December 14, 2023 • 45 mins
Hey Ma! We’re hitting rewind and spotlighting our "MA Top 12" — the standout episodes from our first three seasons of Moms Actually. From October 12 to December 28, don’t miss the moments that defined us. Join us as a we take a trip down memory lane as we prepare for Season 4.
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When the spotlight fades and the applause dies down, grappling with identity can be an uphill task, especially when life tosses you into brand new roles. Jade Godbolt, our guest for today's episode, opens up about her journey navigating the waters of motherhood, step-parenting, and marriage. How do you shake off the dust of who you were to embrace who you are now? Jade shares her evolution from pre-motherhood to becoming a mom, and how she found comfort in missing the woman she used to be.
Jade gives us an intimate look into:
- Her rebranding journey, from being known as 'Lipstick and Curls' to rebirthing her real identity—a process that was as challenging as it was therapeutic.
- How her hair played a profound role in her transformation
- Her journey to finding balance in her professional and personal life.
- What faith looks like in the intricate dance of family relationships?
- How her faith and trust in God shaped her relationship with her husband and daughter.
- Her experience as a stepmom, and how generational curses almost threatened her family's harmony.
- A powerful perspective on how the comfort of blessings can be a distraction from the path God has planned for us.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The things that I thought I wanted.
I was like going into thesespaces and I'm like, oh my God,
I hate this.
Oh my God, I hate this, andI've been dreaming these things
up for years.
What's up, what's up, hey Moa,what's up, what's up.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Hey Moa, what's up.
Hey Moa, what's up.
Hey Moa, what's up.
Well, welcome back to thisweek's episode of Moms.
Actually, we have Jade here,hello, welcome to our home for
the week.
Oh my gosh, we are so excited.
It's beautiful, it's a wholesituation.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Ok, how are you feeling?
I'm feeling great.
First off, the weather isincredible.
Outside it's like that perfectspring, warm but not hot, and in
Texas that's like a dime adozen.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
OK, because it's about to be hot.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
All right, but it's beautiful.
The water's right outside thishouse is gorgeous you all are
like everyone.
It's giving peace, it's givingpeace.
So, yes, I feel great, feelgreat.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
We're really excited to have you.
I'm Morgan, this is Blair, solet's get started.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Let's get started.
So you've watched this before,so you know we usually start
with the game.
So we are going to do a rapidfire for it's Giving Motherhood.
So we are going to ask you aquestion and you tell us your
immediate answer.
Ooh.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
OK, the first answer.
It's the right answer.
Ok, ok, you ready.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
Toddlers Ooh, is that the word?
Speaker 1 (01:20):
That's it.
I got two at home.
Yeah, South here, oh, like fillup Like fill me up All right,
yeah, date night.
Oh, my husband.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
I just like love him so much.
Hair, chopped it off.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
OK, ok, ha ha ha.
Step mom, I love it.
It's not easy and it's a placethat I'm trying to grow in,
still getting used to.
Yeah, yeah, postpartum.
Ooh, I'm coming out of it andI'm feeling better than the last
(01:57):
two times I came out of it.
So, yeah, nice.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
And the last one, lipstick and curls.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Oh, sometimes I miss her, sometimes I miss her.
But ooh, why am I alreadygetting emotional?
Sometimes I miss her, but I'mhappy to be Jade Godbolt now, so
yeah, what do you miss abouther?
Oh man, how am I alreadyemotional?
It's fine, this is where we'rehere.
(02:25):
Do you expect me to go At all,like I did not.
I've actually never.
I've told this part of my lifemultiple times and I never
really get emotional, but Idon't know.
It's the energy in here.
But I miss her in the season ofjust like excitement and
opportunity and just what it'slike when you're single and you
(02:49):
don't have any kids and youdon't have a husband and
everything is so like evergreenand just yeah, and that
excitement is what I miss themost.
And also feeling very confidentin myself and who I was at a
time.
I think, like as I became awife and a mom, you have those
seasons, you all know.
It's like you kind of questionyourself and also like where God
(03:11):
has taken me in growing as aperson, like I'm not her anymore
and I have to go through liketimes of grieving her but also
not looking at her as if she wasbad or if she was not worthy.
It was just a matter of likethere's evolution and change in
life and you grow as a personand it's OK to miss who you were
(03:32):
at a time and so it's kind ofthat balance of like reminisce
but don't regret, and like don'tstay there too long, because
then you start living in thepast and not in the present.
So that's kind of like whereI've been with hers, like I love
that time of my life, I lovewhat it represented for me, but
she's gone.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
So I love that because it actually goes into
one of the first questions Iwanted to ask you.
Ok.
Is like at what point?
Because I've actually beenfollowing you I'm stalking For
over 10 years.
No way.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Yes, morgan.
What yes, I did not know this.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
I have been a loyal lipstick and curls follower.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Oh my gosh, OK maybe, so that's why I'm feeling
emotional, because you're theone with the history.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
OK, maybe that's, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
I'm picking up something where it's like y'all
know what it is for some reason,and we can all reminisce about
her a little bit yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Truly so.
I remember following you andthis was your journey and
everything, and then just to seeyou evolve and I wanted to know
at what point in your life didyou decide you wanted to pretty
much just change the way theworld?
Speaker 3 (04:40):
knew you, because you're doing it publicly.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
You're literally evolving in a different way, and
I know we all evolve, rightyeah, but in the way that you're
doing it, it catches my eyeintensely.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
I mean thank you for saying that, because I've talked
about this here and there inthis new part of it, because I
think it's been this journeythat I've been on, but it's
definitely been spirit led andnot something I planned.
Like God told me to change myname, so I changed it.
There was no strategy, therewas no, I mean y'all.
(05:16):
I even went on YouTube and I'mlike, how do you do a rebrand?
Like, how do you do that?
The YouTuber YouTube, trulyLike, how do you?
You know, because it's a heavylift.
Honestly, it's not easy.
Like I had so many articles,press things all mentioning
lipstick and curls, but not myactual name, which also I'm
(05:39):
using my married name nowGodbolt.
My name before was Jade Kendall.
So even when I was referencingSEO, just SEO alone is like I
lose all that decade, over adecade of data and searchability
and things and people knowingme is that and so that was hard
and so it wasn't like I wantedto do it.
It was like if I don't listento him, it's gonna be bad.
(06:03):
So like let me obey.
And I just started that and hekept pushing on me to like talk
about him on my platform and Iremember like praying and being
like first off, I don't wanna dothis.
Let's just put that out there.
I don't wanna do it, okay.
And also it's like right, Ialso don't want to make my
content all about you.
(06:24):
Like I did not want that.
That's bold, though I did notwant it, and yet he was like you
have to, like you have to.
And so I just started and itjust continued.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
Here we are Listening to a sermon at church.
I can't remember if it wasPastor Manny O'Ringo or it was
Travis Travis Green, but theywere talking about you know how,
like Peter's name was changed,a lot of the disciples' name
were changed, and he was sayingtheir names weren't really
changed.
It was their original names,that God had called them.
So it's like not what the worldcalled them or their mom it's
(07:00):
like it was like God broughtthem back to their original name
.
And I heard you say like youdidn't wanna talk about it, like
because, again, you're knownfor beauty and fashion and your
audience is so broad.
In short you're afraid to, kindof like, lose the little.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Oh yeah, and I did Like you do.
The thing is, you do, andthat's in the social media world
.
It's like how do you feel whenyou lose followers?
Well, no, it's not.
How do you feel when you losefollowers?
How do you feel when you losethousands?
And you not only lose thousands, but you also don't have the
same sort of engagement withpeople as you did before.
(07:36):
So it's like also which this iskind of deep, but it's a real
thing.
It's also like once I changedthe way that people were able to
categorize me or use me, whichwas idolizing my hair, idolizing
like my life, idolizing anyone.
Yeah, they didn't want meanymore.
So it's like I had reallycreated lipstick and curls into
(08:00):
an idol and I had presented thatto people, my goodness, and
they picked it up.
It also became an idol for me,so I had to break it down.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
And that's why God said no more.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
But I have a question , because God talks to us, god
tells us to do a lot of things,all the things here we are, and
usually we say no, like, oh, wekeep going regardless.
So what made you say yes tosomething you didn't?
Because, again, just becauseit's God don't mean we just be
like yep and do it.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
And what made you say , In addition to that question
before you answer is have youalways even been so strong in
your faith?
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Absolutely not so, because I know you talked about
that too.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
So that's something in conjunction with the question
, because, for someone not to bethat strong in their faith and
to hear God and say I know thisis your voice and I'm still
going to obey.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
That's a double whammy right now.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Yeah, that's the view Been in it don't follow.
Well, and that's the thing.
I think, why God is being sospecific with me and using me in
this way, is because he builtme up in this platform to be one
thing and this is the thing.
Lipstick and Curls was ablessing at a time.
So it's like understanding whenit's time to move, like when
(09:09):
the cloud moves, you go with thecloud.
So it's like at its season,lipstick and Curls was this
platform, this avenue thatallowed me freedom of expression
and to build a name for myself,but also to support my family
and buy a home and take care ofmy.
You know what I mean.
That did so many things.
But it also came with thisother side of it, which came
with entitlement, which camewith, like, I had a lot of, yes,
(09:32):
people around me and kind ofstarted feeling myself to a
certain degree.
And it wasn't until, like,wifehood and motherhood came in
the door where I was like, oh,I'm not, like, I'm not, it's
humbling, it's humbling, it'svery humbling.
So, like to the point of like.
You know, I grew up consideringmyself a Christian, but I didn't
(09:53):
grow up going to church.
I did not see myself assomebody who, even I never did
Bible studies like that.
I never was not that person.
I was not.
But I will say that throughoutmy whole life, I always had this
special connection with Godthat I would notice and I
understood, but I didn't havethe language for so, like, I
always talked to him, but I, inmy mind, it was like me talking
(10:16):
to myself, but it wasn't.
It was because I, for somereason, I always felt like there
was something there respondingin a way, and it wasn't with
words, but I just knew that Iwasn't just talking to myself,
it was something bigger.
So, fast forward, when I eventook the leap to just do
lipstick and curls full-time,which was in 2016, I had, I was
(10:36):
in my last semester of gradschool and so I was like, okay,
I guess I got to go get a realjob now, because I, because I
had been building lipstick andcurls since you know, like 2010.
