ourconversation next week.
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