September 6, 2024 • 29 mins
In this episode of the Mom Owned and Operated podcast, Rita Suzanne and Nellie Harden discuss raising a family, running a business and remembering yourself.
Nellie is a wife, mother to 4 teenage daughters, and an author and speaker in the space of Family Life & Leadership. Her work has a twofold focus. First, she is helping parents love & lead their daughters in a way that teaches them to love & lead themselves by building a strong foundation of worth, esteem & confidence in them all before they leave home!
Second, she works toward restoring, or building for the very first time, this same foundation in adult women who didn’t have this built in their formative childhood or were robbed of it from trauma in their lives. Her background is in biology and psychology, from humpbacks to humans, and she has invested decades of her life into personal, family, Christian faith, and leadership development.
Most of all, she believes the best way to change the world is through one living room at a time!
You can connect with Nellie on her website, on Instagram, Facebook Group, and YouTube.
Send a text message! Email, if you want a reply though. ;)
P.S. You can find more interviews at momownedandoperated.com and learn about working with Rita at ritasuzanne.com/apply/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Rita Suzanne (00:01):
Hi, this is Mom Owned and Operated.
I'm Rita, suzanne, and today Ihave my guest, nellie, with me.
Nellie, I'm so excited to chatwith you.
Please tell everyone all aboutyou, your business and your
family.
Nellie Harden (00:13):
Goodness, let's take the next 24 hours.
No, I'm just kidding.
So yeah, my name is NellieHarden.
Hello everyone, thank you forhaving me on the show.
And yeah, so I live in CoastalNorth Carolina with my family of
six, and so it's my husband andI and we have four daughters
who are all teenagers right now.
(00:34):
So they are 14, 16, 16 and 19.
And so to say we're busy is thebiggest understatement ever.
Always big things happening.
So as of this year, we haveeveryone in high school and
college.
So big things always happening.
But I started way back in, youknow, 20 plus years ago.
(00:58):
My background is in biology andpsychology and, believe it or
not, I actually was going intomarine mammology and I did and
that was my how I wanted to usebiology and psychology and
understanding behavior.
And I did that for a while andit was a beautiful experience
and I loved it and got to go onthe high seas in Australia and
(01:20):
study humpbacks and do all thethings.
But I met my now husband when Iwas 18 and he is a nine to five
computer guy.
Okay, so my high seasadventures and his nine to five
computer guy, especially when we, after we got married, we
wanted to start having kids didnot really mesh, and so I
started doing some veterinarywork and things like that.
(01:43):
And when I got pregnant withtwins anyone listening with
twins understands I was like, ok, I'm retiring from animal work,
I have enough animals that Ihave at home that I need to take
care of and so I came home.
But within a year after cominghome and now I have, you know,
three under three my husband gotreally sick and he has a heart
(02:05):
condition we didn't know about,and he for about two years he
was in and out of hospitals, onand off of medications, and in
that time I really had to divein and do a lot of work inside
myself.
We had to prepare for whatcould happen, and so I had to
have really strong communication, even with my two to four year
(02:29):
old during that time, andobviously with my husband as
well, and we had to make somereally big changes within our
family dynamics and our positivedisciplines that we were having
.
So that was really the start ofmy transition from, you know,
humpbacks to humans, if you will.
And so I took that time he hadheart surgery we almost lost one
(02:54):
of our daughters a few weeksafter that and from a drowning
accident, and so we went througha lot of things around 2008 to
2010.
And after that, around 2012, Ireally started using and my
family and I were.
(03:14):
We started going to church andwe started to know the Lord
around 2010.
But I was just really calledaround 2012.
Okay, you've done this for yourfamily for now, the last four
years.
It's time to go out and sharewith others and I was like, oh,
what, what do you mean?
And but that's really how itstarted and getting out there
(03:36):
and it's really been all aboutgrowth and positive disciplines,
because I was a young womanthat left home at 17 to go off
to college and you know, I movedseven hours away from home and
I didn't see my family formonths after that and I wasn't a
person that really had aninternal structure of worth,
(03:58):
esteem or confidence when I wentoff into this great adventure.
And as a woman especially youngmen as well, but especially as a
woman when you do that, you endup chasing your worth anywhere
you can find it, and that iswhat happened to me, going down
every shiny corridor that saidcome here and I will give you
value, come here and I will giveyou worth.
(04:19):
It was an outside in, not aninside out, and that really led
to some very hurtful things thathappened way back when I was 17
, 18 years old that have takendecades to heal from, and in the
meantime, now I have fourdaughters within that time to
raise up.
So, as an adult going through myhusband's illness infertility
(04:40):
that we also went through havingfour kids in four years you
know that we did.
I was also on a very personal,very vulnerable healing journey
of my own in order to facethings that happened but also
rebuild my foundation of worth,esteem and confidence.
(05:00):
So when I was then turningaround and looking at my
daughters, I was like I need tobuild this in them during their
formidable years, during whentheir, when their brain function
is still connecting right Oursstill is too.
Absolutely.
We have some neuroplasticity,but nothing like we have when
we're in adolescence, and sothat's really where it started.
(05:23):
And a number of years afterthat, I started developing
strategies for myself, as awoman that had to build or
rebuild things, and then also aspeople that are raising up the
next generation, be it a parentor a youth leader, a teacher, a
coach or what have you.
How can we set up an actualblueprint to help these young
(05:46):
women grow with this foundation,but also make it to individuate
to all their own personal needs, desires, personalities,
developments, et cetera.
So that's what I've been doingever since and what I do today.
Rita Suzanne (06:02):
So do you work with people one to one or do you
have group programs Like howexactly is everything structured
?
Nellie Harden (06:10):
So I do both.
I have a group program that isself-guided, called Take the
Lead.
It's all about loving andleading her to a place that she
loves and leads herself beforeshe leaves home, and so that one
you can get on and you can leadyourself through.