And you know, yeah, a long time, okay, a long time, and I
really wasn't getting paid, likethere wasn't, no, there wasn't
this concept of like being ableto do it for a living, you know.
(10:56):
And so I didn't have thatanticipation.
But but, as I got closer andcloser to actually deciding to
go full-time.
It was like this like thing inmy stomach and my soul was just
like you do this.
And God made other things thatI was trying to go do
uncomfortable, that the thingsthat I thought I wanted.
I was like going into thesespaces and I'm like, oh my God,
(11:20):
I hate this.
Oh my God, I hate this.
And I've been dreaming thesethings up for years and you know
I would always kind ofinvalidate lipstick and curls
because I'm like at that timeI'm like I don't want to tell
people I do YouTube and they'relike what is YouTube Like?
Speaker 3 (11:33):
what do you mean?
Speaker 1 (11:33):
you do YouTube.
But I'm like, even I tell thestory, I'll tell them, like you
think it was only like 40 yearsold.
Yeah, well, well, yeah, at thattime.
But even in, even in 2016, Iwas not telling people.
It was like my two worlds, thatI had my internet life and my
real life, and I would not tellpeople because I would just be
embarrassed by it for somereason.
I don't know.
(11:54):
It's a weird thing.
I feel like old schoolYouTubers would understand this,
but like.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
It's like a very telling people.
You have a podcast.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
My daughter, literally two days ago she was
like Mom, I really don't knowhow to tell people what you do.
Got it.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Yeah, right, it's a thing, so it's still very fresh
and new in a certain way.
So, like I would not tellpeople, even though I had this
large following already, andlike people knew me from this,
but I did not tell people.
And so when all these thingswere kind of like going awry, I
was like, okay, I actually wasabout to quit lip sticking curls
in 2015, like the end of 2015.
(12:29):
That's a whole nother story.
But I was basically like I'mgoing to put lip sticking curls
down so I can focus on my career, because I got to do so.
I'm a grown up.
Like I got to.
What was the career?
The career was actually instudent affairs and higher
education.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
Okay, so like my yeah .
Speaker 1 (12:42):
So, like I had my master's in education policy and
leadership focusing on, like,student affairs, I wanted to be
a VP of student affairs.
I wanted to go get my PhD, Iwanted to do all this stuff
right.
All these plans were not hisplans clearly.
So so, yeah, so I going throughmy last semester, it's getting
worse and worse and worse.
At this point I'm still likeI'm kind of not doing lip
(13:02):
sticking curls anymore.
I need to focus.
And then I literally get anemail from an agency asking me
if I wanted to be in a Colgatecommercial.
And I'm like, Huh, yes, Forwhat?
And then, like, and then theywere like looking for beauty
bloggers and I kept telling themI'm like I'm a YouTuber, Like I
don't, I'm not a blogger.
I mean, I have a website butI'm not a blogger.
And they're like we don't care.
(13:23):
And I, and so we were shootingthis, you know, international
commercial for Colgate in Miami,and Mariana Hewitt is like the
co, the other girl that they got, and I didn't even know who
Mariana was.
She like the biggest beautyblogger in the world.
I don't even know who she is,yeah, and so you know she's got
her photographer, she's got, youknow, her team and stuff at the
set.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
And I'm like she's showing up Like hello, hey, hey.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
And I asked the agency people I'm like, how did
y'all like find me?
And like, how did you?
Because I didn't havemanagement at this time I had
let go of my manager at the timeand they were just like we sent
like 200 names to the brand andthey picked you.
Yeah, and I was like, okay,guys.
So I'm there and I'm likesitting in front of the cameras
and it's like I've never been ona set like this before.
(14:08):
I never experienced.
But I was just like I felt apeace and like a very comfort
there.
I was not nervous and I wasjust like, oh, my gosh, damay,
this is what I'm supposed to bedoing.
And and yeah.
So one thing led to another.
I get back home and then I geta cold email from this woman who
ends up becoming my manager.
She's based in LA and then,literally a week or two later, I
(14:31):
meet my husband, the man whowould become my husband, and
then he found me because he waslooking for influencers for his
job for Nike.
So like it was like okay, god,if you, I mean, what else can
you tell me to?
do so, that's one thing afteranother going well where I was
like all right, so I guess I'mnot supposed to get a real job.
I guess I'm supposed to like belips A traditional job.
(14:55):
Now I'm comfortable saying it'sa real job.
Okay.
Contact creation is not youknow for the word Okay.
But back then, especially, Iwas still like parents who just
paid for my graduate school.
Are y'all going to be okay?
But they were Okay, my dad,y'all my dad was like what did
you think about doing thisbefore?
(15:15):
I was trying to make you proudyou didn't say that when you
were signing these checks forthis private institution
education, but anyway.
So yeah, I just and.
But that was the first timethat I really took a leap of
faith and follow what God wastelling me and actually I would
(15:35):
say halfway recognized that itwas God.
I was still like, okay, I thinkit's always that uncertainty.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
When you are fully certain, then you don't have any
faith to lead away.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Right, you know what I mean, I mean in my you know,
kind of like non, I guess, babyChristian E not really baby, not
really.
You know, like I didn't know, Ididn't, I didn't have friends
that were, that was not my world.
So like I was just like, okay,I guess I'm just going to go
with my gut, I'm going to do thething that I'm scared of and
(16:05):
just go with it.
And, lo and behold, like Irecognize later that that was
signs in that season, showed methat like, oh, when that's how
God moves for me, that's how hecommunicates with me, those are
the things that in little waysthat I remember, like personal
things where I'm like okay, god,like when you start moving like
this, when my life startslooking like this, that's how I
(16:25):
know you want me to do something.
So, bringing it all the way backto this season, for me it's
like he started doing thingslike that he started allowing
things to get real uncomfortableand I was like, oh, this feels
like that season, yeah, but thistime it was, you know, a
totally different version and itwas like it wasn't just about
me.
(16:45):
It was like my husband, my kids, like my livelihood, like my
brand, and it was like I knewthat he had given me the
platform, but now he was like Ineed it back and I was like
that's a word of a soul, it is.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
And people like to think that's not God.
They think if he's giving yousomething, it's got to go
forever.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
It's like you got to go where the cloud goes.
And, honestly, when he says,give it back to me, like you
know, like Abraham, and you knowwhat I mean like that whole
story is the same.
It's like are you going to giveit back?
And if you do, he'll redeem itand make it more and all those
things.
So I am trusting and expectinghim to do the same now and,
honestly, now that I'm here, Ido feel more confident, more
(17:28):
sure of myself.
I'm a healed person now.
So now when I do things with myplatform, there's just a
different level of me involvedin it and it feels so good and I
think, like if I could havetold myself before the rebrand
and all that, like I would tellmyself it's going to feel good
again, it's going to feel likeyou again.
(17:49):
It's just you're going througha season of transformation, so
what you like now you're notgoing to like then and the
things that you like then willnot be things you like now.
And so you have to trust that.
Like, if you feel resistance,go, keep going.
You got to just keep going,yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
How did that affect you with?
Like the friends?
Like you talk about losingfollowers.
And when you change your lifestyle, like how did it affect
your friends?
Speaker 1 (18:13):
Well, I did lose some friends along the way, but the
interesting thing of the timingof this too was like with COVID,
it was like you know right.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
Everybody.
Everybody lost friends yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Because it really showed you like who's really
about that life and who's aboutyou, and for us, like we were
living in Portland for a timeand we had this like incredible,
like young couples,professionals, like community
that we had built and loved themso much.
But when we left Portland, thatbroke, you know, not broken a
sense of we're not friendsanymore, but it was like we're
(18:46):
not going to each other's houseevery week it changed the
dynamic right.
So and so like, when we cameback to Dallas, we're both, you
know, we have roots here, so we,you know we knew people, but we
had changed.
So it was like I'm notinterested in rekindling all my
friendships from before and I'malso there's a.
(19:06):
For whatever reason, god iskeeping that separation and when
we would try to reconnect ortry to do things in our old
lives, it just would not workout, wouldn't stick.
So we got very isolated and andsometimes that sucked.
But also it kind of cleared thefield for like the community
that we have now, which has beenso like a blessing and so
(19:30):
fruitful, and just like the typeof friends that I'm so grateful
for but I couldn't have hadprior to this kind of evolution
of myself and even of my husband, like we've been very vocal and
public about our transformationand like it's real.
It's like people go but likeagain, god redeems and so it's
like if you want friendship,you're going to get that 10
(19:53):
times full space for him.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Yeah, to do it with the right people.
Like I'm having a moment rightnow because literally I would
say right before I left to comefilm this God.
I was sitting in a worship umin a worship moment and I was
just kind of being still and Godkept saying I'm going to
replace it before you even loseit, and it just kept coming and
(20:18):
it kept coming and I'm hearingyou speak and it's even hearing
that it sounds good.
Right, it sounds like, oh mygosh, I won't even recognize
before it's lost.
But now, hearing you speak, Ithink it's something to even
like.
Go a little bit further withthe people who feel like I've
lost it, but it's already beenreplaced.
Yeah, Like before you even knewthat it was like it was already
(20:42):
there.
Speaker 3 (20:42):
You don't have to see it.
You don't have to see it.
It just means, god's alreadydone.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
It's already done, and that's the thing I feel like
was a big game changer for metoo was like when I stopped
thinking that I had to make itall happen, right, like you got
to go out and get it.
Well, really, when you're adaughter of the king, no, you
don't, you just don't.
And so it's like how, how muchstress do we carry on a regular
basis thinking that it's on us?
(21:07):
Yeah, it's like it's our burden,like it's our thing to lift up,
carry, take to the.
It's really not, and I'veallowed that not just to
penetrate my professional life,but also like my home life and
like parenting, especially likeme and God parent together.
Yeah, okay, we are locked steps, like you, the daddy too, yes.
You're the daddy too, like youfill up the gaps, like you know,
(21:30):
in a real way, because, like Irealized once I started
integrating in one section of mylife, god wants it all.
So he's kind of like right, he'slike I want it all and he's not
going to push you, he's justgoing to be like I'm waiting on
you, but I want it all.
Yeah, like, so you do it onyour time.
Yeah, it can take you two days,it can take you 20 years, but
(21:51):
like it's on your time.
Now, enter in wherever you openthe door for me.
That's how it works.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Yeah, so we could like parent parenthood.
