November 23, 2023 • 34 mins
Hey Ma! We’re hitting rewind and spotlighting our "MA Top 12" — the standout episodes from our first three seasons of Moms Actually. From October 12 to December 28, don’t miss the moments that defined us. Join us as a we take a trip down memory lane as we prepare for Season 4.
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We are unraveling the complexities of social media and its ever-growing influence on our everyday lives, parenthood, and mental health. From the pressure to post frequently and keep up with trends, we discuss our tendency to compare ourselves with others on these platforms and how it influences our habits, buying decisions, and parenting styles.
We are exploring:
- The dichotomy of social media as both a beneficial and detrimental tool.
- The importance of parental blocks, setting appropriate age limits for children
- The significance of open communication to safeguard them. The impact of celebrities and influencers shaping social media trends, creating a skewed perception of success and beauty.
- The addictive nature of social media and its myriad benefits.
- Acknowledging how social platforms have bridge gaps, connecting us with friends, families, and enabling us to reach people worldwide.
- The potential of social media to kickstart your dreams and passions,
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back to mom's , actually where motherhood
meets sisterhood.
So I am Stupa Rush, I'm Blairand I am Morgan.
And today we are discussingsocial media.
So before we jump into ourtopic, we're gonna play a game.
You guys already know we arediving into it's giving
(00:22):
motherhood.
So the gold side is yes yes.
And the white side means no,and then, if you're in between,
a little bit of a maybe.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Yeah, right, yeah, first answer, the right answer,
always, always.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
So I'm gonna go ahead and start.
Do you think social media ishelpful?
Yes, yes, yes, yes, 100%.
Do you think social media isharmful?
It can be.
It can, yes, yes.
Do you find yourself comparingyourself to others on social
media?
Speaker 2 (00:56):
certainly yes.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
For sure, just gonna keep it right, yeah.
Do you feel like social mediainfluences your daily habits and
purchases?
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Sometimes it depends yeah what like movement the
season Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Okay.
Have you made close friendsfrom social media?
Yes.
Do you get your news primarilyfrom social media?
Speaker 3 (01:19):
Yes, yeah, I even use Facebook.
Yeah, do you really?
Facebook has a news.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
I didn't know that was a thing you know I'm the
oldest you.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
I am a Facebook user.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
I use TikTok now to get my news.
Oh yeah, use the hashtag.
Oh Okay, jesus yes, do you findyourself mindlessly scrolling
on social media?
Be more than you would like.
Speaker 3 (01:41):
Yes, 100,000%.
Yes.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Do you take social media breaks for your mental
state?
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Yes, yes, not as often as I should.
Yeah, that's a good one.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Do you feel like you have to post often and keep up
with trends Sometimes?
Speaker 3 (01:54):
yeah, I feel like I don't yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Yeah, so I'm gonna hear last one.
Do you feel a pressure and howyou parent because of social
media?
Speaker 3 (02:03):
No kind of kind of have my, it's the same as the
last one, like, yeah, like I seeit and I want you, but then I
still do this, yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Yeah, that's a good point.
Mm-hmm Well, can you elaborateon that though?
Like why?
Why is it that you feel likeOkay?
Speaker 3 (02:23):
like it makes me feel like I should be cooking, like
when I cook, oh, I should havemy kids so that they can learn
how to do it.
I should, you know, be in theplayroom playing different games
and engaging them.
Yeah you know, like Creatingdifferent ways for them to learn
, and just being like, yeah, andI'm like, oh, that's so cool
and I'll save it, and I'll saveit and I'll screenshot it, and
(02:43):
then, mm-hmm, yeah, it don'thappen.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Yeah, I do, I save a lot of stuff.
I'm like that too.
I know I answered no, but I amlike that too.
I'm like, oh, that's a greatidea.
Yeah, but I don't feel like.
I think a lot of the thingsthat I see when it comes to
social media is like how youshould parent, or like what you
should say versus what youshould not say.
I see that a lot.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
I try that too.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
And then, yeah, for me it's just because I'm like
everybody's kid is so differentso I don't feel like I should
take their advice.
And then the things that I dosee, when it comes to like
people organizing really niceand all the stuff, then I think
like, do they do this every day,or is it just like what they do
once or twice a week?
Speaker 3 (03:23):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (03:24):
I'm gonna show them the clean part and then they'll
be like but I'm like yeah, solike because I know that, and
maybe it's also because we alldo social media to a certain
extent on a very full time basis.
So it's kind of like I knowwhat it is, you know what I mean
.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
So I'm kind of like but I will say that it has
helped me to become moredisciplined.
What I post, I live it out, solike when I am organizing.
Oh, certainly, oh so it makesyou do those things that you
want to do.
It's not because I'm pressuredinto doing those things.
It's like I want to be able tohelp inspire other people to
create structure and like tohave systems, because I didn't
(04:01):
have that with Harlem and I wasletting him stay up to 11
o'clock at night.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
Like he was just kicking it.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
So like there was no structure and our household was
all over the place chaotic.
But now that we have structure,everything just runs so
smoothly.
So that's why I think some ofus I'm not saying everybody, but
some of us post those things tolike other moms be like okay,
we can do this yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
I think that's helpful.
But I think, like what you weresaying, like the things that
you say to your kids, that's thehard one, because there's so
much and I'm like okay, so Ican't say this, and I say this
and I think my brain just goesinto overload and then it just
like combust and then I just goback to saying what?
I would normally say.
And then I'm like you know,it's back to what I usually say
Like you're going to screw themup somehow.
So I'm like saying my child issmart is like the wrong thing,
(04:46):
Like I'm just going to have todie on that one.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Yeah, and I'm saying like I think there's balance too
, because I feel like we allsaid like yes, no, maybe you
know I said maybe to a lot ofdifferent ones, but it's because
it's like social media is apart of our everyday life.
It is literally like an all day, everyday thing, no matter how
we try to spin it, no matter howmany times we try to act like
(05:09):
we don't mindlessly scroll, itis literally a part of
everybody's life, which is whythis is even an episode.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
We are on social media.
Yeah, we're on social media.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Like it's a big topic and I will say like we
sometimes I feel like we kind oftalk about the cons of it, but
what would you guys say as thepros?
Speaker 1 (05:27):
The pro?
Well, for me, because it is myfull time job.
I am a full time contentcreator.
It has literally changed mylife.
You know, I'm able to stay athome with my kids.
I'm able to create a lifestylethat I want.
You know I have the resources,the finances to create that, you
know lifestyle.
So it's really changed my life.
(05:48):
I've met some amazing peoplevia social media, but like also
just my community I met as well.
So those are the pros.
And then also getting to reachother people far like in
different countries.
That part is so cool.
Tell me about Jesus.
Like that.
It's so cool to me.
I'm like you're all the way inthe UK, you're all the way in
Africa and you're like yeah,that part is cool, I love that
(06:10):
part.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Yeah, what would you say?
B?
Speaker 3 (06:12):
No, I love the part that people get to share so many
different stories Like people,like things you've never heard
of you're going to learn aboutstrategies people talking about
motherhood, postpartum.
You know relatable things.
Where you're before, you werelike I'm the only one and you're
like, okay, well, there's atleast one other person out there
now that's done it.
So it's like just being able tohear so many stories, the fact
(06:35):
that news can trans liketransfer so fast.
Now you don't have to wait for,like a morning newspaper or for
someone to write an article, sowe can control narratives you
know a plus yeah.
But like information can beshared so fast and I just think
you can find community likeduring the pandemic, before
(06:57):
social media didn't exist, youknow how like lonely, oh gosh,
that would be like it's alreadya lonely situation, but you're
still able to communicate.
You're still able to like, havecommunity.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
So I just think communication, news, information
, transparency is just opened upthe world even bigger.
And then made it this small.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Yeah, do you guys ever feel like it could be
affect yourself esteem at allwhen it comes to social?
Because we talked aboutcomparing yourself and like you
see all of these things and wedon't always do them.
So then we feel like, dang, Idid I fail or did I'm like, or
(07:34):
like even comparing without themotherhood side, just as a woman
I know for me, I look at likepeople who've snapped back and
I'm like, dang.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
They're spanned all the way up to their neck.
Snap back, but some people do.
Some people really do, though Imean so that's like I'm like
man.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Should I be doing more or should I be doing?
Should I?
I don't know I'm.
