May 2, 2024 • 54 mins
Hey Ma! Our season finale features the incomparable Tabitha Brown 🥳🥳🥳
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You know my is the crazy.
Yeah, he's like look, you mighthear us again, but you ain't
going to have to.
Speaker 3 (00:04):
Oh, you might hear us again, but you know what's up,
what's up, what's up, hey Mom,what's up, hey Mom, what's up,
hey Mom, what's up, what's up,hey Mom, what's up?
Welcome to Moms.
Actually, I am Morgan, I'mBlair and y'all the I know Y'all
.
We have Auntie the Auntie andhave the brown hair.
(00:30):
Oh my goodness, I am justcrawling in my skin right now.
I just literally cannot believeit, but I am so grateful that
you are here.
We are so grateful that you arehere, so grateful, and that you
are joining us on the couch.
We told y'all we had a treatfor you guys and did we deliver?
Speaker 2 (00:46):
or what we delivered.
Yes, you've been waiting forthis.
Yes, didn't even know you werewaiting for it, but yes we've
been waiting for this.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
But, yes, we are so excited to have you here.
Thank you so much for justjoining us.
You guys know, if you don'tknow, we are about to get into
some really, really goodconversation.
But before we start, we aregoing to give you a moment.
This is your moment, right now,to subscribe.
So we're just going to give youone little second.
Press the button.
All right, ok, so thank you somuch for joining us.
(01:14):
Before we get started into thenitty gritty of the conversation
, we'd like to play a littlegame.
Oh, OK.
Ok, Blair, can you take us inon the game?
Speaker 2 (01:21):
So we're going to play a little game.
You've seen it unless you'renew, it's giving motherhood yeah
.
That is why we have these funlittle paddles, and so gold
means yes, or it's the firstanswer or first option, and then
white means no, or it's thesecond option, because we're
going to do some yes or no andsome either.
Or yes, no, no, maybe.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
So, yeah, all that, all that, ok, we're going to
figure it out.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
So the first question are you ready?
All right, ok so yes, I'm ready, good guess, very good.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
She's like that was the first question, right.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Is having it all unrealistic.
I'm going to say yes becauseit's like a technicality.
I guess it's like what's theall?
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Yeah, All Right.
Well, I think that well, she'slike yeah.
Because all is what wedetermine.
Yes, right.
So to me, if we have life andwe have health and all the
things, whatever we perceive asall is all.
So I think, if we don't look atsomebody else's definition of
(02:27):
all, we always have it all.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
I can agree if we're going from that definition.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
That's why I?
Speaker 3 (02:31):
say no, because I'm like what's all to me, yeah, and
whatever is all to me is what Ihave, and it's not unrealistic.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
I'm like if you say all or none, like in an argument
or something.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
You're like black or white.
No gray, you're automaticallywrong, like because it just
never is.
Yes, ok, I'll go with that, ok,ok, do you think today's moms
face more challenges thanprevious generations?
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Yes, I say yes.
Oh, we've talked about thisbefore.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
I'm like I'm in the middle, I'm in the middle.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
I am.
I say yes because of socialmedia, but then like no, because
we don't have milk cows.
Like how far in the generationsare we going?
Like you know, there was just alot more that had to figure out
without technology.
So I'm like you can go harderfrom that.
You were like kind of lonely ortwo, Like it just depends on
(03:25):
what we're saying is thegeneration like the 1800s, the
1910s, the 1980s.
But I feel like social mediamakes it much harder as well.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Yeah, I think more access creates more challenges.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
Yeah, yeah, I would say the same thing.
That's why I'm kind of in themiddle, because we have just so
much exposure where we're like,ah, I'm not doing that, and kind
of what you were saying acouple episodes ago everything
is either right or wrong.
For a second it's like this isthe best way, and then it's like
, oh, studies show that actuallythat's awful way.
So it's like between that andthen.
(03:57):
But the previous generationsthey kept everything in.
Yeah, everything was.
We got to be strong, we got to.
You know we're talking more now.
So they didn't have an outletfor real to be able to say, no,
I'm not OK.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Yeah, this is true, yeah so both.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Have your kids ever walked in on you?
No, yes, my mother was walking.
She don't remember it.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Ooh that is very awkward.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Yeah, that was pretty weird, she was only two, yeah,
and we stopped instantly and waslike we're wrestling.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
Did y'all do it?
Did y'all do it?
You were like I don't like therest, I didn't get to do it.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
I don't like it.
I don't like it.
We just playing.
We don't like it either we justplaying oh my goodness, years
later, when she was like 14 or15, she heard us yeah, and she
was upset about it.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
So how do you have?
You had already had like thetalk.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Oh yeah, we had had the talk, yeah, many times.
Right, the talk is aconversation.
Yeah, ok, that's good, I lovethat.
You know she was in high school, but then she had an attitude
about it.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
So when she did.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
he took her to school that morning.
He was like, because we didn'tknow she had heard us, and so he
took her to school that morning.
And when he came home or hecalled me, he was like hey, I
think Choyce might have heard uslast night.
I said, well, he was like shehad a little attitude this
morning.
Nothing that he could say Likeshe wanted to have no
conversation, and so when wepicked her up, she still had an
attitude, and so I was like, oh,now we got to have a
(05:35):
conversation.
And so Chance who was, you know, my husband crazy.
He was like look you might hearus again, but you ain't got no
attitude at all.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
You might hear us again, but you know about that.
And she broke up with me.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
You know, we had a very small house up there.
And it's like you know.
We can understand your, yourthoughts, your emotion behind it
, but the reality is yourparents love each other and this
is also how you got here.
You also know what it is right,but we respectfully always try
(06:07):
to make sure you don't hear it.
And this is like the first timein your whole 14 years of life.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
It's not pretty good.
She don't remember when she wastwo.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
I didn't tell yeah, and so we worked really hard on
making sure she was comfortable.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
I like that you said that word, like respectfully.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
You still like, even though we're adults, even though
is our house all that, we stilltry to make sure you know
Absolutely, because you alsodon't want your children to have
trauma, because yeah, I'm likeit's weird.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
I'm like it's weird, but you should be happy, your
parents getting that all.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
Yeah, they love each other.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Even to this day.
She's 22 now.
She'd be like if we hugged.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
I can't believe she's 22.
Oh my God, y'all are sodisgusted.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
She got some flashbacks She'd be, like uh,
I'm out of here, yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
That's crazy.
She grown, yeah, but just theother day, oh yeah, that was the
first time For yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
I mean, y'all left four just yeah, so you were more
than person.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
Yeah, it seemed like it should have been the day yeah
, cause we don't typically needmorning stuff.
But it just was that day, oh,okay, but he you know, he went
right back out.
He didn't know.
He didn't know cause it stopped.
And then my husband was likeall right, son, go back in your
room, which usually he'll evensay that even when we're not
doing anything, cause we try tokeep a limit on, or a timeframe
(07:18):
on, when he can actually come inin the morning.
So he just knew to close thedoor and go back.
Oh good, it was pretty chill,but I was like wow, that was
close, woo, um, okay, me next.
So do you think parenting getseasier as kids get older?
Speaker 2 (07:35):
I'm gonna give a whole big old fat no.
I'm gonna say no.
I have younger kids, but I feellike everything's conceptual
with younger kids.
That's why all the advice Igive and I'm like but my kids
six and four, so you know wedon't see if it actually turns
yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
It's definitely a no.
Yeah.
So yeah, clearly, I don't thinkI realized how easy.
You know, baby stage was hot,live stage.
You know even elementary schoolall that.
It was so much easier, honey,trying to parent adults and
teenagers.
Baby, I'm lucky to be here,yeah, but it's also like now you
(08:12):
, you're never not parentingRight.
You have to adjust.
You know cause when you have,you know, teenagers, which is a
very tough stage because youdon't want to treat your
children like babies, but youalso don't want to treat them
like adults yet, right.
So you got to find the mediumright.
And every child is different.
You don't realize that untilthey start getting their own
(08:34):
personalities and as theycontinue to grow, it's
definitely harder as they growup.
And then you worry for the restof your life.
You be like I ain't gonna worryabout it, but as a parent, you
always got something in the backof your head.
Like you know, my daughter,nancy, moved to Houston.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
And she not.
I can't reach her like I usedto be.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
I can't imagine I'm about to touch her.
It's a lot different.
Yeah, I cannot imagine whenyour kids are just in the wild
every day, yeah, yeah, and theydon't even come back home Like
they just yeah, every day Living, yeah, just holiday.
Oh, we did it too.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
Call your mom after this.
Right, yeah, right, it's justhard.
My daughter's 11.
So I'm in the that stage oflike, oh, it's coming, yeah, no
it's here, oh it's here.
I'm like, ah, is she sixthgrade?
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Yes, oh it's like the first transition.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
Yes, so she is literally in that first
transition of you know, figuringout, like, oh, I have options,
people are trying to influenceme, all the things, and I'm like
okay, and of course, like yousaid, you got to let them figure
it out.
And they also have now theirown thoughts, their own desires,
all that stuff.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
But Whew, it's a lot.
And then you got to remain open.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
Right.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
So that they can still trust you.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
And that comes to you Right.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
And so, even when the parent inside of you want to be
like, no, do you need to dothis one.
Yep, you can't.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
You got to adjust.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
It's easy when they like.
You want it too Exactly, andit's like that's what I said,
Right.
But now when?
Speaker 1 (10:03):
they, you know it, you know, really are independent
and thinking on their own.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
You got to give them that freedom.
Noble already says, like youknow, no one can.
You can tell me what to do, butno one can make me do anything
Right.
And I'm like I'm already atthat stage and I'm like she's
six.
And I'm like you're right, Ican't make you do anything but.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
That's because we talked to her that way too, I
know it.
It's like, it's like it works.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
I'm like I don't need to get it right there.
You need to figure that out.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Yeah, I'll do that a little later.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Because, sometimes I do need to, you need to feel
like you have to, you have to.
But God, god, yeah, they firedon me.
Yeah, you did.
Okay, so you'd rather take aEat, pray, love solo trip or a
10 day cruise with your family?
Oh, oh, that ain't a yes or ano.
First option.
(10:52):
First option Eat Pray Love.
Okay, got you, or 10 day cruise.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
Whew, that's actually .
I thought I knew the answer,but that's actually kind of hard
.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
I mean, I want to go with the family and then after
I'm gonna need that solo she'slike both.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
That's good.
That's good, because how longis the Eat, pray, love trip?
Speaker 2 (11:10):
what we say.
I mean, let's say I feel likeJulia Roberts was going for
about four months.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
Ooh.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Let's say 10 days, 10 days, 10 days.
Yeah, let's do a 10 to 10.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
Yeah, I'm gonna go with Tab's answer Because I need
the family trip, because Idon't really like doing solo too
much by myself.
You know, especially traveling,but I've never traveled by
myself before, yeah, so yeah,yeah, I don't like that.
But 10 day on a cruise, I'venever been on a cruise, because
that feels weird.
The cruise was surprising.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
I thought I would hate it.
It was not that bad.
Yeah, I enjoyed it.
Like if you get on a nice one,like it just looks it's a
floating beauty, Like it's abeautiful.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
It's like a floating Vegas.
Yeah, floating Vegas.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Okay.
Okay, the rooms can sometimesbe a bit tight depending on
where you're.
Good, but a cruise actually,and then they do the stuff.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
I think the cruise, yeah, and I'm gonna bring Sophie
going on a trip with us Becauseshe's like bring the nanny, the
kids will be here, but, mm,okay, yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Dad, I think I would do the cruise.
I feel like my house is my EatPray Love, like I get a lot of,
like I make those moments.
So, yeah, I would do the familycruise.
I'm actually very surprised,right now.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
I'm shocked.
I'm shocked.
When does the mom sleep?
Sleep when the baby sleeps orwhenever it just happens?
Speaker 1 (12:24):
If the mom doesn't sleep Well, we definitely should
sleep when the baby's asleep.
When you're, you know peoplesay that all the time.
But reality is baby, it just behappening.
Yeah, right, it just behappening.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
Yes, it's hard because sometimes when the baby
sleeps, it's like that's when Iwanna do, something I wanna do
Even though I'm tired, and thatdoesn't stop after the newborn
stage.
That's still the kids Like I'm,like I am so tired, but I wanna
sit up and watch a show or, youknow, catch up on.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
I feel like the first two weeks you can kinda adapt
it.
After that it's like oh, now Igotta get some stuff.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
Figure it out.
Yeah, okay, first two weeks.
Y'all hear that.
First two weeks.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Well, toddler stage, or teenagers.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
Toddlers.
We just went over there, yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
I miss that stage.
It's my idea.
They're fine.
They love you more yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
I'm like, I'm not a baby person, I'm a toddler
person.
I love toddlers.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
Even when they're having their tantrums, all the
things.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
So I'm like it's the cutest thing Teenagers Woo.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Bless some Jesus.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Yeah, y'all are Bless some door.
I remember being a teenager.
I apologize to my parentsBecause how old is your son now.