I feel like practically as moms, we all know that when you're
reinventing yourself and you're,when you're going through the
journey and adding parenting andjust you just had like two
fresh babies pretty much back toback.
Yes, Like all of that in thesame time.
Speaker 3 (22:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
What is that like?
Because you also mentioned likepostpartum.
Speaker 3 (22:22):
You're rebranding yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
So it's like rebranding my everything.
It was hard.
I had to go to therapy.
I had to because, like in thebeginning of the transformation,
the real, true like change myname, part of it, which was more
of the latter, but kind of likethe most intense.
Like 20, I want to say 2022.
(22:46):
No, no, no, 2020 because we'rein 2023 now.
So 2021, it was the.
It was the fall time, it waslike October, and it was right
after.
Yeah, it was right after I hadmy son.
My son Micah was born July 2021and I changed my name October
2021 because it was very shortafter.
Speaker 3 (23:05):
So literally postpartum Displays 있�.
Maybe change of my life?
It'll do it.
It'll do it.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Change of my life, okay, change of my whole life
and so, like that's when I kindof started, that's when I first
chopped my hair, like the firstchop, which my hair used to be
like down to here, curly, yes,so it was long and huge and that
was my namesake and everything.
Clearly I'm like ball head eraand I love it.
Okay, just FYI, thank you.
But I chopped it to like abovemy shoulders and that was kind
(23:33):
of the first iteration of therebrand and kind of just the new
me and wearing it straight, andwearing it straight, you're
saying girls, girls, girls,girls, girls.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
No more curls.
Yes.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
There's so much work, so much work and when I had the
time it was great, I loved itand I love natural hair.
Like the thing is, I loveanything beauty.
Like I'm just obsessed withdifferent looks and different,
just how you can transform intolike different sides of you with
a different hairstyle.
Like I'm obsessed with that.
That is like that was the, thatwas the meat and potatoes of
lipstick and curls, which waslike be whoever you want to be
(24:05):
in.
The essence of even lipsticking curls, which is still
evident for me now, is like bewho you are and just enhance.
It's not about completelytransforming the way you look to
be something else or besomebody else, but it's about
how do I exude like the innerperson best out outwardly and so
, like I've always had thatessence in lip sticking curls,
(24:25):
and even till now.
So it's like my hair has alwaysbeen like a representation of
like where I am as a person andyou know so.
When I started chopping the hair, people noticed obviously when
I started wearing it straight,it was like I wanted to make it
clear this is not about me notloving natural hair or curly
hair or even my own hair or myown.
It's not about that.
(24:45):
It was behind closed doors.
I was burning it down in idle,so like I had to do that and I
had to, and literally God waslike you, don't wear your hair
curly.
Because it was tempting, evenwhen my hair was short and I
would wear it curly.
It was tempting for me to fallback into who lip sticking curls
was and because that was justmy natural habit.
(25:07):
So even through this processit's hard.
It was hard because my naturalinstinct is to still do a beauty
tutorial.
My natural instinct is to still, which I think is still fine
because now you're wearing thesame.
Now, yes, but in that season,you yes, and not like this thing
that I had built and that.
But I had to take a break.
I had to, like you know, workthrough that Because it wasn't
(25:30):
like I could just decide todaythat I was Jay Godboat and
tomorrow still be okay to do no,because you would have just
been convincing yourself it'sdifferent Because you changed
your name.
Speaker 3 (25:39):
Yes, it's different, but it wasn't it wasn't.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
It wasn't.
So I had to get rid of thething my hair that was pulling
me back into doing and that'sgoing to be different for
everybody.
What is that thing?
And a lot of times it's likepeople don't want to look at it
because it's like it brings youso much, but it's like I made
money from my hair.
Like I made money from my face.
I made money from these, thisbeauty, content, and so when God
(26:02):
was like change, shift, I wasjust like I'm going to lose
brand deals.
And I did.
Yeah, am I going to loseopportunities?
Yeah, I did, because I wasn'tbeing what people associated me
to be anymore and that was hard.
That was a whole thing in itselfbecause it's like, you know,
like whenever God is like, youknow, to the rich young ruler,
(26:23):
give me everything, tellyourself stuff, go and follow me
, and he'd like nah, like,people are like yeah, it's not
and it don't make sense and it'sso scary.
It's so scary, but it's himbecause you're like okay, god,
if you're doing this and you'retelling me to do this, I have to
believe that you're going toprovide for me along this
(26:45):
journey and I can't allow evenmy hair to be what I rely on.
Like I know, if I do a bombhair tutorial and do this, I
know like the brands are goingto notice and I'm going to be
able to do this and I know howto work that I had to stop doing
that because it was removingspace for God to do what he was
trying to do.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Right, and I listened to your daughter too, as you
evolve, almost like teaching herand if she's young, but like
you're literally evolving infront of her eyes and teaching
her how to like.
Let God strip you completelybecause it's totally different
and I know kids are young butthey notice.
(27:27):
They notice like how we evenchange in our mannerism.
Yes, we do, and I think it'sjust very, very like cool to see
.
I'm sure, yeah, like yourdaughter.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
Yeah, oh well, she, and she definitely notices,
because I mean, she wants to doeverything I do, right, and she
wants to do her makeup.
And even now it's like me and myhusband like produce a podcast
and we like do content all thetime.
And she's like, are you going tothe photo shoot today or are
you doing the podcast today?
And I tell her, yeah, no, and Ibring her in, like I'm honest
(28:00):
with her because I'm like she'sgoing to grow up with like,
first off, the fact that mydaughter is going to grow up
with a healed Jade is likealready like different the fact
that she's going to grow up withlike a healed dad, which is
already so beyond what I couldever imagine for her.
So now it's like I really seelike my journey as a mom, as
(28:22):
like this journey that I takewith my kids, of like being very
transparent and honest aboutwhat it means to be a woman and
showing them like the ebbs andflows of that, but not from a
place of like toxicity and likeunhealed trauma, but from a
place of like grace and likemercy and just being this gentle
comforter that they know as,and they can see elements of God
(28:43):
in as their mom.
You know what I mean and likeeven the way that I treat my
husband like I was not alwaysgentle, I wasn't always like
sweet, you know.
And that's what I was going toask.
What's been the?
Speaker 3 (28:54):
evolution of your relationship from like the
beginning.
Like did you guys both evolve?
Like was, were you guys intandem?
Speaker 1 (29:00):
the whole time.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
Yeah, like, how did that?
Speaker 1 (29:03):
Well, really it was.
It's funny Like we've reallybeen in tandem really.
He's always set the tone,though.
Like my husband grew up inchurch like Wednesday night,
friday, saturday, sunday, likehe was in it.
But when he got older heactually experienced abuse from
(29:24):
a pastor when he was like in histeenage years, and he's shared
this publicly.
Now he tries to help other menkind of like talk through and
walk through this journey ofhealing from, like you know, a
porn addiction, being abused,sexually abused as a kid and as
a you know, a teenage boy byanother man, all that kind of
stuff.
So he walked into his adultyears with a lot of like church
(29:44):
hurt and also was just like I'mnot here for this and with yo I
mean and and.
But the thing is, in his corehe always had a love for God
that like no one could disruptfor him.
So even he never even took hisfirst drink until he was like 23
.
Me, on the other hand, I was 12.
Okay, so like I'm a differenttype, okay, I had a different
(30:07):
upbringing, Okay, but I say allthat to say like he really
essentially started.
Essentially he went out intothe world and was like the
wayward son, Like he was out inthese streets and especially
working for a brand like Nike.
He was like out here and verymuch so like living it up, and
it wasn't until we met that weboth were like at the peak of
(30:28):
both of our experiences in thoseworlds.
Like me as a beauty blogger,beauty influencer, flying all
over LA, New York every otherweek shooting content, shooting
with brands, like doingcampaigns, all of that and
getting flown out with brandslike going on trips, all these
things.
No, no, no no like seriously, wewere really like living that
life and even him with Nike,like you know, just having the
(30:50):
access and the you know beingaround certain types of athletes
and people and things.
We were both like very much soin our own will and our own kind
of ego, pride all that and wemet like that and loved each
other like that.
But we also had some toxicityin that Right.
So, like the fact that we foundeach other, I think that was
the enemy's greatest attack wastrying to keep us away, like
(31:12):
cause he knew when we met wemight have been a mess, but
together like we have growntremendously.
I we talk about all the timewe're like if we ourselves met
each other, met us, back then wewouldn't, like, us Like we
wouldn't want to hang out wewant to be like oh, they're
laying they're boring, theydon't do nothing Like we would
(31:34):
have been.
That would have been therelationship, but I just I'm so
grateful because, like Godreally gave me a man that led me
into this and one of my biggestmoments in my like spiritual
walk has was this one time whenwe were in a fight and and and I
was just I mean giving it tohim.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
He was like giving it like oh man, oh, you already
know, you already know when youalready riled up.
Speaker 3 (32:03):
And I didn't even forget anything.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
Yeah, I didn't even forget anything.
It was one of them.
One of them ones, Okay, and Ijust gave it to him and he
looked at me and he just gave mea hug and said I love you and I
was like what you doing withthis.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
My husband has to believe that we're here as well,
but you said sorry, too soon,right, and then you don't know
what to do.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
I was dumbfounded and I was like that's the first
time I experienced God's gracefrom a person in a moment, and
it changed me, and that wasliterally I was pregnant with
Micah, so this was a few monthsbefore the name change and
(32:51):
everything.
But that was like a cornerstonechange that got me on the path,
because it was like, yeah, wehad been talking about church,
we had been watching TCTransformation Church faithfully
since like 2018.
But it's different when it'slike you're learning about God
and learning about Jesus andhearing somebody talk to you
about it.
You take notes and things likethat.
(33:13):
But when you start, it's a hightense situation and then you
actually operate with one of thefruits of the spirit.
It's like a game changer.
And so that's where we got andit just shifted both of us and
so we kept growing.
We had a season where God waslike every Wednesday, y'all got
(33:33):
to be together.
You can't do no work, can't dono this.
And y'all got to be togetherand y'all got to do devotion
together every day.
So we started proud.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
I'm like, hey, god, you're giving me a lot of
instructions.
I was mad.
You gave me a man.
Yes, you gave me a man, and ofcourse, all these instructions
are coming from my husband.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
And I'm like God touch you that.