I do start to get in my head alittle bit sometimes because I
do see, or if I'm seeing, I'mreally into like fitness and so
if I see people like at the gymevery single day and I miss
today, I'd be like oh, morgan,you really missed the mark today
, Like they changed out.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
It's also media halfway, but no, I understand.
But I think the good thing isfor everything.
You see like that.
You'll also see personaltrainers that aren't you know
thin or muscly.
Like you'll, see people workout all the time or people who
haven't snapped back.
So for every story that you seethat can make you feel bad, you
can also see one thatnormalizes that's true.
(08:34):
Your own story, and I thinkit's just where you decide to
water yourself on social media,do you?
Speaker 1 (08:39):
want to torture yourself, or do you?
Speaker 3 (08:40):
want to be empowered on social media.
So you have the power tocontrol your experience.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
That's such a good point because just a tip for
anybody who has the same issuesthat I have had I literally
unfollowed all the unrealisticexpectations, so like, even if
it was like too aspirationallike the people when they say,
do we even see real housesanymore?
Like that type of thing, like Istarted unfollowing like stuff
that was like too much, itseemed a little bit out of my
(09:07):
reach because I was just like,at this point it's just gonna
make me feel like I'm always,you know, inadequate.
So I started to even followlike people that don't have my
same body type and that arefitness people.
I'm like that's unachievable.
Find someone who is your bodytype and then you can be
inspired, get the workouts thatyou wanna get.
Like.
I started doing that becausethat is what helped me.
(09:28):
The like cause, like you said,it's still a good.
Yep, the algorithm still showsyou more, and I think that
that's what we have to startdoing is, instead of like trying
to downplay social media,because we all use it, like,
find the way it works for you.
You know what I mean, for sure,I use it for inspiration.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
So, like you, I don't really follow I don't follow a
lot of celebrities cause I don'trelate to their lifestyle, but
also, like I really just followpeople that inspire me to be a
better person.
So, yeah, I just I keep itpretty simple, yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
I do too.
I follow my friends in likeregular things.
Like you know, they set it upso you see the Explorer page
more and more and more, so youend up seeing other stuff.
But for the most part I justtry to look at regular stuff.
But then when I get to scrolland I see all text stuff,
everything.
Yeah, you follow down on rabbithole.
I do A lot of people poppingvideos.
That's my favorite.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Oh God, that is a serious favorite.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
There's a space for it.
There is a space for it.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
What is your like?
Weird obsession, she's thepimple popper video.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
What's yours?
What catches your?
Speaker 1 (10:31):
eye when you I love ducks.
Oh what, that's weirder thanthe pimples.
No, there's this page onInstagram that is like baby
ducks or like ducks, like chicks, and they like put them in like
the bathtub or like they havethem, just I don't know.
They're just really cute andfriendly.
They make me smile.
I love it.
Yes.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
I have a couple, but I like when people restock but,
the ones with the sound on.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
Oh, like ASMR.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Yeah, but it's like when they restock and organize,
Just click everything.
Yeah, I like those.
And then the cleaning the rugs.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
There's a oh no, that's the rug cleaning ones.
I don't go down the rabbit hole, but I see them.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
I get it so good.
I love cleaning.
Anything like cleaning is Ilike cleaning ones.
It's like man, I'm like.
I feel like I did.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
I did my house You're like like rug is clean now.
Mom is done.
Just don't look down.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Now, when it comes to social media, this is the big
question, because we're allmothers here.
What age is too young to have asocial media account, and when
do you think you're going tolike let your kid you know, go
for it.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Oh, that's a hard one , I think.
For me it's just I don't know.
It's really hard Because mykids are going to be in sports
one day.
Oh, certainly I may give them aphone in junior high just so
that they can communicate withus.
But I didn't have social mediauntil I was in college.
So it was oh yeah, I know, andthen I got into it.
It's weird.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
But yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
I got it whenever I was 21.
I got my first Instagramaccount, yeah, wow.
So I See, but I'm not ascultured as some of y'all Like.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
I just feel like I'm out of the woods.
Nobody's everybody's like haveyou ever heard you be like no,
never heard of it.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Okay, I didn't know that we find out the thing she's
like.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
The 90% of the world was not accessible today, really
Like I live in my world.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Yeah, okay, this makes sense, but Anthony had a
phone when he was like nine,cause he's like sports.
So I think for us we just gottahave to figure out a balance of
like.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Let's see there's a difference between having a
phone and having social media,because my daughter she's 10.
And she's actually had herphone since she was maybe like
seven.
And it's only because weco-parent, so it's easier.
But she does not have anysocial media accounts and she
has, like all the parentalblocks in her phone and all that
stuff.
So she does have an Instagram,but I run it yeah she does, it's
(12:54):
so sweet.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
Yeah, I follow what.
I think.
I'm not gonna say it all on theshow, but I don't know.
I go back and forth and thenyou gotta think about what are
you considering?
Social media like they're onYouTube, kids.
That's social media they playlike my daughter.
She's five.
I don't know if that's tooyoung.
They play Roblox and I've heardyou can talk to people through
there so it's like you have topay attention to that.
(13:16):
And then I go back and forthbetween, okay, if I wait too
long, kids are kids, they find away.
Or can I go through thisprocess with them, like, hey,
let's start it together?
Speaker 2 (13:29):
That's what I did with the TikTok.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
Let's post a picture here.
Let's do this together and it'slike a together thing and then
they grow up in it.
But I don't think it's gonna belike in when you're 14, okay,
you can do it, Because I feellike now you're starting it with
your peers.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
So with Layla, she wanted to TikTok really bad and
instead of giving her the TikTok, I basically was like nah, we
can do it together, cause withTikTok you just can't control
what shows up, and I didn't likethat and so I turned it into
something that we could do as amother-daughter thing that she
could look forward to, and itwas really cool and she really
(14:04):
does look forward to it, like wedo TikTok Tuesdays.
So when she comes, home fromschool she's like mom, it's
TikTok Tuesday.
And now that she's gettingolder, I'm not gonna lie.
When she does find differentdances and things like that, she
will say like okay, well, thatwas fun.
Can I do this one by myself?
She don't want to do that.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
Yeah, sometimes she'll scoot me out, and that's
fine, Cause I've alreadypre-screened the dance.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
We're not scrolling, we're doing.
You know, we're using the rightaudio and all those things, and
so there's no problem with it.
And I that's my like compromiseif you will.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
That's so cute.
That's a good idea too, andthat's what I'm saying.
I think it's a place to becreative on.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
like you know, learn to edit learn to do all of these
things.
She sees me do it, yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
And they see us do it , but you can't, you know, but
you can't do it.
So I think it's just how youintroduce it Like most things
like I said my kids would neveruse iPads.
I ended up letting them use itearly.
But, now they're not obsessedwith iPads.
They can literally have them inthe corner and like never touch
them all day because it's notsomething like oh, this
mysterious thing I can't touch.
So I just think it depends onyour lifestyle, no matter how
(15:06):
you bring it in.
I think it's really together.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
That's a good point.
What about you?
Your kids are a little wellBully.
What would you like?
Do you feel like you're?
Speaker 1 (15:15):
I feel like I would let them have.
I mean, they're on social mediaregardless because I post them,
but like for them to beintroduced to it, I think I
don't know.
I feel like I would just haveto monitor everything, Kind of
like what you guys are saying,Like I would have to make sure
that I'm okay with what they'reabout to post, Cause I think a
good example are the Kardashiansbecause they're like they.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
I don't know it's.
Hold on, hear me out.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
So they have TikToks with their kids and they monitor
everything that they turn thecomments off they do.
There's not.
There's access to them, but notaccess to them.
I think that's really smart andI think social media has set
that up Like they havemonitoring.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
I feel like Instagram added something where you know
they did for the youth, so it'sjust you know it can be really
helpful.
But then it's like I just feellike we're talking about
Instagram and TikTok and in fiveyears there's gonna be
something else.
And then kids also.
Now they post like 10 pictures.
Then all of a sudden they gotone picture.
Oh my gosh, that is the newinner brain, youth don't keep
(16:15):
the pictures up.
That's true?
Yeah, they don't.
They just really are looking atstories.
And like they'll post like oncein a while, like they're really
like the king and queens ofscrolls.
I don't even think they likeanything.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Yeah, that's true.
I would say too, though, out onthe other hand, of like just
making sure what they areexposed to is what am I exposing
, like my child to?
On the other end, as far as thepeople are so mean People are
so People are so Trust me andthey find anything to pick apart
, and so I'm like.
