April 4, 2024 • 40 mins
Hey Ma! This week Ashley West, you may know her as @SouthernWestSunshine, joins us on the couch sharing her journey from 9-5 working mom to how she built a new career from being a viral sensation.
In this episode we talk about:
- the realities of motherhood
- the adjustments we make to keep our marriages thriving amidst motherhood and careers
- the daily decisions that shape our lives
- how we find balance amidst busyness
- shifting from a structured 9 to 5 to the world of content creation.
- the strength found in community, especially for moms seeking support and friendship in our digital age
Ashley shares her dreams and aspirations, reminding us all that we're all in this journey of motherhood together.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I've said this a lot it's my season of yes, mm-hmm,
and I wholeheartedly feel likeif I am going after things that
serve me and my family, thenGod's going to put the stuff
that I'm supposed to be doing inmy path.
Hey Mom, what's up?
Hey Mom, what's up?
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Hey Mom, what's up?
Hey Mom, what's up?
Welcome to Moms.
Actually, I'm Blair and I'mMorgan, and this is our special
guest, Ashley West.
Hey girl.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Oh my gosh, Thank you for having me.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Of course, I've been so excited for you.
Oh, beyond, I keep saying we'regoing to have a time.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Yes, oh, a time that's going to be had?
Yes.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
So can you tell everybody about yourself?
Brag on yourself a little bit,yes.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
I am Ashley West Southern West Sunshine on TikTok
and Instagram, and I'm a mom oftwo, so I have a three year old
and a five year old yes, boyand a girl, walker and Elle.
I do social media now, but bytrade.
I am a speech pathologist Okay,so way back when I did speech
therapy.
(01:07):
So, yeah, that's kind of me ina nutshell.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
I don't want to brag too much.
Is it weird to say I do socialmedia, it is, it is.
That's all You're like.
I do social media.
Listen when.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
I say I'm a content creator there are people like
okay, got it.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Okay.
So, yes, okay, well, get ready,because we are like I said, a
time is about to be had.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Love.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
You're going to have some good conversation, but
before we start, support us,press, subscribe.
Press the subscribe guys.
Yes, come on, that supportsyour favorite mom.
Yes, that's us.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Yes, so we'll give you a second Okay, let's get
started.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
So we're going to start by telling you what these
paddles are for.
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
I love that.
One of our favorite games.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
So if you are new to the platform over here, this is
it's giving motherhood.
So bold means yes, or the firstoption that I say, and then
white means no, or the secondoption.
First answer is always theright answer, so don't think too
hard about it.
Okay, and so we're just goingto get right started Okay.
(02:16):
Right now.
Okay, are you ready?
Yes, okay.
So, mom, have you ever feltlike you're not good enough
compared to other moms?
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Yes, 100%.
And it's not like in apermanent, like I don't feel
good enough or even that I thinkyou just see someone else doing
something and you're like man,I wish I had that in me, but I
feel like I'm good for myparents.
Like my kids, I don't feel badabout myself, but yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
No, I agree with that 100%.
It's the cleaning aspect for me, like you see these perfectly
curated, gorgeous, stark whitehomes and I'm like, yeah, I got
dishes in the sink.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
I got cereal everywhere, but yeah, I feel
like I have to put them down tofeel better.
I'm like their house reallyisn't that clean.
They probably got Kool-Aidstains.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Right, we're only seeing what's in the frame I get
to laugh.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
Yeah, I said no only because, like I beat myself
enough about other things withthe mom situation.
I'm like, no, I am good enough,like I am doing good Other
places maybe not so much Right,but mom wise yeah, no, I'm not.
Oh, I love that.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
No, she's like not doing it.
Yeah, no, okay, next one Do youfeel like kids can sometimes
get in the way of marriage?
Yeah, um, yes, if you let themyour priority, yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
If you let them.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Right.
But, your priorities justnaturally shift.
Yeah, you got to leave them forsomething else.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
I mean considering both of our kids are still in
the bed with us.
I'm just getting ready to saythat.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
Come on, guys, come on.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
I mean we've tried, We've tried.
I mean they'll just end up inthe bed with us.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
No, it's because you're not consistent because
you're like they're going to endup.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
She is a cell gate.
I have a gate, so they havelike a room here, a room here,
and I have a gate in the hallway.
Yes, but now I don't even haveto close the gate.
So at three months they go totheir their own respective rooms
after that and it's hellbecause, yes, I know you have to
get up out of bed and you haveto do all those things.
That's where I, that's where Imessed up and yeah, so I'm like
I was like I'd rather go throughhell for X amount of months to
(04:17):
have the rest of the years.
So I'm very big about that,because I just have heard so
many stories, my friend stillhas like her 10 year old, that
comes in like I mean, it soundsgood, but I'll talk to you in
five years.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
She's like right.
It's so funny because when weso, layla was in the, you know,
she was sleeping in the bedroom.
Because I was single mom.
I'm like I don't, you know, itdoesn't matter to me, you know
whatever.
And then I started dating mynow husband and then, you know,
he, we've moved in together andshe was still kind of like
trickling in and he was like, oh, this doesn't work.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
And so that's what really like stopped it for me.
And then he, immediately oncewe got pregnant with my second,
he was like just let you know,we're not going to start that
habit.
So he was the one really to bevery, very stern on that.
Now our son now he'll come inin the early, early mornings,
but that's not a big dealbecause it's early in the
(05:15):
morning.
But no our kids do not sleep inthe bed, but that's why I said
that they can, because if youdon't really draw that line,
then what time are you actuallyhaving?
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Like.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
I'll see you when you see.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
Because you're already during the day, you're,
you know business as usual andall that and you know it's, and
then you can't do anything atnight because you don't know
when they just go.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
yeah, Listen.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
I'll meet you in the kids bedroom Right, Because
we're like what do you do inthat moment?
Speaker 3 (05:40):
Like are you like daytime or?
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Well, my husband works all the time.
So, it's very much like I'llsee you when I see you, or like
let him fall asleep, so makesure he's not asleep.
Okay, I'll meet you in the kidsroom, so you don't even have
your bedroom.
It's like no no, it's not likeour safe, safe space.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
But it's not our space, that's where you go,
that's the family room, yeah,yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Nothing is secret anymore.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
Got it Okay?
Okay, understood.
Would you say your parenting ismore traditional or more new
age Traditional.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
I'm going to go, I'd say in the middle only because
and not because it's like allthe way, gentle parenting sorry
gentle, parenting things orwhatever, it's, just I talk to
them and I think that'sconsidered new age Like talk to
my kids.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
How are you feeling?
Yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
This is why you can't do this, or what?
That's the most new age, Ithink I really get Totally.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
Same.
I'm exactly the same.
That's why I said I'm morebalanced.
I like to say balancedparenting, because I do keep
some of the tradition of like no, this is what I said.
I said you know, that type ofthing I'm not going to argue
with you or give you too manychoices, but we are going to
communicate.
Yes, you know Love that what'straditional to you.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
Same kind of thing, but we will, and like I haven't
really had the chance.
Like every new season as I age,I'm like, oh, I'm doing this
now.
Like I'm, parenting this way Ihaven't really gotten to the, I
guess, the school age.
I'll just start a kindergarten.
So when I say parenting, it'svery much like no, don't open
the pantry door or whatever.
So talking about feelings andthat is just kind of starting
(07:14):
for me.
That's true.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
It's so interesting because Instagram also makes me
realize, like, am I doingeverything wrong?
Because they're like?
You can't call your kids smartanymore, Because then if you say
smart, it's a lot of pressure,Because then I have to like they
think they have to be smart.
You have to say they'rehardworking, Like it's a lot to
keep up with.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
But then it makes you like think who are you exactly?
Who is the source you know whatI'm saying Like who is credible
enough to really, you know,change things?
Speaker 2 (07:39):
But I hear older people saying like their parents
used to say that, and so theywould like freak out when they
didn't know something.
So it's like I see the theadults.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Yeah, they're the adults.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Yeah, it's what it's hard.
Everything is balanced.
Yes, then there's no such thingas a balance, right, true, 100%
, perfect.
Perfect.
So balance, do the thing thatdoesn't exist, right.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Love that for us and do it well.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Right, it makes the impossible happen.
Do you have a secret stash ofcandy or snacks that the kids
don't know about?
Ooh, no.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
No, I don't, I don't, I should.
No, right.
The only thing I do sometimesis, if it, if there's like a
snack that I absolutely want,it's not that they don't know
about it, I just put it higherin the pantry.
Yes, so I'm like you can seethis, but you know that it's
mine.
No, I never secretly eat it.
You hide out me, but I'm likeyou know that this one is mine,
(08:33):
so you can't have it.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Yeah, I'll move it, just so it doesn't get eaten,
yeah, but again Instagram mademe do this.
I put everything, even candy,in full view and let them have
choices, mm-hmm, because I likecan't stop myself from eating
stuff and I don't want them tohave that issue when they get
older.
So I'm pretty open about, like,eating snacks and all that
stuff because I wasn't allowedto.
So when I do have stuff, I likeoverindulge.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
Binge, yeah, I binge, I don't want that for them,
totally yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
What about you?
I don't, but I will secretlyeat stuff and then tell them
it's spicy if I'm eatingsomething.
Oh yes, I'm like you won't likethis baby.
You're not going to like this.
It's spicy.
You won't like it, and thatkind of stops it right there.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
You'll say they're spicy and they're like.
I'm good they're going to growup saying like I can't eat a
Jolly Rancher, it's spicy.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Yes, literally or even just like basic gum, like
I'm going to.
It's minty.
Yeah, you won't like it.
You're not going to like it,it's too much, it's going to
open up too much.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
They're friends are going to be like, yeah, you're
not inviting you baby, are wedoing our hair perfectly or are
we risking being late to theevent she's doing?