You didn't tell you that, I'mpretty sure, because I just had
a baby and I would love to goback to doing what lipstick and
curls do, but that was part ofit.
It was like I had to recognizethe God operating in my husband
and really trust and submit andI was kicking and screaming for
a lot of that.
(34:12):
I was, I really was, but that'sgood to admit.
No, truly, because it wasn'tcute, pretty.
I'm sorry, I'm not one of thosepeople that just effortlessly
walked through.
No, it was hard, it was hard.
Speaker 2 (34:26):
I think what social media is too.
It's easy for people to seeEven us doing this talk if we
didn't say yo, it's still verydifficult to do the thing, and
because they start to think well, maybe it looks so pretty and
it looks so good that maybe Ican't do it Because I'm
struggling too much.
Speaker 3 (34:46):
Like I'm kicking and screaming a little too much.
No, you're not, you just got tokeep going.
That can't be gone because itwould be easy.
No, it would be easy.
It's actually going to be hard.
It would all just fall in mylap.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
Yeah, absolutely not.
Obedience is hard, butobedience is better than
sacrifice.
So I'd rather obey than give upsomething that I don't want to
give up because I don't want tolisten, and that was part of it
was like I wrestled with theobedience part.
I mean, it was a point where,even a year or two ago, my
husband has had ministryprophesied over him since he was
(35:16):
a little kid, but he didn'tcare, he kept doing what he
wanted.
Speaker 3 (35:21):
But yeah, it don't matter.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
So he had that on him .
I never got that.
I've never been in spaces toeven have that spoken on me or
anything like that.
But his mom started bringing itup around the time when we came
back to Dallas because westarted being around family
again and there was a pointwhere I was just like do not say
the M word in this house.
I don't want to hear it, Idon't want to hear nobody's
(35:44):
first lady, because my versionwas like I don't go to church,
like that, I'm not in that world.
That's not me and I really wasvery not with it at all.
And but also it's like I wasscared because I'm like I don't
want to be that version, I don'twant to be.
(36:07):
But it was like I said earlier,it's like the thing you want
before your transformation isnot the thing that you want.
You know what I mean.
Like it's like not going to bewhat you expect.
It's not going to be, you know,and so and I'm finally at the
place where I'm like I actuallyrealize that, like my desires
are matched up with God and I'mso grateful to be here now
(36:28):
because it's way harder whenyou're fighting for God wants,
because his will is going tocome, like it's going to pass,
it's.
You can't fight it, you can'tavoid it, you have to just go
for it.
And it's about how you want tomanage through it, like, do you
want to kick and scream thewhole time or do you want to
just like?
You know, and that's how it'sbeen for me, it's like I've
kicked and screamed but also I'mlike I'm just going to do it.
I'm just going to push into it,push into the resistance, and
(36:51):
know that, like God is tellingme to do this, he has to sustain
it.
If I'm building it on him likehe's going to maintain it, like
he's going to, and I'm juststewarding, I'm not responsible
for any of this stuff.
It's not my burden to carry,it's his and I'm just.
You know, I'm just doing mything and there's grace for me
along the journey and that's it,you know did you ever feel like
(37:12):
there was a place where you gotstuck?
Hmm.
Speaker 2 (37:15):
And you had to like, literally crawl.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
Oh man, I think, honestly, if I could say, if
there was like I don't thinkthere was necessarily a part of
my journey that has been like astuck moment, it's definitely
been a.
Well, I think I'm not givingmyself enough credit, because I
think like even the amount I'vechanged in like two or three
years has been very exponentialcompared to other people's
(37:42):
journey.
And not to be comparative inthat way, but to tell myself
like I thought I was crawlingand dragging myself and in all
actuality I was walking swiftly,yeah, and even though it felt
like a drag doubt, you know, I'mgetting dragged to your drag
there in my body, likespiritually, I was just filling
(38:02):
myself up everywhere I could goand like, yes, in the beginning
I did not want to listen toworship music 24 seven.
I was actually irritated likeMark Mark would literally oh, my
God, I knew something else.
Yes, it was a.
It was a season where he wasplaying it 24 seven in our house
and I was just like my God, ifI hear this Mavisiddhi song one
(38:24):
more time, I'm just not.
Speaker 3 (38:27):
That was like the only worship music that existed.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
Especially with New Christian.
Speaker 3 (38:32):
Yes, new.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
Christian Like Mavisiddhi is Christian.
This way there's like anotherNew.
Speaker 1 (38:36):
Christian oh my gosh.
Yes and so.
But I realized later on as Igrew it was like it wasn't.
It was me that was, that didn'tlike it, but it was also the
spirits in me that I stillneeded to get out that still
were making their way out.
Speaker 3 (38:50):
And so music speaks to you.
Yes, Consciousness really movesyou, 100% the spirits.
They didn't like that, they didnot like it, they didn't hear
it.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
No, they did not, they absolutely did not, and so
I had to.
You didn't hear it that far.
Speaker 2 (39:03):
Yeah, I don't want to be tribe by the fact.
No, listen, don't purify meRight.
Speaker 3 (39:09):
That far.
Okay, you have to ask it thatfar, oh my.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
God, yes, like no, please don't Cause.
I think like it's the otherpiece of it, too right, when you
think about like what God hasplanned out for you and your
purpose and all the enemy can dois like delay it or, like you
know, distract you or whatever.
And I think a lot of people staydistracted because the
distractions are so comfortableand work so well, and even
(39:32):
sometimes the distractions usedto be God's blessings, but now
we've kept running with the balland we were supposed to pass it
, you know, two, three years ago.
So, like you're now, you're outof step and all of that.
It's like you have to recognizethat like the path for you is
going to be better than what youcan imagine, what you can put
together for yourself.
(39:52):
It is beyond what you, you havethe capacity to understand.
And if you're not doing that,then you're always going to fall
into seasons where it's justlike this don't feel right, this
don't look right, this, thisthing that I built, it was great
and then it just crashed downand like why am I going back and
forth?
Why, yeah, and like Lord islike I was trying to get your
(40:14):
attention before you took thatleft turn and started building
something that I wasn't involved.
I never told you to do.
Speaker 3 (40:21):
And then if you don't do it, your kids have like
generational curses.
So it's like if you do try toavoid it and you make it to 60,
70, whatever, like it don'tleave your family, no, it's on.
Some Children now go throughthe whole process.
Speaker 1 (40:33):
Yes, and it's always going to be harder.
It's always going to be harderfor them because it's like the
generational curse yes, and thenI'm going to have to get a
backpedal before I can startreally pedaling.
And like the enemy is after yougenerationally, so he's been
trying to come for you since wayback when.
Okay, and he knows your lineagebetter than you do.
And I think like that's one ofthe worst misconceptions are not
(40:55):
worse, maybe most dangerousones.
It's like especially our age andlike our generation is like
well, if I make the decision,it's about my life and about my
kids.
And it's like, hold on, youplay in a game.
You think it's checkers.
It's really chess, yeah, andthe enemy's been playing chess
with your family specificallybecause he saw you coming down
the pipeline 20 generations agoand he's like, however, I can
(41:18):
move these pieces to make surethat she don't get to where
she's supposed to be at thattime with that person, then
great, I'm going to give hermore of this because she likes
it, and I know she liked itbecause her grandma like it, and
you know what I mean, all ofthat stuff.
So it's like the this whole likeconcept of like just focusing
on the right now and like, just,your life is just.
(41:39):
It's such a misconception and adeception for our like
generation because we think,well, I'm just going to do what
I want to do, and it's like,baby, no, there's a bigger game.
I didn't bigger game, there's abigger plan at play.
That like, if you don't do yourpart, then God's will going to
get done with girl.
It's like, let's believe hegoing to make it happen.
But it could have been you, yep.
Speaker 3 (41:59):
Yeah, and that's very important, because crystal
where my girl Christmas you know, I talked about this once and
people think what's for you willalways be for you, but it's,
it's about God, yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
God will find somebody else.
Speaker 3 (42:12):
Yes, Because it's for his glory, not your glory so
you don't want to listen Period.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
It's fine.
Speaker 3 (42:18):
It doesn't mean he won't find something good for
you when you get there.
Speaker 2 (42:22):
But yeah he'll give it to somebody.
Speaker 1 (42:24):
Yes, he'll give it to somebody else, because if he,
needs it done in that momentit's going to get done in that
moment.
Yeah, and it just it's notgoing to be with you and like
that's my thing, I'm like let itbe you.
Like let it be you and don'tmiss out.
Yeah, because you will miss outon something great if you don't
align yourself with what Godhas for you.
Speaker 2 (42:41):
Yeah, Wow, Well, before we wrap, because you have
given us all the things plusthe moms.
Actually, honestly, I thinkthis episode specifically is
going to speak to all of ouraunties yes, All like it's going
to speak to every, every woman.
Speaker 3 (43:01):
The husband's going to be going back around too.
Speaker 2 (43:04):
It's literally going to be for everyone, because
you're speaking about the way awoman evolves.
Yes, and yes, there'smotherhood and yes, there's, you
know, being a wife.
But there's something aboutwhen we submit to the transition
, submit to evolving the way Godalways called us to.
You know, evolve.
And so my last thing, before wewrap this, is just going to ask
(43:27):
you what would you say to a momor just a woman in general that
feels like they're right inthat place, that you were right
before you changed your namefrom lipstick and curls to jinko
.
Speaker 1 (43:39):
Okay, what would I say to you?
If you're in that, like thatplace, do it afraid.
Do it without a plan.
Your plan is not going to work.
It's not.
You might as well give it up.
God will tell you exactly whatmove to make every step of the
(43:59):
way.
Trust Him, guard your heart,guard your eyes, guard your ears
, because the enemy is going tobe coming after you and you've
got to be ready for that.
And the enemy will operatethrough people.
So, if you have people thatdon't have faith, like you,
start distancing.
Hone in on the people that knowwhat it is for real, and if
(44:21):
it's one person, it's one person, and if it's no one, god will
send help.
God will send help.
So just give yourself thatspace and do it afraid.
Thank you, jay, thank y'all.
Speaker 2 (44:36):
This is great, this is good, this is good, this is
really good, thank you guys forwatching.
Speaker 3 (44:41):
We really appreciate it.
We hope you share with othermothers aunties, husbands.
This episode you do not wantanybody to miss out on it.
