January 18, 2024 • 53 mins
Raise your hand if you love Megan Ashley! (We have 4 hands raised over here).
Season 4 of Moms Actually is kicking off with Megan Ashley. We got to sit down with Megan a few weeks before she launched her podcast, “In Totality”, and we were able to talk about:
- Motherhood, Judgement and Expectations
- The Impact of Identity on Women
- The Importance of Self-Care for Happiness
- Time Management and Parenting Reflections
- Balancing Motherhood and Personal Life
- Trusting God During Challenging Times
- Encouragement for Mothers
This episode truly honors the resilience and grace that women carry. If you want to feel seen and valued, listen in - this is truly a testament to the power of faith.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
God said what was that?
You rejected the very thingthat I gave you because it
didn't come in the form that youasked for.
What's up, hey Mom?
What's?
Speaker 2 (00:11):
up.
Hey Mom, what's up?
Hey Mom, what's up.
Hey Mom, welcome to Mom's.
Actually, my name is Morgan andI'm Blair and we have Megan
Ashley.
What, how, I don't know, god, Idon't know.
I guess this is crazy, but weare so grateful that you are
(00:32):
here.
Thank you so much for coming tojust hang with us.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Yes, I mean, who wouldn't want to hang out here?
I got set up pretty nice,pretty nice.
It's a little bit Very nice.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Now we want you to introduce yourself.
Tell the people I know, thepeople know who you are.
Yeah, but for the one, okay.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Just you know, my name is Megan Ashley.
I am a I guess, a contentcreator.
I am a lover of Christ, I'm amom and I have some amazing kids
, and I am, yeah, I guess my jobis to share my journey.
Yeah, so that's what I'm doing.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
I love that.
Yeah, well, welcome back.
Like I said, we are reallyexcited to just get right into
the episode, but we always giveyou guys a little moment to do
something very important.
Yes, if you don't know whatthat very important thing is.
I want you to tell them.
Blair, Press that button.
Subscribe.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Subscribe.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Please, yeah, all right.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
Cool.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Now let's get into some really good conversation.
But before we get into theconversation, before we start,
just, you know, ask you all thequestions again in your business
.
We like to just do a little bitof something.
So these paddles here are herefor a reason.
They are what, what do?
Speaker 3 (01:41):
we do.
We're going to play a littlegame.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
So that you know we can get comfortable icebreaker
kind of thing.
So it's called it's givingmotherhood.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
And so we're going to ask you some yes or no
questions.
We are going to ask you someeither or questions.
The gold is yes for the firstoption, the white is no or the
second option Got it Okay.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Ready?
Yes, right now.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
Got it Okay.
Question number one have youever felt judged for your
parenting style?
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Oh, for sure.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Oh, for sure, 100%.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Like does every Probably yes.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
But it's like, always for different reasons, which is
why nobody?
Can win.
Like I travel a lot, so peoplewill be like you know you never
home with your kids or somethinglike that.
You never go home all the time.
Why don't you go out and get alife Like you?
Speaker 2 (02:26):
can't win.
Yeah, I feel like I was judgedthe most or I felt the more
judgment when I was younger.
That's going to say for beingan almost teen mom yeah, Almost
teen mom.
So I was 20 when I had Laylaand I feel like everybody will
always just try to tell me whatto do, Like I did, like the
simple things that you knowmom's.
The intuition just kind ofkicks in, Even if you don't all
the way know what you're doing.
(02:47):
It was just always like oh yousure, you you know or you better
make sure you know you don'thave to be like oh I'm going to
get out of bed and I'm like guys.
I.
I know yeah, this is mydaughter.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
I'm not going to let her, you know, be out here.
It's, it's the, you know, sixin one hand, half a dozen
another.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
You want the help but you don't want the overbearing
yes, opinions.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
And it's like if I ask you for help, give it to me.
Yes, if I don't ask, then don'tdo it to yourself.
Please Leave it to yourself.
I'm trying.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
Did you always want kids?
Yes, yes, no.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
We know your story.
Yeah, I was like I'll startwith the yeses.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Yeah, I always wanted kids Ever since I was young.
That was like the only or oneof the things that my mom said I
used to say all the time, likeI couldn't wait to be a wife of
my mom.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
That's an open.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Yeah, I just always, but I was always good with kids
too, ever since at a young age Iwas always the one that had all
the little babies at church,you know, with me.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
So I was like, Did you have a number you knew you
wanted like four or five or two,I think when I was young, I
wanted to have as many as Icould.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
Yeah, and then when I got older, because that doesn't
mean anything to your body,yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
And that child's like oh, this is what happens when I
have kids.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Because I'm my mom's only child, so I'm just raised
like I'm the only child.
So I think you're kind of theonly child.
You kind of always desire a bigfamily big siblings.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
She's like no, I was like.
Yeah, no, I was like what Ijust said.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
yes, you're like, I like this by myself.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
I wasn't the extroverted only like the one
who liked to be out aroundpeople, but my parents also
didn't have friends, so I justgrew up in a very like silent
like style.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
OK In general.
No cousins, no nothing.
We had a lot of like, everybodywas like.
My mom had a lot of friends andthey became family.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
You guys were the house.
Yeah, you had all the aunties,yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Like all the you know .
So I just always wanted a bigfamily at a young age that makes
sense.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Yeah, ok, you wanted the kids too.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Yeah, I thought I wanted at least four or five,
and then I realized quickly.
I mean instantly, like as quickas I did not back is how
quickly I knew that I did notwant that many.
For sure, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
And you have.
Yours are around the same age,I think, as mine 11, 7 and 5.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Yeah, and I have 13, 10 and 9.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Yep, and so, when they're little like that, at the
same time them two and diapers.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
That's what actually made me potty train my middle
quicker.
That's what I mean, because assoon as my son came and they
were both in there I said, oh no.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
Mine went hooked at the same time.
Yeah, we're not doing that,because I wanted my kids close
together.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
Yeah, I got a one-to-one plans too.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
I was like I'll pay for it up front for it.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Oh, you definitely will pay for it.
Yeah, and it was, and it wasyeah 100%.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
But no, I didn't want any.
I knew how much responsibilityit was Like I knew it was going
to be work and I didn't want todo it Like think about your only
child.
I've never had to reallyconsider anybody else.
I knew that about myself.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
You're like no, I don't want to.
I love that you're self-awareand have to know that yes, very.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Because, I think naive is the other side.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
You jump into it thinking it's going to be like
oh, because it's something I'vealways wanted.
And then it's like, yeah, no.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
I know I'm giving because I want to be.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
When you have kids.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
It's not a choice.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Yeah, no, it's not a choice at all Having to become a
morning person.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
Yeah, I didn't.
The two things I did not wantto take my kids to the bus stop
early in the morning, yeah, andI did not want to do car seats
in the rain.
That makes sense.
I was very like, very specific,so you already had that in your
mind before you evenexperienced it.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
You were like I don't want to do that, I don't want
to do.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
That I understand and that is motherhood, that's OK,
yeah.
That's motherhood.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
You have to do a bunch of stuff that you don't
want to A bunch of stuff youdon't want to but do you feel
like because you realized thatupfront and made you more
prepared going into motherhood.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Because you already like I feel like you were
already assessing out all thethings that you didn't want to
do.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
I would say the only reason it didn't.
So my birth control failed andthat's a whole story.
And then I think when I hadthem I had postpartum anxiety,
so that kind of threw me off.
Otherwise I thought I wasprepared for it, only because
I'm very analytical andstrategic and prepared.
So I'm like, oh, I can do thisif I do it like this.
But then the postpartum anxietyjust kind of threw me off and I
(07:00):
realized as a person who neverneeded help.
I can figure out how to doanything, like I can zip my
dress up if I have to I can doall the things.
And then I realized, oh, I needhelp.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
And that was a weird thing to need help.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
It's have to ask for help.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Yeah, especially when it's for you.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
Yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Because I'll help anybody.
I identify with that a lot forsure.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
So do you feel like the expectations of mothers are
unrealistic?
Absolutely, I'm like, is this aquestion?
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Yeah, I feel like the world forgets that we are women
.
The world forgets that we arehuman.
Yeah, like point, like a period, but I said woman first,
because once you become a mom,it's like you are a mom.
It takes away all the otherthings.
We don't have any other issues.
And I feel like you say it allthe time.
(07:48):
You didn't realize your mom wasa woman until you were older.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Have you ever thought about that, like when you were
asking for things as a teenager?
A little kid like your mommight have been going through it
with her best friend or herhusband or whatever, yeah.
Like I've never considered thatuntil like a year or two ago.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Until you actually go through things as a woman.
I mean, I've been going throughstuff before that.
And I still didn't think aboutit.
What do you think?
What was it that made you?
Speaker 3 (08:12):
I have no Maybe we were, I think, this platform
because we're focused more onthe women.
So I started thinking moreabout it and I was like man my
mom probably- was going through.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
And because now she tries to talk to me more and I'm
like man you were probably like, and I'm complaining about
going to a party.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
And you're like I just fought with my mom or I
didn't take the chicken out.
Yeah, chicken out the freezer.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
But I realize that's a thing now.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Oh, it really is.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
No, but I think.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
I shouldn't have took the meat out the freezer.
Yeah, but it's awful howsociety treats us at times.
And then even just like evenrelationships, and there's just
so much.
Yeah, we get the short end ofthe stick.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Yeah, I think that that's a thing that we see a lot
is this yearning for identitywith women and because when we
get married, we lose our lastnames.
When we have kids, we lose ourfirst names.
You know what I'm saying, soyou, lose your identity.
I lost my last name, I lose myfirst name.
(09:13):
Who am I now?
And I think that people don'tconsider the impact that just
life has on a woman, becausethere's so much of us that we
have to serve all the time in somany capacities, in so many
ways, and that identity thing islost.
(09:36):
Yeah, and I think that that'sthe thing that we're really
searching for, that we can't.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
Especially since most of us don't find our identity
before marriage and kids Becausewe're so focused on trying to
get married to kids.
So you do whatever you have todo and to come wherever you have
to become to get the thing thatyou think you want, and then
you have no foundation to reston when things happen.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
It's like, hey, now I've got to find who I am
amongst all this stuff, which iswhy, when post-partum
depression comes in, it's thatgrounding and reality that you
still have to be taken care of.
You are still a person and youhave to figure out who you are,
and it's not predicated on youbeing a mom and you being a wife
(10:18):
, because those things clearlydidn't sustain you when you were
going through post-partumdepression.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
No, I could functionally do things, but I
didn't have a grounding in that.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
It didn't give you the solution.
It wasn't the medicine to fixit.
Exactly.
Obviously, you love your familyBecause, as moms, we can get on
the soapbox.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
So do you even like your kids?
Yeah, you got to go with them,but I love my kids.
It's like you have to say thata lot less.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Because, people will look at you like, but it's like
how we will get anywhere ifwe're not being honest with them
.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Right, and that is, I think that's what made me talk
so much about self-care nowbecause of the fact that when I
went through post-partumdepression so bad I realized I
was like none of that low, cutestuff works.
I have to look within andfigure out what is going,
because a lot of the times thedepression and all that stuff
that does happen post-partum isalready a thing.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Whether or not you tag on anxiety or a person on
top of it, it's already a thing.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
So once I realized that and all these things were
coming up, I was like, OK, Ineed to deal with these things
and it's going to take more thana massage and nine times out of
10, it has nothing to do withyour children.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
No, oh no, it's like.
All the stuff that you avoidedleading to this point is now the
thing that you have to like.
You can't escape you, and Ithink that that's the thing that
I would want moms to know, orpeople to know in general.
You can't escape you.
You're always going to findyourself.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Look at you jumping ahead.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
I'm sorry, no, no, you go, but I'm just like that
is a thing that I'm like, andmaybe because I'm in this season
, so y'all are getting a realRaw version of me.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
That's what we're here for, so you're getting a
real.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Raw version of me, but it's like you can't escape
you, no matter where you turnyou will always find yourself.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
You can fake it for everybody else.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
You know what I mean.