He's 11.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
So he got you.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
But you know, boys are different, yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Yeah, he's still my baby.
I was gonna say so.
He's probably just two years.
You did the whole girl thingand now you're doing the boy.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
Yeah, he said he never gonna leave me nor forsake
me.
Oh.
That's my son right there.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
I've been practicing my son saying that too, I'm like
promise mommy, you won't growup.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
He said well, I can't , I can't really promise you
that.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
But I'm gonna be here .
Speaker 1 (13:57):
That's my baby.
Oh, I love that.
Boys love they, moms, they do.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
Is it me?
Yes?
Do you believe that genderreveals are overrated?
Yes or no?
Speaker 1 (14:10):
I'm gonna say no just because I think if people wanna
do that, that's their business,you know they wanna be excited
about it and make it a thing.
It wasn't a thing when I youknow Me, neither you know, but
I'd be wishing I could have alittle fun moment too.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
But listen, I think whatever people wanna do to
excite themselves or have acelebration baby, you do that.
That's your business.
Speaker 3 (14:32):
Yes, I agree.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Yeah, I think it's cute.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
But, like I said, if you know what sex you want to
have, just don't do it.
Unless you already know andyou're surprising everybody else
because seeing those peopleupset at their gym.
Speaker 3 (14:43):
Yeah that's no fun.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
And then the next 20 weeks or if they people find out
early early now, Like do youimagine a whole?
Pregnancy being mad.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
Sad upset and then your child has to see that later
, exactly If you'd be a mad toget coming.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
What happened was oh, you didn't want me.
Yeah, I waited till birth tofind out, because I really
wanted a boy.
Yes, and I had a girl, but Ididn't have any time to feel any
way, but the baby's here, so Iavoided 20 weeks of
disappointment.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
I wanted if we did it one more time.
That's what I wanted to do justwait and see what the surprise
was.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Oh yeah, because you got the girl, you got the boy.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
But we, the shop is closed, shop is closed, so we
won't be doing that.
You don't know, people getsurprised.
No man, no, we kept and snipped.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
Yeah, okay, okay, okay, there we go.
No surprises, no surprises.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
I mean it's we're on the great heat doing that.
Okay, Well, that was great.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
Thank you so much for playing.
It's giving motherhood Now.
Let's just dive into theconversation Now.
You are known for a plethora ofthings.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
Oh, plethora.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Yeah, plethora of things.
You have a long list, but isthere anything that you don't
normally get to talk about thatyou're like?
You know what?
I wish they would see this sideof tab more.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
No, I'll be talking about everything.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
You do, yeah, you do your open book.
I feel like, yeah, I'm openbook.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Yeah, I'm open to whatever you want to talk about.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
What is the first time you you heard of Tabitha?
What was your first likeTabitha experience?
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Oh man, Um, I mean, it's been so many things, I
would say probably all the thecooking recipes.
So I was like ooh, you can makebacon like this.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
That was my yeah, like that was my first one.
I was like, yeah, he just madecarrots into meat.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
And it looked good, but yeah, yes, yes, yes, because
I love that very much, so I'malways following people, that,
so I think I followed you forthat.
And then I was like, oh, andshe loves the Lord.
And she got like some reallygood inspiration and then you
came out with all the snacks andyou just kept growing and I
love seeing people's journeys.
(16:50):
So you know you follow somebody, but you made me stick around.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
Yeah, that's, true I appreciate you sticking around.
Yes, yeah.
So how has it been?
Because it hasn't been thatlong.
Really, it's like you workedvery long and hard to become an
overnight success right 24 yearsinstead of 20.
Wow.
But people, you know when youpop up, that's when they think
you've appeared like oh we justshe went viral once and you know
showed up or what have you.
(17:15):
So how have the last few yearslike being compared to you know
the work that got you to thethis version of fruit.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
It's been amazing.
Yeah, right, the first.
You know it started.
I started doing videos andcontent in 2017 and had my first
viral moment December 30th of2017.
So 2018 is really when it tookoff.
A lot of people didn't find meinto 2020 on like TikTok when
that came about, but my firstyou know moment was 2018, in
(17:45):
January and I got my first likeWhole Foods campaign right from
that video and that was the carand the car when the sandwich
and the TCLA and it just kind oftook off from there and it was
very Different from me because Ihad never did like content and
(18:05):
social media.
That's a new world for me.
You know I'm a trained actressand, yes, um had been working
like in corporate America 95 orI pursue my dreams out here in
LA, and so I was like, wait, Ican make money on the internet.
Jesus, I didn't know this.
Yes, so just learning that, andI kind of stepped away from
acting for like those first twoyears because I was doing so
(18:26):
much you know, content andtraveling and speaking to people
, and it was, I didn't evenrealize I wasn't doing my acting
stuff.
Wow, hey you know, god had, justlike he kind of put me in this,
this safety zone.
He was like I'm gonna developsome something different inside
of you.
Put these next two years, and Iallowed it and I was like, okay
, lord, I'm open to whatever youwant me to do, and so it's.
(18:47):
It's been an amazing journey.
I'm very grateful.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
Yes, I love that.
It sounds almost like you hadto surrender a little bit.
Oh, absolutely, um, and I thinkwe hear a lot of times from
moms they're like In that seat,that safety zone, but they don't
know they're in the safety zone, oh right, what are the signs
that you're like right there andyou just need to surrender for
God to do what he's supposed todo?
Speaker 1 (19:11):
For me, the sign is when everything that you've
tried is not working.
Right Now, I got to be obedientand let God open the doors and
let him make the moves for me,and I continue to follow you
know and and walk in those steps.
But if everything that you'retrying, you just feel like I'm
not in control anymore, yeah,this is the time when you know.
Okay, I got to let him be incontrol and surrender, be
(19:32):
obedient.
That's.
That's kind of the sign for me.
That's what it was.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Okay, you know I can imagine you.
I mean, you work so hardtowards becoming an actress and,
like this Career path thatdidn't even exist.
So it's like right now I'mdoing this, like, how did you
adjust, like to the changes so,from your everyday life To now,
all of this attention and it'slike you're working to?
(19:57):
If you were an actress, youwould have got all the attention
too.
But, like, how did it feel to,like, get out into the public
spotlight, have everybody'sopinions on you, like, literally
overnight, have such a changeto your lifestyle?
Speaker 1 (20:09):
um, you know, it never really felt, and this is,
you know, I've answered thisbefore.
In a way it felt normal for me.
I love that.
It felt very normal.
I love and I've told the storybefore For years pursuing acting
.
You know, it didn't matter therole was paying me $50 or if I
was doing it for free.
(20:30):
It could be a short film or amajor you know, a feature film,
a commercial, a music video, itdidn't matter what it was.
I will come home and tell myhusband oh, this is it.
This is I would be so excited.
Oh, my god, this is it, honey,we're gonna go to the film
festival, like all these thingsI would be like just over
excited about.
And when these things startedto happen in this new career
(20:50):
path, I was making money, thingswere really had people work,
knowing who I was, and I wasvery calm about it and my
husband was like, hey, listen,you know when for years you
would come home and nothing wasreally happening.
But yeah, so excited and youbelieve that it was.
He was like and now that thingsare really happening, we really
are, you know you really makingmoney like and success has come
(21:12):
.
You're very calm.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
He was like so what, what is it?
That's kind of like you know.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
Yeah, and I was like, oh, because you know, before my
, my spirit and my flesh was notin alignment.
So while my flesh was like, oh,my god, my spirit was like,
girl, no, you got to keep going.
But now I'm all in alignment,yeah, so I feel balanced, yeah,
and I'm very grateful.
So it's a different energy.
I'm super excited all the time,yeah, but it feels very much so
(21:37):
like, oh, I'm at home, it'slike a kairos moment, mm-hmm.
It's just very feels, verynormal, like, oh, this is what
got it into the film.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
Yeah, I was gonna say so.
You're not surprised by whereyou're at now.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
I'm I wouldn't say surprised, because I would
always dream and see things.
I never imagined it to be theway it is.
I always knew something wascoming, but I'm very like, oh
God, this is it this is amazing,yeah, but not just it.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
Because you actually get to.
It's funny, you do all thistime to become an actress,
playing other people, otherparts, and you get to be this,
being yourself, be tailed.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Yeah, it's not wild, it's amazing.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
But then you still get to use that.
Now I was going to say you stillget to do your acting, so it's
like nothing is wasted, all thethings that you still.
It all comes back around, butit's because you were obedient,
absolutely.
Wow.
Now you have, in the midst ofall this, you have children.
So how has that been?
Because I can only imagine, asyou continue to get bigger, as
(22:37):
you continue to get more rolesand things like that, your kids
don't go anywhere.
They still need you, they stillneed mom, and you're America's
mom right now, but they're likebut nah, you my mom.
So what's going on?
So how has that been?
Just kind of balancing all thatand we have a fun, because she
(22:58):
doesn't believe in balance atall, and I'm like there's
rhythms.
So what's your take?
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Well, for me, I am mama first, right, I'm family
first.
That's just how I live my life.
Everything else is just thebonus, right?
My kids?
It's so funny.
Yesterday we was at a fashionshow and people come up and I
was with my daughter.
They want to take pictures andall the things she was like.
I'll be forgetting you, babe,because at home I'm just mama.
(23:25):
Yeah, right, so it's no.
Oh, my god, this is my mom.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
It's like no, this mama.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
And so I just stay true to who I am.
You know, when I go out I'mstill tan, but at home it's just
I'm mama.
So my kids don't they know?
Oh, my mom is.
You know, it's half the brand,but that's just like my name.
Yeah, right.
So my son?
(23:51):
He's younger, which is so funny.
He will be out and he'll belike, oh, these are your things.
You know he'll be like, oh, okTo him at a very early age, when
things really started happeningin the last couple of years, if
you were successful, becauseyou know their generation
watched YouTube, yes, and theYouTubers would have the Model X
(24:12):
Tesla with the doors to go up.
That's how he like measuredsuccess.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
And he was like but I didn't have that, oh, so you
ain't really, you're not reallyfamous man.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
Man, the doors right.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
And so I was like but what if mommy just don't?
Want that, but he's like yeah,but the YouTubers, that's what
they do when you've got money,that's what you do?
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Do you have to get a car to show your son?
No, I still ain't got that over.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
I'm like oh, he's like but mom, but that's kind of
like his way like, oh, mom, youain't made it yet, yeah so he's
still like yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
But it's still just mama.
Speaker 3 (24:46):
I love that, so yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
Besides like having a son and a daughter, what's been
the biggest difference inraising them?
Because you raised yourdaughter during a different era
of your life and now you'reraising your son during you know
, he's more present for this eraof your life.
So what's been the biggestdifference?
Speaker 1 (25:01):
The biggest difference is patience.
Right, I'm older, right, so Ialso suffered loss and hardship
and all that with my daughter,and it also taught me to be more
present, not to be in a rushfor them to grow up, to hold on
to each moment when you can,because you can look up tomorrow
(25:24):
and it's gone, right.
So being more patient, beingmore understanding.
Also, I think the biggestlesson was that they are not the
same right, I'm also not thesame and giving grace more for
myself, right, and extendingthat to the children.
(25:45):
But also we don't have thestresses that we had with my
daughter.
We was broke for a long time.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
She's like cool, you know same plane and you know
choice.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
We moved around a lot you know from apartments, you
know houses renting, trying tofind you know, better schools
and all the things.
So she moved a lot where my sonhas only, you know, had like
two or three, but he's alwayshad homes right and so I used to
kind of carry that like almostas a guilt for my daughter and
she was like mommy, I thought itwas fun.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
You know we were moving out.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
I was like, oh, I got a new room, but I grew up in
the same house my whole life,right, and so it was my own
internal thing, but, yeah, beingable to give him things that we
could not give her, you know,when it comes to like education
and more opportunities, thingslike that.
(26:43):
But even with being able to dothat, she had so much more when
it comes to, I guess, like, likethe like, not street knowledge,
but you know, like over, weknow you can be all right, yeah
exactly With him we'd be like oh.
Jesus.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
Is he gonna be all right, you know, yeah, yeah,
cause he's like he's gonna takecare of himself out there.
Like choice would be, like no,give you a buck.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
Yeah he's like I don't think we should really.
You know, mommy, I don't know,you know, right.
So I'm like oh Jesus, what havewe done to the child?
Speaker 2 (27:14):
right, you gotta just throw him out somewhere, yeah,
cause he gonna survive out heresoon yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
But yeah, I think that's the difference.
But the core of who we are hasalways been the same.
But, as you know, as you growand you age and things shift, of
course we have to shift andchange as well.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
So, but yeah, Is there a way or a strategy that
you have to staff your life, Tostaff my life.
What do you mean?
Like your village and how youget, because we can't do any of
this alone.
So how?
What are that?
Because we hear it all the time.
They're like well, how do youalways say sisterhood and
(27:52):
village, but like, how do you dothat?
How do I meet these people?
How do I even decide thatthere's the right people to have
in my village?
So, do you have a village andhow have you?
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Oh yeah, absolutely.
