November 30, 2023 • 29 mins
Hey Ma! We’re hitting rewind and spotlighting our "MA Top 12" — the standout episodes from our first three seasons of Moms Actually. From October 12 to December 28, don’t miss the moments that defined us. Join us as a we take a trip down memory lane as we prepare for Season 4.
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Imagine having your first child as a teen and then, decades later, parenting another set of toddlers. Would you be the same person, the same parent? Join us as we explore the complexities of motherhood through different stages of life with our guests, the phenomenal Emily B. and her daughter, influencer, Taina.
We are discussing:
- Having children decades apart and months apart
- Having children the same time as your child
- Body image after babies
- Preparing your child to become a mother
- The significance of getting to know your children and embracing life's unexpected turns with open arms
- The complexity of motherhood and friendship.
- The struggle of maintaining a balance between being a parent and friend to their children.
★ New Episodes are released on Thursdays on YouTube and Podcast Platforms.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I've been a mom for 24 years, so like having a baby
now and my daughter is a mom andhas a one-year-old too, that's
been the biggest change becauseyou know this is the age where I
should just be, you know, kindof like done hey mom, what's up?
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Speaker 3 (00:29):
Hey mom, where was the last time you sat with
Dwayne Luzara?
It was with everyone.
You know it's really difficultbecause you don't know about the
stuff of it, but the main thing, you see people, you see
pretending to be you know, butyou feel they're just standing
up to it and you don't expect tosubscribe.
(00:49):
It's just, they're juststanding up to your hobbies and
you know you don't think youknow about the stuff of it and
you feel this starts to hit thespot.
You don't know.
It's not like you don't expecttovik that the spots are like
number zero.
Emily B, designer and stylist,and we have Tyena, who is a
beautiful, well-known influencer.
And Emily B has four kids.
Oh yeah, four babies.
(01:09):
Tyena's got two.
Speaker 4 (01:12):
Yes, she has six babies, you guys?
She says so I have six.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
Oh, she's adding up to the other.
Speaker 5 (01:18):
Hold on, I'm not like .
Oh, are you baby?
What did I?
Speaker 1 (01:20):
call you, they call me Mimi, mimi.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
That's cute I love that Mama and Mimi.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
OK.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
OK, so to start this episode, we're going to play a
little game, so this is why wehave these beautiful paddles.
Speaker 5 (01:33):
Oh, I was looking at these.
What is this?
Yeah, the paddles.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
No, we were going to yeah, yeah, but I'll.
So we're going to play a game.
I'm going to ask some questions.
If it is gold, that means yes,you agree.
If it is white, that means no,you don't agree.
If kind of in the middle, youknow, figure it out, but your
first answer is the real answer.
Speaker 5 (01:54):
So just go with it, ok.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
OK.
So the first question Do youlike your body better before
kids or after kids?
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Well, how would you answer that?
Speaker 3 (02:06):
Well, let's say before is gold OK, and after is
white OK.
So I'm going to go with gold.
Speaker 4 (02:11):
I'm going to go with gold, gold Before.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Gold.
Do you think you were selfishbefore kids or after?
Do you think you were moreselfish before kids?
Definitely yes.
Speaker 6 (02:26):
Yeah, no, I didn't have time to be selfish.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
I think I was less selfish.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
I don't even remember what people were saying I'm not
.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
I didn't realize I was selfish until I had kids.
So I might have been selfish,but I didn't know.
Speaker 6 (02:35):
But when I got married, I was going to know For
selfish.
Yeah, you don't feel like I wasselfish.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
No, I felt like I was the most amazing person ever.
I don't even remember.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
This was so long ago.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Yes.
Do you think you have morepatience before kids?
Speaker 4 (02:49):
Yes, or no White Gold , or I mean, how does it feel?
It's just how you're felt.
Yes, not whether it's true.
I haven't had patience yet.
No, no, I didn't have no.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
OK, I have a lot more patience now, Now yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:01):
Did you rent?
Ok, no go.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
Did you enjoy the idea of sex more before kids?
Yes, yes, we helped how diverse.
Are you?
I don't know I'm about to say Idon't know Like a bow yeah.
Did it feel different afterkids?
Speaker 6 (03:20):
Yes, yes, I think so.
Yeah, I did everything.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5 (03:27):
Oh, y'all don't understand the question.
Okay, we're here, I know thatI'm like wait.
No, okay, I'm gonna say pagethis.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
Right you go out more like go out and do more stuff
with your life before kids?
Speaker 5 (03:48):
yes, no, I do way more now yeah, I need to my life
I mean, I was a teenager.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
I go out with more now than before.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Yeah, okay, so some of us have multiple kids, so see
how this one pans out, but didyou plan your babies?
Speaker 6 (04:06):
No, Sort of.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
My kids are gonna get the my birth control face.
Is motherhood what you imaginedit would be?
Yes, yes yo.
I thought I would have it onlove.
I thought it was gonna be easy.
Speaker 5 (04:28):
Yeah, I mean, I love it, but like I didn't know you,
know what I was gonna be what do?
Speaker 3 (04:33):
you think it was gonna be.
Speaker 5 (04:34):
I don't know like I really cannot answer that yeah,
yeah, I didn't know, I just soyou jumped in you.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
yeah, I don't have anything to expect or not expect
exactly so see, when I came inI thought I would have it locked
, cuz I'm very organized, I'mvery together, I can like do 20
things at once.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
I'm not me beat my butt.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
I hated it.
I was running away from my kids.
My Mother-in-law, if she forgotsomething and like and we live
like on the Between two statesif she forgot something in
Georgia and I was in SouthCarolina, I'd be like I'll go
get it for you.
I would drive two hours so Icould get away from my kids.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Yeah, oh wow.
My kids are so spread out, likeeach of my kids are born in a
different decade.
Speaker 4 (05:12):
Oh, wow.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
They're so spread out .
So since you planned it, didyou want?
You wanted them that far apart?
Well, yeah, every time.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
I was like I think it's time.
Speaker 5 (05:27):
Them kids came no.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
No, no, no she asked me five.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Ten years ten years apart, for my first son Is 17
years apart from the second and22 years apart from the last one
, so yeah, Okay, so that's whatI was gonna say when she had my
youngest brother, jonas.
Speaker 5 (06:02):
He's seven.
Yeah, when she had him, thatwas like my first child See my
the oldest one, mm-hmm, johan,he is 14, but we were like
brothers and sisters, like Ididn't raise like it was the
same age yeah but when she hadJonas it was like completely
different.
It was like this is my child,but now that I'm a mom it's like
(06:23):
completely different, becauseit's like that's still my
brother's and you can't youcan't Exactly when I'm done and
then so it's completelydifferent.
Yeah, yeah, that was her baby.
Yeah, but that was my baby.
Speaker 6 (06:34):
That was my first born, oh, like so, emily, I have
a question for you.
Uh-oh, what change had thebiggest impact on you?
What change?
Speaker 1 (06:45):
like in motherhood or well, I think having a baby at
39 you know, I've I've been amom for 24 years, so like Having
a baby now and my daughter is amom and has a one-year-old too,
that's been the biggest changebecause, you know, this is the
age where I should just be, youknow, kind of like done.
Yeah, you know I'm saying so.
I think this is the first timein my life where I don't have a
(07:07):
nanny, like I don't.
I'm like almost like astay-at-home mom.
Wow, yeah, so that this is thebiggest change for me.