And what's great about that,it's lifetime access.
And so you know, anyone that'sraised a child, and especially a
(06:31):
young woman, knows you know howthey are at eight is different
than nine, different than 13,different.
So it's a program you canalways go back and revisit.
And I'll be honest, you know Ideveloped this program and then
I was going through a rough timemyself.
I went through my own programand I was like, okay, now I know
you know how to do it, becausewhen you put this together, then
(06:54):
going through it as as a personin need of it, it's a much
different process.
So I can attest to it from thewriter's perspective and also
from the person that's beenthrough it.
But anyway, so that isself-guided and you can always
go back to that as a resource.
I highly recommend if you havea daughter anywhere between six
and, honestly, around 23, 25,that is where you want to be and
(07:16):
have access to that.
And then I also have one-on-onethat I do on a more limited
basis for obvious reasons oftime and things, but I do have a
limited amount of space forone-on-one clients to have as
well, and I do that pretty muchworldwide UK, canada, us, et
cetera, and so Australia andthings like that.
(07:38):
So, yeah, one-on-one and groupwork to fit whatever need that
you're having at the time.
And a lot of times what thatlooks like is someone goes
through the group program andthey're they're doing this and
they're guiding, but they runinto a snag, a personal snag, a
very specific snag, and they'relike can we have some one-on-one
time?
And if you're in the programyou get discounted on that
(08:01):
one-on-one time versus if you'renot in that program as well.
Rita Suzanne (08:05):
So has the group program or one-on-one which one
has been, or any other thing hasbeen the game changer for you
as far as profitability in yourbusiness?
What has been the best?
Nellie Harden (08:19):
for you I would say the group program, just
because it's unlimited.
Right, it's out there, it'sunlimited and you can do that
and the one-on-ones have alsobeen very profitable and giving
and value giving, but it's justmore limited because I can only
do that on a couple of days aweek because I'm also, you know,
(08:39):
an author, I'm writing a book,you know, I'm doing all these
other things and I speak a lot,and so that one is just more
time limited.
Rita Suzanne (08:48):
And so that one is just more time limited.
Yeah, so, okay, so that hasbeen your biggest source has
that been your biggest source ofrevenue to date.
Nellie Harden (08:57):
The group program yes, I would also say I
co-authored a book and then Ialso have a scripture journal
out as well, and so those arealso great streams of value and
income coming in.
But yeah, I would definitelysay it is the group program.
Rita Suzanne (09:16):
I love that.
So what's been the mostvaluable financial lesson that
you could share with other momowned businesses?
Nellie Harden (09:26):
You know, I would say, to just go with your gut,
because and I say that becauseI've been through business
coaching programs, several ofthem you know three big ones you
invest all this money into as amom, you know, entrepreneur, a
woman entrepreneur and Iinvested, you know, thousands
(09:46):
into them.
And then they're like, oh well,you should sell your program at
$10,000.
And I invested, you know,thousands into them.
And then they're like, oh well,you should sell your program at
$10,000.
And I'm like, really, you know,not that, I don't think it has,
that doesn't have that value,because I mean, honestly, I
think it's priceless.
I wish people could go homefrom the hospital with their
daughters with this program inhand.
It is so valuable.
(10:08):
With their daughters with thisprogram in hand, it is so
valuable.
But I also want to make impactout there and I did a wonderful
survey of I don't even I thinkit was like 400 people worldwide
.
I took months to do it and thiswas about two years ago.
And you know what are thechallenges you're running into,
(10:30):
what are some resources that youwish were out there, what are
the biggest hurdles that you'refacing as a parent or things
that you're scared of?
Right, all these things.
And I knew, and you know, oneof the questions too was what
would you be able to or willingto pay for something like this?
And there's no way.
I think maybe two of that 400people were like I can surely
(10:53):
slap down $10,000, right.
And it just didn't feel rightin my gut to have this beautiful
value, you know, packed programout there that could only go to
a couple of people.
Rita Suzanne (11:08):
Yeah, I think that oftentimes, unfortunately, some
of these business coaches getinto that that mindset of you
know, if it's not superexpensive, then it's not.
You're not really valuingyourself or your program or
anything like that, and they'renot taking into consideration
who your target audience is, andyour target audience of parents
(11:32):
don't really have $10,000 toslap down on a course, Right?
I don't think that most of themare willing to do that,
especially as a parent myself.
Nellie Harden (11:42):
Yeah, exactly, exactly.
And so, yeah, just just followyour, follow your gut and say
what would you know if I were inthe shoes of my target audience
which, by the way, we shouldall be in the shoes of our
target audience, right, or havebeen at some point so we can
truly relate and understand whatthey need?
But what would I could, highcould I have done in order to
(12:07):
invest in something that wouldhelp me in this way?
And it honestly took me years,because I had so many people
barking in my ears to jack upthe prices, keep going up, keep
going up, keep going up.
My course is 50 videos and allof these resources and things,
because it's lifelong andthey're like oh you, there's no
(12:29):
way you can have that for lessthan $10,000.
I was like, but then I can'thelp her and her and her and her
, so yeah.
Rita Suzanne (12:37):
Yeah, no, I agree.
I think that you know.
I think that knowing yourtarget audience is super
important, but also knowingtheir pain points and knowing
their buyer behaviors.
But also knowing their painpoints and knowing their buyer
behaviors Buyer behaviors arereally good insights to take a
look into and knowing how yourtarget audience buys is really
(12:58):
critical.
And knowing like, do theyresearch a lot before they buy,
Do they compare, Do they readreviews All of these things are
super critical.
So let's move on.
We talked a little bit before,we pressed record about
marketing and we talked aboutsocial media.
But what is one marketingtactic or strategy that you're
(13:23):
doing right now that's kind ofworking for your business,
Because I know that we're havingsome issues over here with
Facebook and Instagram.