And so if you don't addressthose things, it's a rude
awakening.
It's a rude awakening and thenyou realize, like, did I go
after these things with thepurest intent?
Yeah, that's true.
Now I'm a mom and I'm a wifeand I'm not happy.
Speaker 3 (12:30):
That's right, and you know how, when you're young,
everybody tells you enjoy yoursingle season.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
You're like yeah, yeah, yeah, but now we get it
Listen.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
It's like enjoy your single season.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Like enjoy it, Not only just enjoy it but take it,
be a good steward over yourseason, yes, over your life,
because you are going to findyourself in a position that you
haven't even prepared yourselfto be.
Yeah, at all.
You so busy wanting to be awife and a mom and you have done
(13:02):
nothing, nothing.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
To address you Nothing.
And you wonder why you're nothappy.
Got all the things you werechasing you supposed to come in
whole Think about what you like.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Think about what you like.
No.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
That whole.
You complete me.
No, that whole, you mightbetter have no Recipe for
failure.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
No, because what happens, not even if it's a
person, she's like you want it,I have to give up.
Not if it's a person leaves you, but if the person it becomes
sick and becomes a vegetable,then what?
Then what?
Then what?
Now you've got to be acaretaker and you're taking care
of the person that you neededthe most.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
That's true and people change, Like in seasons.
In marriage you're not the samepeople.
So whatever they gave you inthe first two years, they might
not give you in the next twoyears.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
So you're leaving yourself open to be filled
completely by somebody who hasevery possibility of changing.
Yeah, like people don't.
I tell people this all the timebecause I've been married and
I'm no longer married.
So I feel like when you gothrough a divorce, you kind of
have some wisdom that otherpeople don't have right, and I
(14:10):
think that it's extremelyimportant to know that when you
are saying yes to somebody I'mgoing to get married to somebody
that you are saying yes to thepossibilities of a person.
I am not just saying yes to whoyou are right now, I'm saying
yes to who you could possibly be.
(14:31):
And not only am I saying yes toyou and your possibilities, but
I'm saying that I'm going tocommit myself to you through all
of those possibilities.
And we don't take that inconsideration, which is why you
see divorce happen like this.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
Oh no, I tell people marry them, assuming they'll
never change.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
Assume they and soon nothing will get better.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
Yeah, the worst thing about them.
Imagine it's going to stay,because we are like, oh,
wouldn't we get married?
Or when they get a little bitlike we put all these
expectations and then they'rethe same person and disappointed
.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Or women, and I've been guilty of this too.
I'll say this I am going tojust say I've been guilty of it,
but like wanting to be marriedso bad, or wanting that thing so
bad, wanting the baby so bad,wanting the marriage so bad, or
whatever, that you're willing tobecome not your authentic self
(15:23):
to gain those things.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
So then, when your authentic self shows up, and
what you got, Now you're thecrazy one, you crazy that's why,
I say show your crazy up,friend, don't be the cool girl.
Go to Vegas.
Boo, it's okay, have fun, dothis Like we are so malleable
and flexible so that someonewill love us, or like us and
(15:47):
then eventually you got to beyourself or whoever your
fallback is, because most of thetime we don't know who we are.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
Well, you have to also ask yourself do I like me?
Yeah, Do I even like myself?
Speaker 2 (16:02):
And we don't always like myself and I say I get on
my last nerve.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
On a regular, I am on my own nerves all the time.
What is going on?
So I get you know what I'msaying Until I get on my nerves.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
So I can only imagine the people in my life.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
If I were to ever get married again, I would never
enter in that space withoutfully knowing who I am and fully
having an identity of makingNot making as a mom, not making
as a content person, not makingas a whatever.
Who am I Just on my own?
(16:41):
Do I even like myself?
Do I even like?
Do I respect myself?
Do I respect my decisions?
I think would save, andaddressing those questions would
save, a lot of people from alot of heartache.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
Okay, do you take time for self care that isn't
tied to regular life maintenance, like your nails maintenance,
showers maintenance, somemassage maintenance?
Speaker 1 (17:07):
And I'm going to be honest because I actually saw
something about that not toolong ago, when they were like
self care is not taking a shower.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Self care is not, you know getting your nails done or
getting your hair done.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
That's not self care, that's just life maintenance.
That's adulting.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
You get back home and you're still the same person.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
So it's not self care .
Speaker 3 (17:27):
It's self care is supposed to actually like
transform.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
I call it soul care.
How are you caring for your?
Speaker 1 (17:31):
soul, Well I guess, I would just like this is real
time happening.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
I'm like hmm how do I ?
Speaker 1 (17:38):
well, I guess if it's , if self care is soul care,
then I would say, like the timethat I spend with God would be
like my self care, yeah, so Iguess I would say that Just
stuff like that even sharingCause I was like mom's.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
actually it's work, but it's my self care.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
What I do.
It transforms me, it opens mymind to things that mean people.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
It's transforming me.
It's taking care of me so I canbe better as a person yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
And all the roles that you have to play in your
life, for sure yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
I would say I definitely y'all know me either.
Y'all know me, I'm pro selfcare, soul care, because I
realized that I cannot, I justcannot do without.
I just I live too many I have,I play too many roles, I wear
too many hats and I have foundmyself in the darkest of moments
(18:28):
that I'm like, if I don't dothis, I will indeed be crazy, or
I just won't go forward, likeforward and live to my fullest
potential, and everyone is goingto not benefit in a good way,
like everybody is going to toreally, really, I'm going to
bleed all over essentiallythey're going to suffer and I
don't want to do that Especiallynot over people that I really
(18:50):
love and care about.
I just know what me not caringfor myself looks like yeah.
And that's why nails can't doit, the nails can't do it.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
They look cute y'all.
And I understand everybody.
Can't.
People think because they can'tafford it's a special money
spend Sometimes they think it'sself care.
So no, it's still maintenance.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Yeah, yeah, and I understand that you're going
into those spaces like Not even,at least I'm gonna get off my
phone.
Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,allow this pedicure.
Maybe this is the only.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Yes, I can do, but I'm gonna allow this here, to
sit here, not gonna be on myphone.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
I'm going to control my thoughts.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
I'm actually gonna think about what I'm thinking
about.
I'm gonna actually takeinventory of my life right now.
Yes, cuz this is the time Ihave to do it.
So if you do have, if, pedicureis that yeah, just take full
advantage.
Yeah, if the shower is all, youcan do that take full advantage
of those.
Moments, cuz I know how it isas a mom.
(19:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
I'm that shower is all you got the car ride, the
car ride home from work.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Mm-hmm you, I still utilize those moments, me too.
That's my favorite.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
Oh, I usually numb out those I like disappear in
those moments.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
Yeah, like I don't know.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
I am.
See my brain in those moments.
I don't want to think about.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
I talk to myself, I talk to God, but it's just that
Taking that I knew that I neededthat time when I used to work
and I was working like a nine tofive, I know needed that time
from that environment beforestepping into mom, environment,
clock it in.
I needed that in between now tobe like okay, let's have a
(20:28):
Megan moment.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Yes, let's just be Megan for a second.
Yeah, Megan moment.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Let let me just be a Megan moment, for a minute yeah.
But yeah, I just taking thosemoments to just be Not a mom,
yeah, not a wife, not anemployee, not an entrepreneur
yeah, take a moment.
And just who?
Who are you?
Speaker 2 (20:52):
What are you feeling right now?
Yeah, that's a good point.
I'm glad you said that becausewe hear all the time, especially
the single moms.
They're like I don't have thetime to do all that I don't have
.
I'm like sometimes the gym likeand it's not the gym, and it's
me literally right before I goto bed putting on a YouTube Like
little five to ten minute atworkout or something, and then
(21:14):
finishing with a bedtime yoga,like that's my moment, that's it
, but they got stretches frombed.
Speaker 3 (21:25):
They got workouts or work like they have that's,
that's there's, yeah, there'sways.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Yeah, there's a way.
Yeah, that's the thing they'rewe learned yesterday.
No excuse, yeah, there's not it.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Sometimes it's not that you don't have time, it's
just that you're not organized.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
Yeah, not organize or not organize your time.
You know you don't really wantit, you don't want, you don't
want to do it, because if youwant to do something, you'll do
it.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
I don't want to work out yeah, ever yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
which is why I don't yeah, Cuz I don't want to do.
I have equipment in my garage.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Don't get touched it won't.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Just go do it.
You didn't got it in your house.
You don't even gotta go nowhere.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
Someone's got to like go with me, because I don't
want to do it Well, cuz I madefriends at the gym, so now I
feel like if I don't go, therelike.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Show up.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Yeah, but I have to be held accountable things I
don't want to do by somebodyelse.
Yeah, I'm the same, I'm gonnado it.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
Okay, have you ever caught yourself saying phrases
your own parents used to say?
Yes, you don't even know what aheadache is yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:31):
Yeah, I used to get so offended because I had
headaches, but now, like I thinkfive years ago, I realized they
meant like life, yeah you everbeen through life to have a
headache.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Yeah yeah like you're sick and you laugh a little bit
and oh, you're not sick, nomore.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Something was just funny.
Yeah, I still have strep throat.
Yeah, something was just funny.
Like I'm not immune to laughing, yeah, but that's how mama, I
mean, I get it.
That's how parents especiallyblack parents.
Yeah, you find we, I'm not fine.
I'm not sure is a hundred andfive.
I'm not fine and ginger ale isnot gonna do it water.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
I'd like to drink some water.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
I had the mama that, like when I had pink eye, I
would go to bed Right, I wouldopen my eyes, I would see clear,
will close my eyes, go sleep, Iwould open them up and it was
olive oil because she hasanointed my.
I said so.
Not only do I have pink eye,knock, I got olive all of my
eyes, but now you're adding onto some sort of infection With
(23:34):
all of a simple prayer.
Would have survived, I'm sureGod would have done it.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
Yeah, my kids can be sick and I'm like we still
haven't schooled their homes.
Good, I'm like we still haven'tschool.
There's not she don't play.
I'm like you're still doingwhatever you guys need to do.
They got the timer on.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
I always tell them they are fine.
I be feeling so bad from um no.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
Unless something's really happening.
I just don't like.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
I'm just like it's really happening.
Speaker 3 (23:59):
I just believe words matter and excuses and I'm just
like I don't know if they'rereally sick.
Yeah, maybe or maybe I missedit yeah but, I'm like let's go.
During COVID we started that Ifound a girl who was in school
to be a teacher online and shecame and she's been with us for
two years.
Yeah, my daughter really is.
I feel bad, though I feel likeit puts her to deficit in life.
So she's Mensa, she's, she's agenius because she has like I
(24:22):
think it's because she hashigher than level like
comprehension Mm-hmm.
She's not like the kids onEllen where I'm like gonna name
every single country or whatever, but once people know you're
like Smart or genius, I feellike it's like I'll be like no,
well, what's six times three?
She'll be like elephant.
I'm like see you making me looklike an idiot.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
I Feel like there's so much pressure once you're
supposed to be smart, yeah, andso I've been working on being
like you're a hard worker,you're all this other stuff, not
you're smart or not.
Speaker 3 (24:46):
You're this okay.
Would you go back and changeOne thing, anything, and you
could still get.
How about this?
Because people are like, oh, Istill want to be where I am
today.
Mm-hmm, you can change onething and still be where you are
today, would you?
Speaker 1 (25:00):
oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
I would, but there's a few things.
It's just like more than onedodged.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
You know, would you guys change anything if it
changed for you, where you don'tknow if you'd be here or not?
Speaker 2 (25:10):
Oh, I, know for sure if I would have never met this
person that I would still behere, Sorry.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
I don't know what to do after that.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
I mean, yeah, there's definitely like Little nuances
in my life that I'm like.
My life would probably still bethe same.
You were unnecessary you know,yeah, like but then again it's
like you don't know, you know soevery, would you risk it all?
Yeah, it's like I think,whatever if I could change
(25:45):
anything, as long as I have whatI have with God right now, yeah
, that's the only thing that I'mlike, as long as that doesn't
change, that's the mostimportant thing.