So make sure when you're done,you subscribe, you like and
share.
Speaker 2 (44:57):
Make sure you subscribe, share it with someone
, leave some comments.
Speaker 3 (45:02):
Come on and get with us and all the things.
Speaker 2 (45:04):
But thank you so much for watching moms.
Actually we're mother, goodbyessisterhood Bye.
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, mom, my job is goingto be Data exploration and in at
the end I'm gonna low your PC,so I will have to imagine having
email at least once.
What's participate on the nextday as I leave for sera.
Well, we didn't have an躺v givenwinner and it was a student.
(45:24):
It was, oh my gosh, how manyhours.
The things that I thought I wanted.
I was like going into thesespaces and I'm like, oh my God,
I hate this.
Oh my God, I hate this, andI've been dreaming these things
up for years.
What's up, what's up, hey Moa,what's up, what's up.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Hey Moa, what's up.
Hey Moa, what's up.
Hey Moa, what's up.
Well, welcome back to thisweek's episode of Moms.
Actually, we have Jade here,hello, welcome to our home for
the week.
Oh my gosh, we are so excited.
It's beautiful, it's a wholesituation.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Ok, how are you feeling?
I'm feeling great.
First off, the weather isincredible.
Outside it's like that perfectspring, warm but not hot, and in
Texas that's like a dime adozen.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
OK, because it's about to be hot.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
All right, but it's beautiful.
The water's right outside thishouse is gorgeous you all are
like everyone.
It's giving peace, it's givingpeace.
So, yes, I feel great, feelgreat.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
We're really excited to have you.
I'm Morgan, this is Blair, solet's get started.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Let's get started.
So you've watched this before,so you know we usually start
with the game.
So we are going to do a rapidfire for it's Giving Motherhood.
So we are going to ask you aquestion and you tell us your
immediate answer.
Ooh.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
OK, the first answer.
It's the right answer.
Ok, ok, you ready.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
Toddlers Ooh, is that the word?
Speaker 1 (01:20):
That's it.
I got two at home.
Yeah, South here, oh, like fillup Like fill me up All right,
yeah, date night.
Oh, my husband.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
I just like love him so much.
Hair, chopped it off.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
OK, ok, ha ha ha.
Step mom, I love it.
It's not easy and it's a placethat I'm trying to grow in,
still getting used to.
Yeah, yeah, postpartum.
Ooh, I'm coming out of it andI'm feeling better than the last
(01:57):
two times I came out of it.
So, yeah, nice.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
And the last one, lipstick and curls.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Oh, sometimes I miss her, sometimes I miss her.
But ooh, why am I alreadygetting emotional?
Sometimes I miss her, but I'mhappy to be Jade Godbolt now, so
yeah, what do you miss abouther?
Oh man, how am I alreadyemotional?
It's fine, this is where we'rehere.
(02:25):
Do you expect me to go At all,like I did not.
I've actually never.
I've told this part of my lifemultiple times and I never
really get emotional, but Idon't know.
It's the energy in here.
But I miss her in the season ofjust like excitement and
opportunity and just what it'slike when you're single and you
(02:49):
don't have any kids and youdon't have a husband and
everything is so like evergreenand just yeah, and that
excitement is what I miss themost.
And also feeling very confidentin myself and who I was at a
time.
I think, like as I became awife and a mom, you have those
seasons, you all know.
It's like you kind of questionyourself and also like where God
(03:11):
has taken me in growing as aperson, like I'm not her anymore
and I have to go through liketimes of grieving her but also
not looking at her as if she wasbad or if she was not worthy.
It was just a matter of likethere's evolution and change in
life and you grow as a personand it's OK to miss who you were
(03:32):
at a time and so it's kind ofthat balance of like reminisce
but don't regret, and like don'tstay there too long, because
then you start living in thepast and not in the present.
So that's kind of like whereI've been with hers, like I love
that time of my life, I lovewhat it represented for me, but
she's gone.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
So I love that because it actually goes into
one of the first questions Iwanted to ask you.
Ok.
Is like at what point?
Because I've actually beenfollowing you I'm stalking For
over 10 years.
No way.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Yes, morgan.
What yes, I did not know this.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
I have been a loyal lipstick and curls follower.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Oh my gosh, OK maybe, so that's why I'm feeling
emotional, because you're theone with the history.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
OK, maybe that's, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
I'm picking up something where it's like y'all
know what it is for some reason,and we can all reminisce about
her a little bit yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Truly so.
I remember following you andthis was your journey and
everything, and then just to seeyou evolve and I wanted to know
at what point in your life didyou decide you wanted to pretty
much just change the way theworld?
Speaker 3 (04:40):
knew you, because you're doing it publicly.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
You're literally evolving in a different way, and
I know we all evolve, rightyeah, but in the way that you're
doing it, it catches my eyeintensely.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
I mean thank you for saying that, because I've talked
about this here and there inthis new part of it, because I
think it's been this journeythat I've been on, but it's
definitely been spirit led andnot something I planned.
Like God told me to change myname, so I changed it.
There was no strategy, therewas no, I mean y'all.
(05:16):
I even went on YouTube and I'mlike, how do you do a rebrand?
Like, how do you do that?
The YouTuber YouTube, trulyLike, how do you?
You know, because it's a heavylift.
Honestly, it's not easy.
Like I had so many articles,press things all mentioning
lipstick and curls, but not myactual name, which also I'm
(05:39):
using my married name nowGodbolt.
My name before was Jade Kendall.
So even when I was referencingSEO, just SEO alone is like I
lose all that decade, over adecade of data and searchability
and things and people knowingme is that and so that was hard
and so it wasn't like I wantedto do it.
It was like if I don't listento him, it's gonna be bad.
(06:03):
So like let me obey.
And I just started that and hekept pushing on me to like talk
about him on my platform and Iremember like praying and being
like first off, I don't wanna dothis.
Let's just put that out there.
I don't wanna do it, okay.
And also it's like right, Ialso don't want to make my
content all about you.
(06:24):
Like I did not want that.
That's bold, though I did notwant it, and yet he was like you
have to, like you have to.
And so I just started and itjust continued.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
Here we are Listening to a sermon at church.
I can't remember if it wasPastor Manny O'Ringo or it was
Travis Travis Green, but theywere talking about you know how,
like Peter's name was changed,a lot of the disciples' name
were changed, and he was sayingtheir names weren't really
changed.
It was their original names,that God had called them.
So it's like not what the worldcalled them or their mom it's
(07:00):
like it was like God broughtthem back to their original name
.
And I heard you say like youdidn't wanna talk about it, like
because, again, you're knownfor beauty and fashion and your
audience is so broad.
In short you're afraid to, kindof like, lose the little.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Oh yeah, and I did Like you do.
The thing is, you do, andthat's in the social media world
.
It's like how do you feel whenyou lose followers?
Well, no, it's not.
How do you feel when you losefollowers?
How do you feel when you losethousands?
And you not only lose thousands, but you also don't have the
same sort of engagement withpeople as you did before.
(07:36):
So it's like also which this iskind of deep, but it's a real
thing.
It's also like once I changedthe way that people were able to
categorize me or use me, whichwas idolizing my hair, idolizing
like my life, idolizing anyone.
Yeah, they didn't want meanymore.
So it's like I had reallycreated lipstick and curls into
(08:00):
an idol and I had presented thatto people, my goodness, and
they picked it up.
It also became an idol for me,so I had to break it down.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
And that's why God said no more.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
But I have a question , because God talks to us, god
tells us to do a lot of things,all the things here we are, and
usually we say no, like, oh, wekeep going regardless.
So what made you say yes tosomething you didn't?
Because, again, just becauseit's God don't mean we just be
like yep and do it.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
And what made you say , In addition to that question
before you answer is have youalways even been so strong in
your faith?
Speaker 1 (08:35):
Absolutely not so, because I know you talked about
that too.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
So that's something in conjunction with the question
, because, for someone not to bethat strong in their faith and
to hear God and say I know thisis your voice and I'm still
going to obey.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
That's a double whammy right now.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Yeah, that's the view Been in it don't follow.
Well, and that's the thing.
I think, why God is being sospecific with me and using me in
this way, is because he builtme up in this platform to be one
thing and this is the thing.
Lipstick and Curls was ablessing at a time.
So it's like understanding whenit's time to move, like when
(09:09):
the cloud moves, you go with thecloud.
So it's like at its season,lipstick and Curls was this
platform, this avenue thatallowed me freedom of expression
and to build a name for myself,but also to support my family
and buy a home and take care ofmy.
You know what I mean.
That did so many things.
But it also came with thisother side of it, which came
with entitlement, which camewith, like, I had a lot of, yes,
(09:32):
people around me and kind ofstarted feeling myself to a
certain degree.
And it wasn't until, like,wifehood and motherhood came in
the door where I was like, oh,I'm not, like, I'm not, it's
humbling, it's humbling, it'svery humbling.
So, like to the point of like.
You know, I grew up consideringmyself a Christian, but I didn't
(09:53):
grow up going to church.
I did not see myself assomebody who, even I never did
Bible studies like that.
I never was not that person.
I was not.
But I will say that throughoutmy whole life, I always had this
special connection with Godthat I would notice and I
understood, but I didn't havethe language for so, like, I
always talked to him, but I, inmy mind, it was like me talking
(10:16):
to myself, but it wasn't.
It was because I, for somereason, I always felt like there
was something there respondingin a way, and it wasn't with
words, but I just knew that Iwasn't just talking to myself,
it was something bigger.
So, fast forward, when I eventook the leap to just do
lipstick and curls full-time,which was in 2016, I had, I was
(10:36):
in my last semester of gradschool and so I was like, okay,
I guess I got to go get a realjob now, because I, because I
had been building lipstick andcurls since you know, like 2010.
And you know, yeah, a long time, okay, a long time, and I
really wasn't getting paid, likethere wasn't, no, there wasn't
this concept of like being ableto do it for a living, you know.
(10:56):
And so I didn't have thatanticipation.
But but, as I got closer andcloser to actually deciding to
go full-time.
It was like this like thing inmy stomach and my soul was just
like you do this.
And God made other things thatI was trying to go do
uncomfortable, that the thingsthat I thought I wanted.
I was like going into thesespaces and I'm like, oh my God,
(11:20):
I hate this.
Oh my God, I hate this.