Nellie Harden (13:32):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
So one of the biggest thingsthat I I did was just come on
and be honest.
There is again.
So many people will try to tellyou oh, this is the algorithm,
do this and you have to post atthis time and you need to.
You know, go out and search.
They just give you this wholelaundry list of things that need
(13:54):
to do, but it honestly didn'tfit into my life and especially
the work that I'm doing and I ambringing life and breathing
life into these families andthese women in order to build
worth, esteem and confidence.
I was finding my own depletingby being on there so much and
(14:15):
following all thesequote-unquote rules which,
honestly, were antiquated.
The second I got them Because,as I was telling you, I was at a
conference earlier and theysaid that the algorithm for meta
changes every five seconds andI was like, well, for goodness
sakes, by the time I get youknow, someone learns this and
comes up with a curriculum forit and teaches me.
(14:35):
I'm a good six to 12 months outof you know this algorithm and
so it's very antiquated, and soI just had to do what was right
for me and but also beingprofessional about it and
understand.
Give yourself parameters andboundaries.
You know, have social media.
(14:55):
Be a part of your business inbusiness hours.
Don't leak it out to everywhereyou go, because you'll feel
like you're always on there,right?
And so one of the best things Iwas able to do is I give myself
one hour each day, mondaythrough Friday, not on the
weekends.
It doesn't mean I don't go onthere on the weekends to just
check out things, but businesswise, I give myself one hour and
(15:18):
that is for content creationand posting, and I do that for
myself from 10 to 11 AM Mondaythrough Friday.
And then I'm like okay, I didit and it's good.
Now I'll also say right now,which isn't actually recommended
, but for my own mental healthand prosperity for this summer,
(15:42):
because, again, I have fourteenage daughters.
One of them is home fromuniversity and summertime is
very busy and very, veryprecious in my family.
So for me, I told my all of mycommunities in at the end of May
that June 1st to August 12th Iam going to be off of here and I
(16:03):
miss you and I will, you know,be gathering information.
I've taken this time.
I've read over 16 books, youknow, in this time, and it's
really my time to step back and,you know, assess, really take
in what we're doing as a familyand also trajectory I want to go
to.
So it's been really nice totake that step back, that step
(16:28):
back.
But if you do that, make sureyou tell your audience that
you're doing that and you don'tjust disappear because they're
you know people will go thereafter they hear you and be like,
oh well, she doesn't doanything on here and that's not
true.
So be sure you have somethingout there.
Rita Suzanne (16:39):
So could we say that your marketing strategy is
more so podcast podcasting likeinterviews and speaking
appearances versus like postingon social media.
Would you say that's more inalignment with your strategy?
Nellie Harden (16:54):
Yeah, 100%.
I do a lot of speaking, and Iprobably speak two to three
times a week and do it that way.
I love collecting people'sstories.
I'm just a story girl and Ilove to share my story if it
helps others, but also I lovejust connecting with people and
(17:16):
collecting their stories as well, and so it's just how I work,
and so that's a part of being abusiness owner is understanding
yourself and how you work.
And you know something I teachand work with.
You know your identity is notsomething you go and find per se
(17:37):
.
You know.
It isn't somewhere out in afield of daisies that you're
like, which one is me?
I think that one is me.
It is not something you go andfind.
It is something you build,though, and so sit down with
yourself, journal, really havetime to think and clear the
space in your head and say, okay, where do I actually want to go
(17:57):
, and then build the steps inorder to get there, and then you
will have so much more claritythan you ever had before.
But instead of the outside in,with everybody telling you what
you should do, figure out whereyou want to go and go there, and
, if you, quiet the mind and getthere and have that clarity
(18:18):
you'll be able to get there.
Rita Suzanne (18:20):
I love that you said that, because something
that I've been talking aboutlately is about over.
Overworking.
Right, Like you're working, Ithink a lot of moms, a lot of us
moms, do this.
We, we work so much.
We're constantly doingsomething, whether it's work or
around the house, and we reallydon't give ourselves enough
(18:42):
space to just be right.
You just sit and be.
And so I heard this analogy andit kind of fits in and I'm just
going to sneak in real fast andand tell it, because I think
that it's kind of goes alongwith what you're saying.
And so there's this you caneither be the cow or you can be
(19:03):
the lion, right.
And.
And so I'm always tellingmyself, like, be the lion, be
the lion right.
And so, with the cow, the cow,the way the cow is gathering its
food, it's constantly likewalking around, grazing, getting
its food.
And if we look at the way that alot of us work, we're
constantly working right.
(19:24):
If we're not on our computers,we're on our phones, we're
constantly have our mindsengaged with something.
And but, conversely, the waythe lion works and the way the
lion hunts for its food, it sitsand it waits, and that way it's
resting, and then when it'stime it's ready and it pounces
(19:49):
and it goes after, and then itgoes after its food and eats
because it's reserving itsenergy, and then it's able to go
.
And I think that a lot of timesif we are not reserving our
energy, then we cannot go right,like then we're moving at the
speed of the cow.
So true.
Yeah, and so I love that.
(20:10):
And so I'm constantly tellingmyself, like you know, be the
lion, be the lion, becauseotherwise in my mind I'm just
such a, I'm just so driven thatit's so hard for me sometimes to
turn that off you know and um,and then I get burnt out because
I'm like, oh, there's notenough on my plate, Like I need
five more of them over here out,because I'm like, oh, there's
(20:31):
not enough on my plate Like Ineed five more of them over here
, you know.
So it's just something that I'vebeen working on and, yeah, so.
Nellie Harden (20:41):
That's so good.
Just this morning I so I liveon the coast in North Carolina
and I just came back from afamily vacation and we were down
at the ocean in the Caribbeanand I I came back and I was like
I live at the ocean and I donot go there nearly enough.
