February 22, 2024 • 36 mins
Feeling lost in motherhood? Ever wish you could rewind or compare experiences on equal footing? Join us as we discuss these relatable struggles with Raye Boyce (@itsmyrayeraye), beauty and lifestyle influencer who shares her insights on:
- Navigating the identity shift: How motherhood changes us and the emotions we rarely discuss.
- Body image and societal pressures: Unpacking unrealistic expectations and embracing your individual journey.
- Finding balance (or redefining it): Exploring the gender gap in work-life balance and forging your own path.
- Defeating self-doubt: Tips to conquer "imposter syndrome" and prioritize what truly matters.
- Setting and Example: How our resilience and growth shape our children's happiness.
- Finding your tribe: Building genuine friendships during life's transitions.
- Peace and goal setting: Faith, authenticity, and navigating social media pressure.
This episode is for you if:
- You're a mom feeling lost or overwhelmed.
- You need honest conversations about motherhood's challenges.
- You seek inspiration from other moms' stories.
- You're ready to connect with a supportive community.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's viral, it's my.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
Monday.
That's your Monday, then Igotta do my work and I'm like
for what Cause, I don't evenknow cause I'm going to hell.
You about to die.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
So what are we even doing this?
For?
Who do we know this for?
Speaker 3 (00:11):
My phone's dead.
At least I'm going back tosleep.
What's up, hey mom?
What's up, hey mom?
What's up, hey mom?
What's up, hey mom.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
What's up, welcome to Moms.
Actually, I'm Blair and this isMorgan.
Get ready for some candidconversations, some relatable
moments with our guest Ray Boyce.
Yes, if you don't know her now,you do, but you definitely know
her Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
We are so excited to be back and let's go ahead and
get started in the episode withour it's giving motherhood.
Now, if you are new to thescene, we're going to go ahead
and explain this game.
The gold side is yes, or thefirst answer, and the white side
is no, or the second choice.
Now, ray, are you ready?
I'm ready.
Okay, the first answer is theright answer.
(00:57):
Always, always.
We're going to give ourquestions and then we're just
going to get right into it.
Okay, let's do it All right.
First one have you ever feltlike an outsider amongst other
moms?
Okay, Are you in the middle?
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Yeah, you're in the middle.
Why?
Because sometimes I don't know,because I want to say no, I
don't, but I'm sure I do,because I always feel really
awkward.
So I'm like I have to.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
So go ahead and turn to the white side.
Do you compare your currentbody to your pre-baby body?
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Yes, 100%, I don't.
I don't, I do, no, I don'tanymore, I still remember,
before I got married in my 20s,I really loved my body.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
I was like it looks so good and I was single and I'm
like man.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
No one's going to get to see my body while it looks
like this.
And now it's like nobody getsto see my body while it looks
like that because it's gone.
I was looking at an old picturethe other day.
I was like, ow, I look likethis.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Yeah, I was like I like how I look now, but I mean
you do look good, I looked good.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
I feel like I look better now.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
Yes, same.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
You have a grown woman, mommy, glow.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
Like it's different.
It's like I don't know.
Yeah, my husband always says Ilooked like a child before kids
Like you still look like a childbut, I understand your body.
Like now you look like a womanSame yeah, so I felt like a
legal before.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Oh my.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
God, yeah, got it.
Okay, would you rather go backin time five years or time
travel to the future five years?
Oh, I get to change things.
I want to time travel.
You want to go forward?
Yeah, oh, I'm going to be old,so, no, I want to go back in
time.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
Do we get to come back?
Oh, do you die?
No, like, okay, if I'mtraveling forward, do we have to
stay there?
Do I have to stay there Inthose five?
Speaker 1 (02:42):
years.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
I just get a little glimpse oh that's what I'm going
to say there.
Oh, I thought it was like ateleport type thing.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
No, because then that wouldn't be fun.
That just means you get likeeverybody's going to put that
one, you get to sneak peek, orcome back and I love it.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
You can't even just get through a basic question,
right?
Okay, I'm going back.
You guys are going forwardaging yourselves five years I
don't want to go back, becausethen my daughter won't be here.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
You get to have her.
Oh Would you.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Oh man.
Oh man, Would I still.
No, You're like I'd have.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Zoe.
But Right, geez, Okay.
Well, let's get out of there,yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
All right, all right, all right.
Do you think it's easier formen to juggle career and family
life?
Yes or no?
Absolutely, Am I on everycamera Okay.
Just make sure yes.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Okay, there's nothing to say about that?
Speaker 3 (03:31):
We don't need to say anything about that.
That's a question no need toelaborate.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Are you more likely to leave the party early or stay
and let your hair down?
Oh, it depends on the day.
I that's a good point.
You know, what I'm saying, Ilike to get to the party really
late.
I do too Like when I used to goto the club I would go to like
right before the let out.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
Right before the let out that's part, that's part.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Yeah, like at like 2 AM, but then it's super late.
Yeah, it is, but I'm a nightowl.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
I mean, I was out last night.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Where are you?
Look at you.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
I don't know how I've been.
And you are glum, you are.
You got good sleep Right.
2 o'clock.
2 o'clock, I'm like OK.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
LA closes like at like 11 30 PM, like LA stays
open late.
Yeah, oh, I didn't know that.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
Wow, ok.
Well, I guess we're all stayingout.
We staying out, we staying out.
Ok.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
We outside.
Ok, would you do it all again,knowing what you know now?
100% yes, yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Unfortunately.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Right, right, I would , because I like who I am.
Yeah, exactly the lessons thatyou learned.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
Like I wouldn't be who I am if I didn't like make
some mistakes.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
They're like well, you could still learn it a
different way.
I'm like I wouldn't risk it.
I wouldn't risk it, I don'twant to go through all of that
again.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
No, no yeah.
Let's see Booking a makeupartist for your daughter's prom.
Or are you doing her makeup?
Speaker 1 (04:49):
yourself.
Well, mine is definitely gold.
You have some decisions to make.
I'm doing her makeup.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I would do my daughter's yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Because, I'm cool, it's your bonding moment.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
Yeah, ok, can you let me do her makeup for the
stellar?
Really.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Aw, so I got to.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
That's so sweet, I felt so special.
I did that, I did yes, yes, ok,I can't say the last one, so
you go.
Oh, you want me to do it OK.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
I don't got enough heatless curls or a bust down
middle part with a 26 inch Ooh.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
I actually I got to bust down.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
I'll take the bust.
I hate middle parts you hatethem.
No, oh, my god, I'm in yourhair line.
I can't do it oh.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
It's either side or ponytail.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
Yeah, I've been rocking the side for this, for
it I wish I'm jealous.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
No, I feel like your head is nice.
No, I have like a little dip,so that's why I've been reading
my book.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Yeah, ok, like a little calligrapher.
Yeah, everybody's like close in.
No Wait, where is this?
Show me.
See I start middle part andthen like three days later I end
up at like the kind of offcenter.
Yeah.
And I go more to the side, andthen ponytail.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Yeah, that's mine.
I've been rocking the middlepart Because you know, like
middle part versus side part issupposed to tell your age a
little bit.
No, because you knowmillennials be on the side part.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
I thought side parts came back though.
I mean, they just came backlike a few months ago Maybe.
Yeah, I think Kim wore one inthere.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
Oh OK.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Oh Parts, she decides everything.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
Well, speaking of beauty trends and all the things
that you guys don't know whoRay is.
Let's brag on her for a bit.
She is the OG YouTuber.
She is that girl, but she'sstill really young.
Yes, yes, I am, she is thatgirl and we're just so excited
to have you here.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
I'm excited to be here.
This is fun.
What made you say yes?
What made you show up?
Ok, I was telling her earlierthat I actually didn't want to
do it, but I did.
I did in my heart, but I justdon't take it personally.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
I don't take it personally.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
With this stuff and I haven't done anything like this
in a really long time.
So I get super anxious.
That's another thing about me.
I hide it and I get quiet, butI'm extremely anxious.
My mind is all over the place.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
So I was like do I really want to do this?
Is it myself to that stress?
Speaker 2 (06:58):
But then I was like, let's just do it OK.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
I'm happy I'm here.
Yeah, you happy now?
Yeah, ok.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
Good, I'm like we're really, you know we're cool,
we're cool, we're cool.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
All right, so I have a question.
Ok, being that you are thebeauty guru, everybody pretty
much always probably talks toyou about all of those things.
What is a topic that you don'tget asked about but you wish you
had the opportunity to discussmore openly?
Speaker 2 (07:25):
That's a good question I feel like more of,
because I'm like so private, Idon't like nosy people, I don't
even know who's with me.
That's a lot too, all thequestions Right.
Yeah, probably like mybackground and where I'm from.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Oh, From New York.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Yeah, no, but more of just like how my family is.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Like how?
Speaker 2 (07:49):
because it's crazy when I meet people and they hear
my story about my family andhow I was raised and like the
things that I've gone throughand seen, they're just like how
are?
Speaker 1 (07:58):
you standing, so you know what's next.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
It doesn't make sense .
I need to.
No, seriously, we need to know.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Yeah, now I need to for you to say it so I can say
that doesn't make sense.
What's your therapy session?