(16:45):
What I don't want is to, whichis why I run, you know, my
daughter's account Like shedoesn't look at comments, she
doesn't even know what it lookslike.
If anything.
I'm like ooh Leigh, like yourvideo just hit a million views.
Like I'll say that to her.
But other than that, that's itbecause people are like well,
why is your hair like that?
Or why did you?
(17:06):
There was one video that's likeoh, you're too grown.
I can't believe your mom letsyou do like.
I'm like bye.
Speaker 3 (17:13):
See, that's the thing I'm worried about, and I think
about it more for my daughter,because I am a woman, not to say
boys don't have issues, but Iworry about the opinions of
others, like when we wereyounger, or at least when I was
a young girl.
No batch y'all you know.
I only had to compare myself tothe people in my neighborhood
and the people in my school,social media wasn't like a thing
until, like, I got to college.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Really.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
Like I think black planet started maybe in my
senior year of high school orsomething like that.
So I didn't have to like,compare myself, like, okay, you
see a model, but like a modelwas so untouchable that it was
like next level.
I would say that's true for ustoo.
But now you're on social mediaand it's like no filter.
Yes, you got a filter on, yes,you have this on or you know,
(17:56):
but everybody's no filter, nomakeup.
Or even if they do, you thinkthat's what you're supposed to
look like.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
You think that's normal now.
Speaker 3 (18:02):
And it just like scares me and it makes me sad
that like, growing up like thecomparison like bowl is now huge
and if it's hard for us asadults not just looks but also
like what people are doing andaccomplishing, succeeding at.
Can you imagine being 13, 12,15 and having to compare
yourself to the world?
Speaker 2 (18:23):
All of that, what do you do, though?
That's the thing like we'retalking about it, but it's one
of those things is like what do?
Speaker 3 (18:31):
you do.
I think it just started.
I mean, it always starts athome.
It's just conversations, it'ssetting them up for it's not
real, or it's aboutaccomplishments.
I think it's just continuing totalk to them.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
It's just there's nothing else you can do.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
You build a strong foundation, like that's what I
always say with my kids I'mbuilding a strong foundation so
they're homeschooled right now,so that if they go to school one
you know a formal school oneday.
Or if they go to somewhere likethey're strong enough to deal
with it, or they're, or theyknow I'm there to talk to them
about it.
And I'm gonna talk to them likereal about it.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
That's the only.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
Thing what can you do ?
Speaker 2 (19:03):
You can't you're not a superhero, you can't be the
world.
Yeah, I would say that.
What about you?
Speaker 1 (19:09):
The same thing.
I would just over communicateand let them know like.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
Cause it starts at home.
Yeah, it's just at home, Justbottom line.
It starts at home and if youdon't communicate at home, it's
more of a reason for them to golooking for it somewhere else,
cause I sure look for a lot ofthings when.
Speaker 3 (19:24):
I was young Because you know, it was so like between
a boy or yeah, because that'swhere it starts, though you
start with.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
I know for me, when I was younger AOL and like chats.
Speaker 3 (19:37):
I was probably talking to 90 year old man back
then.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
I'm telling you that's, I didn't even know, but
I literally I would be bored andI'm just like, oh, you know,
like I'm just chatting with youCause there were so many
different chat rooms, I thoughtit was really cool but, like to
be honest, like some of thatstuff was Pretty dangerous
because you didn't know who youwere talking to and people are
so dead going crazy and you knowit was dangerous, but it was so
(20:01):
like still kind of like newthat you're just like who would
do that?
Speaker 3 (20:03):
I mean yeah, so why wouldn't some?
Why wouldn't this person bethem?
Speaker 1 (20:07):
But yeah, I think people were just looking for
community, and I think that'swhat we were.
Well, back then, the chat roomswere the way to communicate,
but now it's like DMs you canhit people up in DMs now Like
yeah.
And I think that's the scariestpart with children.
It's like these yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
And the vanishing DMs .
Now everything can disappear,yes, so that's weird.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Which is weird?
They set you up.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
Yeah, that location.
You can get locations of wherepeople are.
Snapchat is scary, so I'm justsaying if it's worrisome for us.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
it just makes me think about my kids and that's
why I don't want them to be likeintroduced at an older age.
I'm like, yeah, because likeyour brain definitely does, so
what age do?
You think you're going to do it.
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
I think whenever they're interested or whenever
they ask about it.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
Yeah, Because I don't want to be like I've learned a
lot, Like I'll say no sometimesI'm like why am I saying no Yep?
Because it just seems like theright.
So I think just saying yes andintroducing it to them earlier
and I don't know, and just bescared on the inside, I'm going
to be scared.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
If you could change one thing about social media,
what would it be?
Speaker 1 (21:14):
You can change one thing.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
Less stuff that could disappear.
I think it just makes it soeasy to hide stuff now.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
And I wish there was less ways to hide stuff.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
Or.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
I don't know, I'm not very creative in that way.
That's the only thing I canthink of.
I just want them to be able tohide stuff.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
Yeah, that's true, that's my big thing.
What about in a positive way,like we talked a little bit in
the beginning about the pros ofsocial media, and like the
community that you build, andlike how we get our information.
And like in the perfect world,like how, what would you like?
Speaker 3 (21:50):
for them to add how would social media better Like?
I'm always like this, is ityeah?
Speaker 2 (21:53):
this is so great.
They come out with an updateevery week.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
But I feel like they've done a great job at
trying to help people's mentalhealth.
I mean, like you are theconsumer, so you, it's your
choice whether you're consumingor not consuming, yeah, but
they've done a great job athiding likes.
They've done a great job atturning off your comments, if
you need to turn off yourcomments.
So I feel like they're tryingto go in the right direction
where they're limiting people'svalidation and exposure of like
(22:19):
filling less than because theydon't have this many likes or
this many comments.
So I think they're heading inthe right direction.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
I think they do all that for marketing.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
I don't think so.
I mean, they can't, but I feellike they don't think they care
about it.
I don't, I feel like they don't.
Speaker 3 (22:31):
Companies don't care about likes, they care about
engagement.
Bad comments affect marketingLike.
I'm very cynical about thatstuff.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
But you know what?
I've never looked at it fromthat perspective.
Yeah, but now that I thinkabout it, yeah, I mean I'm very
cynical.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
I watch that like Netflix special and I saw that
basically all of social media isset so we can just sell stuff
to each other.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Like whether you're a formal influencer or not.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
And I don't think it's like a bad thing, but I
think it's like I don't like thethat again it goes to despair.
I don't like the sneakinessabout it.
Like I don't like when they'redoing it that way.
I like the idea of likeinfluencers Like this is what
I'm doing and this is what I'msharing, but, like for me, a
normal person just being me,like I don't want to, I don't
want to feel pressured.
Like that.
(23:15):
I'm being used that way.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
But am I going to get ?
Speaker 3 (23:17):
off social media.
No, no, they're going to keepusing me.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Well, we talked about even getting off social media.
That was one of the questions.
How often do you guys take yourbreaks?
Speaker 3 (23:27):
I did it Probably like I used to do it, like
they'd have like a churchblackout, but then you find some
excuse, like I got to check itbecause it didn't feel like it
was coming from, like my, like Iwant to do it.
So the last time I did it was,I think, the top of 2021, but
that's because I was at the timeof stay at home mom and I was
actually happy with it.
(23:48):
But, every time I was scrollingon social media I was like this
is not okay, I need to be doingsomething.
This person has a business andthis person's doing this, and
even people I knew that reallyweren't doing something or
really weren't successful atwhat they were doing, I was like
it's still a good on social.
So it still made me feel wayI'd be like.
That's not real, but I'm like,but it looked pretty good, but
it looks real.
And so I just felt so muchpressure and I didn't want to
(24:09):
like just do something, to dosomething.
I was like I need to get off toget my brain right.
So I got off for like a monthand then when I got back on, it
felt so good because I didn'thave those like automatic
triggers to like scroll and tocheck my phone.
I would pick it up less andless and less and then all of a
sudden like then you just backto normal.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
Yeah, yeah, what about you?
So I think, because it is myfull-time job, it kind of makes
it a little bit harder.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Very.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
I don't feel.
I don't feel the pressure thatI have to post every day Like I
create, when I feel creative.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
Yeah, yes.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
I mean, I haven't posted in a week and I'm okay
with like not being able to like.