So I dropped my youngestdaughter off at camp this
morning and I drove one miledown the road and I got out and
(21:02):
I took a two mile walk right onthe beach and I'm like, why do I
not do this more often?
And I just had my AirPods inand it was beautiful.
It was like storming off in thedistance but not on me, and I
was just listening to greatmusic and I was like, okay, I
need to do this a lot more often.
But it was the first time in awhile that I had just, you know,
(21:26):
just been, because normally ifI'm walking I'm listening to a
book or what have you, and I'mgetting more and more and more
information in.
But today I was like you knowwhat?
I'm tempted, but I am not goingto listen to a book, I am not
going to take any information in, I'm just going to listen to
music and let it be, and it wasso great, so great.
Rita Suzanne (21:45):
Yeah, I love that.
Okay, so that kind of goes.
It goes hand in hand with whatmy next question is, which is
how do you define success inyour business?
Is it solely based on financial, or is there some other factor
in which we kind of alreadyspoke about this?
But let us know.
Nellie Harden (22:05):
It's definitely not based off of financial.
I have a very impact-drivenbusiness and so I mean I'm not
going to lie, the financial isgreat and it's what helps.
I mean, I have four kids tosend to college, you know.
So there's a lot to be saidthere.
But for me, you know, Ivolunteer.
(22:28):
I am just a servant person atheart.
I always have been and so if Ican get out there and make my
words and actions matter andimpact somebody and help their
lives better for it, then thatis what success is.
For me, it is being in linewith my gifts and my talents and
my calling, and if I can dothat, then that is success.
Rita Suzanne (22:52):
I agree.
Okay, so let's talk about yourfavorite tools.
Is there a favorite tool, app,software or something that you
use in your business that kindof helps create more efficiency
in your life that you want toshare?
Nellie Harden (23:07):
I.
So there's two I want tomention.
And number one it's so silly,but it's just paper.
Honestly, I am a paper girl.
I mean, I, on my desk righthere, I have five.
I have a spiral notebooks, Ihave a journal, I have my
schedule, I have everything.
And there's something about thebrain connection when you write
something down that really isjust so powerful, it gets in
(23:29):
there deeper.
And also journaling, which Ithink is really, really
important.
I think everyone needs to do it, and my youngest daughter is 14
.
And you know, if anyone in ourfamily has ADHD, it's going to
be her right.
She's just all over the placeand the furthest thing from her
mind that she wants to do isjournal.
But I was like listen, thisthing from her mind that she
(23:52):
wants to do is journal, but Iwas like listen.
When you're speaking and whenyou're thinking, your mind is
going so fast and if you writethings down, it will force you
to go slower and think about,actually think about what you're
saying and what's coming in andwhat you're putting out into
the world, and so it's reallyimportant to to do that and help
you.
Just, you know, there's there'sthis, uh, my very first blog.
(24:13):
I ever wrote, ages and ages ago, was called consolidated chaos,
and that's what I think ourbrains are.
Each one of us consolidatedchaos in there, especially a
woman, and so, um, having thatjournaling is really important.
So paper, honestly, forscheduling and all the things,
but an electronic thing that Ireally love is Trello.
I use Trello a lot because Ijust need to organize my
(24:39):
thoughts, and I love it.
You could just drag and drop itand put this here and there and
so and it's free, I so Trellois something that I highly
recommend.
And, of course, dropbox.
I honestly don't know where I'dbe without Dropbox.
So, yeah, those would be whatI'd recommend.
Rita Suzanne (24:55):
I love it.
So, since we talked about, whatare you listening to or reading
right now, since we talkedabout when you're usually
walking, what are you listeningto or reading?
Nellie Harden (25:07):
I am usually listening to anything from, uh,
my fellow companions that areauthors that are out there
writing in this space.
Um, leadership, because all,all of my work leads up to being
a self-disciplined leader ofyour own life, and so I read a
lot on leadership.
Right now I'm, uh reading JohnMaxwell's 21 laws of leadership.
(25:28):
Um, I, I've met him.
He's great.
I've read several of his books,so that's the one I'm reading
right now.
But, yeah, I listen to a lot ofmy colleagues and their work
too, just because I want to beable to put out there and meet
(25:50):
them and collaborate with themin order to create bigger impact
.
So my one of my daughters, myall my daughters, are big
readers and they, of course, intheir you know life right now,
read a lot of fiction andthey're like mom, why don't you
read fiction?
I was like, oh, girlfriend, Ihave no time for fiction.
Like, real life is spicy enoughlike oh girlfriend, I have no
(26:11):
time for fiction.
Like real life is spicy enough.
You know, like I need, I'mgetting all the nonfiction.
I will maybe sometime in myfuture get back to fiction, but
it is not that season for meright now.
Rita Suzanne (26:20):
I'm with you.
I haven't read any fiction inforever.
It's always like business orself-care related, you know,
like growth wherever you knowthat may be, and it's been like
that for years, but okay.
So the last question that Ialways ask is what are you doing
for self-care, what are youdoing just for you?
Nellie Harden (26:42):
For me it's I'm an introvert and so I have to
have alone time and movementevery day, and so if I don't
have those two things, then it'sthe day quite literally derails
for me.
So I need some time in themorning where I'm doing my quiet
time, I'm journaling, I'mreading, and then I have to have
(27:07):
movement in there every day.
And you know, back when I wastalking about and my husband got
so sick, movement became suchan integral part of my life.
I know because we didn't knowif he was going to make it or
stay around, and so I eventhough growing up it wasn't such
a huge part I knew I need tomove every day if I'm going to
(27:28):
be here for my kids, grandkids,maybe great grandkids, right,
and so that's just reallyingrained in me at this point.
Rita Suzanne (27:36):
I think super important.
Ok, so where can everyone findyou?
Where are you at?
Nellie Harden (27:43):
I like to keep it simple.