And I've been dreaming thesethings up for years and you know
I would always kind ofinvalidate lipstick and curls
because I'm like at that timeI'm like I don't want to tell
people I do YouTube and they'relike what is YouTube Like?
Speaker 3 (11:33):
what do you mean?
Speaker 1 (11:33):
you do YouTube.
But I'm like, even I tell thestory, I'll tell them, like you
think it was only like 40 yearsold.
Yeah, well, well, yeah, at thattime.
But even in, even in 2016, Iwas not telling people.
It was like my two worlds, thatI had my internet life and my
real life, and I would not tellpeople because I would just be
embarrassed by it for somereason.
I don't know.
(11:54):
It's a weird thing.
I feel like old schoolYouTubers would understand this,
but like.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
It's like a very telling people.
You have a podcast.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
My daughter, literally two days ago she was
like Mom, I really don't knowhow to tell people what you do.
Got it.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Yeah, right, it's a thing, so it's still very fresh
and new in a certain way.
So, like I would not tellpeople, even though I had this
large following already, andlike people knew me from this,
but I did not tell people.
And so when all these thingswere kind of like going awry, I
was like, okay, I actually wasabout to quit lip sticking curls
in 2015, like the end of 2015.
(12:29):
That's a whole nother story.
But I was basically like I'mgoing to put lip sticking curls
down so I can focus on my career, because I got to do so.
I'm a grown up.
Like I got to.
What was the career?
The career was actually instudent affairs and higher
education.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
Okay, so like my yeah .
Speaker 1 (12:42):
So, like I had my master's in education policy and
leadership focusing on, like,student affairs, I wanted to be
a VP of student affairs.
I wanted to go get my PhD, Iwanted to do all this stuff
right.
All these plans were not hisplans clearly.
So so, yeah, so I going throughmy last semester, it's getting
worse and worse and worse.
At this point I'm still likeI'm kind of not doing lip
(13:02):
sticking curls anymore.
I need to focus.
And then I literally get anemail from an agency asking me
if I wanted to be in a Colgatecommercial.
And I'm like, Huh, yes, Forwhat?
And then, like, and then theywere like looking for beauty
bloggers and I kept telling themI'm like I'm a YouTuber, Like I
don't, I'm not a blogger.
I mean, I have a website butI'm not a blogger.
And they're like we don't care.
(13:23):
And I, and so we were shootingthis, you know, international
commercial for Colgate in Miami,and Mariana Hewitt is like the
co, the other girl that they got, and I didn't even know who
Mariana was.
She like the biggest beautyblogger in the world.
I don't even know who she is,yeah, and so you know she's got
her photographer, she's got, youknow, her team and stuff at the
set.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
And I'm like she's showing up Like hello, hey, hey.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
And I asked the agency people I'm like, how did
y'all like find me?
And like, how did you?
Because I didn't havemanagement at this time I had
let go of my manager at the timeand they were just like we sent
like 200 names to the brand andthey picked you.
Yeah, and I was like, okay,guys.
So I'm there and I'm likesitting in front of the cameras
and it's like I've never been ona set like this before.
(14:08):
I never experienced.
But I was just like I felt apeace and like a very comfort
there.
I was not nervous and I wasjust like, oh, my gosh, damay,
this is what I'm supposed to bedoing.
And and yeah.
So one thing led to another.
I get back home and then I geta cold email from this woman who
ends up becoming my manager.
She's based in LA and then,literally a week or two later, I
(14:31):
meet my husband, the man whowould become my husband, and
then he found me because he waslooking for influencers for his
job for Nike.
So like it was like okay, god,if you, I mean, what else can
you tell me to?
do so, that's one thing afteranother going well where I was
like all right, so I guess I'mnot supposed to get a real job.
I guess I'm supposed to like belips A traditional job.
(14:55):
Now I'm comfortable saying it'sa real job.
Okay.
Contact creation is not youknow for the word Okay.
But back then, especially, Iwas still like parents who just
paid for my graduate school.
Are y'all going to be okay?
But they were Okay, my dad,y'all my dad was like what did
you think about doing thisbefore?
(15:15):
I was trying to make you proudyou didn't say that when you
were signing these checks forthis private institution
education, but anyway.
So yeah, I just and.
But that was the first timethat I really took a leap of
faith and follow what God wastelling me and actually I would
(15:35):
say halfway recognized that itwas God.
I was still like, okay, I thinkit's always that uncertainty.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
When you are fully certain, then you don't have any
faith to lead away.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Right, you know what I mean, I mean in my you know,
kind of like non, I guess, babyChristian E not really baby, not
really.
You know, like I didn't know, Ididn't, I didn't have friends
that were, that was not my world.
So like I was just like, okay,I guess I'm just going to go
with my gut, I'm going to do thething that I'm scared of and
(16:05):
just go with it.
And, lo and behold, like Irecognize later that that was
signs in that season, showed methat like, oh, when that's how
God moves for me, that's how hecommunicates with me, those are
the things that in little waysthat I remember, like personal
things where I'm like okay, god,like when you start moving like
this, when my life startslooking like this, that's how I
(16:25):
know you want me to do something.
So, bringing it all the way backto this season, for me it's
like he started doing thingslike that he started allowing
things to get real uncomfortableand I was like, oh, this feels
like that season, yeah, but thistime it was, you know, a
totally different version and itwas like it wasn't just about
me.
(16:45):
It was like my husband, my kids, like my livelihood, like my
brand, and it was like I knewthat he had given me the
platform, but now he was like Ineed it back and I was like
that's a word of a soul, it is.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
And people like to think that's not God.
They think if he's giving yousomething, it's got to go
forever.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
It's like you got to go where the cloud goes.
And, honestly, when he says,give it back to me, like you
know, like Abraham, and you knowwhat I mean like that whole
story is the same.
It's like are you going to giveit back?
And if you do, he'll redeem itand make it more and all those
things.
So I am trusting and expectinghim to do the same now and,
honestly, now that I'm here, Ido feel more confident, more
(17:28):
sure of myself.
I'm a healed person now.
So now when I do things with myplatform, there's just a
different level of me involvedin it and it feels so good and I
think, like if I could havetold myself before the rebrand
and all that, like I would tellmyself it's going to feel good
again, it's going to feel likeyou again.
(17:49):
It's just you're going througha season of transformation, so
what you like now you're notgoing to like then and the
things that you like then willnot be things you like now.
And so you have to trust that.
Like, if you feel resistance,go, keep going.
You got to just keep going,yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
How did that affect you with?
Like the friends?
Like you talk about losingfollowers.
And when you change your lifestyle, like how did it affect
your friends?
Speaker 1 (18:13):
Well, I did lose some friends along the way, but the
interesting thing of the timingof this too was like with COVID,
it was like you know right.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
Everybody.
Everybody lost friends yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
Because it really showed you like who's really
about that life and who's aboutyou, and for us, like we were
living in Portland for a timeand we had this like incredible,
like young couples,professionals, like community
that we had built and loved themso much.
But when we left Portland, thatbroke, you know, not broken a
sense of we're not friendsanymore, but it was like we're
(18:46):
not going to each other's houseevery week it changed the
dynamic right.
So and so like, when we cameback to Dallas, we're both, you
know, we have roots here, so we,you know we knew people, but we
had changed.
So it was like I'm notinterested in rekindling all my
friendships from before and I'malso there's a.
(19:06):
For whatever reason, god iskeeping that separation and when
we would try to reconnect ortry to do things in our old
lives, it just would not workout, wouldn't stick.
So we got very isolated and andsometimes that sucked.
But also it kind of cleared thefield for like the community
that we have now, which has beenso like a blessing and so
(19:30):
fruitful, and just like the typeof friends that I'm so grateful
for but I couldn't have hadprior to this kind of evolution
of myself and even of my husband, like we've been very vocal and
public about our transformationand like it's real.
It's like people go but likeagain, god redeems and so it's
like if you want friendship,you're going to get that 10
(19:53):
times full space for him.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Yeah, to do it with the right people.
Like I'm having a moment rightnow because literally I would
say right before I left to comefilm this God.
I was sitting in a worship umin a worship moment and I was
just kind of being still and Godkept saying I'm going to
replace it before you even loseit, and it just kept coming and
(20:18):
it kept coming and I'm hearingyou speak and it's even hearing
that it sounds good.
Right, it sounds like, oh mygosh, I won't even recognize
before it's lost.
But now, hearing you speak, Ithink it's something to even
like.
Go a little bit further withthe people who feel like I've
lost it, but it's already beenreplaced.
Yeah, Like before you even knewthat it was like it was already
(20:42):
there.
Speaker 3 (20:42):
You don't have to see it.
You don't have to see it.
It just means, god's alreadydone.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
It's already done, and that's the thing I feel like
was a big game changer for metoo was like when I stopped
thinking that I had to make itall happen, right, like you got
to go out and get it.
Well, really, when you're adaughter of the king, no, you
don't, you just don't.
And so it's like how, how muchstress do we carry on a regular
basis thinking that it's on us?
(21:07):
Yeah, it's like it's our burden,like it's our thing to lift up,
carry, take to the.
It's really not, and I'veallowed that not just to
penetrate my professional life,but also like my home life and
like parenting, especially likeme and God parent together.
Yeah, okay, we are locked steps, like you, the daddy too, yes.
You're the daddy too, like youfill up the gaps, like you know,
(21:30):
in a real way, because, like Irealized once I started
integrating in one section of mylife, god wants it all.
So he's kind of like right, he'slike I want it all and he's not
going to push you, he's justgoing to be like I'm waiting on
you, but I want it all.
Yeah, like, so you do it onyour time.
Yeah, it can take you two days,it can take you 20 years, but
(21:51):
like it's on your time.
Now, enter in wherever you openthe door for me.
That's how it works.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Yeah, so we could like parent parenthood.
I feel like practically as moms, we all know that when you're
reinventing yourself and you're,when you're going through the
journey and adding parenting andjust you just had like two
fresh babies pretty much back toback.
Yes, Like all of that in thesame time.
Speaker 3 (22:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
What is that like?
Because you also mentioned likepostpartum.
Speaker 3 (22:22):
You're rebranding yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
So it's like rebranding my everything.
It was hard.
I had to go to therapy.
I had to because, like in thebeginning of the transformation,
the real, true like change myname, part of it, which was more
of the latter, but kind of likethe most intense.
Like 20, I want to say 2022.