It's been, it's been um, lifechanging.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Yeah, and then the pandemic, and you know which was
a pandemic baby.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
So it's been a lot like having kids the same age.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
It's weird.
Speaker 5 (07:26):
I.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Like it's been hard because I try to juggle.
Yes, it's like when she'svisiting me or I'm visiting her.
I still have a baby, so it'snot, but you still gotta be Mimi
.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
But it's not this baby.
Speaker 5 (07:39):
So when she when Okay , when she had my sister, I was
actually pregnant.
I was like seven weeks pregnantand I was like this is gonna be
weird.
I'm like this is gonna be superweird that she's gonna be like
a baby.
Like how many months was shejourney she's like eight months
older than my son.
(08:00):
So it was so weird.
And then when I had the babyand she would come, it was like
she always still had a baby.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
So she couldn't like be a team to me for 100%.
So she dropped our kids offwith grandma, Exactly she still
had a baby.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Well, just imagine now she has two babies and I
still have a baby, so thank Godshe has a nanny.
Speaker 5 (08:21):
It's not like she could just like you're gonna pay
all her time Like she has ababy, so she didn't plan that
for you.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
She didn't plan like she didn't plan the nanny out.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Well, she just left my, she just actually left my
house and she brought her nanny.
Speaker 5 (08:31):
I was like thank God for her nanny Cause how it went
on earth, was I gonna have these?
Speaker 1 (08:34):
three babies in here I don't know.
Speaker 6 (08:36):
So it's a lot.
It's a lot.
My mom and my grandma werepregnant at the same time too.
Are you serious?
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Yeah, so that's kind of similar to me too.
Speaker 6 (08:44):
It was.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
My mom, when she was born, had a one year old.
Yeah, so my mother was also ateam mom.
My mom had me very young, so Ikind of grew up with my mom and
then when my mother had a oneyear old, she was born.
So it was the same thing.
My mom was like I can't babysit, really.
Speaker 5 (09:00):
Yes, and we were like brother.
We act like mothers and sisters.
Yeah, See, I was not only child.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
I don't know any of this.
I just I didn't even grow upwith a cousin.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Like you.
Yeah, I was only.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
Oh, wow, yeah, like the motherhood piece of it,
though, I feel like you guys arenot only like mother and
daughter, but you're likesisters probably yeah.
Speaker 5 (09:21):
Because you're in a relationship, part of it a lot
different I grew up with like wegrew up together.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
I was always kind of like I'm like the cool mom, Like
I was always the open book withher, Always told her all my
business.
She was my little therapist,you know all that.
So now that she's an adult it'slike we're really close.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
Tell her all my business.
That's what I want with mydaughter.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
But she actually we're like we hang, we like the
same stuff, we like the sameclothes, music, we hang out with
the same places.
We actually have a lot ofconflict now Cause she's like I
always introduce her as mydaughter and she gets mad.
She's like you're big, bigdaughter, exactly.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
Like in what sense it's how she does it Okay.
What did she say?
Speaker 5 (09:59):
Your image.
She'll introduce me to her.
She's like this is my daughter,this is my daughter.
Look at my daughter.
Look at her.
Look at her.
This is Tyena.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
She says this is Tyena, my daughter.
Speaker 5 (10:13):
Maybe afterwards.
Not, this is my daughter.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
I can't help it.
I can't help it.
It's like that's what you are,so it's like what else am I
supposed to do?
Speaker 5 (10:21):
It's like but I just feel like when she does that I
feel like a child yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
And she's an adult.
Speaker 4 (10:27):
I'm an adult now, yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
And especially on social media.
She says they always associateher with being my daughter and
she's like I'm an adult.
Speaker 5 (10:34):
Yeah, you know, I'm a mom.
I have my own name, like I'mTyena.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
No but, she's still my daughter.
So how did you prepare yourdaughter Tyena for motherhood?
Like did she give you any?
Speaker 1 (10:47):
names.
Let me tell you this girl,since she's been in the kitchen
since she was 10 years oldcooking, cleaning.
She's very domestic.
She always knew how to doeverything herself.
She does her hair, makeup,everything so it was like she
was always prepared to be a mom.
She used to help me with Jonasand she just has a natural
motherly.
She's a nurturer, so she didn'tneed any advice.
(11:12):
She was already on the money.
But what happened when the babyactually came though.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
Let me tell you.
Speaker 5 (11:20):
OK, so all of my mom's children are very calm.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
Oh, you have my children.
Speaker 5 (11:25):
So my son, when he came out, it was just like why
are you crying?
What is happening?
Like call me at the good clockin the morning, Like he's crying
, We'll be crying together, Meand the baby just crying.
I don't know what to do.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
I drove eight hours to Virginia once because my baby
wouldn't be quiet.
I didn't know what to do.
I drove home to my parents.
Speaker 5 (11:48):
I would call her in the middle of the night like I
don't know what's wrong with him.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
He had college and he was like I had never
experienced it.
I didn't even know what to dowith it.
Speaker 5 (11:56):
No, I took him to the doctor.
They said he had a behavioralissue A baby, yeah, a baby.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
They said oh nothing's wrong with you?
Speaker 3 (12:02):
You never went back to the hospital Did you?
Speaker 1 (12:05):
No, he really did not .
He never went back to thatdoctor.
No, he really did have abehavioral issue.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
No, how does a baby have a behavioral issue?
Speaker 1 (12:13):
Mimi, mimi, he did, he did.
Speaker 5 (12:16):
No, she would call me , I would call my girlfriend,
he'd say no wait, let me tellher He'd give her a run for her
money.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Yeah, she wanted a baby, hey babe.
No, I'm like she got the realdeal, like he was no joke when
he turned four months, hecompletely changed.
Speaker 5 (12:30):
He is the most calm baby.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
And he's so happy.
Speaker 5 (12:34):
So nice, like I don't know, like it was just like him
.
Maybe he was in use of theworld.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
I don't know he's like where am I Put me?
Speaker 5 (12:43):
back in your stomach, oh, no, I got my own baby.
He was hard, it was hard.
And then my boyfriend he has ason already and his son was
nothing like that.
Yeah, he's fine.
I don't know.
Speaker 6 (12:56):
I don't know where you are.
Speaker 5 (12:57):
I don't know how to help you.
So we were both just struggling, but it was like for a good
three months.
But then I got the hang of itand it was like I've never got
the hang of it.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Exactly, I was like girl.
I don't know how you did that.
How many months apart are your?
Speaker 3 (13:12):
kids 11 months and like two weeks I went in month
13 months apart.
I didn't succeed.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
Okay, so how is it having two back to back, like
how close are they?
Speaker 5 (13:25):
They're 11 months and like two weeks apart.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
That's the dream I wanted that.
I wanted that Badly At first.
Speaker 5 (13:33):
I was scared because I'm like I'm a new mom, I don't
know, but you know what?
I don't regret it because Icouldn't like punk out.
Do you get what I'm?
Saying Like you know how babieshit like terrible tunes and
they're like oh, I'm not havingany more kids.
I didn't have a choice.
You're going to experience bothof these.
(13:55):
It's like whatever, so I likeit.
They're going to grow uptogether and be super close.
They're already like superclose, even though my son is a
bully.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
It's just a.
Thing.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
I actually had to ask people if my daughter was a
bully.
I literally asked that onFacebook.
I was like my daughter, a bully.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
He gets close to her, he pulls her hair.
Speaker 5 (14:13):
And while he'll look at you, he'll go to her.
My son pulled out my daughter'swhole brain from her scout.