So everything is at NellieHarden dot com, so that's just
N-E-L-L-I-E-H-A-R-D-E-N dot com,and you'll find the resources,
the books, the programs, the oneon ones and all my social
communities on there as well,and you can sign up if you have
if you do have any young womenin your life that you help,
(28:06):
whether you're a teacher, youthleader, parent, aunt, uncle,
grandparent, et cetera thatevery Friday, um I will be
putting out a newsletter and a a?
Um a new guide for you everyFriday.
Rita Suzanne (28:20):
Love it.
Thank you so much for beingguests.
Nellie Harden (28:23):
Yeah, thank you so much for having me.
Hi, this is Mom Owned and Operated.
I'm Rita, suzanne, and today Ihave my guest, nellie, with me.
Nellie, I'm so excited to chatwith you.
Please tell everyone all aboutyou, your business and your
family.
Nellie Harden (00:13):
Goodness, let's take the next 24 hours.
No, I'm just kidding.
So yeah, my name is NellieHarden.
Hello everyone, thank you forhaving me on the show.
And yeah, so I live in CoastalNorth Carolina with my family of
six, and so it's my husband andI and we have four daughters
who are all teenagers right now.
(00:34):
So they are 14, 16, 16 and 19.
And so to say we're busy is thebiggest understatement ever.
Always big things happening.
So as of this year, we haveeveryone in high school and
college.
So big things always happening.
But I started way back in, youknow, 20 plus years ago.
(00:58):
My background is in biology andpsychology and, believe it or
not, I actually was going intomarine mammology and I did and
that was my how I wanted to usebiology and psychology and
understanding behavior.
And I did that for a while andit was a beautiful experience
and I loved it and got to go onthe high seas in Australia and
(01:20):
study humpbacks and do all thethings.
But I met my now husband when Iwas 18 and he is a nine to five
computer guy.
Okay, so my high seasadventures and his nine to five
computer guy, especially when we, after we got married, we
wanted to start having kids didnot really mesh, and so I
started doing some veterinarywork and things like that.
(01:43):
And when I got pregnant withtwins anyone listening with
twins understands I was like, ok, I'm retiring from animal work,
I have enough animals that Ihave at home that I need to take
care of and so I came home.
But within a year after cominghome and now I have, you know,
three under three my husband gotreally sick and he has a heart
(02:05):
condition we didn't know about,and he for about two years he
was in and out of hospitals, onand off of medications, and in
that time I really had to divein and do a lot of work inside
myself.
We had to prepare for whatcould happen, and so I had to
have really strong communication, even with my two to four year
(02:29):
old during that time, andobviously with my husband as
well, and we had to make somereally big changes within our
family dynamics and our positivedisciplines that we were having
.
So that was really the start ofmy transition from, you know,
humpbacks to humans, if you will.
And so I took that time he hadheart surgery we almost lost one
(02:54):
of our daughters a few weeksafter that and from a drowning
accident, and so we went througha lot of things around 2008 to
2010.
And after that, around 2012, Ireally started using and my
family and I were.
(03:14):
We started going to church andwe started to know the Lord
around 2010.
But I was just really calledaround 2012.
Okay, you've done this for yourfamily for now, the last four
years.
It's time to go out and sharewith others and I was like, oh,
what, what do you mean?
And but that's really how itstarted and getting out there
(03:36):
and it's really been all aboutgrowth and positive disciplines,
because I was a young womanthat left home at 17 to go off
to college and you know, I movedseven hours away from home and
I didn't see my family formonths after that and I wasn't a
person that really had aninternal structure of worth,
(03:58):
esteem or confidence when I wentoff into this great adventure.
And as a woman especially youngmen as well, but especially as a
woman when you do that, you endup chasing your worth anywhere
you can find it, and that iswhat happened to me, going down
every shiny corridor that saidcome here and I will give you
value, come here and I will giveyou worth.
(04:19):
It was an outside in, not aninside out, and that really led
to some very hurtful things thathappened way back when I was 17
, 18 years old that have takendecades to heal from, and in the
meantime, now I have fourdaughters within that time to
raise up.
So, as an adult going through myhusband's illness infertility
(04:40):
that we also went through havingfour kids in four years you
know that we did.
I was also on a very personal,very vulnerable healing journey
of my own in order to facethings that happened but also
rebuild my foundation of worth,esteem and confidence.
(05:00):
So when I was then turningaround and looking at my
daughters, I was like I need tobuild this in them during their
formidable years, during whentheir, when their brain function
is still connecting right Oursstill is too.
Absolutely.
We have some neuroplasticity,but nothing like we have when
we're in adolescence, and sothat's really where it started.
(05:23):
And a number of years afterthat, I started developing
strategies for myself, as awoman that had to build or
rebuild things, and then also aspeople that are raising up the
next generation, be it a parentor a youth leader, a teacher, a
coach or what have you.
How can we set up an actualblueprint to help these young
(05:46):
women grow with this foundation,but also make it to individuate
to all their own personal needs, desires, personalities,
developments, et cetera.
So that's what I've been doingever since and what I do today.
Rita Suzanne (06:02):
So do you work with people one to one or do you
have group programs Like howexactly is everything structured
?
Nellie Harden (06:10):
So I do both.
I have a group program that isself-guided, called Take the
Lead.
It's all about loving andleading her to a place that she
loves and leads herself beforeshe leaves home, and so that one
you can get on and you can leadyourself through.
And what's great about that,it's lifetime access.
And so you know, anyone that'sraised a child, and especially a
(06:31):
young woman, knows you know howthey are at eight is different
than nine, different than 13,different.
So it's a program you canalways go back and revisit.
And I'll be honest, you know Ideveloped this program and then
I was going through a rough timemyself.
I went through my own programand I was like, okay, now I know
you know how to do it, becausewhen you put this together, then
(06:54):
going through it as as a personin need of it, it's a much
different process.
So I can attest to it from thewriter's perspective and also
from the person that's beenthrough it.