I don't feel like I'm missingout, yeah, or like I'm not part
of a trend, yeah, now, it hasn'talways been like that.
I've struggled in the past,like years ago like not even
years ago, I would say last year, before that Like you'll
disappear, but like, yeah, likepeople are going to forget about
you, or you're not?
like doing enough, like I feellike I'm in a different season
(25:03):
of my life where I'm like youknow, I'm okay with being on
God's timing and not the rest ofthe world's timing.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
So yeah, Social media literally tells you you don't
post every day you're going tobe on the output.
So it gives you that pressure.
Yeah, and I'm glad you werelike, hey, my content's good.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
My content is good.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
Come forward and don't yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
I take I used to take breaks way more, thank you.
I would do every every Januarythe whole month.
I would the whole month everyJanuary.
I would do it especially when Iwas in the corporate world
because I had more of a choice.
Now I'm pretty much all socialmedia.
It's literally like my job.
So even though I don't post onmy page as much because I'm
(25:46):
posting on all these otheraccounts that I run, I end up,
of course, I get my inspirationfrom different things and so I
end up scrolling all the time.
I feel like I'm always onsocial, even if it's not for
myself.
So I don't feel like I ever getto take a break.
So that part honestly doesstink, because I wish I would
have times where I can just notbe on social at all because it
(26:09):
does, it stunts my creativity,especially like in the in the
like Stunt it.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
But I think also, like you said, there's some
things that can inspire thoughts.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Oh, certainly yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
Like things that thought like weren't even
possible, like you see somepeople's transitions or the
things that they post, or likeseeing people like put their
passion out there.
I think that's always like.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Oh all the time, which is what I love about it,
but then I'm like I'm doing itevery day, all day, nonstop.
So I have one of the things Ihave done is like just trying to
create a better rhythm formyself of like, okay, Morgan,
like from this time to this time, maybe this is your time to
just like not do anything at all, or pre-plan it so that you can
(26:50):
like do something else in themeantime Weekends.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
I've done a lot better, but it's still like the
time restriction on it before,and I would just be like I did
that one.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Yeah, I did that, I did that, I did that.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
I was like I'm the, and that did not work it didn't
work, but it made me consciousof how long I was on there,
because I was like, if it poppedup, I was like, oh, I must have
been on here a lot, but I woulddefinitely just.
But it was nice yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
Nice thought.
Do you guys have boundarieswhen it comes to social media,
like you kind of like brought itup a little bit, but like yeah,
is there.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
I would say my boundaries.
Do you mean to what?
Speaker 1 (27:26):
I post no more, so just like like spending all your
time on there, or like.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Yeah.
Not, so you don't feeloverwhelmed or feel behind, or
you know you're getting lostWhenever I catch myself,
literally, literally times whenI catch myself mindlessly
scrolling or I'll like beworking on something, and then
I'll go to social to be like, oh, I saw this and this inspired
me, what was it?
And then all of a sudden I'mscrolling and doing something
(27:51):
totally different.
So then what I'll do is, when Icatch myself, I'm like all
right, I'm going to put my phonedown all together and go do
something else, and then I'llcome back to it, just so that I
can kind of get myself out ofthat.
Speaker 3 (28:03):
Yeah, you know, yeah, I'm not really on it all day,
but I'm like on it sosporadically you can like equal
up to so much time.
So my boundary that I want thatI always end up not doing but
I'm like when I'm with my kidsat lunch, when I'm with my kids
like after dinner to theirbedtime like two hours.
I'm like not going on socialmedia, like even if I'm just
(28:23):
laying there, I just want to belike more present, yes, and then
the next thing I know I'm like,oh, I need to, I thought of
this, or you're on somethingelse, and then your thumb
somehow falls like, oh, how am?
Speaker 2 (28:33):
I Yep.
I was like, how did I get here?
Speaker 3 (28:36):
Right exactly, I was literally in my calendar and now
I'm scrolling, I'm scrolling,but I will say the one thing
that I don't I rarely, rarely,rarely get on is TikTok, because
that thing I love it.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
It is no, it's amazing, it's great, it's so
amazing I can't stop.
Speaker 3 (28:52):
It's hard, it's like, because the algorithm is so
smart and so fast.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
I go there for a laugh, oh my God, whenever I
need to pick me up.
It's incredible.
Speaker 3 (29:02):
But I have, like I guess like a binge personality
in some ways.
I literally can't stop.
It's hard and like yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
Do you guys feel addicted to social media Like,
have you?
Speaker 2 (29:13):
No, because if I could, I would not be a bear.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
You're going to say what an addict.
You're going to say an addict.
I could stop anytime.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
Yeah, like I would literally if I could stop.
When it comes to like, oh, Ican say I'm not going to be up
here for a week, oh yeah, Iwouldn't.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
Yeah, I wouldn't.
I don't think I'm addicted likea fiend, but I think it's
become like I'm like you know,but it's a habit.
It's a habit.
It's literally like it takes alot to break it.
Like sometimes, when I'm justhere, I'm like, oh, I just want
to like look, and it's not like,oh, I need to be on social
media.
It's just my hands, my body,automatically does it.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
That's the key, Because I've been there before.
When I do have the break, I'mlike I actually don't.
I have no reason to be up hereright now.
So, yes, it's like more of ahabit that needs to be break.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
Yeah, I have nothing to check right now, so yes, no,
I really felt like I wasaddicted to it.
Yeah, presently or like either,or I mean a little bit of both.
We're like I'm working becauseI'm in school right now, so I'm
doing homework.
So to help me, I set my timerfor 30 minutes so I can focus on
my homework, and then for like10 minutes I take a break.
(30:19):
And that 10 minutes I'm likescrolling.
So I'm scrolling, I'm likelooking on social just to take a
break.
But it's like.
It's so like you get on it likeautomatically you wake up, you
get on it, you go to thebathroom you go.
It's made from that, though.
Speaker 3 (30:31):
It's, literally, it is, it's doing what it's
supposed to do, yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
I'm like this is really addicting.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
Even though.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
I don't want it Like, I don't want to be on my phone,
but it's like the first thing Igrab, the first thing, you know
, when you go to the bathroom orlike whatever.
I just feel like it's alwaysthere, so accessible to
everything, to everybody, youknow.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
And I would say the best part about it.
I know we talked about thisbefore, but I just thought about
it because I just had my 20year high school reunion, yes,
god, and I missed it, but youknow the fun Sorry guys.
I mean, I didn't even buy thetickets the day before I knew I
was going, but I feel like I canand this can be a downside, but
I feel like I can keep up withso many people.
(31:11):
Like I feel I can talk to peopleI haven't seen in years or
moved away, like I love beingable to like stay in contact
with my friends or, even ifwe're not, like talking on there
, like I can see what people areup to.
So I didn't go to my first highschool reunion because I was
like, oh, we got, I know whaty'all doing.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Why not like now show up, or what have you?
Speaker 3 (31:29):
So I think it's like.
I like how it kind of makes theworld smaller in that sense.
Yes, I agree.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
And you find out like who knows who.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
One D'Corey Association family which is so
crazy.
Like you'll see somebody's likehow this person liked this
picture, but how does thisperson know this person?
So that part is really cool,and I think even because I mean,
let's be honest, this is whatwe do, but that is the part I
love about it is the fact that,like you said earlier B we are
(31:59):
able to give so much information, and it has become a resource
to so many people, and even whenwe started this which we thank
you guys so much for is peoplewere like oh my gosh, this is
not just me Like it gives peoplean opportunity to be real.
It gives people an opportunityto say me too, you know, and
that is like chess, kiss.
(32:22):
What would you say, though, toa mom who maybe wants to start
putting more content out?
I see that a lot.
They're like oh, I wish I couldlike do more content.
I want to like do more stuff.
What would you say?
Speaker 1 (32:37):
I would sell people who want to start doing social
media.
It's by tripod.
It does not have to beexpensive Literally $10, $15 on
Amazon and set it up.
That's really how I started.
I was like I'm going to setthis tripod up and I'm just
going to document my life andit's kind of what I did and what
I do now and I just post it.
So that's what I would tell mymom Just go and just do it.
(32:58):
Don't let the fear keep youfrom going after something you
desire, like.
If God put it on your heart totalk about motherhood or to do
something that you're passionateabout via social media, then
just do it?
Speaker 2 (33:10):
Go for it, go for it.
Yeah, do you have anything toadd, or are you?
Speaker 3 (33:13):
like that's it.
I would say.