Speaker 6 (14:17):
That's how boys are.
Yeah, when he was a baby.
Speaker 4 (14:21):
But she's so used to it.
Speaker 5 (14:24):
She's just like, she's like get him.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
She gets older, she's not getting back.
He does the same thing to minetoo.
She's like get him, she's olderand she's still terrified.
Speaker 6 (14:35):
So do you guys have any advice or do you guys have
any encouragement for anyone amom who is just getting into
motherhood or that's been in it,that could really use some
encouragement.
Mine it's just, you just haveto have a lot of patience.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Now there's this whole new thing called gentle
parenting.
I just saw me when you said I'mtrying to have a gentle parent,
but my kids ain't gentle.
I think you just have to knowyour children.
It's like gentle parents andwhatever I mean, that's out the
window with mine.
You just have to know your kids.
(15:11):
You have to have a lot ofpatience.
You're a gentle parent withjourney.
Speaker 5 (15:17):
Oh my God, Okay so now she got it easy.
Oh my gosh, she's going to beable to steal her car at 18.
Sneak out, she has it easy.
Each kid, she gets less, morestern, it's true because, I'm
older now.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
It's like I was first of all.
Tyena was not to.
You know, she was the mostperfect child.
She had an attitude, but shenever did anything like crazy.
I never experienced the crazyteenage stuff.
I was tough on her.
But now, with my daughterjourney, it's just like I don't
(15:52):
know.
I just don't have it in me tobe like rough.
Speaker 4 (15:56):
I'm older now.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
I have a lot more patience.
I have a lot more patience nowas a mom at 17 than I do now at
41.
I'm just a different person.
Speaker 5 (16:05):
Some things my brother said.
Sir, if I said that, I wouldhave got the drag Drag.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
I just learned from my mistakes.
I just learned that you don'thave to do all that.
It's all about communication.
Talk to your kids.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
Are you the mom that you thought you'd be so far?
Speaker 5 (16:26):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
What kind of mom did you think you'd be?
Speaker 5 (16:29):
I thought I was going to be like super like pinkie
mouse, pink cakes and all thefruits and all that.
I thought I was going to belike that until I had my kid I'm
like you know what do you want?
Speaker 3 (16:44):
Let's do it your way.
Well, just so you know, ego'salready makes Mickey Mouse shake
, exactly.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
No, she definitely, she definitely.
I thought she definitely wasgoing to be one of those like
pincers moms.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
That's the word.
It looks cute.
I don't know how they do it Ihave a girlfriend and she's
absolutely.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Her mothering is perfection, yes, and I look at
her bed time at 7.30.
Speaker 5 (17:11):
How do you do it?
Speaker 3 (17:13):
Do you think she's really?
Speaker 1 (17:14):
saying no.
Her is by the book.
Speaker 4 (17:19):
One of the questions we asked, though, in the game is
the body thing.
So we all were like oh, ourbody before baby, the body
before baby and the body afterbaby, like when it comes to the
before and after.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
I should definitely talk about that.
Speaker 4 (17:31):
What's your take on that?
Speaker 5 (17:33):
Okay, so I really liked my body before, but I took
advantage of it because Ididn't know.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
I thought I was fat.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
I'm like.
Speaker 5 (17:42):
no, I was skinny abs like it was perfect body.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
I can't remember, but now, people.
Speaker 5 (17:48):
They say they like my body.
I mean, look at your body.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
They like my weight on me, but I but you're not used
to it.
Speaker 5 (17:55):
I'm not used to it.
Speaker 4 (17:56):
Yeah, yeah, so it's hard, yeah you have moments
where you're like, okay, I don'twant to like, did you?
I don't want to be like tooskinny.
Speaker 5 (18:03):
No, I don't ever want to go back to be a super skinny
like I was super skinny in myface like I don't like that like
.
I like my weight in my face,but you know my stomach when my
first child that's.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
I didn't get stretch marks.
Speaker 5 (18:17):
Yeah, second child, second child.
She stretched me out so bad,I'll steal your beauty.
She stole it all no, she gaveme stretch marks.
I was like oh my god yeah and Ithought that I wasn't gonna
stretch out because I just had ababy.
Yeah, I'm thinking.
I'm still like elastic.
(18:39):
Yeah, no, she stretched me out,yeah you still definitely it's
definitely different, but I'mgetting used to it.
It doesn't like really botheredme like.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
I don't even know.
I was gonna say you were like16, so you're going through
bottom body wasn't even fullydeveloped when I had her yeah,
she was the only child that gaveme stretch marks.
Now they're like not existingwhat about you?
Speaker 6 (19:01):
so far I I think I struggled a lot with like
everything shifting to differentplaces, yeah, and like not
feeling like my most confident,so I'd always used to hide my
body in very loose clothing yeahbut I'm starting to like really
enjoy the weight that I havenow.
I've been four years inmotherhood, so yeah, girl number
(19:23):
.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
I definitely could.
I definitely after this fourthchild.
Like this is the first time andI've had a like a little pouch
and yeah, stomach, and you knowI'm just embracing it.
Speaker 4 (19:32):
I got my ankle.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Okay, she said I got my ankle, I got my, I don't know
, I suck it out real fast, butit's the first time I've had
like a stomach.
Yeah, and I'm okay with that.
Speaker 3 (19:41):
It's like whatever yeah, yeah at this point.
Well, no, I did.
I did smart life.
Oh, I got my boobs reduced.
I did some things to feel oh,that's another thing.
Speaker 5 (19:50):
Yeah, I was completely flat chested.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
Oh, so these are new.
Speaker 5 (19:54):
These are brand new, yes.
Thanks to the babies and I'mlike why are they here?
Yeah, she hates them.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
I hate them.
She's like a reduction.
Speaker 5 (20:03):
I'm not used to them.
Yeah, and I breastfed for alittle bit.
Speaker 3 (20:05):
I was going to say your babies are still young, so
it might yeah, you never know,yeah, sometimes they go away for
people, sometimes they stickaround.
Do you want more?
Oh, yeah.
Speaker 5 (20:14):
I was like a question to ask me right now.
Speaker 4 (20:18):
She said let me live with this Right.
Speaker 5 (20:21):
I'm not sure.
Yeah, I feel like I have mypair, my boy and my girl yeah,
you do, so it's like perfect.
That's what I feel.
Speaker 4 (20:27):
I got one more.
Speaker 5 (20:28):
Can I ask Did you try for the?
Speaker 3 (20:29):
girl or you didn't, yeah, I did?
Speaker 1 (20:32):
I manifested her.
I wanted a girl so bad.
You know her father.
He didn't have a.
You know he raised her, ofcourse, but he didn't have a
little girl biological daughter.
And I always said I wanted fourchildren.
My mother, my grandmother, hadfour kids.
My mom had four kids.
So I was like you know, I was39, like I said so it was like
(20:52):
it's now or never.
So I tried and I got the girlthat I wanted, did you?
Speaker 3 (20:56):
wait to find out, or you found out.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
Immediately.
Oh, you had to know.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
Right, I waited to find out for both of mine.
No.
Speaker 5 (21:03):
I didn't, I didn't ever feel for my first one, my
second one, I was like no, Iwant to know right now I'm not
waiting.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
Yeah, we knew he was a boy.
We knew he was a boy.
I was like it's a boy and Iknew my second was a girl.
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (21:16):
How'd you know?
I don't know, I just knew, Ijust knew something.