And, being where I'm at, I knowthat so many of the stuff that
was painful led me to this point, yeah, which is why it would be
hard to be like dang.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
I wish I didn't happen, but that led me here.
Speaker 3 (26:05):
Yeah, yeah, what about you?
B Anything before the lastdecade?
I might like risk it, but likethe last decade has been like
the most transformative I've had, so it's like I wouldn't change
anything.
Good, bad ugly about the lastdecade.
But like before that, like man,if I could get away from some
of that and still have gotten tothe last decade.
Then, yeah, yeah, I don'thundred percent change some
(26:25):
things, because life was life.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
All right, girls night in or girls night out,
girls night in.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
Girls night out while in?
Okay, yeah, I want to gosomewhere.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
And then come back to the house.
Yeah, like some middle, I'mwith you on the middle.
Yeah cuz I, I like being ableto get dressed up and you know,
yeah, really let my hair down,but then I want to come back to
the house and chill.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
Yeah, I like a dinner and yeah.
Is that the house.
Yeah that's like let's go dressup me to do dinner, yes, and
then let's come back to that.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
Have you ever used your kids as an excuse to why
you can't show up to?
Speaker 1 (27:16):
But it's still the truth, but yeah yeah, it's like
yeah, I have kids, so I can't.
I can't make it.
It's not as easy.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
Now we have really gotten into Conversation, so
it's been great cuz we alreadylike here.
But I do want to ask you, asyou have continued to grow your
career and being a mom and allthe things, and you're just out
there, yeah, right now Out outthere, um, is there anything
that you don't often get to talkabout, that you're like you
(27:48):
know what I Want, megan?
Speaker 1 (27:50):
to talk about this more.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
I want people to hear this from Megan.
Is there anything like that?
I feel like I'm.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
I have been feeling lately that I'm super redundant,
like I said some of the samethings, or, as I'm 33 and I've
I've experienced a lot, but likethe major points in my life,
like my son having autism orbeing pregnant at 19, like these
are things that people knowthat are out there.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
Yeah, like I got pregnant at 19.
We'll see.
That shows you you feelredundant.
But there's Marketing.
You got to say something.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
I think three to six times yeah so sometimes I'm like
, when you ask me, I'm like Idon't know what I don't get to
talk about, because I feel likeI've had the opportunity to kind
of say everything.
But probably, like, motherhoodis Something I don't think I've
been able to really dive a lotinto, which is why I was really
(28:44):
excited to come to come here,because you know, I have three
boys, yeah, you know, andthey're, they're everything.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
I will say, when I look at like your profile and
I've been following you for alittle bit I'm like how does she
do the boy mom thing?
Mm-hmm, all different ages, butyou are like on the go, you're.
You're similar to us.
We're always on the go, alwaysdoing things.
What is the balance?
Look like?
What is your off?
You know season?
Look like.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Yeah, I feel like I've experienced motherhood and
like very drastic seasons, likebeing a mom and then being a
stay-at-home mom and then beinga working mom and being an
entrepreneur mom.
Like I feel like I'veExperienced it in so many
different seasons and a singlemom and now I'm a single mom,
(29:35):
Where's the manual?
But I feel like in this seasonof my life is different again
and being a single mom andnavigating my Presence and what
I'm supposed to do here, andWithout help it is impossible.
(29:56):
That's all I can say like.
I have a child as special needs.
Yeah, it would be impossible todo this alone.
Yeah, so I'm thankful thattheir dad is like, super present
and a great dad to them.
Like you know, he's veryhands-on, super involved, so
that's a help because I know alot of times single moms don't
even have that part of it.
(30:17):
So, like I always want to likehonor him for that part, because
he needs like they need theirdad and he's 100% there.
So that is super helpful.
And then I have Jordan, who'slike my fourth child.
She's grown but she's like mykid and she helps me and it's
like she just can help and Idon't even have to ask anything.
(30:40):
She can just sense, like evenif I'm having like a really bad
day, she just is like I alreadygot that, I already did this,
don't worry about that, I'mgonna go do this, I got this.
Da, da, da, da.
Do you need this?
Like she just can just sense,without me having to be like or
even breaking down.
I can still be actively doingsomething.
She's like, I'm like I'll dothat.
Speaker 2 (31:02):
You can go do this and I'll go.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
you know what I mean and so help you know what I mean
.
The village, the village.
And then, because I haven'talways been balanced, I feel
like I am an extremist, so Itend to either go all out I
don't know how to be halfway in,halfway out, or what that
balance sometimes is and I knowthat my children have sacrificed
(31:26):
a lot of me, because when I'mdedicated to something, I'm all
in, and so they've had tosacrifice so much of me, like
just their mom not being present, even being there, just not
being present.
You know what I mean.
What I'm trying to do now, withthis new season that I'm in, is
(31:49):
I try to be mindful.
Like, my office is attached tomy home but detached from my
home, and so I don't have a lockon it.
Don't just walk in my office.
You knock and I will grant youpermission, or I won't.
So it's boundaries for me forsure, but my youngest son comes
(32:10):
to my door often and he don't bewanting nothing.
Speaker 3 (32:13):
And I'd be in the middle of doing something, but
he wants me, and so sometimes Icaught my.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
recently, in the last couple of months, I would catch
myself being like what, whatyou know?
Like, oh, just hold on whatever.
And now I'm forcing myself toget up, open the door, hug him,
acknowledge him because he wantssomething.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
You know, and so even he's worth that two minutes.
Yeah, exactly, he's worth thatminute where before, I used to
be like I just got to get thisdone, or.
I got to do this and this andthis and this, and then he's
outside the door like, hey, it'sme, you're gay.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
Yeah, Noble started calling me out on that because I
had my phone and she's like Iknow you're working from your
phone, but I need you to put itdown because I want you to watch
this or whatever, and then, ifI don't put it down, she'll just
stare at me until.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
I put it down.
Speaker 3 (33:05):
Until you give me your food and she'll just then
teach you.
Speaker 1 (33:07):
But I love that.
Like.
Speaker 3 (33:08):
I like that for her, for who it'll be.
But it made me realize like shewas asking if she could help me
cook the other day, and usuallyit's my time to zone out or
whatever.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
So I prefer not to.
I don't want to be aninstructor right now, I don't, I
tell my kids.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
when I don't, I'm like, let's do that on the
weekend.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
Right now, we just need to get fed, but she's only
going to be there for a minute,right.
So I was like I just need toget that second, because when
you work from home, you work alot and it's hard to turn it off
and I'm like what's a couple ofminutes?
Speaker 2 (33:38):
even if it turns to 10?
Just cut this directly, becauseI also stay up until 3.
Speaker 3 (33:42):
AM so I can have a lot of alone time.
So I figure it out, yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:47):
It's just learning how to actually create the
balance, and sometimes I thinkwe're trying to find the balance
.
It's like you got to create it,create your balance, like my
balance is.
If I see my kids come to mydoor, I'm getting up and I'm
going to create a moment for uswhere at least he knows any time
I came to her door, she atleast got up and acknowledged me
(34:09):
Whether she did what I wantedher to do, because most of the
time it's like can come playbasketball with me.
Absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (34:15):
The answers don't know.
The answer is no, but you'regoing to get this hug.
But you're going to get thishug.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
I'm not going to play force with you.
I'm not playing Fortnite, I'mnot playing nothing.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
This ain't your moment, baby.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
No, sorry I'm not doing it, but you are worth this
moment of acknowledgement andlove because you have value and
nothing that I'm doing is moreimportant than you.
I've experienced the guiltbeing away, and then I've
experienced even being home, notdoing anything.
That guilt sits in, it's likegirl, you better get up.
(34:47):
You got these kids to feed.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
What are?
Speaker 1 (34:48):
you doing, just laying around?
You need to be kind.
I would bury myself in the mostunproductive works, just so
that I could not feel guiltythat I wasn't doing anything.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (35:02):
I'm trying to know what you mean.
There's so many women out therethat do that.
Speaker 3 (35:08):
Just to say, oh, now.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
I can check this off the list.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
So now I'm a good mom , or whatever.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
But I would tell anybody, any mom, what God
really impressed on me when Iwas asking him for some heavy
stuff to change in my life.
I need you to show up and dosomething.
I need the burning bushexperience.
I need something.
Speaker 3 (35:34):
I said that to God on the walk of it.
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
I need some like I need the real proof yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
I need to see.
Speaker 1 (35:41):
I need something big, and often, when I was in those
very desperate moments ofneeding God, he would tell me
the most basic instructionsClean your room, go play
basketball with Jonah Go sit onyour son's bed and talk to him.
It would be little things likethat.
It wouldn't be go move amountain, it would be go play
(36:03):
basketball with Jonah, go sit inyour kid's room for a little
bit and just spend time withthem.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
It's interesting and that would move things it would
lift this burden off of me.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
Even though it didn't fix my situation, it fixed my
posture and it fixed thepressure that I felt Like he
lifted it just by in the simpleinstruction of be a good steward
over when.
I gave you Yep, I gave youthose kids you so busy trying to
acquire all this other stuff,but I gave you that and they
need you.
Speaker 2 (36:33):
What would you say to a mom who is kind of in a
season where they are ready togive up on God because they
don't see Him moving?
They have a passion and they'relike, ok, I want to go after
this, but I'm not seeing anysigns that I can make this work.
And then I'm a mom yeah, whatam I supposed to do?
Speaker 1 (36:58):
What am I supposed to do?
I think the first, probablyreal, my real experience with
that, where I literallyquestioned God, was when my son
was diagnosed with autism andthen right after that, so the
next year, he was diagnosed withfragile X syndrome and so with
(37:20):
fragile X syndrome.
You all know that autism islike this big-.
Spectrum, it's a big spectrumand we all probably could fit on
that syndrome at some pointRight.
Fragrile X syndrome is wherethere's a dysfunction in the X
chromosome and so for boys theyonly have one X chromosome Right
.
So when there's a dysfunctionin that, there's no the Y
(37:40):
chromosome can't make up forthat dysfunction in the X
chromosome, so he doesn't havethe protein that produces brain
development which would make himmentally handicapped.
We didn't find that out untilafter we found out he was
autistic.
How old, wow.
So he was two when he gotdiagnosed with autism and then
three when he was diagnosed withfragile X syndrome.
Now, this was the only childthat I asked God for.
(38:03):
This was the only child that ittook time to get.
Like, I tried and tried andtried and could not get pregnant
and I wanted Caleb.
So, bad Like it was, I neverdesired anything.
It was literally like God, youtell me, whatever you tell me to
do, I'll do it just to havethis child.
And so, to have that child bethe one that's diagnosed with
(38:27):
these two things.
It brought this intense offensethat I had towards God.
Yeah, because I'm like, Iprayed to you.
I asked you for this kid.
You answered me and then yougave me this.
What's that about?
Like, why did you even say yesthen?
(38:48):
Yeah, you could have just saidno, right?
Like now I feel like you'replaying with me.
You're playing with me and Iremember having this
conversation with God and beingvery honest and it borderline
disrespectful, but it was veryhonest.
Sometimes you got me and I'mhaving this conversation and
Caleb's in my lap and he'shaving a hard time and I'm
(39:08):
rocking him and I'm just like,why, god, why, why, why?
And I remember him speaking tome very clearly and said why not
you?
Jeremiah 29 kept coming back,for I know the plans that I have
for you and so, although thingsmay not look like he's doing
anything, although it may not,nothing feels like it's
(39:32):
happening, he's not doinganything.
But if you decide to believe inhim, then you have to decide to
believe in him Even when youdon't see it, even when you
don't feel it.
And you have to know that.
You know that.
You know that he created youand he created those kids and in
that creation he gave you thegrace necessary to get through
(39:54):
whatever you needed to getthrough for the assignment that
he brought in your life.
So, when you don't see it, justknow he's working.
Speaker 3 (40:02):
He's doing something.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
You may not see it right now or ask yourself am I
looking for something specific?