Speaker 2 (09:41):
her hair perfectly.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Now listen, I'm showing up one time.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
I'm an on time girly, ok.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
Like.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
I'm very much that.
So thank God for hateless girls.
Ok, I swear I can sleep in themand I'm like the confidence I
have I can leave the house andlike do you put your heatless
curls?
Speaker 3 (10:00):
like, do you keep them on in the car?
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
OK, she's like right before the event she's sliding
it out, that is no joke.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
I mean I'm telling you I have gone multiple places,
like right before I go throughthe door, I'm taking it out.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Yes, let's say, one day it comes out a little wonky,
are you like you know?
What I'm just kind of like dothis or are you going to be late
?
Would you be late for your hair?
Speaker 1 (10:26):
No, so you would still be on time, I would still
be on time.
Wow, I know, unexpectedly.
That is it, I'm expecting thatthis isn't even a question.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Listen yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
I'm very much like a on-time girl.
Stickler, that was very muchingrained in me.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Okay, my mom and dad for sure, yeah, I'm.
You know I'd be late onaccident, so my hair and my hair
wouldn't look the way I would.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
Yeah, it still wouldn't look good.
Like, why were you late?
Right, it's not adding up.
Yes, the math ain't magic.
It's like you're going to belate at least.
At least make it work, dosomething.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Right Aw.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Making your coffee at home or Starbucks run Making it
at home.
Making it at home.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Yes, now tell you why .
Okay, and I said this earlier,but the closest Starbucks to me
is 30 minutes away.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Oh Well, Starbucks is forced.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Yeah, exactly.
So it's like if I make coffeeat home and I try to do my
little barista things, but I'mvery much a coffee pot girl
cream sugar, and that's it.
So it overwhelms me too toorder at Starbucks.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
I'm in the middle, because I like Starbucks is like
the treat.
Yes, that's me too, but duringthe week I do my coffee at home.
Yes, so on the weekends I'mtotally like, yeah, no.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
Starbucks orders are very like.
We should do like a contentpost and ask everybody their
Starbucks order what their orderis.
It is like I don't think Icould work at Starbucks.
I get over my period.
I'm like what's a?
What do you guys call it Grande?
Yes, the other side is.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
What are they?
It's the ingredients.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
For me, the two pumps of this three the foam, this,
that and the other.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
I'm like I'm overstimulated already.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Like you're going to have to figure this out, but
they do it so well when you knowyou order, they're like okay,
all right, thank you.
Like you didn't ask anything,like you said hello, they're
just like got it.
Got it all down.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
I don't drink coffee.
I've never had a coffee on mylife.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
What I love this moment, that's the only reason
why I tell everybody.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
She doesn't.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Oh my God, she doesn't.
And she stays up until like 3amand then wakes up at 7.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
But I haven't done five hour energy drinks for this
.
I will say that, but usuallywhen I'm up, I'm up, I'm also
afraid of being addicted tosomething.
Yep, totally.
And when people do like coffeecleanses, they usually get a
headache, some stuff thatdoesn't seem fun.
I could see that, yeah, sothat's the only reason it smells
amazing.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
It smells amazing.
Just brew it to smell it.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
Last question yes, all right, botox and filler, or
are we aging grease?
Where's the first one?
Where's that one?
Speaker 1 (12:48):
It's like go me and my Botox appointment three days
ago.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Literally Like oh yes , yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
I've never had Botox or filler before, but I am like
it's not on purpose.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
It's not on purpose.
Well, you look gorgeous, thankyou.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
But I'm ready to, you know, make the appointment for
sure.
I love that, just in caseanybody's watching this.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Botox at any age.
You can start Botox before youget your wrinkles, because it
helps teach your muscles not towrinkle.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Yeah, filler.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
If you are 20 something, please don't do it,
unless you're like doingsomething for your jawline or
maybe your nose, but you alreadyhave a live collagen in your
face.
So what you're doing isstretching your face out and
then, if you don't keep it up,you get filler face and it's
just you start looking 40instead of 23.
So, like, just hold up on thefacial balance Big sister advice
Early 20s yes, love, come on.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Because it's just so sad, it's just so sad, it's just
so sad Doing too much too early, exactly Too much.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
All for it, all for it, yes, all for it, love.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
All for it.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
So now that we have you on our couch and you're
hanging with us, of course, andyou get an opportunity to like
share more about who Ashley Westis.
What's something that you don'tget asked about or that you
don't get to like actually talkabout that you think people
should know about you?
Speaker 1 (14:06):
Yeah, so I don't really showcase a lot.
I mean here recently I'vestarted posting more about it
but I used to sing a lot andmusic was a major part of my
life.
So as a freshman in college Iactually majored in musical
theater.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
So, like all the parents love that, because I
would not pay for my kids to goto college for singing.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
So you must really love to sing.
Rivers is a judge.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Oh, I think you said my husband is, so I was like
really no, oh no.
Yeah, I wouldn't.
You're like judge your mother.
You have great parents.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
Thank you.
Yeah, they were very muchsupportive of that and I got to.
I went to Oklahoma CityUniversity for the first year of
college, got a scholarship, didthe whole thing.
Oh quickly realized I was likecan't make a career out of this.
I did not want to audition forthe rest of my life.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
It's.
It's a lot of rejection.
Oh, that is what I couldn'ttake it.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
My heart was broken.
I put so much of my heart andsoul into every single thing,
every audition, every song every.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
It's not a reflection of how good you are.
Yeah, that's very hard,subjective, yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
So I quickly realized I'm not going to make a career
out of this.
I can't take it.
So transferred over to speechpathology, loved every minute of
it, and people might not knowthat about me as well.
So I worked five years as amedical speech pathologist in
the hospital.
Covid hit and I was pregnant atthe time, so I decided to step
(15:34):
away.
And then that's when TikTok gotstarted.
Wow.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
You were TikTok, yeah your new career yes.
Yes.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
My new family.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Was it like did you start for fun?
Or were you like, hey, we're inthis house and I'm going to see
if I can make something shape,I mean?
Speaker 1 (15:50):
it was literally what makes me laugh.
Okay, we were all very muchlike oh, what's this app that
everybody's downloading inquarantine?
So it was very much like well,I started yodeling.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
Yeah, how are we going to get a yodel from you?
Oh, absolutely, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
She said no, but I will say that kind of started
the ball rolling as far asgetting followers and I'm like,
listen, I'm not trying to beknown as the yodeling girl, but
go to her TikTok.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
But do go to her.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
TikTok, she has like a yodeling section.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
Yodel mom, yes, it sounds so beautiful.
She does not sound like Ricola.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
Right.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
But that's what I sounded like earlier.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
I mean but it was beautiful.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
But it's like hers has like a, like a.
She got a swag.
Yeah, that's what it is she gotlike a swag yodeling yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
But so I did musical theater, and then I also, when I
was growing up, I did a lot ofcountry music as well.
So kind of like the lines wereblurred.
But anyways, that's kind of mystory.
That's good.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
Yeah, that's good, and now you're more in the like
fashion and beauty and lifestyle, motherhood, all the things.
And you're really just givingit to us, and you also started
really being an example, I wouldsay, doing the big sister
advice and all of that.
So what would you say to 20year old you, right now.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
First of all, you wouldn't believe that you'd be
sitting on a couch doing this.
You don't have to have it allfigured out.
Not everything needs to be X, Yand Z by 24, I'm going to be
married and have a kid.
That is not what you need to befocusing on.
You need to be focusing onyourself and making sure you are
(17:41):
good.
I got married when I was 22.
So I was a baby.
We just had our 10-yearanniversary.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
I think if you just need to focus on yourself, you
know, when you're 20, 22, whenpeople are telling you that it
just doesn't make you feel likeyou're fighting against it.
At this age you've gone marriageand kids and you finally, it
clicks so now you try to passthat advice on to a 20-year-old.
(18:13):
Enjoy it.
Enjoy it and try to make itmake sense, Because you don't
realize how much your lifechanges.
But when you're 20, you thinkyou want the marriage and you
want it and you do, but younever get this moment where it's
just about you yes yes.
And then even if you don't getmarried at 22, like, I didn't
(18:34):
get married until I was 29, thewhole time you're kind of
focused on finding your partner,so you're not thinking about
you.
And then you get married andyou're a wife.
So now you've become thisidentity.
Then you have kids and you're amom, and so you've spent your
whole life never actuallyfiguring out who you are.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
I think what helps, too, though, is what we're doing
right here, because you havethe aunties and the you know
random people that will say youknow, enjoy your 20s, and all
that stuff, but they just saythat and they don't say the why
or they don't give, like, theexamples.
So it's been nice to even beable to talk to other women that
are saying like okay, no, thisis what I focused on, this is
(19:12):
what I got to do, and, you know,during that time, this is what
I'm doing now, like that is thething that's important to show
the why, because you know, theysee us and they see us doing all
these things and like but youdid this and you had this, and
like no, I mean, I had mydaughter, my first child, at 20
years old, right, and so I hadto do grow up quick.
(19:34):
I had to grow up quick, but I'mlike no, if I was able to do
this, this, this, I would havebeen even more better off, I
guess, if I was just to be ableto focus and not be forced to
focus, right, 100%.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Totally.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
And then try to balance all the things.
All the things, because youhave to, you know, be growing a
human Exactly While I'm tryingto grow up.
I'm not doing that.
Yes, we're in our.
I'm 31 years old, 32.
Yeah, yeah, you're 32.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
I'm 32.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
And no bowtops.
Yes and no bowtops.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Okay, so I'll take that.
Speaker 3 (20:14):
But yeah, 32 years old and I'm still like 30s, it's
like an advanced 20s?
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Yeah, 100%.
Speaker 3 (20:22):
Well, we still don't really have to figure it out.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Like 20 year old you.
You're like oh, 32 is old.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
Like no, but it feels like it.
Yeah, I mean.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
I'm not at any age.