What's the TLDR?
Speaker 3 (08:10):
Yeah, it's a lot, it's a lot, it's a lot.
Well, if you could say, likefor somebody who maybe had the
same background or evenupbringing, that you did like.
What would you say to them?
Speaker 2 (08:27):
I would say If in that moment, you have a dream or
there's something that you wantto pursue and you really have,
like, the odds stacked againstyou, you're used to seeing a
certain lifestyle, used toseeing people, friends, get
murdered.
Yeah, you know, things happeninto your mom Almost being taken
(08:47):
away from your mom because yourfamily calls Child protective
services just because you know,my mom's like the black sheep of
her family, yeah.
So I've seen like a lot of crazythings that I thought was
normal.
And then, like talking to otherpeople, they're like are you
okay?
Yeah, you know that's not okay,that's not normal.
So I would just say that younever know, whatever dream you
have, whatever you want topursue, like it could happen.
(09:09):
I would have never in a millionyears think I would be here
like if God literally showed meI'd be like listen, I know you
got, but you lying, that's notgonna happen, but it happened.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
So, yeah, I was gonna ask if you ever experienced
some posture syndrome, butclearly all clear, I so how do?
You push through it because youknow that's usually what stops.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Yeah, yeah like.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
I know you self lies, I know I literally have to lie
to myself like sometimes I do alittle side.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
No, I'd be like God.
I don't really, you know, Idon't really talk like this, but
I just got to tell myself this,right now I'd be like you, that
, you that girl.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
You, even though my head every like, are you sure?
Speaker 2 (09:49):
But?
I'm like no, I have to tellmyself that because then, like
today, I wouldn't have showed up.
Honestly, I feel like that'sthe imposter syndrome kicking in
, where I just don't feel like Ideserve it or belong.
Why do they want to talk to?
Speaker 1 (10:01):
me.
Yeah, yeah, no, that's how wefeel.
We're like.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
Like yes we literally had that conversation yesterday
.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
We're like why?
Why do people say yes?
Speaker 3 (10:17):
Yeah, I agree it's.
It's one of those things too.
First of all, I applaud you forpushing through, because you
don't know who you're helping tolike.
There's so many people outthere.
I know, like I told you earlier, I've been following you
forever and I think when you seelike you have that little girl,
or you know that young woman atthat point, yeah, who wants to
(10:39):
do more, who is Aspiring, andnow we're mothers and you know,
when you become a mom, yourpriorities change, your dreams
change and all that stuff, andso it's like you have to, like
push through.
You do, but it's hard.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
It's hard.
I don't want to do this yeahand that's why we are here.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
It's like to be able to help other people, because
just watching the person to sayI made it is like Chefs kiss a
big thing I was gonna say how isyour daughter changed how you
work?
Speaker 1 (11:10):
because I think about that often With noble, because
I get imposter syndrome in and,for example, if someone invited
me to something if they give metoo much time, I'm gonna talk
myself out of it like I need thenight before, so I don't like
Literally, but it's a lot oftimes.
What convinces me to do thingsnow is what she's gonna see when
she's older.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
I want her to be like how does Zoe like Motivate?
I feel like she motivates me,like you said, to continue even
during the times when I don'twant to, because they're like
there's moments where evensometimes I'm like I don't feel
like doing the social mediastuff, like I'm going to quit,
like I just get tired and theimposter syndrome really gets
bad and kicks in.
But then when I look at her andthen when she's asking me for
(11:49):
all these new toys and stuff andshe wants to go on all these
adventures so she just helps me,want to become a better me and
push myself, when I see her andhow happy she is, I'm like I did
that.
Yeah, that's one thing that,like, no one can take away from
me.
I can say, like how?
Happy she is.
I did that, yeah, so I have to.
Whatever I'm doing, I'm doingthe right, clearly.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
Yeah, I love that and I think it's important to be
able to say that, because Ithink sometimes we we don't want
to like be proud.
Yeah, you know what I'm saying,like it's like you know we're
cocky or whatever, but no, likebrag on yourself.
I think what's one of thethings that we really try to
Celebrate is brag on yourself,like be confident, cuz, who else
(12:32):
is gonna do it?
Yeah, sometimes it's just youthat has that.
You know, that's encouragingyourself and that's what you
need.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
It's just you that sees all the things Behind the
scenes.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Yes, so you have to you know, my thing lately has
been saying like we are so goodat lying to ourselves about like
Bad things, like I'm not goodenough, I'm not like, why not
lie to ourselves about goodthings?
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Yeah we're gonna lie to ourselves.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
Which is probably true.
You know the girl that girl wasbeing a single motherhood.
What have been some of thethings that you have learned
through this Journey?
Because no one goes into likerelationships and has kids
thinking that they're gonna be asingle mom, yeah, I mean.
So what have been the biggestlike takeaways?
Speaker 2 (13:26):
I'd say the biggest takeaway for me Was realizing I
really have to know and learnmyself before.
I do anything or get into arelationship with anyone and I'm
on that journey now because Iwas married and with that person
for so long but I feel likeit's just given me a lot of
(13:47):
information that I can pass downto Zoe too, yeah, so that I can
kind of protect her as much asI can from you know anything
like that happening.
But I feel like I just want totake life slow now and enjoy the
moments.
I'm always in a rush, yeah, andI'm always trying to like check
everything off of my list so Ican feel like I'm accomplished
in life, yeah, and I noticedthat for me, and I feel like for
(14:10):
other people when they do that,it's like you're not really
enjoying it and finding yourhappiness.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
You're just trying to get to a point of the
accomplishment, yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
And then it's like, okay, now what?
Speaker 1 (14:17):
You do that, so you always have to strive for
something.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
So that's what I feel like has taught me a lot.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
How do you make the decision that you are better off
being a single parent thanstaying in a marriage?
You know how like people arelike stay together for the kids
or whatever.
How do you decide like?
This is it?
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Yeah, I feel like for me, the whole stay for the kids
stuff to me I don't know.
I think it's ridiculous becauseyou get to see everything
that's happening behind thescenes when you're a child.
You're experiencing all that.
My promise to myself.
I said no matter what, I don'tcare who you are.
If it gets to a point where weare arguing in front of our
daughter or if it's anythinghostile, anything that's going
(14:55):
to affect her or give her anytrauma, I was like you're gone,
that's what anyone in my life.
Even if it's bringing me toomuch stress, because now, when
I'm stressed, she's looking atme and she's getting into the
age where she's going to be likeare you okay?
Speaker 1 (15:06):
What's going on?
What's wrong?
Why are you crying?
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Obviously, the world isn't perfect.
She's going to see me sometimesfeeling down, but I don't ever
want her to see it be asituation that I'm in control of
, and I can cut out of my lifeyeah.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
Do you feel like you are in a space where you're like
healed?
Speaker 2 (15:22):
No, I'm not fully healed.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
Okay, I feel like.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
I've moved on.
But as far as healing, I thinkas a whole, since this is the
first time me being alone LikeI've never been on my own my
whole life until now.
So I feel kind of like I juststarted college right now and
I'm like there's so many thingsI've never done.
That's why she was out till 233.
I was like, oh okay, this ishow I was doing 10 years ago.
(15:48):
I never did that, so it's cool.
It's like I'm just relearningmyself again which is fun.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
Yeah, I'm seeing what .
Speaker 2 (15:56):
I like to do?
What are my hobbies Like?
What are things I want toexplore?
Speaker 3 (16:00):
What I don't like so it's a fun journey.
I think that's important tolike lean into, because we get
so many comments from singlemoms are like, well, what about
you know?
You guys are always saying like, get a break, and all this
stuff and they're like well, howam I supposed to get a break if
I don't have help?
Or how am I supposed to lovemyself if I don't have time to
(16:20):
even you know?
Think about what I love aboutmyself.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
I'm sick of you guys saying I need self care.
I know I need self care.
Yeah, I know I have time foryeah, yes, yes.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
So what have been like the ways that you were like
okay, I know that without ashadow of doubt, I'm going to
get this, because this is whatI'm doing for me.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Um well, I'm on a bowling league, so that is
that's so cute.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Wait, can you get the ball to like spin?
No, I'm not there yet.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
I'm not there yet because I was perfect and
everything else.
Okay, I just have to perfect mythrow.
I'm on a little swag, um, butyeah, so I do bowling and that's
kind of like been my thing,where I'm like I have to do this
for me.
It's just for me, you know, ithas nothing to do with anybody
else.
I get to have my time andescape and not just focus just
on bowling.
Do you go with?
Speaker 3 (17:05):
friends, are you going to bowl?
Literally, yeah, I have a team.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
Yeah, that is so cute yeah, you guys have like a cute
name.
We're like we're actually we'retrying to figure out a name.
Right now we haven't come upwith one, but yeah, we went to
Vegas, uh-huh, I think, like afew months ago like on a travel
yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
Do you have special shoes.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Yeah, how much shoes Wow.
What color are they?
They're pink and black.
That is so cute.
Yeah, it's cool, it's reallycool.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
I really think that that should be for every mom,
though.
Like pick up, get a hobby, itreally helped you mental.
Oh my gosh, yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Because when we took our little month break, I was
like what am I doing with myself?