Speaker 2 (40:10):
Because you might miss it looking for something
specific.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
I was looking for.
I had begged God.
This is just a quick examplethat I can think of.
I begged God, like God.
My son is not verbal, so I wasjust like God.
Please, I just want to hear hisvoice.
I just want to hear him saythat he loves me.
I just want to hear him talk.
I just want to hear.
If Caleb could just tell me heloves me, I would be so happy.
We go to a speech therapyappointment and Caleb has a
(40:35):
tablet that you can talk on andthey're working with him on this
thing and I'm out in the lobbyand I'm ready to go because I
have to go to work.
And so she brings him out, thetherapist brings him out and
she's so happy she's like oh myGod, we have something to show
you.
I'm like, all right girl, comeon.
I got to get to work what youneed to show me.
Come on, caleb.
And Caleb is kind of like beinga little funny.
(40:58):
He grabs the tablet and he saysI love you mom.
Speaker 3 (41:02):
I knew that was coming.
I'm so proud of him.
Speaker 1 (41:06):
And I was like, okay, let's go.
All right, caleb, get your bookbag.
That's so sweet, get your bookbag.
And then tomorrow dropped himoff at school and God chained,
checked me as soon as the doorshut.
As soon as Caleb got out, godsaid what was that?
You rejected the very thingthat I gave you because it
(41:28):
didn't come in the form that youasked for.
Yikes, you asked for Caleb tosay that he loves you and he
told you, but it came in throughthe tablet and not his vocal
cords.
So you rejected the very thingthat I gave you, my God.
And so a lot of times we thinkhe's not moving and he is moving
.
Speaker 3 (41:47):
And the thing is that seems so obvious.
It's like, oh my gosh, but wedo that all the time, so it's so
easy to be like girl.
How'd you miss that?
But?
Speaker 1 (41:54):
we do it every all the time.
Yeah well, I set the story upfor you, so of course you're
going to be like this is amazing, but when you're living in
every day, you're like get yourbook bag, You're not talking
Like I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (42:07):
You don't need to stop this.
Actually, I was cute.
Speaker 3 (42:09):
Let's go.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
But in that moment when God, literally like,
arrested me in that moment.
I was like, wow, you know whatGod?
You're right and the reverencethat we have to have when he
comes and does things for us andgrants those prayers.
(42:33):
We have to be on the lookoutfor them, even if it's not in
the specific package.
So just take your idea out andjust say God, whatever.
However, you can do this, thankyou.
Speaker 3 (42:47):
Yeah, one thing, you guys, jackie Hill Perry, when
she was on the podcast and shewas talking about she thinks
she's going to live a long timeand then was reminding basically
everybody like life is aboutlong suffering, like it's about
suffering, it's not about thishappiness and this feel good and
all this Like if Jesus suffered, why wouldn't we go through
(43:07):
stuff Like because life is abouta testimony, it's about helping
other people, it's aboutsharing God's name, and if you
don't go through anything likehow are you really going to talk
about the wonders and themiracles of God?
Speaker 1 (43:19):
Not only.
How are you going to be able totalk about it, how do you know
he exists there?
Yeah, like honestly, how do weknow God exists?
Speaker 2 (43:26):
Everything would be us.
If everything would be us,everything would be us.
And I think, even to put itinto a more practical standpoint
, y'all, especially the womenwho are like I have this dream,
I have this thing.
Or God, I'm asking you to dothis thing for me, pay this bill
for me, do this thing, and hegives you an idea, and you sit
(43:47):
on it yeah.
Sit.
Oh, we will sit, because you'llsit on it, which that's the
thing.
That's the jar with the oilthat could have paid not only
your debt but that you couldlive off of.
But it wasn't cute, but youdecide.
But it.
Oh, now I got to ask people forhelp.
Speaker 1 (44:03):
Yeah, I'll never forget Carlos from the 85s.
We were randomly having thisconversation and he said women
you know it's so funny Womentalk about, they want
consistency.
He was like, or they loveconsistency, they love
consistency.
He's like, but you ain'tconsistent with anything, you
just like the benefits ofsomeone being consistent with
(44:24):
you, but you don't really loveconsistency.
But I think that those are likequestions that we should really
ask.
Do I really want that?
Speaker 2 (44:31):
Or I just want the benefit.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
Yeah, I really want it.
I'm going to be prepared to dowhatever it takes to get that
thing done.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:38):
Period.
It's the top of the year, y'all.
Yeah, if this does not put any,you know, a little extra fire
in you like it should, because Ithink too much and we're, we're
good on our platform.
We always you were telling youyou're doing a good job and
we're telling you all the thingsthat encourage you.
Speaker 1 (44:55):
But one thing that.
Speaker 3 (44:56):
Blair and I wanted for this season.
Speaker 2 (44:58):
Blair said I'm going to be honest you may not be
doing good job.
We're actually good at a veryterrible job, but no one thing
we really wanted for this seasontruly is.
We wanted to be able to showyou guys that it's more than
just the fluff.
It's more like there's.
You have it in you, but we gotto get it out of you.
We can't continue to use ourkids as an excuse.
(45:18):
We can't continue to use thefact that we're burnt out
because we're not using our timewisely.
Speaker 1 (45:24):
Period yeah, yeah, the time, the obedience, and say
that word again yeah, it's likeyou.
Speaker 2 (45:30):
you don't have anxiety, you have a disobedience
.
Speaker 1 (45:34):
You're not depressed.
You're disobedient.
Yep, you're not broke.
You're disobedient.
Your kids aren't bad.
You're disobedient.
Speaker 2 (45:44):
We're not playing this season.
Speaker 1 (45:46):
No, no, because I think we have to have, I think
we have to have the realconversations because we are
fluffing.
Everything is fluff, fluff,fluff.
Speaker 3 (45:55):
Because everything is about feeling good.
You're great, you're the best.
Speaker 2 (45:59):
You're the trophy.
There's a moment for that,there is, there's a moment for
that, but it's like it's time,but that can't be the life like
push, you know, because it'sactually not a push, it's not
everything's good, everything'ssafe, everything's to make you
comfortable and to square, yeah,everything.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
Everything is about convenience, everything, and you
cannot.
You cannot possibly, which iswhy you can't live in both
worlds.
You have to either be in thekingdom or you have to be out,
because being in both, you can'tdo both.
Self-sacr I heard this quote.
Self-sacr Ices entry-levelChristianity.
Yeah, it's like you have to beprepared to be uncomfortable,
(46:35):
and if you're looking to feelgood and you're looking to feel
like comfortable, yeah, thatain't it.
Speaker 3 (46:43):
Good luck, yeah.
So that brings me to probablymy last question.
But like, okay, a lot haschanged.
You've been through some thingslike how do you feel right now?
Like where?
Speaker 2 (46:56):
are you when?
Speaker 3 (46:57):
are you in the midst of the wilderness?
Speaker 1 (47:00):
For sure the wilderness.
That's a hundred percentaccurate.
That's a great way to describeit.
I feel like the most importantthing right now for me is I've
been able to identify who myenemy is, and then I've been
able to identify who the enemyhas been using, and so I think
(47:24):
that I've have this ability andgift when it comes to awareness
and self-awareness and beingable to articulate certain
things.
That's probably the commondenominator people will say
about me your self-awareness andI used to carry that like a
very proud badge, because I feellike so many people aren't
self-aware.
Speaker 2 (47:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:45):
Like just recently it was like You're self-aware, and
I'm like, yeah, and he's likeso how come you don't see me the
way I see you?
Ah?
Speaker 3 (47:56):
I wasn't ready for that part.
Speaker 1 (47:58):
He was like.
So he was like you only see,you're aware of all the negative
things about you, but you'renot aware of anything positive.
So are you self-aware?
Why does the negative stuffstick so well?
I said well, if you wanted tojust read me for films, you
could have did that.
Speaker 3 (48:19):
You can hear something good about yourself.
Every day one person says onebad thing or one negative
thought, and that's it.
Speaker 1 (48:25):
It's because we don't know who our enemy is, and we
don't know that his goal andtactic is for us to not see
ourselves the way God sees us,and so that's why that negative
comment is going to stick out toyou more than positive comments
, because guess what the realityis.
You agree with it.
Speaker 2 (48:44):
The reality is you agree with it.
You agree with it and that'swhy you're focused on it.
You can't agree with it.
Speaker 1 (48:48):
That is his tactic and his goal.
He wants us to not seeourselves the way that God sees
us, because he knows he willnever be seen the way that God
sees us.
Yeah, he hates that.
That's his whole thing.
We have to learn how to seeourselves the way God sees us.
And when I say me, I am thechief of these who doesn't see
(49:12):
anything positive about myselfever.
That's a problem.
And in doing that, you'retraining yourself to agree with
a lie, Because every thought isnot your own and every thought
isn't God's.
So now, when the enemy comes inand plants a thought.
You are tipped because that'syour pattern.
Now You're coming intoagreement with a lie.
(49:34):
You're not worthy.
You know I'm not, I guess,because I've done this, I've
done that and I've been divorcedand I had sex out of wedlock
and maybe I slept with that guyand I shouldn't have and I got
fired from this job and I didn'tdo this right.
Those are all facts.
The enemy is the accuser of thebrother.
That's a fact.
(49:54):
Maybe you are divorced, but thetruth is that if you are in
Christ, you are a new creature.
Old things are passed away, buthold on, I've made something
new.
That's the truth.
The fact is, yes, you'redivorced, but the truth is that
before you were ever placed inthe motherhood, in your mother's
womb, he knew you, he informedyou and gave you the grace that
(50:16):
you need for everything thatyou've been sent out to do, and
nothing is a surprise to him.
Speaker 2 (50:22):
I love that you said that, and the last thing that
I'm going to ask you, he'ssaying the last thing that I'm
going to ask.
Speaker 3 (50:27):
No, I said last, you didn't have that.
Speaker 2 (50:28):
I said my last, my last thing that I'm going to ask
is what do you think momsactually need to hear right now?
Speaker 1 (50:38):
Man.
I think moms need to hear thatwhat's done in secret will come
to light, right, and that I knowit feels like no one sees how
great you are, no one sees howhard you work or no one sees how
much you really do, becauseit's expected for you to just do
(50:59):
it.
But he sees it all and there isa great treasure that is
waiting for you, because youhave been obedient to the most
important call that anybodycould ever say yes to Saying yes
and answering the call to be amother.
God has entrusted you with alife that he has a specific plan
(51:22):
for to touch other people like.
He entrusted you with aministry that's going to set
generations free.
He trusted you with this giftof life that is going to do so
much for so many other people.
You're doing something that isway bigger than what you will
ever see on social media TikTok,instagram.
(51:44):
Whatever the case may be, whatyou are doing is important, no
matter who sees it, who applaudsit.
God honors it.
He's looking at you, smiling andhonoring your obedience to that
ministry of your children, andjust know that he sees you and
he hears you, and when you're inthe closet crying, and when
(52:05):
you're in the shower crying, andwhen you don't feel like you've
done enough and when you feellike you've the worst mom ever
right, he sees you and he knowsyour heart.
Just keep loving those kids,keep loving God, keep being
honest with him and I promiseyou, I promise you, what's done
in this secret will always berevealed in the light.
Speaker 2 (52:26):
Thank you for your vulnerability, thanks for
inviting me and thank you foryour yes for coming and doing
this with us.
Speaker 1 (52:31):
Thank you, thank you for my gifts.
My gifts were amazing.
Speaker 3 (52:34):
We try to treat people right.
I love my gifts.
Speaker 1 (52:38):
I'm big on hospitality.
Speaker 2 (52:41):
I appreciate that.
Well, I'll help you fill up.
Yes, this is amazing.
Speaker 1 (52:44):
Your team, everybody.
I mean your hospitality team,assistants, makeup, hair,
everybody is just amazing.
Speaker 3 (52:50):
Wow, we love them.
Thank you.
You guys are a little summercamp family.
Speaker 2 (52:54):
Yes, yes, we love our family.
I love it.
But you guys thank you so muchfor watching us.