I was like no, this is a girl.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Yeah, and it was.
Oh, my gosh.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Now my nephew.
When I was pregnant with myfirst, we all thought it was a
boy, because we only have boysin our family and my nephew
walked up to me he was probablylike three or four and he said
you're having a girl, I can seeher.
And that freaked me out.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
And she ended up being a girl.
Speaker 4 (21:37):
It was really creepy, oh wow, but you know, prophetic
yeah, but You've said a coupleof times like all I know is
being a mom, like I don't knowwhat it was before, but like now
that you're a mom and you'vehad your kids, like do you have
plans for what your life isgoing to look like?
Like you know what I'm saying.
Like after like these it neverends.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
It never ends.
It's not 18 years.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Yeah, my daughter's not even two years.
Speaker 4 (22:01):
You know how some people like they kind of wait,
they feel like they have to waitto like do more with their
lives.
Like we hear it all the timeLike, oh, I have kids, so I got
to like only be a mom.
Like, do you ever?
Do you either one of you everfeel that pressure or you're
like no, I'm going to still livemy life.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
I feel like you know.
You have to know how to juggle.
Speaker 4 (22:20):
You know what?
Speaker 1 (22:20):
I mean, but, like I said, this is the first time
where I don't have help.
Yeah, I need to get some help.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
I was going to say what made you decide that.
Because I need help, Because Iwas just Well, I mean to be
completely transparent.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
I had a nanny for since she was like 10 years old
and she had a stroke, so I hadher for 13 years and she had a
stroke and it completely changedmy life because I realized like
you had help girl.
Speaker 5 (22:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
So this is the first time.
You know, when I had journeywas like you know what I could
do?
This, this is my.
You know it's fine and I'vebeen doing just fine.
Speaker 5 (22:54):
Oh, god bless you, I didn't have an nanny my first
year of parenting.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Yeah, she just got one after the baby.
Speaker 5 (23:01):
I got one literally right when I had her.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (23:05):
Because I was like, no, I need help, my son is a
mama's boy.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (23:10):
Like I would have been struggling.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5 (23:14):
Still like.
Anytime I pick her up, pick herup.
He's like I want some attentiontoo, Like pick me up and it's
just hard.
So, but my first year ofparenting I was.
It was just me, yeah, and mymother-in-law will help me.
God bless you.
Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 4 (23:29):
Did you ever feel like your friendships changed at
all once your motherhood, likewhen you were in the, or do you
feel like I didn't really missthe friendship pieces?
Speaker 3 (23:37):
You already got the answers.
You already got the answersLook at your face.
Speaker 5 (23:41):
None of my friends, well, none of well.
My best friend she has two kidsbut she lives in New York, Okay
, but all of my friends here inLA, none of them have friends.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
I mean none of them have babies, yeah.
Speaker 5 (23:53):
And they're free.
They get to do whatever theywant dinner.
I went through a really toughtime when I had my son because
they wasn't inviting me anyway.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
Oh, that's the worst, but they didn't understand.
Speaker 5 (24:05):
They're like well, you have a baby, I can't invite
you anywhere.
You just had a baby, but Istill want to invite him, yeah.
So I was like yes.
I'm just saying just saying no,you should still invite me.
So that was like really tough,like I would get into it and
I'll be like you don't come andsee my son as much.
That was like a thing with me,but now they're used to it.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
So it's like I was going to say also technically,
like what year was he born?
You had like a baby born in thepandemic.
Speaker 5 (24:32):
Yeah, kind of at the end of the pandemic, yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
It was at the end.
Speaker 5 (24:38):
It was not deep into it.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Okay, yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
People were still coming through they just weren't
coming Well for me.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Having a child as a teen.
You know I got to miss all the.
You know everything.
Oh my God, parties promseverything Hanging out with your
friends.
I never really got.
I got kind of rushed into beingan adult.
So, yeah, my life started after.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
I had her Best thing.
Yeah, not in a way like that,you wouldn't have her.
But what do you think your lifewould be like if you had?
It oh my God, I don't even know.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
Yeah, I have none.
I have and have done everything.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
See, that's why you're her baby, see, right.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
Like I always like hustled and I always was like
you know, this girl I never wantfor anything, so it's like I
always had to make sure that Iyou know, I gave to her, so she
was always my motivation.
So I don't know what life wouldhave been like.
Speaker 3 (25:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
I don't know where it would be yeah, wow, best thing
that ever happened to me.
Oh, so cute.
Speaker 6 (25:35):
No no, no.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
I mean I planned her, like as a teenage I planned her
.
That's a whole nother story.
Speaker 3 (25:40):
She's like you know when you're 16, you think you're
grown?
Speaker 1 (25:43):
Yeah, I mean well my mom had.
I was like I know.
My mom had like a two year oldand a one year old and I was
like slave in the house, Like mymom's going to kill me for
saying this, but I was likealways like cooking and cleaning
my mom's work full time and Iwas like, why, so I have my own?
Speaker 3 (26:00):
baby.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
That's what you said.
Yes, so bad.
Speaker 4 (26:03):
That's supposed to be the motivation not to happen.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
It's so bad, but I had a boyfriend at the time.
Speaker 4 (26:08):
And you got to love too.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
I was like I could do this and I literally planned it
and I had her.
That's how it goes.
And I had yeah my mother wasalways like you better not get
pregnant.
Because, my mom was a teenmama's girl.
Speaker 5 (26:20):
She was like, if you get pregnant, you got to get out
of here.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
I was like, oh, that's all I got to do.
Oh my god, no, oh my god, Iswear, I swear it's horrible.
I was like, oh, so if I getpregnant and I have a baby, I
get to leave.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
With the baby, With the baby.
No, I got pregnant.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
My mom said you ain't going nowhere and I was like,
oh god, backfired on me.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
See, at least you were spoiled with a calm chill
baby.
See how the baby they were,like your baby's, so alert and I
was so excited to hear thatBecause I felt like that meant
my baby was smart and I justrealized that meant my baby was
going to cause me lots of issues.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
Give me a sleepy, calm baby.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
Yeah, she was definitely always a motivation
for me, so I don't know whatlife would have been like yeah,
she's always been there.
Speaker 4 (27:04):
That's so cute.
You guys have been a joy to bewith.
I'm really excited that youguys were able to join us for
our very last episode.
What a way to close it out.
I know you don't like it, butthis month I'm going to get you.
You guys no, seriously, it'sreally nice Because I know for
me I have a daughter, twodaughters, and I always think I
(27:25):
want my baby, my daughters, whenthey grow up, to always want to
hang out with me want to befriends and all of that stuff,
because it is.
I don't understand why peopleare like I don't want to be
friends with my kid.
I do, I do, I do.
Yes, there's going to be acertain amount of parenting and
I'm going to raise them well andall of that, but I absolutely
want to be friends with mydaughters.
(27:47):
So, this is so amazing to see.
It's not always that friendly.
Do y'all argue oh my god, a lotyou want to see, that's part of
friendship.
Speaker 3 (27:56):
Yeah, that's like.
That means someone's beinghonest.
Speaker 5 (27:58):
Yes, yes, but we get along too, yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (28:02):
That's the thing.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
For the most part, yeah, yeah, it's a good balance.
Speaker 4 (28:06):
Yeah, it's a good balance.
Yeah Well, thank you guys.
So much for joining us at MomsActually, where motherhood meets
sisterhood.
We appreciate you and we willsee you next year.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
Bye, that's good, hey Mom, what's up?