(22:46):
No, no, no, 2020 because we'rein 2023 now.
So 2021, it was the.
It was the fall time, it waslike October, and it was right
after.
Yeah, it was right after I hadmy son.
My son Micah was born July 2021and I changed my name October
2021 because it was very shortafter.
Speaker 3 (23:05):
So literally postpartum Displays 있�.
Maybe change of my life?
It'll do it.
It'll do it.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Change of my life, okay, change of my whole life
and so, like that's when I kindof started, that's when I first
chopped my hair, like the firstchop, which my hair used to be
like down to here, curly, yes,so it was long and huge and that
was my namesake and everything.
Clearly I'm like ball head eraand I love it.
Okay, just FYI, thank you.
But I chopped it to like abovemy shoulders and that was kind
(23:33):
of the first iteration of therebrand and kind of just the new
me and wearing it straight, andwearing it straight, you're
saying girls, girls, girls,girls, girls.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
No more curls.
Yes.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
There's so much work, so much work and when I had the
time it was great, I loved itand I love natural hair.
Like the thing is, I loveanything beauty.
Like I'm just obsessed withdifferent looks and different,
just how you can transform intolike different sides of you with
a different hairstyle.
Like I'm obsessed with that.
That is like that was the, thatwas the meat and potatoes of
lipstick and curls, which waslike be whoever you want to be
(24:05):
in.
The essence of even lipsticking curls, which is still
evident for me now, is like bewho you are and just enhance.
It's not about completelytransforming the way you look to
be something else or besomebody else, but it's about
how do I exude like the innerperson best out outwardly and so
, like I've always had thatessence in lip sticking curls,
(24:25):
and even till now.
So it's like my hair has alwaysbeen like a representation of
like where I am as a person andyou know so.
When I started chopping the hair, people noticed obviously when
I started wearing it straight,it was like I wanted to make it
clear this is not about me notloving natural hair or curly
hair or even my own hair or myown.
It's not about that.
(24:45):
It was behind closed doors.
I was burning it down in idle,so like I had to do that and I
had to, and literally God waslike you, don't wear your hair
curly.
Because it was tempting, evenwhen my hair was short and I
would wear it curly.
It was tempting for me to fallback into who lip sticking curls
was and because that was justmy natural habit.
(25:07):
So even through this processit's hard.
It was hard because my naturalinstinct is to still do a beauty
tutorial.
My natural instinct is to still, which I think is still fine
because now you're wearing thesame.
Now, yes, but in that season,you yes, and not like this thing
that I had built and that.
But I had to take a break.
I had to, like you know, workthrough that Because it wasn't
(25:30):
like I could just decide todaythat I was Jay Godboat and
tomorrow still be okay to do no,because you would have just
been convincing yourself it'sdifferent Because you changed
your name.
Speaker 3 (25:39):
Yes, it's different, but it wasn't it wasn't.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
It wasn't.
So I had to get rid of thething my hair that was pulling
me back into doing and that'sgoing to be different for
everybody.
What is that thing?
And a lot of times it's likepeople don't want to look at it
because it's like it brings youso much, but it's like I made
money from my hair.
Like I made money from my face.
I made money from these, thisbeauty, content, and so when God
(26:02):
was like change, shift, I wasjust like I'm going to lose
brand deals.
And I did.
Yeah, am I going to loseopportunities?
Yeah, I did, because I wasn'tbeing what people associated me
to be anymore and that was hard.
That was a whole thing in itselfbecause it's like, you know,
like whenever God is like, youknow, to the rich young ruler,
(26:23):
give me everything, tellyourself stuff, go and follow me
, and he'd like nah, like,people are like yeah, it's not
and it don't make sense and it'sso scary.
It's so scary, but it's himbecause you're like okay, god,
if you're doing this and you'retelling me to do this, I have to
believe that you're going toprovide for me along this
(26:45):
journey and I can't allow evenmy hair to be what I rely on.
Like I know, if I do a bombhair tutorial and do this, I
know like the brands are goingto notice and I'm going to be
able to do this and I know howto work that I had to stop doing
that because it was removingspace for God to do what he was
trying to do.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Right, and I listened to your daughter too, as you
evolve, almost like teaching herand if she's young, but like
you're literally evolving infront of her eyes and teaching
her how to like.
Let God strip you completelybecause it's totally different
and I know kids are young butthey notice.
(27:27):
They notice like how we evenchange in our mannerism.
Yes, we do, and I think it'sjust very, very like cool to see
.
I'm sure, yeah, like yourdaughter.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
Yeah, oh well, she, and she definitely notices,
because I mean, she wants to doeverything I do, right, and she
wants to do her makeup.
And even now it's like me and myhusband like produce a podcast
and we like do content all thetime.
And she's like, are you going tothe photo shoot today or are
you doing the podcast today?
And I tell her, yeah, no, and Ibring her in, like I'm honest
(28:00):
with her because I'm like she'sgoing to grow up with like,
first off, the fact that mydaughter is going to grow up
with a healed Jade is likealready like different the fact
that she's going to grow up withlike a healed dad, which is
already so beyond what I couldever imagine for her.
So now it's like I really seelike my journey as a mom, as
(28:22):
like this journey that I takewith my kids, of like being very
transparent and honest aboutwhat it means to be a woman and
showing them like the ebbs andflows of that, but not from a
place of like toxicity and likeunhealed trauma, but from a
place of like grace and likemercy and just being this gentle
comforter that they know as,and they can see elements of God
(28:43):
in as their mom.
You know what I mean and likeeven the way that I treat my
husband like I was not alwaysgentle, I wasn't always like
sweet, you know.
And that's what I was going toask.
What's been the?
Speaker 3 (28:54):
evolution of your relationship from like the
beginning.
Like did you guys both evolve?
Like was, were you guys intandem?
Speaker 1 (29:00):
the whole time.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
Yeah, like, how did that?
Speaker 1 (29:03):
Well, really it was.
It's funny Like we've reallybeen in tandem really.
He's always set the tone,though.
Like my husband grew up inchurch like Wednesday night,
friday, saturday, sunday, likehe was in it.
But when he got older heactually experienced abuse from
(29:24):
a pastor when he was like in histeenage years, and he's shared
this publicly.
Now he tries to help other menkind of like talk through and
walk through this journey ofhealing from, like you know, a
porn addiction, being abused,sexually abused as a kid and as
a you know, a teenage boy byanother man, all that kind of
stuff.
So he walked into his adultyears with a lot of like church
(29:44):
hurt and also was just like I'mnot here for this and with yo I
mean and and.
But the thing is, in his corehe always had a love for God
that like no one could disruptfor him.
So even he never even took hisfirst drink until he was like 23
.
Me, on the other hand, I was 12.
Okay, so like I'm a differenttype, okay, I had a different
(30:07):
upbringing, Okay, but I say allthat to say like he really
essentially started.
Essentially he went out intothe world and was like the
wayward son, Like he was out inthese streets and especially
working for a brand like Nike.
He was like out here and verymuch so like living it up, and
it wasn't until we met that weboth were like at the peak of
(30:28):
both of our experiences in thoseworlds.
Like me as a beauty blogger,beauty influencer, flying all
over LA, New York every otherweek shooting content, shooting
with brands, like doingcampaigns, all of that and
getting flown out with brandslike going on trips, all these
things.
No, no, no no like seriously, wewere really like living that
life and even him with Nike,like you know, just having the
(30:50):
access and the you know beingaround certain types of athletes
and people and things.
We were both like very much soin our own will and our own kind
of ego, pride all that and wemet like that and loved each
other like that.
But we also had some toxicityin that Right.
So, like the fact that we foundeach other, I think that was
the enemy's greatest attack wastrying to keep us away, like
(31:12):
cause he knew when we met wemight have been a mess, but
together like we have growntremendously.
I we talk about all the timewe're like if we ourselves met
each other, met us, back then wewouldn't, like, us Like we
wouldn't want to hang out wewant to be like oh, they're
laying they're boring, theydon't do nothing Like we would
(31:34):
have been.
That would have been therelationship, but I just I'm so
grateful because, like Godreally gave me a man that led me
into this and one of my biggestmoments in my like spiritual
walk has was this one time whenwe were in a fight and and and I
was just I mean giving it tohim.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
He was like giving it like oh man, oh, you already
know, you already know when youalready riled up.
Speaker 3 (32:03):
And I didn't even forget anything.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
Yeah, I didn't even forget anything.
It was one of them.
One of them ones, Okay, and Ijust gave it to him and he
looked at me and he just gave mea hug and said I love you and I
was like what you doing withthis.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
My husband has to believe that we're here as well,
but you said sorry, too soon,right, and then you don't know
what to do.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
I was dumbfounded and I was like that's the first
time I experienced God's gracefrom a person in a moment, and
it changed me, and that wasliterally I was pregnant with
Micah, so this was a few monthsbefore the name change and
(32:51):
everything.
But that was like a cornerstonechange that got me on the path,
because it was like, yeah, wehad been talking about church,
we had been watching TCTransformation Church faithfully
since like 2018.
But it's different when it'slike you're learning about God
and learning about Jesus andhearing somebody talk to you
about it.
You take notes and things likethat.
(33:13):
But when you start, it's a hightense situation and then you
actually operate with one of thefruits of the spirit.
It's like a game changer.
And so that's where we got andit just shifted both of us and
so we kept growing.
We had a season where God waslike every Wednesday, y'all got
(33:33):
to be together.
You can't do no work, can't dono this.
And y'all got to be togetherand y'all got to do devotion
together every day.
So we started proud.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
I'm like, hey, god, you're giving me a lot of
instructions.
I was mad.
You gave me a man.
Yes, you gave me a man, and ofcourse, all these instructions
are coming from my husband.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
And I'm like God touch you that.
You didn't tell you that, I'mpretty sure, because I just had
a baby and I would love to goback to doing what lipstick and
curls do, but that was part ofit.
It was like I had to recognizethe God operating in my husband
and really trust and submit andI was kicking and screaming for
a lot of that.
(34:12):
I was, I really was, but that'sgood to admit.
No, truly, because it wasn'tcute, pretty.
I'm sorry, I'm not one of thosepeople that just effortlessly
walked through.
No, it was hard, it was hard.
Speaker 2 (34:26):
I think what social media is too.