Well younger ages 30, seemslike now like 50s, young to me.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
I'm like, well, you're only 50.
I was like, okay, girl.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
But before that was about 99 years old, 30 was about
70.
Yeah, so it changed a littlebit.
So, since your life has evolved, so you go from like this nine
to five woman to this socialmedia creator.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Right when it's 20.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Yeah, star 24 hour job, so like I don't know,
that's the start of the day,yeah.
Like you're so busy with yourfamily.
You're so busy with your family.
You're so busy with your family.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
You're so busy with your family.
You're so busy with your family, right?
So I just now so, like I said,just started kindergarten.
My son used to always be withme, yeah, so it was very much
like he was always under my skin.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
I'm going to say under my skin.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
But yes, I mean he was attached to me, so now I'm
working so during the day, and alot of my work is filming.
Yeah, I don't like to put mykids on camera that much.
When I have to, I have to, andit's just part of what I do, but
I want to limit their exposureto that and I don't want them to
see me on my phone constantlyLike that is my major, like
(21:39):
let's not do that but Ultimately, that's what I do now.
So he's just now started goingto a childcare situation and it
has been.
It's been really amazing.
Because I'm able to be contentcreator, Ashley, and then come
three o'clock, I can go back andI can be mom.
(22:01):
And I can feel like Withoutfeeling like you're sweating
your time, and I feelaccomplished like, okay, I
checked all the boxes that Ineed to check today for work and
then now I can put my mom hatback on and really focus on my
children and be present.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
And that's good because people can make you feel
guilty about childcare.
But I'm like if my kid was here, I'd be ignoring them Exactly,
so why not let them play withother kids?
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Yes, 100% so, and he's getting interaction with
other kids, he's gettingsocialization and that just for
me like he's getting to play too, and so it would be very much
like baby, I'll play with you ina minute.
Like I gotta be on my phone, soyeah, it's been nice.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
What's been the adjustments for marriage, though
?
Um?
Speaker 1 (22:38):
we've come to a point where we're like okay, eight
o'clock, no more phones.
Oh, cool, like we have to putthe phones down because we need
some normalcy to like look eachother.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
Yeah, and not hide.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Okay, babe, how was your day?
Because, with social media.
It doesn't shut off.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
No.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
It does not stop and there's always going to be
messages coming through.
What's going on?
This got shared, that gotshared, so and I'm very much a
people pleaser, so like, ifyou're asking me something
online, I'm gonna be like oh,I'm gonna be getting back to you
as soon as possible, but youhave to draw that line so we can
have some time for ourselvesfor sure.
Speaker 3 (23:13):
And now we've burnt out, oh, 100%, yeah, it has to
be sustainable.
So it sounds like you're likebuilding a life of
sustainability, because all ofthis is still pretty new, so
fresh.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
You know, Fresh, yeah , and trying to make sure that
it's like the long and there'sno.
For me it's like there's noblueprint, like yeah, I'm just
like blindly figuring it out.
So now it's like we've kind ofgot a rhythm with it for sure.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
Man, that people pleaser thing can be heavy,
though, because I feel like ifyou're people pleasing, you're
not pleasing someone else, evenwhether that's yourself or your
husband or your kids orsomething.
So it's like getting thatbalance figured out.
You look like you havesomething very important.
Speaker 3 (23:47):
Oh, yeah, yes, I'm gonna hear it.
I'm sorry, guys, I don't knowwhat goes on with my faces
sometimes, but it's insane.
No, but I was really gonna askbecause you were talking about
just your day to day, how thingsgo, and you're even just seeing
you online.
You're like, always like thisand so what does you time?
Like Ashley time look like,Like what is downtime?
Speaker 1 (24:09):
for you.
I love that.
I call it vegging out Okay,vegging out Okay.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
My mom called it that way back when.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
But it's really just where I'm able to take my makeup
off.
My hair is out of my face and aheadband and a sheet mask and
we're watching Netflix and I'mwatching Pride and Prejudice
Like period pieces.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
That is my thing.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
Yeah, like PBS stuff.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Yeah, literally.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Literally I was such a nerd, but that's what that is
for me and I feel bad sayingthis.
But when my husband will worknights and I would get my kids
to sleep, I'm like, oh yes, Iget to get in here, I get to get
ugly and watch Pride andPrejudice.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
Yes yes, no, and would you say like you have
moments where you're kind oflike you have to fill your cup
up in a different way because ofwhether you know, life happens
and things like that.
How is that?
Because I think when people seesomeone who is so positive all
the time, they kind of like feellike man, how does she do it?
(25:13):
Like?
How is she always happy?
Like, what does that look likeon the days that you're not?
So?
Speaker 1 (25:18):
For me, like not every day, is cupcakes and
rainbows, right, like that's,and what you see on social media
is very much a highlight reel.
Right, because no one wants tosee.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
Please don't cry Like oh yeah, that is one thing I
promise.
Yes, so it's like you alsodon't want that.
It can be yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Yeah, but then I keep it.
I try to keep it as relatableas possible and I can show up
and say, yeah, today was notthat day.
It was not a good day, but forme it's the joy of the Lord,
like just constantly being inprayer and like putting all the
glory to him every single day.
And that reflects in my plusI'm ADHD too.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
So it's like very much bouncy all the time.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
But that's what I've found for me.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
No, that definitely helps.
So a second ago, which isactually like five minutes ago,
you talked about like this beingnew, like being a social media
content creator.
Do you have like goals aroundit?
Do you have a long game or isit?
I'm like here for the ride.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
I'm here for the ride .
I have no idea what the endgame is.
I say that a lot.
I'm like don't know where thisis going, but we're here for it.
You're like, as long as theywant me yeah right, and I've
said this a lot it's my seasonof yes and I wholeheartedly feel
like if I am going after thingsthat serve me and my family,
(26:38):
then God's going to put thestuff that I'm supposed to be
doing in my path, and so if I'mshutting those doors that he's
opening, then I'm going to besaying yes to a lot.
So, if it fits my conscious andwhat I see to be good for our
family, you have a dream thing.
You're like you know what, nowthat I'm in it.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
there are certain things that I'm like, oh, I
would love to do that.
Is there anything like that?
Oh, there's multiple things, OK.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
Multiple things.
I mean you want to talk abouttop tier.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
Yeah, top tier, you're the dream.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
OK, ok.
So I mean, there's the makeupdream.
It's like having your makeupdone by celebrity makeup artists
.
Ok, of course, what else?
I love to travel, so going inexotic places going overseas and
getting to bring the family andretiring Zach, my husband, that
would be a big one.
(27:32):
I love that.
Yeah, he works very, very hardfor our family.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
So being able to do that would be a dream.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
This is so ridiculous .
Singing with Dolly Parton.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
Oh, I haven't done Gucci in a decade lately.
That's so hard.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
OK, so Dolly call me.
Yes, no doubt I've always lovedher.
Speaker 3 (27:54):
So yeah, that's some goals I love that, though, I
mean we'll see you to here whenwe're at.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
By this time next year.
Speaker 3 (28:03):
That's it.
That's it, yeah, this time nextyear.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
You just never know.
Well, you look back and you'relike what was I doing last year?
Yeah, Do not what I'm doingright now.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
That's why a lot of stuff like clearly stress exists
, anxiety exists, but I don'tstay there because I'm like what
was I stressing over a year ago?
And I might remember it, butit's not what I'm doing right
now.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
So it's like it's just not the big yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
So am I going to move forward?
Like, what am I going to donext?
I'm not about to sit here likeI can't be one of those and I
know some people do this but youknow, in the bed every day,
just sad about something thathappened yesterday or last week,
like why not do something elseto like change?
Speaker 3 (28:38):
your circumstances.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
But the season of yes , how?
Does it feel when you say yesto something and you know it's
God, but it's not like who youthink you are.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
Like you said yes to something and it's like, ooh,
that's good.
Oh, I love that.
I said yes, but Ooh.
Ok, Well here, recently I gotasked to sing the national
anthem at a rodeo of all things,oh I saw that Did you see that.
Speaker 3 (29:04):
Yes, I saw that.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
OK, so a friend of mine.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
Her husband rides for the PBR and she messaged me and
she was like hey, you want tosing the national anthem?
I was like, please, no, myhusband even grabbed my phone
and he text back yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 3 (29:17):
Good job, good job, good job.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
And I was like she went to school for this, oh my
God.
And ultimately I'm like what'sthe plan here?
Like what's the end game?
Like why am I putting myselfout here and singing the
national anthem as a differentthing?
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Like it is true.
So that's one of the mostjudged it is.
It is.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
You can't just ad-lib all the time.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
No, no.
You got to get a grade Likereally celebrities have gotten
it bad.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
So that would be the biggest example I can think of
here lately that I'm like Godwhat are you doing?
Speaker 3 (29:52):
So she did well, yeah , ok, I'm going to watch it.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
Yes, absolutely yes we all Thank you, but you know
what?
Speaker 3 (29:59):
I love that because it also proves that God is so
strategic and nothing is wasted,because you know when you're
like you went to school for it,you did the thing, and then you
were like, ooh, no, this is notit.
But it's like God was like no,no, no, I'm not finished.
This is a gift that I gave you,and you're still going to use
it.
And I think sometimes, as momstoo, we bury things so deep down
(30:22):
.
Especially if it's a dream orsomething, a passion, and we're
like I can't do that anymore.
I have a family to take care of.
I mean, I did that as soon as Ibecame pregnant.
I had this dream of being onBroadway and doing all these
things.
I was like I'm not going to beable to go to auditions every
week.
I have to take care of a baby.
You know what I'm saying.
But it was like no, but I couldstill use you, I could still do
(30:44):
the thing.
So I want to encourage the momsout there who have buried
dreams and they feel like thatwas a waste of time.
And I did this for a moment.
It was a season.
It was a season.
Now that thing is going to spinthe block.