I keep saying I'm going to puta little camera in my car
because that's where the goldhappens.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
It does In the car.
I'm telling you, that's my idea, take it.
Speaker 3 (33:27):
Take it Well, let us know what you guys think about
social media.
Is it used for good?
Is it used for evil?
What are your pros and cons?
Let us know.
But in the meantime, thank youfor watching moms actually wear.
Motherhood meets sisterhood.
Welcome back to mom's , actually where motherhood
meets sisterhood.
So I am Stupa Rush, I'm Blairand I am Morgan.
And today we are discussingsocial media.
So before we jump into ourtopic, we're gonna play a game.
You guys already know we arediving into it's giving
(00:22):
motherhood.
So the gold side is yes yes.
And the white side means no,and then, if you're in between,
a little bit of a maybe.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Yeah, right, yeah, first answer, the right answer,
always, always.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
So I'm gonna go ahead and start.
Do you think social media ishelpful?
Yes, yes, yes, yes, 100%.
Do you think social media isharmful?
It can be.
It can, yes, yes.
Do you find yourself comparingyourself to others on social
media?
Speaker 2 (00:56):
certainly yes.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
For sure, just gonna keep it right, yeah.
Do you feel like social mediainfluences your daily habits and
purchases?
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Sometimes it depends yeah what like movement the
season Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Okay.
Have you made close friendsfrom social media?
Yes.
Do you get your news primarilyfrom social media?
Speaker 3 (01:19):
Yes, yeah, I even use Facebook.
Yeah, do you really?
Facebook has a news.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
I didn't know that was a thing you know I'm the
oldest you.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
I am a Facebook user.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
I use TikTok now to get my news.
Oh yeah, use the hashtag.
Oh Okay, jesus yes, do you findyourself mindlessly scrolling
on social media?
Be more than you would like.
Speaker 3 (01:41):
Yes, 100,000%.
Yes.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Do you take social media breaks for your mental
state?
Speaker 2 (01:46):
Yes, yes, not as often as I should.
Yeah, that's a good one.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Do you feel like you have to post often and keep up
with trends Sometimes?
Speaker 3 (01:54):
yeah, I feel like I don't yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Yeah, so I'm gonna hear last one.
Do you feel a pressure and howyou parent because of social
media?
Speaker 3 (02:03):
No kind of kind of have my, it's the same as the
last one, like, yeah, like I seeit and I want you, but then I
still do this, yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Yeah, that's a good point.
Mm-hmm Well, can you elaborateon that though?
Like why?
Why is it that you feel likeOkay?
Speaker 3 (02:23):
like it makes me feel like I should be cooking, like
when I cook, oh, I should havemy kids so that they can learn
how to do it.
I should, you know, be in theplayroom playing different games
and engaging them.
Yeah you know, like Creatingdifferent ways for them to learn
, and just being like, yeah, andI'm like, oh, that's so cool
and I'll save it, and I'll saveit and I'll screenshot it, and
(02:43):
then, mm-hmm, yeah, it don'thappen.
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Yeah, I do, I save a lot of stuff.
I'm like that too.
I know I answered no, but I amlike that too.
I'm like, oh, that's a greatidea.
Yeah, but I don't feel like.
I think a lot of the thingsthat I see when it comes to
social media is like how youshould parent, or like what you
should say versus what youshould not say.
I see that a lot.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
I try that too.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
And then, yeah, for me it's just because I'm like
everybody's kid is so differentso I don't feel like I should
take their advice.
And then the things that I dosee, when it comes to like
people organizing really niceand all the stuff, then I think
like, do they do this every day,or is it just like what they do
once or twice a week?
Speaker 3 (03:23):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (03:24):
I'm gonna show them the clean part and then they'll
be like but I'm like yeah, solike because I know that, and
maybe it's also because we alldo social media to a certain
extent on a very full time basis.
So it's kind of like I knowwhat it is, you know what I mean
.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
So I'm kind of like but I will say that it has
helped me to become moredisciplined.
What I post, I live it out, solike when I am organizing.
Oh, certainly, oh so it makesyou do those things that you
want to do.
It's not because I'm pressuredinto doing those things.
It's like I want to be able tohelp inspire other people to
create structure and like tohave systems, because I didn't
(04:01):
have that with Harlem and I wasletting him stay up to 11
o'clock at night.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
Like he was just kicking it.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
So like there was no structure and our household was
all over the place chaotic.
But now that we have structure,everything just runs so
smoothly.
So that's why I think some ofus I'm not saying everybody, but
some of us post those things tolike other moms be like okay,
we can do this yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
I think that's helpful.
But I think, like what you weresaying, like the things that
you say to your kids, that's thehard one, because there's so
much and I'm like okay, so Ican't say this, and I say this
and I think my brain just goesinto overload and then it just
like combust and then I just goback to saying what?
I would normally say.
And then I'm like you know,it's back to what I usually say
Like you're going to screw themup somehow.
So I'm like saying my child issmart is like the wrong thing,
(04:46):
Like I'm just going to have todie on that one.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Yeah, and I'm saying like I think there's balance too
, because I feel like we allsaid like yes, no, maybe you
know I said maybe to a lot ofdifferent ones, but it's because
it's like social media is apart of our everyday life.
It is literally like an all day, everyday thing, no matter how
we try to spin it, no matter howmany times we try to act like
(05:09):
we don't mindlessly scroll, itis literally a part of
everybody's life, which is whythis is even an episode.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
We are on social media.
Yeah, we're on social media.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Like it's a big topic and I will say like we
sometimes I feel like we kind oftalk about the cons of it, but
what would you guys say as thepros?
Speaker 1 (05:27):
The pro?
Well, for me, because it is myfull time job.
I am a full time contentcreator.
It has literally changed mylife.
You know, I'm able to stay athome with my kids.
I'm able to create a lifestylethat I want.
You know I have the resources,the finances to create that, you
know lifestyle.
So it's really changed my life.
(05:48):
I've met some amazing peoplevia social media, but like also
just my community I met as well.
So those are the pros.
And then also getting to reachother people far like in
different countries.
That part is so cool.
Tell me about Jesus.
Like that.
It's so cool to me.
I'm like you're all the way inthe UK, you're all the way in
Africa and you're like yeah,that part is cool, I love that
(06:10):
part.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Yeah, what would you say?
B?
Speaker 3 (06:12):
No, I love the part that people get to share so many
different stories Like people,like things you've never heard
of you're going to learn aboutstrategies people talking about
motherhood, postpartum.
You know relatable things.
Where you're before, you werelike I'm the only one and you're
like, okay, well, there's atleast one other person out there
now that's done it.
So it's like just being able tohear so many stories, the fact
(06:35):
that news can trans liketransfer so fast.
Now you don't have to wait for,like a morning newspaper or for
someone to write an article, sowe can control narratives you
know a plus yeah.
But like information can beshared so fast and I just think
you can find community likeduring the pandemic, before
(06:57):
social media didn't exist, youknow how like lonely, oh gosh,
that would be like it's alreadya lonely situation, but you're
still able to communicate.
You're still able to like, havecommunity.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
So I just think communication, news, information
, transparency is just opened upthe world even bigger.
And then made it this small.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Yeah, do you guys ever feel like it could be
affect yourself esteem at allwhen it comes to social?
Because we talked aboutcomparing yourself and like you
see all of these things and wedon't always do them.
So then we feel like, dang, Idid I fail or did I'm like, or
(07:34):
like even comparing without themotherhood side, just as a woman
I know for me, I look at likepeople who've snapped back and
I'm like, dang.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
They're spanned all the way up to their neck.
Snap back, but some people do.
Some people really do, though Imean so that's like I'm like
man.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Should I be doing more or should I be doing?
Should I?
I don't know I'm.
I do start to get in my head alittle bit sometimes because I
do see, or if I'm seeing, I'mreally into like fitness and so
if I see people like at the gymevery single day and I miss
today, I'd be like oh, morgan,you really missed the mark today
, Like they changed out.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
It's also media halfway, but no, I understand.
But I think the good thing isfor everything.
You see like that.
You'll also see personaltrainers that aren't you know
thin or muscly.
Like you'll, see people workout all the time or people who
haven't snapped back.
So for every story that you seethat can make you feel bad, you
can also see one thatnormalizes that's true.
(08:34):
Your own story, and I thinkit's just where you decide to
water yourself on social media,do you?
Speaker 1 (08:39):
want to torture yourself, or do you?