It's easy for people to seeEven us doing this talk if we
didn't say yo, it's still verydifficult to do the thing, and
because they start to think well, maybe it looks so pretty and
it looks so good that maybe Ican't do it Because I'm
struggling too much.
Speaker 3 (34:46):
Like I'm kicking and screaming a little too much.
No, you're not, you just got tokeep going.
That can't be gone because itwould be easy.
No, it would be easy.
It's actually going to be hard.
It would all just fall in mylap.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
Yeah, absolutely not.
Obedience is hard, butobedience is better than
sacrifice.
So I'd rather obey than give upsomething that I don't want to
give up because I don't want tolisten, and that was part of it
was like I wrestled with theobedience part.
I mean, it was a point where,even a year or two ago, my
husband has had ministryprophesied over him since he was
(35:16):
a little kid, but he didn'tcare, he kept doing what he
wanted.
Speaker 3 (35:21):
But yeah, it don't matter.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
So he had that on him .
I never got that.
I've never been in spaces toeven have that spoken on me or
anything like that.
But his mom started bringing itup around the time when we came
back to Dallas because westarted being around family
again and there was a pointwhere I was just like do not say
the M word in this house.
I don't want to hear it, Idon't want to hear nobody's
(35:44):
first lady, because my versionwas like I don't go to church,
like that, I'm not in that world.
That's not me and I really wasvery not with it at all.
And but also it's like I wasscared because I'm like I don't
want to be that version, I don'twant to be.
(36:07):
But it was like I said earlier,it's like the thing you want
before your transformation isnot the thing that you want.
You know what I mean.
Like it's like not going to bewhat you expect.
It's not going to be, you know,and so and I'm finally at the
place where I'm like I actuallyrealize that, like my desires
are matched up with God and I'mso grateful to be here now
(36:28):
because it's way harder whenyou're fighting for God wants,
because his will is going tocome, like it's going to pass,
it's.
You can't fight it, you can'tavoid it, you have to just go
for it.
And it's about how you want tomanage through it, like, do you
want to kick and scream thewhole time or do you want to
just like?
You know, and that's how it'sbeen for me, it's like I've
kicked and screamed but also I'mlike I'm just going to do it.
I'm just going to push into it,push into the resistance, and
(36:51):
know that, like God is tellingme to do this, he has to sustain
it.
If I'm building it on him likehe's going to maintain it, like
he's going to, and I'm juststewarding, I'm not responsible
for any of this stuff.
It's not my burden to carry,it's his and I'm just.
You know, I'm just doing mything and there's grace for me
along the journey and that's it,you know did you ever feel like
(37:12):
there was a place where you gotstuck?
Hmm.
Speaker 2 (37:15):
And you had to like, literally crawl.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
Oh man, I think, honestly, if I could say, if
there was like I don't thinkthere was necessarily a part of
my journey that has been like astuck moment, it's definitely
been a.
Well, I think I'm not givingmyself enough credit, because I
think like even the amount I'vechanged in like two or three
years has been very exponentialcompared to other people's
(37:42):
journey.
And not to be comparative inthat way, but to tell myself
like I thought I was crawlingand dragging myself and in all
actuality I was walking swiftly,yeah, and even though it felt
like a drag doubt, you know, I'mgetting dragged to your drag
there in my body, likespiritually, I was just filling
(38:02):
myself up everywhere I could goand like, yes, in the beginning
I did not want to listen toworship music 24 seven.
I was actually irritated likeMark Mark would literally oh, my
God, I knew something else.
Yes, it was a.
It was a season where he wasplaying it 24 seven in our house
and I was just like my God, ifI hear this Mavisiddhi song one
(38:24):
more time, I'm just not.
Speaker 3 (38:27):
That was like the only worship music that existed.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
Especially with New Christian.
Speaker 3 (38:32):
Yes, new.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
Christian Like Mavisiddhi is Christian.
This way there's like anotherNew.
Speaker 1 (38:36):
Christian oh my gosh.
Yes and so.
But I realized later on as Igrew it was like it wasn't.
It was me that was, that didn'tlike it, but it was also the
spirits in me that I stillneeded to get out that still
were making their way out.
Speaker 3 (38:50):
And so music speaks to you.
Yes, Consciousness really movesyou, 100% the spirits.
They didn't like that, they didnot like it, they didn't hear
it.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
No, they did not, they absolutely did not, and so
I had to.
You didn't hear it that far.
Speaker 2 (39:03):
Yeah, I don't want to be tribe by the fact.
No, listen, don't purify meRight.
Speaker 3 (39:09):
That far.
Okay, you have to ask it thatfar, oh my.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
God, yes, like no, please don't Cause.
I think like it's the otherpiece of it, too right, when you
think about like what God hasplanned out for you and your
purpose and all the enemy can dois like delay it or, like you
know, distract you or whatever.
And I think a lot of people staydistracted because the
distractions are so comfortableand work so well, and even
(39:32):
sometimes the distractions usedto be God's blessings, but now
we've kept running with the balland we were supposed to pass it
, you know, two, three years ago.
So, like you're now, you're outof step and all of that.
It's like you have to recognizethat like the path for you is
going to be better than what youcan imagine, what you can put
together for yourself.
(39:52):
It is beyond what you, you havethe capacity to understand.
And if you're not doing that,then you're always going to fall
into seasons where it's justlike this don't feel right, this
don't look right, this, thisthing that I built, it was great
and then it just crashed downand like why am I going back and
forth?
Why, yeah, and like Lord islike I was trying to get your
(40:14):
attention before you took thatleft turn and started building
something that I wasn't involved.
I never told you to do.
Speaker 3 (40:21):
And then if you don't do it, your kids have like
generational curses.
So it's like if you do try toavoid it and you make it to 60,
70, whatever, like it don'tleave your family, no, it's on.
Some Children now go throughthe whole process.
Speaker 1 (40:33):
Yes, and it's always going to be harder.
It's always going to be harderfor them because it's like the
generational curse yes, and thenI'm going to have to get a
backpedal before I can startreally pedaling.
And like the enemy is after yougenerationally, so he's been
trying to come for you since wayback when.
Okay, and he knows your lineagebetter than you do.
And I think like that's one ofthe worst misconceptions are not
(40:55):
worse, maybe most dangerousones.
It's like especially our age andlike our generation is like
well, if I make the decision,it's about my life and about my
kids.
And it's like, hold on, youplay in a game.
You think it's checkers.
It's really chess, yeah, andthe enemy's been playing chess
with your family specificallybecause he saw you coming down
the pipeline 20 generations agoand he's like, however, I can
(41:18):
move these pieces to make surethat she don't get to where
she's supposed to be at thattime with that person, then
great, I'm going to give hermore of this because she likes
it, and I know she liked itbecause her grandma like it, and
you know what I mean, all ofthat stuff.
So it's like the this whole likeconcept of like just focusing
on the right now and like, just,your life is just.
(41:39):
It's such a misconception and adeception for our like
generation because we think,well, I'm just going to do what
I want to do, and it's like,baby, no, there's a bigger game.
I didn't bigger game, there's abigger plan at play.
That like, if you don't do yourpart, then God's will going to
get done with girl.
It's like, let's believe hegoing to make it happen.
But it could have been you, yep.
Speaker 3 (41:59):
Yeah, and that's very important, because crystal
where my girl Christmas you know, I talked about this once and
people think what's for you willalways be for you, but it's,
it's about God, yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
God will find somebody else.
Speaker 3 (42:12):
Yes, Because it's for his glory, not your glory so
you don't want to listen Period.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
It's fine.
Speaker 3 (42:18):
It doesn't mean he won't find something good for
you when you get there.
Speaker 2 (42:22):
But yeah he'll give it to somebody.
Speaker 1 (42:24):
Yes, he'll give it to somebody else, because if he,
needs it done in that momentit's going to get done in that
moment.
Yeah, and it just it's notgoing to be with you and like
that's my thing, I'm like let itbe you.
Like let it be you and don'tmiss out.
Yeah, because you will miss outon something great if you don't
align yourself with what Godhas for you.
Speaker 2 (42:41):
Yeah, Wow, Well, before we wrap, because you have
given us all the things plusthe moms.
Actually, honestly, I thinkthis episode specifically is
going to speak to all of ouraunties yes, All like it's going
to speak to every, every woman.
Speaker 3 (43:01):
The husband's going to be going back around too.
Speaker 2 (43:04):
It's literally going to be for everyone, because
you're speaking about the way awoman evolves.
Yes, and yes, there'smotherhood and yes, there's, you
know, being a wife.
But there's something aboutwhen we submit to the transition
, submit to evolving the way Godalways called us to.
You know, evolve.
And so my last thing, before wewrap this, is just going to ask
(43:27):
you what would you say to a momor just a woman in general that
feels like they're right inthat place, that you were right
before you changed your namefrom lipstick and curls to jinko
.
Speaker 1 (43:39):
Okay, what would I say to you?
If you're in that, like thatplace, do it afraid.
Do it without a plan.
Your plan is not going to work.
It's not.
You might as well give it up.
God will tell you exactly whatmove to make every step of the
(43:59):
way.
Trust Him, guard your heart,guard your eyes, guard your ears
, because the enemy is going tobe coming after you and you've
got to be ready for that.
And the enemy will operatethrough people.
So, if you have people thatdon't have faith, like you,
start distancing.
Hone in on the people that knowwhat it is for real, and if
(44:21):
it's one person, it's one person, and if it's no one, god will
send help.
God will send help.
So just give yourself thatspace and do it afraid.
Thank you, jay, thank y'all.
Speaker 2 (44:36):
This is great, this is good, this is good, this is
really good, thank you guys forwatching.
Speaker 3 (44:41):
We really appreciate it.
We hope you share with othermothers aunties, husbands.
This episode you do not wantanybody to miss out on it.
So make sure when you're done,you subscribe, you like and
share.
Speaker 2 (44:57):
Make sure you subscribe, share it with someone
, leave some comments.
Speaker 3 (45:02):
Come on and get with us and all the things.
Speaker 2 (45:04):
But thank you so much for watching moms.
Actually we're mother, goodbyessisterhood Bye.
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, mom, my job is goingto be Data exploration and in at
the end I'm gonna low your PC,so I will have to imagine having
email at least once.
What's participate on the nextday as I leave for sera.
Well, we didn't have an躺v givenwinner and it was a student.
(45:24):
It was, oh my gosh, how manyhours.
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