That's so true.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
Because you can't act shy when Dolly comes up.
Speaker 3 (30:59):
You can't be like oh, I know.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
Dolly comes up, I mean, I mean, but that's so true
, I love that.
That's so, so true.
And, like I said, if you wouldhave told me two or three years
ago, like these seeds that Godhas planted in me, he's bringing
them out now.
And they're making I hopethey're making fruit and it's
like, oh my gosh, I'm seeinghindsight's 2020.
(31:21):
You're like, oh, that's whatthat was for and that's what.
Ok, all the theatrics and theslainists and the dancing.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
Now, but you're using it all.
Speaker 3 (31:32):
Yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Yes, everything.
But how was the adjustment whenyou went from speech
pathologist to this, liketelling your husband or like
your friends?
Speaker 1 (31:40):
Friends I was going to say that, yes, how'd that go?
Speaker 2 (31:42):
Like what'd they?
Speaker 1 (31:42):
think Like, oh, Like I'm doing this full time.
Yeah, I mean, it kind of wasgradual, so it wasn't like OK,
so she's getting more and morequote unquote attention online.
Ok, so it's been good.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
So the poof was already there, yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
Kind of, and I've always been theatrical, I've
been kind of silly, but I'vejust kind of.
But leaving the nine to five tobe silly online is true.
No, that's so true.
Yes, that is so true.
Well, in my time In a good job,in a good job, yeah, my
master's degree is just sittingthere on the fast wire, yeah,
but yeah, no, that, and it'sbeen wild to because, like a
(32:17):
master's degree, I'm not usingit and that's another way.
God's kind of just reframedeverything yeah.
And it's like OK, now you'regoing to do this and try this
out.
Yeah, but yeah, there's piecesof things that I pull from
throughout my life that hashelped me along the way?
Speaker 3 (32:36):
Yeah, have your relationships changed at all,
especially as you become biggerand you know people?
Speaker 1 (32:43):
get weird and I'll be honest, I don't have a lot of
girlfriends OK.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
And it's not that I haven't.
She got married at 22.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
I did.
That is so true.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
Is that why?
Speaker 1 (32:57):
So he's my best friend.
And so it's not that I putwalls up, it's just that if I'm
gonna have extra time to spend,I'm gonna wanna spend it with my
husband, and I'm gonna.
He's my best friend.
Speaker 3 (33:07):
And that makes it.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
I don't do girls nights.
Like I don't do when we live sofar in the country like when
she has her time, she's on thecouch watching TV.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
Yeah, that makes it and I have two sisters.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
So, and if we do go do girly things, that's who I'm
gonna do it with.
Yeah so it's very much that,but I always keep my heart open
and always keep my I can befriends with anybody.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
Yeah, literally, Like clearly there's no judgment.
I just started.
I've always had like friends,but once I got married, like I
was, we did everything together,we traveled together, we did
Such a person.
Yeah, and so if I had free time, especially I'm an only child,
so I'm gonna go by myself withthat extra time.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
I'm comfortable by myself.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Very comfortable.
I'll go out to the movies bymyself.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
Listen, I'll eat by myself.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
Like I don't need to wait for anybody to do anything,
so I'm fine.
So if I'm not with him, I'mwith me.
But over the last year I'vedefinitely realized, like, the
importance of girlfriends inthose relationships and so it's
changed a lot and I think that'sbeen really helpful.
But I totally understand.
I was like I'm good.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
I'm good, I'm fine.
Well, and that's something thatmaybe a goal for me too is to
kind of open myself up for thatas well, I was gonna ask you,
because you don't Sometimes thatyou had more, like because
there's no village.
There is zero village for me.
My family lives five hours away, and so it is me.
It's me and my husband, and soit's just very much.
I do miss having a village, butit's hard to make mom friends,
(34:38):
it is, it's very hard.
Elle goes to dance, and so we'llsit out there All the dance.
Moms will sit and talk.
And you know very much that,but I hate small talk.
I am not a small talk person.
Speaker 2 (34:49):
I'm so weird.
Speaker 3 (34:50):
I was like you do the small talk and go home, but
you're not like friends, youknow that one where you're like
there's some meme going aroundthat's like, do you ever leave a
social situation?
And it was like that was not mybest friend.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
Yes, that's me.
That's me all the time,literally, or like I overshared
Majorly.
Speaker 2 (35:06):
Well, that's usually me, because I'm not good at like
the small, small talk.
I just am saying the mostrandom stuff.
Well, I was gonna say somethingrandom, because I always feel
like I had to talk in situationsbecause I don't want the person
to feel like because I can lookreally mean.
So I'm like hey, blah, blah andI'm just talking.
I'm like I really don't want totalk, but we're gonna talk yeah
.
We're gonna talk.
I'm gonna make it weird.
She's gonna have a random bet.
(35:26):
I'm gonna drop the ball on youand walk away.
I got random bets for days.
I love that the hyena one cameto me first.
Speaker 3 (35:32):
Yeah, I'm not gonna do that right now.
Nope, I'll tell y'all, we'llsave it for later.
We'll save it for later.
So, okay, a village is thething, because you know what?
Yeah, we on our platform, wetalk so much about community and
village and I think we get thatcomment a lot about.
Well, okay, you guys talk abouta village, but how are you
making friends?
Like, as soon as I became a mom, it's actually when I lost my
(35:55):
village.
Like, did you?
But you probably didn't reallyeven experience that Well, and
that's why TikTok's been sobeautiful.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
Okay For me, because it's given me this sense of
community.
You're like I got my internetfriends.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
Yes, I love that.
It's actually my thing.
Speaker 3 (36:06):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
Don't underestimate internet friends, they are.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
I hope that they feel the same way, like that it's
reciprocated and it's very muchlike your wins are my wins, like
I want to support you and liftyou up and that's what's been
beautiful for me too, cause it'slike I can sit down and do
girly things with girls.
Yeah, but I don't have to goout.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
Yeah, that's why I'm like, that's why I'm all with
you.
Before, like this past year, Iwas definitely like an internet
girly person.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
I'm like people are so like.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
It's just so easy we get to have all these
conversations.
I watch a lot of TV.
We can talk about that.
We can do all the things.
We just don't have to like.
Leave the house, yes.
Speaker 1 (36:45):
I'd love to cope with it and I'm it was great.
I want to make it superauthentic too.
Like what you see, is what youget with me, and I'm going to
keep it real with you, like if Ido sponsor stuff, I'm always
going to tell you yeah.
Or like if something's giftedto me which feels icky.
Speaker 3 (37:02):
Sometimes it does, it feels weird.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
I've got boxes come in and, like you know, I always
am like gosh this just lookslike so much surplus.
Speaker 3 (37:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:11):
And like what do you do with all of that?
You know, I'm like it's roughsometimes.
Speaker 2 (37:16):
But I always like to be transparent.
Give a way to your internetfriends.
Yeah, always try, yes, anddonating, because a lot of mom
content is now sponsored content.
So it's like trying to get it.
Like especially the stuff youreally do like but it's an ad
it's like, but this one's real,really, I really like this one.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, totally.
It's like and I always am veryclear to brands I'm like, look,
I'm going to use this for awhile before I decide to work
with you.
Oh, yes, because it's got to beauthentic.
Speaker 3 (37:43):
Because I cannot I can't lie.
I can't lie for anything.
Well, she is definitely real.
If you guys ever guessed oranything like that, she's your
real friend, Like you were, likeshe's my friend, but like in my
head no, not in your head she'syour real friend.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
She's like shoot me DMs.
Yes, I'll try.
I'll try to get to you.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
I promise.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
It's like we're real friends.
Speaker 3 (38:01):
Yes, now we have one last question yes, what do you
think moms actually need to hear?
Speaker 1 (38:08):
Hmm, for me, I feel like moms need to know that it's
OK to take time for yourselfand to not feel guilty about it.
Speaker 2 (38:20):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
And you can still do all the beauty things.
You can still take time foryour hair, like for me, having
that hour to put my makeup on inthe morning is my time.
It is my time to center myself,it's my time to pray, it's my
time to talk with followers.
So there is a little waste inthe back of your head as a mom.
(38:41):
It's like why are you doingthis?
Yeah, Like why are you takingtime?
You're just running kids toschool.
You're just making lunches, butdon't feel guilty about that.
I love that.
Speaker 3 (38:55):
Take time for yourself.
Never feel guilty about it,Because we hear so much when the
moms are like I don't have timeto get all dressed.
That's why we dress up here.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
Yeah, it must be nice to have all the time to do that
, yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
But you have a beautiful makeup room.
So now I know why.
Speaker 3 (39:09):
It's because you're like this is my time.
Yes.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
This is my space.
It's my little, my sheath shed.
Yes, my cave, my cave, yes.
Speaker 2 (39:17):
No, but that now makes more sense, because I was
like, wow, she has a whole roomfor makeup, that's a lot of
makeup.
But now it's like, if that'syour time, like that's my space.
Speaker 1 (39:26):
That's my space, my time is laying in bed longer.
Speaker 2 (39:30):
I feel that too.
That's my time.
That's why the face doesn't getdone in the hairs in a bun
Because I'm like I will wait forthe last 30 seconds when it
gets you on to PeatlessCrawlings.
Speaker 3 (39:37):
Yeah, Ashley, we are so grateful that you have come
and hung out with us.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
Thank you, we just sat in the couch.
Speaker 3 (39:42):
And not only inspired but really just gave your story
too, Because I think it'sreally important to give the mom
the voice that they don't oftenget to share in that way.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
So thank you so much.
Thank you for having meseriously.
I really appreciate you, thankyou.
Speaker 3 (39:58):
We really appreciate you guys.
Make sure if you are notfollowing Ashley, go ahead and
give her a follow.
It's going to be somewhere uphere.
Her handle and make sure ifyou're not following us and you
came by way of Ashley.
Hello, nice to meet you.