I'm just being a mom.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
Yeah, I'm just being a mom.
I'm just being like I needsomething so I can be a good mom
.
I need something for me, so Ican be a great mom.
Exactly that makes sense.
So how is it like managingfriendships?
So you go from marriage whereyour life can be a lot about
like your husband, and then youhave kids, and then you go into
single mom life where you needcommunity and you need
friendships, even when you'remarried.
(18:07):
But we tend to like not waterthem as well when we're married.
So it's like how do you do youhave friends how?
Speaker 2 (18:13):
do I manage that?
I do.
I know I have friends Becausewhen I first moved to Los
Angeles it took me a long timeto make friends.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
I was a homebody.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
So it made sense.
I said I had a house.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
I know, but I had to break in.
You had to be friends with yourstalkers, exactly.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
I feel like being on this new journey of like finding
myself.
Another thing that I love to dois I take myself out to eat or
to lunch.
I literally just go by.
Myself, I set up the bar andget my favorite food and I feel
like doing that and puttingmyself out there has helped me
meet new people, okay, and Ihave new friends now.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
So you probably just be like hey girl, hey, you said
the best and I'm like, hey,you're cool.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
I said no.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
And then literally end up being great friends.
I have met so many great peopleover this past year I can't
even believe it Like realhardcore people who are actually
like there for you, yeah, whichis hard to find.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Yeah, I was going to say so Because somebody would
play the long game.
What were we talking about?
Like some people, you know,they just uh-oh.
We ain't going to like a freshfriend.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
No, I think it's just too like we hear the no new
friends, all that stuff, and Iwas literally going to ask you,
are you team no new friends, oryou are?
You know, I used to be, yeah,okay, I used to be team.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
No new friends.
I had my best friend.
I was like I'm good with her,but then I realized that with
friends friendships in generaleveryone brings something
different to the table for you.
So you have to have multiplefriends, like there's that
friend that you might just havefun with, you guys like to
travel together.
Then there's friends where youknow they can help you
emotionally yeah, mommy friends.
(19:47):
So it's like I feel like I havelike a good.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
I got a good melt and pop.
Yeah, people say it's likeharder to make friends when you
get older, once you become aparent, but I found it easier
because you know what you'relooking for.
Like I know the type of peopleI'm not looking for.
A lot of friends I'm lookingfor, like, good, solid friends,
and I've met most of my closestfriends in my nearly 40s 30s.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
I'm not going to say right, I'm not her last year,
yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:14):
We just met last year .
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Wow no way, we met at a conference yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
In March.
I know that is so cool, likebesties.
Speaker 3 (20:22):
Okay, so you got the whole friend thing down, it
seems.
But I will say, with you beinga popular influencer and like I
mean I would say you're prettyfamous, right.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
You don't think you're famous.
You don't go out and peoplerecognize you yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
So what's the what's famous Foster?
Speaker 1 (20:39):
syndrome.
What's famous Drake?
That's famous.
What makes him famous, and notyou, I think it's the magnitude.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
Okay, so with friends , though Wait, wait.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Okay, you got like a million followers.
What's magnitude.
Yeah, so just on one platform.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
I don't know, I think , because I've been doing it for
so long, it's just like andbecause I don't visually see
those people.
It just looks like a number tome.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
Yeah, I'm like I'm not really there.
That's baby.
She said it's just a number.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
No, especially when you think about the like
conversion rate to engagement.
So it's like you're engaged andnever looked like where's my
million likes thing.
I'm always like where y'all at.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Y'all sleeping, I don't know.
Oh, that's so true, okay okay.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
Well, I was gonna ask when it comes to friends, do
you or have you ever had themoment where you're like I don't
want to be friends with peoplebecause I don't know what their
intentions are?
Speaker 2 (21:30):
So I'm actually the opposite and a lot of my friends
, they're the ones in my ear andthey're like you do know.
That person just wants to beyour friend because of who you
are right.
And I'm like no, they're sonice and we have fun.
So in that sense I had to kindof learn the hard way.
I was a little naive where I'mjust such a people person and I
don't obviously I don't look atmyself the way other people
(21:52):
might look at me.
So I made friends with peopleyet and then I realized, okay,
maybe my other friend was rightand she's like told you, they
just want to be your friends,they want to come over to your
house and be nosy and see what'sgoing on.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
I'm like you're not gonna be in any of my content.
It's just me and my nose andall my pics.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
I ain't got nothing.
But, yeah, you'd be surprised.
I mean, especially in LosAngeles, I wouldn't be surprised
at all.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's why.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
I'm like surprised that you just learned going out
to the bar and like making adifference and I hang out by
myself and go to the bar.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
People are gonna be like oh, she does, yeah, which
one Right?
Right Now, I can't, I'm notgoing anymore.
I'm about to start plotting onyou, right, right, no, we're
gonna be friends, let's do somemass prank.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
I'm gonna be friends Right.
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
Yeah, no, but no, we're doing that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's veryimportant.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
Would you say as far as, as you're like kind of, I
feel like this year, just youknow seeing you, you're coming
back out of your shell, you'reyou know doing things.
It's like where, what has gotyou here, like, what are the
things mainly?
Do you have main, like one bigthing that you feel like has
(22:57):
gotten you to the place whereyou are now between motherhood
and just being out of your shell?
Speaker 2 (23:04):
God, no, seriously do this journey.
I feel like I'm not saying Ihad to go through some things,
but I feel like it definitelybrought me back to him, because
I feel like there was a point inmy life where I was super close
to him and I was doing what Ineed to do, what I feel I need
to do for God, and then I justkind of just let everything go.
(23:29):
Yeah, because I was just kind oflike everything bad stuff's
happening, nothing's reallyworking out, and I was like I'm
just going to kind of take abreak.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
Like I was.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
I'm still like I always love God and I know, like
you know, he's the one, but Iwas just like I don't know I
just don't feel like talking toyou right now.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
He was in the backseat, he just had like him
drive.
Yeah, he'd get in the passengerseat Maybe call me and.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
I'd be like I'm kind of busy right now, maybe later
now, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (23:50):
That's for real though that's real and I'm
really glad that you said that,because I think some people are
so hard on themselves and theyfeel like I'm supposed to be
doing this.
And then, of course, you get onsocial media and where you know
, you hear the devotionals andyou hear the inspiration, but
you're like I don't feel that.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
Yeah, literally.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
Like, what do you do when you don't feel it?
Yeah, yeah.
So I said I'm kind of oversocial media lately because I'm
like everybody got the answers.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Everybody has the inspiration.
Speaker 3 (24:12):
And I'm just scrolling.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
I'm like no, you don't.
Speaker 3 (24:14):
Like you don't.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
And like when someone's going to say, like I
don't have the answers.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Yeah, Like this is like I don't.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
But you know, good luck girl, like I'm trying my
best, like you, it's just.
It's just gotten veryoverwhelming, like I got on
threads Threads at first, likethe first week it was real cool.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
Like it felt like old school twins.
Now it's like it's allinspiration.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
So I'm just like you know what They'll copy and paste
it.
At this point I'm like mydaughter's talking about pooping
in above and below is yeah, soI'm like you don't want to do it
, yep, yep, I think it's.
Speaker 3 (24:43):
I think it's good, like we, we do the motivational
Mondays, but they're literalMondays, y'all.
I mean, like I don't gotnothing for you, I'm the one
that needs to be motivated rightnow and I think that that's.
That's okay.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
It's okay to say that , yeah, and I feel like that's
why I'm coming out of my showagain, because I'm someone where
I feel like, because of myplatform, like I need to have an
answer to something yes, andsometimes I'm like I don't know,
y'all, I'm figuring out justlike you.
You probably can you give meadvice.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
You might know more than me yeah, but I think that's
what happened and all theplatforms felt like cause I
think it even happened for us.
You feel like you have to havethe answers Cause before all
staring at you like I don't knowthey're like you have to.
I don't know you have to, soyou said you're not healed yet
what would it look like to behealed?
Like what do you think that is?
Speaker 2 (25:37):
I don't even know, but I'm excited for the moments
you get there, but I feel likemaybe just finding some peace
Like I'm on that journey already, but just finding peace in
everything that has happened inmy life is going to happen in my
life and just really work onenjoying being in the present,
(26:00):
and I feel like that's what Ibattle with a lot.
My brain is just always sittingthere thinking about tomorrow,
10 years from now.
Oh my gosh, I'm gonna die,we're not gonna stay alive.
Oh my gosh, I do this, I dothis.
Oh my gosh, I'm not doing it.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
I'm like we're all just gonna die.
I don't like it.
I'm like we're dead and it'sall black, and then I'm like but
I'm dead, so black doesn'texist.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
So then, what's after ?
Speaker 1 (26:19):
black.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
And then, oh my gosh, it's not.
It's like we're gonna make itto heaven right now.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,no, no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
We're spiraling.
And then I'm like wait, what ifI go to hell?
Oh, my gosh, I'm gonna burn it.
I mean it's too much.
You know, I'm stressed out.
I have a gut, I have my wholemoney.
I'm just like I can't get pastthe black.
I haven't gotten to hell yet.
Yeah, that's it.