We have a village here and,like, as we moved in, we didn't
know nobody Right?
So over the years, when I wasin acting class, when we first
moved out here, I was, you know,we got married.
You know, my husband was 25years, so I was the only one in
class that had a baby and whowas married, yeah, and so I
would invite everybody over tomy apartment.
Well, okay, we would haveSunday dinners, and so I would
(28:25):
cook, and I won't be gettingback being but we just cookin'
you know, play games andeverything in the village just
continue to grow over the years.
And, of course, when I had myson, it's like everybody showed
up Right, and so now, as successcomes in and freedom comes, the
circle actually has gottensmaller.
Yeah, I agree.
(28:47):
Yeah, it gets smaller, but itshould, right, and I had said
this recently.
Sometimes it has to get smallerso we can get bigger, and so,
with that, I know the people Ihave now I can truly trust right
.
And then of course, you knowyou hire people to with your
team.
But when it comes to my family,though, it's like you got to be
family, to be in the family.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
Absolutely yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
But I do we be mom and daddy.
Speaker 3 (29:12):
Yeah, we still going to drop you off at school and
pick you up and do the things,yeah, okay, one of the things I
love that you said is that youopen your doors, like to the
people to come in, and I think alot of us.
We're always waiting forsomebody to open the door to us
and that's why we, you know,we're like, oh, no one invited
me and no one, but we're like,okay, well, you can open the
door.
So that actually spoke to me,because I've been in my new
(29:34):
state for a little over a yearnow and sometimes I'm like, tag,
I wish I had this or, you know,I missed that family moment.
But I'm like I could createthat, like I could open my doors
.
And you know, I don't have towait to have this big house with
all the space, but I could justuse what I have.
So that's the little tip rightthere Little side bars, just
(29:55):
open your door.
Don't wait for everybody to youknow, open their door to you,
but you let the people come in.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
Of course, use the sermon, but yeah, oh yeah, okay
yeah, just turn it.
Speaker 3 (30:03):
Everybody's like yes, yes, it's funny we were doing a
lot more things like back then.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
That probably wild style now, yeah, we let our like
.
I was out in the wild without acell phone as a child.
Yeah, yeah, like that's kind ofgrimy, riding bikes all through
the woods going here, there.
Speaker 3 (30:19):
Yeah, never let my kids do that now Taking a whole
bus to school at five years old.
Yeah, all by myself yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
It's crazy.
I live in a great neighborhoodand I wouldn't let my kids play
outside by themselves.
I don't know, maybe I coddle toomuch, but yeah, so I have a
question.
So you know Michelle Obamatalked about being married to
President Obama.
Do we still call him that?
Yeah, president, and how?
There's time periods, you know,she like, I like him for a
whole decade.
So like how do you get through25 years of marriage With all
(30:49):
the changes, all the kids, allthe things like, because it's
not the same marriage that youhad in your one year, five, 10
years?
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
I think that it's important to know in marriage
and relationships you are goingto change both of you Right, and
so you got to be open to thechange.
There's absolutely thosemoments.
I understood Michelle.
Anybody who'd been married fora long time understood what she
was saying.
Yeah, I haven't had like 10consecutive years.
Speaker 3 (31:16):
That's a long time I'm not liking somebody, right.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
But we, both of us have had times when I'm like,
yeah, lord, have mercy, I can'tstand.
Speaker 3 (31:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
But, we love you know , by default.
That's why we all have heartsright.
But that doesn't necessarilymean we're going to like a
season that you're in.
Yeah, sometimes I don't like me.
Thank you, right.
That could be a season that Iain't really fooling with me.
Right now, of course, I ain'teven got the capacity to fool
with you.
That makes sense, right so.
But I also know that a lot oftimes it has to do with
(31:46):
self-work, mm-hmm.
If we ain't gonna do the workon ourself, we can't hold our
partner responsible for ourhappiness.
Right a lot of people do, and alot of people do so.
Honesty, being transparent,having uncomfortable
conversations, sometimes beingquiet, mm-hmm, right, these are
the things that help you getthrough 25 years, but the growth
(32:09):
and understanding the growthand the changes is the things
that truly will get you throughit.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
Right, because I'm like you know people.
Either we either think peopledivorce too fast or separate too
fast or like, oh no, people aretogether because they put up
with a lot of crap and Iwouldn't do that.
So it's like because people arelike I wouldn't want my
grandparents' marriage becauseit wasn't this Right.
So I guess, how do you knowwhat's worth working through?
Speaker 1 (32:35):
Well, I think that the first place that we go wrong
is comparing our marriages.
Mm-hmm Right, Like you know,when people say I don't want my
grandparents' marriage, well,you should, you should want your
.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
I would talk about that.
You should want your sister'smarriage.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
You shouldn't want your friend's marriage.
You should want your marriage,yeah.
You should want your marriage.
Yeah, and your marriage isgonna be different than anybody
else's right, because what y'alldo in your house is y'all
business Right.
So I am a firm believer in notincluding a lot of folk in your
covenant right.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
So like this is.
There's certain things whereyou do need to talk to somebody
and say, let me run somebody,how do you feel?
But how they feel should neveroutweigh how you feel.
Right.
You shouldn't be so influencedby what somebody else tells you
about your own marriage and somaking the decisions that work
for you, and I think thatsometimes you can be in a
relationship and one of y'allmay not want it to work anymore.
(33:27):
Y'all might be ready to throwthe towel in, but the other
person is like no, I still feellike we can work on this.
The moment comes where y'allboth in the same like for a long
season of I don't want to dothis no more.
Then there's something likewell, let's talk about it.
Neither of us really want to dothis anymore.
Let's unpack why and see if wehave valid reason for us not to
do this anymore.
(33:48):
Right, but if you don't havevalid reason, then that means
okay, we still got some work todo.
But I think it's to each hisown.
You know, in a relationship Idon't think there's one thing,
because some people can handlecertain things and some people
can't.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
Oh for sure Some people will be like, oh wait, he
wore black.
Yeah, I know someone a reason,someone divorced and it was like
I was like y'all can work withthis.
Yeah, I think her husband likelooked at pornography or
something and she felt like thatwas cheating and they divorced
over that.
Oh God bless her.
I was like, wow, can I neverget married to you?
I was like, can I that's?
Speaker 1 (34:17):
right.
I was like I'll switch.
This is yeah, but that's how itis.
Yeah, right, Exactly.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
Like you said, you can't compare.
But wow, yeah, yeah, yeah,absolutely.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
God bless you.
Everybody got their own reason.
Speaker 3 (34:34):
Even with life and we're talking about you know,
relationships and stuff likethat, but motherhood and
marriage, that's a whole thingin itself.
Like you have your life, yourlifestyle, all the things,
success, passions, all thathappening, but marriage and
motherhood together.
What is that?
How do you prioritize yourmarriage over your kids?
(34:58):
Do you believe that's a thing?
What is that like?
Speaker 1 (35:02):
So when we first had choice right, we were young, we
hadn't got married yet she was aflower girl, so it was all
about her for me.
You know, I'm a young mom andI'm trying to figure this out,
and it was really a tough timefor my husband because he was
(35:22):
like dang.
I feel like you just forgot allabout me right.
And I'm like I got this baby youknow, I'm breastfeeding on
demand, I'm pumping, I'm alsogoing to work and I was so
focused on being a good mom thathe had become like kind of
second in that moment.
But then, after getting marriedand going years and years, they
both took priority over me.
(35:43):
Right, I was whatever theyneeded I was doing.
And when I had my son, we hadbeen together for a long time
then and I realized by then Iknew, oh, marriage is first.
My husband comes even beforethe children, but I had to come
before him yeah.
(36:04):
But it took me a long time toget that.
And so now I know right in thelast six years I call it my
freedom walk I come first right,then I make sure he good and
then the children.
Speaker 2 (36:17):
Right.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
That's how I operate and most times he and I are with
, so on the same page when itcomes to the kids.
That it's easy to navigate that, but you know everybody's a
little different.
But if you truly believe inyour marriage, right, you
understand that it has to comefirst.
Right, it has to come beforeyour mom and daddy and for your
(36:38):
children.
Because a lot of times parentsbe so attached to their children
even though they've beenmarried for a long time they
forget that.
Wait a minute.
The husband and wife got tocome before y'all now, right, so
we got our own home now.
So it's definitely him first.
Because, listen, what do yousay?
What the kids going to do?
They going to be disrespectfuland grow up, okay, and leave,
(37:00):
and leave.
And they ain't going to lookfor you to put them first.
Right, and now you at hometrying to figure out what am I
doing, because you didn't takeyour time to nurture what you
had and what you're going tohave to have when they're gone.
So which is yourself and yourpartner?
Speaker 2 (37:15):
Was there any guilt that came with that?
Because?
Of race so how do you fightthat?
Speaker 1 (37:22):
So it's different levels of guilt.
There's the parent guilt thatcomes and I think it never goes
away, when you think that you'renot doing something right.
And then there's the marriageguilt Like oh dang, I guess he
was right.
I wouldn't really pay him noattention.
You know also, as your bodychanges, you know you had a baby
(37:44):
.
You ain't never the same honey.
I don't even feel like havingsaid it.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
How many wants you to look at me right now?
We talked about being touchedout, but they don't get it, it's
personal to them.
Speaker 3 (37:55):
They think it's personal, I still love you.
I just look at the sunlight.
The sunlight is nice.
Speaker 1 (38:02):
Listen, they don't see what we see.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
And we thank God for that.
Oh yeah, they are so kind.
You look good, but I alwayssaid I have to feel like I'm a
good girl.
Speaker 1 (38:12):
And men have to get to their place where they feel
like that about themselves, themoment that they start having
some insecurity moments maybethey'll miss, because it don't
happen as often for me, but whenthey do, then it's sometimes
like a wake up, like, oh, thisis what you were feeling.
So for me, the guilt came inthose waves.
(38:33):
But when I started my freedomwalk, which meant I started
taking these layers off of thistab that I had created to
navigate the world and to fit inand to be like this perfect
person, I started realizing.
I was like, oh, wait, a minute,I was living for everybody
except me, and that meant I hadto start putting me first and
(38:53):
really getting to know myself.
And once I got to know me thetrue me I was like, oh, it's got
to start with me every day andI can't feel guilty about it and
I'm not going to apologize forit, and so that's how I live now
.
Speaker 3 (39:06):
I almost like being unapologetic about constantly
finding who you are yeah,absolutely.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
We should not apologize for that and we should
not feel guilty about it.
Speaker 2 (39:13):
So 2017 was your year , because that was six years ago
.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
So it was like, did it?
Speaker 2 (39:17):
happen, like right before, or what was the timing,
like you decided you were goingto put you first Because I got
sick.
Speaker 1 (39:23):
So during my sickness I was sick from 2016 to 2017,
for about a year and a half, andI thought I was going to die,
and during that time was theunraveling of this tab that I
had created for so long and, inmy prayer to God, my final wish
(39:44):
and call out, because I reallythought God had forgotten about
me.
My prayer was God, if you healme, you can have me, and that
meant I won't want you to livemy life my way anymore.
I was going to live it the wayhe created me, and in order to
do that, that meant I had toreally show up and stay up and I
had to take these layers off,and that meant OK, now I got to
be free, and so going on afreedom walk is why I call it
(40:06):
there Was every day learning tobe obedient, every day learning
to put me first, every day, nolonger trying to conform.
I ain't cold switching, no more.
I'm not covering my accent, nomore.
I ain't going to dress the wayyou want me to dress.
I'm not going to wear my hataway.
You want me to wear it.
I'm going to be who God hascalled me to be and it's going
to be this style and I'm notgoing to apologize for it
Doesn't mean I'm not triggered.
(40:27):
Because when you hit on ahealing journey, something is
going to shift you right or makeyou say oh, wait a minute, do I
deserve to be in this space?
Can I show up like this?
But then you check that, wecheck ourselves, and then we
proceed.
Speaker 2 (40:41):
I would say I feel things, but I don't let it run
me.
Like I don't pretend like Idon't have those moments.
So is that what you would sayto somebody who is like that
feels like God has forgottenthem?
Speaker 1 (40:52):
Yeah, I think that you know, during that time when
you feel that that's him wantingand desiring you to get closer
to him, yeah, right, for methat's what it was.
Me thinking that he hadforgotten about me made me go
deeper in my search for him,right?
And so I always say go deeper,right, you know, get a little
bit closer.
Speaker 3 (41:12):
Yeah, jeez, I just it's funny because I can relate
to that Like, after I wentthrough my big health scare, I
think I did take off a layer andpeople do ask like how do you,
you know, live in such a?
It's just different working.
And I'm like, yeah, because Irealized that it's not worth it,
(41:37):
like it's not worth living likethis all the time.
And if he was going to take meout, he would have done it a
long time ago.
He's like waiting for me tojust be free and walking what he
called me to be, so I would youknow, just little sidebar, if
you are in a moment where youare, you are right on the edge
(41:58):
and you know you're supposed tojust walk in freedom.