Thank y'all for tuning in.
I hope and pray.
I know that you were blessed.
I wish you guys shared thiswith someone else and yeah,
that's it.
Thank you again.
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
(53:15):
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, hey mom.
God said what was that?
You rejected the very thingthat I gave you because it
didn't come in the form that youasked for.
What's up, hey Mom?
What's?
Speaker 2 (00:11):
up.
Hey Mom, what's up?
Hey Mom, what's up.
Hey Mom, welcome to Mom's.
Actually, my name is Morgan andI'm Blair and we have Megan
Ashley.
What, how, I don't know, god, Idon't know.
I guess this is crazy, but weare so grateful that you are
(00:32):
here.
Thank you so much for coming tojust hang with us.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Yes, I mean, who wouldn't want to hang out here?
I got set up pretty nice,pretty nice.
It's a little bit Very nice.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Now we want you to introduce yourself.
Tell the people I know, thepeople know who you are.
Yeah, but for the one, okay.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Just you know, my name is Megan Ashley.
I am a I guess, a contentcreator.
I am a lover of Christ, I'm amom and I have some amazing kids
, and I am, yeah, I guess my jobis to share my journey.
Yeah, so that's what I'm doing.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
I love that.
Yeah, well, welcome back.
Like I said, we are reallyexcited to just get right into
the episode, but we always giveyou guys a little moment to do
something very important.
Yes, if you don't know whatthat very important thing is.
I want you to tell them.
Blair, Press that button.
Subscribe.
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Subscribe.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Please, yeah, all right.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
Cool.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Now let's get into some really good conversation.
But before we get into theconversation, before we start,
just, you know, ask you all thequestions again in your business
.
We like to just do a little bitof something.
So these paddles here are herefor a reason.
They are what, what do?
Speaker 3 (01:41):
we do.
We're going to play a littlegame.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
So that you know we can get comfortable icebreaker
kind of thing.
So it's called it's givingmotherhood.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
And so we're going to ask you some yes or no
questions.
We are going to ask you someeither or questions.
The gold is yes for the firstoption, the white is no or the
second option Got it Okay.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Ready?
Yes, right now.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
Got it Okay.
Question number one have youever felt judged for your
parenting style?
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Oh, for sure.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Oh, for sure, 100%.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Like does every Probably yes.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
But it's like, always for different reasons, which is
why nobody?
Can win.
Like I travel a lot, so peoplewill be like you know you never
home with your kids or somethinglike that.
You never go home all the time.
Why don't you go out and get alife Like you?
Speaker 2 (02:26):
can't win.
Yeah, I feel like I was judgedthe most or I felt the more
judgment when I was younger.
That's going to say for beingan almost teen mom yeah, Almost
teen mom.
So I was 20 when I had Laylaand I feel like everybody will
always just try to tell me whatto do, Like I did, like the
simple things that you knowmom's.
The intuition just kind ofkicks in, Even if you don't all
the way know what you're doing.
(02:47):
It was just always like oh yousure, you you know or you better
make sure you know you don'thave to be like oh I'm going to
get out of bed and I'm like guys.
I.
I know yeah, this is mydaughter.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
I'm not going to let her, you know, be out here.
It's, it's the, you know, sixin one hand, half a dozen
another.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
You want the help but you don't want the overbearing
yes, opinions.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
And it's like if I ask you for help, give it to me.
Yes, if I don't ask, then don'tdo it to yourself.
Please Leave it to yourself.
I'm trying.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
Did you always want kids?
Yes, yes, no.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
We know your story.
Yeah, I was like I'll startwith the yeses.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Yeah, I always wanted kids Ever since I was young.
That was like the only or oneof the things that my mom said I
used to say all the time, likeI couldn't wait to be a wife of
my mom.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
That's an open.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Yeah, I just always, but I was always good with kids
too, ever since at a young age Iwas always the one that had all
the little babies at church,you know, with me.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
So I was like, Did you have a number you knew you
wanted like four or five or two,I think when I was young, I
wanted to have as many as Icould.
Speaker 3 (03:54):
Yeah, and then when I got older, because that doesn't
mean anything to your body,yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
And that child's like oh, this is what happens when I
have kids.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Because I'm my mom's only child, so I'm just raised
like I'm the only child.
So I think you're kind of theonly child.
You kind of always desire a bigfamily big siblings.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
She's like no, I was like.
Yeah, no, I was like what Ijust said.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
yes, you're like, I like this by myself.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
I wasn't the extroverted only like the one
who liked to be out aroundpeople, but my parents also
didn't have friends, so I justgrew up in a very like silent
like style.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
OK In general.
No cousins, no nothing.
We had a lot of like, everybodywas like.
My mom had a lot of friends andthey became family.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
You guys were the house.
Yeah, you had all the aunties,yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Like all the you know .
So I just always wanted a bigfamily at a young age that makes
sense.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Yeah, ok, you wanted the kids too.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Yeah, I thought I wanted at least four or five,
and then I realized quickly.
I mean instantly, like as quickas I did not back is how
quickly I knew that I did notwant that many.
For sure, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
And you have.
Yours are around the same age,I think, as mine 11, 7 and 5.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
Yeah, and I have 13, 10 and 9.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Yep, and so, when they're little like that, at the
same time them two and diapers.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
That's what actually made me potty train my middle
quicker.
That's what I mean, because assoon as my son came and they
were both in there I said, oh no.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
Mine went hooked at the same time.
Yeah, we're not doing that,because I wanted my kids close
together.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
Yeah, I got a one-to-one plans too.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
I was like I'll pay for it up front for it.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Oh, you definitely will pay for it.
Yeah, and it was, and it wasyeah 100%.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
But no, I didn't want any.
I knew how much responsibilityit was Like I knew it was going
to be work and I didn't want todo it Like think about your only
child.
I've never had to reallyconsider anybody else.
I knew that about myself.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
You're like no, I don't want to.
I love that you're self-awareand have to know that yes, very.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Because, I think naive is the other side.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
You jump into it thinking it's going to be like
oh, because it's something I'vealways wanted.
And then it's like, yeah, no.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
I know I'm giving because I want to be.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
When you have kids.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
It's not a choice.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Yeah, no, it's not a choice at all Having to become a
morning person.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
Yeah, I didn't.
The two things I did not wantto take my kids to the bus stop
early in the morning, yeah, andI did not want to do car seats
in the rain.
That makes sense.
I was very like, very specific,so you already had that in your
mind before you evenexperienced it.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
You were like I don't want to do that, I don't want
to do.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
That I understand and that is motherhood, that's OK,
yeah.
That's motherhood.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
You have to do a bunch of stuff that you don't
want to A bunch of stuff youdon't want to but do you feel
like because you realized thatupfront and made you more
prepared going into motherhood.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
Because you already like I feel like you were
already assessing out all thethings that you didn't want to
do.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
I would say the only reason it didn't.
So my birth control failed andthat's a whole story.
And then I think when I hadthem I had postpartum anxiety,
so that kind of threw me off.
Otherwise I thought I wasprepared for it, only because
I'm very analytical andstrategic and prepared.
So I'm like, oh, I can do thisif I do it like this.
But then the postpartum anxietyjust kind of threw me off and I
(07:00):
realized as a person who neverneeded help.
I can figure out how to doanything, like I can zip my
dress up if I have to I can doall the things.
And then I realized, oh, I needhelp.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
And that was a weird thing to need help.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
It's have to ask for help.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Yeah, especially when it's for you.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
Yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Because I'll help anybody.
I identify with that a lot forsure.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
So do you feel like the expectations of mothers are
unrealistic?
Absolutely, I'm like, is this aquestion?
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Yeah, I feel like the world forgets that we are women
.
The world forgets that we arehuman.
Yeah, like point, like a period, but I said woman first,
because once you become a mom,it's like you are a mom.
It takes away all the otherthings.
We don't have any other issues.
And I feel like you say it allthe time.
(07:48):
You didn't realize your mom wasa woman until you were older.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Have you ever thought about that, like when you were
asking for things as a teenager?
A little kid like your mommight have been going through it
with her best friend or herhusband or whatever, yeah.
Like I've never considered thatuntil like a year or two ago.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Until you actually go through things as a woman.
I mean, I've been going throughstuff before that.
And I still didn't think aboutit.
What do you think?
What was it that made you?
Speaker 3 (08:12):
I have no Maybe we were, I think, this platform
because we're focused more onthe women.
So I started thinking moreabout it and I was like man my
mom probably- was going through.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:22):
And because now she tries to talk to me more and I'm
like man you were probably like, and I'm complaining about
going to a party.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
And you're like I just fought with my mom or I
didn't take the chicken out.
Yeah, chicken out the freezer.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
But I realize that's a thing now.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Oh, it really is.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
No, but I think.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
I shouldn't have took the meat out the freezer.
Yeah, but it's awful howsociety treats us at times.
And then even just like evenrelationships, and there's just
so much.
Yeah, we get the short end ofthe stick.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Yeah, I think that that's a thing that we see a lot
is this yearning for identitywith women and because when we
get married, we lose our lastnames.
When we have kids, we lose ourfirst names.
You know what I'm saying, soyou, lose your identity.
I lost my last name, I lose myfirst name.
(09:13):
Who am I now?
And I think that people don'tconsider the impact that just
life has on a woman, becausethere's so much of us that we
have to serve all the time in somany capacities, in so many
ways, and that identity thing islost.
(09:36):
Yeah, and I think that that'sthe thing that we're really
searching for, that we can't.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
Especially since most of us don't find our identity
before marriage and kids Becausewe're so focused on trying to
get married to kids.
So you do whatever you have todo and to come wherever you have
to become to get the thing thatyou think you want, and then
you have no foundation to reston when things happen.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
It's like, hey, now I've got to find who I am
amongst all this stuff, which iswhy, when post-partum
depression comes in, it's thatgrounding and reality that you
still have to be taken care of.
You are still a person and youhave to figure out who you are,
and it's not predicated on youbeing a mom and you being a wife
(10:18):
, because those things clearlydidn't sustain you when you were
going through post-partumdepression.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
No, I could functionally do things, but I
didn't have a grounding in that.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
It didn't give you the solution.
It wasn't the medicine to fixit.
Exactly.
Obviously, you love your familyBecause, as moms, we can get on
the soapbox.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
So do you even like your kids?
Yeah, you got to go with them,but I love my kids.
It's like you have to say thata lot less.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Because, people will look at you like, but it's like
how we will get anywhere ifwe're not being honest with them
.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Right, and that is, I think that's what made me talk
so much about self-care nowbecause of the fact that when I
went through post-partumdepression so bad I realized I
was like none of that low, cutestuff works.
I have to look within andfigure out what is going,
because a lot of the times thedepression and all that stuff
that does happen post-partum isalready a thing.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Whether or not you tag on anxiety or a person on
top of it, it's already a thing.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
So once I realized that and all these things were
coming up, I was like, OK, Ineed to deal with these things
and it's going to take more thana massage and nine times out of
10, it has nothing to do withyour children.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
No, oh no, it's like.
All the stuff that you avoidedleading to this point is now the
thing that you have to like.
You can't escape you, and Ithink that that's the thing that
I would want moms to know, orpeople to know in general.
You can't escape you.
You're always going to findyourself.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Look at you jumping ahead.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
I'm sorry, no, no, you go, but I'm just like that
is a thing that I'm like, andmaybe because I'm in this season
, so y'all are getting a realRaw version of me.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
That's what we're here for, so you're getting a
real.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Raw version of me, but it's like you can't escape
you, no matter where you turnyou will always find yourself.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
You can fake it for everybody else.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
You know what I mean.
And so if you don't addressthose things, it's a rude
awakening.
It's a rude awakening and thenyou realize, like, did I go
after these things with thepurest intent?
Yeah, that's true.
Now I'm a mom and I'm a wifeand I'm not happy.