But anyway, so that isself-guided and you can always
go back to that as a resource.
I highly recommend if you havea daughter anywhere between six
and, honestly, around 23, 25,that is where you want to be and
(07:16):
have access to that.
And then I also have one-on-onethat I do on a more limited
basis for obvious reasons oftime and things, but I do have a
limited amount of space forone-on-one clients to have as
well, and I do that pretty muchworldwide UK, canada, us, et
cetera, and so Australia andthings like that.
(07:38):
So, yeah, one-on-one and groupwork to fit whatever need that
you're having at the time.
And a lot of times what thatlooks like is someone goes
through the group program andthey're they're doing this and
they're guiding, but they runinto a snag, a personal snag, a
very specific snag, and they'relike can we have some one-on-one
time?
And if you're in the programyou get discounted on that
(08:01):
one-on-one time versus if you'renot in that program as well.
Rita Suzanne (08:05):
So has the group program or one-on-one which one
has been, or any other thing hasbeen the game changer for you
as far as profitability in yourbusiness?
What has been the best?
Nellie Harden (08:19):
for you I would say the group program, just
because it's unlimited.
Right, it's out there, it'sunlimited and you can do that
and the one-on-ones have alsobeen very profitable and giving
and value giving, but it's justmore limited because I can only
do that on a couple of days aweek because I'm also, you know,
(08:39):
an author, I'm writing a book,you know, I'm doing all these
other things and I speak a lot,and so that one is just more
time limited.
Rita Suzanne (08:48):
And so that one is just more time limited.
Yeah, so, okay, so that hasbeen your biggest source has
that been your biggest source ofrevenue to date.
Nellie Harden (08:57):
The group program yes, I would also say I
co-authored a book and then Ialso have a scripture journal
out as well, and so those arealso great streams of value and
income coming in.
But yeah, I would definitelysay it is the group program.
Rita Suzanne (09:16):
I love that.
So what's been the mostvaluable financial lesson that
you could share with other momowned businesses?
Nellie Harden (09:26):
You know, I would say, to just go with your gut,
because and I say that becauseI've been through business
coaching programs, several ofthem you know three big ones you
invest all this money into as amom, you know, entrepreneur, a
woman entrepreneur and Iinvested, you know, thousands
(09:46):
into them.
And then they're like, oh well,you should sell your program at
$10,000.
And I invested, you know,thousands into them.
And then they're like, oh well,you should sell your program at
$10,000.
And I'm like, really, you know,not that, I don't think it has,
that doesn't have that value,because I mean, honestly, I
think it's priceless.
I wish people could go homefrom the hospital with their
daughters with this program inhand.
It is so valuable.
(10:08):
With their daughters with thisprogram in hand, it is so
valuable.
But I also want to make impactout there and I did a wonderful
survey of I don't even I thinkit was like 400 people worldwide
.
I took months to do it and thiswas about two years ago.
And you know what are thechallenges you're running into,
(10:30):
what are some resources that youwish were out there, what are
the biggest hurdles that you'refacing as a parent or things
that you're scared of?
Right, all these things.
And I knew, and you know, oneof the questions too was what
would you be able to or willingto pay for something like this?
And there's no way.
I think maybe two of that 400people were like I can surely
(10:53):
slap down $10,000, right.
And it just didn't feel rightin my gut to have this beautiful
value, you know, packed programout there that could only go to
a couple of people.
Rita Suzanne (11:08):
Yeah, I think that oftentimes, unfortunately, some
of these business coaches getinto that that mindset of you
know, if it's not superexpensive, then it's not.
You're not really valuingyourself or your program or
anything like that, and they'renot taking into consideration
who your target audience is, andyour target audience of parents
(11:32):
don't really have $10,000 toslap down on a course, Right?
I don't think that most of themare willing to do that,
especially as a parent myself.
Nellie Harden (11:42):
Yeah, exactly, exactly.
And so, yeah, just just followyour, follow your gut and say
what would you know if I were inthe shoes of my target audience
which, by the way, we shouldall be in the shoes of our
target audience, right, or havebeen at some point so we can
truly relate and understand whatthey need?
But what would I could, highcould I have done in order to
(12:07):
invest in something that wouldhelp me in this way?
And it honestly took me years,because I had so many people
barking in my ears to jack upthe prices, keep going up, keep
going up, keep going up.
My course is 50 videos and allof these resources and things,
because it's lifelong andthey're like oh you, there's no
(12:29):
way you can have that for lessthan $10,000.
I was like, but then I can'thelp her and her and her and her
, so yeah.
Rita Suzanne (12:37):
Yeah, no, I agree.
I think that you know.
I think that knowing yourtarget audience is super
important, but also knowingtheir pain points and knowing
their buyer behaviors.
But also knowing their painpoints and knowing their buyer
behaviors Buyer behaviors arereally good insights to take a
look into and knowing how yourtarget audience buys is really
(12:58):
critical.
And knowing like, do theyresearch a lot before they buy,
Do they compare, Do they readreviews All of these things are
super critical.
So let's move on.
We talked a little bit before,we pressed record about
marketing and we talked aboutsocial media.
But what is one marketingtactic or strategy that you're
(13:23):
doing right now that's kind ofworking for your business,
Because I know that we're havingsome issues over here with
Facebook and Instagram.
Nellie Harden (13:32):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
So one of the biggest thingsthat I I did was just come on
and be honest.
There is again.
So many people will try to tellyou oh, this is the algorithm,
do this and you have to post atthis time and you need to.
You know, go out and search.
They just give you this wholelaundry list of things that need
(13:54):
to do, but it honestly didn'tfit into my life and especially
the work that I'm doing and I ambringing life and breathing
life into these families andthese women in order to build
worth, esteem and confidence.
I was finding my own depletingby being on there so much and
(14:15):
following all thesequote-unquote rules which,
honestly, were antiquated.