I love that you're calling itthat your freedom walk because I
haven't had verbiage for it.
I'm always like I don't know.
It's just kind of happenedabout two years ago and God said
but it's truly that it iswalking in freedom, walking in
what God literally called you tobe, and not not scared even
(42:21):
though it is scary, yeah, andeven if you scared, it's all
right.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:24):
Yeah, being afraid doesn't mean you're not free.
Acknowledging it means you'refree.
That's a good point, so it'sall right to do it.
Yeah exactly.
One more time.
But seriously, that's what itmeans you can be scared but
still be free.
Yeah, it's also scary whenyou're walking in freedom.
For me, when I first starteddoing videos and you know I had
(42:47):
to get the big chop hat cut offall my hair and in my prayer and
being obedient, I was like Igot to stop, like trying to talk
, perfect, yeah, I got to.
You know, I've been trained foryears.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
I worked in corporate .
America and also in acting likeyou have that cold sweat.
Speaker 3 (43:01):
Oh yeah, okay, yeah, who will talk?
All on the phone.
Speaker 1 (43:06):
Even with the people I had met here in LA because I
was trying to be this perfecttag.
Speaker 2 (43:10):
And I was like why can't you talk?
Speaker 1 (43:12):
to these people to say what I talked to my daddy.
It's the same way I talked tomy husband right Whenever I talk
to God Exactly.
When I know a camera is on orsomebody that may be in the
industry.
Even my friends, I had to.
I realized one of my bestfriends.
Her name is Zaynab.
We were on the phone one dayand we were talking she's from
New York, right?
And so we were talking and mydaddy called and I had to click
(43:34):
over and I was like, oh girl,hold on one second.
So I clicked over and I'vetalked to my daddy for a few
minutes and when I came back.
I was myself and she was likehello.
And I was like not even my realfriends know my real voice,
because I had been hiding for solong, right, because I was
trying to fit in out here in LAand I was told you country or
(43:56):
your voice sounds ignorant and Ibelieved that.
Speaker 2 (43:58):
And what's wild is what she know for right.
What she know for right.
You are like an ASMR sound foryour voice.
Speaker 3 (44:06):
My eyes can be closed , I know what the voice is, and
we all wait for that voice onInstagram.
Speaker 1 (44:11):
Well, I'm on Instagram every day, like
they're motivational messagesyeah that's amazing, but that's
not freedom, though.
Speaker 3 (44:17):
What are practical ways?
Because we talk about puttingourselves first, we talk about
finding ourselves, but like whatare the steps?
That is finally like okay, I'vedecided that this is time for
me to do that.
How do I do it?
Speaker 1 (44:29):
I don't think that there's actual steps right,
because I think everybody's lifeis different, but for me,
starting my day with myself,having a little bit of quiet
time whether that is working outin the mornings, having your
prayers in the mornings, butit's just your intimate time
with you and God.
You just have space foryourself, right, so you can also
(44:53):
tackle the day whatever maycome your way right.
Another thing is, which is soimportant is using the word no.
Speaker 3 (45:02):
We don't know how to do that sometimes.
Speaker 1 (45:03):
Yeah, it's hard.
It is work that has to be done,because somebody else's
emergency don't necessarily meanas your words, and sometimes
they think that.
And so you gotta be like oohhoney, I am so sorry, I'm not
even available, yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:20):
And it's okay and people actually accept no's they
do.
Speaker 3 (45:24):
Because we accept people's no's.
Speaker 2 (45:25):
It's like okay, I got it.
Speaker 3 (45:27):
She's like, but for some reason we don't we think
we're supposed to save everybody.
It's a controlled thing too, Ithink.
Speaker 1 (45:34):
But it's also a woman thing right.
It's in us.
We were born with a womb whichmeans we were born to carry, but
it doesn't mean that we carryeverybody else's problems.
But we sure try, we try.
Yeah, the womb is for thembabies.
Yeah, and we gotta carry allthe persons in the world and
everybody's problems.
Speaker 3 (45:51):
We're born with a womb, so that means we're born
to carry Jeez.
I mean just, I mean that's whywe carry a lot.
Speaker 1 (45:58):
We can have so much on us and people may not even
know Right.
Speaker 3 (46:01):
Because we hide at will.
Speaker 1 (46:02):
Yes, Honey a man, you know what he carry.
Speaker 3 (46:05):
Every single time.
Speaker 2 (46:06):
Every stress.
He be like you can see it.
Speaker 1 (46:09):
Every time but we can show up and be looking, alright
, yeah, and they thinkeverything is fine.
Speaker 3 (46:14):
It's like a woman carry a pregnancy for months,
exactly yeah, jesus, yeah, woo,okay.
So what is next?
Like as you continue to grow,as you continue to really go
after your wildest dreams andparent and be a wife what is the
thing for you?
Do you ever also feel like this?
(46:35):
Is it, and I'm good?
Speaker 2 (46:36):
Oh no.
What's your wildest dream?
What's the dream?
Speaker 1 (46:40):
Oh, I have a bunch of them.
You know, I'm nowhere near.
This is I'm good and this is it.
I think I'll be done when Godcalls me.
Speaker 3 (46:47):
There you go.
Speaker 1 (46:50):
But I have a lot of things I wanna do, of course.
I wanna do a talk show, I wannado documentaries.
I want to travel the world andopen our eyes up to different
things.
More film and TV.
I just partnered with Made inLove Media, with Steven Love, so
, you know, with my production.
Do you Believe Making otherpeople's dreams come true?
Speaker 2 (47:12):
Yeah, right, so I have a lot to do.
How has the talk show nothappened yet?
Speaker 1 (47:16):
Right.
Well, I've been off for acouple of times, but I kinda
it's gotta be my way.
Speaker 2 (47:19):
Okay, cause I like I know it's a story.
Speaker 1 (47:22):
Yeah, okay, that makes sense.
You know the timing gotta beright.
So whoever God says it's right,I know it will be.
Speaker 2 (47:28):
Okay.
So that's a good question,Because I think sometimes we get
presented with things that wepray for.
And so we wanna say yes, causewe're like that's what we pray
for.
How do you know to when to sayno to something you pray for,
when it don't feel right?
Yeah, what's that feeling foryou?
Speaker 1 (47:41):
It's a gut, it's a gut feeling.
I call it a gut is the giftunder the tummy, oh you feel
that feeling.
Speaker 3 (47:46):
I've never heard that before and you gonna hear it
all the time, right.
Speaker 1 (47:52):
Wow, I love that.
When you feel that andsomething don't line up, go and
walk away from that.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:58):
Cause I know people ignore it.
Speaker 3 (47:59):
Yeah, I might just be nervous, cause you convince
yourself.
You convince yourself that thisis right.
There's no way to be presentedif it wasn't him.
Speaker 1 (48:06):
Like we make a lot of things make sense, even though
it's Cause you also gottaremember the enemy knows our
dreams too, and so he canpresent his wails.
Speaker 2 (48:13):
Oh, he's good at it too.
He make it look real good yeah.
Speaker 3 (48:16):
Yeah, absolutely.
What's your motivation forinspiring people?
Because I think right now youalso, which is why people call
you auntie and the mom and allthat stuff.
What inspires your, keeps yougoing to, even when you don't
feel like it?
You know what I'm saying,because the motivator doesn't
always want to motivate, theencourager doesn't always want
to encourage, but I feel likeyou have a voice to the person,
(48:40):
the dreamer.
That it's very specific.
What?
What keeps you doing that?
Speaker 1 (48:45):
I feel like it's my assignment Right, even on days
where I don't feel like it.
If God gives me something, thenI give it Right.
So it's purpose for me and Iknow what he's told me to do,
yeah, and so I'm obedient in it,and so freedom keeps me
motivated, like I have thefreedom to deliver a message,
(49:08):
and I also he has.
He has blessed me with thisthing of once I give it, I've
released it and I don't carry itin his car, you know, and so it
doesn't matter what somebodysays about it.
I'm just doing my job as avessel, right, and so that keeps
me motivated, to know I'm.
I am, you know, doing my jobthat he has has blessed me to do
(49:28):
.
So what?
Speaker 2 (49:29):
would you say to a mom she's married or not married
, she has kids, she's working,and she had all these dreams and
she thinks that they're notpossible now Cause she's just
got this full plate and I'mgetting older and my kids need
me.
Like what would you tell her?
Speaker 1 (49:45):
I would say if you think that you can't, you can't,
but if you think that you can't, you can't.
Speaker 3 (49:53):
Jesus.
Speaker 1 (49:55):
Drop the excuses.
Listen either way, you right Ifyou say you can't, you can't.
If you say you can't, you can't, but either way you right.
Either way you right, so chooseyour right.
Yeah, you make the decision,yeah.
Speaker 3 (50:11):
How you gonna lie to yourself today.
Oh yeah, we not playing.
I mean, I'm telling you, it'sjust.
I am so grateful that we havebeen able to have these types of
conversations because it's soeasy to have the light and
fluffy right, it's so easy toencourage and it sounds so good.
But it's also very hard whensomebody is so deep down and
(50:34):
they have convinced themselvesthat really, this is it.
But it takes a certain amountof like you gotta pull yourself
up off, you know, by yourbootstraps and I think this
season is doing that especiallyfrom people like you that are
saying no, you gotta you, it'sgotta be you that wants it.
Like it's gotta be you that'sgotta tell you that you could do
(50:57):
it.
Speaker 2 (50:57):
Otherwise, you have to stop encouraging people into
complacency.
Like sometimes your friendswill be like okay, it makes
sense, like, yeah, your life ishard, it is okay.
You have to have those peoplethat say like so, so.
Speaker 1 (51:08):
Yeah, like, if you want it, you want it.
Speaker 2 (51:10):
You figure anything you care about.
Speaker 1 (51:12):
you'll figure it out and I think the most important
thing is not to put a time limiton your dreams, right?
I'm about to be 45.
So things just startedhappening for me.
You're really at the 40 mark.
My late 30s is when lifestarted to like really open up
in a new way for me, and I'mjust still getting started.
(51:33):
No matter how much I'veaccomplished, every day I'm like
, oh, this is a new day.
I'm just getting you know,getting started.
So I think you can raise yourkids, you can be this great mom,
but you can also do one smallthing every day towards your
dream.
Speaker 2 (51:46):
Right.
Speaker 1 (51:47):
It ain't gotta be something massive.
You can do one small thing,cause those kids, like I said,
they gonna grow up, they gonnabe going living their life, and
then what do you have?
Right, but you still have youin the process.
So you need to make sure youtake care and nurture your
dreams as well In the, you know,while you're on the journey of
being a mom and a wife orwhatever.
So, yeah, that's good.
Speaker 2 (52:06):
So I'm going to ask you one last question.
Oh, all, right, girl, okay, sowhat do you think moms actually
need to hear?
Speaker 1 (52:15):
Oh, you're doing a great job.
Speaker 2 (52:17):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (52:18):
You're doing a great job and you can do it your way,
and it's all right.
Speaker 2 (52:21):
Yeah, do it your way, your way yeah.
Speaker 3 (52:24):
That's good Cause.
We, we expose you.
We try to do it everybodyelse's way.
Yeah, you can do it your way.
Speaker 1 (52:31):
And the most important thing to remember is
you can do it different.
You can do it different, youdon't have to do it the way that
your mama did it, your grandmadid it, your friends do it.
You can do it different.
Speaker 3 (52:42):
Yeah, yeah, that's probably the best thing I
learned.
Speaker 2 (52:45):
Like my sister-in-law had kids before me and I'd
never seen anybody raise kidsthe way she does.
Like you know, her life and hermarriage came first and I was
like, oh, I can do that, Causemy mom sacrificed a lot, Like
she never had any sick days, anypersonal cause, it was all
dedicated to me.
And I'm like, oh, you, just youout living your life and you
got some help.
You can, you can.
(53:05):
You can like have help and notfeel ashamed about it and I was
like, oh okay, absolutely, youcan Honey.
Speaker 1 (53:11):
That's your village, honey, you want to create it and
that's also your business.
Speaker 3 (53:15):
Yes, yeah, wow, thank you so much.
Yes, thank you.
Thank you for talking with us.
You're coming on.
Yes, I appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (53:21):
Thank you for your yes.
Yes, it means the world to us.
It really does.
I appreciate y'all.
Speaker 1 (53:27):
You're the best Y'all are amazing Wow thank you, you
are amazing, you are amazing.
Speaker 3 (53:31):
I'm like us.
Speaker 1 (53:33):
Yes, they're amazing.
Y'all make sure y'all subscribeand things okay.
Yes, please, should I end it onin my video?
Speaker 3 (53:39):
Oh yes.
Speaker 1 (53:40):
Yes, please Well, be ever good.
We thank y'all for watching Allright, and until the next time
y'all going by at your businesshave the most amazing day.
But even if you can't have agood one, don't you dare come
edit out nobody else's slime.
Love y'all.
God bless you.
Speaker 3 (53:54):
Hey moisturization, hey moisturization, hosa, hosa,
hosa, hosa.
You know my is the crazy.