Hey Mom, what's up?
Hey Mom?
What's up, hey Mom?
What's up?
Hey Mom?
What's up, hey Mom?
What's up?
Hey Mom?
What's up?
Hey Mom, what's up, hey Mom?
What's up?
(28:39):
Hey Mom, what's up?
Hey Mom, what's up, hey Mom?
Thank you.
I've been a mom for 24 years, so like having a baby
now and my daughter is a mom andhas a one-year-old too, that's
been the biggest change becauseyou know this is the age where I
should just be, you know, kindof like done hey mom, what's up?
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Speaker 3 (00:29):
Hey mom, where was the last time you sat with
Dwayne Luzara?
It was with everyone.
You know it's really difficultbecause you don't know about the
stuff of it, but the main thing, you see people, you see
pretending to be you know, butyou feel they're just standing
up to it and you don't expect tosubscribe.
(00:49):
It's just, they're juststanding up to your hobbies and
you know you don't think youknow about the stuff of it and
you feel this starts to hit thespot.
You don't know.
It's not like you don't expecttovik that the spots are like
number zero.
Emily B, designer and stylist,and we have Tyena, who is a
beautiful, well-known influencer.
And Emily B has four kids.
Oh yeah, four babies.
(01:09):
Tyena's got two.
Speaker 4 (01:12):
Yes, she has six babies, you guys?
She says so I have six.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
Oh, she's adding up to the other.
Speaker 5 (01:18):
Hold on, I'm not like .
Oh, are you baby?
What did I?
Speaker 1 (01:20):
call you, they call me Mimi, mimi.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
That's cute I love that Mama and Mimi.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
OK.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
OK, so to start this episode, we're going to play a
little game, so this is why wehave these beautiful paddles.
Speaker 5 (01:33):
Oh, I was looking at these.
What is this?
Yeah, the paddles.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
No, we were going to yeah, yeah, but I'll.
So we're going to play a game.
I'm going to ask some questions.
If it is gold, that means yes,you agree.
If it is white, that means no,you don't agree.
If kind of in the middle, youknow, figure it out, but your
first answer is the real answer.
Speaker 5 (01:54):
So just go with it, ok.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
OK.
So the first question Do youlike your body better before
kids or after kids?
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Well, how would you answer that?
Speaker 3 (02:06):
Well, let's say before is gold OK, and after is
white OK.
So I'm going to go with gold.
Speaker 4 (02:11):
I'm going to go with gold, gold Before.
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Gold.
Do you think you were selfishbefore kids or after?
Do you think you were moreselfish before kids?
Definitely yes.
Speaker 6 (02:26):
Yeah, no, I didn't have time to be selfish.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
I think I was less selfish.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
I don't even remember what people were saying I'm not
.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
I didn't realize I was selfish until I had kids.
So I might have been selfish,but I didn't know.
Speaker 6 (02:35):
But when I got married, I was going to know For
selfish.
Yeah, you don't feel like I wasselfish.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
No, I felt like I was the most amazing person ever.
I don't even remember.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
This was so long ago.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Yes.
Do you think you have morepatience before kids?
Speaker 4 (02:49):
Yes, or no White Gold , or I mean, how does it feel?
It's just how you're felt.
Yes, not whether it's true.
I haven't had patience yet.
No, no, I didn't have no.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
OK, I have a lot more patience now, Now yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:01):
Did you rent?
Ok, no go.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
Did you enjoy the idea of sex more before kids?
Yes, yes, we helped how diverse.
Are you?
I don't know I'm about to say Idon't know Like a bow yeah.
Did it feel different afterkids?
Speaker 6 (03:20):
Yes, yes, I think so.
Yeah, I did everything.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5 (03:27):
Oh, y'all don't understand the question.
Okay, we're here, I know thatI'm like wait.
No, okay, I'm gonna say pagethis.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
Right you go out more like go out and do more stuff
with your life before kids?
Speaker 5 (03:48):
yes, no, I do way more now yeah, I need to my life
I mean, I was a teenager.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
I go out with more now than before.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Yeah, okay, so some of us have multiple kids, so see
how this one pans out, but didyou plan your babies?
Speaker 6 (04:06):
No, Sort of.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
My kids are gonna get the my birth control face.
Is motherhood what you imaginedit would be?
Yes, yes yo.
I thought I would have it onlove.
I thought it was gonna be easy.
Speaker 5 (04:28):
Yeah, I mean, I love it, but like I didn't know you,
know what I was gonna be what do?
Speaker 3 (04:33):
you think it was gonna be.
Speaker 5 (04:34):
I don't know like I really cannot answer that yeah,
yeah, I didn't know, I just soyou jumped in you.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
yeah, I don't have anything to expect or not expect
exactly so see, when I came inI thought I would have it locked
, cuz I'm very organized, I'mvery together, I can like do 20
things at once.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
I'm not me beat my butt.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
I hated it.
I was running away from my kids.
My Mother-in-law, if she forgotsomething and like and we live
like on the Between two statesif she forgot something in
Georgia and I was in SouthCarolina, I'd be like I'll go
get it for you.
I would drive two hours so Icould get away from my kids.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Yeah, oh wow.
My kids are so spread out, likeeach of my kids are born in a
different decade.
Speaker 4 (05:12):
Oh, wow.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
They're so spread out .
So since you planned it, didyou want?
You wanted them that far apart?
Well, yeah, every time.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
I was like I think it's time.
Speaker 5 (05:27):
Them kids came no.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
No, no, no she asked me five.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Ten years ten years apart, for my first son Is 17
years apart from the second and22 years apart from the last one
, so yeah, Okay, so that's whatI was gonna say when she had my
youngest brother, jonas.
Speaker 5 (06:02):
He's seven.
Yeah, when she had him, thatwas like my first child See my
the oldest one, mm-hmm, johan,he is 14, but we were like
brothers and sisters, like Ididn't raise like it was the
same age yeah but when she hadJonas it was like completely
different.
It was like this is my child,but now that I'm a mom it's like
(06:23):
completely different, becauseit's like that's still my
brother's and you can't youcan't Exactly when I'm done and
then so it's completelydifferent.
Yeah, yeah, that was her baby.
Yeah, but that was my baby.
Speaker 6 (06:34):
That was my first born, oh, like so, emily, I have
a question for you.
Uh-oh, what change had thebiggest impact on you?
What change?
Speaker 1 (06:45):
like in motherhood or well, I think having a baby at
39 you know, I've I've been amom for 24 years, so like Having
a baby now and my daughter is amom and has a one-year-old too,
that's been the biggest changebecause, you know, this is the
age where I should just be, youknow, kind of like done.
Yeah, you know I'm saying so.
I think this is the first timein my life where I don't have a
(07:07):
nanny, like I don't.
I'm like almost like astay-at-home mom.
Wow, yeah, so that this is thebiggest change for me.
It's been, it's been um, lifechanging.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Yeah, and then the pandemic, and you know which was
a pandemic baby.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
So it's been a lot like having kids the same age.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
It's weird.
Speaker 5 (07:26):
I.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Like it's been hard because I try to juggle.
Yes, it's like when she'svisiting me or I'm visiting her.
I still have a baby, so it'snot, but you still gotta be Mimi
.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
But it's not this baby.
Speaker 5 (07:39):
So when she when Okay , when she had my sister, I was
actually pregnant.
I was like seven weeks pregnantand I was like this is gonna be
weird.
I'm like this is gonna be superweird that she's gonna be like
a baby.