Speaker 3 (08:40):
want to be empowered on social media.
So you have the power tocontrol your experience.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
That's such a good point because just a tip for
anybody who has the same issuesthat I have had I literally
unfollowed all the unrealisticexpectations, so like, even if
it was like too aspirationallike the people when they say,
do we even see real housesanymore?
Like that type of thing, like Istarted unfollowing like stuff
that was like too much, itseemed a little bit out of my
(09:07):
reach because I was just like,at this point it's just gonna
make me feel like I'm always,you know, inadequate.
So I started to even followlike people that don't have my
same body type and that arefitness people.
I'm like that's unachievable.
Find someone who is your bodytype and then you can be
inspired, get the workouts thatyou wanna get.
Like.
I started doing that becausethat is what helped me.
(09:28):
The like cause, like you said,it's still a good.
Yep, the algorithm still showsyou more, and I think that
that's what we have to startdoing is, instead of like trying
to downplay social media,because we all use it, like,
find the way it works for you.
You know what I mean, for sure,I use it for inspiration.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
So, like you, I don't really follow I don't follow a
lot of celebrities cause I don'trelate to their lifestyle, but
also, like I really just followpeople that inspire me to be a
better person.
So, yeah, I just I keep itpretty simple, yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
I do too.
I follow my friends in likeregular things.
Like you know, they set it upso you see the Explorer page
more and more and more, so youend up seeing other stuff.
But for the most part I justtry to look at regular stuff.
But then when I get to scrolland I see all text stuff,
everything.
Yeah, you follow down on rabbithole.
I do A lot of people poppingvideos.
That's my favorite.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Oh God, that is a serious favorite.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
There's a space for it.
There is a space for it.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
What is your like?
Weird obsession, she's thepimple popper video.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
What's yours?
What catches your?
Speaker 1 (10:31):
eye when you I love ducks.
Oh what, that's weirder thanthe pimples.
No, there's this page onInstagram that is like baby
ducks or like ducks, like chicks, and they like put them in like
the bathtub or like they havethem, just I don't know.
They're just really cute andfriendly.
They make me smile.
I love it.
Yes.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
I have a couple, but I like when people restock but,
the ones with the sound on.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
Oh, like ASMR.
Speaker 2 (10:59):
Yeah, but it's like when they restock and organize,
Just click everything.
Yeah, I like those.
And then the cleaning the rugs.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
There's a oh no, that's the rug cleaning ones.
I don't go down the rabbit hole, but I see them.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
I get it so good.
I love cleaning.
Anything like cleaning is Ilike cleaning ones.
It's like man, I'm like.
I feel like I did.
Speaker 3 (11:17):
I did my house You're like like rug is clean now.
Mom is done.
Just don't look down.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
Now, when it comes to social media, this is the big
question, because we're allmothers here.
What age is too young to have asocial media account, and when
do you think you're going tolike let your kid you know, go
for it.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Oh, that's a hard one , I think.
For me it's just I don't know.
It's really hard Because mykids are going to be in sports
one day.
Oh, certainly I may give them aphone in junior high just so
that they can communicate withus.
But I didn't have social mediauntil I was in college.
So it was oh yeah, I know, andthen I got into it.
It's weird.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
But yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
I got it whenever I was 21.
I got my first Instagramaccount, yeah, wow.
So I See, but I'm not ascultured as some of y'all Like.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
I just feel like I'm out of the woods.
Nobody's everybody's like haveyou ever heard you be like no,
never heard of it.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Okay, I didn't know that we find out the thing she's
like.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
The 90% of the world was not accessible today, really
Like I live in my world.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Yeah, okay, this makes sense, but Anthony had a
phone when he was like nine,cause he's like sports.
So I think for us we just gottahave to figure out a balance of
like.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Let's see there's a difference between having a
phone and having social media,because my daughter she's 10.
And she's actually had herphone since she was maybe like
seven.
And it's only because weco-parent, so it's easier.
But she does not have anysocial media accounts and she
has, like all the parentalblocks in her phone and all that
stuff.
So she does have an Instagram,but I run it yeah she does, it's
(12:54):
so sweet.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
Yeah, I follow what.
I think.
I'm not gonna say it all on theshow, but I don't know.
I go back and forth and thenyou gotta think about what are
you considering?
Social media like they're onYouTube, kids.
That's social media they playlike my daughter.
She's five.
I don't know if that's tooyoung.
They play Roblox and I've heardyou can talk to people through
there so it's like you have topay attention to that.
(13:16):
And then I go back and forthbetween, okay, if I wait too
long, kids are kids, they find away.
Or can I go through thisprocess with them, like, hey,
let's start it together?
Speaker 2 (13:29):
That's what I did with the TikTok.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
Let's post a picture here.
Let's do this together and it'slike a together thing and then
they grow up in it.
But I don't think it's gonna belike in when you're 14, okay,
you can do it, Because I feellike now you're starting it with
your peers.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
So with Layla, she wanted to TikTok really bad and
instead of giving her the TikTok, I basically was like nah, we
can do it together, cause withTikTok you just can't control
what shows up, and I didn't likethat and so I turned it into
something that we could do as amother-daughter thing that she
could look forward to, and itwas really cool and she really
(14:04):
does look forward to it, like wedo TikTok Tuesdays.
So when she comes, home fromschool she's like mom, it's
TikTok Tuesday.
And now that she's gettingolder, I'm not gonna lie.
When she does find differentdances and things like that, she
will say like okay, well, thatwas fun.
Can I do this one by myself?
She don't want to do that.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
Yeah, sometimes she'll scoot me out, and that's
fine, Cause I've alreadypre-screened the dance.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
We're not scrolling, we're doing.
You know, we're using the rightaudio and all those things, and
so there's no problem with it.
And I that's my like compromiseif you will.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
That's so cute.
That's a good idea too, andthat's what I'm saying.
I think it's a place to becreative on.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
like you know, learn to edit learn to do all of these
things.
She sees me do it, yeah.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
And they see us do it , but you can't, you know, but
you can't do it.
So I think it's just how youintroduce it Like most things
like I said my kids would neveruse iPads.
I ended up letting them use itearly.
But, now they're not obsessedwith iPads.
They can literally have them inthe corner and like never touch
them all day because it's notsomething like oh, this
mysterious thing I can't touch.
So I just think it depends onyour lifestyle, no matter how
(15:06):
you bring it in.
I think it's really together.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
That's a good point.
What about you?
Your kids are a little wellBully.
What would you like?
Do you feel like you're?
Speaker 1 (15:15):
I feel like I would let them have.
I mean, they're on social mediaregardless because I post them,
but like for them to beintroduced to it, I think I
don't know.
I feel like I would just haveto monitor everything, Kind of
like what you guys are saying,Like I would have to make sure
that I'm okay with what they'reabout to post, Cause I think a
good example are the Kardashiansbecause they're like they.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
I don't know it's.
Hold on, hear me out.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
So they have TikToks with their kids and they monitor
everything that they turn thecomments off they do.
There's not.
There's access to them, but notaccess to them.
I think that's really smart andI think social media has set
that up Like they havemonitoring.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
I feel like Instagram added something where you know
they did for the youth, so it'sjust you know it can be really
helpful.
But then it's like I just feellike we're talking about
Instagram and TikTok and in fiveyears there's gonna be
something else.
And then kids also.
Now they post like 10 pictures.
Then all of a sudden they gotone picture.
Oh my gosh, that is the newinner brain, youth don't keep
(16:15):
the pictures up.
That's true?
Yeah, they don't.
They just really are looking atstories.
And like they'll post like oncein a while, like they're really
like the king and queens ofscrolls.
I don't even think they likeanything.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Yeah, that's true.
I would say too, though, out onthe other hand, of like just
making sure what they areexposed to is what am I exposing
, like my child to?
On the other end, as far as thepeople are so mean People are
so People are so Trust me andthey find anything to pick apart
, and so I'm like.
(16:45):
What I don't want is to, whichis why I run, you know, my
daughter's account Like shedoesn't look at comments, she
doesn't even know what it lookslike.
If anything.
I'm like ooh Leigh, like yourvideo just hit a million views.
Like I'll say that to her.
But other than that, that's itbecause people are like well,
why is your hair like that?
Or why did you?
(17:06):
There was one video that's likeoh, you're too grown.
I can't believe your mom letsyou do like.
I'm like bye.