Yeah, he's like look, you mighthear us again, but you ain't
going to have to.
Speaker 3 (00:04):
Oh, you might hear us again, but you know what's up,
what's up, what's up, hey Mom,what's up, hey Mom, what's up,
hey Mom, what's up, what's up,hey Mom, what's up?
Welcome to Moms.
Actually, I am Morgan, I'mBlair and y'all the I know Y'all
.
We have Auntie the Auntie andhave the brown hair.
(00:30):
Oh my goodness, I am justcrawling in my skin right now.
I just literally cannot believeit, but I am so grateful that
you are here.
We are so grateful that you arehere, so grateful, and that you
are joining us on the couch.
We told y'all we had a treatfor you guys and did we deliver?
Speaker 2 (00:46):
or what we delivered.
Yes, you've been waiting forthis.
Yes, didn't even know you werewaiting for it, but yes we've
been waiting for this.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
But, yes, we are so excited to have you here.
Thank you so much for justjoining us.
You guys know, if you don'tknow, we are about to get into
some really, really goodconversation.
But before we start, we aregoing to give you a moment.
This is your moment, right now,to subscribe.
So we're just going to give youone little second.
Press the button.
All right, ok, so thank you somuch for joining us.
(01:14):
Before we get started into thenitty gritty of the conversation
, we'd like to play a littlegame.
Oh, OK.
Ok, Blair, can you take us inon the game?
Speaker 2 (01:21):
So we're going to play a little game.
You've seen it unless you'renew, it's giving motherhood yeah
.
That is why we have these funlittle paddles, and so gold
means yes, or it's the firstanswer or first option, and then
white means no, or it's thesecond option, because we're
going to do some yes or no andsome either.
Or yes, no, no, maybe.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
So, yeah, all that, all that, ok, we're going to
figure it out.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
So the first question are you ready?
All right, ok so yes, I'm ready, good guess, very good.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
She's like that was the first question, right.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Is having it all unrealistic.
I'm going to say yes becauseit's like a technicality.
I guess it's like what's theall?
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Yeah, All Right.
Well, I think that well, she'slike yeah.
Because all is what wedetermine.
Yes, right.
So to me, if we have life andwe have health and all the
things, whatever we perceive asall is all.
So I think, if we don't look atsomebody else's definition of
(02:27):
all, we always have it all.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
I can agree if we're going from that definition.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
That's why I?
Speaker 3 (02:31):
say no, because I'm like what's all to me, yeah, and
whatever is all to me is what Ihave, and it's not unrealistic.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
I'm like if you say all or none, like in an argument
or something.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
You're like black or white.
No gray, you're automaticallywrong, like because it just
never is.
Yes, ok, I'll go with that, ok,ok, do you think today's moms
face more challenges thanprevious generations?
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Yes, I say yes.
Oh, we've talked about thisbefore.
Speaker 3 (02:59):
I'm like I'm in the middle, I'm in the middle.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
I am.
I say yes because of socialmedia, but then like no, because
we don't have milk cows.
Like how far in the generationsare we going?
Like you know, there was just alot more that had to figure out
without technology.
So I'm like you can go harderfrom that.
You were like kind of lonely ortwo, Like it just depends on
(03:25):
what we're saying is thegeneration like the 1800s, the
1910s, the 1980s.
But I feel like social mediamakes it much harder as well.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Yeah, I think more access creates more challenges.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
Yeah, yeah, I would say the same thing.
That's why I'm kind of in themiddle, because we have just so
much exposure where we're like,ah, I'm not doing that, and kind
of what you were saying acouple episodes ago everything
is either right or wrong.
For a second it's like this isthe best way, and then it's like
, oh, studies show that actuallythat's awful way.
So it's like between that andthen.
(03:57):
But the previous generationsthey kept everything in.
Yeah, everything was.
We got to be strong, we got to.
You know we're talking more now.
So they didn't have an outletfor real to be able to say, no,
I'm not OK.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Yeah, this is true, yeah so both.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Have your kids ever walked in on you?
No, yes, my mother was walking.
She don't remember it.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Ooh that is very awkward.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Yeah, that was pretty weird, she was only two, yeah,
and we stopped instantly and waslike we're wrestling.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
Did y'all do it?
Did y'all do it?
You were like I don't like therest, I didn't get to do it.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
I don't like it.
I don't like it.
We just playing.
We don't like it either we justplaying oh my goodness, years
later, when she was like 14 or15, she heard us yeah, and she
was upset about it.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
So how do you have?
You had already had like thetalk.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Oh yeah, we had had the talk, yeah, many times.
Right, the talk is aconversation.
Yeah, ok, that's good, I lovethat.
You know she was in high school, but then she had an attitude
about it.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
So when she did.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
he took her to school that morning.
He was like, because we didn'tknow she had heard us, and so he
took her to school that morning.
And when he came home or hecalled me, he was like hey, I
think Choyce might have heard uslast night.
I said, well, he was like shehad a little attitude this
morning.
Nothing that he could say Likeshe wanted to have no
conversation, and so when wepicked her up, she still had an
attitude, and so I was like, oh,now we got to have a
(05:35):
conversation.
And so Chance who was, you know, my husband crazy.
He was like look you might hearus again, but you ain't got no
attitude at all.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
You might hear us again, but you know about that.
And she broke up with me.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
You know, we had a very small house up there.
And it's like you know.
We can understand your, yourthoughts, your emotion behind it
, but the reality is yourparents love each other and this
is also how you got here.
You also know what it is right,but we respectfully always try
(06:07):
to make sure you don't hear it.
And this is like the first timein your whole 14 years of life.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
It's not pretty good.
She don't remember when she wastwo.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
I didn't tell yeah, and so we worked really hard on
making sure she was comfortable.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
I like that you said that word, like respectfully.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
You still like, even though we're adults, even though
is our house all that, we stilltry to make sure you know
Absolutely, because you alsodon't want your children to have
trauma, because yeah, I'm likeit's weird.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
I'm like it's weird, but you should be happy, your
parents getting that all.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
Yeah, they love each other.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Even to this day.
She's 22 now.
She'd be like if we hugged.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
I can't believe she's 22.
Oh my God, y'all are sodisgusted.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
She got some flashbacks She'd be, like uh,
I'm out of here, yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
That's crazy.
She grown, yeah, but just theother day, oh yeah, that was the
first time For yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
I mean, y'all left four just yeah, so you were more
than person.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
Yeah, it seemed like it should have been the day yeah
, cause we don't typically needmorning stuff.
But it just was that day, oh,okay, but he you know, he went
right back out.
He didn't know.
He didn't know cause it stopped.
And then my husband was likeall right, son, go back in your
room, which usually he'll evensay that even when we're not
doing anything, cause we try tokeep a limit on, or a timeframe
(07:18):
on, when he can actually come inin the morning.
So he just knew to close thedoor and go back.
Oh good, it was pretty chill,but I was like wow, that was
close, woo, um, okay, me next.
So do you think parenting getseasier as kids get older?
Speaker 2 (07:35):
I'm gonna give a whole big old fat no.
I'm gonna say no.
I have younger kids, but I feellike everything's conceptual
with younger kids.
That's why all the advice Igive and I'm like but my kids
six and four, so you know wedon't see if it actually turns
yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
It's definitely a no.
Yeah.
So yeah, clearly, I don't thinkI realized how easy.
You know, baby stage was hot,live stage.
You know even elementary schoolall that.
It was so much easier, honey,trying to parent adults and
teenagers.
Baby, I'm lucky to be here,yeah, but it's also like now you
(08:12):
, you're never not parentingRight.
You have to adjust.
You know cause when you have,you know, teenagers, which is a
very tough stage because youdon't want to treat your
children like babies, but youalso don't want to treat them
like adults yet, right.
So you got to find the mediumright.
And every child is different.
You don't realize that untilthey start getting their own
(08:34):
personalities and as theycontinue to grow, it's
definitely harder as they growup.
And then you worry for the restof your life.
You be like I ain't gonna worryabout it, but as a parent, you
always got something in the backof your head.
Like you know, my daughter,nancy, moved to Houston.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
And she not.
I can't reach her like I usedto be.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
I can't imagine I'm about to touch her.
It's a lot different.
Yeah, I cannot imagine whenyour kids are just in the wild
every day, yeah, yeah, and theydon't even come back home Like
they just yeah, every day Living, yeah, just holiday.
Oh, we did it too.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
Call your mom after this.
Right, yeah, right, it's justhard.
My daughter's 11.
So I'm in the that stage oflike, oh, it's coming, yeah, no
it's here, oh it's here.
I'm like, ah, is she sixthgrade?
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Yes, oh it's like the first transition.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
Yes, so she is literally in that first
transition of you know, figuringout, like, oh, I have options,
people are trying to influenceme, all the things, and I'm like
okay, and of course, like yousaid, you got to let them figure
it out.
And they also have now theirown thoughts, their own desires,
all that stuff.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
But Whew, it's a lot.
And then you got to remain open.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
Right.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
So that they can still trust you.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
And that comes to you Right.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
And so, even when the parent inside of you want to be
like, no, do you need to dothis one.
Yep, you can't.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
You got to adjust.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
It's easy when they like.
You want it too Exactly, andit's like that's what I said,
Right.
But now when?
Speaker 1 (10:03):
they, you know it, you know, really are independent
and thinking on their own.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
You got to give them that freedom.
Noble already says, like youknow, no one can.
You can tell me what to do, butno one can make me do anything
Right.
And I'm like I'm already atthat stage and I'm like she's
six.
And I'm like you're right, Ican't make you do anything but.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
That's because we talked to her that way too, I
know it.
It's like, it's like it works.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
I'm like I don't need to get it right there.
You need to figure that out.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Yeah, I'll do that a little later.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Because, sometimes I do need to, you need to feel
like you have to, you have to.
But God, god, yeah, they firedon me.
Yeah, you did.
Okay, so you'd rather take aEat, pray, love solo trip or a
10 day cruise with your family?
Oh, oh, that ain't a yes or ano.
First option.
(10:52):
First option Eat Pray Love.
Okay, got you, or 10 day cruise.
Speaker 3 (10:56):
Whew, that's actually .
I thought I knew the answer,but that's actually kind of hard
.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
I mean, I want to go with the family and then after
I'm gonna need that solo she'slike both.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
That's good.
That's good, because how longis the Eat, pray, love trip?
Speaker 2 (11:10):
what we say.
I mean, let's say I feel likeJulia Roberts was going for
about four months.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
Ooh.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Let's say 10 days, 10 days, 10 days.
Yeah, let's do a 10 to 10.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
Yeah, I'm gonna go with Tab's answer Because I need
the family trip, because Idon't really like doing solo too
much by myself.
You know, especially traveling,but I've never traveled by
myself before, yeah, so yeah,yeah, I don't like that.
But 10 day on a cruise, I'venever been on a cruise, because
that feels weird.
The cruise was surprising.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
I thought I would hate it.
It was not that bad.
Yeah, I enjoyed it.
Like if you get on a nice one,like it just looks it's a
floating beauty, Like it's abeautiful.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
It's like a floating Vegas.
Yeah, floating Vegas.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Okay.
Okay, the rooms can sometimesbe a bit tight depending on
where you're.
Good, but a cruise actually,and then they do the stuff.
Speaker 3 (11:56):
I think the cruise, yeah, and I'm gonna bring Sophie
going on a trip with us Becauseshe's like bring the nanny, the
kids will be here, but, mm,okay, yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Dad, I think I would do the cruise.
I feel like my house is my EatPray Love, like I get a lot of,
like I make those moments.
So, yeah, I would do the familycruise.
I'm actually very surprised,right now.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
I'm shocked.
I'm shocked.
When does the mom sleep?
Sleep when the baby sleeps orwhenever it just happens?
Speaker 1 (12:24):
If the mom doesn't sleep Well, we definitely should
sleep when the baby's asleep.
When you're, you know peoplesay that all the time.
But reality is baby, it just behappening.
Yeah, right, it just behappening.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
Yes, it's hard because sometimes when the baby
sleeps, it's like that's when Iwanna do, something I wanna do
Even though I'm tired, and thatdoesn't stop after the newborn
stage.
That's still the kids Like I'm,like I am so tired, but I wanna
sit up and watch a show or, youknow, catch up on.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
I feel like the first two weeks you can kinda adapt
it.
After that it's like oh, now Igotta get some stuff.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
Figure it out.
Yeah, okay, first two weeks.
Y'all hear that.
First two weeks.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Well, toddler stage, or teenagers.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
Toddlers.
We just went over there, yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
I miss that stage.
It's my idea.
They're fine.
They love you more yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
I'm like, I'm not a baby person, I'm a toddler
person.
I love toddlers.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
Even when they're having their tantrums, all the
things.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
So I'm like it's the cutest thing Teenagers Woo.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
Bless some Jesus.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Yeah, y'all are Bless some door.
I remember being a teenager.
I apologize to my parentsBecause how old is your son now.
He's 11.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
So he got you.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
But you know, boys are different, yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:37):
Yeah, he's still my baby.