Like how many months was shejourney she's like eight months
older than my son.
(08:00):
So it was so weird.
And then when I had the babyand she would come, it was like
she always still had a baby.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
So she couldn't like be a team to me for 100%.
So she dropped our kids offwith grandma, Exactly she still
had a baby.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
Well, just imagine now she has two babies and I
still have a baby, so thank Godshe has a nanny.
Speaker 5 (08:21):
It's not like she could just like you're gonna pay
all her time Like she has ababy, so she didn't plan that
for you.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
She didn't plan like she didn't plan the nanny out.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Well, she just left my, she just actually left my
house and she brought her nanny.
Speaker 5 (08:31):
I was like thank God for her nanny Cause how it went
on earth, was I gonna have these?
Speaker 1 (08:34):
three babies in here I don't know.
Speaker 6 (08:36):
So it's a lot.
It's a lot.
My mom and my grandma werepregnant at the same time too.
Are you serious?
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Yeah, so that's kind of similar to me too.
Speaker 6 (08:44):
It was.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
My mom, when she was born, had a one year old.
Yeah, so my mother was also ateam mom.
My mom had me very young, so Ikind of grew up with my mom and
then when my mother had a oneyear old, she was born.
So it was the same thing.
My mom was like I can't babysit, really.
Speaker 5 (09:00):
Yes, and we were like brother.
We act like mothers and sisters.
Yeah, See, I was not only child.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
I don't know any of this.
I just I didn't even grow upwith a cousin.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Like you.
Yeah, I was only.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
Oh, wow, yeah, like the motherhood piece of it,
though, I feel like you guys arenot only like mother and
daughter, but you're likesisters probably yeah.
Speaker 5 (09:21):
Because you're in a relationship, part of it a lot
different I grew up with like wegrew up together.
Speaker 1 (09:26):
I was always kind of like I'm like the cool mom, Like
I was always the open book withher, Always told her all my
business.
She was my little therapist,you know all that.
So now that she's an adult it'slike we're really close.
Speaker 3 (09:37):
Tell her all my business.
That's what I want with mydaughter.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
But she actually we're like we hang, we like the
same stuff, we like the sameclothes, music, we hang out with
the same places.
We actually have a lot ofconflict now Cause she's like I
always introduce her as mydaughter and she gets mad.
She's like you're big, bigdaughter, exactly.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
Like in what sense it's how she does it Okay.
What did she say?
Speaker 5 (09:59):
Your image.
She'll introduce me to her.
She's like this is my daughter,this is my daughter.
Look at my daughter.
Look at her.
Look at her.
This is Tyena.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
She says this is Tyena, my daughter.
Speaker 5 (10:13):
Maybe afterwards.
Not, this is my daughter.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
I can't help it.
I can't help it.
It's like that's what you are,so it's like what else am I
supposed to do?
Speaker 5 (10:21):
It's like but I just feel like when she does that I
feel like a child yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
And she's an adult.
Speaker 4 (10:27):
I'm an adult now, yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
And especially on social media.
She says they always associateher with being my daughter and
she's like I'm an adult.
Speaker 5 (10:34):
Yeah, you know, I'm a mom.
I have my own name, like I'mTyena.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
No but, she's still my daughter.
So how did you prepare yourdaughter Tyena for motherhood?
Like did she give you any?
Speaker 1 (10:47):
names.
Let me tell you this girl,since she's been in the kitchen
since she was 10 years oldcooking, cleaning.
She's very domestic.
She always knew how to doeverything herself.
She does her hair, makeup,everything so it was like she
was always prepared to be a mom.
She used to help me with Jonasand she just has a natural
motherly.
She's a nurturer, so she didn'tneed any advice.
(11:12):
She was already on the money.
But what happened when the babyactually came though.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
Let me tell you.
Speaker 5 (11:20):
OK, so all of my mom's children are very calm.
Speaker 3 (11:23):
Oh, you have my children.
Speaker 5 (11:25):
So my son, when he came out, it was just like why
are you crying?
What is happening?
Like call me at the good clockin the morning, Like he's crying
, We'll be crying together, Meand the baby just crying.
I don't know what to do.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
I drove eight hours to Virginia once because my baby
wouldn't be quiet.
I didn't know what to do.
I drove home to my parents.
Speaker 5 (11:48):
I would call her in the middle of the night like I
don't know what's wrong with him.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
He had college and he was like I had never
experienced it.
I didn't even know what to dowith it.
Speaker 5 (11:56):
No, I took him to the doctor.
They said he had a behavioralissue A baby, yeah, a baby.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
They said oh nothing's wrong with you?
Speaker 3 (12:02):
You never went back to the hospital Did you?
Speaker 1 (12:05):
No, he really did not .
He never went back to thatdoctor.
No, he really did have abehavioral issue.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
No, how does a baby have a behavioral issue?
Speaker 1 (12:13):
Mimi, mimi, he did, he did.
Speaker 5 (12:16):
No, she would call me , I would call my girlfriend,
he'd say no wait, let me tellher He'd give her a run for her
money.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
Yeah, she wanted a baby, hey babe.
No, I'm like she got the realdeal, like he was no joke when
he turned four months, hecompletely changed.
Speaker 5 (12:30):
He is the most calm baby.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
And he's so happy.
Speaker 5 (12:34):
So nice, like I don't know, like it was just like him
.
Maybe he was in use of theworld.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
I don't know he's like where am I Put me?
Speaker 5 (12:43):
back in your stomach, oh, no, I got my own baby.
He was hard, it was hard.
And then my boyfriend he has ason already and his son was
nothing like that.
Yeah, he's fine.
I don't know.
Speaker 6 (12:56):
I don't know where you are.
Speaker 5 (12:57):
I don't know how to help you.
So we were both just struggling, but it was like for a good
three months.
But then I got the hang of itand it was like I've never got
the hang of it.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
Exactly, I was like girl.
I don't know how you did that.
How many months apart are your?
Speaker 3 (13:12):
kids 11 months and like two weeks I went in month
13 months apart.
I didn't succeed.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
Okay, so how is it having two back to back, like
how close are they?
Speaker 5 (13:25):
They're 11 months and like two weeks apart.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
That's the dream I wanted that.
I wanted that Badly At first.
Speaker 5 (13:33):
I was scared because I'm like I'm a new mom, I don't
know, but you know what?
I don't regret it because Icouldn't like punk out.
Do you get what I'm?
Saying Like you know how babieshit like terrible tunes and
they're like oh, I'm not havingany more kids.
I didn't have a choice.
You're going to experience bothof these.
(13:55):
It's like whatever, so I likeit.
They're going to grow uptogether and be super close.
They're already like superclose, even though my son is a
bully.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
It's just a.
Thing.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
I actually had to ask people if my daughter was a
bully.
I literally asked that onFacebook.
I was like my daughter, a bully.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
He gets close to her, he pulls her hair.
Speaker 5 (14:13):
And while he'll look at you, he'll go to her.
My son pulled out my daughter'swhole brain from her scout.
Speaker 6 (14:17):
That's how boys are.
Yeah, when he was a baby.
Speaker 4 (14:21):
But she's so used to it.
Speaker 5 (14:24):
She's just like, she's like get him.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
She gets older, she's not getting back.
He does the same thing to minetoo.
She's like get him, she's olderand she's still terrified.
Speaker 6 (14:35):
So do you guys have any advice or do you guys have
any encouragement for anyone amom who is just getting into
motherhood or that's been in it,that could really use some
encouragement.