The second I got them Because,as I was telling you, I was at a
conference earlier and theysaid that the algorithm for meta
changes every five seconds andI was like, well, for goodness
sakes, by the time I get youknow, someone learns this and
comes up with a curriculum forit and teaches me.
(14:35):
I'm a good six to 12 months outof you know this algorithm and
so it's very antiquated, and soI just had to do what was right
for me and but also beingprofessional about it and
understand.
Give yourself parameters andboundaries.
You know, have social media.
(14:55):
Be a part of your business inbusiness hours.
Don't leak it out to everywhereyou go, because you'll feel
like you're always on there,right?
And so one of the best things Iwas able to do is I give myself
one hour each day, mondaythrough Friday, not on the
weekends.
It doesn't mean I don't go onthere on the weekends to just
check out things, but businesswise, I give myself one hour and
(15:18):
that is for content creationand posting, and I do that for
myself from 10 to 11 AM Mondaythrough Friday.
And then I'm like okay, I didit and it's good.
Now I'll also say right now,which isn't actually recommended
, but for my own mental healthand prosperity for this summer,
(15:42):
because, again, I have fourteenage daughters.
One of them is home fromuniversity and summertime is
very busy and very, veryprecious in my family.
So for me, I told my all of mycommunities in at the end of May
that June 1st to August 12th Iam going to be off of here and I
(16:03):
miss you and I will, you know,be gathering information.
I've taken this time.
I've read over 16 books, youknow, in this time, and it's
really my time to step back and,you know, assess, really take
in what we're doing as a familyand also trajectory I want to go
to.
So it's been really nice totake that step back, that step
(16:28):
back.
But if you do that, make sureyou tell your audience that
you're doing that and you don'tjust disappear because they're
you know people will go thereafter they hear you and be like,
oh well, she doesn't doanything on here and that's not
true.
So be sure you have somethingout there.
Rita Suzanne (16:39):
So could we say that your marketing strategy is
more so podcast podcasting likeinterviews and speaking
appearances versus like postingon social media.
Would you say that's more inalignment with your strategy?
Nellie Harden (16:54):
Yeah, 100%.
I do a lot of speaking, and Iprobably speak two to three
times a week and do it that way.
I love collecting people'sstories.
I'm just a story girl and Ilove to share my story if it
helps others, but also I lovejust connecting with people and
(17:16):
collecting their stories as well, and so it's just how I work,
and so that's a part of being abusiness owner is understanding
yourself and how you work.
And you know something I teachand work with.
You know your identity is notsomething you go and find per se
(17:37):
.
You know.
It isn't somewhere out in afield of daisies that you're
like, which one is me?
I think that one is me.
It is not something you go andfind.
It is something you build,though, and so sit down with
yourself, journal, really havetime to think and clear the
space in your head and say, okay, where do I actually want to go
(17:57):
, and then build the steps inorder to get there, and then you
will have so much more claritythan you ever had before.
But instead of the outside in,with everybody telling you what
you should do, figure out whereyou want to go and go there, and
, if you, quiet the mind and getthere and have that clarity
(18:18):
you'll be able to get there.
Rita Suzanne (18:20):
I love that you said that, because something
that I've been talking aboutlately is about over.
Overworking.
Right, Like you're working, Ithink a lot of moms, a lot of us
moms, do this.
We, we work so much.
We're constantly doingsomething, whether it's work or
around the house, and we reallydon't give ourselves enough
(18:42):
space to just be right.
You just sit and be.
And so I heard this analogy andit kind of fits in and I'm just
going to sneak in real fast andand tell it, because I think
that it's kind of goes alongwith what you're saying.
And so there's this you caneither be the cow or you can be
(19:03):
the lion, right.
And.
And so I'm always tellingmyself, like, be the lion, be
the lion right.
And so, with the cow, the cow,the way the cow is gathering its
food, it's constantly likewalking around, grazing, getting
its food.
And if we look at the way that alot of us work, we're
constantly working right.
(19:24):
If we're not on our computers,we're on our phones, we're
constantly have our mindsengaged with something.
And but, conversely, the waythe lion works and the way the
lion hunts for its food, it sitsand it waits, and that way it's
resting, and then when it'stime it's ready and it pounces
(19:49):
and it goes after, and then itgoes after its food and eats
because it's reserving itsenergy, and then it's able to go
.
And I think that a lot of timesif we are not reserving our
energy, then we cannot go right,like then we're moving at the
speed of the cow.
So true.
Yeah, and so I love that.
(20:10):
And so I'm constantly tellingmyself, like you know, be the
lion, be the lion, becauseotherwise in my mind I'm just
such a, I'm just so driven thatit's so hard for me sometimes to
turn that off you know and um,and then I get burnt out because
I'm like, oh, there's notenough on my plate, Like I need
five more of them over here out,because I'm like, oh, there's
(20:31):
not enough on my plate Like Ineed five more of them over here
, you know.
So it's just something that I'vebeen working on and, yeah, so.
Nellie Harden (20:41):
That's so good.
Just this morning I so I liveon the coast in North Carolina
and I just came back from afamily vacation and we were down
at the ocean in the Caribbeanand I I came back and I was like
I live at the ocean and I donot go there nearly enough.
So I dropped my youngestdaughter off at camp this
morning and I drove one miledown the road and I got out and
(21:02):
I took a two mile walk right onthe beach and I'm like, why do I
not do this more often?
And I just had my AirPods inand it was beautiful.
It was like storming off in thedistance but not on me, and I
was just listening to greatmusic and I was like, okay, I
need to do this a lot more often.
But it was the first time in awhile that I had just, you know,
(21:26):
just been, because normally ifI'm walking I'm listening to a
book or what have you, and I'mgetting more and more and more
information in.
But today I was like you knowwhat?