Now go ahead and subscribe andget cozy here, ok, but thank you
guys so much for watching Mom's.
Actually, where we're meant tocome to sign in for it,
(40:18):
absolutely Ya-ha.
I've said this a lot it's my season of yes, mm-hmm,
and I wholeheartedly feel likeif I am going after things that
serve me and my family, thenGod's going to put the stuff
that I'm supposed to be doing inmy path.
Hey Mom, what's up?
Hey Mom, what's up?
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Hey Mom, what's up?
Hey Mom, what's up?
Welcome to Moms.
Actually, I'm Blair and I'mMorgan, and this is our special
guest, Ashley West.
Hey girl.
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Oh my gosh, Thank you for having me.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Of course, I've been so excited for you.
Oh, beyond, I keep saying we'regoing to have a time.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Yes, oh, a time that's going to be had?
Yes.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
So can you tell everybody about yourself?
Brag on yourself a little bit,yes.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
I am Ashley West Southern West Sunshine on TikTok
and Instagram, and I'm a mom oftwo, so I have a three year old
and a five year old yes, boyand a girl, walker and Elle.
I do social media now, but bytrade.
I am a speech pathologist Okay,so way back when I did speech
therapy.
(01:07):
So, yeah, that's kind of me ina nutshell.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
I don't want to brag too much.
Is it weird to say I do socialmedia, it is, it is.
That's all You're like.
I do social media.
Listen when.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
I say I'm a content creator there are people like
okay, got it.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Okay.
So, yes, okay, well, get ready,because we are like I said, a
time is about to be had.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Love.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
You're going to have some good conversation, but
before we start, support us,press, subscribe.
Press the subscribe guys.
Yes, come on, that supportsyour favorite mom.
Yes, that's us.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Yes, so we'll give you a second Okay, let's get
started.
Speaker 2 (01:46):
So we're going to start by telling you what these
paddles are for.
Yeah, okay.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
I love that.
One of our favorite games.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
So if you are new to the platform over here, this is
it's giving motherhood.
So bold means yes, or the firstoption that I say, and then
white means no, or the secondoption.
First answer is always theright answer, so don't think too
hard about it.
Okay, and so we're just goingto get right started Okay.
(02:16):
Right now.
Okay, are you ready?
Yes, okay.
So, mom, have you ever feltlike you're not good enough
compared to other moms?
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Yes, 100%.
And it's not like in apermanent, like I don't feel
good enough or even that I thinkyou just see someone else doing
something and you're like man,I wish I had that in me, but I
feel like I'm good for myparents.
Like my kids, I don't feel badabout myself, but yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
No, I agree with that 100%.
It's the cleaning aspect for me, like you see these perfectly
curated, gorgeous, stark whitehomes and I'm like, yeah, I got
dishes in the sink.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
I got cereal everywhere, but yeah, I feel
like I have to put them down tofeel better.
I'm like their house reallyisn't that clean.
They probably got Kool-Aidstains.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
Right, we're only seeing what's in the frame I get
to laugh.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
Yeah, I said no only because, like I beat myself
enough about other things withthe mom situation.
I'm like, no, I am good enough,like I am doing good Other
places maybe not so much Right,but mom wise yeah, no, I'm not.
Oh, I love that.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
No, she's like not doing it.
Yeah, no, okay, next one Do youfeel like kids can sometimes
get in the way of marriage?
Yeah, um, yes, if you let themyour priority, yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
If you let them.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Right.
But, your priorities justnaturally shift.
Yeah, you got to leave them forsomething else.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
I mean considering both of our kids are still in
the bed with us.
I'm just getting ready to saythat.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
Come on, guys, come on.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
I mean we've tried, We've tried.
I mean they'll just end up inthe bed with us.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
No, it's because you're not consistent because
you're like they're going to endup.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
She is a cell gate.
I have a gate, so they havelike a room here, a room here,
and I have a gate in the hallway.
Yes, but now I don't even haveto close the gate.
So at three months they go totheir their own respective rooms
after that and it's hellbecause, yes, I know you have to
get up out of bed and you haveto do all those things.
That's where I, that's where Imessed up and yeah, so I'm like
I was like I'd rather go throughhell for X amount of months to
(04:17):
have the rest of the years.
So I'm very big about that,because I just have heard so
many stories, my friend stillhas like her 10 year old, that
comes in like I mean, it soundsgood, but I'll talk to you in
five years.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
She's like right.
It's so funny because when weso, layla was in the, you know,
she was sleeping in the bedroom.
Because I was single mom.
I'm like I don't, you know, itdoesn't matter to me, you know
whatever.
And then I started dating mynow husband and then, you know,
he, we've moved in together andshe was still kind of like
trickling in and he was like, oh, this doesn't work.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
And so that's what really like stopped it for me.
And then he, immediately oncewe got pregnant with my second,
he was like just let you know,we're not going to start that
habit.
So he was the one really to bevery, very stern on that.
Now our son now he'll come inin the early, early mornings,
but that's not a big dealbecause it's early in the
(05:15):
morning.
But no our kids do not sleep inthe bed, but that's why I said
that they can, because if youdon't really draw that line,
then what time are you actuallyhaving?
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Like.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
I'll see you when you see.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
Because you're already during the day, you're,
you know business as usual andall that and you know it's, and
then you can't do anything atnight because you don't know
when they just go.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
yeah, Listen.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
I'll meet you in the kids bedroom Right, Because
we're like what do you do inthat moment?
Speaker 3 (05:40):
Like are you like daytime or?
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Well, my husband works all the time.
So, it's very much like I'llsee you when I see you, or like
let him fall asleep, so makesure he's not asleep.
Okay, I'll meet you in the kidsroom, so you don't even have
your bedroom.
It's like no no, it's not likeour safe, safe space.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
But it's not our space, that's where you go,
that's the family room, yeah,yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
Nothing is secret anymore.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
Got it Okay?
Okay, understood.
Would you say your parenting ismore traditional or more new
age Traditional.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
I'm going to go, I'd say in the middle only because
and not because it's like allthe way, gentle parenting sorry
gentle, parenting things orwhatever, it's, just I talk to
them and I think that'sconsidered new age Like talk to
my kids.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
How are you feeling?
Yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
This is why you can't do this, or what?
That's the most new age, Ithink I really get Totally.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
Same.
I'm exactly the same.
That's why I said I'm morebalanced.
I like to say balancedparenting, because I do keep
some of the tradition of like no, this is what I said.
I said you know, that type ofthing I'm not going to argue
with you or give you too manychoices, but we are going to
communicate.
Yes, you know Love that what'straditional to you.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
Same kind of thing, but we will, and like I haven't
really had the chance.
Like every new season as I age,I'm like, oh, I'm doing this
now.
Like I'm, parenting this way Ihaven't really gotten to the, I
guess, the school age.
I'll just start a kindergarten.
So when I say parenting, it'svery much like no, don't open
the pantry door or whatever.
So talking about feelings andthat is just kind of starting
(07:14):
for me.
That's true.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
It's so interesting because Instagram also makes me
realize, like, am I doingeverything wrong?
Because they're like?
You can't call your kids smartanymore, Because then if you say
smart, it's a lot of pressure,Because then I have to like they
think they have to be smart.
You have to say they'rehardworking, Like it's a lot to
keep up with.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
But then it makes you like think who are you exactly?
Who is the source you know whatI'm saying Like who is credible
enough to really, you know,change things?
Speaker 2 (07:39):
But I hear older people saying like their parents
used to say that, and so theywould like freak out when they
didn't know something.
So it's like I see the theadults.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Yeah, they're the adults.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Yeah, it's what it's hard.
Everything is balanced.
Yes, then there's no such thingas a balance, right, true, 100%
, perfect.
Perfect.
So balance, do the thing thatdoesn't exist, right.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Love that for us and do it well.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Right, it makes the impossible happen.
Do you have a secret stash ofcandy or snacks that the kids
don't know about?
Ooh, no.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
No, I don't, I don't, I should.
No, right.
The only thing I do sometimesis, if it, if there's like a
snack that I absolutely want,it's not that they don't know
about it, I just put it higherin the pantry.
Yes, so I'm like you can seethis, but you know that it's
mine.
No, I never secretly eat it.
You hide out me, but I'm likeyou know that this one is mine,
(08:33):
so you can't have it.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Yeah, I'll move it, just so it doesn't get eaten,
yeah, but again Instagram mademe do this.
I put everything, even candy,in full view and let them have
choices, mm-hmm, because I likecan't stop myself from eating
stuff and I don't want them tohave that issue when they get
older.
So I'm pretty open about, like,eating snacks and all that
stuff because I wasn't allowedto.
So when I do have stuff, I likeoverindulge.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
Binge, yeah, I binge, I don't want that for them,
totally yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
What about you?
I don't, but I will secretlyeat stuff and then tell them
it's spicy if I'm eatingsomething.
Oh yes, I'm like you won't likethis baby.
You're not going to like this.
It's spicy.
You won't like it, and thatkind of stops it right there.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
You'll say they're spicy and they're like.
I'm good they're going to growup saying like I can't eat a
Jolly Rancher, it's spicy.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Yes, literally or even just like basic gum, like
I'm going to.
It's minty.
Yeah, you won't like it.
You're not going to like it,it's too much, it's going to
open up too much.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
They're friends are going to be like, yeah, you're
not inviting you baby, are wedoing our hair perfectly or are
we risking being late to theevent she's doing?
Speaker 2 (09:41):
her hair perfectly.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
Now listen, I'm showing up one time.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
I'm an on time girly, ok.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
Like.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
I'm very much that.
So thank God for hateless girls.
Ok, I swear I can sleep in themand I'm like the confidence I
have I can leave the house andlike do you put your heatless
curls?
Speaker 3 (10:00):
like, do you keep them on in the car?