I was gonna say so.
He's probably just two years.
You did the whole girl thingand now you're doing the boy.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
Yeah, he said he never gonna leave me nor forsake
me.
Oh.
That's my son right there.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
I've been practicing my son saying that too, I'm like
promise mommy, you won't growup.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
He said well, I can't , I can't really promise you
that.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
But I'm gonna be here .
Speaker 1 (13:57):
That's my baby.
Oh, I love that.
Boys love they, moms, they do.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
Is it me?
Yes?
Do you believe that genderreveals are overrated?
Yes or no?
Speaker 1 (14:10):
I'm gonna say no just because I think if people wanna
do that, that's their business,you know they wanna be excited
about it and make it a thing.
It wasn't a thing when I youknow Me, neither you know, but
I'd be wishing I could have alittle fun moment too.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
But listen, I think whatever people wanna do to
excite themselves or have acelebration baby, you do that.
That's your business.
Speaker 3 (14:32):
Yes, I agree.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Yeah, I think it's cute.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
But, like I said, if you know what sex you want to
have, just don't do it.
Unless you already know andyou're surprising everybody else
because seeing those peopleupset at their gym.
Speaker 3 (14:43):
Yeah that's no fun.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
And then the next 20 weeks or if they people find out
early early now, Like do youimagine a whole?
Pregnancy being mad.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
Sad upset and then your child has to see that later
, exactly If you'd be a mad toget coming.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
What happened was oh, you didn't want me.
Yeah, I waited till birth tofind out, because I really
wanted a boy.
Yes, and I had a girl, but Ididn't have any time to feel any
way, but the baby's here, so Iavoided 20 weeks of
disappointment.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
I wanted if we did it one more time.
That's what I wanted to do justwait and see what the surprise
was.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Oh yeah, because you got the girl, you got the boy.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
But we, the shop is closed, shop is closed, so we
won't be doing that.
You don't know, people getsurprised.
No man, no, we kept and snipped.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
Yeah, okay, okay, okay, there we go.
No surprises, no surprises.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
I mean it's we're on the great heat doing that.
Okay, Well, that was great.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
Thank you so much for playing.
It's giving motherhood Now.
Let's just dive into theconversation Now.
You are known for a plethora ofthings.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
Oh, plethora.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Yeah, plethora of things.
You have a long list, but isthere anything that you don't
normally get to talk about thatyou're like?
You know what?
I wish they would see this sideof tab more.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
No, I'll be talking about everything.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
You do, yeah, you do your open book.
I feel like, yeah, I'm openbook.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Yeah, I'm open to whatever you want to talk about.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
What is the first time you you heard of Tabitha?
What was your first likeTabitha experience?
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Oh man, Um, I mean, it's been so many things, I
would say probably all the thecooking recipes.
So I was like ooh, you can makebacon like this.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
That was my yeah, like that was my first one.
I was like, yeah, he just madecarrots into meat.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
And it looked good, but yeah, yes, yes, yes, because
I love that very much, so I'malways following people, that,
so I think I followed you forthat.
And then I was like, oh, andshe loves the Lord.
And she got like some reallygood inspiration and then you
came out with all the snacks andyou just kept growing and I
love seeing people's journeys.
(16:50):
So you know you follow somebody, but you made me stick around.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
Yeah, that's, true I appreciate you sticking around.
Yes, yeah.
So how has it been?
Because it hasn't been thatlong.
Really, it's like you workedvery long and hard to become an
overnight success right 24 yearsinstead of 20.
Wow.
But people, you know when youpop up, that's when they think
you've appeared like oh we justshe went viral once and you know
showed up or what have you.
(17:15):
So how have the last few yearslike being compared to you know
the work that got you to thethis version of fruit.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
It's been amazing.
Yeah, right, the first.
You know it started.
I started doing videos andcontent in 2017 and had my first
viral moment December 30th of2017.
So 2018 is really when it tookoff.
A lot of people didn't find meinto 2020 on like TikTok when
that came about, but my firstyou know moment was 2018, in
(17:45):
January and I got my first likeWhole Foods campaign right from
that video and that was the carand the car when the sandwich
and the TCLA and it just kind oftook off from there and it was
very Different from me because Ihad never did like content and
(18:05):
social media.
That's a new world for me.
You know I'm a trained actressand, yes, um had been working
like in corporate America 95 orI pursue my dreams out here in
LA, and so I was like, wait, Ican make money on the internet.
Jesus, I didn't know this.
Yes, so just learning that, andI kind of stepped away from
acting for like those first twoyears because I was doing so
(18:26):
much you know, content andtraveling and speaking to people
, and it was, I didn't evenrealize I wasn't doing my acting
stuff.
Wow, hey you know, god had, justlike he kind of put me in this,
this safety zone.
He was like I'm gonna developsome something different inside
of you.
Put these next two years, and Iallowed it and I was like, okay
, lord, I'm open to whatever youwant me to do, and so it's.
(18:47):
It's been an amazing journey.
I'm very grateful.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
Yes, I love that.
It sounds almost like you hadto surrender a little bit.
Oh, absolutely, um, and I thinkwe hear a lot of times from
moms they're like In that seat,that safety zone, but they don't
know they're in the safety zone, oh right, what are the signs
that you're like right there andyou just need to surrender for
God to do what he's supposed todo?
Speaker 1 (19:11):
For me, the sign is when everything that you've
tried is not working.
Right Now, I got to be obedientand let God open the doors and
let him make the moves for me,and I continue to follow you
know and and walk in those steps.
But if everything that you'retrying, you just feel like I'm
not in control anymore, yeah,this is the time when you know.
Okay, I got to let him be incontrol and surrender, be
(19:32):
obedient.
That's.
That's kind of the sign for me.
That's what it was.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Okay, you know I can imagine you.
I mean, you work so hardtowards becoming an actress and,
like this Career path thatdidn't even exist.
So it's like right now I'mdoing this, like, how did you
adjust, like to the changes so,from your everyday life To now,
all of this attention and it'slike you're working to?
(19:57):
If you were an actress, youwould have got all the attention
too.
But, like, how did it feel to,like, get out into the public
spotlight, have everybody'sopinions on you, like, literally
overnight, have such a changeto your lifestyle?
Speaker 1 (20:09):
um, you know, it never really felt, and this is,
you know, I've answered thisbefore.
In a way it felt normal for me.
I love that.
It felt very normal.
I love and I've told the storybefore For years pursuing acting
.
You know, it didn't matter therole was paying me $50 or if I
was doing it for free.
(20:30):
It could be a short film or amajor you know, a feature film,
a commercial, a music video, itdidn't matter what it was.
I will come home and tell myhusband oh, this is it.
This is I would be so excited.
Oh, my god, this is it, honey,we're gonna go to the film
festival, like all these thingsI would be like just over
excited about.
And when these things startedto happen in this new career
(20:50):
path, I was making money, thingswere really had people work,
knowing who I was, and I wasvery calm about it and my
husband was like, hey, listen,you know when for years you
would come home and nothing wasreally happening.
But yeah, so excited and youbelieve that it was.
He was like and now that thingsare really happening, we really
are, you know you really makingmoney like and success has come
(21:12):
.
You're very calm.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
He was like so what, what is it?
That's kind of like you know.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
Yeah, and I was like, oh, because you know, before my
, my spirit and my flesh was notin alignment.
So while my flesh was like, oh,my god, my spirit was like,
girl, no, you got to keep going.
But now I'm all in alignment,yeah, so I feel balanced, yeah,
and I'm very grateful.
So it's a different energy.
I'm super excited all the time,yeah, but it feels very much so
(21:37):
like, oh, I'm at home, it'slike a kairos moment, mm-hmm.
It's just very feels, verynormal, like, oh, this is what
got it into the film.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
Yeah, I was gonna say so.
You're not surprised by whereyou're at now.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
I'm I wouldn't say surprised, because I would
always dream and see things.
I never imagined it to be theway it is.
I always knew something wascoming, but I'm very like, oh
God, this is it this is amazing,yeah, but not just it.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
Because you actually get to.
It's funny, you do all thistime to become an actress,
playing other people, otherparts, and you get to be this,
being yourself, be tailed.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Yeah, it's not wild, it's amazing.
Speaker 3 (22:14):
But then you still get to use that.
Now I was going to say you stillget to do your acting, so it's
like nothing is wasted, all thethings that you still.
It all comes back around, butit's because you were obedient,
absolutely.
Wow.
Now you have, in the midst ofall this, you have children.
So how has that been?
Because I can only imagine, asyou continue to get bigger, as
(22:37):
you continue to get more rolesand things like that, your kids
don't go anywhere.
They still need you, they stillneed mom, and you're America's
mom right now, but they're likebut nah, you my mom.
So what's going on?
So how has that been?
Just kind of balancing all thatand we have a fun, because she
(22:58):
doesn't believe in balance atall, and I'm like there's
rhythms.
So what's your take?
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Well, for me, I am mama first, right, I'm family
first.
That's just how I live my life.
Everything else is just thebonus, right?
My kids?
It's so funny.
Yesterday we was at a fashionshow and people come up and I
was with my daughter.
They want to take pictures andall the things she was like.
I'll be forgetting you, babe,because at home I'm just mama.
(23:25):
Yeah, right, so it's no.
Oh, my god, this is my mom.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
It's like no, this mama.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
And so I just stay true to who I am.
You know, when I go out I'mstill tan, but at home it's just
I'm mama.
So my kids don't they know?
Oh, my mom is.
You know, it's half the brand,but that's just like my name.
Yeah, right.
So my son?
(23:51):
He's younger, which is so funny.
He will be out and he'll belike, oh, these are your things.
You know he'll be like, oh, okTo him at a very early age, when
things really started happeningin the last couple of years, if
you were successful, becauseyou know their generation
watched YouTube, yes, and theYouTubers would have the Model X
(24:12):
Tesla with the doors to go up.
That's how he like measuredsuccess.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
And he was like but I didn't have that, oh, so you
ain't really, you're not reallyfamous man.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
Man, the doors right.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
And so I was like but what if mommy just don't?
Want that, but he's like yeah,but the YouTubers, that's what
they do when you've got money,that's what you do?
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Do you have to get a car to show your son?
No, I still ain't got that over.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
I'm like oh, he's like but mom, but that's kind of
like his way like, oh, mom, youain't made it yet, yeah so he's
still like yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
But it's still just mama.
Speaker 3 (24:46):
I love that, so yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
Besides like having a son and a daughter, what's been
the biggest difference inraising them?
Because you raised yourdaughter during a different era
of your life and now you'reraising your son during you know
, he's more present for this eraof your life.
So what's been the biggestdifference?
Speaker 1 (25:01):
The biggest difference is patience.
Right, I'm older, right, so Ialso suffered loss and hardship
and all that with my daughter,and it also taught me to be more
present, not to be in a rushfor them to grow up, to hold on
to each moment when you can,because you can look up tomorrow
(25:24):
and it's gone, right.
So being more patient, beingmore understanding.
Also, I think the biggestlesson was that they are not the
same right, I'm also not thesame and giving grace more for
myself, right, and extendingthat to the children.
(25:45):
But also we don't have thestresses that we had with my
daughter.
We was broke for a long time.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
She's like cool, you know same plane and you know
choice.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
We moved around a lot you know from apartments, you
know houses renting, trying tofind you know, better schools
and all the things.
So she moved a lot where my sonhas only, you know, had like
two or three, but he's alwayshad homes right and so I used to
kind of carry that like almostas a guilt for my daughter and
she was like mommy, I thought itwas fun.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
You know we were moving out.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
I was like, oh, I got a new room, but I grew up in
the same house my whole life,right, and so it was my own
internal thing, but, yeah, beingable to give him things that we
could not give her, you know,when it comes to like education
and more opportunities, thingslike that.
(26:43):
But even with being able to dothat, she had so much more when
it comes to, I guess, like, likethe like, not street knowledge,
but you know, like over, weknow you can be all right, yeah
exactly With him we'd be like oh.
Jesus.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
Is he gonna be all right, you know, yeah, yeah,
cause he's like he's gonna takecare of himself out there.
Like choice would be, like no,give you a buck.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
Yeah he's like I don't think we should really.
You know, mommy, I don't know,you know, right.
So I'm like oh Jesus, what havewe done to the child?
Speaker 2 (27:14):
right, you gotta just throw him out somewhere, yeah,
cause he gonna survive out heresoon yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
But yeah, I think that's the difference.
But the core of who we are hasalways been the same.
But, as you know, as you growand you age and things shift, of
course we have to shift andchange as well.
Speaker 3 (27:32):
So, but yeah, Is there a way or a strategy that
you have to staff your life, Tostaff my life.
What do you mean?
Like your village and how youget, because we can't do any of
this alone.
So how?
What are that?
Because we hear it all the time.
They're like well, how do youalways say sisterhood and
(27:52):
village, but like, how do you dothat?
How do I meet these people?
How do I even decide thatthere's the right people to have
in my village?
So, do you have a village andhow have you?
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Oh yeah, absolutely.