I think I'm gonna heaven.
But then what if God's likegirl bye.
Speaker 3 (26:44):
You didn't do anything I told you to do.
There are a lot of.
There are some goodness.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
No, okay, I feel like y'all have gotten my brain.
I literally can't followInspirals of my Mondays, that's
your Mondays.
Then I gotta do my work and I'mlike for what Cause, I don't
even know, cause I'm going tohell.
You about to die.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
So what are we even doing this?
For?
Who do we do this for?
Speaker 2 (27:03):
If I sleep, at least, I go back to sleep when I get
over one.
Speaker 3 (27:07):
I'm like that, I'm just like.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
I'm the same I go to sleep and I wake up.
I'm like reset, Reset.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
it's gonna be two hours later.
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
I'm happy that we all got on our own.
No, we're all on the same page.
Speaker 3 (27:21):
We all spiral.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
Yeah, I should have like prevented late at the black
black doesn't exist part,you're like I just can't get it.
I have to get out of it, please, please, oh man, can we get out
?
Speaker 3 (27:31):
of here.
I don't know.
We're already there.
We have spiraled down thisblack hole Literally, but there
is no black.
I'm gonna chill.
Oh my gosh, I'm sorry, allright.
All right, let's get out of theblack hole, okay, all right,
and let's really start to thinkabout.
I really want to talk about thenew year.
(27:51):
Okay, we are in 2024.
All the girls have goals.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
Yes, you know what I'm saying, are you one?
Speaker 3 (27:59):
of the people that have like you playing your whole
year out, or are you like?
Look, I need to take it one dayAt a time.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
Yeah, I'm the one day at a time kind of person,
because I feel like I will beginto spiral again.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
Yes.
Once I have all these goals andI'm not hitting them when I
want to hit them.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
I at least try to have just like one big goal.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
I feel like for me, it's really like I mentioned
before, just to learn to bepresent.
Okay, that is my goal.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
There's no vision board parties.
Yeah, no, she's in the way Itried it one time and I'm just
like cutting your magazines,she's like this looks cute on
Instagram.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
Exactly, it's a cute moment, but can somebody do it
for me?
Yeah, right.
Speaker 3 (28:44):
They don't even really do magazines anymore too.
How do they do them?
Yeah, they do them on theinternet.
Now On the apps, right, I thinkthey will start making like
apps.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
I'm old.
Yeah, no, you're not old, Ijust that's what they tell old
people no.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
I just feel like no.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
I'm always that like anti resolution and like.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
I'm not really I'm, I'm, I be stressed out, so I
just want to focus in the momentand just get as long as I can
get something done off mychecklist, I'm happy.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
Yeah, I feel that I'm not a resolution person, I'm a
word person.
Speaker 3 (29:14):
But that just started because of church.
Church always has like the wordof the year.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
Yeah, and so mine last year was discipline.
So it's just like anything I do, yeah, be disciplined about it,
like don't give myself outs,don't get lazy, or when I do, go
back to that word.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
Yeah, cause, if you're like, I'm going to work
out every day.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
Yeah, I'm going to bounce out of it, but I'm like
I'm going to be disciplined, soI'm not going to work out every
day, but I'm going to work outWednesdays or I'm going to do
five minutes.
And it's like I can bedisciplined in the things that I
do choose to do.
Speaker 3 (29:41):
Mine was bigger.
Yeah, I was like every time Ithink of something, think bigger
.
Every time I want to dosomething, do it bigger.
I think, cause we I was kind ofsaying this early like we
always, as women and as mothers,we kind of like go with life in
such a way of like just enough,yeah, or if we can just do this
(30:04):
and it's like no, we just thebest, we deserve all of it.
And not just some.
So that was my word.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
So I guess, well, I have to, but one, first one
would be present.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
Okay and consistent.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
Yeah, consistent Every influencer's favorite word
.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
But not even just consistent one content.
Consistent Like with myself.
Yes, I don't care about myself,because I feel like I'm always
focused on just being a mom,where if it's something like
I'll be like I need to find atherapist.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
I'm saying that for the last few months and I'm like
girl, just do it and beconsistent, like things that I
want to do and continue to dothem because I'm somewhere.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
I have to continue to be active and be consistent for
me to be happy and I'verealized that.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
Yeah.
So now I'm going to follow upon you.
Like in two weeks I'm going tobe like keep my own jerk there.
Because you know better help ifyou're just going to like do it
on my own.
Like you can do it, call meaccountable, yeah.
Your friends are not yourtherapist.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
Exactly, they are not your therapist.
No, they are not.
Speaker 1 (31:02):
Because you know, that's just the.
Speaker 3 (31:04):
My journal is my therapist right now.
I wish I could journal.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
You can.
I'm trying, so no, I've tried abillion times and I'm not it.
Speaker 3 (31:12):
But this is what I've been telling people.
Speaker 1 (31:14):
It's like I think we think it has to be like this
whole thing where it has to be afull page.
Yeah, why don't you justjournal like I'm happy today?
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
Yeah, some of my interns are literally like five
sentences.
Really, yeah, like okay, thismorning it was God.
I thank you for just allowingme to even be able to do this
show.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
Great, let's go because you have to practice the
muscles.
Yeah, cuz I think it's like Iused to use, like my I have a
resting D face or whatever, andI'm like this is just my face
and I'm like.
You can always say this is justwho I am or I don't do this,
but you can if you practice yeahand so it's like I started
short journaling and I don't doit every day, but I don't beat
(31:52):
myself up if I haven't done itin five days.
Speaker 3 (31:54):
I don't see.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
I don't do it, I just have to try to catch it.
And then Megan Markle Showed methis personally through her
documentary on Netflix.
Speaker 3 (32:03):
I said you remember, tell me more.
I'm gonna be her friend.
I'm like when were you gonnatell me this?
Speaker 1 (32:10):
So, through her, documentary on Netflix when she
said Blair, but no, they dovideo journaling and it's really
cool because I started doing itlast year and it's like to see
where you were last year or likeit's, the one time it's
actually okay to cry on.
Speaker 3 (32:24):
Yeah, yeah, it is your personal because you can
save them all.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
Your daughter can look at them one day, because.
Like this girl I know she wastalking about.
She tries never to cry in frontof her daughter.
I was like I think it's okay tocry in front of your child and
explain that everybody.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
I will say I'm one of those moms.
You try to hide it, yeah, butshe.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
My thing is like you don't everyone heard it feel
like she has to like yeah.
And I think there's a lesson,because I tell my daughter, like
I'm the first one to say, likewe don't cry about all this, you
need to get it together.
I'm not like let's cry abouteverything.
But I think she's seen me cryand I'll explain.
Like see I get stressed out, orI feel this way.
But this is what I'm trying todo to calm down so that when she
feels that way, she doesn'tfeel like she has to hide.
Speaker 3 (33:03):
I never see my cuz.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
I never saw my mom cry.
Speaker 3 (33:05):
Yeah, so it's like we don't cry yeah, do this but
it's healthy sometimes.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
Yeah, so I think it's just the description right out.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
But yeah, so you can actually cry on camera without
looking like a crazy person.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
I'll be crying on camera and then I'll start
laughing at myself.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
I.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
Swear that is me.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
Look at yourself after you cry.
Like give yourself five minutesafter.
And it's like but yeah, video,video journal is really cool to
like be able to go back to it.
Yeah, one day, you know likekind of like a time capsule.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
Yeah, I like that too , especially with my daughter.
That would be cute to do.
Speaker 3 (34:04):
Yes, now we have our one last question.
This has been amazing.
I can't believe.
I know basically over, yeah,but what do you think moms
actually need to hear?
Speaker 2 (34:14):
Oh, Don't be so hard on yourself.
I know it's so cliche to saybut yeah, it's the truth.
Like you kids alive and healthy.
You're doing well, like you'reshowing up the best you can,
literally like, don't be so hardon yourself.
Yeah, I think that's yeah,that's good.
Speaker 3 (34:34):
It's alive, the baby is alive.
I'm keeping them alive, yes,which is very hard.
It's very hard to take care ofa whole human right, good.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
You're so alive and you baby, yes.
Speaker 3 (34:48):
Because you can be keeping the human alive.
Speaker 1 (34:51):
Yes, and I'm there a lot sometimes yeah, it's like
man we get there, they can careof everybody else.
Yeah, and not yourself take ityourself.
Speaker 3 (35:00):
So that's the lesson of the day.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
That is a lesson.
Speaker 3 (35:02):
Yes, be what you say.
Don't be so hard on yourself,don't be so hard on yourself.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
Don't be so hard on yourself, don't beat yourself up
.
Speaker 3 (35:07):
I love that.
Well, guys, thank you so muchfor watching great, thank you.
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
Thank you, so thank you for your yes, yes, we're so
good.
And the follow through yes,trust me, I understand.
Yeah, yeah, anxiety was like doyou really want to do this?
Speaker 2 (35:24):
Think about it.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
Yes any last thoughts , anything on your mind.
You can say no, but just wantto make sure you I think we're
all good content yeah.
I like that word.
Every Thursday evening we keepthe conversation going on
Instagram live for the mom'sactually after show, so check us
out around 90 15.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
Eastern, yes, eastern .