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (10:04):
OK, she's like right before the event she's sliding
it out, that is no joke.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
I mean I'm telling you I have gone multiple places,
like right before I go throughthe door, I'm taking it out.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Yes, let's say, one day it comes out a little wonky,
are you like you know?
What I'm just kind of like dothis or are you going to be late
?
Would you be late for your hair?
Speaker 1 (10:26):
No, so you would still be on time, I would still
be on time.
Wow, I know, unexpectedly.
That is it, I'm expecting thatthis isn't even a question.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Listen yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
I'm very much like a on-time girl.
Stickler, that was very muchingrained in me.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Okay, my mom and dad for sure, yeah, I'm.
You know I'd be late onaccident, so my hair and my hair
wouldn't look the way I would.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
Yeah, it still wouldn't look good.
Like, why were you late?
Right, it's not adding up.
Yes, the math ain't magic.
It's like you're going to belate at least.
At least make it work, dosomething.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Right Aw.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Making your coffee at home or Starbucks run Making it
at home.
Making it at home.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Yes, now tell you why .
Okay, and I said this earlier,but the closest Starbucks to me
is 30 minutes away.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Oh Well, Starbucks is forced.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Yeah, exactly.
So it's like if I make coffeeat home and I try to do my
little barista things, but I'mvery much a coffee pot girl
cream sugar, and that's it.
So it overwhelms me too toorder at Starbucks.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
I'm in the middle, because I like Starbucks is like
the treat.
Yes, that's me too, but duringthe week I do my coffee at home.
Yes, so on the weekends I'mtotally like, yeah, no.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
Starbucks orders are very like.
We should do like a contentpost and ask everybody their
Starbucks order what their orderis.
It is like I don't think Icould work at Starbucks.
I get over my period.
I'm like what's a?
What do you guys call it Grande?
Yes, the other side is.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
What are they?
It's the ingredients.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
For me, the two pumps of this three the foam, this,
that and the other.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
I'm like I'm overstimulated already.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Like you're going to have to figure this out, but
they do it so well when you knowyou order, they're like okay,
all right, thank you.
Like you didn't ask anything,like you said hello, they're
just like got it.
Got it all down.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
I don't drink coffee.
I've never had a coffee on mylife.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
What I love this moment, that's the only reason
why I tell everybody.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
She doesn't.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Oh my God, she doesn't.
And she stays up until like 3amand then wakes up at 7.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
But I haven't done five hour energy drinks for this
.
I will say that, but usuallywhen I'm up, I'm up, I'm also
afraid of being addicted tosomething.
Yep, totally.
And when people do like coffeecleanses, they usually get a
headache, some stuff thatdoesn't seem fun.
I could see that, yeah, sothat's the only reason it smells
amazing.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
It smells amazing.
Just brew it to smell it.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
Last question yes, all right, botox and filler, or
are we aging grease?
Where's the first one?
Where's that one?
Speaker 1 (12:48):
It's like go me and my Botox appointment three days
ago.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Literally Like oh yes , yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
I've never had Botox or filler before, but I am like
it's not on purpose.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
It's not on purpose.
Well, you look gorgeous, thankyou.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
But I'm ready to, you know, make the appointment for
sure.
I love that, just in caseanybody's watching this.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Botox at any age.
You can start Botox before youget your wrinkles, because it
helps teach your muscles not towrinkle.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Yeah, filler.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
If you are 20 something, please don't do it,
unless you're like doingsomething for your jawline or
maybe your nose, but you alreadyhave a live collagen in your
face.
So what you're doing isstretching your face out and
then, if you don't keep it up,you get filler face and it's
just you start looking 40instead of 23.
So, like, just hold up on thefacial balance Big sister advice
Early 20s yes, love, come on.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Because it's just so sad, it's just so sad, it's just
so sad Doing too much too early, exactly Too much.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
All for it, all for it, yes, all for it, love.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
All for it.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
So now that we have you on our couch and you're
hanging with us, of course, andyou get an opportunity to like
share more about who Ashley Westis.
What's something that you don'tget asked about or that you
don't get to like actually talkabout that you think people
should know about you?
Speaker 1 (14:06):
Yeah, so I don't really showcase a lot.
I mean here recently I'vestarted posting more about it
but I used to sing a lot andmusic was a major part of my
life.
So as a freshman in college Iactually majored in musical
theater.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
So, like all the parents love that, because I
would not pay for my kids to goto college for singing.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
So you must really love to sing.
Rivers is a judge.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Oh, I think you said my husband is, so I was like
really no, oh no.
Yeah, I wouldn't.
You're like judge your mother.
You have great parents.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
Thank you.
Yeah, they were very muchsupportive of that and I got to.
I went to Oklahoma CityUniversity for the first year of
college, got a scholarship, didthe whole thing.
Oh quickly realized I was likecan't make a career out of this.
I did not want to audition forthe rest of my life.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
It's.
It's a lot of rejection.
Oh, that is what I couldn'ttake it.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
My heart was broken.
I put so much of my heart andsoul into every single thing,
every audition, every song every.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
It's not a reflection of how good you are.
Yeah, that's very hard,subjective, yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
So I quickly realized I'm not going to make a career
out of this.
I can't take it.
So transferred over to speechpathology, loved every minute of
it, and people might not knowthat about me as well.
So I worked five years as amedical speech pathologist in
the hospital.
Covid hit and I was pregnant atthe time, so I decided to step
(15:34):
away.
And then that's when TikTok gotstarted.
Wow.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
You were TikTok, yeah your new career yes.
Yes.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
My new family.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Was it like did you start for fun?
Or were you like, hey, we're inthis house and I'm going to see
if I can make something shape,I mean?
Speaker 1 (15:50):
it was literally what makes me laugh.
Okay, we were all very muchlike oh, what's this app that
everybody's downloading inquarantine?
So it was very much like well,I started yodeling.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
Yeah, how are we going to get a yodel from you?
Oh, absolutely, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
She said no, but I will say that kind of started
the ball rolling as far asgetting followers and I'm like,
listen, I'm not trying to beknown as the yodeling girl, but
go to her TikTok.
Speaker 3 (16:23):
But do go to her.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
TikTok, she has like a yodeling section.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
Yodel mom, yes, it sounds so beautiful.
She does not sound like Ricola.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
Right.
Speaker 3 (16:32):
But that's what I sounded like earlier.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
I mean but it was beautiful.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
But it's like hers has like a, like a.
She got a swag.
Yeah, that's what it is she gotlike a swag yodeling yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
But so I did musical theater, and then I also, when I
was growing up, I did a lot ofcountry music as well.
So kind of like the lines wereblurred.
But anyways, that's kind of mystory.
That's good.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
Yeah, that's good, and now you're more in the like
fashion and beauty and lifestyle, motherhood, all the things.
And you're really just givingit to us, and you also started
really being an example, I wouldsay, doing the big sister
advice and all of that.
So what would you say to 20year old you, right now.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
First of all, you wouldn't believe that you'd be
sitting on a couch doing this.
You don't have to have it allfigured out.
Not everything needs to be X, Yand Z by 24, I'm going to be
married and have a kid.
That is not what you need to befocusing on.
You need to be focusing onyourself and making sure you are
(17:41):
good.
I got married when I was 22.
So I was a baby.
We just had our 10-yearanniversary.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
I think if you just need to focus on yourself, you
know, when you're 20, 22, whenpeople are telling you that it
just doesn't make you feel likeyou're fighting against it.
At this age you've gone marriageand kids and you finally, it
clicks so now you try to passthat advice on to a 20-year-old.
(18:13):
Enjoy it.
Enjoy it and try to make itmake sense, Because you don't
realize how much your lifechanges.
But when you're 20, you thinkyou want the marriage and you
want it and you do, but younever get this moment where it's
just about you yes yes.
And then even if you don't getmarried at 22, like, I didn't
(18:34):
get married until I was 29, thewhole time you're kind of
focused on finding your partner,so you're not thinking about
you.
And then you get married andyou're a wife.
So now you've become thisidentity.
Then you have kids and you're amom, and so you've spent your
whole life never actuallyfiguring out who you are.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
I think what helps, too, though, is what we're doing
right here, because you havethe aunties and the you know
random people that will say youknow, enjoy your 20s, and all
that stuff, but they just saythat and they don't say the why
or they don't give, like, theexamples.
So it's been nice to even beable to talk to other women that
are saying like okay, no, thisis what I focused on, this is
(19:12):
what I got to do, and, you know,during that time, this is what
I'm doing now, like that is thething that's important to show
the why, because you know, theysee us and they see us doing all
these things and like but youdid this and you had this, and
like no, I mean, I had mydaughter, my first child, at 20
years old, right, and so I hadto do grow up quick.
(19:34):
I had to grow up quick, but I'mlike no, if I was able to do
this, this, this, I would havebeen even more better off, I
guess, if I was just to be ableto focus and not be forced to
focus, right, 100%.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Totally.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
And then try to balance all the things.
All the things, because youhave to, you know, be growing a
human Exactly While I'm tryingto grow up.
I'm not doing that.
Yes, we're in our.
I'm 31 years old, 32.
Yeah, yeah, you're 32.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
I'm 32.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
And no bowtops.
Yes and no bowtops.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
Okay, so I'll take that.
Speaker 3 (20:14):
But yeah, 32 years old and I'm still like 30s, it's
like an advanced 20s?
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Yeah, 100%.
Speaker 3 (20:22):
Well, we still don't really have to figure it out.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Like 20 year old you.
You're like oh, 32 is old.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
Like no, but it feels like it.
Yeah, I mean.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
I'm not at any age.
Well younger ages 30, seemslike now like 50s, young to me.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
I'm like, well, you're only 50.
I was like, okay, girl.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
But before that was about 99 years old, 30 was about
70.
Yeah, so it changed a littlebit.