We have a village here and,like, as we moved in, we didn't
know nobody Right?
So over the years, when I wasin acting class, when we first
moved out here, I was, you know,we got married.
You know, my husband was 25years, so I was the only one in
class that had a baby and whowas married, yeah, and so I
would invite everybody over tomy apartment.
Well, okay, we would haveSunday dinners, and so I would
(28:25):
cook, and I won't be gettingback being but we just cookin'
you know, play games andeverything in the village just
continue to grow over the years.
And, of course, when I had myson, it's like everybody showed
up Right, and so now, as successcomes in and freedom comes, the
circle actually has gottensmaller.
Yeah, I agree.
(28:47):
Yeah, it gets smaller, but itshould, right, and I had said
this recently.
Sometimes it has to get smallerso we can get bigger, and so,
with that, I know the people Ihave now I can truly trust right
.
And then of course, you knowyou hire people to with your
team.
But when it comes to my family,though, it's like you got to be
family, to be in the family.
Speaker 3 (29:06):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
Absolutely yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
But I do we be mom and daddy.
Speaker 3 (29:12):
Yeah, we still going to drop you off at school and
pick you up and do the things,yeah, okay, one of the things I
love that you said is that youopen your doors, like to the
people to come in, and I think alot of us.
We're always waiting forsomebody to open the door to us
and that's why we, you know,we're like, oh, no one invited
me and no one, but we're like,okay, well, you can open the
door.
So that actually spoke to me,because I've been in my new
(29:34):
state for a little over a yearnow and sometimes I'm like, tag,
I wish I had this or, you know,I missed that family moment.
But I'm like I could createthat, like I could open my doors
.
And you know, I don't have towait to have this big house with
all the space, but I could justuse what I have.
So that's the little tip rightthere Little side bars, just
(29:55):
open your door.
Don't wait for everybody to youknow, open their door to you,
but you let the people come in.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
Of course, use the sermon, but yeah, oh yeah, okay
yeah, just turn it.
Speaker 3 (30:03):
Everybody's like yes, yes, it's funny we were doing a
lot more things like back then.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
That probably wild style now, yeah, we let our like
.
I was out in the wild without acell phone as a child.
Yeah, yeah, like that's kind ofgrimy, riding bikes all through
the woods going here, there.
Speaker 3 (30:19):
Yeah, never let my kids do that now Taking a whole
bus to school at five years old.
Yeah, all by myself yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
It's crazy.
I live in a great neighborhoodand I wouldn't let my kids play
outside by themselves.
I don't know, maybe I coddle toomuch, but yeah, so I have a
question.
So you know Michelle Obamatalked about being married to
President Obama.
Do we still call him that?
Yeah, president, and how?
There's time periods, you know,she like, I like him for a
whole decade.
So like how do you get through25 years of marriage With all
(30:49):
the changes, all the kids, allthe things like, because it's
not the same marriage that youhad in your one year, five, 10
years?
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (30:57):
I think that it's important to know in marriage
and relationships you are goingto change both of you Right, and
so you got to be open to thechange.
There's absolutely thosemoments.
I understood Michelle.
Anybody who'd been married fora long time understood what she
was saying.
Yeah, I haven't had like 10consecutive years.
Speaker 3 (31:16):
That's a long time I'm not liking somebody, right.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
But we, both of us have had times when I'm like,
yeah, lord, have mercy, I can'tstand.
Speaker 3 (31:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
But, we love you know , by default.
That's why we all have heartsright.
But that doesn't necessarilymean we're going to like a
season that you're in.
Yeah, sometimes I don't like me.
Thank you, right.
That could be a season that Iain't really fooling with me.
Right now, of course, I ain'teven got the capacity to fool
with you.
That makes sense, right so.
But I also know that a lot oftimes it has to do with
(31:46):
self-work, mm-hmm.
If we ain't gonna do the workon ourself, we can't hold our
partner responsible for ourhappiness.
Right a lot of people do, and alot of people do so.
Honesty, being transparent,having uncomfortable
conversations, sometimes beingquiet, mm-hmm, right, these are
the things that help you getthrough 25 years, but the growth
(32:09):
and understanding the growthand the changes is the things
that truly will get you throughit.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
Right, because I'm like you know people.
Either we either think peopledivorce too fast or separate too
fast or like, oh no, people aretogether because they put up
with a lot of crap and Iwouldn't do that.
So it's like because people arelike I wouldn't want my
grandparents' marriage becauseit wasn't this Right.
So I guess, how do you knowwhat's worth working through?
Speaker 1 (32:35):
Well, I think that the first place that we go wrong
is comparing our marriages.
Mm-hmm Right, Like you know,when people say I don't want my
grandparents' marriage, well,you should, you should want your
.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
I would talk about that.
You should want your sister'smarriage.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
You shouldn't want your friend's marriage.
You should want your marriage,yeah.
You should want your marriage.
Yeah, and your marriage isgonna be different than anybody
else's right, because what y'alldo in your house is y'all
business Right.
So I am a firm believer in notincluding a lot of folk in your
covenant right.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
So like this is.
There's certain things whereyou do need to talk to somebody
and say, let me run somebody,how do you feel?
But how they feel should neveroutweigh how you feel.
Right.
You shouldn't be so influencedby what somebody else tells you
about your own marriage and somaking the decisions that work
for you, and I think thatsometimes you can be in a
relationship and one of y'allmay not want it to work anymore.
(33:27):
Y'all might be ready to throwthe towel in, but the other
person is like no, I still feellike we can work on this.
The moment comes where y'allboth in the same like for a long
season of I don't want to dothis no more.
Then there's something likewell, let's talk about it.
Neither of us really want to dothis anymore.
Let's unpack why and see if wehave valid reason for us not to
do this anymore.
(33:48):
Right, but if you don't havevalid reason, then that means
okay, we still got some work todo.
But I think it's to each hisown.
You know, in a relationship Idon't think there's one thing,
because some people can handlecertain things and some people
can't.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
Oh for sure Some people will be like, oh wait, he
wore black.
Yeah, I know someone a reason,someone divorced and it was like
I was like y'all can work withthis.
Yeah, I think her husband likelooked at pornography or
something and she felt like thatwas cheating and they divorced
over that.
Oh God bless her.
I was like, wow, can I neverget married to you?
I was like, can I that's?
Speaker 1 (34:17):
right.
I was like I'll switch.
This is yeah, but that's how itis.
Yeah, right, Exactly.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
Like you said, you can't compare.
But wow, yeah, yeah, yeah,absolutely.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
God bless you.
Everybody got their own reason.
Speaker 3 (34:34):
Even with life and we're talking about you know,
relationships and stuff likethat, but motherhood and
marriage, that's a whole thingin itself.
Like you have your life, yourlifestyle, all the things,
success, passions, all thathappening, but marriage and
motherhood together.
What is that?
How do you prioritize yourmarriage over your kids?
(34:58):
Do you believe that's a thing?
What is that like?
Speaker 1 (35:02):
So when we first had choice right, we were young, we
hadn't got married yet she was aflower girl, so it was all
about her for me.
You know, I'm a young mom andI'm trying to figure this out,
and it was really a tough timefor my husband because he was
(35:22):
like dang.
I feel like you just forgot allabout me right.
And I'm like I got this baby youknow, I'm breastfeeding on
demand, I'm pumping, I'm alsogoing to work and I was so
focused on being a good mom thathe had become like kind of
second in that moment.
But then, after getting marriedand going years and years, they
both took priority over me.
(35:43):
Right, I was whatever theyneeded I was doing.
And when I had my son, we hadbeen together for a long time
then and I realized by then Iknew, oh, marriage is first.
My husband comes even beforethe children, but I had to come
before him yeah.
(36:04):
But it took me a long time toget that.
And so now I know right in thelast six years I call it my
freedom walk I come first right,then I make sure he good and
then the children.
Speaker 2 (36:17):
Right.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
That's how I operate and most times he and I are with
, so on the same page when itcomes to the kids.
That it's easy to navigate that, but you know everybody's a
little different.
But if you truly believe inyour marriage, right, you
understand that it has to comefirst.
Right, it has to come beforeyour mom and daddy and for your
(36:38):
children.
Because a lot of times parentsbe so attached to their children
even though they've beenmarried for a long time they
forget that.
Wait a minute.
The husband and wife got tocome before y'all now, right, so
we got our own home now.
So it's definitely him first.
Because, listen, what do yousay?
What the kids going to do?
They going to be disrespectfuland grow up, okay, and leave,
(37:00):
and leave.
And they ain't going to lookfor you to put them first.
Right, and now you at hometrying to figure out what am I
doing, because you didn't takeyour time to nurture what you
had and what you're going tohave to have when they're gone.
So which is yourself and yourpartner?
Speaker 2 (37:15):
Was there any guilt that came with that?
Because?
Of race so how do you fightthat?
Speaker 1 (37:22):
So it's different levels of guilt.
There's the parent guilt thatcomes and I think it never goes
away, when you think that you'renot doing something right.
And then there's the marriageguilt Like oh dang, I guess he
was right.
I wouldn't really pay him noattention.
You know also, as your bodychanges, you know you had a baby
(37:44):
.
You ain't never the same honey.
I don't even feel like havingsaid it.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
How many wants you to look at me right now?
We talked about being touchedout, but they don't get it, it's
personal to them.
Speaker 3 (37:55):
They think it's personal, I still love you.
I just look at the sunlight.
The sunlight is nice.
Speaker 1 (38:02):
Listen, they don't see what we see.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
And we thank God for that.
Oh yeah, they are so kind.
You look good, but I alwayssaid I have to feel like I'm a
good girl.
Speaker 1 (38:12):
And men have to get to their place where they feel
like that about themselves, themoment that they start having
some insecurity moments maybethey'll miss, because it don't
happen as often for me, but whenthey do, then it's sometimes
like a wake up, like, oh, thisis what you were feeling.
So for me, the guilt came inthose waves.
(38:33):
But when I started my freedomwalk, which meant I started
taking these layers off of thistab that I had created to
navigate the world and to fit inand to be like this perfect
person, I started realizing.
I was like, oh, wait, a minute,I was living for everybody
except me, and that meant I hadto start putting me first and
(38:53):
really getting to know myself.
And once I got to know me thetrue me I was like, oh, it's got
to start with me every day andI can't feel guilty about it and
I'm not going to apologize forit, and so that's how I live now
.
Speaker 3 (39:06):
I almost like being unapologetic about constantly
finding who you are yeah,absolutely.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
We should not apologize for that and we should
not feel guilty about it.
Speaker 2 (39:13):
So 2017 was your year , because that was six years ago
.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
So it was like, did it?
Speaker 2 (39:17):
happen, like right before, or what was the timing,
like you decided you were goingto put you first Because I got
sick.
Speaker 1 (39:23):
So during my sickness I was sick from 2016 to 2017,
for about a year and a half, andI thought I was going to die,
and during that time was theunraveling of this tab that I
had created for so long and, inmy prayer to God, my final wish
(39:44):
and call out, because I reallythought God had forgotten about
me.
My prayer was God, if you healme, you can have me, and that
meant I won't want you to livemy life my way anymore.
I was going to live it the wayhe created me, and in order to
do that, that meant I had toreally show up and stay up and I
had to take these layers off,and that meant OK, now I got to
be free, and so going on afreedom walk is why I call it
(40:06):
there Was every day learning tobe obedient, every day learning
to put me first, every day, nolonger trying to conform.
I ain't cold switching, no more.
I'm not covering my accent, nomore.
I ain't going to dress the wayyou want me to dress.
I'm not going to wear my hataway.
You want me to wear it.
I'm going to be who God hascalled me to be and it's going
to be this style and I'm notgoing to apologize for it
Doesn't mean I'm not triggered.
(40:27):
Because when you hit on ahealing journey, something is
going to shift you right or makeyou say oh, wait a minute, do I
deserve to be in this space?
Can I show up like this?
But then you check that, wecheck ourselves, and then we
proceed.
Speaker 2 (40:41):
I would say I feel things, but I don't let it run
me.
Like I don't pretend like Idon't have those moments.
So is that what you would sayto somebody who is like that
feels like God has forgottenthem?
Speaker 1 (40:52):
Yeah, I think that you know, during that time when
you feel that that's him wantingand desiring you to get closer
to him, yeah, right, for methat's what it was.
Me thinking that he hadforgotten about me made me go
deeper in my search for him,right?
And so I always say go deeper,right, you know, get a little
bit closer.
Speaker 3 (41:12):
Yeah, jeez, I just it's funny because I can relate
to that Like, after I wentthrough my big health scare, I
think I did take off a layer andpeople do ask like how do you,
you know, live in such a?
It's just different working.
And I'm like, yeah, because Irealized that it's not worth it,
(41:37):
like it's not worth living likethis all the time.
And if he was going to take meout, he would have done it a
long time ago.
He's like waiting for me tojust be free and walking what he
called me to be, so I would youknow, just little sidebar, if
you are in a moment where youare, you are right on the edge
(41:58):
and you know you're supposed tojust walk in freedom.