Speaker 3 (12:30):
That's right, and you know how, when you're young,
everybody tells you enjoy yoursingle season.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
You're like yeah, yeah, yeah, but now we get it
Listen.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
It's like enjoy your single season.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Like enjoy it, Not only just enjoy it but take it,
be a good steward over yourseason, yes, over your life,
because you are going to findyourself in a position that you
haven't even prepared yourselfto be.
Yeah, at all.
You so busy wanting to be awife and a mom and you have done
(13:02):
nothing, nothing.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
To address you Nothing.
And you wonder why you're nothappy.
Got all the things you werechasing you supposed to come in
whole Think about what you like.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Think about what you like.
No.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
That whole.
You complete me.
No, that whole, you mightbetter have no Recipe for
failure.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
No, because what happens, not even if it's a
person, she's like you want it,I have to give up.
Not if it's a person leaves you, but if the person it becomes
sick and becomes a vegetable,then what?
Then what?
Then what?
Now you've got to be acaretaker and you're taking care
of the person that you neededthe most.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
That's true and people change, Like in seasons.
In marriage you're not the samepeople.
So whatever they gave you inthe first two years, they might
not give you in the next twoyears.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
So you're leaving yourself open to be filled
completely by somebody who hasevery possibility of changing.
Yeah, like people don't.
I tell people this all the timebecause I've been married and
I'm no longer married.
So I feel like when you gothrough a divorce, you kind of
have some wisdom that otherpeople don't have right, and I
(14:10):
think that it's extremelyimportant to know that when you
are saying yes to somebody I'mgoing to get married to somebody
that you are saying yes to thepossibilities of a person.
I am not just saying yes to whoyou are right now, I'm saying
yes to who you could possibly be.
(14:31):
And not only am I saying yes toyou and your possibilities, but
I'm saying that I'm going tocommit myself to you through all
of those possibilities.
And we don't take that inconsideration, which is why you
see divorce happen like this.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
Oh no, I tell people marry them, assuming they'll
never change.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
Assume they and soon nothing will get better.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
Yeah, the worst thing about them.
Imagine it's going to stay,because we are like, oh,
wouldn't we get married?
Or when they get a little bitlike we put all these
expectations and then they'rethe same person and disappointed
.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Or women, and I've been guilty of this too.
I'll say this I am going tojust say I've been guilty of it,
but like wanting to be marriedso bad, or wanting that thing so
bad, wanting the baby so bad,wanting the marriage so bad, or
whatever, that you're willing tobecome not your authentic self
(15:23):
to gain those things.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
So then, when your authentic self shows up, and
what you got, Now you're thecrazy one, you crazy that's why,
I say show your crazy up,friend, don't be the cool girl.
Go to Vegas.
Boo, it's okay, have fun, dothis Like we are so malleable
and flexible so that someonewill love us, or like us and
(15:47):
then eventually you got to beyourself or whoever your
fallback is, because most of thetime we don't know who we are.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
Well, you have to also ask yourself do I like me?
Yeah, Do I even like myself?
Speaker 2 (16:02):
And we don't always like myself and I say I get on
my last nerve.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
On a regular, I am on my own nerves all the time.
What is going on?
So I get you know what I'msaying Until I get on my nerves.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
So I can only imagine the people in my life.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
If I were to ever get married again, I would never
enter in that space withoutfully knowing who I am and fully
having an identity of makingNot making as a mom, not making
as a content person, not makingas a whatever.
Who am I Just on my own?
(16:41):
Do I even like myself?
Do I even like?
Do I respect myself?
Do I respect my decisions?
I think would save, andaddressing those questions would
save, a lot of people from alot of heartache.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
Okay, do you take time for self care that isn't
tied to regular life maintenance, like your nails maintenance,
showers maintenance, somemassage maintenance?
Speaker 1 (17:07):
And I'm going to be honest because I actually saw
something about that not toolong ago, when they were like
self care is not taking a shower.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Self care is not, you know getting your nails done or
getting your hair done.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
That's not self care, that's just life maintenance.
That's adulting.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
You get back home and you're still the same person.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
So it's not self care .
Speaker 3 (17:27):
It's self care is supposed to actually like
transform.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
I call it soul care.
How are you caring for your?
Speaker 1 (17:31):
soul, Well I guess, I would just like this is real
time happening.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
I'm like hmm how do I ?
Speaker 1 (17:38):
well, I guess if it's , if self care is soul care,
then I would say, like the timethat I spend with God would be
like my self care, yeah, so Iguess I would say that Just
stuff like that even sharingCause I was like mom's.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
actually it's work, but it's my self care.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
What I do.
It transforms me, it opens mymind to things that mean people.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
It's transforming me.
It's taking care of me so I canbe better as a person yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
And all the roles that you have to play in your
life, for sure yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
I would say I definitely y'all know me either.
Y'all know me, I'm pro selfcare, soul care, because I
realized that I cannot, I justcannot do without.
I just I live too many I have,I play too many roles, I wear
too many hats and I have foundmyself in the darkest of moments
(18:28):
that I'm like, if I don't dothis, I will indeed be crazy, or
I just won't go forward, likeforward and live to my fullest
potential, and everyone is goingto not benefit in a good way,
like everybody is going to toreally, really, I'm going to
bleed all over essentiallythey're going to suffer and I
don't want to do that Especiallynot over people that I really
(18:50):
love and care about.
I just know what me not caringfor myself looks like yeah.
And that's why nails can't doit, the nails can't do it.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
They look cute y'all.
And I understand everybody.
Can't.
People think because they can'tafford it's a special money
spend Sometimes they think it'sself care.
So no, it's still maintenance.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Yeah, yeah, and I understand that you're going
into those spaces like Not even,at least I'm gonna get off my
phone.
Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,allow this pedicure.
Maybe this is the only.
Speaker 2 (19:22):
Yes, I can do, but I'm gonna allow this here, to
sit here, not gonna be on myphone.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
I'm going to control my thoughts.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
I'm actually gonna think about what I'm thinking
about.
I'm gonna actually takeinventory of my life right now.
Yes, cuz this is the time Ihave to do it.
So if you do have, if, pedicureis that yeah, just take full
advantage.
Yeah, if the shower is all, youcan do that take full advantage
of those.
Moments, cuz I know how it isas a mom.
(19:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
I'm that shower is all you got the car ride, the
car ride home from work.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Mm-hmm you, I still utilize those moments, me too.
That's my favorite.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
Oh, I usually numb out those I like disappear in
those moments.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
Yeah, like I don't know.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
I am.
See my brain in those moments.
I don't want to think about.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
I talk to myself, I talk to God, but it's just that
Taking that I knew that I neededthat time when I used to work
and I was working like a nine tofive, I know needed that time
from that environment beforestepping into mom, environment,
clock it in.
I needed that in between now tobe like okay, let's have a
(20:28):
Megan moment.
Speaker 3 (20:29):
Yes, let's just be Megan for a second.
Yeah, Megan moment.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Let let me just be a Megan moment, for a minute yeah.
But yeah, I just taking thosemoments to just be Not a mom,
yeah, not a wife, not anemployee, not an entrepreneur
yeah, take a moment.
And just who?
Who are you?
Speaker 2 (20:52):
What are you feeling right now?
Yeah, that's a good point.
I'm glad you said that becausewe hear all the time, especially
the single moms.
They're like I don't have thetime to do all that I don't have
.
I'm like sometimes the gym likeand it's not the gym, and it's
me literally right before I goto bed putting on a YouTube Like
little five to ten minute atworkout or something, and then
(21:14):
finishing with a bedtime yoga,like that's my moment, that's it
, but they got stretches frombed.
Speaker 3 (21:25):
They got workouts or work like they have that's,
that's there's, yeah, there'sways.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
Yeah, there's a way.
Yeah, that's the thing they'rewe learned yesterday.
No excuse, yeah, there's not it.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Sometimes it's not that you don't have time, it's
just that you're not organized.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
Yeah, not organize or not organize your time.
You know you don't really wantit, you don't want, you don't
want to do it, because if youwant to do something, you'll do
it.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
I don't want to work out yeah, ever yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
which is why I don't yeah, Cuz I don't want to do.
I have equipment in my garage.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
Don't get touched it won't.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Just go do it.
You didn't got it in your house.
You don't even gotta go nowhere.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
Someone's got to like go with me, because I don't
want to do it Well, cuz I madefriends at the gym, so now I
feel like if I don't go, therelike.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Show up.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Yeah, but I have to be held accountable things I
don't want to do by somebodyelse.
Yeah, I'm the same, I'm gonnado it.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
Okay, have you ever caught yourself saying phrases
your own parents used to say?
Yes, you don't even know what aheadache is yeah.
Speaker 3 (22:31):
Yeah, I used to get so offended because I had
headaches, but now, like I thinkfive years ago, I realized they
meant like life, yeah you everbeen through life to have a
headache.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
Yeah yeah like you're sick and you laugh a little bit
and oh, you're not sick, nomore.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:47):
Something was just funny.
Yeah, I still have strep throat.
Yeah, something was just funny.
Like I'm not immune to laughing, yeah, but that's how mama, I
mean, I get it.
That's how parents especiallyblack parents.
Yeah, you find we, I'm not fine.
I'm not sure is a hundred andfive.
I'm not fine and ginger ale isnot gonna do it water.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
I'd like to drink some water.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
I had the mama that, like when I had pink eye, I
would go to bed Right, I wouldopen my eyes, I would see clear,
will close my eyes, go sleep, Iwould open them up and it was
olive oil because she hasanointed my.
I said so.
Not only do I have pink eye,knock, I got olive all of my
eyes, but now you're adding onto some sort of infection With
(23:34):
all of a simple prayer.
Would have survived, I'm sureGod would have done it.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
Yeah, my kids can be sick and I'm like we still
haven't schooled their homes.
Good, I'm like we still haven'tschool.
There's not she don't play.
I'm like you're still doingwhatever you guys need to do.
They got the timer on.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
I always tell them they are fine.
I be feeling so bad from um no.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
Unless something's really happening.
I just don't like.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
I'm just like it's really happening.
Speaker 3 (23:59):
I just believe words matter and excuses and I'm just
like I don't know if they'rereally sick.
Yeah, maybe or maybe I missedit yeah but, I'm like let's go.
During COVID we started that Ifound a girl who was in school
to be a teacher online and shecame and she's been with us for
two years.
Yeah, my daughter really is.
I feel bad, though I feel likeit puts her to deficit in life.
So she's Mensa, she's, she's agenius because she has like I
(24:22):
think it's because she hashigher than level like
comprehension Mm-hmm.
She's not like the kids onEllen where I'm like gonna name
every single country or whatever, but once people know you're
like Smart or genius, I feellike it's like I'll be like no,
well, what's six times three?
She'll be like elephant.
I'm like see you making me looklike an idiot.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
I Feel like there's so much pressure once you're
supposed to be smart, yeah, andso I've been working on being
like you're a hard worker,you're all this other stuff, not
you're smart or not.
Speaker 3 (24:46):
You're this okay.
Would you go back and changeOne thing, anything, and you
could still get.
How about this?
Because people are like, oh, Istill want to be where I am
today.
Mm-hmm, you can change onething and still be where you are
today, would you?
Speaker 1 (25:00):
oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
I would, but there's a few things.
It's just like more than onedodged.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
You know, would you guys change anything if it
changed for you, where you don'tknow if you'd be here or not?
Speaker 2 (25:10):
Oh, I, know for sure if I would have never met this
person that I would still behere, Sorry.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
I don't know what to do after that.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
I mean, yeah, there's definitely like Little nuances
in my life that I'm like.
My life would probably still bethe same.
You were unnecessary you know,yeah, like but then again it's
like you don't know, you know soevery, would you risk it all?
Yeah, it's like I think,whatever if I could change
(25:45):
anything, as long as I have whatI have with God right now, yeah
, that's the only thing that I'mlike, as long as that doesn't
change, that's the mostimportant thing.
And, being where I'm at, I knowthat so many of the stuff that
was painful led me to this point, yeah, which is why it would be
hard to be like dang.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
I wish I didn't happen, but that led me here.
Speaker 3 (26:05):
Yeah, yeah, what about you?
B Anything before the lastdecade?