I'm tempted, but I am not goingto listen to a book, I am not
going to take any information in, I'm just going to listen to
music and let it be, and it wasso great, so great.
Rita Suzanne (21:45):
Yeah, I love that.
Okay, so that kind of goes.
It goes hand in hand with whatmy next question is, which is
how do you define success inyour business?
Is it solely based on financial, or is there some other factor
in which we kind of alreadyspoke about this?
But let us know.
Nellie Harden (22:05):
It's definitely not based off of financial.
I have a very impact-drivenbusiness and so I mean I'm not
going to lie, the financial isgreat and it's what helps.
I mean, I have four kids tosend to college, you know.
So there's a lot to be saidthere.
But for me, you know, Ivolunteer.
(22:28):
I am just a servant person atheart.
I always have been and so if Ican get out there and make my
words and actions matter andimpact somebody and help their
lives better for it, then thatis what success is.
For me, it is being in linewith my gifts and my talents and
my calling, and if I can dothat, then that is success.
Rita Suzanne (22:52):
I agree.
Okay, so let's talk about yourfavorite tools.
Is there a favorite tool, app,software or something that you
use in your business that kindof helps create more efficiency
in your life that you want toshare?
Nellie Harden (23:07):
I.
So there's two I want tomention.
And number one it's so silly,but it's just paper.
Honestly, I am a paper girl.
I mean, I, on my desk righthere, I have five.
I have a spiral notebooks, Ihave a journal, I have my
schedule, I have everything.
And there's something about thebrain connection when you write
something down that really isjust so powerful, it gets in
(23:29):
there deeper.
And also journaling, which Ithink is really, really
important.
I think everyone needs to do it, and my youngest daughter is 14
.
And you know, if anyone in ourfamily has ADHD, it's going to
be her right.
She's just all over the placeand the furthest thing from her
mind that she wants to do isjournal.
But I was like listen, thisthing from her mind that she
(23:52):
wants to do is journal, but Iwas like listen.
When you're speaking and whenyou're thinking, your mind is
going so fast and if you writethings down, it will force you
to go slower and think about,actually think about what you're
saying and what's coming in andwhat you're putting out into
the world, and so it's reallyimportant to to do that and help
you.
Just, you know, there's there'sthis, uh, my very first blog.
(24:13):
I ever wrote, ages and ages ago, was called consolidated chaos,
and that's what I think ourbrains are.
Each one of us consolidatedchaos in there, especially a
woman, and so, um, having thatjournaling is really important.
So paper, honestly, forscheduling and all the things,
but an electronic thing that Ireally love is Trello.
I use Trello a lot because Ijust need to organize my
(24:39):
thoughts, and I love it.
You could just drag and drop itand put this here and there and
so and it's free, I so Trellois something that I highly
recommend.
And, of course, dropbox.
I honestly don't know where I'dbe without Dropbox.
So, yeah, those would be whatI'd recommend.
Rita Suzanne (24:55):
I love it.
So, since we talked about, whatare you listening to or reading
right now, since we talkedabout when you're usually
walking, what are you listeningto or reading?
Nellie Harden (25:07):
I am usually listening to anything from, uh,
my fellow companions that areauthors that are out there
writing in this space.
Um, leadership, because all,all of my work leads up to being
a self-disciplined leader ofyour own life, and so I read a
lot on leadership.
Right now I'm, uh reading JohnMaxwell's 21 laws of leadership.
(25:28):
Um, I, I've met him.
He's great.
I've read several of his books,so that's the one I'm reading
right now.
But, yeah, I listen to a lot ofmy colleagues and their work
too, just because I want to beable to put out there and meet
(25:50):
them and collaborate with themin order to create bigger impact
.
So my one of my daughters, myall my daughters, are big
readers and they, of course, intheir you know life right now,
read a lot of fiction andthey're like mom, why don't you
read fiction?
I was like, oh, girlfriend, Ihave no time for fiction.
Like, real life is spicy enoughlike oh girlfriend, I have no
(26:11):
time for fiction.
Like real life is spicy enough.
You know, like I need, I'mgetting all the nonfiction.
I will maybe sometime in myfuture get back to fiction, but
it is not that season for meright now.
Rita Suzanne (26:20):
I'm with you.
I haven't read any fiction inforever.
It's always like business orself-care related, you know,
like growth wherever you knowthat may be, and it's been like
that for years, but okay.
So the last question that Ialways ask is what are you doing
for self-care, what are youdoing just for you?
Nellie Harden (26:42):
For me it's I'm an introvert and so I have to
have alone time and movementevery day, and so if I don't
have those two things, then it'sthe day quite literally derails
for me.
So I need some time in themorning where I'm doing my quiet
time, I'm journaling, I'mreading, and then I have to have
(27:07):
movement in there every day.
And you know, back when I wastalking about and my husband got
so sick, movement became suchan integral part of my life.
I know because we didn't knowif he was going to make it or
stay around, and so I eventhough growing up it wasn't such
a huge part I knew I need tomove every day if I'm going to
(27:28):
be here for my kids, grandkids,maybe great grandkids, right,
and so that's just reallyingrained in me at this point.
Rita Suzanne (27:36):
I think super important.
Ok, so where can everyone findyou?
Where are you at?
Nellie Harden (27:43):
I like to keep it simple.
So everything is at NellieHarden dot com, so that's just
N-E-L-L-I-E-H-A-R-D-E-N dot com,and you'll find the resources,
the books, the programs, the oneon ones and all my social
communities on there as well,and you can sign up if you have
if you do have any young womenin your life that you help,
(28:06):
whether you're a teacher, youthleader, parent, aunt, uncle,
grandparent, et cetera thatevery Friday, um I will be
putting out a newsletter and a a?
Um a new guide for you everyFriday.
Rita Suzanne (28:20):
Love it.
Thank you so much for beingguests.
Nellie Harden (28:23):
Yeah, thank you so much for having me.
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Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.