Yeah, yeah, we got put thebabies to bed.
Yes, we do.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
Nice.
Follow us on Instagram, makesure you like us subscribe to us
.
Speaker 3 (35:59):
You know, share the love, share with another mom or
friend or mom to be yes and wejust appreciate you guys for
watching.
Thank you so much for watchingmom's actually where moms come
to find themselves.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
Hey mom, hey mom, what's up?
It's viral, it's my.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
Monday.
That's your Monday, then Igotta do my work and I'm like
for what Cause, I don't evenknow cause I'm going to hell.
You about to die.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
So what are we even doing this?
For?
Who do we know this for?
Speaker 3 (00:11):
My phone's dead.
At least I'm going back tosleep.
What's up, hey mom?
What's up, hey mom?
What's up, hey mom?
What's up, hey mom.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
What's up, welcome to Moms.
Actually, I'm Blair and this isMorgan.
Get ready for some candidconversations, some relatable
moments with our guest Ray Boyce.
Yes, if you don't know her now,you do, but you definitely know
her Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
We are so excited to be back and let's go ahead and
get started in the episode withour it's giving motherhood.
Now, if you are new to thescene, we're going to go ahead
and explain this game.
The gold side is yes, or thefirst answer, and the white side
is no, or the second choice.
Now, ray, are you ready?
I'm ready.
Okay, the first answer is theright answer.
(00:57):
Always, always.
We're going to give ourquestions and then we're just
going to get right into it.
Okay, let's do it All right.
First one have you ever feltlike an outsider amongst other
moms?
Okay, Are you in the middle?
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Yeah, you're in the middle.
Why?
Because sometimes I don't know,because I want to say no, I
don't, but I'm sure I do,because I always feel really
awkward.
So I'm like I have to.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
So go ahead and turn to the white side.
Do you compare your currentbody to your pre-baby body?
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Yes, 100%, I don't.
I don't, I do, no, I don'tanymore, I still remember,
before I got married in my 20s,I really loved my body.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
I was like it looks so good and I was single and I'm
like man.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
No one's going to get to see my body while it looks
like this.
And now it's like nobody getsto see my body while it looks
like that because it's gone.
I was looking at an old picturethe other day.
I was like, ow, I look likethis.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Yeah, I was like I like how I look now, but I mean
you do look good, I looked good.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
I feel like I look better now.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
Yes, same.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
You have a grown woman, mommy, glow.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
Like it's different.
It's like I don't know.
Yeah, my husband always says Ilooked like a child before kids
Like you still look like a childbut, I understand your body.
Like now you look like a womanSame yeah, so I felt like a
legal before.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Oh my.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
God, yeah, got it.
Okay, would you rather go backin time five years or time
travel to the future five years?
Oh, I get to change things.
I want to time travel.
You want to go forward?
Yeah, oh, I'm going to be old,so, no, I want to go back in
time.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
Do we get to come back?
Oh, do you die?
No, like, okay, if I'mtraveling forward, do we have to
stay there?
Do I have to stay there Inthose five?
Speaker 1 (02:42):
years.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
I just get a little glimpse oh that's what I'm going
to say there.
Oh, I thought it was like ateleport type thing.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
No, because then that wouldn't be fun.
That just means you get likeeverybody's going to put that
one, you get to sneak peek, orcome back and I love it.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
You can't even just get through a basic question,
right?
Okay, I'm going back.
You guys are going forwardaging yourselves five years I
don't want to go back, becausethen my daughter won't be here.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
You get to have her.
Oh Would you.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Oh man.
Oh man, Would I still.
No, You're like I'd have.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Zoe.
But Right, geez, Okay.
Well, let's get out of there,yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
All right, all right, all right.
Do you think it's easier formen to juggle career and family
life?
Yes or no?
Absolutely, Am I on everycamera Okay.
Just make sure yes.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Okay, there's nothing to say about that?
Speaker 3 (03:31):
We don't need to say anything about that.
That's a question no need toelaborate.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Are you more likely to leave the party early or stay
and let your hair down?
Oh, it depends on the day.
I that's a good point.
You know, what I'm saying, Ilike to get to the party really
late.
I do too Like when I used to goto the club I would go to like
right before the let out.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
Right before the let out that's part, that's part.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Yeah, like at like 2 AM, but then it's super late.
Yeah, it is, but I'm a nightowl.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
I mean, I was out last night.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Where are you?
Look at you.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
I don't know how I've been.
And you are glum, you are.
You got good sleep Right.
2 o'clock.
2 o'clock, I'm like OK.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
LA closes like at like 11 30 PM, like LA stays
open late.
Yeah, oh, I didn't know that.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
Wow, ok.
Well, I guess we're all stayingout.
We staying out, we staying out.
Ok.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
We outside.
Ok, would you do it all again,knowing what you know now?
100% yes, yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Unfortunately.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
Right, right, I would , because I like who I am.
Yeah, exactly the lessons thatyou learned.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
Like I wouldn't be who I am if I didn't like make
some mistakes.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
They're like well, you could still learn it a
different way.
I'm like I wouldn't risk it.
I wouldn't risk it, I don'twant to go through all of that
again.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
No, no yeah.
Let's see Booking a makeupartist for your daughter's prom.
Or are you doing her makeup?
Speaker 1 (04:49):
yourself.
Well, mine is definitely gold.
You have some decisions to make.
I'm doing her makeup.
Speaker 3 (04:54):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I would do my daughter's yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Because, I'm cool, it's your bonding moment.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
Yeah, ok, can you let me do her makeup for the
stellar?
Really.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Aw, so I got to.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
That's so sweet, I felt so special.
I did that, I did yes, yes, ok,I can't say the last one, so
you go.
Oh, you want me to do it OK.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
I don't got enough heatless curls or a bust down
middle part with a 26 inch Ooh.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
I actually I got to bust down.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
I'll take the bust.
I hate middle parts you hatethem.
No, oh, my god, I'm in yourhair line.
I can't do it oh.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
It's either side or ponytail.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
Yeah, I've been rocking the side for this, for
it I wish I'm jealous.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
No, I feel like your head is nice.
No, I have like a little dip,so that's why I've been reading
my book.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Yeah, ok, like a little calligrapher.
Yeah, everybody's like close in.
No Wait, where is this?
Show me.
See I start middle part andthen like three days later I end
up at like the kind of offcenter.
Yeah.
And I go more to the side, andthen ponytail.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Yeah, that's mine.
I've been rocking the middlepart Because you know, like
middle part versus side part issupposed to tell your age a
little bit.
No, because you knowmillennials be on the side part.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
I thought side parts came back though.
I mean, they just came backlike a few months ago Maybe.
Yeah, I think Kim wore one inthere.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
Oh OK.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Oh Parts, she decides everything.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
Well, speaking of beauty trends and all the things
that you guys don't know whoRay is.
Let's brag on her for a bit.
She is the OG YouTuber.
She is that girl, but she'sstill really young.
Yes, yes, I am, she is thatgirl and we're just so excited
to have you here.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
I'm excited to be here.
This is fun.
What made you say yes?
What made you show up?
Ok, I was telling her earlierthat I actually didn't want to
do it, but I did.
I did in my heart, but I justdon't take it personally.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
I don't take it personally.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
With this stuff and I haven't done anything like this
in a really long time.
So I get super anxious.
That's another thing about me.
I hide it and I get quiet, butI'm extremely anxious.
My mind is all over the place.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
So I was like do I really want to do this?
Is it myself to that stress?
Speaker 2 (06:58):
But then I was like, let's just do it OK.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
I'm happy I'm here.
Yeah, you happy now?
Yeah, ok.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
Good, I'm like we're really, you know we're cool,
we're cool, we're cool.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
All right, so I have a question.
Ok, being that you are thebeauty guru, everybody pretty
much always probably talks toyou about all of those things.
What is a topic that you don'tget asked about but you wish you
had the opportunity to discussmore openly?
Speaker 2 (07:25):
That's a good question I feel like more of,
because I'm like so private, Idon't like nosy people, I don't
even know who's with me.
That's a lot too, all thequestions Right.
Yeah, probably like mybackground and where I'm from.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Oh, From New York.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Yeah, no, but more of just like how my family is.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Like how?
Speaker 2 (07:49):
because it's crazy when I meet people and they hear
my story about my family andhow I was raised and like the
things that I've gone throughand seen, they're just like how
are?
Speaker 1 (07:58):
you standing, so you know what's next.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
It doesn't make sense .
I need to.
No, seriously, we need to know.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Yeah, now I need to for you to say it so I can say
that doesn't make sense.
What's your therapy session?
What's the TLDR?
Speaker 3 (08:10):
Yeah, it's a lot, it's a lot, it's a lot.
Well, if you could say, likefor somebody who maybe had the
same background or evenupbringing, that you did like.
What would you say to them?
Speaker 2 (08:27):
I would say If in that moment, you have a dream or
there's something that you wantto pursue and you really have,
like, the odds stacked againstyou, you're used to seeing a
certain lifestyle, used toseeing people, friends, get
murdered.
Yeah, you know, things happeninto your mom Almost being taken
(08:47):
away from your mom because yourfamily calls Child protective
services just because you know,my mom's like the black sheep of
her family, yeah.