I might like risk it, but likethe last decade has been like
the most transformative I've had, so it's like I wouldn't change
anything.
Good, bad ugly about the lastdecade.
But like before that, like man,if I could get away from some
of that and still have gotten tothe last decade.
Then, yeah, yeah, I don'thundred percent change some
(26:25):
things, because life was life.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
All right, girls night in or girls night out,
girls night in.
Speaker 3 (26:36):
Girls night out while in?
Okay, yeah, I want to gosomewhere.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
And then come back to the house.
Yeah, like some middle, I'mwith you on the middle.
Yeah cuz I, I like being ableto get dressed up and you know,
yeah, really let my hair down,but then I want to come back to
the house and chill.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
Yeah, I like a dinner and yeah.
Is that the house.
Yeah that's like let's go dressup me to do dinner, yes, and
then let's come back to that.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
Have you ever used your kids as an excuse to why
you can't show up to?
Speaker 1 (27:16):
But it's still the truth, but yeah yeah, it's like
yeah, I have kids, so I can't.
I can't make it.
It's not as easy.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
Now we have really gotten into Conversation, so
it's been great cuz we alreadylike here.
But I do want to ask you, asyou have continued to grow your
career and being a mom and allthe things, and you're just out
there, yeah, right now Out outthere, um, is there anything
that you don't often get to talkabout, that you're like you
(27:48):
know what I Want, megan?
Speaker 1 (27:50):
to talk about this more.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
I want people to hear this from Megan.
Is there anything like that?
I feel like I'm.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
I have been feeling lately that I'm super redundant,
like I said some of the samethings, or, as I'm 33 and I've
I've experienced a lot, but likethe major points in my life,
like my son having autism orbeing pregnant at 19, like these
are things that people knowthat are out there.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
Yeah, like I got pregnant at 19.
We'll see.
That shows you you feelredundant.
But there's Marketing.
You got to say something.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
I think three to six times yeah so sometimes I'm like
, when you ask me, I'm like Idon't know what I don't get to
talk about, because I feel likeI've had the opportunity to kind
of say everything.
But probably, like, motherhoodis Something I don't think I've
been able to really dive a lotinto, which is why I was really
(28:44):
excited to come to come here,because you know, I have three
boys, yeah, you know, andthey're, they're everything.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
I will say, when I look at like your profile and
I've been following you for alittle bit I'm like how does she
do the boy mom thing?
Mm-hmm, all different ages, butyou are like on the go, you're.
You're similar to us.
We're always on the go, alwaysdoing things.
What is the balance?
Look like?
What is your off?
You know season?
Look like.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Yeah, I feel like I've experienced motherhood and
like very drastic seasons, likebeing a mom and then being a
stay-at-home mom and then beinga working mom and being an
entrepreneur mom.
Like I feel like I'veExperienced it in so many
different seasons and a singlemom and now I'm a single mom,
(29:35):
Where's the manual?
But I feel like in this seasonof my life is different again
and being a single mom andnavigating my Presence and what
I'm supposed to do here, andWithout help it is impossible.
(29:56):
That's all I can say like.
I have a child as special needs.
Yeah, it would be impossible todo this alone.
Yeah, so I'm thankful thattheir dad is like, super present
and a great dad to them.
Like you know, he's veryhands-on, super involved, so
that's a help because I know alot of times single moms don't
even have that part of it.
(30:17):
So, like I always want to likehonor him for that part, because
he needs like they need theirdad and he's 100% there.
So that is super helpful.
And then I have Jordan, who'slike my fourth child.
She's grown but she's like mykid and she helps me and it's
like she just can help and Idon't even have to ask anything.
(30:40):
She can just sense, like evenif I'm having like a really bad
day, she just is like I alreadygot that, I already did this,
don't worry about that, I'mgonna go do this, I got this.
Da, da, da, da.
Do you need this?
Like she just can just sense,without me having to be like or
even breaking down.
I can still be actively doingsomething.
She's like, I'm like I'll dothat.
Speaker 2 (31:02):
You can go do this and I'll go.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
you know what I mean and so help you know what I mean
.
The village, the village.
And then, because I haven'talways been balanced, I feel
like I am an extremist, so Itend to either go all out I
don't know how to be halfway in,halfway out, or what that
balance sometimes is and I knowthat my children have sacrificed
(31:26):
a lot of me, because when I'mdedicated to something, I'm all
in, and so they've had tosacrifice so much of me, like
just their mom not being present, even being there, just not
being present.
You know what I mean.
What I'm trying to do now, withthis new season that I'm in, is
(31:49):
I try to be mindful.
Like, my office is attached tomy home but detached from my
home, and so I don't have a lockon it.
Don't just walk in my office.
You knock and I will grant youpermission, or I won't.
So it's boundaries for me forsure, but my youngest son comes
(32:10):
to my door often and he don't bewanting nothing.
Speaker 3 (32:13):
And I'd be in the middle of doing something, but
he wants me, and so sometimes Icaught my.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
recently, in the last couple of months, I would catch
myself being like what, whatyou know?
Like, oh, just hold on whatever.
And now I'm forcing myself toget up, open the door, hug him,
acknowledge him because he wantssomething.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
You know, and so even he's worth that two minutes.
Yeah, exactly, he's worth thatminute where before, I used to
be like I just got to get thisdone, or.
I got to do this and this andthis and this, and then he's
outside the door like, hey, it'sme, you're gay.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
Yeah, Noble started calling me out on that because I
had my phone and she's like Iknow you're working from your
phone, but I need you to put itdown because I want you to watch
this or whatever, and then, ifI don't put it down, she'll just
stare at me until.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
I put it down.
Speaker 3 (33:05):
Until you give me your food and she'll just then
teach you.
Speaker 1 (33:07):
But I love that.
Like.
Speaker 3 (33:08):
I like that for her, for who it'll be.
But it made me realize like shewas asking if she could help me
cook the other day, and usuallyit's my time to zone out or
whatever.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
So I prefer not to.
I don't want to be aninstructor right now, I don't, I
tell my kids.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
when I don't, I'm like, let's do that on the
weekend.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
Right now, we just need to get fed, but she's only
going to be there for a minute,right.
So I was like I just need toget that second, because when
you work from home, you work alot and it's hard to turn it off
and I'm like what's a couple ofminutes?
Speaker 2 (33:38):
even if it turns to 10?
Just cut this directly, becauseI also stay up until 3.
Speaker 3 (33:42):
AM so I can have a lot of alone time.
So I figure it out, yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:47):
It's just learning how to actually create the
balance, and sometimes I thinkwe're trying to find the balance
.
It's like you got to create it,create your balance, like my
balance is.
If I see my kids come to mydoor, I'm getting up and I'm
going to create a moment for uswhere at least he knows any time
I came to her door, she atleast got up and acknowledged me
(34:09):
Whether she did what I wantedher to do, because most of the
time it's like can come playbasketball with me.
Absolutely not.
Speaker 2 (34:15):
The answers don't know.
The answer is no, but you'regoing to get this hug.
But you're going to get thishug.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
I'm not going to play force with you.
I'm not playing Fortnite, I'mnot playing nothing.
Speaker 3 (34:24):
This ain't your moment, baby.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
No, sorry I'm not doing it, but you are worth this
moment of acknowledgement andlove because you have value and
nothing that I'm doing is moreimportant than you.
I've experienced the guiltbeing away, and then I've
experienced even being home, notdoing anything.
That guilt sits in, it's likegirl, you better get up.
(34:47):
You got these kids to feed.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
What are?
Speaker 1 (34:48):
you doing, just laying around?
You need to be kind.
I would bury myself in the mostunproductive works, just so
that I could not feel guiltythat I wasn't doing anything.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 2 (35:02):
I'm trying to know what you mean.
There's so many women out therethat do that.
Speaker 3 (35:08):
Just to say, oh, now.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
I can check this off the list.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
So now I'm a good mom , or whatever.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
But I would tell anybody, any mom, what God
really impressed on me when Iwas asking him for some heavy
stuff to change in my life.
I need you to show up and dosomething.
I need the burning bushexperience.
I need something.
Speaker 3 (35:34):
I said that to God on the walk of it.
You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
I need some like I need the real proof yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
I need to see.
Speaker 1 (35:41):
I need something big, and often, when I was in those
very desperate moments ofneeding God, he would tell me
the most basic instructionsClean your room, go play
basketball with Jonah Go sit onyour son's bed and talk to him.
It would be little things likethat.
It wouldn't be go move amountain, it would be go play
(36:03):
basketball with Jonah, go sit inyour kid's room for a little
bit and just spend time withthem.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
It's interesting and that would move things it would
lift this burden off of me.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
Even though it didn't fix my situation, it fixed my
posture and it fixed thepressure that I felt Like he
lifted it just by in the simpleinstruction of be a good steward
over when.
I gave you Yep, I gave youthose kids you so busy trying to
acquire all this other stuff,but I gave you that and they
need you.
Speaker 2 (36:33):
What would you say to a mom who is kind of in a
season where they are ready togive up on God because they
don't see Him moving?
They have a passion and they'relike, ok, I want to go after
this, but I'm not seeing anysigns that I can make this work.
And then I'm a mom yeah, whatam I supposed to do?
Speaker 1 (36:58):
What am I supposed to do?
I think the first, probablyreal, my real experience with
that, where I literallyquestioned God, was when my son
was diagnosed with autism andthen right after that, so the
next year, he was diagnosed withfragile X syndrome and so with
(37:20):
fragile X syndrome.
You all know that autism islike this big-.
Spectrum, it's a big spectrumand we all probably could fit on
that syndrome at some pointRight.
Fragrile X syndrome is wherethere's a dysfunction in the X
chromosome and so for boys theyonly have one X chromosome Right
.
So when there's a dysfunctionin that, there's no the Y
(37:40):
chromosome can't make up forthat dysfunction in the X
chromosome, so he doesn't havethe protein that produces brain
development which would make himmentally handicapped.
We didn't find that out untilafter we found out he was
autistic.
How old, wow.
So he was two when he gotdiagnosed with autism and then
three when he was diagnosed withfragile X syndrome.
Now, this was the only childthat I asked God for.
(38:03):
This was the only child that ittook time to get.
Like, I tried and tried andtried and could not get pregnant
and I wanted Caleb.
So, bad Like it was, I neverdesired anything.
It was literally like God, youtell me, whatever you tell me to
do, I'll do it just to havethis child.
And so, to have that child bethe one that's diagnosed with
(38:27):
these two things.
It brought this intense offensethat I had towards God.
Yeah, because I'm like, Iprayed to you.
I asked you for this kid.
You answered me and then yougave me this.
What's that about?
Like, why did you even say yesthen?
(38:48):
Yeah, you could have just saidno, right?
Like now I feel like you'replaying with me.
You're playing with me and Iremember having this
conversation with God and beingvery honest and it borderline
disrespectful, but it was veryhonest.
Sometimes you got me and I'mhaving this conversation and
Caleb's in my lap and he'shaving a hard time and I'm
(39:08):
rocking him and I'm just like,why, god, why, why, why?
And I remember him speaking tome very clearly and said why not
you?
Jeremiah 29 kept coming back,for I know the plans that I have
for you and so, although thingsmay not look like he's doing
anything, although it may not,nothing feels like it's
(39:32):
happening, he's not doinganything.
But if you decide to believe inhim, then you have to decide to
believe in him Even when youdon't see it, even when you
don't feel it.
And you have to know that.
You know that.
You know that he created youand he created those kids and in
that creation he gave you thegrace necessary to get through
(39:54):
whatever you needed to getthrough for the assignment that
he brought in your life.
So, when you don't see it, justknow he's working.
Speaker 3 (40:02):
He's doing something.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
You may not see it right now or ask yourself am I
looking for something specific?
Speaker 2 (40:10):
Because you might miss it looking for something
specific.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
I was looking for.
I had begged God.
This is just a quick examplethat I can think of.
I begged God, like God.
My son is not verbal, so I wasjust like God.
Please, I just want to hear hisvoice.