I love that you're calling itthat your freedom walk because I
haven't had verbiage for it.
I'm always like I don't know.
It's just kind of happenedabout two years ago and God said
but it's truly that it iswalking in freedom, walking in
what God literally called you tobe, and not not scared even
(42:21):
though it is scary, yeah, andeven if you scared, it's all
right.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:24):
Yeah, being afraid doesn't mean you're not free.
Acknowledging it means you'refree.
That's a good point, so it'sall right to do it.
Yeah exactly.
One more time.
But seriously, that's what itmeans you can be scared but
still be free.
Yeah, it's also scary whenyou're walking in freedom.
For me, when I first starteddoing videos and you know I had
(42:47):
to get the big chop hat cut offall my hair and in my prayer and
being obedient, I was like Igot to stop, like trying to talk
, perfect, yeah, I got to.
You know, I've been trained foryears.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
I worked in corporate .
America and also in acting likeyou have that cold sweat.
Speaker 3 (43:01):
Oh yeah, okay, yeah, who will talk?
All on the phone.
Speaker 1 (43:06):
Even with the people I had met here in LA because I
was trying to be this perfecttag.
Speaker 2 (43:10):
And I was like why can't you talk?
Speaker 1 (43:12):
to these people to say what I talked to my daddy.
It's the same way I talked tomy husband right Whenever I talk
to God Exactly.
When I know a camera is on orsomebody that may be in the
industry.
Even my friends, I had to.
I realized one of my bestfriends.
Her name is Zaynab.
We were on the phone one dayand we were talking she's from
New York, right?
And so we were talking and mydaddy called and I had to click
(43:34):
over and I was like, oh girl,hold on one second.
So I clicked over and I'vetalked to my daddy for a few
minutes and when I came back.
I was myself and she was likehello.
And I was like not even my realfriends know my real voice,
because I had been hiding for solong, right, because I was
trying to fit in out here in LAand I was told you country or
(43:56):
your voice sounds ignorant and Ibelieved that.
Speaker 2 (43:58):
And what's wild is what she know for right.
What she know for right.
You are like an ASMR sound foryour voice.
Speaker 3 (44:06):
My eyes can be closed , I know what the voice is, and
we all wait for that voice onInstagram.
Speaker 1 (44:11):
Well, I'm on Instagram every day, like
they're motivational messagesyeah that's amazing, but that's
not freedom, though.
Speaker 3 (44:17):
What are practical ways?
Because we talk about puttingourselves first, we talk about
finding ourselves, but like whatare the steps?
That is finally like okay, I'vedecided that this is time for
me to do that.
How do I do it?
Speaker 1 (44:29):
I don't think that there's actual steps right,
because I think everybody's lifeis different, but for me,
starting my day with myself,having a little bit of quiet
time whether that is working outin the mornings, having your
prayers in the mornings, butit's just your intimate time
with you and God.
You just have space foryourself, right, so you can also
(44:53):
tackle the day whatever maycome your way right.
Another thing is, which is soimportant is using the word no.
Speaker 3 (45:02):
We don't know how to do that sometimes.
Speaker 1 (45:03):
Yeah, it's hard.
It is work that has to be done,because somebody else's
emergency don't necessarily meanas your words, and sometimes
they think that.
And so you gotta be like oohhoney, I am so sorry, I'm not
even available, yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:20):
And it's okay and people actually accept no's they
do.
Speaker 3 (45:24):
Because we accept people's no's.
Speaker 2 (45:25):
It's like okay, I got it.
Speaker 3 (45:27):
She's like, but for some reason we don't we think
we're supposed to save everybody.
It's a controlled thing too, Ithink.
Speaker 1 (45:34):
But it's also a woman thing right.
It's in us.
We were born with a womb whichmeans we were born to carry, but
it doesn't mean that we carryeverybody else's problems.
But we sure try, we try.
Yeah, the womb is for thembabies.
Yeah, and we gotta carry allthe persons in the world and
everybody's problems.
Speaker 3 (45:51):
We're born with a womb, so that means we're born
to carry Jeez.
I mean just, I mean that's whywe carry a lot.
Speaker 1 (45:58):
We can have so much on us and people may not even
know Right.
Speaker 3 (46:01):
Because we hide at will.
Speaker 1 (46:02):
Yes, Honey a man, you know what he carry.
Speaker 3 (46:05):
Every single time.
Speaker 2 (46:06):
Every stress.
He be like you can see it.
Speaker 1 (46:09):
Every time but we can show up and be looking, alright
, yeah, and they thinkeverything is fine.
Speaker 3 (46:14):
It's like a woman carry a pregnancy for months,
exactly yeah, jesus, yeah, woo,okay.
So what is next?
Like as you continue to grow,as you continue to really go
after your wildest dreams andparent and be a wife what is the
thing for you?
Do you ever also feel like this?
(46:35):
Is it, and I'm good?
Speaker 2 (46:36):
Oh no.
What's your wildest dream?
What's the dream?
Speaker 1 (46:40):
Oh, I have a bunch of them.
You know, I'm nowhere near.
This is I'm good and this is it.
I think I'll be done when Godcalls me.
Speaker 3 (46:47):
There you go.
Speaker 1 (46:50):
But I have a lot of things I wanna do, of course.
I wanna do a talk show, I wannado documentaries.
I want to travel the world andopen our eyes up to different
things.
More film and TV.
I just partnered with Made inLove Media, with Steven Love, so
, you know, with my production.
Do you Believe Making otherpeople's dreams come true?
Speaker 2 (47:12):
Yeah, right, so I have a lot to do.
How has the talk show nothappened yet?
Speaker 1 (47:16):
Right.
Well, I've been off for acouple of times, but I kinda
it's gotta be my way.
Speaker 2 (47:19):
Okay, cause I like I know it's a story.
Speaker 1 (47:22):
Yeah, okay, that makes sense.
You know the timing gotta beright.
So whoever God says it's right,I know it will be.
Speaker 2 (47:28):
Okay.
So that's a good question,Because I think sometimes we get
presented with things that wepray for.
And so we wanna say yes, causewe're like that's what we pray
for.
How do you know to when to sayno to something you pray for,
when it don't feel right?
Yeah, what's that feeling foryou?
Speaker 1 (47:41):
It's a gut, it's a gut feeling.
I call it a gut is the giftunder the tummy, oh you feel
that feeling.
Speaker 3 (47:46):
I've never heard that before and you gonna hear it
all the time, right.
Speaker 1 (47:52):
Wow, I love that.
When you feel that andsomething don't line up, go and
walk away from that.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:58):
Cause I know people ignore it.
Speaker 3 (47:59):
Yeah, I might just be nervous, cause you convince
yourself.
You convince yourself that thisis right.
There's no way to be presentedif it wasn't him.
Speaker 1 (48:06):
Like we make a lot of things make sense, even though
it's Cause you also gottaremember the enemy knows our
dreams too, and so he canpresent his wails.
Speaker 2 (48:13):
Oh, he's good at it too.
He make it look real good yeah.
Speaker 3 (48:16):
Yeah, absolutely.
What's your motivation forinspiring people?
Because I think right now youalso, which is why people call
you auntie and the mom and allthat stuff.
What inspires your, keeps yougoing to, even when you don't
feel like it?
You know what I'm saying,because the motivator doesn't
always want to motivate, theencourager doesn't always want
to encourage, but I feel likeyou have a voice to the person,
(48:40):
the dreamer.
That it's very specific.
What?
What keeps you doing that?
Speaker 1 (48:45):
I feel like it's my assignment Right, even on days
where I don't feel like it.
If God gives me something, thenI give it Right.
So it's purpose for me and Iknow what he's told me to do,
yeah, and so I'm obedient in it,and so freedom keeps me
motivated, like I have thefreedom to deliver a message,
(49:08):
and I also he has.
He has blessed me with thisthing of once I give it, I've
released it and I don't carry itin his car, you know, and so it
doesn't matter what somebodysays about it.
I'm just doing my job as avessel, right, and so that keeps
me motivated, to know I'm.
I am, you know, doing my jobthat he has has blessed me to do
(49:28):
.
So what?
Speaker 2 (49:29):
would you say to a mom she's married or not married
, she has kids, she's working,and she had all these dreams and
she thinks that they're notpossible now Cause she's just
got this full plate and I'mgetting older and my kids need
me.
Like what would you tell her?
Speaker 1 (49:45):
I would say if you think that you can't, you can't,
but if you think that you can't, you can't.
Speaker 3 (49:53):
Jesus.
Speaker 1 (49:55):
Drop the excuses.
Listen either way, you right Ifyou say you can't, you can't.
If you say you can't, you can't, but either way you right.
Either way you right, so chooseyour right.
Yeah, you make the decision,yeah.
Speaker 3 (50:11):
How you gonna lie to yourself today.
Oh yeah, we not playing.
I mean, I'm telling you, it'sjust.
I am so grateful that we havebeen able to have these types of
conversations because it's soeasy to have the light and
fluffy right, it's so easy toencourage and it sounds so good.
But it's also very hard whensomebody is so deep down and
(50:34):
they have convinced themselvesthat really, this is it.
But it takes a certain amountof like you gotta pull yourself
up off, you know, by yourbootstraps and I think this
season is doing that especiallyfrom people like you that are
saying no, you gotta you, it'sgotta be you that wants it.
Like it's gotta be you that'sgotta tell you that you could do
(50:57):
it.
Speaker 2 (50:57):
Otherwise, you have to stop encouraging people into
complacency.
Like sometimes your friendswill be like okay, it makes
sense, like, yeah, your life ishard, it is okay.
You have to have those peoplethat say like so, so.
Speaker 1 (51:08):
Yeah, like, if you want it, you want it.
Speaker 2 (51:10):
You figure anything you care about.
Speaker 1 (51:12):
you'll figure it out and I think the most important
thing is not to put a time limiton your dreams, right?
I'm about to be 45.
So things just startedhappening for me.
You're really at the 40 mark.
My late 30s is when lifestarted to like really open up
in a new way for me, and I'mjust still getting started.
(51:33):
No matter how much I'veaccomplished, every day I'm like
, oh, this is a new day.
I'm just getting you know,getting started.
So I think you can raise yourkids, you can be this great mom,
but you can also do one smallthing every day towards your
dream.
Speaker 2 (51:46):
Right.
Speaker 1 (51:47):
It ain't gotta be something massive.
You can do one small thing,cause those kids, like I said,
they gonna grow up, they gonnabe going living their life, and
then what do you have?
Right, but you still have youin the process.
So you need to make sure youtake care and nurture your
dreams as well In the, you know,while you're on the journey of
being a mom and a wife orwhatever.
So, yeah, that's good.
Speaker 2 (52:06):
So I'm going to ask you one last question.
Oh, all, right, girl, okay, sowhat do you think moms actually
need to hear?
Speaker 1 (52:15):
Oh, you're doing a great job.
Speaker 2 (52:17):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (52:18):
You're doing a great job and you can do it your way,
and it's all right.
Speaker 2 (52:21):
Yeah, do it your way, your way yeah.
Speaker 3 (52:24):
That's good Cause.
We, we expose you.
We try to do it everybodyelse's way.
Yeah, you can do it your way.
Speaker 1 (52:31):
And the most important thing to remember is
you can do it different.
You can do it different, youdon't have to do it the way that
your mama did it, your grandmadid it, your friends do it.
You can do it different.
Speaker 3 (52:42):
Yeah, yeah, that's probably the best thing I
learned.
Speaker 2 (52:45):
Like my sister-in-law had kids before me and I'd
never seen anybody raise kidsthe way she does.
Like you know, her life and hermarriage came first and I was
like, oh, I can do that, Causemy mom sacrificed a lot, Like
she never had any sick days, anypersonal cause, it was all
dedicated to me.
And I'm like, oh, you, just youout living your life and you
got some help.
You can, you can.
(53:05):
You can like have help and notfeel ashamed about it and I was
like, oh okay, absolutely, youcan Honey.
Speaker 1 (53:11):
That's your village, honey, you want to create it and
that's also your business.
Speaker 3 (53:15):
Yes, yeah, wow, thank you so much.
Yes, thank you.
Thank you for talking with us.
You're coming on.
Yes, I appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (53:21):
Thank you for your yes.
Yes, it means the world to us.
It really does.
I appreciate y'all.
Speaker 1 (53:27):
You're the best Y'all are amazing Wow thank you, you
are amazing, you are amazing.
Speaker 3 (53:31):
I'm like us.
Speaker 1 (53:33):
Yes, they're amazing.
Y'all make sure y'all subscribeand things okay.
Yes, please, should I end it onin my video?
Speaker 3 (53:39):
Oh yes.
Speaker 1 (53:40):
Yes, please Well, be ever good.
We thank y'all for watching Allright, and until the next time
y'all going by at your businesshave the most amazing day.
But even if you can't have agood one, don't you dare come
edit out nobody else's slime.
Love y'all.
God bless you.
Speaker 3 (53:54):
Hey moisturization, hey moisturization, hosa, hosa,
hosa, hosa.
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