Speaker 3 (17:13):
See, that's the thing I'm worried about, and I think
about it more for my daughter,because I am a woman, not to say
boys don't have issues, but Iworry about the opinions of
others, like when we wereyounger, or at least when I was
a young girl.
No batch y'all you know.
I only had to compare myself tothe people in my neighborhood
and the people in my school,social media wasn't like a thing
until, like, I got to college.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Really.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
Like I think black planet started maybe in my
senior year of high school orsomething like that.
So I didn't have to like,compare myself, like, okay, you
see a model, but like a modelwas so untouchable that it was
like next level.
I would say that's true for ustoo.
But now you're on social mediaand it's like no filter.
Yes, you got a filter on, yes,you have this on or you know,
(17:56):
but everybody's no filter, nomakeup.
Or even if they do, you thinkthat's what you're supposed to
look like.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
You think that's normal now.
Speaker 3 (18:02):
And it just like scares me and it makes me sad
that like, growing up like thecomparison like bowl is now huge
and if it's hard for us asadults not just looks but also
like what people are doing andaccomplishing, succeeding at.
Can you imagine being 13, 12,15 and having to compare
yourself to the world?
Speaker 2 (18:23):
All of that, what do you do, though?
That's the thing like we'retalking about it, but it's one
of those things is like what do?
Speaker 3 (18:31):
you do.
I think it just started.
I mean, it always starts athome.
It's just conversations, it'ssetting them up for it's not
real, or it's aboutaccomplishments.
I think it's just continuing totalk to them.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
It's just there's nothing else you can do.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
You build a strong foundation, like that's what I
always say with my kids I'mbuilding a strong foundation so
they're homeschooled right now,so that if they go to school one
you know a formal school oneday.
Or if they go to somewhere likethey're strong enough to deal
with it, or they're, or theyknow I'm there to talk to them
about it.
And I'm gonna talk to them likereal about it.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
That's the only.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
Thing what can you do ?
Speaker 2 (19:03):
You can't you're not a superhero, you can't be the
world.
Yeah, I would say that.
What about you?
Speaker 1 (19:09):
The same thing.
I would just over communicateand let them know like.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
Cause it starts at home.
Yeah, it's just at home, Justbottom line.
It starts at home and if youdon't communicate at home, it's
more of a reason for them to golooking for it somewhere else,
cause I sure look for a lot ofthings when.
Speaker 3 (19:24):
I was young Because you know, it was so like between
a boy or yeah, because that'swhere it starts, though you
start with.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
I know for me, when I was younger AOL and like chats.
Speaker 3 (19:37):
I was probably talking to 90 year old man back
then.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
I'm telling you that's, I didn't even know, but
I literally I would be bored andI'm just like, oh, you know,
like I'm just chatting with youCause there were so many
different chat rooms, I thoughtit was really cool but, like to
be honest, like some of thatstuff was Pretty dangerous
because you didn't know who youwere talking to and people are
so dead going crazy and you knowit was dangerous, but it was so
(20:01):
like still kind of like newthat you're just like who would
do that?
Speaker 3 (20:03):
I mean yeah, so why wouldn't some?
Why wouldn't this person bethem?
Speaker 1 (20:07):
But yeah, I think people were just looking for
community, and I think that'swhat we were.
Well, back then, the chat roomswere the way to communicate,
but now it's like DMs you canhit people up in DMs now Like
yeah.
And I think that's the scariestpart with children.
It's like these yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
And the vanishing DMs .
Now everything can disappear,yes, so that's weird.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Which is weird?
They set you up.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
Yeah, that location.
You can get locations of wherepeople are.
Snapchat is scary, so I'm justsaying if it's worrisome for us.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
it just makes me think about my kids and that's
why I don't want them to be likeintroduced at an older age.
I'm like, yeah, because likeyour brain definitely does, so
what age do?
You think you're going to do it.
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
I think whenever they're interested or whenever
they ask about it.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
Yeah, Because I don't want to be like I've learned a
lot, Like I'll say no sometimesI'm like why am I saying no Yep?
Because it just seems like theright.
So I think just saying yes andintroducing it to them earlier
and I don't know, and just bescared on the inside, I'm going
to be scared.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
If you could change one thing about social media,
what would it be?
Speaker 1 (21:14):
You can change one thing.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
Less stuff that could disappear.
I think it just makes it soeasy to hide stuff now.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
And I wish there was less ways to hide stuff.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
Or.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
I don't know, I'm not very creative in that way.
That's the only thing I canthink of.
I just want them to be able tohide stuff.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
Yeah, that's true, that's my big thing.
What about in a positive way,like we talked a little bit in
the beginning about the pros ofsocial media, and like the
community that you build, andlike how we get our information.
And like in the perfect world,like how, what would you like?
Speaker 3 (21:50):
for them to add how would social media better Like?
I'm always like this, is ityeah?
Speaker 2 (21:53):
this is so great.
They come out with an updateevery week.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
But I feel like they've done a great job at
trying to help people's mentalhealth.
I mean, like you are theconsumer, so you, it's your
choice whether you're consumingor not consuming, yeah, but
they've done a great job athiding likes.
They've done a great job atturning off your comments, if
you need to turn off yourcomments.
So I feel like they're tryingto go in the right direction
where they're limiting people'svalidation and exposure of like
(22:19):
filling less than because theydon't have this many likes or
this many comments.
So I think they're heading inthe right direction.
Speaker 3 (22:25):
I think they do all that for marketing.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
I don't think so.
I mean, they can't, but I feellike they don't think they care
about it.
I don't, I feel like they don't.
Speaker 3 (22:31):
Companies don't care about likes, they care about
engagement.
Bad comments affect marketingLike.
I'm very cynical about thatstuff.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
But you know what?
I've never looked at it fromthat perspective.
Yeah, but now that I thinkabout it, yeah, I mean I'm very
cynical.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
I watch that like Netflix special and I saw that
basically all of social media isset so we can just sell stuff
to each other.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Like whether you're a formal influencer or not.
Speaker 3 (22:54):
And I don't think it's like a bad thing, but I
think it's like I don't like thethat again it goes to despair.
I don't like the sneakinessabout it.
Like I don't like when they'redoing it that way.
I like the idea of likeinfluencers Like this is what
I'm doing and this is what I'msharing, but, like for me, a
normal person just being me,like I don't want to, I don't
want to feel pressured.
Like that.
(23:15):
I'm being used that way.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
But am I going to get ?
Speaker 3 (23:17):
off social media.
No, no, they're going to keepusing me.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Well, we talked about even getting off social media.
That was one of the questions.
How often do you guys take yourbreaks?
Speaker 3 (23:27):
I did it Probably like I used to do it, like
they'd have like a churchblackout, but then you find some
excuse, like I got to check itbecause it didn't feel like it
was coming from, like my, like Iwant to do it.
So the last time I did it was,I think, the top of 2021, but
that's because I was at the timeof stay at home mom and I was
actually happy with it.
(23:48):
But, every time I was scrollingon social media I was like this
is not okay, I need to be doingsomething.
This person has a business andthis person's doing this, and
even people I knew that reallyweren't doing something or
really weren't successful atwhat they were doing, I was like
it's still a good on social.
So it still made me feel wayI'd be like.
That's not real, but I'm like,but it looked pretty good, but
it looks real.
And so I just felt so muchpressure and I didn't want to
(24:09):
like just do something, to dosomething.
I was like I need to get off toget my brain right.
So I got off for like a monthand then when I got back on, it
felt so good because I didn'thave those like automatic
triggers to like scroll and tocheck my phone.
I would pick it up less andless and less and then all of a
sudden like then you just backto normal.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
Yeah, yeah, what about you?
So I think, because it is myfull-time job, it kind of makes
it a little bit harder.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Very.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
I don't feel.
I don't feel the pressure thatI have to post every day Like I
create, when I feel creative.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
Yeah, yes.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
I mean, I haven't posted in a week and I'm okay
with like not being able to like.
I don't feel like I'm missingout, yeah, or like I'm not part
of a trend, yeah, now, it hasn'talways been like that.
I've struggled in the past,like years ago like not even
years ago, I would say last year, before that Like you'll
disappear, but like, yeah, likepeople are going to forget about
you, or you're not?
like doing enough, like I feellike I'm in a different season
(25:03):
of my life where I'm like youknow, I'm okay with being on
God's timing and not the rest ofthe world's timing.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
So yeah, Social media literally tells you you don't
post every day you're going tobe on the output.