I just want to hear him saythat he loves me.
I just want to hear him talk.
I just want to hear.
If Caleb could just tell me heloves me, I would be so happy.
We go to a speech therapyappointment and Caleb has a
(40:35):
tablet that you can talk on andthey're working with him on this
thing and I'm out in the lobbyand I'm ready to go because I
have to go to work.
And so she brings him out, thetherapist brings him out and
she's so happy she's like oh myGod, we have something to show
you.
I'm like, all right girl, comeon.
I got to get to work what youneed to show me.
Come on, caleb.
And Caleb is kind of like beinga little funny.
(40:58):
He grabs the tablet and he saysI love you mom.
Speaker 3 (41:02):
I knew that was coming.
I'm so proud of him.
Speaker 1 (41:06):
And I was like, okay, let's go.
All right, caleb, get your bookbag.
That's so sweet, get your bookbag.
And then tomorrow dropped himoff at school and God chained,
checked me as soon as the doorshut.
As soon as Caleb got out, godsaid what was that?
You rejected the very thingthat I gave you because it
(41:28):
didn't come in the form that youasked for.
Yikes, you asked for Caleb tosay that he loves you and he
told you, but it came in throughthe tablet and not his vocal
cords.
So you rejected the very thingthat I gave you, my God.
And so a lot of times we thinkhe's not moving and he is moving
.
Speaker 3 (41:47):
And the thing is that seems so obvious.
It's like, oh my gosh, but wedo that all the time, so it's so
easy to be like girl.
How'd you miss that?
But?
Speaker 1 (41:54):
we do it every all the time.
Yeah well, I set the story upfor you, so of course you're
going to be like this is amazing, but when you're living in
every day, you're like get yourbook bag, You're not talking
Like I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (42:07):
You don't need to stop this.
Actually, I was cute.
Speaker 3 (42:09):
Let's go.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
But in that moment when God, literally like,
arrested me in that moment.
I was like, wow, you know whatGod?
You're right and the reverencethat we have to have when he
comes and does things for us andgrants those prayers.
(42:33):
We have to be on the lookoutfor them, even if it's not in
the specific package.
So just take your idea out andjust say God, whatever.
However, you can do this, thankyou.
Speaker 3 (42:47):
Yeah, one thing, you guys, jackie Hill Perry, when
she was on the podcast and shewas talking about she thinks
she's going to live a long timeand then was reminding basically
everybody like life is aboutlong suffering, like it's about
suffering, it's not about thishappiness and this feel good and
all this Like if Jesus suffered, why wouldn't we go through
(43:07):
stuff Like because life is abouta testimony, it's about helping
other people, it's aboutsharing God's name, and if you
don't go through anything likehow are you really going to talk
about the wonders and themiracles of God?
Speaker 1 (43:19):
Not only.
How are you going to be able totalk about it, how do you know
he exists there?
Yeah, like honestly, how do weknow God exists?
Speaker 2 (43:26):
Everything would be us.
If everything would be us,everything would be us.
And I think, even to put itinto a more practical standpoint
, y'all, especially the womenwho are like I have this dream,
I have this thing.
Or God, I'm asking you to dothis thing for me, pay this bill
for me, do this thing, and hegives you an idea, and you sit
(43:47):
on it yeah.
Sit.
Oh, we will sit, because you'llsit on it, which that's the
thing.
That's the jar with the oilthat could have paid not only
your debt but that you couldlive off of.
But it wasn't cute, but youdecide.
But it.
Oh, now I got to ask people forhelp.
Speaker 1 (44:03):
Yeah, I'll never forget Carlos from the 85s.
We were randomly having thisconversation and he said women
you know it's so funny Womentalk about, they want
consistency.
He was like, or they loveconsistency, they love
consistency.
He's like, but you ain'tconsistent with anything, you
just like the benefits ofsomeone being consistent with
(44:24):
you, but you don't really loveconsistency.
But I think that those are likequestions that we should really
ask.
Do I really want that?
Speaker 2 (44:31):
Or I just want the benefit.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
Yeah, I really want it.
I'm going to be prepared to dowhatever it takes to get that
thing done.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:38):
Period.
It's the top of the year, y'all.
Yeah, if this does not put any,you know, a little extra fire
in you like it should, because Ithink too much and we're, we're
good on our platform.
We always you were telling youyou're doing a good job and
we're telling you all the thingsthat encourage you.
Speaker 1 (44:55):
But one thing that.
Speaker 3 (44:56):
Blair and I wanted for this season.
Speaker 2 (44:58):
Blair said I'm going to be honest you may not be
doing good job.
We're actually good at a veryterrible job, but no one thing
we really wanted for this seasontruly is.
We wanted to be able to showyou guys that it's more than
just the fluff.
It's more like there's.
You have it in you, but we gotto get it out of you.
We can't continue to use ourkids as an excuse.
(45:18):
We can't continue to use thefact that we're burnt out
because we're not using our timewisely.
Speaker 1 (45:24):
Period yeah, yeah, the time, the obedience, and say
that word again yeah, it's likeyou.
Speaker 2 (45:30):
you don't have anxiety, you have a disobedience
.
Speaker 1 (45:34):
You're not depressed.
You're disobedient.
Yep, you're not broke.
You're disobedient.
Your kids aren't bad.
You're disobedient.
Speaker 2 (45:44):
We're not playing this season.
Speaker 1 (45:46):
No, no, because I think we have to have, I think
we have to have the realconversations because we are
fluffing.
Everything is fluff, fluff,fluff.
Speaker 3 (45:55):
Because everything is about feeling good.
You're great, you're the best.
Speaker 2 (45:59):
You're the trophy.
There's a moment for that,there is, there's a moment for
that, but it's like it's time,but that can't be the life like
push, you know, because it'sactually not a push, it's not
everything's good, everything'ssafe, everything's to make you
comfortable and to square, yeah,everything.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
Everything is about convenience, everything, and you
cannot.
You cannot possibly, which iswhy you can't live in both
worlds.
You have to either be in thekingdom or you have to be out,
because being in both, you can'tdo both.
Self-sacr I heard this quote.
Self-sacr Ices entry-levelChristianity.
Yeah, it's like you have to beprepared to be uncomfortable,
(46:35):
and if you're looking to feelgood and you're looking to feel
like comfortable, yeah, thatain't it.
Speaker 3 (46:43):
Good luck, yeah.
So that brings me to probablymy last question.
But like, okay, a lot haschanged.
You've been through some thingslike how do you feel right now?
Like where?
Speaker 2 (46:56):
are you when?
Speaker 3 (46:57):
are you in the midst of the wilderness?
Speaker 1 (47:00):
For sure the wilderness.
That's a hundred percentaccurate.
That's a great way to describeit.
I feel like the most importantthing right now for me is I've
been able to identify who myenemy is, and then I've been
able to identify who the enemyhas been using, and so I think
(47:24):
that I've have this ability andgift when it comes to awareness
and self-awareness and beingable to articulate certain
things.
That's probably the commondenominator people will say
about me your self-awareness andI used to carry that like a
very proud badge, because I feellike so many people aren't
self-aware.
Speaker 2 (47:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (47:45):
Like just recently it was like You're self-aware, and
I'm like, yeah, and he's likeso how come you don't see me the
way I see you?
Ah?
Speaker 3 (47:56):
I wasn't ready for that part.
Speaker 1 (47:58):
He was like.
So he was like you only see,you're aware of all the negative
things about you, but you'renot aware of anything positive.
So are you self-aware?
Why does the negative stuffstick so well?
I said well, if you wanted tojust read me for films, you
could have did that.
Speaker 3 (48:19):
You can hear something good about yourself.
Every day one person says onebad thing or one negative
thought, and that's it.
Speaker 1 (48:25):
It's because we don't know who our enemy is, and we
don't know that his goal andtactic is for us to not see
ourselves the way God sees us,and so that's why that negative
comment is going to stick out toyou more than positive comments
, because guess what the realityis.
You agree with it.
Speaker 2 (48:44):
The reality is you agree with it.
You agree with it and that'swhy you're focused on it.
You can't agree with it.
Speaker 1 (48:48):
That is his tactic and his goal.
He wants us to not seeourselves the way that God sees
us, because he knows he willnever be seen the way that God
sees us.
Yeah, he hates that.
That's his whole thing.
We have to learn how to seeourselves the way God sees us.
And when I say me, I am thechief of these who doesn't see
(49:12):
anything positive about myselfever.
That's a problem.
And in doing that, you'retraining yourself to agree with
a lie, Because every thought isnot your own and every thought
isn't God's.
So now, when the enemy comes inand plants a thought.
You are tipped because that'syour pattern.
Now You're coming intoagreement with a lie.
(49:34):
You're not worthy.
You know I'm not, I guess,because I've done this, I've
done that and I've been divorcedand I had sex out of wedlock
and maybe I slept with that guyand I shouldn't have and I got
fired from this job and I didn'tdo this right.
Those are all facts.
The enemy is the accuser of thebrother.
That's a fact.
(49:54):
Maybe you are divorced, but thetruth is that if you are in
Christ, you are a new creature.
Old things are passed away, buthold on, I've made something
new.
That's the truth.
The fact is, yes, you'redivorced, but the truth is that
before you were ever placed inthe motherhood, in your mother's
womb, he knew you, he informedyou and gave you the grace that
(50:16):
you need for everything thatyou've been sent out to do, and
nothing is a surprise to him.
Speaker 2 (50:22):
I love that you said that, and the last thing that
I'm going to ask you, he'ssaying the last thing that I'm
going to ask.
Speaker 3 (50:27):
No, I said last, you didn't have that.
Speaker 2 (50:28):
I said my last, my last thing that I'm going to ask
is what do you think momsactually need to hear right now?
Speaker 1 (50:38):
Man.
I think moms need to hear thatwhat's done in secret will come
to light, right, and that I knowit feels like no one sees how
great you are, no one sees howhard you work or no one sees how
much you really do, becauseit's expected for you to just do
(50:59):
it.
But he sees it all and there isa great treasure that is
waiting for you, because youhave been obedient to the most
important call that anybodycould ever say yes to Saying yes
and answering the call to be amother.
God has entrusted you with alife that he has a specific plan
(51:22):
for to touch other people like.
He entrusted you with aministry that's going to set
generations free.
He trusted you with this giftof life that is going to do so
much for so many other people.
You're doing something that isway bigger than what you will
ever see on social media TikTok,instagram.
(51:44):
Whatever the case may be, whatyou are doing is important, no
matter who sees it, who applaudsit.
God honors it.
He's looking at you, smiling andhonoring your obedience to that
ministry of your children, andjust know that he sees you and
he hears you, and when you're inthe closet crying, and when
(52:05):
you're in the shower crying, andwhen you don't feel like you've
done enough and when you feellike you've the worst mom ever
right, he sees you and he knowsyour heart.
Just keep loving those kids,keep loving God, keep being
honest with him and I promiseyou, I promise you, what's done
in this secret will always berevealed in the light.
Speaker 2 (52:26):
Thank you for your vulnerability, thanks for
inviting me and thank you foryour yes for coming and doing
this with us.
Speaker 1 (52:31):
Thank you, thank you for my gifts.
My gifts were amazing.
Speaker 3 (52:34):
We try to treat people right.
I love my gifts.
Speaker 1 (52:38):
I'm big on hospitality.
Speaker 2 (52:41):
I appreciate that.
Well, I'll help you fill up.
Yes, this is amazing.
Speaker 1 (52:44):
Your team, everybody.
I mean your hospitality team,assistants, makeup, hair,
everybody is just amazing.
Speaker 3 (52:50):
Wow, we love them.
Thank you.
You guys are a little summercamp family.
Speaker 2 (52:54):
Yes, yes, we love our family.
I love it.
But you guys thank you so muchfor watching us.
Thank y'all for tuning in.
I hope and pray.
I know that you were blessed.
I wish you guys shared thiswith someone else and yeah,
that's it.
Thank you again.
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
(53:15):
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, what's up?
Hey mom, hey mom.
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