So, since your life has evolved, so you go from like this nine
to five woman to this socialmedia creator.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Right when it's 20.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Yeah, star 24 hour job, so like I don't know,
that's the start of the day,yeah.
Like you're so busy with yourfamily.
You're so busy with your family.
You're so busy with your family.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
You're so busy with your family.
You're so busy with your family, right?
So I just now so, like I said,just started kindergarten.
My son used to always be withme, yeah, so it was very much
like he was always under my skin.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
I'm going to say under my skin.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
But yes, I mean he was attached to me, so now I'm
working so during the day, and alot of my work is filming.
Yeah, I don't like to put mykids on camera that much.
When I have to, I have to, andit's just part of what I do, but
I want to limit their exposureto that and I don't want them to
see me on my phone constantlyLike that is my major, like
(21:39):
let's not do that but Ultimately, that's what I do now.
So he's just now started goingto a childcare situation and it
has been.
It's been really amazing.
Because I'm able to be contentcreator, Ashley, and then come
three o'clock, I can go back andI can be mom.
(22:01):
And I can feel like Withoutfeeling like you're sweating
your time, and I feelaccomplished like, okay, I
checked all the boxes that Ineed to check today for work and
then now I can put my mom hatback on and really focus on my
children and be present.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
And that's good because people can make you feel
guilty about childcare.
But I'm like if my kid was here, I'd be ignoring them Exactly,
so why not let them play withother kids?
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Yes, 100% so, and he's getting interaction with
other kids, he's gettingsocialization and that just for
me like he's getting to play too, and so it would be very much
like baby, I'll play with you ina minute.
Like I gotta be on my phone, soyeah, it's been nice.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
What's been the adjustments for marriage, though
?
Um?
Speaker 1 (22:38):
we've come to a point where we're like okay, eight
o'clock, no more phones.
Oh, cool, like we have to putthe phones down because we need
some normalcy to like look eachother.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
Yeah, and not hide.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Okay, babe, how was your day?
Because, with social media.
It doesn't shut off.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
No.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
It does not stop and there's always going to be
messages coming through.
What's going on?
This got shared, that gotshared, so and I'm very much a
people pleaser, so like, ifyou're asking me something
online, I'm gonna be like oh,I'm gonna be getting back to you
as soon as possible, but youhave to draw that line so we can
have some time for ourselvesfor sure.
Speaker 3 (23:13):
And now we've burnt out, oh, 100%, yeah, it has to
be sustainable.
So it sounds like you're likebuilding a life of
sustainability, because all ofthis is still pretty new, so
fresh.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
You know, Fresh, yeah , and trying to make sure that
it's like the long and there'sno.
For me it's like there's noblueprint, like yeah, I'm just
like blindly figuring it out.
So now it's like we've kind ofgot a rhythm with it for sure.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
Man, that people pleaser thing can be heavy,
though, because I feel like ifyou're people pleasing, you're
not pleasing someone else, evenwhether that's yourself or your
husband or your kids orsomething.
So it's like getting thatbalance figured out.
You look like you havesomething very important.
Speaker 3 (23:47):
Oh, yeah, yes, I'm gonna hear it.
I'm sorry, guys, I don't knowwhat goes on with my faces
sometimes, but it's insane.
No, but I was really gonna askbecause you were talking about
just your day to day, how thingsgo, and you're even just seeing
you online.
You're like, always like thisand so what does you time?
Like Ashley time look like,Like what is downtime?
Speaker 1 (24:09):
for you.
I love that.
I call it vegging out Okay,vegging out Okay.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
My mom called it that way back when.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
But it's really just where I'm able to take my makeup
off.
My hair is out of my face and aheadband and a sheet mask and
we're watching Netflix and I'mwatching Pride and Prejudice
Like period pieces.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
That is my thing.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
Yeah, like PBS stuff.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Yeah, literally.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Literally I was such a nerd, but that's what that is
for me and I feel bad sayingthis.
But when my husband will worknights and I would get my kids
to sleep, I'm like, oh yes, Iget to get in here, I get to get
ugly and watch Pride andPrejudice.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
Yes yes, no, and would you say like you have
moments where you're kind oflike you have to fill your cup
up in a different way because ofwhether you know, life happens
and things like that.
How is that?
Because I think when people seesomeone who is so positive all
the time, they kind of like feellike man, how does she do it?
(25:13):
Like?
How is she always happy?
Like, what does that look likeon the days that you're not?
So?
Speaker 1 (25:18):
For me, like not every day, is cupcakes and
rainbows, right, like that's,and what you see on social media
is very much a highlight reel.
Right, because no one wants tosee.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
Please don't cry Like oh yeah, that is one thing I
promise.
Yes, so it's like you alsodon't want that.
It can be yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Yeah, but then I keep it.
I try to keep it as relatableas possible and I can show up
and say, yeah, today was notthat day.
It was not a good day, but forme it's the joy of the Lord,
like just constantly being inprayer and like putting all the
glory to him every single day.
And that reflects in my plusI'm ADHD too.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
So it's like very much bouncy all the time.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
But that's what I've found for me.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
No, that definitely helps.
So a second ago, which isactually like five minutes ago,
you talked about like this beingnew, like being a social media
content creator.
Do you have like goals aroundit?
Do you have a long game or isit?
I'm like here for the ride.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
I'm here for the ride .
I have no idea what the endgame is.
I say that a lot.
I'm like don't know where thisis going, but we're here for it.
You're like, as long as theywant me yeah right, and I've
said this a lot it's my seasonof yes and I wholeheartedly feel
like if I am going after thingsthat serve me and my family,
(26:38):
then God's going to put thestuff that I'm supposed to be
doing in my path, and so if I'mshutting those doors that he's
opening, then I'm going to besaying yes to a lot.
So, if it fits my conscious andwhat I see to be good for our
family, you have a dream thing.
You're like you know what, nowthat I'm in it.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
there are certain things that I'm like, oh, I
would love to do that.
Is there anything like that?
Oh, there's multiple things, OK.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
Multiple things.
I mean you want to talk abouttop tier.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
Yeah, top tier, you're the dream.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
OK, ok.
So I mean, there's the makeupdream.
It's like having your makeupdone by celebrity makeup artists
.
Ok, of course, what else?
I love to travel, so going inexotic places going overseas and
getting to bring the family andretiring Zach, my husband, that
would be a big one.
(27:32):
I love that.
Yeah, he works very, very hardfor our family.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
So being able to do that would be a dream.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
This is so ridiculous .
Singing with Dolly Parton.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
Oh, I haven't done Gucci in a decade lately.
That's so hard.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
OK, so Dolly call me.
Yes, no doubt I've always lovedher.
Speaker 3 (27:54):
So yeah, that's some goals I love that, though, I
mean we'll see you to here whenwe're at.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
By this time next year.
Speaker 3 (28:03):
That's it.
That's it, yeah, this time nextyear.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
You just never know.
Well, you look back and you'relike what was I doing last year?
Yeah, Do not what I'm doingright now.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
That's why a lot of stuff like clearly stress exists
, anxiety exists, but I don'tstay there because I'm like what
was I stressing over a year ago?
And I might remember it, butit's not what I'm doing right
now.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
So it's like it's just not the big yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
So am I going to move forward?
Like, what am I going to donext?
I'm not about to sit here likeI can't be one of those and I
know some people do this but youknow, in the bed every day,
just sad about something thathappened yesterday or last week,
like why not do something elseto like change?
Speaker 3 (28:38):
your circumstances.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
But the season of yes , how?
Does it feel when you say yesto something and you know it's
God, but it's not like who youthink you are.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
Like you said yes to something and it's like, ooh,
that's good.
Oh, I love that.
I said yes, but Ooh.
Ok, Well here, recently I gotasked to sing the national
anthem at a rodeo of all things,oh I saw that Did you see that.
Speaker 3 (29:04):
Yes, I saw that.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
OK, so a friend of mine.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
Her husband rides for the PBR and she messaged me and
she was like hey, you want tosing the national anthem?
I was like, please, no, myhusband even grabbed my phone
and he text back yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 3 (29:17):
Good job, good job, good job.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
And I was like she went to school for this, oh my
God.
And ultimately I'm like what'sthe plan here?
Like what's the end game?
Like why am I putting myselfout here and singing the
national anthem as a differentthing?
Speaker 2 (29:33):
Like it is true.
So that's one of the mostjudged it is.
It is.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
You can't just ad-lib all the time.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
No, no.
You got to get a grade Likereally celebrities have gotten
it bad.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
So that would be the biggest example I can think of
here lately that I'm like Godwhat are you doing?
Speaker 3 (29:52):
So she did well, yeah , ok, I'm going to watch it.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
Yes, absolutely yes we all Thank you, but you know
what?
Speaker 3 (29:59):
I love that because it also proves that God is so
strategic and nothing is wasted,because you know when you're
like you went to school for it,you did the thing, and then you
were like, ooh, no, this is notit.
But it's like God was like no,no, no, I'm not finished.
This is a gift that I gave you,and you're still going to use
it.
And I think sometimes, as momstoo, we bury things so deep down
(30:22):
.
Especially if it's a dream orsomething, a passion, and we're
like I can't do that anymore.
I have a family to take care of.
I mean, I did that as soon as Ibecame pregnant.
I had this dream of being onBroadway and doing all these
things.
I was like I'm not going to beable to go to auditions every
week.
I have to take care of a baby.
You know what I'm saying.
But it was like no, but I couldstill use you, I could still do
(30:44):
the thing.
So I want to encourage the momsout there who have buried
dreams and they feel like thatwas a waste of time.
And I did this for a moment.
It was a season.
It was a season.
Now that thing is going to spinthe block.
That's so true.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
Because you can't act shy when Dolly comes up.
Speaker 3 (30:59):
You can't be like oh, I know.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
Dolly comes up, I mean, I mean, but that's so true
, I love that.
That's so, so true.