So it gives you that pressure.
Yeah, and I'm glad you werelike, hey, my content's good.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
My content is good.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
Come forward and don't yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
I take I used to take breaks way more, thank you.
I would do every every Januarythe whole month.
I would the whole month everyJanuary.
I would do it especially when Iwas in the corporate world
because I had more of a choice.
Now I'm pretty much all socialmedia.
It's literally like my job.
So even though I don't post onmy page as much because I'm
(25:46):
posting on all these otheraccounts that I run, I end up,
of course, I get my inspirationfrom different things and so I
end up scrolling all the time.
I feel like I'm always onsocial, even if it's not for
myself.
So I don't feel like I ever getto take a break.
So that part honestly doesstink, because I wish I would
have times where I can just notbe on social at all because it
(26:09):
does, it stunts my creativity,especially like in the in the
like Stunt it.
Speaker 3 (26:15):
But I think also, like you said, there's some
things that can inspire thoughts.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Oh, certainly yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
Like things that thought like weren't even
possible, like you see somepeople's transitions or the
things that they post, or likeseeing people like put their
passion out there.
I think that's always like.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Oh all the time, which is what I love about it,
but then I'm like I'm doing itevery day, all day, nonstop.
So I have one of the things Ihave done is like just trying to
create a better rhythm formyself of like, okay, Morgan,
like from this time to this time, maybe this is your time to
just like not do anything at all, or pre-plan it so that you can
(26:50):
like do something else in themeantime Weekends.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
I've done a lot better, but it's still like the
time restriction on it before,and I would just be like I did
that one.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Yeah, I did that, I did that, I did that.
Speaker 3 (27:03):
I was like I'm the, and that did not work it didn't
work, but it made me consciousof how long I was on there,
because I was like, if it poppedup, I was like, oh, I must have
been on here a lot, but I woulddefinitely just.
But it was nice yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
Nice thought.
Do you guys have boundarieswhen it comes to social media,
like you kind of like brought itup a little bit, but like yeah,
is there.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
I would say my boundaries.
Do you mean to what?
Speaker 1 (27:26):
I post no more, so just like like spending all your
time on there, or like.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Yeah.
Not, so you don't feeloverwhelmed or feel behind, or
you know you're getting lostWhenever I catch myself,
literally, literally times whenI catch myself mindlessly
scrolling or I'll like beworking on something, and then
I'll go to social to be like, oh, I saw this and this inspired
me, what was it?
And then all of a sudden I'mscrolling and doing something
(27:51):
totally different.
So then what I'll do is, when Icatch myself, I'm like all
right, I'm going to put my phonedown all together and go do
something else, and then I'llcome back to it, just so that I
can kind of get myself out ofthat.
Speaker 3 (28:03):
Yeah, you know, yeah, I'm not really on it all day,
but I'm like on it sosporadically you can like equal
up to so much time.
So my boundary that I want thatI always end up not doing but
I'm like when I'm with my kidsat lunch, when I'm with my kids
like after dinner to theirbedtime like two hours.
I'm like not going on socialmedia, like even if I'm just
(28:23):
laying there, I just want to belike more present, yes, and then
the next thing I know I'm like,oh, I need to, I thought of
this, or you're on somethingelse, and then your thumb
somehow falls like, oh, how am?
Speaker 2 (28:33):
I Yep.
I was like, how did I get here?
Speaker 3 (28:36):
Right exactly, I was literally in my calendar and now
I'm scrolling, I'm scrolling,but I will say the one thing
that I don't I rarely, rarely,rarely get on is TikTok, because
that thing I love it.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
It is no, it's amazing, it's great, it's so
amazing I can't stop.
Speaker 3 (28:52):
It's hard, it's like, because the algorithm is so
smart and so fast.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
I go there for a laugh, oh my God, whenever I
need to pick me up.
It's incredible.
Speaker 3 (29:02):
But I have, like I guess like a binge personality
in some ways.
I literally can't stop.
It's hard and like yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
Do you guys feel addicted to social media Like,
have you?
Speaker 2 (29:13):
No, because if I could, I would not be a bear.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
You're going to say what an addict.
You're going to say an addict.
I could stop anytime.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
Yeah, like I would literally if I could stop.
When it comes to like, oh, Ican say I'm not going to be up
here for a week, oh yeah, Iwouldn't.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
Yeah, I wouldn't.
I don't think I'm addicted likea fiend, but I think it's
become like I'm like you know,but it's a habit.
It's a habit.
It's literally like it takes alot to break it.
Like sometimes, when I'm justhere, I'm like, oh, I just want
to like look, and it's not like,oh, I need to be on social
media.
It's just my hands, my body,automatically does it.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
That's the key, Because I've been there before.
When I do have the break, I'mlike I actually don't.
I have no reason to be up hereright now.
So, yes, it's like more of ahabit that needs to be break.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
Yeah, I have nothing to check right now, so yes, no,
I really felt like I wasaddicted to it.
Yeah, presently or like either,or I mean a little bit of both.
We're like I'm working becauseI'm in school right now, so I'm
doing homework.
So to help me, I set my timerfor 30 minutes so I can focus on
my homework, and then for like10 minutes I take a break.
(30:19):
And that 10 minutes I'm likescrolling.
So I'm scrolling, I'm likelooking on social just to take a
break.
But it's like.
It's so like you get on it likeautomatically you wake up, you
get on it, you go to thebathroom you go.
It's made from that, though.
Speaker 3 (30:31):
It's, literally, it is, it's doing what it's
supposed to do, yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
I'm like this is really addicting.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
Even though.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
I don't want it Like, I don't want to be on my phone,
but it's like the first thing Igrab, the first thing, you know
, when you go to the bathroom orlike whatever.
I just feel like it's alwaysthere, so accessible to
everything, to everybody, youknow.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
And I would say the best part about it.
I know we talked about thisbefore, but I just thought about
it because I just had my 20year high school reunion, yes,
god, and I missed it, but youknow the fun Sorry guys.
I mean, I didn't even buy thetickets the day before I knew I
was going, but I feel like I canand this can be a downside, but
I feel like I can keep up withso many people.
(31:11):
Like I feel I can talk to peopleI haven't seen in years or
moved away, like I love beingable to like stay in contact
with my friends or, even ifwe're not, like talking on there
, like I can see what people areup to.
So I didn't go to my first highschool reunion because I was
like, oh, we got, I know whaty'all doing.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Why not like now show up, or what have you?
Speaker 3 (31:29):
So I think it's like.
I like how it kind of makes theworld smaller in that sense.
Yes, I agree.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
And you find out like who knows who.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
Oh, my God.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
One D'Corey Association family which is so
crazy.
Like you'll see somebody's likehow this person liked this
picture, but how does thisperson know this person?
So that part is really cool,and I think even because I mean,
let's be honest, this is whatwe do, but that is the part I
love about it is the fact that,like you said earlier B we are
(31:59):
able to give so much information, and it has become a resource
to so many people, and even whenwe started this which we thank
you guys so much for is peoplewere like oh my gosh, this is
not just me Like it gives peoplean opportunity to be real.
It gives people an opportunityto say me too, you know, and
that is like chess, kiss.
(32:22):
What would you say, though, toa mom who maybe wants to start
putting more content out?
I see that a lot.
They're like oh, I wish I couldlike do more content.
I want to like do more stuff.
What would you say?
Speaker 1 (32:37):
I would sell people who want to start doing social
media.
It's by tripod.
It does not have to beexpensive Literally $10, $15 on
Amazon and set it up.
That's really how I started.
I was like I'm going to setthis tripod up and I'm just
going to document my life andit's kind of what I did and what
I do now and I just post it.
So that's what I would tell mymom Just go and just do it.
(32:58):
Don't let the fear keep youfrom going after something you
desire, like.
If God put it on your heart totalk about motherhood or to do
something that you're passionateabout via social media, then
just do it?
Speaker 2 (33:10):
Go for it, go for it.
Yeah, do you have anything toadd, or are you?
Speaker 3 (33:13):
like that's it.
I would say.
I keep saying I'm going to puta little camera in my car
because that's where the goldhappens.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
It does In the car.
I'm telling you, that's my idea, take it.
Speaker 3 (33:27):
Take it Well, let us know what you guys think about
social media.
Is it used for good?
Is it used for evil?
What are your pros and cons?
Let us know.
But in the meantime, thank youfor watching moms actually wear.
Motherhood meets sisterhood.
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