So I've seen like a lot of crazythings that I thought was
normal.
And then, like talking to otherpeople, they're like are you
okay?
Yeah, you know that's not okay,that's not normal.
So I would just say that younever know, whatever dream you
have, whatever you want topursue, like it could happen.
(09:09):
I would have never in a millionyears think I would be here
like if God literally showed meI'd be like listen, I know you
got, but you lying, that's notgonna happen, but it happened.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
So, yeah, I was gonna ask if you ever experienced
some posture syndrome, butclearly all clear, I so how do?
You push through it because youknow that's usually what stops.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Yeah, yeah like.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
I know you self lies, I know I literally have to lie
to myself like sometimes I do alittle side.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
No, I'd be like God.
I don't really, you know, Idon't really talk like this, but
I just got to tell myself this,right now I'd be like you, that
, you that girl.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
You, even though my head every like, are you sure?
Speaker 2 (09:49):
But?
I'm like no, I have to tellmyself that because then, like
today, I wouldn't have showed up.
Honestly, I feel like that'sthe imposter syndrome kicking in
, where I just don't feel like Ideserve it or belong.
Why do they want to talk to?
Speaker 1 (10:01):
me.
Yeah, yeah, no, that's how wefeel.
We're like.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
Like yes we literally had that conversation yesterday
.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
We're like why?
Why do people say yes?
Speaker 3 (10:17):
Yeah, I agree it's.
It's one of those things too.
First of all, I applaud you forpushing through, because you
don't know who you're helping tolike.
There's so many people outthere.
I know, like I told you earlier, I've been following you
forever and I think when you seelike you have that little girl,
or you know that young woman atthat point, yeah, who wants to
(10:39):
do more, who is Aspiring, andnow we're mothers and you know,
when you become a mom, yourpriorities change, your dreams
change and all that stuff, andso it's like you have to, like
push through.
You do, but it's hard.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
It's hard.
I don't want to do this yeahand that's why we are here.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
It's like to be able to help other people, because
just watching the person to sayI made it is like Chefs kiss a
big thing I was gonna say how isyour daughter changed how you
work?
Speaker 1 (11:10):
because I think about that often With noble, because
I get imposter syndrome in and,for example, if someone invited
me to something if they give metoo much time, I'm gonna talk
myself out of it like I need thenight before, so I don't like
Literally, but it's a lot oftimes.
What convinces me to do thingsnow is what she's gonna see when
she's older.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
I want her to be like how does Zoe like Motivate?
I feel like she motivates me,like you said, to continue even
during the times when I don'twant to, because they're like
there's moments where evensometimes I'm like I don't feel
like doing the social mediastuff, like I'm going to quit,
like I just get tired and theimposter syndrome really gets
bad and kicks in.
But then when I look at her andthen when she's asking me for
(11:49):
all these new toys and stuff andshe wants to go on all these
adventures so she just helps me,want to become a better me and
push myself, when I see her andhow happy she is, I'm like I did
that.
Yeah, that's one thing that,like, no one can take away from
me.
I can say, like how?
Happy she is.
I did that, yeah, so I have to.
Whatever I'm doing, I'm doingthe right, clearly.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
Yeah, I love that and I think it's important to be
able to say that, because Ithink sometimes we we don't want
to like be proud.
Yeah, you know what I'm saying,like it's like you know we're
cocky or whatever, but no, likebrag on yourself.
I think what's one of thethings that we really try to
Celebrate is brag on yourself,like be confident, cuz, who else
(12:32):
is gonna do it?
Yeah, sometimes it's just youthat has that.
You know, that's encouragingyourself and that's what you
need.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
It's just you that sees all the things Behind the
scenes.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Yes, so you have to you know, my thing lately has
been saying like we are so goodat lying to ourselves about like
Bad things, like I'm not goodenough, I'm not like, why not
lie to ourselves about goodthings?
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Yeah we're gonna lie to ourselves.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
Which is probably true.
You know the girl that girl wasbeing a single motherhood.
What have been some of thethings that you have learned
through this Journey?
Because no one goes into likerelationships and has kids
thinking that they're gonna be asingle mom, yeah, I mean.
So what have been the biggestlike takeaways?
Speaker 2 (13:26):
I'd say the biggest takeaway for me Was realizing I
really have to know and learnmyself before.
I do anything or get into arelationship with anyone and I'm
on that journey now because Iwas married and with that person
for so long but I feel likeit's just given me a lot of
(13:47):
information that I can pass downto Zoe too, yeah, so that I can
kind of protect her as much asI can from you know anything
like that happening.
But I feel like I just want totake life slow now and enjoy the
moments.
I'm always in a rush, yeah, andI'm always trying to like check
everything off of my list so Ican feel like I'm accomplished
in life, yeah, and I noticedthat for me, and I feel like for
(14:10):
other people when they do that,it's like you're not really
enjoying it and finding yourhappiness.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
You're just trying to get to a point of the
accomplishment, yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
And then it's like, okay, now what?
Speaker 1 (14:17):
You do that, so you always have to strive for
something.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
So that's what I feel like has taught me a lot.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
How do you make the decision that you are better off
being a single parent thanstaying in a marriage?
You know how like people arelike stay together for the kids
or whatever.
How do you decide like?
This is it?
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Yeah, I feel like for me, the whole stay for the kids
stuff to me I don't know.
I think it's ridiculous becauseyou get to see everything
that's happening behind thescenes when you're a child.
You're experiencing all that.
My promise to myself.
I said no matter what, I don'tcare who you are.
If it gets to a point where weare arguing in front of our
daughter or if it's anythinghostile, anything that's going
(14:55):
to affect her or give her anytrauma, I was like you're gone,
that's what anyone in my life.
Even if it's bringing me toomuch stress, because now, when
I'm stressed, she's looking atme and she's getting into the
age where she's going to be likeare you okay?
Speaker 1 (15:06):
What's going on?
What's wrong?
Why are you crying?
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Obviously, the world isn't perfect.
She's going to see me sometimesfeeling down, but I don't ever
want her to see it be asituation that I'm in control of
, and I can cut out of my lifeyeah.
Speaker 3 (15:17):
Do you feel like you are in a space where you're like
healed?
Speaker 2 (15:22):
No, I'm not fully healed.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
Okay, I feel like.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
I've moved on.
But as far as healing, I thinkas a whole, since this is the
first time me being alone LikeI've never been on my own my
whole life until now.
So I feel kind of like I juststarted college right now and
I'm like there's so many thingsI've never done.
That's why she was out till 233.
I was like, oh okay, this ishow I was doing 10 years ago.
(15:48):
I never did that, so it's cool.
It's like I'm just relearningmyself again which is fun.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
Yeah, I'm seeing what .
Speaker 2 (15:56):
I like to do?
What are my hobbies Like?
What are things I want toexplore?
Speaker 3 (16:00):
What I don't like so it's a fun journey.
I think that's important tolike lean into, because we get
so many comments from singlemoms are like, well, what about
you know?
You guys are always saying like, get a break, and all this
stuff and they're like well, howam I supposed to get a break if
I don't have help?
Or how am I supposed to lovemyself if I don't have time to
(16:20):
even you know?
Think about what I love aboutmyself.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
I'm sick of you guys saying I need self care.
I know I need self care.
Yeah, I know I have time foryeah, yes, yes.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
So what have been like the ways that you were like
okay, I know that without ashadow of doubt, I'm going to
get this, because this is whatI'm doing for me.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Um well, I'm on a bowling league, so that is
that's so cute.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Wait, can you get the ball to like spin?
No, I'm not there yet.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
I'm not there yet because I was perfect and
everything else.
Okay, I just have to perfect mythrow.
I'm on a little swag, um, butyeah, so I do bowling and that's
kind of like been my thing,where I'm like I have to do this
for me.
It's just for me, you know, ithas nothing to do with anybody
else.
I get to have my time andescape and not just focus just
on bowling.
Do you go with?
Speaker 3 (17:05):
friends, are you going to bowl?
Literally, yeah, I have a team.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
Yeah, that is so cute yeah, you guys have like a cute
name.
We're like we're actually we'retrying to figure out a name.
Right now we haven't come upwith one, but yeah, we went to
Vegas, uh-huh, I think, like afew months ago like on a travel
yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
Do you have special shoes.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Yeah, how much shoes Wow.
What color are they?
They're pink and black.
That is so cute.
Yeah, it's cool, it's reallycool.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
I really think that that should be for every mom,
though.
Like pick up, get a hobby, itreally helped you mental.
Oh my gosh, yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Because when we took our little month break, I was
like what am I doing with myself?
I'm just being a mom.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
Yeah, I'm just being a mom.
I'm just being like I needsomething so I can be a good mom
.
I need something for me, so Ican be a great mom.
Exactly that makes sense.
So how is it like managingfriendships?
So you go from marriage whereyour life can be a lot about
like your husband, and then youhave kids, and then you go into
single mom life where you needcommunity and you need
friendships, even when you'remarried.
(18:07):
But we tend to like not waterthem as well when we're married.
So it's like how do you do youhave friends how?
Speaker 2 (18:13):
do I manage that?