Mine it's just, you just haveto have a lot of patience.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Now there's this whole new thing called gentle
parenting.
I just saw me when you said I'mtrying to have a gentle parent,
but my kids ain't gentle.
I think you just have to knowyour children.
It's like gentle parents andwhatever I mean, that's out the
window with mine.
You just have to know your kids.
(15:11):
You have to have a lot ofpatience.
You're a gentle parent withjourney.
Speaker 5 (15:17):
Oh my God, Okay so now she got it easy.
Oh my gosh, she's going to beable to steal her car at 18.
Sneak out, she has it easy.
Each kid, she gets less, morestern, it's true because, I'm
older now.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
It's like I was first of all.
Tyena was not to.
You know, she was the mostperfect child.
She had an attitude, but shenever did anything like crazy.
I never experienced the crazyteenage stuff.
I was tough on her.
But now, with my daughterjourney, it's just like I don't
(15:52):
know.
I just don't have it in me tobe like rough.
Speaker 4 (15:56):
I'm older now.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
I have a lot more patience.
I have a lot more patience nowas a mom at 17 than I do now at
41.
I'm just a different person.
Speaker 5 (16:05):
Some things my brother said.
Sir, if I said that, I wouldhave got the drag Drag.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
I just learned from my mistakes.
I just learned that you don'thave to do all that.
It's all about communication.
Talk to your kids.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
Are you the mom that you thought you'd be so far?
Speaker 5 (16:26):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
What kind of mom did you think you'd be?
Speaker 5 (16:29):
I thought I was going to be like super like pinkie
mouse, pink cakes and all thefruits and all that.
I thought I was going to belike that until I had my kid I'm
like you know what do you want?
Speaker 3 (16:44):
Let's do it your way.
Well, just so you know, ego'salready makes Mickey Mouse shake
, exactly.
Speaker 1 (16:51):
No, she definitely, she definitely.
I thought she definitely wasgoing to be one of those like
pincers moms.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
That's the word.
It looks cute.
I don't know how they do it Ihave a girlfriend and she's
absolutely.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Her mothering is perfection, yes, and I look at
her bed time at 7.30.
Speaker 5 (17:11):
How do you do it?
Speaker 3 (17:13):
Do you think she's really?
Speaker 1 (17:14):
saying no.
Her is by the book.
Speaker 4 (17:19):
One of the questions we asked, though, in the game is
the body thing.
So we all were like oh, ourbody before baby, the body
before baby and the body afterbaby, like when it comes to the
before and after.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
I should definitely talk about that.
Speaker 4 (17:31):
What's your take on that?
Speaker 5 (17:33):
Okay, so I really liked my body before, but I took
advantage of it because Ididn't know.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
I thought I was fat.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
I'm like.
Speaker 5 (17:42):
no, I was skinny abs like it was perfect body.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
I can't remember, but now, people.
Speaker 5 (17:48):
They say they like my body.
I mean, look at your body.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
They like my weight on me, but I but you're not used
to it.
Speaker 5 (17:55):
I'm not used to it.
Speaker 4 (17:56):
Yeah, yeah, so it's hard, yeah you have moments
where you're like, okay, I don'twant to like, did you?
I don't want to be like tooskinny.
Speaker 5 (18:03):
No, I don't ever want to go back to be a super skinny
like I was super skinny in myface like I don't like that like
.
I like my weight in my face,but you know my stomach when my
first child that's.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
I didn't get stretch marks.
Speaker 5 (18:17):
Yeah, second child, second child.
She stretched me out so bad,I'll steal your beauty.
She stole it all no, she gaveme stretch marks.
I was like oh my god yeah and Ithought that I wasn't gonna
stretch out because I just had ababy.
Yeah, I'm thinking.
I'm still like elastic.
(18:39):
Yeah, no, she stretched me out,yeah you still definitely it's
definitely different, but I'mgetting used to it.
It doesn't like really botheredme like.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
I don't even know.
I was gonna say you were like16, so you're going through
bottom body wasn't even fullydeveloped when I had her yeah,
she was the only child that gaveme stretch marks.
Now they're like not existingwhat about you?
Speaker 6 (19:01):
so far I I think I struggled a lot with like
everything shifting to differentplaces, yeah, and like not
feeling like my most confident,so I'd always used to hide my
body in very loose clothing yeahbut I'm starting to like really
enjoy the weight that I havenow.
I've been four years inmotherhood, so yeah, girl number
(19:23):
.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
I definitely could.
I definitely after this fourthchild.
Like this is the first time andI've had a like a little pouch
and yeah, stomach, and you knowI'm just embracing it.
Speaker 4 (19:32):
I got my ankle.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Okay, she said I got my ankle, I got my, I don't know
, I suck it out real fast, butit's the first time I've had
like a stomach.
Yeah, and I'm okay with that.
Speaker 3 (19:41):
It's like whatever yeah, yeah at this point.
Well, no, I did.
I did smart life.
Oh, I got my boobs reduced.
I did some things to feel oh,that's another thing.
Speaker 5 (19:50):
Yeah, I was completely flat chested.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
Oh, so these are new.
Speaker 5 (19:54):
These are brand new, yes.
Thanks to the babies and I'mlike why are they here?
Yeah, she hates them.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
I hate them.
She's like a reduction.
Speaker 5 (20:03):
I'm not used to them.
Yeah, and I breastfed for alittle bit.
Speaker 3 (20:05):
I was going to say your babies are still young, so
it might yeah, you never know,yeah, sometimes they go away for
people, sometimes they stickaround.
Do you want more?
Oh, yeah.
Speaker 5 (20:14):
I was like a question to ask me right now.
Speaker 4 (20:18):
She said let me live with this Right.
Speaker 5 (20:21):
I'm not sure.
Yeah, I feel like I have mypair, my boy and my girl yeah,
you do, so it's like perfect.
That's what I feel.
Speaker 4 (20:27):
I got one more.
Speaker 5 (20:28):
Can I ask Did you try for the?
Speaker 3 (20:29):
girl or you didn't, yeah, I did?
Speaker 1 (20:32):
I manifested her.
I wanted a girl so bad.
You know her father.
He didn't have a.
You know he raised her, ofcourse, but he didn't have a
little girl biological daughter.
And I always said I wanted fourchildren.
My mother, my grandmother, hadfour kids.
My mom had four kids.
So I was like you know, I was39, like I said so it was like
(20:52):
it's now or never.
So I tried and I got the girlthat I wanted, did you?
Speaker 3 (20:56):
wait to find out, or you found out.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
Immediately.
Oh, you had to know.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
Right, I waited to find out for both of mine.
No.
Speaker 5 (21:03):
I didn't, I didn't ever feel for my first one, my
second one, I was like no, Iwant to know right now I'm not
waiting.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
Yeah, we knew he was a boy.
We knew he was a boy.
I was like it's a boy and Iknew my second was a girl.
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (21:16):
How'd you know?
I don't know, I just knew, Ijust knew something.
I was like no, this is a girl.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Yeah, and it was.
Oh, my gosh.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Now my nephew.
When I was pregnant with myfirst, we all thought it was a
boy, because we only have boysin our family and my nephew
walked up to me he was probablylike three or four and he said
you're having a girl, I can seeher.
And that freaked me out.
Speaker 2 (21:36):
And she ended up being a girl.