And, like I said, if you wouldhave told me two or three years
ago, like these seeds that Godhas planted in me, he's bringing
them out now.
And they're making I hopethey're making fruit and it's
like, oh my gosh, I'm seeinghindsight's 2020.
(31:21):
You're like, oh, that's whatthat was for and that's what.
Ok, all the theatrics and theslainists and the dancing.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
Now, but you're using it all.
Speaker 3 (31:32):
Yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Yes, everything.
But how was the adjustment whenyou went from speech
pathologist to this, liketelling your husband or like
your friends?
Speaker 1 (31:40):
Friends I was going to say that, yes, how'd that go?
Speaker 2 (31:42):
Like what'd they?
Speaker 1 (31:42):
think Like, oh, Like I'm doing this full time.
Yeah, I mean, it kind of wasgradual, so it wasn't like OK,
so she's getting more and morequote unquote attention online.
Ok, so it's been good.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
So the poof was already there, yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
Kind of, and I've always been theatrical, I've
been kind of silly, but I'vejust kind of.
But leaving the nine to five tobe silly online is true.
No, that's so true.
Yes, that is so true.
Well, in my time In a good job,in a good job, yeah, my
master's degree is just sittingthere on the fast wire, yeah,
but yeah, no, that, and it'sbeen wild to because, like a
(32:17):
master's degree, I'm not usingit and that's another way.
God's kind of just reframedeverything yeah.
And it's like OK, now you'regoing to do this and try this
out.
Yeah, but yeah, there's piecesof things that I pull from
throughout my life that hashelped me along the way?
Speaker 3 (32:36):
Yeah, have your relationships changed at all,
especially as you become biggerand you know people?
Speaker 1 (32:43):
get weird and I'll be honest, I don't have a lot of
girlfriends OK.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
And it's not that I haven't.
She got married at 22.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
I did.
That is so true.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
Is that why?
Speaker 1 (32:57):
So he's my best friend.
And so it's not that I putwalls up, it's just that if I'm
gonna have extra time to spend,I'm gonna wanna spend it with my
husband, and I'm gonna.
He's my best friend.
Speaker 3 (33:07):
And that makes it.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
I don't do girls nights.
Like I don't do when we live sofar in the country like when
she has her time, she's on thecouch watching TV.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
Yeah, that makes it and I have two sisters.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
So, and if we do go do girly things, that's who I'm
gonna do it with.
Yeah so it's very much that,but I always keep my heart open
and always keep my I can befriends with anybody.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
Yeah, literally, Like clearly there's no judgment.
I just started.
I've always had like friends,but once I got married, like I
was, we did everything together,we traveled together, we did
Such a person.
Yeah, and so if I had free time, especially I'm an only child,
so I'm gonna go by myself withthat extra time.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
I'm comfortable by myself.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Very comfortable.
I'll go out to the movies bymyself.
Speaker 1 (33:53):
Listen, I'll eat by myself.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
Like I don't need to wait for anybody to do anything,
so I'm fine.
So if I'm not with him, I'mwith me.
But over the last year I'vedefinitely realized, like, the
importance of girlfriends inthose relationships and so it's
changed a lot and I think that'sbeen really helpful.
But I totally understand.
I was like I'm good.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
I'm good, I'm fine.
Well, and that's something thatmaybe a goal for me too is to
kind of open myself up for thatas well, I was gonna ask you,
because you don't Sometimes thatyou had more, like because
there's no village.
There is zero village for me.
My family lives five hours away, and so it is me.
It's me and my husband, and soit's just very much.
I do miss having a village, butit's hard to make mom friends,
(34:38):
it is, it's very hard.
Elle goes to dance, and so we'llsit out there All the dance.
Moms will sit and talk.
And you know very much that,but I hate small talk.
I am not a small talk person.
Speaker 2 (34:49):
I'm so weird.
Speaker 3 (34:50):
I was like you do the small talk and go home, but
you're not like friends, youknow that one where you're like
there's some meme going aroundthat's like, do you ever leave a
social situation?
And it was like that was not mybest friend.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
Yes, that's me.
That's me all the time,literally, or like I overshared
Majorly.
Speaker 2 (35:06):
Well, that's usually me, because I'm not good at like
the small, small talk.
I just am saying the mostrandom stuff.
Well, I was gonna say somethingrandom, because I always feel
like I had to talk in situationsbecause I don't want the person
to feel like because I can lookreally mean.
So I'm like hey, blah, blah andI'm just talking.
I'm like I really don't want totalk, but we're gonna talk yeah
.
We're gonna talk.
I'm gonna make it weird.
She's gonna have a random bet.
(35:26):
I'm gonna drop the ball on youand walk away.
I got random bets for days.
I love that the hyena one cameto me first.
Speaker 3 (35:32):
Yeah, I'm not gonna do that right now.
Nope, I'll tell y'all, we'llsave it for later.
We'll save it for later.
So, okay, a village is thething, because you know what?
Yeah, we on our platform, wetalk so much about community and
village and I think we get thatcomment a lot about.
Well, okay, you guys talk abouta village, but how are you
making friends?
Like, as soon as I became a mom, it's actually when I lost my
(35:55):
village.
Like, did you?
But you probably didn't reallyeven experience that Well, and
that's why TikTok's been sobeautiful.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
Okay For me, because it's given me this sense of
community.
You're like I got my internetfriends.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
Yes, I love that.
It's actually my thing.
Speaker 3 (36:06):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
Don't underestimate internet friends, they are.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
I hope that they feel the same way, like that it's
reciprocated and it's very muchlike your wins are my wins, like
I want to support you and liftyou up and that's what's been
beautiful for me too, cause it'slike I can sit down and do
girly things with girls.
Yeah, but I don't have to goout.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
Yeah, that's why I'm like, that's why I'm all with
you.
Before, like this past year, Iwas definitely like an internet
girly person.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
I'm like people are so like.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
It's just so easy we get to have all these
conversations.
I watch a lot of TV.
We can talk about that.
We can do all the things.
We just don't have to like.
Leave the house, yes.
Speaker 1 (36:45):
I'd love to cope with it and I'm it was great.
I want to make it superauthentic too.
Like what you see, is what youget with me, and I'm going to
keep it real with you, like if Ido sponsor stuff, I'm always
going to tell you yeah.
Or like if something's giftedto me which feels icky.
Speaker 3 (37:02):
Sometimes it does, it feels weird.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
I've got boxes come in and, like you know, I always
am like gosh this just lookslike so much surplus.
Speaker 3 (37:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (37:11):
And like what do you do with all of that?
You know, I'm like it's roughsometimes.
Speaker 2 (37:16):
But I always like to be transparent.
Give a way to your internetfriends.
Yeah, always try, yes, anddonating, because a lot of mom
content is now sponsored content.
So it's like trying to get it.
Like especially the stuff youreally do like but it's an ad
it's like, but this one's real,really, I really like this one.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, totally.
It's like and I always am veryclear to brands I'm like, look,
I'm going to use this for awhile before I decide to work
with you.
Oh, yes, because it's got to beauthentic.
Speaker 3 (37:43):
Because I cannot I can't lie.
I can't lie for anything.
Well, she is definitely real.
If you guys ever guessed oranything like that, she's your
real friend, Like you were, likeshe's my friend, but like in my
head no, not in your head she'syour real friend.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
She's like shoot me DMs.
Yes, I'll try.
I'll try to get to you.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
I promise.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
It's like we're real friends.
Speaker 3 (38:01):
Yes, now we have one last question yes, what do you
think moms actually need to hear?
Speaker 1 (38:08):
Hmm, for me, I feel like moms need to know that it's
OK to take time for yourselfand to not feel guilty about it.
Speaker 2 (38:20):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
And you can still do all the beauty things.
You can still take time foryour hair, like for me, having
that hour to put my makeup on inthe morning is my time.
It is my time to center myself,it's my time to pray, it's my
time to talk with followers.
So there is a little waste inthe back of your head as a mom.
(38:41):
It's like why are you doingthis?
Yeah, Like why are you takingtime?
You're just running kids toschool.
You're just making lunches, butdon't feel guilty about that.
I love that.
Speaker 3 (38:55):
Take time for yourself.
Never feel guilty about it,Because we hear so much when the
moms are like I don't have timeto get all dressed.
That's why we dress up here.
Speaker 1 (39:02):
Yeah, it must be nice to have all the time to do that
, yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
But you have a beautiful makeup room.
So now I know why.
Speaker 3 (39:09):
It's because you're like this is my time.
Yes.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
This is my space.
It's my little, my sheath shed.
Yes, my cave, my cave, yes.
Speaker 2 (39:17):
No, but that now makes more sense, because I was
like, wow, she has a whole roomfor makeup, that's a lot of
makeup.
But now it's like, if that'syour time, like that's my space.
Speaker 1 (39:26):
That's my space, my time is laying in bed longer.
Speaker 2 (39:30):
I feel that too.
That's my time.
That's why the face doesn't getdone in the hairs in a bun
Because I'm like I will wait forthe last 30 seconds when it
gets you on to PeatlessCrawlings.
Speaker 3 (39:37):
Yeah, Ashley, we are so grateful that you have come
and hung out with us.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
Thank you, we just sat in the couch.
Speaker 3 (39:42):
And not only inspired but really just gave your story
too, Because I think it'sreally important to give the mom
the voice that they don't oftenget to share in that way.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
So thank you so much.
Thank you for having meseriously.
I really appreciate you, thankyou.
Speaker 3 (39:58):
We really appreciate you guys.
Make sure if you are notfollowing Ashley, go ahead and
give her a follow.
It's going to be somewhere uphere.
Her handle and make sure ifyou're not following us and you
came by way of Ashley.
Hello, nice to meet you.
Now go ahead and subscribe andget cozy here, ok, but thank you
guys so much for watching Mom's.
Actually, where we're meant tocome to sign in for it,
(40:18):
absolutely Ya-ha.
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