I do.
I know I have friends Becausewhen I first moved to Los
Angeles it took me a long timeto make friends.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
I was a homebody.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
So it made sense.
I said I had a house.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
I know, but I had to break in.
You had to be friends with yourstalkers, exactly.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
I feel like being on this new journey of like finding
myself.
Another thing that I love to dois I take myself out to eat or
to lunch.
I literally just go by.
Myself, I set up the bar andget my favorite food and I feel
like doing that and puttingmyself out there has helped me
meet new people, okay, and Ihave new friends now.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
So you probably just be like hey girl, hey, you said
the best and I'm like, hey,you're cool.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
I said no.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
And then literally end up being great friends.
I have met so many great peopleover this past year I can't
even believe it Like realhardcore people who are actually
like there for you, yeah, whichis hard to find.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Yeah, I was going to say so Because somebody would
play the long game.
What were we talking about?
Like some people, you know,they just uh-oh.
We ain't going to like a freshfriend.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
No, I think it's just too like we hear the no new
friends, all that stuff, and Iwas literally going to ask you,
are you team no new friends, oryou are?
You know, I used to be, yeah,okay, I used to be team.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
No new friends.
I had my best friend.
I was like I'm good with her,but then I realized that with
friends friendships in generaleveryone brings something
different to the table for you.
So you have to have multiplefriends, like there's that
friend that you might just havefun with, you guys like to
travel together.
Then there's friends where youknow they can help you
emotionally yeah, mommy friends.
(19:47):
So it's like I feel like I havelike a good.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
I got a good melt and pop.
Yeah, people say it's likeharder to make friends when you
get older, once you become aparent, but I found it easier
because you know what you'relooking for.
Like I know the type of peopleI'm not looking for.
A lot of friends I'm lookingfor, like, good, solid friends,
and I've met most of my closestfriends in my nearly 40s 30s.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
I'm not going to say right, I'm not her last year,
yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:14):
We just met last year .
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Wow no way, we met at a conference yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
In March.
I know that is so cool, likebesties.
Speaker 3 (20:22):
Okay, so you got the whole friend thing down, it
seems.
But I will say, with you beinga popular influencer and like I
mean I would say you're prettyfamous, right.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
You don't think you're famous.
You don't go out and peoplerecognize you yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
So what's the what's famous Foster?
Speaker 1 (20:39):
syndrome.
What's famous Drake?
That's famous.
What makes him famous, and notyou, I think it's the magnitude.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
Okay, so with friends , though Wait, wait.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Okay, you got like a million followers.
What's magnitude.
Yeah, so just on one platform.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
I don't know, I think , because I've been doing it for
so long, it's just like andbecause I don't visually see
those people.
It just looks like a number tome.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
Yeah, I'm like I'm not really there.
That's baby.
She said it's just a number.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
No, especially when you think about the like
conversion rate to engagement.
So it's like you're engaged andnever looked like where's my
million likes thing.
I'm always like where y'all at.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Y'all sleeping, I don't know.
Oh, that's so true, okay okay.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
Well, I was gonna ask when it comes to friends, do
you or have you ever had themoment where you're like I don't
want to be friends with peoplebecause I don't know what their
intentions are?
Speaker 2 (21:30):
So I'm actually the opposite and a lot of my friends
, they're the ones in my ear andthey're like you do know.
That person just wants to beyour friend because of who you
are right.
And I'm like no, they're sonice and we have fun.
So in that sense I had to kindof learn the hard way.
I was a little naive where I'mjust such a people person and I
don't obviously I don't look atmyself the way other people
(21:52):
might look at me.
So I made friends with peopleyet and then I realized, okay,
maybe my other friend was rightand she's like told you, they
just want to be your friends,they want to come over to your
house and be nosy and see what'sgoing on.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
I'm like you're not gonna be in any of my content.
It's just me and my nose andall my pics.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
I ain't got nothing.
But, yeah, you'd be surprised.
I mean, especially in LosAngeles, I wouldn't be surprised
at all.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's why.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
I'm like surprised that you just learned going out
to the bar and like making adifference and I hang out by
myself and go to the bar.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
People are gonna be like oh, she does, yeah, which
one Right?
Right Now, I can't, I'm notgoing anymore.
I'm about to start plotting onyou, right, right, no, we're
gonna be friends, let's do somemass prank.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
I'm gonna be friends Right.
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
Yeah, no, but no, we're doing that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's veryimportant.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
Would you say as far as, as you're like kind of, I
feel like this year, just youknow seeing you, you're coming
back out of your shell, you'reyou know doing things.
It's like where, what has gotyou here, like, what are the
things mainly?
Do you have main, like one bigthing that you feel like has
(22:57):
gotten you to the place whereyou are now between motherhood
and just being out of your shell?
Speaker 2 (23:04):
God, no, seriously do this journey.
I feel like I'm not saying Ihad to go through some things,
but I feel like it definitelybrought me back to him, because
I feel like there was a point inmy life where I was super close
to him and I was doing what Ineed to do, what I feel I need
to do for God, and then I justkind of just let everything go.
(23:29):
Yeah, because I was just kind oflike everything bad stuff's
happening, nothing's reallyworking out, and I was like I'm
just going to kind of take abreak.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
Like I was.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
I'm still like I always love God and I know, like
you know, he's the one, but Iwas just like I don't know I
just don't feel like talking toyou right now.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
He was in the backseat, he just had like him
drive.
Yeah, he'd get in the passengerseat Maybe call me and.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
I'd be like I'm kind of busy right now, maybe later
now, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (23:50):
That's for real though that's real and I'm
really glad that you said that,because I think some people are
so hard on themselves and theyfeel like I'm supposed to be
doing this.
And then, of course, you get onsocial media and where you know
, you hear the devotionals andyou hear the inspiration, but
you're like I don't feel that.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
Yeah, literally.
Speaker 3 (24:05):
Like, what do you do when you don't feel it?
Yeah, yeah.
So I said I'm kind of oversocial media lately because I'm
like everybody got the answers.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Everybody has the inspiration.
Speaker 3 (24:12):
And I'm just scrolling.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
I'm like no, you don't.
Speaker 3 (24:14):
Like you don't.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
And like when someone's going to say, like I
don't have the answers.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Yeah, Like this is like I don't.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
But you know, good luck girl, like I'm trying my
best, like you, it's just.
It's just gotten veryoverwhelming, like I got on
threads Threads at first, likethe first week it was real cool.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
Like it felt like old school twins.
Now it's like it's allinspiration.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
So I'm just like you know what They'll copy and paste
it.
At this point I'm like mydaughter's talking about pooping
in above and below is yeah, soI'm like you don't want to do it
, yep, yep, I think it's.
Speaker 3 (24:43):
I think it's good, like we, we do the motivational
Mondays, but they're literalMondays, y'all.
I mean, like I don't gotnothing for you, I'm the one
that needs to be motivated rightnow and I think that that's.
That's okay.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
It's okay to say that , yeah, and I feel like that's
why I'm coming out of my showagain, because I'm someone where
I feel like, because of myplatform, like I need to have an
answer to something yes, andsometimes I'm like I don't know,
y'all, I'm figuring out justlike you.
You probably can you give meadvice.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
You might know more than me yeah, but I think that's
what happened and all theplatforms felt like cause I
think it even happened for us.
You feel like you have to havethe answers Cause before all
staring at you like I don't knowthey're like you have to.
I don't know you have to, soyou said you're not healed yet
what would it look like to behealed?
Like what do you think that is?
Speaker 2 (25:37):
I don't even know, but I'm excited for the moments
you get there, but I feel likemaybe just finding some peace
Like I'm on that journey already, but just finding peace in
everything that has happened inmy life is going to happen in my
life and just really work onenjoying being in the present,
(26:00):
and I feel like that's what Ibattle with a lot.
My brain is just always sittingthere thinking about tomorrow,
10 years from now.
Oh my gosh, I'm gonna die,we're not gonna stay alive.
Oh my gosh, I do this, I dothis.
Oh my gosh, I'm not doing it.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
I'm like we're all just gonna die.
I don't like it.
I'm like we're dead and it'sall black, and then I'm like but
I'm dead, so black doesn'texist.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
So then, what's after ?
Speaker 1 (26:19):
black.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
And then, oh my gosh, it's not.
It's like we're gonna make itto heaven right now.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,no, no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
We're spiraling.
And then I'm like wait, what ifI go to hell?
Oh, my gosh, I'm gonna burn it.
I mean it's too much.
You know, I'm stressed out.
I have a gut, I have my wholemoney.
I'm just like I can't get pastthe black.
I haven't gotten to hell yet.
Yeah, that's it.
I think I'm gonna heaven.
But then what if God's likegirl bye.
Speaker 3 (26:44):
You didn't do anything I told you to do.
There are a lot of.
There are some goodness.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
No, okay, I feel like y'all have gotten my brain.
I literally can't followInspirals of my Mondays, that's
your Mondays.
Then I gotta do my work and I'mlike for what Cause, I don't
even know, cause I'm going tohell.
You about to die.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
So what are we even doing this?
For?
Who do we do this for?
Speaker 2 (27:03):
If I sleep, at least, I go back to sleep when I get
over one.