Speaker 4 (21:37):
It was really creepy, oh wow, but you know, prophetic
yeah, but You've said a coupleof times like all I know is
being a mom, like I don't knowwhat it was before, but like now
that you're a mom and you'vehad your kids, like do you have
plans for what your life isgoing to look like?
Like you know what I'm saying.
Like after like these it neverends.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
It never ends.
It's not 18 years.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Yeah, my daughter's not even two years.
Speaker 4 (22:01):
You know how some people like they kind of wait,
they feel like they have to waitto like do more with their
lives.
Like we hear it all the timeLike, oh, I have kids, so I got
to like only be a mom.
Like, do you ever?
Do you either one of you everfeel that pressure or you're
like no, I'm going to still livemy life.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
I feel like you know.
You have to know how to juggle.
Speaker 4 (22:20):
You know what?
Speaker 1 (22:20):
I mean, but, like I said, this is the first time
where I don't have help.
Yeah, I need to get some help.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
I was going to say what made you decide that.
Because I need help, Because Iwas just Well, I mean to be
completely transparent.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
I had a nanny for since she was like 10 years old
and she had a stroke, so I hadher for 13 years and she had a
stroke and it completely changedmy life because I realized like
you had help girl.
Speaker 5 (22:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
So this is the first time.
You know, when I had journeywas like you know what I could
do?
This, this is my.
You know it's fine and I'vebeen doing just fine.
Speaker 5 (22:54):
Oh, god bless you, I didn't have an nanny my first
year of parenting.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Yeah, she just got one after the baby.
Speaker 5 (23:01):
I got one literally right when I had her.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (23:05):
Because I was like, no, I need help, my son is a
mama's boy.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (23:10):
Like I would have been struggling.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 5 (23:14):
Still like.
Anytime I pick her up, pick herup.
He's like I want some attentiontoo, Like pick me up and it's
just hard.
So, but my first year ofparenting I was.
It was just me, yeah, and mymother-in-law will help me.
God bless you.
Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 4 (23:29):
Did you ever feel like your friendships changed at
all once your motherhood, likewhen you were in the, or do you
feel like I didn't really missthe friendship pieces?
Speaker 3 (23:37):
You already got the answers.
You already got the answersLook at your face.
Speaker 5 (23:41):
None of my friends, well, none of well.
My best friend she has two kidsbut she lives in New York, Okay
, but all of my friends here inLA, none of them have friends.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
I mean none of them have babies, yeah.
Speaker 5 (23:53):
And they're free.
They get to do whatever theywant dinner.
I went through a really toughtime when I had my son because
they wasn't inviting me anyway.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
Oh, that's the worst, but they didn't understand.
Speaker 5 (24:05):
They're like well, you have a baby, I can't invite
you anywhere.
You just had a baby, but Istill want to invite him, yeah.
So I was like yes.
I'm just saying just saying no,you should still invite me.
So that was like really tough,like I would get into it and
I'll be like you don't come andsee my son as much.
That was like a thing with me,but now they're used to it.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
So it's like I was going to say also technically,
like what year was he born?
You had like a baby born in thepandemic.
Speaker 5 (24:32):
Yeah, kind of at the end of the pandemic, yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
It was at the end.
Speaker 5 (24:38):
It was not deep into it.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Okay, yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
People were still coming through they just weren't
coming Well for me.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
Having a child as a teen.
You know I got to miss all the.
You know everything.
Oh my God, parties promseverything Hanging out with your
friends.
I never really got.
I got kind of rushed into beingan adult.
So, yeah, my life started after.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
I had her Best thing.
Yeah, not in a way like that,you wouldn't have her.
But what do you think your lifewould be like if you had?
It oh my God, I don't even know.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
Yeah, I have none.
I have and have done everything.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
See, that's why you're her baby, see, right.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
Like I always like hustled and I always was like
you know, this girl I never wantfor anything, so it's like I
always had to make sure that Iyou know, I gave to her, so she
was always my motivation.
So I don't know what life wouldhave been like.
Speaker 3 (25:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
I don't know where it would be yeah, wow, best thing
that ever happened to me.
Oh, so cute.
Speaker 6 (25:35):
No no, no.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
I mean I planned her, like as a teenage I planned her
.
That's a whole nother story.
Speaker 3 (25:40):
She's like you know when you're 16, you think you're
grown?
Speaker 1 (25:43):
Yeah, I mean well my mom had.
I was like I know.
My mom had like a two year oldand a one year old and I was
like slave in the house, Like mymom's going to kill me for
saying this, but I was likealways like cooking and cleaning
my mom's work full time and Iwas like, why, so I have my own?
Speaker 3 (26:00):
baby.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
That's what you said.
Yes, so bad.
Speaker 4 (26:03):
That's supposed to be the motivation not to happen.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
It's so bad, but I had a boyfriend at the time.
Speaker 4 (26:08):
And you got to love too.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
I was like I could do this and I literally planned it
and I had her.
That's how it goes.
And I had yeah my mother wasalways like you better not get
pregnant.
Because, my mom was a teenmama's girl.
Speaker 5 (26:20):
She was like, if you get pregnant, you got to get out
of here.
Speaker 1 (26:22):
I was like, oh, that's all I got to do.
Oh my god, no, oh my god, Iswear, I swear it's horrible.
I was like, oh, so if I getpregnant and I have a baby, I
get to leave.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
With the baby, With the baby.
No, I got pregnant.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
My mom said you ain't going nowhere and I was like,
oh god, backfired on me.
Speaker 3 (26:42):
See, at least you were spoiled with a calm chill
baby.
See how the baby they were,like your baby's, so alert and I
was so excited to hear thatBecause I felt like that meant
my baby was smart and I justrealized that meant my baby was
going to cause me lots of issues.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (26:56):
Give me a sleepy, calm baby.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
Yeah, she was definitely always a motivation
for me, so I don't know whatlife would have been like yeah,
she's always been there.
Speaker 4 (27:04):
That's so cute.
You guys have been a joy to bewith.
I'm really excited that youguys were able to join us for
our very last episode.
What a way to close it out.
I know you don't like it, butthis month I'm going to get you.
You guys no, seriously, it'sreally nice Because I know for
me I have a daughter, twodaughters, and I always think I
(27:25):
want my baby, my daughters, whenthey grow up, to always want to
hang out with me want to befriends and all of that stuff,
because it is.
I don't understand why peopleare like I don't want to be
friends with my kid.
I do, I do, I do.
Yes, there's going to be acertain amount of parenting and
I'm going to raise them well andall of that, but I absolutely
want to be friends with mydaughters.
(27:47):
So, this is so amazing to see.
It's not always that friendly.
Do y'all argue oh my god, a lotyou want to see, that's part of
friendship.
Speaker 3 (27:56):
Yeah, that's like.
That means someone's beinghonest.
Speaker 5 (27:58):
Yes, yes, but we get along too, yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (28:02):
That's the thing.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
For the most part, yeah, yeah, it's a good balance.
Speaker 4 (28:06):
Yeah, it's a good balance.
Yeah Well, thank you guys.
So much for joining us at MomsActually, where motherhood meets
sisterhood.
We appreciate you and we willsee you next year.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
Bye, that's good, hey Mom, what's up?
Hey Mom, what's up?
Hey Mom?
What's up, hey Mom?
What's up?
Hey Mom?
What's up, hey Mom?
What's up?
Hey Mom?
What's up?
Hey Mom, what's up, hey Mom?
What's up?
(28:39):
Hey Mom, what's up?
Hey Mom, what's up, hey Mom?
Thank you.
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