Speaker 3 (27:07):
I'm like that, I'm just like.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
I'm the same I go to sleep and I wake up.
I'm like reset, Reset.
Speaker 3 (27:13):
it's gonna be two hours later.
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
I'm happy that we all got on our own.
No, we're all on the same page.
Speaker 3 (27:21):
We all spiral.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
Yeah, I should have like prevented late at the black
black doesn't exist part,you're like I just can't get it.
I have to get out of it, please, please, oh man, can we get out
?
Speaker 3 (27:31):
of here.
I don't know.
We're already there.
We have spiraled down thisblack hole Literally, but there
is no black.
I'm gonna chill.
Oh my gosh, I'm sorry, allright.
All right, let's get out of theblack hole, okay, all right,
and let's really start to thinkabout.
I really want to talk about thenew year.
(27:51):
Okay, we are in 2024.
All the girls have goals.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
Yes, you know what I'm saying, are you one?
Speaker 3 (27:59):
of the people that have like you playing your whole
year out, or are you like?
Look, I need to take it one dayAt a time.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
Yeah, I'm the one day at a time kind of person,
because I feel like I will beginto spiral again.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
Yes.
Once I have all these goals andI'm not hitting them when I
want to hit them.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
I at least try to have just like one big goal.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
I feel like for me, it's really like I mentioned
before, just to learn to bepresent.
Okay, that is my goal.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
There's no vision board parties.
Yeah, no, she's in the way Itried it one time and I'm just
like cutting your magazines,she's like this looks cute on
Instagram.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
Exactly, it's a cute moment, but can somebody do it
for me?
Yeah, right.
Speaker 3 (28:44):
They don't even really do magazines anymore too.
How do they do them?
Yeah, they do them on theinternet.
Now On the apps, right, I thinkthey will start making like
apps.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
I'm old.
Yeah, no, you're not old, Ijust that's what they tell old
people no.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
I just feel like no.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
I'm always that like anti resolution and like.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
I'm not really I'm, I'm, I be stressed out, so I
just want to focus in the momentand just get as long as I can
get something done off mychecklist, I'm happy.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
Yeah, I feel that I'm not a resolution person, I'm a
word person.
Speaker 3 (29:14):
But that just started because of church.
Church always has like the wordof the year.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
Yeah, and so mine last year was discipline.
So it's just like anything I do, yeah, be disciplined about it,
like don't give myself outs,don't get lazy, or when I do, go
back to that word.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
Yeah, cause, if you're like, I'm going to work
out every day.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
Yeah, I'm going to bounce out of it, but I'm like
I'm going to be disciplined, soI'm not going to work out every
day, but I'm going to work outWednesdays or I'm going to do
five minutes.
And it's like I can bedisciplined in the things that I
do choose to do.
Speaker 3 (29:41):
Mine was bigger.
Yeah, I was like every time Ithink of something, think bigger
.
Every time I want to dosomething, do it bigger.
I think, cause we I was kind ofsaying this early like we
always, as women and as mothers,we kind of like go with life in
such a way of like just enough,yeah, or if we can just do this
(30:04):
and it's like no, we just thebest, we deserve all of it.
And not just some.
So that was my word.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
So I guess, well, I have to, but one, first one
would be present.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
Okay and consistent.
Speaker 1 (30:17):
Yeah, consistent Every influencer's favorite word
.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
But not even just consistent one content.
Consistent Like with myself.
Yes, I don't care about myself,because I feel like I'm always
focused on just being a mom,where if it's something like
I'll be like I need to find atherapist.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
I'm saying that for the last few months and I'm like
girl, just do it and beconsistent, like things that I
want to do and continue to dothem because I'm somewhere.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
I have to continue to be active and be consistent for
me to be happy and I'verealized that.
Speaker 1 (30:46):
Yeah.
So now I'm going to follow upon you.
Like in two weeks I'm going tobe like keep my own jerk there.
Because you know better help ifyou're just going to like do it
on my own.
Like you can do it, call meaccountable, yeah.
Your friends are not yourtherapist.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
Exactly, they are not your therapist.
No, they are not.
Speaker 1 (31:02):
Because you know, that's just the.
Speaker 3 (31:04):
My journal is my therapist right now.
I wish I could journal.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
You can.
I'm trying, so no, I've tried abillion times and I'm not it.
Speaker 3 (31:12):
But this is what I've been telling people.
Speaker 1 (31:14):
It's like I think we think it has to be like this
whole thing where it has to be afull page.
Yeah, why don't you justjournal like I'm happy today?
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
Yeah, some of my interns are literally like five
sentences.
Really, yeah, like okay, thismorning it was God.
I thank you for just allowingme to even be able to do this
show.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
Great, let's go because you have to practice the
muscles.
Yeah, cuz I think it's like Iused to use, like my I have a
resting D face or whatever, andI'm like this is just my face
and I'm like.
You can always say this is justwho I am or I don't do this,
but you can if you practice yeahand so it's like I started
short journaling and I don't doit every day, but I don't beat
(31:52):
myself up if I haven't done itin five days.
Speaker 3 (31:54):
I don't see.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
I don't do it, I just have to try to catch it.
And then Megan Markle Showed methis personally through her
documentary on Netflix.
Speaker 3 (32:03):
I said you remember, tell me more.
I'm gonna be her friend.
I'm like when were you gonnatell me this?
Speaker 1 (32:10):
So, through her, documentary on Netflix when she
said Blair, but no, they dovideo journaling and it's really
cool because I started doing itlast year and it's like to see
where you were last year or likeit's, the one time it's
actually okay to cry on.
Speaker 3 (32:24):
Yeah, yeah, it is your personal because you can
save them all.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
Your daughter can look at them one day, because.
Like this girl I know she wastalking about.
She tries never to cry in frontof her daughter.
I was like I think it's okay tocry in front of your child and
explain that everybody.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
I will say I'm one of those moms.
You try to hide it, yeah, butshe.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
My thing is like you don't everyone heard it feel
like she has to like yeah.
And I think there's a lesson,because I tell my daughter, like
I'm the first one to say, likewe don't cry about all this, you
need to get it together.
I'm not like let's cry abouteverything.
But I think she's seen me cryand I'll explain.
Like see I get stressed out, orI feel this way.
But this is what I'm trying todo to calm down so that when she
feels that way, she doesn'tfeel like she has to hide.
Speaker 3 (33:03):
I never see my cuz.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
I never saw my mom cry.
Speaker 3 (33:05):
Yeah, so it's like we don't cry yeah, do this but
it's healthy sometimes.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
Yeah, so I think it's just the description right out.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
But yeah, so you can actually cry on camera without
looking like a crazy person.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
I'll be crying on camera and then I'll start
laughing at myself.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
I.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
Swear that is me.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
Look at yourself after you cry.
Like give yourself five minutesafter.
And it's like but yeah, video,video journal is really cool to
like be able to go back to it.
Yeah, one day, you know likekind of like a time capsule.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
Yeah, I like that too , especially with my daughter.
That would be cute to do.
Speaker 3 (34:04):
Yes, now we have our one last question.
This has been amazing.
I can't believe.
I know basically over, yeah,but what do you think moms
actually need to hear?
Speaker 2 (34:14):
Oh, Don't be so hard on yourself.
I know it's so cliche to saybut yeah, it's the truth.
Like you kids alive and healthy.
You're doing well, like you'reshowing up the best you can,
literally like, don't be so hardon yourself.
Yeah, I think that's yeah,that's good.
Speaker 3 (34:34):
It's alive, the baby is alive.
I'm keeping them alive, yes,which is very hard.
It's very hard to take care ofa whole human right, good.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
You're so alive and you baby, yes.
Speaker 3 (34:48):
Because you can be keeping the human alive.
Speaker 1 (34:51):
Yes, and I'm there a lot sometimes yeah, it's like
man we get there, they can careof everybody else.
Yeah, and not yourself take ityourself.
Speaker 3 (35:00):
So that's the lesson of the day.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
That is a lesson.
Speaker 3 (35:02):
Yes, be what you say.
Don't be so hard on yourself,don't be so hard on yourself.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
Don't be so hard on yourself, don't beat yourself up
.
Speaker 3 (35:07):
I love that.
Well, guys, thank you so muchfor watching great, thank you.
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
Thank you, so thank you for your yes, yes, we're so
good.
And the follow through yes,trust me, I understand.
Yeah, yeah, anxiety was like doyou really want to do this?
Speaker 2 (35:24):
Think about it.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
Yes any last thoughts , anything on your mind.
You can say no, but just wantto make sure you I think we're
all good content yeah.
I like that word.
Every Thursday evening we keepthe conversation going on
Instagram live for the mom'sactually after show, so check us
out around 90 15.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
Eastern, yes, eastern .
Yeah, yeah, we got put thebabies to bed.
Yes, we do.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
Nice.
Follow us on Instagram, makesure you like us subscribe to us
.
Speaker 3 (35:59):
You know, share the love, share with another mom or
friend or mom to be yes and wejust appreciate you guys for
watching.
Thank you so much for watchingmom's actually where moms come
to find themselves.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
Hey mom, hey mom, what's up?
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